24 Funny One-Liners to Tell at Parties

Most of us aren't stand-up comedians, and we don't walk around with a full repertoire of funny jokes to share at parties. That's why it's helpful to have a good one-liner in your back pocket. A reliable joke never fails to break the ice during social interactions, and goodness knows some of us can use all the help we can get in those situations!

Every so often, the good people of the Ask Reddit community get together and reveal their favorite short joke. Thanks to them, it's easier than ever to memorize one or two quips to fill those awkward silences at your next backyard barbecue. Next time you're at a loss for words, try out one of these one-liners and watch your popularity soar!*

*Results not guaranteed. Your mileage may vary. Please joke responsibly.

of 24

Did Not See That Coming

"Dad comes to his son and tells him he's adopted. The boy screams. 'I knew it! I wanna see my real parents!'

Dad replies, 'We are your real parents, son. Pack your stuff, they're waiting.'"

—ciprex

of 24

Well, Well, Well, Very Funny

"Why did the old woman fall into the well?"

"Because she couldn’t see that well."

—tocamix90

of 24

Logical Thinking

"Why do scuba divers fall backwards out of the boat?"

"Because if they fell forwards they'd still be in the boat."

—Natural_Justice

of 24

Jokes for Hungry People

"Well I'm sure everybody here already knows about Murphy's Law...but you guys probably don't know about Cole's law, am I right?"

"What's Cole's Law?"

"It's thinly sliced cabbage. Sometimes it has vinaigrette or mayonnaise."

—mystriddlery

of 24

Ha Ha, Very Punny

"I didn't know my dad was a construction site thief, but when I got home all the signs were there."

—Zyracksis

of 24

Good Ol' Grandpa

"I'll never forget my grandfather's last words to me before he kicked the bucket. He looked me in the eyes and said, 'Son, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?'"

—Rockatelli

of 24

Speaking of Grandfathers...

"My grandfather had the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the Central Park Zoo."
—c**tpuffin

of 24

I See What You Did There

"It's always hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they're always taking things literally."

—Zyracksis

of 24

Now You Tell Me

"If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic."

—rotobot

of 24

Shoutout to Bel-Air

Via Giphy

"How do you find Will Smith in a snowstorm?"

"Look for the fresh prints."

—taeloth

of 24

Here's Something Heartfelt

"A man is at the funeral of an old friend. He approaches the dead man's wife, and asks if he could say a word. The wife says that yes, he could. The man stands up, clears his throat, and says 'Plethora.'

The wife smiles, and says 'Thank you, that means a lot.'"

—BBLTHRW

of 24