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Knuckles (2024)
Should have been called Wade
Ok, so nobody would have watched a Wade Wipple show... right? Well that is exactly what Knuckles is. Could the show have actually focused on the title character ? It seems no. Episode 1-2 was fair, bu then it just gets super weird. The family dinner episode and the Broadway musical episode just felt like needless fillers that was just meant to spend budget. For the high production values, they wrote a really bad story. I think they could have made this a 1:45 movie and all the added junk would have been trimmed out. The dad at the end was just dumb. Who is the bad guy? Dad? The evil guy in the robot? No idea. Sad. Pass.
Extended Family (2023)
Very real story and funny too
I was pretty disappointed to see how many poor reviews the show has received. Anyone who has been through divorce knows that it's a painful and difficult time. This show takes that strange scenario, and makes it into something that you can smile and laugh about, even the weird idiosyncrasies of the people involved in it. In the end, it's obvious that everybody in the show cares for each other and they try to make the situation funny. My family has very much enjoyed watching the show and I hope to see more of it. With only 22 minutes or so to get a story across, they have to be basic and obvious, but I've found the writing to be witty and enjoyable.
The Secret Gift of Christmas (2023)
Meghan Ory is delightful in this one. More of her please
This movie owes five of its seven stars to our lead, Meghan Ory, who looks remarkably like Jessica Pare (Mad Men). Yet, that's not her only positive quality. Ory just shines in every scene. She's a personal shopper, because apparently that's a thing. She never talks budget with her clients that we see, but that doesn't seem to be a concern for anyone. She meets a handsome construction guy and through gift giving, falls in love. Don't ask me how it works, but it does. This is a charming movie. I saw a few negative reviews, and I just don't get it. I'm as judgy as the next person, but this was a cute movie that was helped a lot by its leads.
Christmas in Notting Hill (2023)
Maybe soccer fans will enjoy?
OK, truth time. I've never seen Notting Hill, the neighborhood or the movie, so many of the connections of that movie were lost on me, so if you're looking for special insight, ask Julia Roberts, not me. So, we have an English soccer star recovering from an injury and an American school teacher falling for each other. Our American doesn't know who he is, despite the fact that he is the brother of her sister. Hmm. That's the biggest stretch of this film. Credit where credit is due, they shot this thing at least partially in London and the production values show. It's no classic, but it's unique and that's worth a watch.
Five Star Christmas (2020)
A true family ensemble movie
This movie is one of my all-time favorite movies, so I decided to give it a watch with the family, who had not yet seen it. The set up is great. Dad turns the family home into a nice Bed & Breakfast, but doesn't tell the family until they come home for Christmas. The B&B is empty and struggling. But rumor has it that a random guest is a famous blogger whose review could save the place! Naturally, the family pretends to be guests or employees, not family. The results are absolutely hilarious. The love story feels real, as does the family emotion. This one is great. It seems like every Bethany Joy Lenz movie on Hallmark is a hit.
Christmas on Cherry Lane (2023)
Way too much build up, and not enough payoff
For the first twenty minutes of this movie, before the commercial break I was lost. Or maybe disinterested is a better term. Then it closes before the break and says that the three stories we were watching are all actually happening on different timelines. Great, sounds fun. No. It's a slog. The stories are interconnected through the house the ALL live (or lived) in, but it doesn't really come together until the final five minutes of the movie, which left me a lot of time to wonder why I should keep watching. For a movie with Jonathan Bennett, I thought we'd see some funny moments, but no, it was all serious future-dad, fancy dinner chef drama. John Brotherton and Erin Cahill could have just had the whole movie to themselves and we'd have all been better off for it. And another thing, you don't keep having to mention "high oil prices" to tell us the year the events are taking place. We get it . . . Oil crisis. We just don't care.
Round and Round (2023)
Come for the time loop, stay for the fun
Each year Hallmark gives us a Hanukkah movie. For the last several years they have been a bit dry and focused on teaching the rest of the world what Jewish traditions are. Well forget all that. Round and round is a delightfully fun holiday movie that just so happens to feature a story that involves Hanukkah. Rachel gets stuck in a time loop and keeps repeating the same day over and over again. Through her loops she learns things about herself, meets a guy (often), and has a bit of caper-style fun along the way. This was a great movie that surprised me. I'd love to see Hallmark replay this one throughout the season. It's a keeper.
A Merry Scottish Christmas (2023)
Original title: Siblings are annoying in Scotland
Wow, Scotland in the winter looks beautiful. So green. Like you could jump right in the ocean or walk around in a t-shirt without trouble. Wait, it was not summer? This was supposed to be a Christmas movie? Huh. OK then. On to the story, our siblings find out their mother was a secret duchess and they now are in control of a Scottish castle, cuz that's a thing. If you've seen Party of Five, you know Lacy Chabert and Scott Wolf have had parent issues before, but this didn't seem so much as a problem. They were just annoying about it. Lacy falls for the groundskeeper, dances with someone she should actually be dating (Will Kemp) and leaves the castle only to return and stay. The last 10 minutes of the movie happened so fast that you really need to look up from your phone to catch all the flip flopping. I'm giving this one seven stars for the acting (mostly the tour guide and bar keep) and the setting. I read that the castle they used was actually in Ireland - which is not cool Hallmark. Always dissing the Scots.
Magic in Mistletoe (2023)
Uneven and drawn out
Full disclosure, I was hoping for a comedy since this film stars Paul Campbell (Three Wisemen and a Baby). The dude also wrote Unexpected Christmas, a classic. Alas, it wasn't meant to be. Paul plays Harrington, an author who wrote a series of Christmas novels focused on his hometown of (you'll never guess) Mistletoe. He posts a scrooge-like message online and is on the verge of being cancelled until his publisher's PR rep shows up to save him; wow him; spend time with him; hand him pens; decorate in ways he hates; slow the story down; meet people who already know him; accompany him to sparsely attended events. OK, all of these things. This film is incredibly uneven. Harrington seemed to learn his lesson in minute 36 or so, when my movie-watching buddy turned to me and asked if the movie was already over. Sorry, there was 1.5 hours of bland mushiness, and mild life-lessons remaining.
Candy Cane Lane (2023)
Just the right amount of silly Christmas fun
This movie is nuts and I really enjoyed it. Eddie Murphy's a dad who wants to win his neighborhood decorating contest for the cash (which is a bit ironic because they're doing just fine despite recent job events). He makes a deal with a "fallen" elf (under a freeway) and suddenly the 12 days of Christmas sort of attack the family and street. There are so many funny, clever moments in this movie that I'm certainly going to watch again. There's a fine line between silly and stupid. Eddie Murphy has definitely found himself in the stupid category before (Dr. Doolittle, The Nutty Professor). Candy Cane Lane is silly and delightful, without being stupid. The casting for this movie was really great Tracee Ellis Ross is just right and the kids and news anchors were perfect. Finally Jillian Bell, our misguided elf, is just the right amount of weird.
A Biltmore Christmas (2023)
Hallmark Christmas time travel at its best
I'm a sucker for a time travel movie, so when you add the Biltmore Estate in North Carolina at Christmas and Bethany Joy Lenz, plus Kristoffer Polaha, you've got my expectations rather high. It's safe to say my expectations were met and bested. This movie was excellent. Our protagonist is Lucy, she's a writer working on a reimagining of a film from 1947. She visits the site of the filming, the afore mentioned Biltmore Estate. Through some movie magic, Lucy travels back in time the set of the movie, during filming. Why exactly? No idea. Nobody explains that, but it's OK. Lucy gets mixed up in the inner workings of the production in the past and, no surprise falls in love with a never-been-better Polaha. How will this work out? I'm not ashamed to say that I did not see the ending coming. Which I love! Surprises are great. This movie is written and casted very well. It's funny and sweet. Extra credit for showing clips of the 1947 movie as an excellent plot device. Love it. Love it. Love it. Hallmark at its best.
A Not So Royal Christmas (2023)
A familiar Christmas genre for Hallmark
This is a familiar genre for Hallmark. There's a historical kingdom or castle who really does it up big for Christmas, but things are not exactly on the up-and-up. In this go around a journalist shows up trying to get an interview with a Count. Honestly, I can't even remember the name of the place, not that it's critical to the story. Brooke D'Orsay (who I'll always remember from Royal Pains) plays our journalist, who isn't entirely honest about why she's there. She's great as usual. The royals scheme too by trotting out Will Kemp, who might be the best looking groundskeeper in all the land, to play the never-been-seen Count. This movie works, but it doesn't break any new ground. The ending is rather cringy, but not a giant surprise.
Letters to Santa (2023)
Stealing mail is a crime and so was this movie
Hallmark, you lied. You told us that the kids in this movie get a magical pen that grants wishes. Sounds like a good time, right? Like what crazy things might the kids get with this magical pen? Well, it's not magic. It's grandma who also steals the mail, which I'm pretty sure is a crime just about anywhere. The female lead in this film is entirely too angry one minute then over-the-top happy the next. Editing? Acting? I'm not sure. There is also a rather racy scene, or tease of something racy that I would not have expected in a Hallmark movie, but kudos for trying. I'm here for showcasing some real couple situations like separation, but they dangle other love interests in front of these leads, who may have been better matches for them, which is too confusing. Think of the children! But really, this is a stinker.
The Naughty Nine (2023)
A naughty heist film for the whole family
What would happen if the guys from Oceans Eleven were actually 11 years old, and on the naughty list? It might result in something like this Disney+ offering, which was certainly watchable for me and my first grader. Kids who don't get gifts from Santa decide to bust into Santa's village in the North Pole and get the gifts they didn't receive. Forget that they didn't get them because they are on the Naughty List. Kudos to the schools being named McAllister (Home Alone) and Griswold (Christmas Vacation). Side note of reality - if these tikes are so darn clever, it seems as though there may be less difficult ways to get the gifts they are missing. The gifts are the Macguffin of the film, which in the end isn't the most critical thing. The tease a sequel near the end - looking forward to it.
Holiday Road (2023)
An emotional trip, with a side of funny
I went into this one expecting a typical road trip comedy. While I got the road trip part right (thanks title), the comedy part was middling. Yet, for such a large ensemble cast there is considerable character development and some truly touching moments, especially near the end. Did I shed a tear? Heck yes I did. I'm proud of this movie for really sticking the emotional landing. I found myself smiling and really enjoying how they wrapped up the stories of so many people trying to travel from Portland to Denver. OK, flaws: The airport closed because of storms, but we don't see any inclement weather for the whole dang trip to Colorado. I'm fairly certain there are multiple interstate freeways you might drive on for such a long trip, but they never found any. Phones don't work for maps, but you can stream video with ease. The social media influencer was way too over the top, though much of the movie, but it makes sense in the end. Sara Canning is a great, believable lead who I'd like to see in more Hallmark movies.
Dashing Through the Snow (2023)
Need more snow to really be dashing
This is basically the identical plot to Catch Me If You Claus on Hallmark, which is like when Hollywood made Armageddon and Deep Impact and released them the same summer, like nobody would notice. I like Ludacris as a dad driving an SUV, not a "Furious" street racer. Overall, it's a tad slow and not as magical as I'd hoped. I watched with my first grader and he started working on his Christmas list through most of the second half which isn't a good sign for a movie with a real Santa Claus. The best joke in the movie is Santa's beard which is black and white. Spoiler alert he dyed it white because he's really old. The joke works. And, for a movie with the title "snow" there is a concerning lack of snow, in Atlanta no less.
Best. Christmas. Ever! (2023)
Gets my lowest score ever!
It's ironic that a movie with this title would get my lowest score ever! For a Christmas movie but that's exactly what this terrible, terrible movie deserves. We worry that artificial intelligence will ruin stories, but it seems as though this movie was written by clunky AI and directed by Monkey Bob (you'll know him if you watch the movie). So maybe it's a lesson for all of us that AI will never replace us. Or it's possible I'm projecting because no actual humans should have signed off on this stinker. The movie tried to be way too many things: is Santa real?; rich vs poor; can Brandy still sing? It's a big no for me.
A Holiday Spectacular (2022)
Glossy love story
A very enjoyable movie and addition to the Hallmark list. As an avid Hallmark Christmas movie fan, I must say it doesn't feel like the holidays or like other Christmas films. It's actually focused on the love story and coming of age of the leads - which was a nice change.
To the diversity haters: shame on you. The diversity and representation in this film are to be commended, not chided. If you sat down at 8 pm on the weekend, selected a Hallmark Christmas movie and expected to see a historically accurate, quasi-documentary on the Rockettes, well that's on you. I applaud the filmmakers choices and I'm sorry that others are too afraid of differences and thus must nitpick in such a silly way.
Watch the movie, enjoy the story for what it is.
An Unexpected Christmas (2021)
Witty and smart Christmas comedy
Love the writing in this one. Witty and smart comedy in the fake couple genre. When you know where the story is going (which is a big reason we watch Hallmark) it's nice to have some unexpected laughs and set ups along the way.
Nantucket Noel (2021)
Not a Christmas movie
There's one way to judge if a movie is a Christmas movie - the substitution test. If you could put any holiday in the place of Christmas and the movie still works, it's not a Christmas movie. This was a story that could have taken place anytime of year. Just because they pick out a tree (get to know you) or decorate gingerbread houses (the stuffed shirt has a heart) doesn't mean I get the Christmas feels. :(
Next Stop, Christmas (2021)
Time travel, and Christmas? Oh, yeah.
Very nice time travel movie to find love. Not a cheesy Hallmark Christmas movie, but you might get all the feels anyway. I always enjoy a surprise ending and this one wasn't predictable (maybe a little) until the last 10 minutes.
Crashing Through the Snow (2021)
If you've been through a divorce... this is really good
Very nice to see a realistic scenario with divorced parents and dealing with the holidays. They are way too nice to each other (must be the Christmas magic), but it makes the movie sweet. Really enjoyed it.
PAW Patrol: The Movie (2021)
Took a great show and turned it up a notch
They really kept true to the original show while brings us a brand new story. Amazing job. Watched on Paramount+ because we didn't feel comfortable in a theater with a 4-year old. Watching at home was great. Didn't even pause the movie!!! That says something.
Home Economics (2021)
Really did laugh out loud
Love the concept of three siblings in different life situations, helping each other out. Pilot episode, which is always hard, really did make me laugh out loud. Loved it.
Ted Lasso (2020)
Unbelievable
Every episode gets better, and considering the first episode was a 10, that's saying something. Superb.