Change Your Image
SamTColeridge
Reviews
Fred Claus (2007)
Paul fire your agent, hire a chimpanzee
Did anyone read the script. This has to be some of the worst writing and directing of the entire year. Three great actors, Paul Giamatti, Rachel Weisz and Miranda Richardson couldn't pull this one out. About two-thirds it looked like Giamatti eyes were saying, I can't believe I signed the contract. It's not the worst movie I ever saw, but it's on the really really bad Christmas movie list. Not enough lines, but what else can be said? Okay, the movie just doesn't move with Vaughn's con-man dialogue, his character is just a creepy guy that you just can't get past. It was just a lackluster walk through, that no one seemed to be able to get into.
Bubble (2005)
This is why Hara-kiri (Har-rah-kee-ree) was invented
Seppuku (or Hara-kiri)was created in feudal Japan in anticipation that, in the future, film makers, producers, directors, or studios might mitigate the really bad movies they made.
BUBBLE merits such an event.
This has to be one of the worst movies ever made. Wholly amateurish, with terrible coloration, horrible lighting, dialogue that smells worse than living on the downwind side of the city sewage treatment plant, bad direction at best, cinematography that is rivaled by Uncle Bubba's Arkansas home movie of his coonhound scratching himself on the front porch. (Yeah, know what you're thinking ... was going to say that, but that would mislead the reader into believing that Bubble may have more production value than it does.) And the score ... or what ever ... appears to come from one of the locals who was given guitar lessons from the Internet two days before release and dubbed some chords on the last available audio track.
There's just enough time for Steve Soderberg, Coleman Hough, Mark Cuban, Gregory Jacobs, Jason Kliot, Joana Vicente, Todd Wagner, and Carmen Cuba to rent a theater at Festival de Cannes and redeem themselves in an act of Seppuku with broomsticks at Cannes.