Change Your Image
jtindahouse
Ratings
Most Recently Rated
Reviews
AfrAId (2024)
Just the worst
'AfrAId' is the worst kind of horror in my mind. I call it "polished horror". It's nicely shot and has a decent cast - and it has absolutely no chance of being an effective horror. It's basically horror for children.
It can be hard sometimes to draw the line between poor acting and the actors having to deliver terrible dialogue. It's probably more of the latter in this film, but it often feels like everyone is reading off a teleprompter. There are annoying children everywhere too which doesn't help.
The only good thing I can say about this film is that it's short. 84 minutes and a good chunk of that is the end credits. This one is boring, unoriginal and has one of the stupidest endings you'll see this year. It also wasted David Dastmalchian in the prime of his career. 3/10.
Cold Copy (2023)
Very forgettable
This movie certainly wasn't intent on doing any favours for the journalism industry. Every character is an absolute monster and it's not even all that subtle about it. I get that it's a cut-throat industry and what this film is portraying probably isn't all that far from accurate. It doesn't change the fact that it makes for a pretty tough watch though.
Even still, the movie feels very flat. I never really felt like I'd been given a reason to keep watching or to stay invested. The story just kind of ticks along and then there's a decent, if quite cliche, ending and that's that. It's all very forgettable stuff.
I don't know, I just didn't feel like the film had enough to offer. I'm not going to remember this one a week from now. 5/10.
His Three Daughters (2023)
Is one great scene enough to redeem a movie? It goes a long way at least
When 'His Three Daughters' began I was picking up what it was putting down. Three great actresses, all with unique and interesting characters to play, going at it for 100 minutes. Sign me up. Then through the middle the film lost steam. It stopped throwing new stuff at me and kept repeating stuff we'd already seen. I understand this is a very contained movie (was it based on a play? It felt like it but I didn't see that written anywhere) but you still have to have enough to justify the runtime.
Luckily the movie has a very strong ending. There is a truly great scene towards the end of the film. Almost a completely redeeming scene. They executed it so well and it really hits you like truck.
There's enough here to make a very presentable movie, I can't help feeling it was a stronger second act away from being something truly special however. 7/10.
Salem's Lot (2024)
Feels more like a Goosebumps episode than anything else
I wonder if when Stephen King wrote 'Salem's Lot' back in 1975 he would've ever thought a remake 50 years later would be this bad. He would probably have hoped that if nothing else the film would at least look good. He would be sadly mistaken.
This film is everything that can be wrong with the horror genre. There's absolutely zero character development, there's never any tension created and anything supposedly horrifying that happens in the movie happens off screen. This feels more like a Goosebumps episode than a proper horror movie.
And the ending, boy oh boy, the ending. It's always been said that Stephen King's biggest weakness is ending his stories and you'd quite believe it watching this. I was cringing through the entire final act. This was a misfire on all fronts and not a film that is worth anyone's time. 3/10.
Black Cab (2024)
Just unpleasant basically
Holy heck this was a tough watch. And quite a bizarre one too I have to say. On the one hand you have a lame duck of a horror movie with almost nothing to offer, yet amongst all that you have the natural charisma of Nick Frost doing everything it can to shine through. Could he do enough to save it? He could not.
This movie just didn't work on any level. It wasn't intriguing, it wasn't scary or mysterious or tense. It was just a nothing ride. And frankly quite an unpleasant one too. All the characters were highly detestable people and not a lot of fun to spend 90 minutes with.
For whatever reason the British do not seem to do horror all that well. I've seen very few British horror movies over the years that I've actually enjoyed and 'Black Cab' was certainly not one of them. 4/10.
Time Cut (2024)
Should've been loads of fun and it just wasn't
What a disappointment this film was. It should've been loads of fun, 'Totally Killer' proved that with the same concept, and yet I was just bored for the majority of the run time. It doesn't work as a comedy, it doesn't work as horror or a mystery or drama. It just doesn't work.
Terrible character decisions and weak writing in terms of detailed plot points don't usually bother me, but this film was a shocker for this. Things like a girl surviving a murder attack and afterwards just being dropped home instead of at the police station. Them knowing where the killer is going to be and a simple phone call to the police ending all of their problems, and yet instead they decide to go themselves. A character apparently having an "airtight alibi" for all the murders, and yet we actually see that character at the mall at the time of the murder. There are endless things like this throughout the movie and they become very frustrating.
This concept opens itself up to so much clever humour, and there are brief touches of it, but to be honest they barely scratched the surface. The jokes should almost write themselves and yet they were very scarce. One thing I will give the movie though was that it had a great soundtrack. A generous 5/10.
Mothers' Instinct (2024)
A good film that I'm not sure many will see sadly
The movie universe it so saturated these days that a film with two Oscar winning actresses in the lead roles can come out and almost no one will ever hear about it. It doesn't help that the film has a title that sounds like a Lifetime film and a poster that is unimaginably bland. Seriously? No one could come up with anything better than just the two of them standing side by side?
Which is all a shame because the film is decent. In fairness it's my kind of movie, so I'm probably going to enjoy it more than most. But as far as reasonably grounded domestic thrillers go, this had all the right ingredients. A catastrophic event leading to major consequences with some mystery and darker themes lurking beneath the surface. Sign me up.
The old trope of the annoying child is going to bug a few people. Hollywood has been fixing this a bit more often in recent times, but this film had a big serving of it. However if you simply want to see two pretty good actresses going toe to toe in a surprisingly heavy film then this may be up your alley. 7.5/10.
Triple 9 (2016)
Don't overthink it - just have a great time
There seems to be two camps when it comes to this movie. Those that loved it and those that hated it. If you came in just looking for 2 hours of damn good action and violence then you are likely going to have a great time. If you saw a cast featuring many Oscar winners and nominees and thought you were going to get some kind of prestige piece then you are going to leave disappointed. I personally had a great time with this film.
I love a good heist movie. And the tone of 'Triple 9' is a lot darker than your average heist movie. There are some truly brutal moments in this movie. It was not afraid to go to some daring places. Also the action sequences are terrific. There is a scene where the police are clearing a house while chasing a suspect that was edge-of-your-seat stuff and perfectly shot to keep us right there with the officers.
I'll admit there were one or two interesting (shall we say) choices. I'm still doing some thinking on the final scene for example. But looking at the picture as whole, this was a damn good time of a movie. 9/10.
Donnie Brasco (1997)
True story is a blessing and a curse
There have been a lot of great gangster movies over the years. It's probably not far from being the most consistent of all the sub-genres. I'd always meant to get around to seeing 'Donnie Brasco' and I finally did. It's a pretty solid film.
This being a true story is both a blessing and a curse. On the one hand, it's very cool that this actually happened and when you're watching it that fact adds another layer to the film. On the other hand, it being a true story sort of hampers the film-making process a little. It feels safer than other gangster movies I've seen, because they're trying not to stomp all over the actual events. And that's a shame because with a few alterations to the ending of this story it could've been something truly special.
The best thing about this movie though is just seeing two actors at the top of their game going at it. How there were no Oscar nominations is beyond me. This was a good one. 8/10.
A Mistake (2024)
Another bland New Zealand film
I love New Zealand and its people, I really do. But we are a very safe and predictable people, and so we tend to write terrible books (I should know I was forced to read a number of them in school) and make extremely bland films. 'A Mistake' is no exception. Sure, we got some Hollywood talent across the Pacific for this one, but the result was the same.
In fairness its not all bad. I quite like a film that bases itself around a simple concept, or one minor event that leads to a number of consequences. For a film like that, this is about as good as you can expect. Yes a lot of the drama feels very forced and the characters are absolutely ridiculous and in no way resemble how normal people act, but hey, I guess you have to jazz things up a bit for the sake of the film.
I don't know, I guess it's just disappointing because you almost always know exactly what you're going to get with a New Zealand made film. I keep waiting for the day someone breaks the mold, but this wasn't that occasion. A generous 6/10.
The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare (2024)
A good film that could've been even better
The opening scene of 'The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare' was fantastic. It had me sitting forward in my chair and licking my lips at the prospect of the rest of the film. It was Guy Ritchie down to a tee. Then the film became a little lazy. It became more like a video game than anything else. There were still little hints of Ritchie's magic along the way, but they were frustratingly few and far between.
The film is obviously very similar to 'Inglorious Basterds'. Now comparing a film to one of the greatest films ever made is obviously not ideal. But it has to be said that that was more of what I wanted. I wanted the personal touches that that film had. I wanted more than just, "These guys are Nazis, therefore they are bad". Let us get to know them. Let us find out how truly evil they are and then their deaths will be that much more satisfying.
Don't get me wrong, this wasn't a bad film. I had a lot of fun with it. But the potential was there for it to be so much more as well. 7/10.
Cellar Door (2024)
An interesting concept that lacked the execution to make it work
The premise for 'Cellar Door' intrigued me. When you name your movie that and then make the movie about the mystery of what is behind the cellar door, then it should be a fun ride to go on and hopefully have a good pay off. Unfortunately the film wasn't as much about that as it had implied, and the ride wasn't as fun as it should've been.
This was more of a regulation thriller with a side story revolving around the cellar door. Now I've got no problem with regulation thrillers - if they're done well. This one however was a bit flat. In fact the whole movie was a bit flat. It was lacking some punch and some X-factor.
I found myself really having to strain to keep my attention on the film and that's a shame. There were a lot of little tweaks that I think could've made this a better experience. 5/10.
Woman of the Hour (2023)
Kendrick doesn't know how to draw tension out of a scene
I like Anna Kendrick, I've always enjoyed her work as an actress. She does come across to me as a very safe person however. She's not going to be one to take daring risks. And that's how her directorial debut comes across unfortunately. It's a very safe re-telling of a reasonably interesting true story.
Where she really lets her self down though is her inability to draw tension out of a scene. The serial killer scenes in this movie are both written and filmed in a really bizarre way. It's almost like how you'd do it if you were challenged to get the least reaction out of an audience possible.
There is one decent scene towards the end in a parking lot where she gets it right. But even then she ends it far too abruptly and draws the absolute minimal amount of tension from the audience she could've got. You've got us on the hook - keep us there!
The final scene in the movie I will give her credit for though. It was very well crafted and showed potential for her future. If more scenes had been like that then the movie could've been something special. As it was though it was very forgettable. 5/10.
Terrifier 3 (2024)
Delicious insanity
Good lord. I have been nervous about this film for most of 2024 and my concerns were justified it seems. Damien Leone has proven there is nothing he won't show and God I love him for that. The opening scene for 'Terrifier 3' is one of the best I've seen in a while (how good have opening scenes in horror movies been lately by the way?), for the simple reason that you really don't know whether the movie is willing to go there or not, but you have a great fear that it will.
Basically this film is like if they said, "Hey you know that one extra extreme kill we had in 'Terrifier 2'? What if we just made every kill that extreme?" If that sounds like a bit of you then you are going to have a great time with this film.
They are really starting to flesh the character of 'Art' out. He's bringing more and more extremely dark humour to the table with every outing and it is landing almost every time. Also the movie looks great. The make-up and effects were the best I've seen in one of these films yet I believe.
The scary thing is that if every one of these movies has to outdo the last, where are we heading to next? I shudder to think. And God forbid this series reaches 5, 6 or 7+ films. It's rare that your most anticipated film of the year actually lives up to expectations, but this one absolutely did. 10/10.
Thelma (2024)
Squibb is asked to carry the whole movie and does her best
June Squibb is a national treasure. I remember first seeing her in 'Nebraska' back in 2013 (how was that eleven years ago?) and her just stealing every scene with amazing comedic timing (so good that it earned her an Oscar nomination). Amazingly, 'Thelma' is the first time she's ever been the lead in a movie, and again she absolutely kills it.
Unfortunately she's basically asked to carry the entire movie by herself. They put very little - incredibly little actually - comedic talent around her and so every piece of humour has to come from her. She's good enough to do that but it does make the humour a bit of a one-trick-pony.
Also the story is such a good idea, but the execution was severely lacking. They forgot to put any stakes in the mix. Just a random amount of money plucked out of the air and some faceless bad guys. It wasn't enough to make me care about the mission she was on.
I just feel like this film could've been a lot better with some more talented supporting cast members and a re-structuring of the story to make it all matter more. 6/10.
Platoon (1986)
About as gritty and grim as war films come
War films are a funny thing. There are two types of people in the world who watch them. One is the type that watch and think how much fun it would be and that it glorifies war. The other is the type like me who thinks it looks like hell on Earth and couldn't imagine anything worse.
'Platoon' comes about the closest I've seen a movie achieve to making it very hard to justify a case that the movie is glorifying it. This really is a gritty showing of what Vietnam would have been like. Insects everywhere, snakes, the opposing soldiers potentially hidden around every corner ready to blow you to pieces, your own side even turning on you. Absolutely grim stuff and how I imagine it really was.
I did have a bit of trouble buying Charlie Sheen in the lead role. He's just a bit too polished and civilised for what the character demanded. Also, you have Johnny Depp right there, please give him more screentime.
'Platoon' was good, but it wasn't quite the masterpiece I'd always hoped it would be. And it won't be re-watched dozens of times like I do with 'Full Metal Jacket'. Still, a solid 7/10.
Don't Move (2024)
Creatively stretches a restricted concept into 90 solid minutes
Is the art of a good opening scene starting to make a return? Probably not, but a couple of films I've seen recently have had good ones and 'Don't Move' was one of them. It's a tense little scene with a bit going on, but more than that it sets up the rest of the movie. It gets information across that will come into play later and sets the characters up nicely.
My main concern when I read the synopsis for this film was whether they would be able to stretch it out over 90 minutes. The film uses some good creativity to stretch things out and keep the movie feeling fresh as things advance. It manages to make it work - just. I don't think they could've pulled off another 15-20 minutes and they were smart to keep the runtime at the length they did.
This is a solid little thriller with some good moments along the way. It may not quite have had enough X-factor to stick with me for long, but there are certainly worse ways to spend 90 minutes. 7/10.
Pi (1998)
Not great but there are little hints of Aronofsky's future magic
It's hard to ever be too critical of a low-budget independent film. Often these guys are working with the absolute bare-minimum to get their film across the finish line. So you try not to be too critical of the technical elements of the film or the acting or things like that. One thing I do think you can still be critical of though is the script. I did think it was a bit lacking in 'Pi'.
The film doesn't have much of a story. It's very simple in its premise. That on its own doesn't have to be a problem, but the movie still has to give you a reason to care. I simply didn't find myself caring about whether this guy found the number or not, or what the number related to. There were never any stakes presented.
There are little hints here of Darren Aronofsky's amazing abilities that would come to full fruition in later films when he had the budget to utilise them. If this is what you're capable of in your first film then it's likely you're going to have a hell of a career. 5/10.
The Infernal Machine (2022)
Lacking a compelling antagonist
'The Infernal Machine' was giving me a lot of 'Secret Window' vibes. I really liked 'Secret Window' and I wasn't really enjoying 'The Infernal Machine'. It took me a while to put my finger on what the difference was (aside from the obvious star power of Johnny Depp that 'Secret Window' had).
The difference was that in this film we didn't have a face to put to our villain. There was no charismatic "bad guy" that we would be captivated by. We simply had to see everything from Guy Pearce's character's point of view, and that gets a little tedious after a while.
The film is a mystery, and that was the part of it I was most looking forward to, but it never gave me enough of a reason to care about the answer. The result is that we find ourselves grinding through the almost two hour runtime and it isn't much fun. This one wasn't for me. 4/10.
The Bikeriders (2023)
Great writing can make any subject work
Roger Ebert once said, "It's not what a movie is about, it's how it is about it." Nothing could be further from my interests than a film about a biker gang. But when the film is made this well it simple doesn't matter. You're going to have a good time whether you like it or not.
This is a cast at the absolute top of their games. I couldn't think of a more perfectly suited role for Tom Hardy. He was giving me 'Godfather' feels. Jodie Comer continues to prove she is one of the best actresses working today. She's playing someone very far from who she actually is, but you'd never know it. She sinks herself into the character and never drops a scene. Also Michael Shannon might just be one of the finest actors working today (and I worry that not enough people know it). He does so much with so little screen-time in this film.
I just couldn't look away from this film and it kept getting better as it went along. The writing was exquisite and squeezed every drop out of every scene. I never expected to like this film as much as I did. 9/10.
Stream (2024)
It means well but it didn't quite work
This is one of those films I was begging to be good. I love films that have absolutely no limits on what can and will happen. And made by the same people behind 'Terrifier'? Forget about it. Sadly it didn't quite work for me.
The film is sloppy. And it was made on a smaller budget, so that is to be expected. I can handle that if that story is gripping, but that's what let me down. The concept of the most creative kill just never worked for me. And the villains were just masked strangers, so there was no charisma or terror coming out of them that you might get from the likes of 'Art the Clown'.
It's hard to completely hate a film like this though. Some of the gore is pretty gnarly and exactly what you'd expect from a film like this. Also a mid-credits cameo from Tim Curry was a nice little treat. If they were to make a sequel to a film like this I could see them ironing out a lot of the flaws and making a really good film. 5/10.
Smile 2 (2024)
Had no business being this outrageously good
I did not have the highest hopes for 'Smile 2'. It seemed like a concept that had one film in it and nothing more. How wrong I was. This film took an above average horror film in the original, and said we are going to better it in every way.
I mean don't get me wrong, it's still popcorn horror, but it's popcorn horror of the highest quality. Jump-scares rarely get anything out of me these days. This one had be jump out of my chair multiple times. I do have to make a note on this however - these did seem like the loudest jump-scares I've ever heard in a cinema. Even when the fright didn't work the sheer noise was capable of being quite startling. Not entirely sure if that was just the volume in my cinema or the sound mixing.
I worried when we were introduced to the lead character, and she was a pop-star, that it was going to be hard to side with her. Pop-stars in real life haven't exactly made themselves the most likeable of people over the last couple of decades. Her character was quite well created though. She was flawed, but she was also very personable and easy to side with. It helped that we got a terrific performance out of Naomi Scott it has to be said.
A good opening scene in horror movie has become a lost art. It's so important to get your audience hooked from the get go and set the standard. Many modern horror films forget about this, but not this film. The opening scene was great and really kicked the film off on the right note.
This film is pretty long for a horror film, coming in at over 2 hours. That's an ambitious ask to keep the quality up for that long and I kept wondering when it was all going to fall apart. It never did though and it even stuck the ending which I was really worried it wasn't going to do. I never thought I'd be writing this, but 'Smile 2' is going to be a contender for one of the best horror films of 2024. 9.5/10.
Bug (2006)
Throws everything it has at the wall and a decent amount sticks
I've always been incredibly curious about the film 'Bug'. It came out almost 20 years ago and I've been meaning to see it ever since. I had absolutely no grasp of what kind of film I was in for. And still I left surprised. This was a wild ride.
The entire runtime I kept thinking I was going to have to watch multiple explanation videos to get my head around the film. In actuality by the end of the film I thought I had a pretty good grip on what it was all about.
The acting in this movie is what makes it though. Both Ashley Judd and Michael Shannon give everything they've got and fully commit to the movie. It's even more impressive when you consider director William Friedkin doesn't do many takes, so they had to be at their best immediately in every scene.
I can see people either loving or hating every minute of this film. It won't be for everyone, but if you do connect with it could be a special experience. 7/10.
The Divide (2011)
After a clunky start it finds its way and becomes a great ride
I often say the most important ingredient to a successful and enjoyable film is having likable characters. Well 'The Divide' kind of proved me wrong on that one. Almost every character in this movie is pretty despicable. All except one that is, and it turns out that one was enough to grip onto and carry me through the movie.
Lauren German is such an underrated actress. Everything I've seen her in, which unfortunately isn't much, she has been terrific in. She's very naturally likable without seemingly having to do much. She's also a bad-ass and again it's just effortless. Without her character in this movie my enjoyment levels would've been a lot lower.
The film gets off to a bit of a clunky start, but once it finds its rhythm and gets going it becomes highly enjoyable and I was hooked. Be warned it goes to some pretty dark and grimy places, but if you can handle that you'll likely have a great time. 9/10.
Caddo Lake (2024)
Takes itself too seriously for such an outlandish concept
Sometimes you just don't connect with a film. Often for me it's when the story is based on an outlandish concept, yet the film is taking itself very seriously as if nothing is out of the ordinary. That was 'Caddo Lake' for me.
The other barometer for me about my enjoyment of a film is if its confusing, but I don't care enough to put the pieces of the puzzle together. There are films like 'Memento' where you simply have to go over every detail with a fine-tooth comb because you're so invested. With this film I was just happy to accept that all the logic worked and it was what it was.
Don't get me wrong, there's some good stuff here and if you buy into the concept you might just really enjoy yourself. All I say is this one wasn't for me. 5/10.