Reviews
Grey's Anatomy (2005)
Wow. This show really is quite bad.
I really don't know what else to say. The plots are highly absurd and not in any funny or charming way, just horribly idiotic. The characters don't talk like human beings. They all refer to their relationships as to who they're sleeping with. They say "Oh, I'm sleeping with ______." They never say what actually human beings with real emotions and the ability to be intimate with another person do. It's actually kind of disturbing. And Grey's narration sucks. She says random things that are made to sound profound but are really just stupid. It's like they took Scrubs and forced it to choke on the chicken bone of crappy late night soap opera drama.
Charmed (1998)
Cheesy and over rated
I've been watching Charmed for a while now. At first, I thought the show was decent. Not brilliant, not the greatest show ever, and not even great. Just decent. The stories were rather well written, and the acting wasn't bad. Of course, I was also younger when I started watching, and my tastes have developed a good deal since then. In looking at the more recent seasons, and looking back at some of the worst parts of the older ones, I have come to this conclusion: Charmed is a rather bad show. The main reasons, I think, are:
1) The over abundance of campyness. Now, this was not as much of a problem in the earlier seasons. Back then, the episodes were rather grounded and serious. However, as time went on, the plots degraded more and more into campyness. Plots began centering around leprechauns and other such silly aspects of mythology. And they didn't even try to handle them in an interesting or original way. The leprechauns were simply short men with lucky gold. Story lines included characters' breasts enlarging several sizes or the characters turning into super heroes. All in all, things got increasingly silly, and not in any way that was funny.
2) The villains. They were the worst part of the series. All of the villains were one dimensional. They all had the same personalities. They never had any real motivation. They simply prattled on about how evil they were, laughed manically for a while, and then tried to kill people for no real reason besides the fact that they felt like it. They never gave a motivation for the characters. They never really explained why they were the way they were. They simply said "they're evil." Which brings me to another, related point. The villains openly admitted that they were evil. They gave that as their reasons for doing what they were doing. All they wanted to do was "spread evil." I heard such lines as "I'd never work with someone who was good." This, to me at least, seems like very simplistic writing. As Willem DaFoe said, everyone thinks they're righteous. No one does things because they're evil. Everyone has some sort of motivation. Even if they're so crazy that it only makes sense to them.
3) The mythology. The use of mythology in the show was just clichéd and boring. They made no attempts to put a new spin on the mythologies they were using. No attempt to make it into something at least somewhat original. Every mythological figure was a stereotype of the culture he or she originated from. Asian mythological figures all new martial arts and spoke with "zen" wisdom. Leprichauns, as I said earlier, were simply as every leprechaun has ever been portrayed. They never once tried to adapt the mythologies into something new or interesting.
4) Bad continuity. Things would happen, and never be referenced at all again when it was needed. One question that crossed my mind a few times was that, if witches can simply make something happen by speaking a rhyme, why don't they do it more often? Why go through all the trouble of hand to hand combat and psychic powers if you can kill people with bad poetry? On another, related note, there was an episode where they introduced "The Cleaners." Beings who rewrite reality so magic isn't exposed to humans (although I never understood why everyone was so afraid that humans would find out. I mean, it's not like we could hurt demons very effectively). And yet, there was a later episode where the Witches were exposed, and the cleaners were not mentioned once. Also, there was an early episode that said "blinking" (a form of teleportation) was a power a Warlock stole from a witch. And yet, in all later episodes, it said that blinking was a power inherent in all Warlocks.
All in all, the show kind of sucks. I think. But hey, if someone else likes it, that's their porogative.
V for Vendetta (2005)
I couldn't stand this amazing movie.
I hated it and thought is was the best damn movie I've seen in a while at the same time. Let me explain. You see, the movie was very well done. The acting was great, the story was intriguing, the characters were well developed, and the overall theme of the movie rang true to the book. However, they took far too many liberties. Far more than were necessary. The rest of my review will be in spoiler tags. While the overall plot was the same, the difference was in the details. Evey was not a prostitute at the beginning. Not a big deal, and that part didn't bother me. However, V did not take Evey to the shadow gallery after their first meeting. He let her go, and she returned to her job at the BNC, which they added. Then, they had the V taking over the news station seen much earlier than in the comic. That bothered me a bit, but what bothered me the most was how the handled the scene. They butchered V's speech. Gone was the theatricality of him playing the part of God, having a meeting with humanity in his office to tell humanity that they were to be fired from the corporation that is life do to the political and social disasters over the course of human history. The speech in it's place, while very well written, was still quite inferior. And unnecessary. The original speech was perfect the way it was, and there was no reason to alter it that I can see. Many other changes were made as well. Rose, the wife of the fingerman V killed who V manipulated into becoming the Chancelor's assassin, was gone. I personally found the way the Chancelor was killed in the comic to be far better than the way he was killed in the movie. The also completely omitted the bits told from the Chancelor's perspective. While not a necessary piece of the story, they gave a good deal of insight into the psychology of a fascist dictator and the inherent madness of one. If it had remained, it would have given an extra layer of depth to the film and would have made the Chancelor more than a two dimensional villain. The fight scene at the end of the film, while very well done, was not in the comic and was quite unnecessary. V was killed by Finch in the comic book, and while the scene was not as exiting, it was just as deep and emotionally gripping, if not more so. Also, they severely cut short Finch's visit to Larkhill. In the comic, Finch went there and took some LSD, to try to understand V's obviously warped psyche. What followed was a rather bad trip on Finch's part that gave some insight into the mind of a person who's in fear of his government, and what they'll do to survive, even if that involves completely ignoring their personal moral code. In the movie, however, the trip was completely omitted. They also changed the reason that England went fascist. Instead of a result of the chaos that ensued due to a war between the world's super powers, it was changed to a conspiracy by the part itself to create chaos. Most of the changes, to me, seemed completely unnecessary, and I wonder why they chose to do them in the first place. The part that they kept completely the same (with the exceptions of one or two lines) was the scene where Evey was in the jail cell, reading the letter from the woman in room four. That was one of my favorite parts of the book, so I was glad to see they kept it. All in all, it was a great film. However, if they had been closer to the book, it would have been extraordinary.
16 Blocks (2006)
Def's Subtle Homage Adds Hidden Depths to Well-Paced Drama
OK: I guess the history of film's "dark ages" literally is so little remembered that Mos Def's subtle homage in 16 BLOCKS just flies over the heads of the mostly deaf (to history) critics, both professional and amateur. "Irritating", "annoying", and "aggravating" are the adjectives most often used to describe Mos Def's performance as Eddie in Richard Donner's latest film: a well-paced urban cop thriller which takes ordinary action-film clichés and raises them to about the pinnacle of their potential (while still remaining clichés).
A handful of the professional critics noted the similarity of Def's performance to those of the stereotyped cringing menials presented by actors such as Stepin Fetchit in Hollywood films of the 1930s. But these critics make this connection almost invariably in a disapproving, condescending tone.
No one, it seems, gets it (or perhaps a few I have not read, but many, at least fail to recognize the significance of what Def has attempted-- and I believe successfully-- to do). Watch him in the film: how he walks, how he talks, his "irritating" voice: Mos Def IS Stepin Fetchit. It is a very special kind of homage.
In interviews over the years, Mos Def has time and again spoken about the African-American actors from those long-ago, racist years of Hollywood's early sound era. He is fully aware of the shoulders he stands on, and of the legacy he has inherited (from Fetchit to Bill "Bojangles" Robinson to Hattie McDaniel, Dooley Wilson, Juano Hernandez, Leigh Whipper, Dorothy Daindridge, Sidney Poitier. through to the success stories of today-- Lou Gosset Jr., Whoopi Goldberg, Cuba Gooding Jr., Denzel Washington, Hallie Berry, Morgan Freeman, Jamie Foxx, and so many more). So his Eddie in 16 BLOCKS is played as though Stepin Fetchit in his prime were somehow transported into the 21st century and given a role commensurate to his talents. "Look!" Def seems to be saying. "See what this guy COULD have done!" It is Def's subtle homage to the great Styepin Fetchit (Hollywood's first black "star"-- for what it was worth at the time) adds hidden depths to 16 BLOCKS, and it compliments Bruce Willis' affecting performance quite impressively.
See the other reviews for more specific details about the film. But in the end, remember: Mos Def's "irritating", "annoying", and "aggravating" performance is a very special kind of tribute, and it works!
Nukie (1987)
The worst movie ever created by man or god. You must see it.
This is quite possible the single worst film in the history of creation. Lucifur himself would have refused to create a film such as this, for it would have seemed too cruel even to him. It is completely and utterly devoid of anything resembling logic or intelligence.
You have to buy it.
It is so bad, it's just amazing to watch. You will laugh at it's idiocy. Constantly. My friends and I watched it several weeks ago, and we're still making fun of it. So, if you like to watch crappy movies and make fun of them, get this movie right now. However, if you don't. Then avoid the movie at all costs.
Fantastic Four (2005)
A huge let down.
Now, let me say in advance that I'm a huge comic book fan, so I may be a tad biased. Fantastic Four was a huge let down. The Fantastic Four I grew up with are scientific explorers, chartering new and as of yet unexplored aspects of our universe, and often times fighting aliens and giant monsters in the process. The Fantastic Four comics are full of deep philosophical points and great characterization.
The movie, not so much.
One of the major problems is the liberties the movie takes with the material. Mainly with Dr. Doom. They completely changed the character. In the comics, he's the fascist dictator of the (very fictional) country of Latveria. He was an old college buddy of Reed Richards who he blames for the disfigurement that forces him to wear a mask all the time (even though it was his own fault). He's a scientific and tactical genius, and is pretty much one of the coolest villains Marvel comics ever created. In the movie, he's hardly even recognizable. He's a businessman who accompanies the four on their trip into space and gets super strength, electric powers, and metal skin. And his turn from just being a jerk to homicidal tendencies seems so random.
As for the rest of the movie, the pacing is very rushed. It seems like everything is just going by so fast without slowing down to properly tell the story.
The fact that they never even showed the group getting back to earth from the space voyage that gave them their powers and just showed them waking up in the hospital was just annoying. Also, when Johnny Storm (played by Chris Evans) first manifested his powers, he was skiing with some woman. He burst into flames and crashed into a pile of snow, causing it to turn into a mini hot tub. Instead of the natural reaction of screaming and asking what the hell is going on, the woman just dropped her skis, implying that she was going to get in.
During the movie, Ben Grimm (played by Micheal Chiklis) returned to his fiancé. Since he was a giant rock man, she was understandably freaked out. But after he helped save several firemen from falling to their deaths, she handed the engagement ring back to him. Now, if your fiancé, rock monster or not, saved the lives of several firemen, would you just hand the ring back? I doubt it.
The jokes in this film were incredibly cheesy. They had this little comedy montage in the middle of the film that was completely pointless and did nothing to further the plot. The only good parts were Johnny Storm, Ben Grimm, and their interactions. Those parts were very well done.
However, in regards to Johnny Storm, I hated how, when he went of to enjoy his powers, he went to do a motto cross event. I was thinking "wouldn't it be better if he went around the city playing superhero?" But alas, the higher ups decided that it would be better to have him doing extreme sports to help bring in the younger demographics.
During the movie, Ben Grimm met a blind girl who didn't really care that he looked the way he did, and was nice to him. At the end of the movie, they were hanging off of each other like they had been dating for weeks. Obviously, there had been an intention to have more scenes between them included, but they were cut out.
Also, at the end, Dr. Doom was just allowed to be put on a boat headed to Europe, even though very shortly before that he was blowing up chunks of Time's Square. Now, he had been petrified by this point, but don't you think the police would have kept him in their custody just in case? All in all, this was a rather disappointing movie with several rather obvious plot holes, bad pacing, and little respect for the characters. Some people have praised this movie for not taking itself too seriously. I personally think that's this movie's biggest fault.