No matter how sexually experienced a person is, it's important to remember that everyone has been a beginner at some point. So whether you're masturbating, having partnered sex, using a sex toy (like a vibrator or dildo), or trying a new sex act for the first time, there's absolutely no reason to be ashamed. On the contrary, there are a number of sex toys made specifically for beginners that are easy to use, easy to clean, and that can help you understand and explore your preferences.
But how do you go about finding a sex toy if you've never shopped for one before? Rachel Wright, a licensed psychotherapist and sexpert for Zumio, breaks down the process of getting started into a few simple steps: "Number one," she begins, "start with lube. Lube is the best first sex toy because it enhances every sexual experience we have — whether that's with our hands, other body parts, or a toy." And if you've never bought or used lube before, check out our guide to the best lubes and how to use them.
"Then," continues Wright, "once you find a lube you like, think about the physical sensations you like and find a toy that can do them in a faster/longer/more intense/slightly different way than a human can."
She adds that you don't need to "reinvent the wheel" or push yourself to try something new and adventurous. "When you're first starting out looking for a sex toy, don't reinvent the wheel. Start with what you know you like! Sex toys are meant to do things humans can't — so think of what you like with a human and find a sex toy that mimics that."
For instance, if you dislike penetration, you're probably better off with a bullet vibrator or wand vibrator than a dildo, g-spot vibrator, or rabbit vibrator. Meanwhile, if you know you like anal stimulation, an anal vibrator or anal toy in general (and a bottle of lube!) may be best for you. And if you've never been with another person sexually before, gently explore your body with your fingers and with the help of a lube that's right for you, and pay attention to what you like and what you fantasize about.
Finally, don't ever be ashamed of feeling aroused, wanting sex, or masturbating. Owning and using a sex toy isn't shameful. In fact, it's a powerful way of exercising your sexual agency and taking pleasure into your own hands (pun intended)!
"There is so much stigma and misinformation about sex toys out there," admits Wright. "Some people think that they're a replacement for another person (they are not), that they'll make your bits go numb (they do not), and that they're somehow bad or deviant for wanting to use one (you're not!). Sex toys are meant to enhance your pleasure — think of them as pleasure aids."
If you still have questions about what sex toys are and how to use them, check out our guides on every type of vibrator, how to use each type of vibrator, how to use a dildo, and our sexual wellness section in general. And read on for some of the best, easiest-to-use toys for beginners, whether you're looking to explore clitoral stimulation, penetration, anal play, kink, partner play, or beyond.
Deals on Sex Toys for Beginners
Best Beginner Toys for Clitoral Stimulation
Did you know that less than 20 percent of people with vaginas achieve orgasm from penetrative sex alone? This means that, for most, people, clitoral stimulation is absolutely essential. Below, the best expert- and reviewer-approved toys for exploring this highly sensitive part of the body
"If you haven't tried a sex toy before," says Wright, "a wand is a really good place to start, if you know you like a bit more broad vibration/stimulation. I like to recommend the LeWand Petite to newbies because its size isn't intimidating, they come in pretty colors and yet they can pack a punch."
Pros: high-powered; lightweight (good for travel); six vibration patterns and 10 levels of intensity for easy customization; flexible head; free of latex and phthalates; has a travel lock
Cons: not waterproof; cannot be paired with silicone-based lube
Customer Review: "It looks gorgeous—my wife could not resist using it as a microphone the moment it came out of the box. It's a lovely color, beautifully soft, and super simple to use. It works like a charm and I think this is the easiest toy for a man to use on a lady. It's also been used by her on me—with great success! Just five stars in every sense." -Lovehoney
Several reviewers write that this wand vibrator is small, quiet, and discreet. One buyer adds that it's perfect for those who are new to sex toys, new to clitoral stimulation, or who are just plain sensitive "down there," pointing out that's it's effective without being too strong.
Pros: easy to clean; rechargeable; comes with a travel case; 20 vibration patterns and eight intensity levels; quiet
Cons: high-intensity settings can be noisier; cannot be paired with silicone-base lube
Customer Review: "The settings and vibration levels are CRAZY! I’ve spent (literally) 10 times this price on vibes in the past and this one is my all-time favorite. The head has some flexibility to it, but not much, which I love, and the surface area is also sufficient." -Amazon
"Zumio is a pleasure aid that's made for humans of all genders and ages — although its focus is on making clitoral stimulation and vulva mapping easy, fun, and pleasurable," says Wright. "It's easy to use, doesn't look phallic, and feels incredible if you like pinpointed stimulation."
Pros: expert-approved; easy to use; non-phallic; flexible head
Cons: some users find it difficult to switch between settings during use
Customer Review: "FINALLY! I found what I needed. I always knew that I wanted a smaller, more intense stimulation. This does exactly that." -Amazon
Wright also recommends this vibrator, explaining, "Dame Products is a woman-founded sex tech / sexual wellness company that prioritizes ethics, well-made toys, and their community. They survey and make toys based off of customer need, which you can tell when you use them. Pom is a palm vibrator and wonderful for all genders, although designed to fit perfectly on a vulva."
Pros: flexible; inclusive to all anatomy; expert-approved; five vibration patterns and five intensity levels
Cons: not as suitable for pinpointed stimulation; cannot be paired with silicone-base lube
Customer Review: "Seriously one of my favorites ever! Easy to pair with a second something internal or awesome just alone. Easy to use, easy to charge, easy to clean. Love the variations. Easily one of my favorite Sephora purchases this year." -Sephora
Best Beginner Toys for Vaginal Penetration
Although, as previously mentioned, many people with vaginas need direct clitoral stimulation of some sort in order to achieve orgasm, many still enjoy and are even able to orgasm from penetration. Whether you're interested in g-spot vibrators, dildos, or life-like phallic replicas, scroll on for some of the best beginner penetrative toys available online right now.
Sex educator and Lovehoney sexpert Javay Frye-Nekrasova says that this rabbit vibrator is an excellent option for people of all experience levels, including beginners. She explains, "The adjustable arm's flexibility allows for people to adjust it as they need regardless of experience level."
Pros: expert-approved; flexible arm; waterproof; can be controlled via mobile app; 12 vibration patterns and 10 intensity levels
Cons: some users found vibrations weren't strong enough; cannot be paired with silicone-base lube
Customer Review: "I am no stranger to rabbit style vibrators. From the original rabbit to fifty shades greedy girl, there is scarcely a rabbit I have yet to try. While they all got me to the party, the We Vibe 2 is FAR AND AWAY the best toy out there and gives me the most intense, explosive orgasms I have ever experienced. I didn't even have time to find my favorite porn flick on my phone before my eyes were rolled back in my head and my body was convulsing with pleasure. It seems a little expensive but let me tell you, you will know where every penny went the first time you use it. Buy this NOW!!!!" -Amazon
Frye-Nekrasova says that this option is great for those who are just beginning to dabble in (or are curious about) dildo play. "The circumference is only 4 inches," she says, "and then you can move up as you feel comfortable and ready."
Pros: expert-approved; great size for beginners; strong suction cup; great for hands-free play; flexible but firm
Cons: some users which it vibrated; cannot be paired with silicone-base lube
Customer Reviews: "Purchased for a little shower play with the girlfriend. Sucks very well to the tiled of the bathroom even when the shower is on, with the bit of flexibility at the bottom allowing you to adjust a little." -Lovehoney
If you don't like phallic toys and prefer fingering and other types of penetration during sex, consider this high-end stainless steel toy, which Frye-Nekrasova recommends for those who "enjoy some types of penetration such as fingering or less girthy items."
Pros: great for those who don't enjoy intense penetration; easy to clean; expert-approved; non-phallic; great for temperature play; anal-safe
Cons: none found
Customer Review: "The feel, weight and size was a massive turn on and led to an explosive orgasm." -Lovehoney
If you enjoy G-spot stimulation and G-spot vibrators, Frye-Nekrasova recommends this gem. She says, "The design allows you to stimulate the g-spot even if you aren't sure exactly where it is, because of the bulbous head design."
Pros: non-phallic; expert-approved; not too girthy; long battery life; free of latex and phthalates
Cons: some users find it difficult to clean; cannot be paired with silicone-base lube
Customer Review: "I love the sleek, simple black design—it's very smooth and soft to the touch. The handle is just the right length when holding to get it exactly where it needs to be. Adore the fact that it only has 3 patterns—simple is definitely great for this! I was very surprised at how intense the vibrations are, with it being so small, and that the intensity of each pattern can be turned up by just pressing the button again." -Lovehoney
Best Anal Toys for Beginners
Anal stimulation can be extremely pleasurable for both men and women. Frye-Nekrasova reminds us, though, that when experimenting with anal play, be sure to use lots of lube (the rectum, unlike the vagina, does not self-lubricate), start small, and always use a toy that is meant for anal stimulation. The rectum is a lot like a vacuum, and will suck up anything that doesn't have a flared base, which can result in serious injury. And finally, to avoid putting yourself at risk of an infection, clean your toys and never put something on your clitoris or into your vagina after it's been in your rectum!
"If you're new to anal play or want to try masturbating or using other sex toys with anal stimulation, b-Vibe is the place to start," Wright recommends. "They have a line called snug plugs, that are designed to be worn and help with anal training, as well as during other sexual activities. I recommend starting with the 1 or 2, depending on your experience level."
Pros: expert-approved; easy to clean; wearable; waterproof
Cons: cannot be paired with silicone-base lube
Customer Review: "Comfortable, fun, and a great starting point for anal play! Make sure you're using water-based lube and go nuts!" -Amazon
The three plugs in this kit increase in length and width so that, if you're a beginner, you can ease your way into anal play without worrying about hurting yourself. A number of reviewers say that this kit was perfect for their beginner levels, noting that the toys allowed them to comfortably explore.
Pros: customizable; three toys for the price of one; easy to clean; waterproof
Cons: cannot be paired with silicone-base lube
Customer Review: "This little kit is amazing! Great for training and double penetration. Felt amazing having it in during sex with the hubs. Would definitely recommend to anyone looking to explore new things in the bedroom." -Bboutique
Reviewers are nuts about this anal toy, saying that it's the perfect size (it also comes in other larger sizes) and that its material is soft and comfortable. Plus, they say that its small and discreet enough to travel with!
Pros: easy to use; easy to clean; not too girthy; dicreet, waterproof; free of latex and phthalates
Cons: cannot be paired with silicone-base lube
Customer Review: "As a couple who is just getting into anal, this cone was a perfect size and not too intimidating." -Maude
Butt plugs are always excellent options for those looking to start experimenting with anal stimulation, and this option by Njoy ensures high-quality and longevity. Plus, it comes in three different sizes. Reviewers say that it feels great when heated up (to a body-safe temperature, of course) or when it's cooled down in the fridge.
Pros: great for temperature play; easy to clean; long shelf life, easy to grip
Cons: none found
Customer Review: "My partner had a HUGE orgasm (and a few more) first time using this plug. Been similar experiences since. The medium size seems just right for her - takes a little patience to insert but once in, it's secure. The shape is a lot of fun and she says adds immensely to the excitement." -Babeland
Best Beginner Sex Toys for Partner Play
Introducing sex toys into the bedroom with your partner is a fantastic way of spicing up your relationship or your sex life in general, but it can be a nerve-wracking experience, especially if it's a new practice for one or both of you. For detailed advice on how to broach the topic with your partner and find the best toy for you, check out our full guide on sex toys for partner play as well as our guide of vibrating panties. Otherwise, see below for some of the best and easiest to use toys to get started with, whether you're looking for a basic couples' vibrator, a remote toy, or you're interested in exploring kink.
These toys are designed for heterosexual couples who are trying to ease their way into penetrative sex. The rings come in several different, flexible sizes, and are designed to stimulate the base of the penis while simultaneously shortening the amount of shaft exposed. In this way, it makes sex more comfortable for vagina-owners who have small vaginas, are not used to penetration, or are experiencing vaginal pain. Multiple reviewers say that this toy saved their sex lives with their partners and that it made penetration less anxiety-inducing and painful.
Pros: enhances sexual safety; manages level of penetration; skin-like feel; free of latex and phthalates
Cons: none found
Customer Review: "My initial experience with Ohnuts was great and really helped my partner with the pain she was experiencing with penetration." -Ohnut
Multiple customers write that this toy was the perfect introduction to the world of kink play and partnered sex toy play. The tickler also has a short handle, so your partner can cuddle close to you while they use it.
Pros: great for foreplay; pain-free introduction to kink
Cons: some users wish the handle was longer
Customer Review: "Such a simple thing has added so much to our enjoyment of each other's bodies." -Lovehoney
"If you want to dip your toys in bondage," says Frye-Nekrasova, "I always recommend furry cuffs as a starting point." This particular pair is, by reviewers' accounts, quite plush and comfortable. Plus, they come equipped with a quick-release lever so that the person being cuffed can feel as comfortable as possible.
Pros: expert-approved; comfortable; quick-release; safe
Cons: some users find them too easy to get out of during play
Customer Review: "Very strong handcuffs but soft on the wrists." -Lovehoney
This remote-controlled vibrator is designed to be inserted into the vagina and stimulate both partners during vagina-vagina intercourse or penis-vagina intercourse via strong, customizable vibrations. Multiple reviewers rave about the quality of this toy and say it's the perfect vibrator for partners who are just beginning to introduce toys to their sexual repertoire.
Pros: great for long distance; anatomy-inclusive
Cons: can't be paired with silicone lube
Customer Review: "I really like this. It has strong vibrations but the frequency isn't too high. It has a nice smooth soft texture. It isn't too loud, in fact it is quiet enough to use in public if that's your thing. It holds a charge for a good 3 or more hours of continuous use. I had no problems pairing it with the remote, which works from at least 30 feet away. It stays in place quite well. My husband thought it was quite pleasing too. Overall it's an excellent 'marital aid' at a great price." -Amazon
For more, visit our Sexual Wellness section, where we unpack topics around consent, kink, sex toys, and more so you can have your safest and very best sexperiences yet.
Meet the Experts
Rachel Wright is a licensed psychotherapist with a Master's Degree in clinical psychology. She has experience as an educator, speaker, mental health coach, and relationship expert. She has been featured in a number of periodicals, created the virtual workshop series What You Wish You Learned in School: Sex Ed, and has held group sessions and live shows around sex positivity and education. She is currently based in New York City and works as a sex expert for sexual wellness brand Zumio
Javay Frye-Nekrasova, MEd, is a sex educator, pleasure professional, and sex expert for Lovehoney. Specializing in pleasure, communication, and sex toys, she is passionate about making comprehensive sex education accessible for all and is in the process of earning a PhD in Human Sexuality from the California Institute of Integral Studies. Her research focuses on sex work, porn, as well as the relationship between the media and society's understanding of sexuality. She also provides sex education via YouTube and social media for her digital series, In Bed With a Millennial. You can find her on Instagram here: @MillennialSexpert.
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