How can you encourage a peer to share their story without retraumatizing them?

I explain to my peers that even though their story of recovery may traumatize them, I remind them of their successes and accomplishments during their most difficult and darkest times of their lives. Their recovery, as hard as it was for them, will bring Hope to many others that lived similar experiences as them. And their lived experiences will bring the message that Recovery Is Possible For Everyone!

It is crucial to recognize and accept that even the people we assist have a role to play in their well-being. While our intention to help comes from a noble place, we must respect their autonomy and their right to choose not to engage in what we may think is helpful for them. Our role is to provide a platform not only with logical information but also with emotional support. Whether they are willing to accept it is a choice that belongs to them. We should aim to be there to support them, not to be there to change them

I find it helpful to guide people to understand their boundaries. Sometimes someone won't know what is and isn't off limits to themselves if they haven't had time to process it. The act of writing out what you are and aren't comfortable with sharing can be useful to understand your own boundaries.

Encouraging a peer to share their story is a delicate dance of respect and care. My guiding principle is akin to recognizing that life's trials are like compost for growth. Everyone's season of growth varies, and honoring that is key. I step back from inserting my own interpretations, instead allowing them the room to paint their story as they see fit. I'm conscious that triggers can be hidden and unique, I remain vigilant for non-verbal signs of discomfort; providing a safe space where vulnerability is met with empathy, not analysis. We can’t always know the depths of someone’s experience or what might reopen old wounds. So, we listen, we observe, and we stay present, offering a safe harbor for stories to unfold at their own pace.

The biggest key to being effective in peer support is credibility. Whenever I meet a peer for the first time the first question I ask them is: "do they want to tell me their story, or do they want to hear mine"? This builds rapport and allows them to either get what they've been holding on to off their chest immediately, or it gives them an insight into me and my experiences to decide if I'm going to be helpful to them. It also provides them reassurance that the person they are talking to has an understanding of what they're dealing with and isn't going to judge them.

You are only facilitating a conversation. The scope and depth of it is entirely at the discretion and comfort level of the person involved.

I often use the phrase share scars not wounds. In sharing my personal story, I have found that sharing is a wonderful piece of the peer relationship, but I share my scars not wounds. Wounds are still fresh, and more prone in my experience to retraumatize. I share this with my peers. It is ok to not share everything. Some wounds are just too fresh to share. Those can be shared in due time. Start with sharing your scars, which are far less likely to retraumatize.

I think of it as taking your peer as a fragile ecosystem. Their story is a part of them, and it needs to be treated with care. If you ask the wrong question or push them too hard, you could damage their ecosystem and trigger painful memories.

First and foremost acknowledge their pain and respect their boundaries. Allow them to be more comfortable disclosing their story at their will and time, don't pressurize. And if they are narrating their story, let them set the pace and follow their cues. Seek consent before asking questions and respect their Yes! and No! You cannot give room for judgment but to listen and empathize.

In my own experience, it is very important to validate your peer's experience. Their perception of events that have led them to seek out support is one hundred percent valid, even if you don't understand how they got there. Take the time to listen for the sake of understanding their point of view, and offer them unconditional encouragement. Ask them what kind of support they need if you are unsure, but sometimes being a silent witness lets them know they are not alone, and that can be one of the most valuable ways you can support someone going through a hard time.

There is a significant difference between agreeing and validating. It's common for us to respond with 'yes' or 'no' when someone shares their difficulties with us, but it's equally important to realize that we don't inhabit their perceived reality. We all have our own versions of reality, influenced by our perceptions and senses. With that in mind, we all have unique ways of seeing, living, and experiencing life. Just because it differs from our own doesn't make it any less valid. Once we can differentiate between agreement and validation, our reflective statements will sound more sincere and authentic.

Another way to validate your peer's feelings and experiences is to ask clarifying questions. This shows that you are interested in learning more about their story and that you respect their perspective. For example, you could ask: "Can you tell me more about how that made you feel?" "What was the hardest part of that experience for you?" "How has that experience affected your life?" When asking clarifying questions, be sure to avoid asking leading questions that could put your peer on the spot. For example, avoid asking questions that start with "Why" or "How could you have...?" instead, focus on asking open-ended questions that allow your peer to share as much or as little as they want.

Totally agree with this. In our peer led support groups we discuss boundaries. Boundaries creates safety for peers and people we support. It’s a safe space to share as much or as little as the person wants without any pressure. Boundaries establishes mutual respect for one another to actively listen without judgement, minimising and invalidating. It allows peers to discuss their experiences freely but only go as far as the boundary they have set for themselves in a safe way.

The safety principle is like a sturdy pair of boots. It protects your peer from harm and helps them to feel safe enough to explore their trauma. The trustworthiness principle is like a map. It helps your peer to trust you and to know that you are leading them in the right direction. The choice principle is like a compass. It helps your peer to stay in control of their own healing journey and to make their own decisions about their care.

Academic research on triggers in peer support has found that: Triggers can be anything, including words, sounds, images, smells, or situations. Triggers can vary from person to person, and over time. Triggers can be unpredictable and difficult to control. Peer supporters can play an important role in helping their peers to identify and manage triggers.

While it's wonderful to be able to contribute and facilitate betterment for someone, it's essential that we do the same for ourselves. As the old metaphor suggests, we can't pour into someone else's cup when our own cup isn't full. We all have different stress thresholds, and that's perfectly normal. The key is understanding what helps you restore balance. The best way to regain equilibrium is through taking action or engaging in physical activities. Sometimes, behaviors are overlooked because they may not bring immediate change. However, it's not always about speed; it's about being effective and sustainable in the long run. Do what you enjoy, and with persistence and determination, you might find that you genuinely like the results.

When peer supporters do not take care of themselves, they can also harm their peers. For example, a peer supporter who is feeling triggered may be more likely to say or do something that is hurtful or unhelpful to their peer. It is important for peer supporters to find a balance between taking care of themselves and providing support to their peers. This may mean setting limits on how much time they can commit to peer support, taking breaks when needed, and seeking support from others. It is also important for peer supporters to be aware of their own triggers and how to cope with them. By taking care of themselves, peer supporters can better support their peers and prevent negative consequences for themselves and their peers.

Peer support isn't the same as attending a one-day certification class such as psychological or mental health first aid. Being a peer supporter requires much more than a certificate. While it's not a prerequisite to have a mental health condition or struggles to be a peer supporter, witnessing the improvement of those with lived experiences can be transformative and inspiring. However, it's equally important to understand that even if you don't have any existing mental health concerns, you can still be a peer supporter simply by being human. We are inherently born with the power of empathy, and if we harness this superpower, we can all be there for one another. As the old saying goes, we can't help everyone, but everyone can help someone.

The most crucial component of peer support is missing from this article, a shared or relevant lived experience. Without this essential aspect, whatever is being described is better positioned as psychosocial support as it doesn't fully capture and appreciate the nuance of peer support.

Provide a psychology safety space is vital for everyone to express their invisible emotion and hidden voice per se. Instead for judging That is wrong. We can say that is room to be improved. Aside from this. The value of the emotional vibration gain from pleasure for end results not to take the blame..then to ensure not to REPEAT The Old pattern to build a new habit. Spiritual pyscholology helps to allevate emotion pain well-being with their own faith and belief system.

It's very important to consider power dynamics when providing peer support as well. Socio-economic statuses don't disappear in the midst of good intentions. Some examples of people groups who may have unequal power could include: 1. White people vs. people of colour 2. Financially comfortable people vs. financially vulnerable people. 3. Neurotypical vs. neurodivergent. 4. Someone who is seen as "able" vs. someone who is seen as "disabled" or "differently abled." 4. A tenured/salaried staff member vs. a temporary or hourly staff person. 5. Straight cis person vs. lgbtqia+ 6. Someone who identifies with mainstream religion vs. someone of a minority religion. Power can shape bias, and bias can trigger retraumatization.

When they start describing a traumatic scene without you asking them to do be very attentive to the effect this has on them. Then interrupt the flow and ask them how it is for them to be relating their experience. If the effect on them is too strong for them you may offer to work on this differently. Then help them to come back to a safe and secure place. Explain that you may help them to find their own solutions at the right moment for them and that that doesn't necessitate them doing as such at this very moment. Then work on them feeling the safest possible in this new relationship with you and in themselves.

Try not to focus on the results, the trauma itself, rather concentrate on the causes that led to the trauma occurring. Typically the causes are separated from the trauma entirely. They can be choices or lack of choice. They could be a lack of paying attention to the finer details; they can be results of a distorting mindset. There’s a number of causes that lead to traumas, but people often focus on the trauma. When the causes point towards self empowerment, a personal sense of responsibility which dissolves helplessness. Identified causes shapes an opportunity to educate yourself, and gain insight into yourself to learn, from possible mistakes, or indifferences, perhaps complacency, that led to the trauma taking place.

Anyone who wants to work in peer support especially in the first responder arena needs to be mindful of two things: If you are new to the job, as much as you may want to help you need some experience before you can be effective in peer support. A big part of peer support is being able to emphasize with another's situation, and that empathy only truly comes through lived experience. If you are coming from a place of trauma, you have to have some resolution to that trauma before you can be truly effective in peer support. Many people who go into treatment reflexively want to help others. While that is a good instinct, you can't be truly helpful if you're battling your own issues at the same time.

Peer support does not nor should it be mistaken for being a mental health professional. I don’t think you should encourage or direct the conversation to go anywhere they don’t want it too. If you pry that door open when they aren’t ready you won’t be ready or trained to close it. Let the conversation take a natural flow, show empathy, give support, and let them have a safe place. But do not drive them to talk about their trauma, that is up to them not you.