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Reviews
Castle Rock (2018)
-A convoluted mess-
First off, I'm not the biggest King fan - I do love some of his more believable stories and stories about madness, but the true horror ones are not it (no pun intended) for me. They seem a little cartoonish for my own tastes.
This show is bleek and miserable in a dissatisfying way - to put it better - it is hella boring and the characters are unlikable.
The story lacks structure, any sort of logic and a real and earned sense of urgency. To me it seems like the writers went: lets pile up every and any King's story into a pot and lets see what comes out of it. No stirring to mesh it nicely.
If the writers and director(s) wanted some type of intriguing series - they failed badly. It just falls flat.
MasterChef Junior (2013)
ugh
Why do they always make kids' renditions if the popular TV programs? I honestly hate that. No show was ever good with kids in it. This one too. It's just phony and the kids are usually unlikable because everyone caters to them just because they're kids. Also, I do not appreciate making little adults from these kids, it annoys me to no end, so this one gets 2 stars from me as I found no enjoyment in watching it, it was plain boring.
I feel this trend needs to stop and I do realize this show is old, but please, let it die. I watched a few episodes and I can't see it becoming better, but I can clearly see it becoming much worse. Who'd wanna watch that?
Yawn.
Midnight Mass (2021)
Wow.
This is a masterful and an exceptional psychological antihero drama with a touch of supernatural and well, a lot of cultish stuff.
Honestly, I saw immediately what the twist is going to be, but that did not ruin this series for me. It made me appreciate the little nods and hints sprinkled throughout very much. And also, it still managed to surprise me in other ways.
It may start out slowly but when it picks up the speed, it is like a tsunami of human depravity as well as goodness in humans.
The island is bleek, the lives of the residents is just like the island, dreary, repetitive (the days seem the same) and lonely. When a new thing happens, it changes the whole outlook on life for them, it becomes the thing they focus on, just to forget about their misery. I don't want to reveal anything here, so I'll just reiterate that this was a great watching experience, the best Flanagan has offered as far as I'm concerned.
Las cintas de Rosa Peral (2023)
Ugh
A biased look at the story. A narcissist enabled by her father. I believe she did it with no doubt in my mind. The documentary lacks other points of view.
It seems like she has a similar personality to Casey Anthony, kinda disgusting, thinking she can flirt her way out of everything. Well at least this one got jailed. I believe this one also does not care about her children at all and only uses them and mentions them as a leverage so that people feel sorry for her.
I hope crime documentaries become less one-sided and let us see the whole story without too many biases. But ... I feel like every other crime documentary is like this one - biased, based on opinions rather than facts and sensational.
Speak No Evil (2022)
A cautionary tale
Without getting into details, I can promise you you will feel it all, the awkwardness, the unpleasantness, being extremely uncomfortable, at times sad, at other furious, sick to your stomach because of the tension and, of course, the whole time you will feel tense. It all feels very real, as if you're watching an accident you cannot stop unraveling in front of your eyes.
You might feel shocked at one point, but if you watch closely you might just get some hints here and there sprinkled throughout the film.
When you get over all of those high emotions you are left with a cautionary tale with a strong and important message, indeed.
Watch it to find it, you will remember it forever and it may just save you from some situations you do not want to be in in the first place.
Enjoy!
El guardián invisible (2017)
One of the worst
My god, isn't this the most cliche movie ever? Also very nonsensical and boring. At least in the beginning it was funny, especially the ''cake'' scene.
Ugh, I also hated the blue filter they put in order to make it more somber. It is so ugly to look at. The acting was atrocious, but what can you do really with such an illogical storyline?
I don't wanna bash it anymore, but it honestly has no redeeming qualities.
Dirty Money (2018)
Almost spectacular
Tackling the subjects of economic & social issues in a very high-paced fashion. I loved the selection of subjects, it is a good variety - some political, some medical, some bank & loan stories as well as the food & car/vehicle industry. I must add that I found the food industry one a tad boring and not so interesting as the other ones, but I guess it is ok on its own, however other stories were much stronger and more important in my humble opinion.
What these series lack is a bit of political unbias and a story about the Clintons - I think both presidential candidates deserve the same type of investigative journalism on their wealth and social and political acquaintances.
9/10
Out of Thin Air (2017)
Underwhelming
I can see how this story is interesting, but I just don't think it was interestingly told. I found it wanted to say much and used up a lot of space and time but in the end it gave me no solid clues why I should think they were guilty or not. I thought it just did a lot of talk over nothing instead of focusing on the story and the details. I also found it a bit one-sided as we were able to almost only see or hear Erla's story.
What I also wanted out of this is to kind of delve into what might have happened to the missing persons, the theories surrounding that and a bit more talk about the 'victims' so that we can maybe make our own theories about what might have happened to them.
I don't know. To me it's really bland - stylistically, the way the story was unraveled, the main character of this story (or who the focus was on)...
Just not my cup of tea. :)
Tyrannosaur (2011)
The pain makes us (human)
Here I sit, deeply affected by this film.
This may be the only film that has made me forgive the animal(s) being killed (of course I know it wasn't real, but I just can't stand even the thought of it) because it led to a beautiful catharsis in the end, a certain change, even though, not explicitly so.
I am in awe as to how the actors performed. It did not, for a brief moment, feel like acting. The child actor was magnificent as well. It all felt, dare I say, a little too real. And that is why this film is not just a film, it is an entirely profound experience on its own. It is its own world.
The violence in the story, even if it feels uncalled for (James towards Hannah, Samuel's mom's bf towards her and Sam and the dog, Joseph's, well, towards almost everyone) is just there to show just how vulnerable humans really are - and we all know that when most vulnerable, the beast is actually the most dangerous.
The bringing together of the two people who are at their breaking points here makes no magical, Hollywoody happy end. They help each other grow but not as many would expect it. They grow in a sense that they both pick up their strengths and do what they find needed for them to survive (not physically, rather mentally), even if it hurts them in some way. They help each other realize they would need to sacrifice a part of their already broken humanity in order to fulfill a goal of getting a peace of mind. This just goes to show that, simply put, life is a baggage but it does not have to be a burden.
Ultimately, this is what I learned from this masterpiece: humans are flawed, fragile, broken, angry and pathetic. However, we all have a chance at redemption. Depends on what you find redemption is. I guess, we all have a chance at our own little personal redemptions. Our own private little Vietnams or hells becoming our own private little peaceful Saturday mornings.
American Horror Story: Checking In (2015)
...More like Hotel Cra.ppyfornia
A fellow TV and movie lover here on IMDb called this first episode of the fifth season Hotel Creepyfornia. I must disagree. As much as I love horror, gore and quirkiness and as much as I was excited to see the new season of AHS, it just didn't work for me. I felt like the characters were pretty much stupid and the story makes no sense. But what set me off even more is the fact that this is somehow based on shock value alone which always makes me yawn (lazy writing). Another thing that made me not so invested are the costumes. All this high fashion in the show shows that they went for style over substance (once again, as in season 3). I'd rather watch believable characters (meaning that they don't do stupid things) in poor "fashion" than the other way around. I want to cheer for them and not look at what they're wearing. I want to love the sinisterness of the evil protagonists and understand why they do what they do. So, in lack of all that that I find interesting, I don't recommend this. 2/10 - very disappointed.
Housebound (2014)
Chills and laughs
First of all, let me tell you about my expectations for this movie - I thought it was going to be pure horror (somehow I missed that comedy mark), so when I saw the first scene I thought to myself - are they trying to make it funny or... what? And then, little by little I realized - no way is this just a horror, this is a horror-comedy.
So, the genre being established when I was well a few minutes into the movie was a really great thing for me because all my expectations were completely crushed in a good way. Not only did this movie turn out to be something totally different than what I thought it would be but it also turned out to be fantastic.
So, what's so great about it? Well, the characters in the movie are well thought-out and they all have their uniqueness and are very likable, even the bad guy(s). There was something about a few situations and one character in particular that struck me as familiar. After a while it hit me - those things reminded me of Home Alone. One of the characters looked like Marv aaaand there were some slapsticky moments, that's all I'm gonna say. Now, I know what you're thinking - Home Alone, really? - but it does sort of use that kind of comedy. And because the horror part was well creepy it could actually use it freely as a counter-balance.
Oh, did I forget the factor of surprise? Just when you think the mystery's solved...well, you guessed it - it isn't. But, naturally, the pay-off is worth it.
Now, for the one of the best layers of this movie, it is actually the way it doesn't take itself overly serious but mostly that it doesn't take horror movies as a whole seriously. By that I mean that it has some moments where it sort of spoofs horror movies without being too spoofy about it.
Finally, all praise to the cast and writer/director. A film well worth your time if you're in for the chills and laughs.
8/10
Gravity (2013)
Endless shortcomings, universe isn't big enough for them all
It's been quite a while since I've seen this film, but I can't shake off the feeling that it was one of the worst I had the non-pleasure of watching. Never have I seen such pompously announced film so 'pompously' failing to deliver on pretty much every level - not that I expected much having seen who had been cast as the lead(s). Really, Sandra Bullock is a one trick pony - even in her comedic films I've always seen her as playing the same character over and over again, a somewhat misunderstood, clumsy, devil-may-care woman. So I wasn't convinced she could pull this off in the first place. But let me tell you how wrong I was - there was nothing in this film to pull off. Not even Meryl Streep would be able to. As vast as the universe is, as vast is the shallowness and, might I add, the utter stupidity (I rarely use this word, but really - if you have seen it or are going to, you'll see there's no other word that could describe it) of this piece of (f)art (oh, yes I went there!).
Other major character played by Clooney is oh so one dimensional that he could form a new pop sensation - One Dimension. It was like watching him in Ocean's Eleven in space. Maybe that wouldn't have been a bad idea - bunch of thieves and crooks in space trying to steal money from a spacecraft casino owned by their arch enemy - even that sounds more convincing and reality-based. But I digress.
In this film the story is ridiculous and certain to make you NOT root for the character(s). During watching you'll probably be asking yourself how in the world would this particular person make it to NASA's space program and furthermore, to space itself having admitted she crashed nearly every time while on the flight simulator. Oh yeah, if not clear, I am talking about Dr. Ryan. No knowledge of anything about EVA, but she somehow - with a little help from her friend in her DREAM and again by singing eeny, meeny, miny, moe manages to escape certain death whilst everything around her blows up and gets destroyed. I ain't no physicist but even I could see the oh so many inconsistencies between the film and physics. Let me just start by saying there is no sound in space but we do hear it when Dr. Ryan unstraps something (I do remember hearing it, I can't remember the particular scene though). I can only imagine the other wrongdoings committed to physics.
And oh my god, don't get me started on clichés. Really. Don't. This is every space film's storyline with a fatal mistake - no characters you'd care about, no character development and a lot of cliché dialogues/monologues written by someone with a mindset of a Cheesy Cheesyngson. One cliché in particular comes to mind when it comes to the soundtrack - hearing regular beats cut off by a sudden (pretty much expected) loud explosion, not my idea of originality.
And what can be said about Dr Ryan going all Bullocks, pardon me - b.o.llo.ck.s - about religion in her time of getting to grips with the certainty of her dying in space which she should have suffered through already considering she has been through so many explosions , she has inhaled a poisonous gas and so forth. And why not put her in a fetal position to symbolize rebirth (she's becoming a new person through this experience), that's smart, right? Well, eeny, meeny, miny, moe, I think I must tell you ''No!''.
Well, I guess you get the idea. I don't like Gravity. One star from me - a symbol of my suffering through this so called film. Not even for special effects - Earth ain't no Heidi Montag, no need to completely change its appearance. Okay, I'm out. With hope of enjoyment of good films as this one certainly wasn't.