Change Your Image
dewit_jacco
Reviews
Cannibal (2006)
A horrible movie. Disturbingly gratifying.
This movie has found it's place among the five best movies I have ever seen. And this for a couple of reasons. 1. It's graphic, very graphic. 2. It does not pretend. 3. It actually did happen. 4. It left me empty.
In short, some comments on the above.
1. The effects are so good, that you actually forget they are effects. They're THAT graphic. And I appreciate good graphics when it comes to gore (then again, I just loooove gore).
2. This movie does not try to hit all the major screens. It knows what it is and thereby knows that it will not be embraced by a large audience, but it is filmed beautifully in it's way and it gets the message across. And this message is a disturbing one. I will not go into any details, but I can say this: if you are interested in how a person that want to actually kill and eat another human being thinks, watch this. You will not be disappointed. The human psyche is well spotlighted, as is the gore.
3. It happened for real.
4. After watching this movie, I had no thoughts for quite some time. On the one hand I was enjoying all the gore I had witnessed, but at the same time I felt a bitter emptiness for the cannibal. His loneliness is portrayed so good, it almost hurts.
Gruesome, true. But bizarrely beautiful.
Fred
Tais-toi! (2003)
This is a really great, cool, entertaining movie - MUST SEE !!
Don't rate movies that often with a 10 (for there's always that could've been better), but this one is just super! A very (and I mean: VERY) entertaining movie, with both main actors in roles they both perform with an abundance of finesse. It was great to see Reno perform the character he is so well know for. The moment where he looses his 'cool' (you be the judge of when exactly that happens), gives the movie that special 'switching moment' (like you'll know it will from the moment it starts) - and I guess for everyone it's a different moment; but it'll be there, trust me on that one.
I'll try not to spoil anything (I therefore checked the 'contains spoiler' box - don't want to mess your evening up), but Depardieu is at his best in this movie (as is Reno, by the way - though Gerard plays his characters extraordinarily good!).
Sit down, grab a beer and some Californinan walnuts (for example) and guzzle down this absolutely great movie. You'll enjoy it, believe me you will! Cheers, as I'm gonna watch it again.
Jules
Mimic: Sentinel (2003)
Booooring
Man, this movie sucked sh!t through a straw. First, one has to overcome about more than an hour of nonsensical voyeurism, than - out of the blue - some unrecognizable roaches show up from out of the blue and than, klabbam!, there the pitiful apocalypse: the monsters die and the good guy, his sister and his - to be - lover are miraculously saved and all is well again.
I wonder what the producers were thinking. The first two Mimics I liked a lot. For the disgusting effects and the, more or less, tension throughout the pictures, but this third was a bunch of crap. It was actually rather sad, on the filmer's account, to focus on the breasts of Rosy to create some kind of, whatever, image: an American teenage girl, smoking dope once in a while, looking good and showing off her bra. Well, one good thing; she didn't die.
This movie made no sense. Whatsoever. I'm sorry I watched it.
Dikke Jules (Fat Jules)
Hostel (2005)
A bad, bad, very bad movie.
Even though there was some minor gore - nothing worth talking about however - this awful movie has been an completely waste of time and money. Of mine, as well of the makers, actors and producers of this so called film, being no more than a piece of junk.
Okay, this movie mightn't have had the intention to be known as one of great script and/or story line and it had it's arrows probably aimed at being gory to the max, but it hasn't at all succeeded in doing so. There was less gore in this whole movie than there was in the first ten minutes of, for example, Bad Taste (which also had a pretty meek story line to it, but nevertheless managed to turn out to be one (to me even THE) of the classics in gore).
Hostel is a very, very bad movie with an awful plot, countless errors in continuity and and a massive amount of absolutely nonsensical scenes and actions (like there is the miraculous escape of Paxton with Kana ...). It's also full of facts that don't (in any way) connect to reality. In Amsterdam, for all I know, they speak Dutch, not some invented whatever language (see scene in the disco somewhere in the beginning of the movie). And then, most of the people in The Netherlands speak English rather well, especially in the capital, and not with the strange accent as they do in the movie (like the fat guy in the coffee shop). When our friends arrive at the closed hostel at night in Amsterdam, they all of a sudden start speaking German(!?) to the aroused people that they woke up. Do hostels in Amsterdam these days really still have curfews? Get real.
This movie could probably have scored a lot higher if it were filmed from the other perspective (the torturer's, I mean). And not from the horny kids'. But who am I? Nobody, that's right. And I am not getting paid sh1t-loads of money for making movies. It'd be an interesting thought, though.
There's also something else I find very disturbing. And that is the fact that master producer, God himself, Quentin Tarantino PRESENTS this movie Why, Mr. Tarantino? Please tell me why. Because of a few scenes of gore? Don't try to convince me that it's about the story. Slovakia might produce, in the imagination of people who don't live in Europe, an image of a country that's inhabited with retarded people that speak a language that people wouldn't even teach their pigs if they were allowed to speak, but it has a history that goes so much further back than ... well, you know what I mean.
And then there was this subtle hint of the Russians, being the bad guys. Again? What's that American turmoil against Russia coming from, these days (besides the obvious)? I thought we all enjoyed Night Watch and Day Watch. Reading in the press that Russia was finally able to compete with Hollywood ... Russian e-mail addresses end on .RU and not on .RUS. Sure that everyone filming knew this, but decided to make it .RUS anyway, so people'd be sure to think that it was Russia behind all the atrocities, and that it was them we should blame.
Don't get me wrong, though. I am very PRO gory movies and atrocities visualized on screen (it's my favorite genre), but there's a thin line between good and bad. Man! This scene where Paxton is lying on the cart, under a bunch of corpses and where the butcher is cutting up the bodies in order to dispose of them in an oven (Treblinka?), is one of the worst things I have ever seen. It's SO stupid and not scary, gory of unnerving at all. At all! It's plain stupid and it therefore is (one of many) a good example of the movie's accomplishments. A nothing-movie, on all accounts.
True: the cutting off of the fingers of the bad guy on the end was more or less decently filmed. Why Paxton had to slit his throat, though, I'll probably never know. Wasn't he supposed to be so freaking' good' and honorable? He wasn't in this godforsaken country of Slovakia anymore, but in Germany. He could've called the cops. No? Well, whatever. I am happy IMDb gives me the opportunity to vent a little, after having an afternoon wasted on this junk.
Want to see gore, with a more or less decent story (or for that matter, a bad story but still watchable?), go and check out Saw I and III, for example. Or Bad Taste (if you haven't already) or, or, or. There's too many to name.
I am very sorry that mister Tarantino has sold his name to this very upsettingly bad movie. He's still one of my favorite directors, though. Maybe, mister Tarantine, maybe you should direct Hostel III yourself? I have very little faith that Hostel II will be any better. But, as I am, I'll give them the benefit of the doubt and will watch it anyway, just for, well, whatever reason.
Dikke Jules
Saw III (2006)
One sick movie - I loved it !!
Saw I was very good. It's sequel didn't really live up to the general expectations - was my idea, for it was kinda short on the 'panic' and gore, perhaps. But III makes up for everything.
Man, what a sick movie. Great effects and pretty realistic mutilations (for as far as I think I can compare).
Heard that the makers had to adjust some scenes, in order to get rated R. Wonder what they changed ... and if an uncut version is also available.
Anyway, like gore? Like to be disgusted? Like very detailed, closed up shots of all things bloody? Go see it, you'll not be disappointed.
Jules
Jarhead (2005)
Awful movie, bad acting, bad jokes, unreal atmosphere
What an awful movie. I was so surprised to see IMDb-visitors rated it 7.3 average! Yeah, yeah, I know, I am not ye' movie critic, but I do believe I have somewhat of an opinion, when it comes to movies. In fact, I consult IMDb rather often, before renting or buying a new DVD and I must say that (with very few exceptions) I always agree with the IMDb-rating of a movie (of whatever kind, by the way). Having heard a lot about Jarhead and IMDb's rating (from 6 and up, the movies are mostly good - real good), I saw Jarhead yesterday and I was very disappointed. Sam Mendes is a good director and I was left in awe. SO bad! The acting was far below anything I have ever seen. There's a bunch of B-movies with better acting. Jokes were not at all funny, drama was pathetic, tension, what tension? Realistic? All a bunch of crap. The storyline wasn't that bad, but it died in bad acting, useless scenes (what was that about his horse? - covered in oil, ah, how sad ... and then?). The burnt bodies lying around, the dead of Troy (was that Troy, by the way? - who cares?), his girlfriend who left him, the idiotic so-called climax when they bomb that base on the end. I am sorry, but I have no idea why you dudes and dudettes rated this movie so highly. Maybe I didn't understand? Was it all a satire on some movie I haven't seen? Was it supposed to be sad, shocking, cult? There was absolutely nothing in this film that caught my attention (except for the fact that I was bored throughout the whole thing). Could someone please explain me why he/she thinks this movie deserves a 7.3 avg? Not for a moment Jarhead was interesting (no, please, don't give me the: that's-exactly-what-it-was-about-crap - to film boredom, one must not bore the viewer with bad acting, bad jokes and emphasizing so much on (the lack of) sexual relationships. Das Boot didn't need all that. And THAT'S a movie, worth 9 outta 10! Anyway, sorry I saw it. But even more sorry for the fact that 'the people who are supposed to know' rated it that high. Guess I'll take IMDb's ratings not so close to heart anymore.
Rappresaglia (1973)
Great movie
I checked the 'contains spoiler'-box, for I am not commenting on this movie in order to promote it, but as a review for people that have seen it.
I rated it with 10 points, for there's not a single scene, clue or camera handling that could want me to rate it lower. People reviewing it and commenting on it's 'speed' or 'dryness' have obviously not taken into consideration that this movie is (by now) 33 years old - an era wherein the fast-flashing-quickly-changing scenes run for victory. Phew! Everything coincided in this film. The matter was displayed in a pure and open way and it gives the viewer an up-close look at the then situation (from both sides). It was heart-breaking realistic. No heroism. Not Hollywood. A plain great movie about the occupation of Rome.
Another thing that struck me, was the appearance of the personage of Kappler. Although played by two completely different people, Kappler could be easily recognized. Played by Christopher Plummer in The Scarlet and the Black, the figure of Kappler leaves a vivid memory in the mind, after watching both movies. Where The Scarlet and the Black focused on position of the Vatican (and it's priests), this movie turns that around. Historically accurate, incomprehensible when it comes to army hierarchies, leaving the viewer behind with his/her thoughts, thoughts about an episode of the second world war - when it's not being read.
Burton performs sublime.