Writing 18 Ex

Ministry of Education
and Training
The Ontario Curriculum Exemplars

Grades 18
Writing
Samples of Student Work:
A Resource for Teachers
1999
ISBN 0-7778-8305-8
98-011
Queens Printer for Ontario, 1999
Printed on recycled paper
Contents
Introduction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Purpose . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Background . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Features
........................................................
How the Rubrics Were Developed and Applied . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
How the Samples Were Selected . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Using the Writing Samples . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Teachers and Administrators . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Parents . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Students . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
6
6
6
7
The Writing Tasks . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

The Writing Process . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Task Summaries . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
7
7
9
Student Writing Tasks and Samples

Grade 1: A Short Piece of Descriptive Writing (My Favourite Toy) . . . . . . . . .
11
Grade 2: A Short Narrative (My Adventure) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
25
Grade 3: A Letter (to a Favourite Author) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
39
Grade 4: A Humorous Fictional Story (The Day Gravity Failed)
..........
55
Grade 5: A Non-fiction Report (A Person I Admire) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
73
Grade 6: A Summary Report (Canadas Newest Territory) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
91
Grade 7: An Advertisement (for a New Food Product) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 111

Grade 8: An Opinion Piece (a Letter to the Editor)
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 131
Glossary . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 149
Une publication quivalente est disponible en franais sous le

titre suivant : Le curriculum de lOntario Copies types de la 1re la 8e anne :
criture, 1999.
This publication is available on the Ministry of Education and Trainings World
Wide Web site at http://www.edu.gov.on.ca.
The ministry grants permission to reproduce material in this publication for
non-commercial purposes.
Introduction
In 1997, the Ministry of Education and Training published new curriculum for
Ontario elementary students. The new curriculum is more specific than the previous
curriculum regarding both the knowledge and the skills that students are expected to
acquire in each grade. In the language document, The Ontario Curriculum, Grades 18:
Language, 1997, teachers are provided with the curriculum expectations for language
reading, writing, and oral and visual communication and brief descriptions of four
levels of student achievement on which to base their assessments of students work
(see page 9).
This resource booklet, The Ontario Curriculum Exemplars, Grades 1 8: Writing, 1999,
focuses on writing only and provides teachers, parents,1 and students with a selection
of representative end-of-year samples of student writing2 based on the curriculum
expectations.
In this provincial curriculum exemplars writing project, teachers and administrators
designed writing tasks and rubrics (scoring scales), field-tested them in classrooms,
suggested changes, administered the final tasks, marked the student writing holistically, and selected for inclusion in this booklet the samples that they felt represented
the four levels of writing achievement. The choice of samples reflects the professional
judgement of teachers in the project, and the samples are not intended to be used as
standards for the province. The process used for this project will serve as a model for
boards, schools, and teachers in setting writing tasks in the context of regular classroom work, developing rubrics, assessing the writing of their own students, and planning for the improvement of student work.
The samples selected for this resource illustrate each of the four levels of student
achievement in writing for students at the end of each grade and were completed by
Ontario students in the last month of each grade. The samples provided have been
reproduced as is, with no attempt to edit the students work. The writing is anonymous, with no students, teachers, or schools identified.
Purpose
This booklet has been developed to:
show the characteristics of student work at each level of achievement for each
grade;
promote greater consistency in the assessment of student work from grade to grade
and across the province;
1. The word parents is used throughout this document to stand for parent(s) and guardian(s).
2. The ministry was given permission to publish the writing samples in this document.
provide an approach to improving student learning by demonstrating the use of

clear criteria applied to student writing in response to clearly defined tasks and by
including examples of possible feedback to students in the form of Teachers Notes;
show the connections between what students are expected to learn (the expectations) and how their work can be assessed on the basis of levels of achievement;
promote the writing process outlined on page 11 of The Ontario Curriculum,
Grades 18: Language, 1997.
Teachers, parents, and students are encouraged to examine these student samples, to
think about the characteristics and descriptions of work at each level of achievement
in the individual grades, and to develop an understanding of how one level of
achievement differs from another. Teachers might also wish to discuss the strategies
they could use to enhance student learning and promote student achievement in writing.
Background
Ontario school boards were invited to provide student writing samples for the curriculum writing exemplars project. Students provided the writing samples, while
teachers and administrators participated in the following components of the project:
the field-testing of the writing tasks and the rubrics
the collection of the samples of student work at the end of the school year
the selection of the samples
the review of the draft manuscript for this booklet
The participation of Ontario teachers from all regions has been invaluable in developing the material used in this booklet. Teachers, some of them working with the
curriculum expectations and the achievement levels for the first time, contributed by:
offering their time and classrooms for field-testing the materials;
suggesting revisions to the writing tasks;
developing and revising the rubrics used to assess the writing tasks;
submitting end-of-grade samples of student writing;
participating in staff-development sessions to build expertise in student assessment;
selecting the samples used to illustrate the four levels of achievement of student
writing at each grade level.
In some jurisdictions, school councils were also involved in the project, with members participating in the staff-development sessions, the selection of the local samples,
and the review of the draft document.
Features
This booklet contains:
an overview of the student tasks and the teaching and learning strategies used to
produce the writing samples;
task-specific assessment rubrics based on the categories and descriptions from the
achievement-levels chart on page 9 of The Ontario Curriculum, Grades 1 8:
Language, 1997;
Introduction
samples of student writing for each grade level that reflect the four levels of
achievement;
teachers comments that explain why a particular achievement level was assigned to
each piece of student writing;
a glossary of assessment terms.
How the Rubrics Were Developed and Applied

In this booklet, the term rubric means a scale, in this case one that describes levels of
achievement for a particular complex task and guides the scoring of that task according to relevant criteria. To assess student achievement, the teacher chooses from different descriptions of work that are specific to each level of achievement. In this project, a rubric was used for each writing task to provide an effective means of assessing
the particular type of student performance, to allow for consistent scoring of student
performance, and to provide information to students on how to improve their work.
Although rubrics were used effectively in this project, they are only one way to assess
student achievement. Other forms of classroom assessment include anecdotal records,
checklists, tests, and teacher observation. Teachers select and use many assessment
tools to assess and evaluate student achievement.
For this project, a rubric was developed for each of the writing tasks, on the basis of
the achievement-levels chart on page 9 of The Ontario Curriculum, Grades 1 8:
Language, 1997. The achievement levels for writing focus on four categories of knowledge and skills: reasoning, communication, organization, and conventions. The brief
descriptions in the achievement-levels chart apply in a general way to all language
assessment. Each rubric contains the following components:
the categories and the achievement levels (i.e., the framework) from page 9
the relevant criteria (descriptions of student learning) from page 9
the expectations for the grade level (level 3 on the achievement-levels chart is the
provincial standard)
the required components specific to each writing task (e.g., the parts of a letter)
The rubrics for the writing tasks are similar to the writing scales used by the
Education Quality and Accountability Office (EQAO) for the Grade 3 and Grade 6
provincial assessments in that both the rubrics and the EQAO scales are based on the
curriculum expectations and the achievement levels for language in Ontario. The
rubrics differ from the EQAO scales in that they were developed to be used in the
context of classroom instruction and assessment and to be applied to the one particular form of writing identified in each grade assignment. Each student participating in
the exemplars project prepared one writing sample in response to a single task.
The Ontario Curriculum Exemplars, Grades 18: Writing, 1999
How the Samples Were Selected

After the elaborated descriptions in the rubrics had been reviewed and revised by all
the teachers participating in the writing exemplars project, they then were used to
assess the student writing samples at both the district school board level and the
provincial level. The teachers used a process that is sometimes called consensus
marking or teacher moderation:
The teachers first reviewed all of their students work samples and assigned a holistic score (from level 1 to level 4) to each sample.
The teachers then reviewed the samples a second time, looking at all four categories in the rubric to provide an analytic score (e.g., level 1 in Reasoning, level 2
in Communication).
Following these steps, the teachers assigned each sample an overall level based on
both the holistic score and the analytic score, with reference to specific criteria
requirements that had been met in the student sample.
At the district school board level, groups of three or four other teachers for each
grade level then reviewed the student work until they were able to reach consensus
on the assigned level. This was done to ensure that the work being selected clearly
illustrated that level of performance.
All the writing samples were submitted to a provincial selection team of teachers,
which chose the samples for each level of each grade. The comments of the selection team are included in this publication so that teachers, parents, and students
will be able to see how a rubric for a particular writing task has been applied to the
samples of student writing.
The following should be noted:
Two samples of student writing have been provided at each of the four achievement
levels. The use of two samples is intended to show that the characteristics of a level
can be exemplified in different ways.
The majority of student writing samples in this booklet were selected to show a
level of achievement that was consistent in the four categories (reasoning, communication, organization, and conventions). In classrooms, student achievement may
vary across categories.
The students effort was not assessed, since this is evaluated separately by teachers as
part of the learning skills component in the Provincial Report Card, Grades 18.
Student samples that were assessed using the rubrics and judged to be below grade
level were not included in this booklet.
Each of the sample tasks reflects only one possible form of student writing (e.g., a
letter). Students will practise many other kinds of writing during the school year.
Introduction
Using the Writing Samples

Teachers and Administrators
The samples of student writing included in this booklet will help teachers and administrators by:
enabling them to help students improve their achievement in writing by using the
student writing samples and the criteria for assessment;
providing a basis for conversations among colleagues, parents, and students about
the assessment and evaluation of student achievement in writing;
facilitating communication with parents regarding the learning expectations and
levels of achievement at each grade level;
promoting fair, consistent, and objective assessment of student writing within and
across grade levels.
Teachers may choose to:
use the teaching/learning activities outlined in the writing tasks;
adapt the writing tasks and rubrics to design comparable writing tasks;
compare copies of their students work with the samples in this booklet;
develop rubrics with colleagues and students;
share student work with colleagues for consensus marking;
partner with other schools to design tasks and rubrics, and to select samples for
other writing tasks and other subject areas.
Administrators may choose to:
encourage and facilitate teacher collaboration regarding standards and assessment;
facilitate sessions for parents and school councils on this booklet;
participate in future exemplars projects within their district school boards or on
behalf of the Ministry of Education and Training.
Parents
The writing tasks in this booklet exemplify a range of meaningful and relevant learning activities that are representative of tasks related to the curriculum in Grades 18.
In addition, this booklet invites the involvement and support of parents in the writing
process, as they work with their children to improve the childrens achievement in
writing. Parents may use the student writing samples and rubrics as:
models to help monitor their childrens progress from level to level and from grade
to grade;
a basis for communication with teachers about their childrens achievement;
a source of information to help their children improve their achievement;
models to illustrate the application of the levels of achievement;
a resource to help them understand their childrens report cards.
Students
Students write every day, and written communication is a part of learning in all curriculum areas. Student performance improves when students are given clear expectations for learning, clear criteria for assessment, and immediate and helpful feedback.
The rubrics in this booklet will provide specific criteria that indicate achievement
from level to level and from grade to grade. Students performance improves as students are encouraged to take responsibility for their own achievement and to reflect
on their own progress and next steps.
It is anticipated that this booklet will help students in the following ways:
Students can use the samples and rubrics as models.
The writing tasks and the samples will help clarify the curriculum expectations for
learning.
The rubrics and the comments of the teacher selection teams will help clarify the
assessment criteria.
Students awareness of the tasks and rubrics will help them to communicate more
effectively about their achievement with their teachers and parents, and to ask
relevant questions about their own progress.
Students can use the criteria and the student samples of the highest achievement
levels to design next steps to improve their writing.
The instructions for the writing tasks will help students apply the writing process
to their own writing.
The Writing Tasks

At each grade level, students engaged in the writing samples project were given a
specific writing task to be completed in class, using the writing process described
on page 11 of the Ontario Curriculum, Grades 1 8: Language, 1997. The chart on
pages 78 of this booklet summarizes the task at each grade level, makes reference
to the curriculum expectations for the grade, and paraphrases the level 3 descriptions
from the rubric used to assess the student writing for the grade.
The Writing Process
This booklet has been designed to promote consistency in both the assessment of student writing and the implementation of the various stages of the writing process. The
samples are students final copies and reflect the last stage of the writing process,
rather than first attempts (see pages 6 and 11 of The Ontario Curriculum, Grades 18:
Language, 1997 ). The writing process includes these phases: generating ideas, planning the writing, producing a draft, revising and editing the draft, and producing a
final copy. Each phase may be repeated one or more times as students strive to communicate their ideas and information.
When engaged in the writing tasks, students had access to resources that would typically be available in Ontario classrooms, including computers, dictionaries, thesauruses, visual organizers, and peer editors. As in any classroom, students completed
the writing tasks at different rates of speed and showed a range of proficiency and
originality.
Introduction
Although students approached the writing tasks with varying degrees of independence, they produced the writing samples in this booklet without adult assistance in
the writing, revising, or editing of the final product. (In Grades 1 and 2, the curriculum
expectations indicate that students revise and edit their writing with the assistance of
the teacher. In this project, therefore, Grade 1 and 2 teachers used a whole-class
editing process.)
Task Summaries
Writing Task
Grade 1
Write about a favourite toy,
using a planning sheet to
record ideas.
Curriculum Expectations
to produce a short piece of
writing
to organize ideas to convey a
clear message
Level 3 Descriptions
Reasoning: The writing is on topic.
Communication: The description in the
story is clear.
Organization: Common ideas are grouped
together.
Conventions: Grammar, spelling, punctuation, and visual presentation are accurate
and appropriate.
Grade 2
Write a story, using a story
planner to sequence events.
to produce a short narrative

to organize ideas in a logical
sequence
Reasoning: The story makes sense and the

ideas are connected to the story line.
Communication: There is clear evidence of
the writers voice recounting the adventure.
Organization: The story has a beginning, a
middle, and an end.
and appropriate.
Grade 3
Write a friendly letter intended
for a specific audience, using a
visual organizer.
Grade 4
Write a humourous story three
paragraphs in length, using a
story map and a thesaurus.
to communicate ideas for a

specific purpose and to a
specific audience
to organize information to
show a main idea and related
details
to organize and develop

ideas using paragraphs to
tell a story
to choose the words that are
most effective for the writing
purpose
to revise and edit the writing
Reasoning: The ideas connect to the main

topic and are supported by sufficient detail.
Communication: The purpose and the audience for the letter are clear.
Organization: The format of a letter is used.
and appropriate.
Reasoning: The ideas are developed and are
connected to the story line.
Communication: The story engages the
reader.
Organization: The story has a beginning, a
middle, and a logical end.
and appropriate.
Introduction
Writing Task
Grade 5
Write a non-fiction
report, expanding information from jot notes on
a planning web and a
report planner.
Curriculum Expectations
Level 3 Descriptions
to organize information to convey a

central idea, using well-developed
paragraphs
Reasoning: The report uses developed

ideas and information from personal
knowledge and other sources.
to use writing to summarize

information
Communication: Accurate details help

the reader understand the topic.
Organization: Development is logical,
with paragraphs linked to the main topic
and a closing that links with the opening.
Conventions: Grammar, spelling, punctuation, and visual presentation are
accurate and appropriate.
Grade 6
Write a summary of
information based on an
article, using a visual
organizer and jot notes.
to produce a summary from a

preselected piece of writing
Reasoning: The summary captures the

key messages of the text.
to organize the information to convey

a central idea, using well-linked
paragraphs
Communication: The information is

summarized in the writers own words.
Organization: The introduction, body,
and closing are clear and logically
developed.
Grade 7
Write a descriptive article
that is intended to persuade an audience.
to produce a piece of writing using

description
Reasoning: The ideas and details are

connected to the topic.
to revise and edit work, focusing on

content and elements of style
Communication: The writing persuades

and involves the reader.
to communicate ideas to a specific

audience for a purpose
Organization: A logical order supports a

central idea.
Grade 8
Write a letter expressing
an opinion or a point of
view.
to use writing to clarify and explore

issues
Reasoning: The writers opinion or point

of view is supported by relevant facts.
to organize information and ideas creatively as well as logically
Communication: The writers opinion or

point of view is clear and persuasive.
Organization: The issue is defined and
developed, and the conclusion summarizes the issue.
10
Grade 1
A Short Piece of Descriptive
Writing (My Favourite Toy)
A Short Piece of Descriptive Writing

(My Favourite Toy)
The Task
Students were asked to write a short piece of writing entitled My Favourite Toy
using a planning sheet to record their ideas. They were reminded to make sure that
their stories made sense and contained some details and information. They were also
reminded to check their spelling and punctuation before writing their final copies. (In
some individual cases, when teachers felt that students published copies would be no
better than their drafts, they were not asked to complete published copies.)
The following are the overall expectations that relate to this task:
By the end of Grade 1, students will:
communicate ideas (thoughts, feelings, experiences) for specific purposes;
organize information so that the writing conveys a clear message;
produce short pieces of writing using simple forms;
begin to revise their written work with the assistance of their teachers;
use and spell correctly the vocabulary appropriate for this grade;
use correctly the conventions specified for this grade.
During this task, students worked on the following selected expectations in specific
areas from the Grade 1 curriculum:
write simple but complete sentences;
use a period at the end of a statement;
correctly spell words identified by their teachers;
use phonics to spell unfamiliar words;
use capital letters to begin sentences and to differentiate certain words (e.g., names,
the pronoun I);
print legibly (capitals and small letters);
leave spaces between words.
12
Previous Learning Experiences

It was suggested that before attempting the task, students should have had experience
with the following:
writing sentences
revising and editing following whole-class prompts
using visual organizers (planners)
comparing their work to criteria outlined on task-specific charts like the rubrics
included in this booklet
The Process Used

Teachers selected and read aloud one or more stories about a child and his or her toy.
Using the ideas from the story or stories read, they demonstrated how to complete a
planner such as a web diagram or the following chart:
What
Where
When
Why
How
picture
key words
Teachers then used the following process:

Prewriting. Each student brought a favourite toy to school and completed a planner
about it. This was followed by class discussion, after which students were given the
opportunity to add to their planners.
Drafting. Using the planner, each student drew a picture, filled in the boxes with key
words, and drafted a short piece of writing about his or her favourite toy.
Revising. In small groups or in the class as a whole, students read their drafts for
meaning and then added, deleted, or changed words to improve their writing.
Editing. In small groups or in the class as a whole, students checked to ensure that
they had capitals at the beginning of sentences and for names, that they had periods at
the end of sentences, and that their words were spelled correctly. Note that in Grade 1
editing is done with the teachers assistance.
Grade 1: A Short Piece of Descriptive Writing
13
Publishing. Teachers decided whether students should rewrite their drafts into good
copies or whether the draft copies already represented students best efforts. Where a
students work was difficult to read, the teacher made a clear copy which was attached
to the students original.
Reflecting. Students reflected on the process they had followed by participating in a
sharing circle or through some other form of reflection used in the classroom.
Teachers then evaluated students work using the rubric reproduced on the next page.
14
Grade 1: Rubric for a Short Piece of Descriptive Writing

Categories
Level 1
Level 2
Level 3
Level 4
uses mainly simple

ideas but also some
developed ideas
uses many ideas that
are connected to the
topic
uses sufficient supporting details so
that the description
makes sense
uses developed ideas
the purpose is somewhat clear

some feeling about
the topic is expressed
the purpose is clear

and interesting
strong feeling about
there are some simple, complete sentences and some

reliance on a single
sentence stem
the sentences are

simple and complete
with some variation
in the stem used
there are different

patterns of simple,
complete sentences
groups some common ideas (includes

elements of both a
list and a story)
groups common
ideas together to tell
a story
links common ideas

(the writing flows
naturally)
uses all or almost all

of the conventions
studied
uses conventional
spelling for most
words
Reasoning
The student:
complexity of ideas
and connection to the
topic
uses very few, simple

ideas
uses some simple

ideas
uses ideas that are

not on topic
uses some ideas that

topic
uses some supporting details
number and relevance of supporting

facts and details
uses very few supporting details
Communication
In the students work:
purpose: to describe
a favourite toy
voice (feelings,
opinions, attitudes)
the purpose is
unclear
little feeling about
the topic is
expressed
there are a few simple, sometimes
incomplete sentences
and a reliance on a
single sentence stem
sentence structure
much feeling about

Organization
The students writing:
structure (grouping
of ideas)
shows little grouping

of common ideas
(resembles a random
list)
Conventions
The student:
grammar
uses a few of the conventions studied
uses some of the conventions studied
uses most of the conventions studied
spelling
shows some evidence

of spelling strategies
uses both phonetic

and conventional
spelling for familiar
words
punctuation
uses capitals and

periods randomly or
not at all
produces a visual
presentation that is
unclear (spacing,
placement, legibility)
makes some errors

in using capitals and
periods
produces a visual
basically clear
uses conventional
spelling for familiar
words and phonetic
spelling for unfamiliar words
generally uses capitals and periods
accurately
produces a clear
visual presentation
visual presentation
uses only ideas that

topic
uses many supporting
details that enhance
the description
almost always uses

capitals and periods
accurately
produces a clear
visual presentation
that enhances the
story
15
Grade 1
Level 1: Example 1
MY FAVOURITE TOY
my Favourite toy.
ball green.
I play a baseball.
it is green.
brt de .
out set.
I like.
I like to play ball.
My mom give it a toy.
Teachers Notes
Reasoning
includes only a very few simple ideas
provides very few supporting details
Communication
the purpose is unclear because of incomplete sentences
Organization
the writing resembles a list
Conventions
makes improper use of capitals and periods
gives some evidence of the use of spelling strategies
Comments
The thoughts are not complete (missing words). The ideas are repetitive and disorganized.
16
Grade 1
Level 1: Example 2
MY FAVOURITE TOY
MY favourite toy iS
a truK. I liKe to
Play With ItOutSde.
I liKe It to Play in Side.
I liKe to Play With mytrusk.
Teachers Notes
Reasoning
includes only one simple idea (where the child plays with the toy)
provides no supporting details
Communication
includes little description
uses a few simple sentences that rely mainly on a single sentence stem (I like to ...)
Organization
the writing resembles a list
Conventions
uses capitals randomly
has some spacing problems
includes both phonetic and conventional spelling
Comments
Although the student uses complete sentences and some phonetic and conventional spelling,
only one idea is presented.
17
Grade 1
Level 2: Example 1
MY FAVOURITE TOY
my Favourite ToY
My Toy is cute and she
is brown. And she has orange
antlers. Hr name is Dc
she is a moose she is
Vere Vere cute. she has
black eyes. My Toy isvere
cute.
Teachers Notes
Reasoning
includes only simple ideas connected to the topic
provides some supporting details
Communication
communicates some idea of the writers feelings
uses simple sentences with repetition of details and structure
Organization
the grouping of ideas is somewhat inconsistent
Conventions
makes some errors in the use of capitals and periods
uses both phonetic and conventional spelling
Comments
This piece contains some repetition (vere vere cute and isvere cute).
18
Grade 1
Level 2: Example 2
MY FAVOURITE TOY
mY Favourite Tay
my Toy is Special. my Toy is Strag.
my Toy is good. my Toy is bad.
me and my sister press the
buttons. my toy is blue
Teachers Notes
Reasoning
includes only simple ideas connected to the topic
Communication
uses simple sentences with most using the same sentence stem (My toy is ...)
the description is usually clear
some contradictory feelings are evident
Organization
there is some evidence of grouping in the list (good and bad)
Conventions
makes some errors in the use of capitals and periods
uses both phonetic and conventional spelling
Comments
The description uses simple ideas. There is some confusion whether the toy is good or bad.
Some errors in using capitals and periods.
19
Grade 1
Level 3: Example 1
MY FAVOURITE TOY
My favourite Toy
My favourite toy is a
Cheetah and I call him Spoty.
I always play with him
and he cant run fast. Spoty
is yellow withblack
spots.WhenIpullSpoty
back he Zooms forward.
Teachers Notes
Reasoning
expresses a complex idea (When I pull ... he zooms.)
connects many ideas to the topic
provides supporting details and a description that makes sense
Communication
includes several ideas (what the toy is, does, looks like, and what special feature it has) that
give a clear description
uses a variety of sentence types
Organization
groups ideas to tell a story
Conventions
makes accurate use of capitals and periods
uses phonetic spelling of unfamiliar words (Spoty for Spotty, cant for cant)
work is legible
Comments
The student has achieved the purpose in this to the point piece of writing. The sentence
structure links the ideas to each other.
20
Grade 1
Level 3: Example 2
MY FAVOURITE TOY
My Toy
It is a bear. I pu t iton my vanity.
I got it When I was 2yeasold.
My brother ceap puling it a prt
But I trie to notlet him get it. I pu t it in.
a Special Spot. I play with it When
I play bearS. I play with it cafoly.
Teachers Notes
Reasoning
develops some ideas using the conjunctions but and when
includes many ideas that are connected to the topic
provides supporting details and a description that makes sense
Communication
describes the toy clearly, indicating its importance by words such as put it in a special spot
and carefully
uses both simple and complete sentences
Organization
groups common ideas to tell a story
includes complex sentences that use the conjunctions but and when
Conventions
generally uses capitals and periods accurately
uses phonetic spelling for unfamiliar words (ceap for keep or kept,cafoly for carefully, puling for pulling, trie for try)
Comments
This piece contains mostly simple ideas but includes a fair amount of supporting detail.
21
Grade 1
Level 4: Example 1
MY FAVOURITE TOY
Piglet
Once I was walking in a store with
my dad and I saw a cuddly toy.
when I took him home I named him
Piglet. I squeeze him and he
sniffles. He is a winne the pooh pig.
He has pink arms and pink legs and
pink ears. It is my favourite toy
because it sniffles.
Teachers Notes
Reasoning
develops ideas using two related thoughts in several sentences
links the ideas consistently to the topic
enhances the description by providing many supporting details
Communication
clearly communicates feelings
uses a good choice of words (i.e., cuddly, colour words, sniffles), which makes the
description clear and interesting
uses different patterns of simple, complete sentences
Organization
the writing flows naturally from the purchase of the toy to the explanation of why it became
the favourite
Conventions
makes no spelling errors with familiar words
uses capitals for proper nouns
has periods at the end of all sentences
has neat presentation
Comments
The writing uses ideas and supporting details that all relate to the topic. The writing is organized to flow naturally. The writing uses simple, compound, and complex sentences.
22
Grade 1
Level 4: Example 2
MY FAVOURITE TOY
Flash
My favourite toy is a shiny red car
and it is not a remote control car.
My brother broke the back of the
red car but it is Still My fovourite
toy. I Play with itdown stairsand
when I Push The car it runs fast.
And I like it because itis shiny.
Teachers Notes
Reasoning
uses two related thoughts in several sentences to develop ideas
consistently links ideas to topic
the description is enhanced by many supporting details
Communication
the description is clear and interesting
the writer clearly communicates his feelings (i.e., still his favourite toy even after his brother
broke it)
uses different patterns of simple, complete sentences
Organization
the writing flows naturally
Conventions
includes accurate spelling
uses capitals and periods
writing is legible and neat
Comments
The student uses two or more related ideas in the same sentence (more than once). The style
used is very expressive.
23
Grade 2
A Short Narrative
(My Adventure)
A Short Narrative (My Adventure)

The Task
Students were asked to write a story entitled My Adventure, making sure that their
story had a beginning, middle, and ending and that it made sense. Students were
asked to check their work for errors in spelling, grammar, and punctuation and to
correct their errors in their final copies. (In some individual cases, when teachers felt
that students published copies would be no better than their drafts, they were not
asked to complete published copies.)
communicate ideas (thoughts, feelings, experiences) for specific purposes;
organize ideas in a logical sequence;
begin to write more elaborate sentences by using adjectives and adverbs;
produce short pieces of writing using simple forms;
revise and edit their written work, focusing on specific features;
proofread and correct their final drafts;
use connecting words to link simple sentences;
use a variety of sentence types;
begin to use resources (e.g., dictionaries, word lists, computers) to check the
spelling of unfamiliar words;
use a comma correctly to separate items in a list, in dates, and in addresses;
use adjectives appropriately for description;
use capital letters for proper nouns;
print legibly;
use margins and spacing appropriately.
26

with the following:
process writing
from literature sources such as stories shared in class, developing class or personal
lists of descriptive words and words that denote, for example, sequence in time
(e.g., first, then, next, later, finally)
The Process Used

Teachers used the following process:
Prewriting, Part 1. With the class, each teacher recalled a class adventure (e.g., a field
trip, a class walk, a special-event day), showed a video, or read a story that illustrated
the passage of time. The teacher then demonstrated how to use a planner such as one
of the following to recount the sequence of events.
Planner #1. Students use separate cards, each containing a picture and a few words,
for each stage of an event. They share their ideas and then sequence the cards. For
example, for a birthday party:
came to
house
unwrapped
presents
played
games
had birthday
cake
went home
Planner #2. Students place each stage of an event on a web, using one bubble for each
stage. They then number the bubbles in the appropriate sequence. For example:
3
played
games
1
came
to house
unwrapped
presents
birthday
party
4
had birthday
cake
went
home
The sample planners were posted for reference.
Grade 2: A Short Narrative
27
Prewriting, Part 2. Students used the think-pair-share strategy to recall adventures

they had had (e.g., trips, play days at school, sports events, birthday parties, going to a
new school, sleepovers, hikes, visits to relatives). They shared these experiences, and
teachers recorded them on webs, which were later posted for reference.
Drafting. Each student drafted a short piece of writing based on his or her adventure,
using the planner as a guide.
Revising. In small groups or in the class as a whole, students read their drafts first for
sense, then to ensure that they had used the correct sequence (e.g., Will the reader
know what happened first? Were words included to help the reader know the
sequence?), and finally to determine whether they should add, delete, or change any
descriptive words (e.g., Do the words help the reader form a mental picture?).
Editing. In small groups or in the class as a whole, students checked to ensure that
they had used capitals appropriately at the beginning of sentences, for names, and for
their titles; that they had periods or question or exclamation marks at the ends of
their sentences; that they had used commas to separate series of words; and that their
words were spelled correctly.
Publishing. Teachers decided whether students should rewrite their drafts into good
copies or whether the draft copies already represented students best efforts.
Reflecting. Students reflected on the process they had used by completing a reflection
sheet provided in the student package or by participating in an activity such as a
sharing circle in which each student has to complete a sentence stem orally (e.g.,
The thing I liked best about my writing was or My favourite sentence in my
story was or It was important to me because ).
28
Grade 2: Rubric for a Short Narrative

Categories
Level 1
Reasoning
The student:
complexity of ideas
story line
uses very few simple

ideas that are not
connected to the
story line

facts and details
Level 2
Level 3
Level 4
uses simple ideas

that are connected to
the story line
uses well-developed,
interesting ideas that
advance the story line
uses some supporting details, but not

enough to clarify the
point of the story

that are usually connected to the story
line
uses sufficient supporting details to
clarify the point of
the story
the adventure develops in an engaging

way
the writers voice is
clear and sustains
the readers interest
all or almost all the
descriptive words are
used effectively
a variety of connecting words are used to
link sentences
effectively
Communication
purpose: to relate a
true adventure (narrative)
voice (feelings, opinions, and attitudes)
the adventure is not

clear
the adventure can be

discerned
the adventure unfolds

clearly

not evident
word use and

vocabulary
uses few descriptive

words effectively
there is some evidence of the writers

voice
uses some descriptive words effectively
sentence structure
connecting words are

not used
there is clear evidence of the writers

voice
uses many descriptive words
effectively
some connecting
words are used to
link simple sentences
Organization
overall structure
(beginning, middle,
end, links)
shows little evidence

of a beginning, a middle, and an end
includes few events
or ideas that are
organized
sequentially
few connecting words

(with little variation)
are used to link
simple sentences
shows some evidence

includes some events
or ideas that are
organized
sequentially
has a beginning, a
middle, and an end
has a clear beginning, middle, and end
includes events or
ideas organized in a
logical sequence
includes events or
ideas organized logically and effectively
correctly uses all or

almost all of the conventions studied
spells most words
accurately, but may
make occasional
errors with more difficult words
makes almost no
errors
produces a clear
visual presentation
that enhances the
narrative
Conventions
The student:
grammar
correctly uses very

few of the conventions studied
shows some evidence
of spelling strategies
correctly uses some

of the conventions
studied
uses phonetic and
conventional spelling
for familiar words
correctly uses most

of the conventions
studied
uses phonetic
spelling only for more
difficult words
punctuation
makes many errors
makes some errors
makes few errors
visual presentation
produces a visual
unclear (e.g., spacing, legibility)
produces a visual
basically clear
produces a clear
visual presentation
spelling
uses supporting
details that clarify
and enhance the
story
29
Grade 2
Level 1: Example 1
MY ADVENTURE
under the Bluewter bridge

My Mom and Dad and I Went
unde the blue wter brdige
to get Some fris.
And to get Some hot dogS.
Then we went to my nanaS houses.
Then we went to my houseS.
Then we went to my grahma houSeS.
Teachers Notes
Reasoning
includes only a few simple, unrelated ideas
provides no supporting details
Communication
uses no descriptive words
a sense of adventure is not apparent
there is no evidence of the writers feelings
Organization
there is little evidence of a middle or end
includes only a few events
Conventions
makes inappropriate use of visual presentation (sentence spacing)
uses the plural form of words incorrectly
includes an incomplete sentence
misuses capital letters (e.g., proper nouns, verbs)
Comments
There is an attempt to use spelling strategies.
30
Grade 2
Level 1: Example 2
MY ADVENTURE
Florida
When I went to Florida I heped My
Mom geT the pool was cold. I was
Blue. and then Nigl Jumped off the
diving brd. aftr Nigel got out of the
water we went on the arrplane.
people were siinging airplane was
fun.
Teachers Notes
Reasoning
provides few supporting details related to the story
Communication
uses few descriptions or connecting words
the writers feelings are not evident
Organization
there is little evidence of a beginning, a middle, and an end
the sequence of the trip is not apparent (only one event)
Conventions
misuses capital letters
omits words and punctuation
Comments
The student used word endings correctly and has some of the visual presentation elements.
The overall organization and lack of detail make it a level 1 story.
31
Grade 2
Level 2: Example 1
MY ADVENTURE
Disney World
I was going to Disney World and I
was flying in a plane. When I got
there I saw Mickey Mouse. And
I saw Donald Duck and goofy. When
I saw them I asked for the
atagraphed. I had lunch at a
restaurant and then I went on rides
with my Dad andI was crying
because it was to Fast then we got
off and went in to Mickeys Castle
we saw everything in the Castle
andwe went home.
Teachers Notes
Reasoning
includes simple ideas that are connected to the story line
provides some details
Communication
the purpose is somewhat evident
there is some evidence of voice (e.g., the writer was scared and started crying)
uses some connecting words (and, then) to join sentences
Organization
the story is sequential (shows evidence of a beginning, a middle, and an end)
Conventions
uses capitals for proper nouns (except for Goofy)
there is good visual presentation
has few spelling errors; uses phonetic spelling for an unfamiliar and more difficult word
Comments
The writer seems to lose sight of structure as the story progresses. A very weak ending!
32
Grade 2
Level 2: Example 2
MY ADVENTURE
My Adventure
I went in the forest. I got lots of
masceto bights. I have lots of fun.
I saw a dead bird. I walked throw
mud. I took 4pictures. I like the
forest. I took my bicke or I walked.
Some times it is dark, but
sometimes it is Sunny. The end
Teachers Notes
Reasoning
includes simple ideas that are connected to the story line
provides some supporting details, but not enough to clarify the point of the story
Communication
there is some evidence of the writers voice
has little variation in wording
uses some descriptive words
uses one connecting word (but)
Organization
there is some evidence of a beginning, a middle, and an end, but some sentences are placed
inappropriately
Conventions
attempts to use phonetic spelling (masceto bights for mosquito bites and bicke for
bike)
uses capitals and periods appropriately with few errors
Comments
Uses some simple ideas that could be developed further. Use of more than a single stem
(I went, I took) needs to be encouraged.
33
Grade 2
Level 3: Example 1
MY ADVENTURE
The Pinery
We were driving for fordy minutes to the
Pinery. We were finealy there. it smeld like
pine-netus. The told us the number and it was
121 and thats my libary number. We got our
tents up but we had to put up anuther tent
because we brorod it from our firends. Nest
we went walking around the park but it was
long. On the way I found a frish-bee on the
way. Then we got back and we bicked to the
washroom we brushed my teeth. The nest
morning got up we went to a play it was
tonight we wached it was awsone. It was the
last day I was sad we packed up our stuff and.
That was the end of that trip.
Teachers Notes
Reasoning
provides several details to describe the
adventure
Communication
uses different connecting words to link simple
sentences
the adventure unfolds clearly with several
descriptive words
Organization
the organization of events is done appropriately with a beginning, a middle, and an end
Conventions
uses many of the conventions accurately
phonetic spelling is used for more difficult
words
Comments
There is a good flow to the story. There are frequent spelling errors, although there were good
attempts made to use phonetic spelling for unfamiliar words (e.g., pine-netus for pine needles,
brorod for borrowed).
34
Grade 2
Level 3: Example 2
MY ADVENTURE
Chocolate Pudding
Once when I was little My mom my
sister and I were making chocolate
pudding my mom and my sister left
the kitchen I was going to but I did
not. There was a spoon in the bowl
and a chair infront of the cownter I
climed up the chair and I pulled the
spoon. The bowl fell to the floor. I
climed down and ate most of it right
off the floor and when I was little I
never got to make pudding again!
Teachers Notes
Reasoning
the ideas presented support and clarify the development of the story
Communication
the story clearly describes an adventure
there is evidence of the writers perspective
Organization
the story has a beginning, a middle, and an end
Conventions
uses many conventions accurately and shows evidence of the use of phonetic spelling
only for a more difficult word (cownter for counter)
Comments
This is a simple, logically developed story.
35
Grade 2
Level 4: Example 1
MY ADVENTURE
My Adventure of Moving!
(its freaky!)
One day my dad took me & Reid to
our grandmas & grandpas house.
(While my mom & dad moved the
stuff from one house to another.)
Our uncles helped my mom & dad.
(I bet the boxes were heavey.) My
mom came & picked us up the next
day. When we got home our dog
Rosie was waiting on our porch.
I said hi Rosie do you like our new
house? Rosie barked, (that means
yes.) When I went to bed I felt
scared I told my mom she said that
feeling will go away soon. In the
morning I felt much better. I said
I think Im getting used to this.
The End
36
Teachers Notes
Reasoning
includes many well-developed ideas
provides many supporting details
Communication
the writers voice is evident (through the use of asides and parentheses)
not an adventure in terms of excitement level, but the writers experience is expressed
clearly
Organization
has a beginning, a middle, and a strong end
Conventions
uses question marks correctly
attempts quotations
has a developed sense of when to use capitals appropriately (my mom & dad)
does not always use periods at the end of sentences
Comments
The well-developed story and the strong voice make this a good example of level 4 writing for
Grade 2. The writer uses conventions well!
37
Grade 2
Level 4: Example 2
MY ADVENTURE
The Trip!
Today my class went on a bus ride to Black
Creek Pioneer Village. When we got to school
we could go right inside.
We had to have a washroom brack.
Then we got on the bus.
We got onto the 401.
Then we got stack in traffic so insted of geting
there at 10:00 like we planed it took longer.
Finally we got to Black Creek. We went on a
tour. After that my group went to the school.
We saw the kids singing. Then we went to the
Blacksmiths. We saw horseshoes and I learned
the Blacksmith made the money for the
Pioneer.Then we took the bus back to school.
I liked Black Creek Pioneer Village. I would
like to go back
Teachers Notes
Reasoning
includes supporting details that enhance the
story (traffic jam, role of blacksmith)
Communication
writer has a clear voice in which feelings are
expressed (wants to go back)
uses varied sentence structure
uses a variety of connecting words effectively
Organization
the writing has a beginning, a middle, and a
strong ending
Conventions
most words are spelled correctly; there is a
phonetic approach to some words (geting for
getting, insted for instead)
attempts hyphenation
uses punctuation appropriately for the most
part
the visual presentation helps the reader
Comments
The story is well developed through the use of
supporting details, a good choice of linking vocabulary, and the presence of the authors voice,
which is apparent in the ending.
38
Grade 3
A Letter (to a Favourite Author)
A Letter (to a Favourite Author)

The Task
Students were asked to write a friendly letter to an author of one of their favourite
books, using webs to develop their thoughts, feelings, opinions, and experiences for
the content of their letters. They were reminded to check their work for errors in
spelling, grammar, and punctuation, while working with partners.
communicate ideas and information for specific purposes and to specific
audiences;
write materials that show a growing ability to express their points of view and to
reflect on their own experiences;
organize information into short paragraphs that contain a main idea and related
details;
begin to use compound sentences and sentences of varying length;
revise and edit their work, using feedback from the teacher and their peers;
proofread and correct their final drafts;
use irregular plurals correctly;
use the apostrophe in common contractions;
use exclamation marks appropriately;
use a variety of sources (e.g., dictionaries, word lists, computers) to check the
spelling of unfamiliar words;
choose words that are most appropriate for their purposes;
select and correctly use the format suited to their purpose for writing (e.g., letters).
40

with the following:
being read to
reading independently
reading and writing letters
using a structure for peer revision and editing
The Process Used

Prewriting, Part A. Teachers read or reread a book with students and then discussed it
with the class. Students then brainstormed questions they might ask the author as
preparation for writing a letter to him or her. Teachers used web diagrams (or another
planner) to record the content that might be included in the letter. Students then
chose their favourite authors and individually repeated the brainstorming/web
activity.
Authors
books
we have
read
What we like
about the
writing
Authors
Name
Questions
we
have
Advice about
our writing
Prewriting, Part B. Teachers used a shared-writing activity to compose a letter to an

author using the web diagram (or other planner) completed with the class in Part A.
They then used a think-aloud activity to help students with the letter format, purpose,
and audience. The sample letter was posted for reference.
Grade 3: A Letter
41
Prewriting, Part C. Teachers reviewed with students the criteria for an effective letter,
such as the following, which were posted for reference:
Ideas are clear and easy to understand.
The main ideas and details go together.
The purpose for the letter is clear. (You can tell why the letter was written.)
The letter has a beginning, a middle, and an end.
The sentences are different lengths.
The letter is organized in paragraph form.
The sentences have correct punctuation (e.g., periods, question marks, commas).
Capitals are used correctly.
The spelling is correct.
Drafting. Each student drafted a letter to his or her favourite author, using a web or
other planner as a guide.
Revising. Teachers reviewed with their students the revision checklist provided in the
student packages, and then students worked in small groups or in the class as a whole
to reread their drafts and make any necessary changes.
Editing. Either working with partners or as a class with the teachers help, students
made further changes to their work using an editing checklist such as the one provided in the student package (or any similar alternative).
Publishing. Students wrote their final copies, checking them carefully to ensure that
they represented their best work.
Reflecting. Students reflected on the process they had used by completing the reflection sheets provided in the student package or by participating in an activity such as a
sharing circle using a sentence stem for each student to complete orally (e.g., The
thing I liked best about my letter was or The author I wrote to was. I chose
him or her because. When [authors name] writes back, I hope he or she says ).
42
Grade 3: Rubric for a Letter (to a Favourite Author)

Categories
Level 1
Reasoning
The student:
complexity of ideas
topic
uses only a few simple ideas that are not

connected to the
topic

facts and details
Level 2
Level 3
Level 4
uses simple ideas

that are sometimes
connected to the
topic
uses some supporting details, but not
enough to clarify the
points being made

that are usually connected to the topic
uses well-developed
ideas that are all connected to the topic

clarify the points
being made
uses many supporting details that

enhance the letter

and effectively presented
clear, providing a
sense of who the
writer is and making
the letter seem
genuine
the extensive vocabulary is effective and
engaging
the style is varied
with a good mix of
different kinds of
sentences
Communication
purpose: to write a
letter to an author
the purpose of the

letter is unclear
voice (feelings, opinions, attitudes)

not evident
there is some
evidence of the
writers voice

clearly evident
word use and

vocabulary
the vocabulary is very

limited
there is some variety

in the vocabulary
there is great variety

in the vocabulary
sentence variety and

literary devices
the same sentence

stem is used repetitively

in the sentences used
but also some
repetition
several kinds of sentences are used
Organization
overall structure
(beginning, middle,
end)
paragraph structure
shows little evidence

there is no evidence
of paragraphs (the
sentences are not
related)
shows some evidence

some attempt has
been made to structure paragraphs (the
sentences are somewhat related)
has a beginning, a
middle, and an end
has a clear beginning, middle, and end
there are short paragraphs, each containing a main idea and

related details
the main idea and

supporting details of
each paragraph are
clear, and the paragraphs are linked to
each other
Conventions
The student:
grammar, spelling,
punctuation
seldom uses the

conventions studied
correctly
makes frequent
errors in spelling
includes only the

body of the letter
correctly uses most

of the conventions
studied
shows increased
accuracy in spelling
by using spelling
strategies (e.g., phonics, rules, sources)
includes most components of a letter
correctly uses all or

almost all of the conventions studied
makes almost no
errors in spelling
visual presentation
(format of a friendly
letter: date, salutation, body, closing)
correctly uses some

of the conventions
studied
uses conventional
spellings for familiar
words and some phonetic spelling for
more difficult words
includes some components of a letter
uses a standard letter format with visual

appeal
Grade 3: A Letter
43
Grade 3
Level 1: Example 1
A LETTER TO A FAVOURITE AUTHOR
Dear R.L. Stine

I like your books becuas there nete
and scary I read a lot of your books
there sometimes funny!
I have a lot of your books
My favrate book is war wolf of fever
swap and moster blod nober 1
Teachers Notes
Reasoning
includes only a few simple ideas
provides few supporting details
Communication
the purpose of letter is unclear
the vocabulary is very limited
the same sentence stem is used repetitively
Organization
the sentences are a list of separate ideas
there is no evidence of paragraphs (sentences are not related)
Conventions
uses few of the conventions studied correctly
makes frequent spelling errors
Comments
Has some ideas but they are not clearly outlined.
44
Grade 3
Level 1: Example 2
Dear, Ms. COSSi

I red your story Gus the Bus and
it was great. I really liked when
Gus raced the fire truck. Have
you writen any other Book
Well Ill rite again Sincerly
Teachers Notes
Reasoning
Communication
the purpose is somewhat clear (level 2 achievement)
there is some evidence of the writers voice (level 2 achievement)
the vocabulary is very limited
the same sentence stem is used repetitively (half the sentences begin with I)
Organization
there is no evidence of paragraphs
Conventions
uses few of the conventions studied correctly
makes frequent spelling errors
Comments
This has all the components of a letter, but the format is not accurate.
Grade 3: A Letter
45
Grade 3
Level 2: Example 1
Dear R.L. Stine,

Ive read Night In Werewolf
Woods, The Haunted MaskII and
the Barking Ghost. Ive written
some stories but not as long as
yours.
Where did your ideas come
from? Which book did you write
first?
Why did you write your initails
in the book? I really like your books
because they give me Goose bumps.
Sincerely,
Teachers Notes
Reasoning
includes simple ideas that are connected to the topic
Communication
the purpose is clear (level 3 achievement)
there is some variety in the vocabulary
there is some variety of sentences used, with some repetition
Organization
the letter has some sense of a beginning, a middle, and an end
paragraph structure is attempted
Conventions
correctly uses some of the conventions studied
shows increased accuracy in spelling through the use of spelling strategies
(level 3 achievement)
includes some components of a letter
Comments
There are no spelling errors; however, the vocabulary is limited. The last sentence is clever.
46
Grade 3
Level 2: Example 2
1998 06 03
St. Meray School
35 Fox Street
Detroit, Ontario
ZOO N0P
Dear Mercer Mayer,
Your book just go to bed is my favourite book. My second favourite book is Just Me and
My Babysitter.
How did you come up with the idea of the book Just Go to Bed and Me and My
Babysitter? How many books have you made Mercer Mayer? Did you ever have kids? What is
the first book in the world you have made? Are you married Mercer Mayer?
I hope you can answer all of my questions by NOW.
FROM,
Teachers Notes
Reasoning
includes simple ideas that are connected to the topic
Communication
the vocabulary is very limited (level 1 achievement)
there is some variety of sentences used, with some repetition
Organization
the letter has some sense of a beginning, a middle, and an end
paragraph structure is attempted
content in paragraph switches topics
Conventions
uses some of the conventions studied correctly
uses conventional spelling for familiar words
includes all components of a letter, but with inconsistent punctuation (level 3 achievement)
Comments
There is evidence of the writers curiosity in posing questions to the author. Organization in two
paragraphs shows sense of structure.
Grade 3: A Letter
47
Grade 3
Level 3: Example 1
Dear Mr. Hoban

Hi!, how are you? Im fine, Ive
always wanted to be a story writer.
Where do writers get there ideas?
Do you enjoy what you do for
a living? When I write stories there
always almost imaganary.
My favourite part of the story
Bread And Jam For Frances was
when she sang a song to her
poached egg, then she looked down
and she didnt have one. But who
did the illustrations, did you help?
I have also read some of your
other books to like Best Friends For
Frances and some I cant remember
the names of. Please right back.
Sincerly,
Teachers Notes
Reasoning
includes developed ideas, with most connected to the topic
provides sufficient supporting details
Communication
the voice gives a sense of who the writer is, which makes the letter seem genuine
the vocabulary used is appropriate
Organization
the letter has a beginning, a middle, and an end
there are short paragraphs with a main idea and related details
Conventions
uses most of the conventions studied correctly
shows increased accuracy in spelling through the use of spelling strategies (e.g., phonics,
rules, sources)
includes all components of a letter
Comments
This is a well-presented, friendly letter with clear organization of thought in three paragraphs.
48
Grade 3
Level 3: Example 2
Dear Robert Munsch,

I have almost all your books and I
think they are all wonderful. I think
your best book was Stephanies
ponytail
What was the first book you
wrote? Do you enjoy being an author?
I think you do because all your stories
are good. What story are you working
on now?
I hope you write bake soon. May I
have a copy of all your stories because
I want read the stories that I have
not seen or read yet Thak you very
much.
Your friend,
Grade 3: A Letter
49
Teachers Notes
Reasoning
includes developed ideas, with most connected to the topic
provides sufficient supporting details
Communication
the voice gives a sense of who the writer is, which makes the letter seem genuine
the vocabulary used is appropriate
Organization
the letter has a beginning, a middle, and an end
there are short paragraphs with a main idea and related details
Conventions
shows increased accuracy in spelling by using spelling strategies
includes all the components of a letter
Comments
This is a friendly letter from someone who is definitely a Robert Munsch fan.
50
Grade 3
Level 4: Example 1
Dear Mrs M. Thornton Jones

I wrote to you because you are
my favourite author. I enjoy your
stories very much like the series of
the adventure of the BAILEY
SCHOOL KIDS! I like the story
named Triplet Trouble and the pizza
party. My favourite part is when
Mr.Parker tells the class theyhave to
earn light balls to have a pizza party.
Im starting a story called
CHILDREN DONT TEACH
PARENTS. I need an idea for the
end of my story. Its about 3 girls
who teach their parents and their
parents want their kids to go to
school to learn. Can you write back
with an idea for the end please?
My parents like my writing
stories. Did your parents agree
when you told them you wanted to
be an author? My editor doesnt
change my story does yours? I
wanted to be an author because
when I get older and and have kids
Ill tell them stories. Why did you
become a author? Write back soon.
Sincerly,
Grade 3: A Letter
51
Teachers Notes
Reasoning
includes well-developed ideas, all connected to the topic
provides many supporting details that enhance the letter
Communication
the purpose is clear and effectively presented
feelings are expressed through effective word selection
the vocabulary used is effective and engaging
the style is varied with a good mix of different kinds of sentences
Organization
the letter has a clear beginning, a middle, and an end
the main idea and related supporting details of each paragraph are clear
Conventions
correctly uses all or most of the conventions studied
makes almost no errors in spelling
Comments
The student created a visually appealing letter that presents well-supported ideas.
52
Grade 3
Level 4: Example 2
Dear Roal Dahl,

My name is [students name]. I am
8 years old and my birthday is in
3 weeks! I have a sister, a mom, a dad,
and a dog named Hudson. I go to
school a [school name] and my sister
goes to[school name]. They are both
great schools!
I have read all your stories and they
are all great! But the reason I like them
so much is that you always make
children the winners. But besides your
stories you are my favorite author. Ill
tell you why your my favorite. Its
because you write great stories and
make up words!
But now I would like to ask you
some questions. Why did you end the
witches that way? Was it that you were
going to make a 2nd part? Why didnt
you name the boy? As a child did write
stories or did you start now? It was
great talking to you.
Sincerely,
Teachers Notes
Reasoning
includes well-developed ideas that are all connected to the topic
provides many supporting details that enhance the letter
Communication
the purpose is clear and effectively presented
feelings are expressed through effective word selection
the vocabulary used is effective and engaging
the style is varied with a good mix of different kinds of sentences
Organization
the letter has a clear beginning, a middle, and an end
the main idea and related details of each paragraph are clear
Conventions
uses all or almost all of the conventions studied correctly
make almost no errors in spelling
uses a standard letter format with visual appeal
Comments
The writer asks thoughtful questions and makes interesting observations. As a Roald Dahl fan
I too like it when he makes up words. What fun!
Grade 3: A Letter
53
Grade 4
A Humorous Fictional Story
(The Day Gravity Failed)
A Humorous Fictional Story

(The Day Gravity Failed)
The Task
Students were asked to write a humorous fictional story describing a specific event
that could have occurred in their lives on a day that gravity failed. They were asked to
use a story map to develop their ideas and to suggest a solution to the challenges
faced on that day. They were reminded to work with peer editors to check each others
work for errors in spelling, grammar, and punctuation.
communicate ideas and information for a variety of purposes and to specific
audiences;
organize and develop ideas using paragraphs (e.g., to tell a story);
use simple and compound sentences and vary their sentence structure;
produce pieces of writing using a variety of specific forms (e.g., a humorous story);
revise and edit their work, using feedback from the teacher and their peers;
proofread and correct their final drafts, focusing on grammar, punctuation, and
spelling;
use correctly the conventions (e.g., spelling, grammar, punctuation) specified for
this grade.
use a variety of sentence types correctly and appropriately (e.g., questions,
exclamations);
choose words that are most effective for their purpose (e.g., to describe vividly);
use a dictionary and a thesaurus;
use proper form for paragraphs (e.g., indentation, spacing, margins).
56

with the following:
using visual organizers for planning a story
process writing
using a dictionary and thesaurus for editing
reading and writing humorous stories
The Process Used

Prewriting. Teachers introduced the concept of gravity by showing a video clip, illustration, or photograph that illustrated people or objects suspended in space or by
describing or reading a description of how the force of gravity affects us. Students
then discussed what life on earth is like with gravity and what it would be like without gravity (e.g., if you brushed your teeth without gravity, the toothpaste would float
away, the toothbrush might only brush the top teeth, and the tap water would float
upward in the room).
Using a think-pair-share activity, students thought of scenarios from their daily lives
that would be humorous if gravity failed for a day and then discussed their ideas
with partners. As students orally presented their scenarios, teachers helped them organize their thoughts for their stories by charting their ideas under the headings
Setting, Character, Problem, and Solution:
Setting
Character
Problem
Solution
Drafting. After reviewing the components of a story map (presented in the student
package) and discussing how a first draft of a story is created from the ideas written
on a story map, each student constructed his or her own story map and then wrote a
first draft of his or her story. (The class might also cooperatively develop a set of
achievement-level descriptors at this time.)
Revising. Teachers reviewed with their students the criteria for a quality story using
the checklist included in the student package (or any similar alternative).
Editing. Teachers reviewed with students the criteria for revising and editing using the
checklists provided in the student package (or any similar alternatives). Students
revised or edited their own work and then worked in pairs to complete a peer revision
or edit of their work.
Grade 4: A Humorous Fictional Story
57
Publishing. Students wrote their final copies using resources such as computers, dictionaries, and thesauruses.
Reflecting. After finishing their final copies, students reflected on the process they
had used by filling out the reflection sheet provided in the student package.
58
Grade 4: Rubric for a Humorous Fictional Story

Categories
Level 1
Reasoning
The student:
complexity of ideas
story line
uses only a very few

simple ideas that have
little or no connection
to the story line
uses very few
supporting details

facts and details
Communication
In the students story:
purpose: to write a
humorous story
the purpose of the

writing is unclear to
the reader
not evident
voice (feelings, opinions, attitudes)
Level 2
Level 3
Level 4
uses simple ideas

the story line

the story line
uses well-developed,
interesting ideas that
advance the story line
uses some supporting details

clarify the point of
the story
uses imaginative
details that develop
the story line
the purpose of the

writing is somewhat
clear to the reader
there is some evidence of the writers
voice
a limited variety of
vocabulary is used
appropriately but
with limited effect
the purpose of the

writing is clear to the
reader
there is clear evidence of the writers
voice
a wide variety of
vocabulary is used
appropriately to add
descriptive detail to
the story
a variety of sentences
are used
the purpose of the

writing is clear and
engages the reader
clear and sustains
the readers interest
an extensive vocabulary creates images
or pictures for the
reader
some literary devices

are used
a number of literary
devices have been
used effectively
flows smoothly, progressing logically

from the beginning to
the middle to the end
has sentences that
are clearly organized
in paragraphs to
develop the story line
word use and vocabulary (e.g., descriptive

words)
the vocabulary is limited or used inappropriately, with few

descriptive words
sentence variety
only simple sentences are used
use of literary
elements such as
humour and
exaggeration
literary devices are

not used
Organization
The students story:
overall structure
(beginning, middle,
and end)
has no clear beginning, middle, or end
shows some evidence

of a beginning, a
middle, and an end
has a clear beginning, a middle, and a

logical end
paragraph structure
contains ideas and

details that are
unconnected and has
no paragraph
structure
includes ideas and

details that are somewhat connected
within paragraphs
has sentences that

are linked together in
paragraphs
Conventions
The student:
grammar, spelling,
punctuation
uses very few of the

conventions studied
correctly
produces a visual
not clear
uses some of the conventions studied correctly

produces a visual
basically clear

produces a clear
visual presentation
visual presentation
(e.g., indentations,
spacing, margins,
title)
some variety in sentences is evident, but

the types of sentences are limited
there is limited use of
literary devices
a wide variety of sentences enhance the

writing
uses all or almost all

of the conventions
studied correctly
produces a clear and
effective visual presentation that
enhances the story
59
Grade 4
Level 1: Example 1
THE DAY GRAVITY FAILED
I went for a walk walk in my

new shoe and I saw some birds float
around the forest.
I went back home I saw the
dogs float around the houes and the
cats floated around the island.
My mom and I went for a walk
and we saw a bear floated around
and a rabbit floated around and
then I went home.
Teachers Notes
Reasoning
Communication
the purpose of the writing is unclear to the reader
the writers voice is not yet evident
the vocabulary is limited and few descriptive elements are included
only simple sentences are used; literary elements of humour and exaggeration are
not evident
Organization
the beginning, middle, and end are unclear
the ideas or sentences are unconnected, and the paragraphs are incomplete
Conventions
produces a visual presentation that is somewhat clear
Comments
Although the printing is neat, the lack of details and clear purpose make it a level 1.
60
Grade 4
Level 1: Example 2
One sunny moring GRavity

Failed. Tyler and Brandon stareted
flot South and Staed of Noth our
bike were going crazey. The handel
bars were going up and down and
back and forth. Brandon and Tyler
graded on to each other.
There were other bikes and
animals are folating in the air
Grabag cans and bule boxs. Other
bikes and people were floting.
Brandon grab the pole. I will
grad on to you. then we will try to
go dound the pole To pone my
mom or my Nana. Then she can
come to rescue ues.
Teachers Notes
Reasoning
includes little description
provides a few supporting details
Communication
the purpose is stated but not developed
words are omitted
Organization
the beginning is clear, but a middle and an ending are not evident
some sentences are not complete; periods are missing
Conventions
there are many spelling inconsistencies and many spelling errors in simple words
word endings are frequently omitted
Comments
Several letter reversals and incomplete sentences made this story difficult to read.
61
Grade 4
Level 2: Example 1
One day when I woke up, I realized

there was no gravity because my
bed was floating.
I floated downstairs, But its kind of
hard to walk downstais when your
floating I had a big bruise on my
head. The man on the news said
that gravity will only be gone for a
day.
Good. I said. Because if it goes
on for more than a day, Ill have to
get stitches on my forehead from
bumping it so hard!
I floated to school. All of the other
people were floating, too. When
I finally got to School, I saw my
2 friends, Bob, and fred. They said
that its kind of weird that theres no
gravity, eitheir.
I also saw my teacher, Mrs. Wrinkle
Dinkle. She looked really funny
floating around. School finally
ended, and I floated back home.
After I got to my house, I was glad
that gravity would be back
tomorrow.
Steph, bad news! mom Called
from downstairs.
Gravity is not back till next week!
62
Teachers Notes
Reasoning
includes simple ideas that have some connection to the story line
provides some supporting details (the story mostly makes sense)
Communication
the purpose of the writing is somewhat clear to the reader
there is some evidence of voice
the vocabulary is used appropriately but with limited effect
some compound sentences are used, but the variety of sentences is limited
an attempt has been made to use literary elements of humour and exaggeration
Organization
there is some evidence of a beginning, a middle, and an end
the sentences are somewhat connected and paragraphs are partially developed
Conventions
Comments
Spelling is very good!
63
Grade 4
Level 2: Example 2
One day at 10:00 in the morning

Anna knoked on the door I opened the
door and Anna was up in the sky and so
was I. all of my friends were in the sky. I
said What happened! yolaina said I
dont no then 12:00 came Jessica E said
It lunch time. Leea said to cherdo
you want me to go in my packsack and
see if I have anything to eat
It was 2:00 in the Afernoon. My
friends and I were very hungry that we
cant stop crying. Leea turned to jessica
E and Said how are we going to get
down? I dont no said jessica E for all
of the Afternoon we decided how to get
down.
They all decided to try to get down
Anna Banana thats her nick name said
that to try to hang on the monkey
bars. jessica E said to try to hang on
the fences. yolaina said thats a good
idia to jessica E. and we all did what
jessica E said. and we all get down.
The End.
Teachers Notes
Reasoning
includes ideas that have some connection to the story line
provides some supporting details (the story mostly makes sense)
Communication
the purpose of the writing is somewhat clear to the reader
the vocabulary is used appropriately but with limited effect
some compound sentences are used, but the variety of sentences is limited
an attempt has been made to use literary elements of humour and exaggeration
Organization
there is some evidence of a beginning, a middle, and an end
the sentences are somewhat connected and paragraphs are partially developed
Conventions
Comments
The student communicates surprise and anxiety to the reader and would benefit from instruction
on how to use dialogue.
64
Grade 4
Level 3: Example 1
The Day Gravity Failed

It was 7:00 Monday night. I had
just arrived at the soccer field on
my bike when I saw my team-mate
Vincent, he was practicing shooting
at the net.I asked if I could join in,
he said sure dude. After a few
hard kicks we noticed that we
couldnt kick the ball into the huge
net, it just kept going over. Then
the ball started floating.We noticed
that the ball wasnt the only thing
floating we were floating too.
After a while I noticed a radio
floating about thirty feet away from
me. I told Vincent about it and we
started to move slowly toward the
radio. Finally we reached the radio.
We turned it on and listened. It said
that the evil Doctor Mad-Man had
shrunk the earth with his supersonic ray gun and all gravity had
disapeared. David and Vincent
didnt know what to do.
After a while Vincent had an
idea.It was to blow the planet back
up with straws.They said it on the
radio and then at exactly
5:00p.meveryone on earth put a
straw into the earth and blew as
hard as they could into it and the
earth grew back to normal. Oh! and
Dr. Mad-Man, he got zapped by the
ray gun and died.
65
Teachers Notes
Reasoning
includes developed ideas that are connected to the story line
provides many supporting details
Communication
the purpose of the writing is clear to the reader
there is clear evidence of the writers voice
vocabulary is used appropriately to add descriptive detail to the story
a variety of both simple and compound sentences are used
literary elements of humour and exaggeration are evident
Organization
the progression from the beginning to the middle to the ending is logical
the sentences are linked together in paragraphs, and paragraphs are used to tell a story
Conventions
correctly uses most of the conventions studied
produces a clear visual presentation
Comments
The student engages the reader through the use of asides and speech. The student makes
minor errors in punctuation. We enjoyed his novel solution to the problem. Who is David?
I assume he is the storywriter. However, if not, he only appears once in the story.
66
Grade 4
Level 3: Example 2
The day gravity failed

Tiffanie and Grace were racing
on a race track and Grace was in the
lead by 1m. It was 12:00 on a
Saturday morning. Tiffanie was
catching up. Then suddenly that
was the time gravity failed.
In 1 milasecond they were in
the air. Tiffanie asked Grace Whats
wrong? Did I ever tell you I was
motion sick? Grace squealed No.
Tiffanie said looking puzzeled. The
gravity must have failed! Yelled
Tiffanie. Ecxactly Grace snapped.
Then how are we supposed to
race? Tiffanie wondered. I dont
know Grace answered.
I have an idea! suggested
Grace. Maybe we should have a
flying contest. Yeah! exlaimed
Tiffanie. We could fly home after.
Grace won the race. When they
were almost home Grace whisperd
Oh, no, I have to brush my teeth
or else my mom wont let me go to a
concert. Well I hope you deal
with it. Said Tiffanie. By the time
Grace came home the gravity came
back and she got to go to the
concert.
67
Teachers Notes
Reasoning
includes developed ideas that are connected to the story line
provides many supporting details (the story makes sense)
Communication
the purpose of the writing is clear to the reader
there is clear evidence of the writers voice
vocabulary is used appropriately to add descriptive detail to the story
a variety of both simple and compound sentences are used
literary elements of humour and exaggeration are evident
Organization
the progression from the beginning to the middle to the ending is logical
sentences are linked together in paragraphs, and paragraphs are used to tell a story
Conventions
correctly uses most of the conventions studied
produces a visual presentation that is clear
Comments
The use of humour and synonyms helps engage and clarify the piece for the reader.
The writer fails to use capitals in the title.
68
Grade 4
Level 4: Example 1
The Day Gravity Failed

One day I woke up on the wrong side
of the bed. I didnt bang into the wall!
Everything was floating! Even I was
floating. I went to go wake up my
sister but I couldnt reach her! I went
to go wake my Mom but she was
already awake. She was white! I mean
real white! I asked her, how did this
happen? My Mom didnt say
anything. Just then my dog came in
the room. He was floating
upsidedown! We laughed. Wheres
Terra? asked Mom. I couldnt answer!
I tried and tried but not a peep came
from my mouth.
Then we heard a loud scream.
Ahhh! It was my sister. She was
sideways in the air! Help! she cried.
I cant get up. We helped her up.
Whats going on? she asked. Well,
theres not any gravity said Mom.
This cant be happening said Terra.
Terra tried to talk but she couldnt!
What happened to your voices?
asked Mom. We didnt answer.
We searched around the house for
are voices. I felt really silly and I think
my Mom did too. We didnt find are
voices and now it was time for bed.
Then I floated up to the ceiling and hit
my head. I couldnt say ouch so I just
rubbed my head. The very next day we
had gravity again. I put a chair on my
bed and stood on it and I tied a pillow
to the ceiling where I hit my head. I
only did that so if gravity ever failed
again I wouldnt hurt my head. I also
got my voice back or should I say my
sisters! What am I going to do? Oh
well I guess Ill have to live with it!
The End
69
Teachers Notes
Reasoning
includes well-developed ideas that are all connected to the story line
provides imaginative details that advance and develop the story line
Communication
the writing has a clear purpose and engages the reader
the words used create images for the reader
the sentence variety enhances the story
Organization
the story is well developed
the paragraphs flow
Conventions
there are a few minor errors
overall a level 4 for conventions regardless of different indentations
Comments
The story has an interesting ending.
70
Grade 4
Level 4: Example 2
We need Gravity
One morning, I got up to get
something to eat like some cereal or
toaster strudels. While I was going
to eat I realized I wasnt walking, so
I swam to see if there was still food.
There was food all right, all over the
ceiling. Then I realized gravity had
failed.
I went to get dressed. I chased
after my underwear and my socks.
They were in the lead but I caught
up thanks to swimming lessons. I
went outside boy was that unsmart.
I got stuck on a hydro pole. Luckly
I escaped and remembered I was
hungry. I went to a snack bar and
got a double beef patti Big Mac. I
was litterally in heaven because
when I was eating I got pulled up to
the angels. They told me to move to
the moon. I was like what?
Somebody told my mom and
dad that the planets were going
clock wise instead of counter
clockwise, he also exclaimed that
the moon had all the gravity. I didnt
believe him but if he was telling the
truth then I could eat again. On
Tuesday everybody on earth was
moving to the moon. By Wednesday
everybody was settled inand ready
start again and invent new food for
me because I own Subway now.
Cool huh!
71
Teachers Notes
Reasoning
includes well-developed ideas that all connect to the story line
provides imaginative details that advance and develop the story line
Communication
the purpose of the writing is clear and engages the reader
the writers voice is clear and sustains reader interest
the vocabulary used creates images or pictures for the reader
the sentence variety enhances the writing
literary devices have been used effectively
Organization
the progression from the beginning to the middle to the end is logical and well developed
sentences are clearly organized in paragraphs to further develop the story line
Conventions
the writer correctly uses all or almost all of the conventions studied
there is a clear and effective visual presentation that enhances the story
Comments
This most enjoyable story is an interesting explanation for gravity failing.
72
Grade 5
A Non-fiction Report
(A Person I Admire)
A Non-fiction Report
(A Person I Admire)
The Task
Students were asked to write a non-fiction report on a person they admire (e.g., an
author, an inventor, a famous Canadian, an athlete, a family member), using a planning web and a report planner to help them record, jot notes, and summarize information. They were asked to organize information using well-developed paragraphs
that provided relevant supporting details. They were also expected to use a variety of
sentences. Students were reminded to work with peer editors to check each others
communicate ideas and information for a variety of purposes;
organize information to convey a central idea using well-developed paragraphs that
focus on a main idea and give some relevant supporting details;
use simple, compound, and complex sentences;
produce pieces of writing using a variety of specific forms and materials from other
media (e.g., as sources of information);
revise and edit their work, seeking feedback from others and focusing on content,
organization, and the appropriateness of the vocabulary for the audience;
proofread and correct their final drafts, focusing on grammar, punctuation, and
spelling;
this grade.
use levels of language appropriate to their purpose;
use a variety of resources to confirm spelling (e.g., a dictionary, CD-ROM).
74

with the following:
process writing
using visual organizers
using a dictionary and a thesaurus for editing
using non-fiction materials and writing non-fiction reports
The Process Used

Prewriting. In the centre of a planning web drawn on chart paper, teachers placed the
name and photo of a familiar famous personality and then worked with students to
generate questions to help determine why this person is admired, recording these on
the planning web. Teachers then modelled on chart paper how to select and sequence
the questions so that the information produced is logical and connected.
Question:
Where does he/she live?
Persons
name or
picture
Question:
Why do I admire this person?
Drafting. Students each selected a Person I Admire and formulated questions about
this individual using the class chart as a guide. They then completed any necessary
research required, as well as the Report Plan forms in their student packages.
Teachers reviewed with students how to write the first draft of a non-fiction report
from the information included in the report plans, and students wrote their first
drafts.
Revising. Teachers reviewed with their students the criteria for a quality non-fiction
report using the checklist included in the student package (or any similar alternative).
or edit of their work before writing the final copy.
Grade 5: A Non-fiction Report
75
had completed by filling out the reflection sheets provided in their student packages.
76
Grade 5: Rubric for a Non-fiction Report

Level 2
Level 3
Level 4

that support the topic
has a conclusion that

is unclear
uses simple ideas that

usually support the
topic
shows some evidence
of understanding the
topic
has a conclusion that
is not entirely clear
number and relevance

of supporting facts
and details (research
sources)
appears to have based

the report only on personal knowledge
appears to have based

the report mostly on a
single source
uses well-developed
ideas that support the
topic effectively
shows a thorough
understanding of the
topic
has a clear conclusion
that summarizes all
the ideas presented
appears to have used
information from a
variety of sources
effectively
Communication
In the students report:
purpose (to write a

report)
the topic is unclear

and is described with
limited detail and
accuracy
there is little evidence
of the writers voice
Categories
Level 1
Reasoning
The student:
complexity of the ideas

topic
topic
uses only simple

ideas, some of which
are off-topic
shows limited understanding of the topic
shows a general
topic
has a clear conclusion
that summarizes some
of the ideas presented
appears to have used
information based on
both personal knowledge and other
sources
only basic and unclear

vocabulary is used
the topic is identified

and described with
some detail and
accuracy
there is some evidence
of the writers voice
and some attempt to
interest the reader
the vocabulary used is
limited but clear
sentence variety
(structure, type,
length)
there is little variety in

the sentences

in the sentences
Organization
The students report:
overall structure
(beginning, middle,
end, links)
has no clear beginning, middle, or end
has a beginning, a
middle, and an end
that are somewhat
linked
paragraph
structure
contains ideas and

details that are unconnected, with no paragraph structure
includes ideas and

details that are somewhat connected within
the paragraphs
has a clear beginning,

middle, and end with
paragraphs linked to
the main topic and an
end that is linked with
the beginning
has paragraphs that
each contain similar
or linked ideas and
supporting details
Conventions
In the students report:
grammar, spelling,
punctuation
there are several

major errors or
omissions
few aspects of the
expected visual presentation are evident
there are several

minor errors or omissions
some aspects of the
there are only a few

minor errors or omissions
most aspects of the
visual presentation
are evident
voice (appeal to the

reader through content, style, or vocabulary)
word use and
vocabulary
visual presentation
spacing, margins, title)
the topic is clearly

identified and
described with good
detail and accuracy
clearly evident
the topic is clearly

identified and thoroughly and accurately
described
clear and engages the
readers interest
the vocabulary clearly

conveys the meaning
of the writer
there is a good variety
in the sentences
the vocabulary is
extensive, clear, creative, and descriptive
there is extensive variety of sentences used
effectively
flows logically and

sequentially with paragraphs that build to a
conclusion
there are practically

no errors or omissions
all aspects of the
visual presentation
are evident
has paragraphs that

each contain ideas and
supporting details that
are logically linked
77
Grade 5
Level 1: Example 1
A PERSON I ADMIRE
Roberto Alomar
Reberto Alomar is 30 years old. His birthday is
Febuary 5 1968. He was born in portoricko.
I injoy Reberto Alomars occupation wicth is
baseball. He is a Designated hitter. In 1997 Reberto
Alomar hit a career .333.
His achifments are making it to the pros. His dad
and brother both play baseball.
I like baseball because when you hit the ball your
team cheers you on.
I play baseball in Action for fun and we dont haft
to stay in the same position.
I admire Reberto Alomar because I would like to
go to the pros and hit a career .333.
Teachers Notes
Reasoning
includes simple ideas that are often not connected to the topic
provides limited detail to support ideas
Communication
uses only simple sentences with limited detail
the language and vocabulary used are simple
Organization
the paragraph structure is limited; some paragraphs consist of only one sentence
details are not connected
Conventions
there is inconsistent use of capitals
there are major spelling errors with common words (e.g., haft to for have to)
Comments
This sample is a level 1 because the ideas, sentences, and vocabulary are too simple for Grade
5. There are ideas presented, but they are mostly unrelated facts that do not address why this
person is admired.
78
Grade 5
Level 1: Example 2
A PERSON I ADMIRE
I admire my cousin because he is a

Fun and caring guy. He is a
carpinder and, two sisters. His
name is t___.h. He has a blue truck
but he wants a four wheel drive.
He likes camping trips. I admire
him because he is a smart, cool, lot
of people like him, he cares and I
admire him because he is a nice guy.
Teachers Notes
Reasoning
includes only simple ideas
the report is based on personal knowledge only
Communication
the sentences used are simple (beginning with I or he in a repetitive way)
the vocabulary used is simple and basic
Organization
the ideas are unconnected
there is no paragraph structure
Conventions
there is inconsistent use of capitals for proper nouns and many spelling errors
Comments
This piece of writing lacks a paragraph structure. Sentences and ideas are simple. There is a
collection of sentences that are limited and do not always support the topic of why this person
is admired.
79
Grade 5
Level 2: Example 1
A PERSON I ADMIRE
Terry Fox is the person that I

am writing about because he tryed
to help others when they were in
need. Like childern or grown ups
that had cancer for a very long time.
Terry started sports when he
was little and when he was older.
Terry was diagnost with cancer
in 1979 Terry had his right leg
amputated. He sounds like a very
nice person to meet.
Terry is a person that I admire
because he is dertermined and he
never gives up in what he could
accomplish.
I hope that some day cancer will
be beaten help raise money for the
Cancer Society
80
Teachers Notes
Reasoning
there is evidence of simple ideas (e.g., when he was little and when he was older)
there is some evidence of supporting details but not all ideas have been developed
Communication
ideas are sometimes developed (e.g., when Terrys determination is discussed) but not
consistently and with limited detail
Organization
ideas are disjointed (e.g., the writer does not explain why Terry would be nice to meet)
some single sentences (sports) are presented as a paragraph
Conventions
there is a minor sentence error (second sentence)
there are errors in common words (e.g., tryed for tried)
there is evidence of some aspects of visual presentation (e.g., indentations and spacing,
but no title)
Comments
This piece has elements approaching the standard. It is a good mix of simple and developed
ideas. Some errors in conventions are evident (one sentence incomplete, one too long).
However, most of the ideas are simple and undeveloped.
81
Grade 5
Level 2: Example 2
A PERSON I ADMIRE
The wonderful person that I

admire is my mom!!
I will tell you the story about
why I admire my mom so much!
My mom is not like any other
mom. She is 39 years old, she is
very nice. She has a good sense of
humer and she is very good at
making tuna salad and at angel food
cake. She really likes to do peoples
hair. She loves babies too.
My moms hobbies are hiking
om Bruce Trail. My mom loves
nature too.
At school my mom was good at
nature in class. She had a few
prolobles but she got her act
together.
My mom lives in a nice area.
The people there are very nice.
There was omce were one of the
people who live beside mom bought
me a Dickey-dee. I really love those
people!!
The End!
82
Teachers Notes
Reasoning
the ideas presented are mostly on topic, but some are solidly off-topic
the report seems to be based only on personal knowledge
Communication
there is some specific vocabulary used (e.g., sense of humer and Bruce Trail)
Organization
some attempt at paragraphs was made
the conclusion is off-topic but somewhat connected
Conventions
there are minor spelling errors in common words (omce for once, were for where)
there are grammatical errors (There was omce were ...)
Comments
The concluding sentence is off-topic, but this piece shows beginning awareness of paragraphs
and some understanding of providing detail to support a topic. Some of the detail takes away
from the central idea (why the student admires her mom).
83
Grade 5
Level 3: Example 1
A PERSON I ADMIRE
Elvis Stojko, 26 years old and

dedicated to what he does was born
March 22. 1972 in Newmarket Ont.
This young star travels the world
going to competitions and practices
although through all the travelling
he manages to fit it all in. Most
people know Elvis from his
spectacular skating performances all
over the world.
I am one of Elvis Stoykos #1
fans. He and I both figure skate and
love to do it. Even so he has been to
many more competitions than I
have and they are as follows:
Worlds - 9th in 1990, 6th in 1991,
3rd in 1992, 2nd in 1993, 1st in
1995 and 1st in 1997. In the
Olynpics he recieved 7th in 1992,
2nd in 1994 and 2nd in 1998.
I admire Elvis because he likes
hinself the way he is and nobody
can change him. He is always
humble and never brags. He smiles
when he loses and doesnt usually
get upset.
Elvis dreans and plans of
winning the gold in the Olympics.
He has a black belt in karate and
likes to read. Though he is
exetremely busy he still has time for
his family.
Therefore Elvis has contributed
dedication, hard work, and
sportsmanship. He excepts losing
with a smile and attempts the
impossible.
84
Teachers Notes
Reasoning
the ideas are developed and explain why Elvis is admired
the flow of the report is logical
the ideas give supportive detail and description
Communication
the ideas and vocabulary reflect Grade 5 expectations (e.g., practices, competitions,
manages)
a variety of sentence structure is used
Organization
the report is organized into paragraphs, each of which is linked in general to its topic sentence
the concluding paragraph is a good summary
Conventions
there are some sentence errors (e.g., starting with Therefore) and a few minor spelling
errors
the paragraph format is clear
Comments
This piece meets the requirements of a report about why a person is admired. The person is
introduced and supporting details are given in an orderly and logical way. The vocabulary and
language use is consistent with Grade 5 writing.
85
Grade 5
Level 3: Example 2
A PERSON I ADMIRE
Once you read about my Aunt

L____ you will choose her as a person
you admire too. I admire her because of
what she has accomplished and just
that shes my aunt and I love her. This
is proof of why my aunt is such an
excellent person.
She was born in 1958 in H_______
Ontario. As both a child and a teenager
my Aunt L_____ was very popular in
school not only because she was
intelligent but because she was kind,
generous and also very understanding
and she still is.
My aunt has made many
accomplishments. She works with the
disabled as her job. My Aunt L____ also
watches a 6 year old girl named A____
who has many diablities. Sign
Language classes are taken by my aunt
twice a week.
I want to be like my aunt when I
grow up because shes kind and helpful.
This shows that my aunt is a great
person and now you know why I
admire her and why you would admire
her also.
Teachers Notes
Reasoning
presents a clear theme and supports it in a logical way
demonstrates an understanding of the task, Why this person is admired
Communication
the details support the topic to make the meaning clear
the sentences have variety
Organization
the beginning, middle, and end are evident and are linked
the vocabulary is developed (generous, intelligent, accomplishments)
Conventions
the spelling, grammar, and punctuation are strong
some sentences are too long (overuse of and)
Comments
This piece of writing shows a good understanding of the task. The topic is presented and
developed with details. The organization supports the topic.
86
Grade 5
Level 4: Example 1
A PERSON I ADMIRE
He was born on November 12,

1913 in Hamilton. His name is F____
D____ and he is my Papa. Grandma
met Papa when she was 10. They have
known eachother for 73 years. Many
people are famous and have more
talents, but I chose to write about the
most important person, in my life my
Papa. I admire him because he was a
good role model, talented wood
worker and he taught me the
importance of family.
My Papa was a good role model.
My grandma told me he never got
mad and he solved his problems in a
peaceful way. According to my mom
he saved her from getting bitten by a
snapping turtle once. He calmly told
her not to touch it and gently moved
it out of harms way with a shovel.
My Papa taught me how to be kind
and patient.
My Papa is very talented with
wood. He made me a crib for my dolls
when I was two. My mom has three
clocks he made. Also, he made me a
teddy and my grandma painted it.
Finally, my Papa taught me the
importance of family. Every year my
grandparents had our whole family
over for Christmas. These gatherings
were his happiest times. One time I
missed a visit and Papa was very
dissapointed. As I get older family will
always be important to me.
Papa very sadly passed away on
April 2, 1997 1 day after my second
cousin was born. Papa died at the
B_______ General Hospital. When I
go to grandmas house I keep wishing
he was there. I sure dont know what
people think but in my opinion he
was the greatest man in the whole
world.
87
Teachers Notes
Reasoning
the central ideas are well developed and well supported with relevant details
the conclusion summarizes effectively
the student has a thorough understanding of the topic
Communication
the details engage the reader and help the reader understand why this person is admired
the vocabulary used is strong (according to, talented, importance of family)
Organization
the writing is solidly organized to support the theme
the paragraphs focus on single themes linked to the main theme established in the opening
Conventions
there are a few minor spelling errors (e.g., dissapointed)
there is some confusion with verb tense
the visual presentation elements (e.g., indentation, spacing, margins) are effective
Comments
This topic is well developed. The organization, vocabulary, and details combine to present an
effective piece of writing that is appealing and clear to the reader.
88
Grade 5
Level 4: Example 2
A PERSON I ADMIRE
My Uncle R__
My Uncle R__ is a family doctor
who has recently joined an
organization called Doctors Without
Borders. Now, he travels around the
world to help countries that are
struggling from war as a doctor.
Lately, he travelld to Zire and
Rwanda. The people there are
struggling of a war that involves three
sides. Two of the sides are actual
armies fighting against each other.
The other side is simply civilians
struggling to survive. While he was
there, he treated bullect shot wounds,
machete wounds and deadly diseases.
In his two year time period there, he
saved many lives.
My Uncle loves nature. He can
name almost any flower you can see.
Butterflies are one of his favourite
species on Earth. His favourite kind
is the Monarch. My uncle also enjoys
watching bears. His favourite type of
bear is the grizzly.
Scuba diving is one of my uncles
favourite things do. He has explored
many reefs. My uncle also enjoys
collecting pins, flags etc.
One of my uncles futre goals are
to go back to Zire and help end the
war. The reasons that I admire my
uncle is because he helped save many
lives. He put his life in danger in one
of the most dangerous places in the
world.
89
Teachers Notes
Reasoning
the ideas are well-developed
the writer shows a detailed, thorough understanding of the topic
Communication
the writer uses detail to help the reader understand why this person is admired
the vocabulary used has some depth (e.g., simply civilians struggling to survive)
Organization
the paragraph structure is strong
not all the paragraph topics support the main topic, but the essay generally builds to a
conclusion
the introduction and conclusion are clear
Conventions
there are some spelling errors (e.g., futre)
there is a grammatical error (reasons ... is)
the visual presentation is clear and supports the organization (includes a title, spacing, and
paragraph indentation)
Comments
This writer develops the theme well, even though some topics provide information unrelated to
the theme. The writing, nevertheless, provides depth and detail that convinces and engages the
reader.
90
Grade 6
A Summary Report
(Canadas Newest Territory)
A Summary Report
(Canadas Newest Territory)
The Task
Students were asked to write a summary report of a non-fiction article entitled
Welcome Nunavut! Canadas Newest Territory. They were given a summary planner
to record jot notes and to organize their thoughts, and were asked to use paragraph
format and include information and details that were important for the reader to
know. They were reminded to put all information into their own words. Students were
also reminded to work with peer editors to check each others work for errors in
spelling, grammar, and punctuation.
communicate ideas and information for a variety of purposes (to inform, to persuade, to explain) and to specific audiences (e.g., write the instructions for building an electrical circuit for an audience unfamiliar with the technical terminology);
organize information to convey a central idea using well-linked paragraphs;
use a variety of sentence types and structures (e.g., complex sentences) appropriate
for their purposes;
produce pieces of writing using a variety of forms and using materials from other
media;
revise and edit their work in collaboration with others, seeking and evaluating
feedback, and focusing on content, organization, and the appropriateness of the
vocabulary for the audience;
proofread and correct their final drafts, focusing on grammar, punctuation,
spelling, and conventions of style;
this grade.
accurately use appropriate organizers;
use a dictionary and thesaurus to confirm their spelling.
92

with the following:
using visual organizers when planning a summary
process writing
using a dictionary and a thesaurus for editing
reading and writing non-fiction materials and reports
writing introductions and conclusions
recording jot notes on a topic and expanding jot notes to complete sentences and
paragraphs in their own words
The Process Used

Prewriting. Teachers used a summary planner similar to a web diagram, placing a
topic (e.g., Canada) in the centre and brainstorming subtopics (e.g., climate, geography, languages, population, customs) with the class to fill the squares or circles surrounding the main topic in the centre of the planner. Teachers recorded students
ideas in jot-form notes under each of the headings chosen. They then modelled how
to expand the jot-form notes into complete sentences and paragraphs, emphasizing
the need to explain the ideas in their words rather than simply copying the notes.
Finally, they showed students how to write an introduction and a conclusion to
complete their summary reports.
Drafting. Students read the selection on Nunavut and highlighted or underlined the
key ideas included. They then completed the summary planner included in the student package and wrote first drafts of their summaries.
Revising. Teachers reviewed with their students the criteria for a summary report
using a checklist included in the student package (or any similar alternative).
or edit of their work before writing the final copy.
had used by filling out the reflection sheets provided in their student packages.
Grade 6: A Summary Report
93
Grade 6: Rubric for a Summary Report

Categories
Level 1
Reasoning
The student:
main ideas
shows limited understanding of the main

ideas
retells few of the
main ideas

facts and details
Level 2
Level 3
Level 4
shows some understanding of the main

ideas
retells some of the
main ideas, including
supporting details
shows general understanding of the main

ideas
summarizes most of
the main ideas and
includes supporting
details
shows thorough
main ideas
summarizes and
interprets all the
main ideas and
includes supporting
details
communicates the
purpose somewhat
clearly in the introduction
contains some words
from the text as well
as the students own
words
communicates the
purpose clearly in the
introduction
communicates the
purpose clearly in an
effective and interesting introduction
contains ideas
expressed concisely
in the students own
words, which expand
on the concepts
contains an extensive
vocabulary used correctly and effectively
has an extensive
variety of sentences
used effectively
Communication
The students summary:
purpose: to summarize a report
shows limited evidence of the purpose

in the introduction
voice (use of the

authors own words)
contains words taken

directly from the text
word use and

vocabulary
contains a limited
vocabulary
contains some variety

of vocabulary
contains a good variety of vocabulary
sentence variety
(structure, type,
length)
has little sentence

variety
has some sentence

variety
has a good variety of

sentences
Organization
The students summary:
overall structure
(introduction, body,
conclusion)
is presented in a disorganized way
shows some organization, including an

introduction, body,
and conclusion
paragraph structure
lacks a paragraph
structure
contains paragraphs
that have some structure, but more than
one topic may be
combined within a
paragraph
contains an introduction, a body, and a

conclusion, with the
conclusion linked to
the introduction
contains paragraphs
that have topic sentences and related
details
contains an introduction, a body, and a

conclusion that are
effectively linked to
each other
contains paragraphs
that are welldeveloped, with clear
topic sentences and
relevant supporting
details
Conventions
In the students summary:
grammar, spelling,
punctuation
there are several

major errors or
omissions
few aspects of the

minor errors or
omissions
most aspects of the

no errors or omissions
all aspects of the
visual presentation
spacing, margins,
title)
94
there are several

minor errors or
omissions
some aspects of the
contains appropriate
words from the text
as well as the students own words
Grade 6
Level 1: Example 1
CANADAS NEWEST TERRITORY
Hi my name is [students name] this

paper has all the important thing
about the new Nanavot
On April 1, 1999, the map of
Canada will change. It will join the
Yukon terratory and the Northwest
terratories. Nunavot voters have
already chosen a capital.It will be
Iqaluit the largest community in the
terratory. One fifth of the size of the
rest of Canada.The land is almost
half mainland and half isLand.
Permanently frosted ground is
called permafrost. Most people in
the future terratory of Nanavot are
Inuit this beautiful language is
spocken all across the artic. Many
generations before it was written
down. this spocken language helped
to keep alive the legends, songs,
and his tory of the Inuit. Land is
cold, there will not be no wildlife.
One of these is the caribow which
some people call reindeer. The
incects also do important work like
helping to pallnate flovers and
providing food for the birds.It has
many interesting and fascinating
inhabit ovons who have lived there
for many thousands of years.
this is the end of the New Nanavot
and I hope it is good because I did
the best I can on this sheet.
95
Teachers Notes
Reasoning
the writer retells some of the text message and a few of the main ideas
there is limited understanding of the main idea and limited details
states that there will not be no wildlife, then writes One of these is the caribow ..., which
demonstrates a lack of understanding
Communication
the introduction is copied from the original
words are taken directly from the text (e.g., On April 1, 1999, the map ...)
limited vocabulary is used
Organization
the report lacks paragraph structure (i.e., the body is all one paragraph)
the topics of the sentences change from sentence to sentence in the body of the report
Conventions
there is no title
the paragraphs are not indented
the report has major spelling errors (e.g., terratory, Nanavot, spocken, artic)
there are major sentence errors (e.g., One fifth of the size of the rest of Canada.)
Comments
A limited amount of information is evident, but the information is sometimes incorrect. The
vocabulary is simple, and many words are taken directly from the original text. The ideas that
are retold are not necessarily the main ideas. There is an attempt at a paragraph structure, but
the paragraphs lack development. Some conventions are evident but used inconsistently.
96
Grade 6
Level 1: Example 2
There will be a new territory in

Canada.
The wild life is Maskox, Grizzy
Bears, Wolves, Foxes and Caribou
but some people call Reindeer.
The language there is English
French and the natives Speak
Inuktitut.
Nuavuts birds are the Snowowl,
Geese, Swan, Ducks, Peregrine
falcon.
Nuavuts Climte is the most
nothern and the Coldest part of
Canada.
Nuavuts Summer insects are
Mosquitoes, wasps, Bees.
Nuavut also has animals that
lives inand around the water. They
are Walruses, Whales and Polar
bears.
Nuavuts Summer weathe Still
has icecaps, glaciers and the ground
is frozen allyear round.
Its is very cold in Nunavut but
there is a lot of stuff there for you!!
97
Teachers Notes
Reasoning
the writer focuses on some of the ideas but there are no main ideas (e.g., language, wildlife,
culture, climate)
limited detail is provided
Communication
the writer uses limited vocabulary copied from the text
the writer uses simple sentences that often begin with Nuavut
Organization
the report lacks structure (the body is disorganized)
there are single sentence paragraphs
Conventions
there are major spelling errors (birds, Nuavut, weathe)
there is good use of commas
there is inconsistent use of capital letters
there is no title
sentences do not always make sense (The language there is ...)
Comments
Many important and relevant details from the original text have been left out. Although the
student has attempted to retell the information in his own words, only limited vocabulary and
simple sentences are used. Paragraph concepts are developing but remain simple.
98
Grade 6
Level 2: Example 1
Nunavnt
April 1, 1999, the map of
Canada will change forever, because
of Nunavnt, Canadas newest
territory.
There are three main languages.
They are French, English, and
Inuktitut which has been around in
Nunavnt for many years.
85% of Nunavnt population are
Inuit people. The other 15% are of
the people are campers and
travelers.
You may think, because it is
cold there is no animals. Well you
are worng. There are many
creatures that live there. They are
the caribou, muskox, grizzly bears,
wolves and foxes. There are sea
animals as well like seals, walrusses,
whales, and polar bears.
There are also animals that fly,
like the snowhy owl, ducks, geese,
swans, falcon and mosquitoes, bees
and wasps they are olny good for
pollinaling fowers and food for the
brids.
What we have to learn, is that
this soon to be a new part of
Canada has very fascing facts. For
example, it has been there for many
many years. About the climate and
the weather.
Iam sure Canada will welcome
this new territory and Nunavnt will
be built stronger!
99
Teachers Notes
Reasoning
the writer begins including some of the main ideas and supporting details, but does not do
this throughout (e.g., About the climate and the weather.)
Communication
the writer takes most words from the original passage and uses very few of his own words
there is some variety in sentence length and structure, but there are also sentence fragments
Organization
the writing is organized into paragraphs, but more than one topic is sometimes combined
within a paragraph
the structure within each paragraph needs improvement
Conventions
there are some minor errors such as subject-predicate agreement (e.g., there is no animals)
there are many spelling errors (e.g., olny for only, fowers for flowers, fascing for
fascinating)
Comments
The student has shown some understanding of the main ideas in the original article. The summary uses words from the article but very little original vocabulary. The ending was weak and
the report included no key details.
100
Grade 6
Level 2: Example 2
On April 1 1999, Canadas map

will change. They make a new
territory named Nunivut. People were
talking about this for many years and
also Planning for many years. Its
Capital will be Iqulut.
The size of Nunivut is amazing,
and it is also the coldest, Northern,
and largest part of Canada. Since it is
so cold that many glaciers formed.
They are called mountain glaciers.
Most people that live in Nunivut
are Inuit, and they speak both
French, and English. Inuits have lived
in the Nunivut area for many years.
Lots of animals roam the land,
some animals are: bears, wolves and
foxes. There are also some animals
that live in water like. Seals,
walwrusses, whales and some polar
bears.
Nunivut has amazing birds, they
also have lots of incets like
Misquetos, bees, and wasps. They do
important jobs like pollinate flowers.
We need to learn lots more about
Nunivut. We need to learn more
about its facinating inhabitants.
Welcome Nunivut!
101
Teachers Notes
Reasoning
the writer has captured some of the main ideas but provides few supporting details
the writer retells some of the main ideas
Communication
the writer has used many words from the text
the writer uses only simple sentences
paragraphs lack detail
Organization
paragraphs have some structure but more than one topic is often combined within a paragraph
Conventions
there is no title
there are several spelling mistakes, (e.g., walwrusses, incets, Misquetos, facinating)
sentences are incomplete and confusing (e.g., They make a new territory ..., Since it is so
cold that many glaciers formed.)
there are subject-verb agreement problems
the spacing and margins are inconsistent
Comments
This writing sample has included facts from the original article, but has seldom included the
students own words. There are several minor errors with conventions and sentence structure.
102
Grade 6
Level 3: Example 1
Canadas Newest Territory

Welcome Nunavut! What is Nunavut, you ask?
Well, its Canadas newest Territory! Read on to find
out more about this very exciting Territory!
On April 1st, 1999 the changing of Canada will
happen! The people of the Yukon and the Northwest
Territories have been wanting a new territory for a long
time. Nunavut will be this new territory. It is one-fifth
the size of Canada! Iqaluit will be the capital and it is
the largest community in the Territory!
More amazing things about Nunavut are its size

and climate. The land is frozen all year round, except
for the thin layer of top soil. Mainland and islands are
what makes up Nunavut. Half of the lakes and rivers
freeze in the winter, but not in the summer. Mountain
glaciers are what large ice caps are called, and there is
a lot.
Are you someone who loves animals? Well
Nunavut has tons of cute, big and little animals. They
have swans, ducks, geese, snowy owls and peregrine
103
falcons. Some land rovers are seals, whales and polar

bears, carribou and grizzly bears. The not-so-cute
animals are mosquitoes, bees and wasps. Its amazing
how these animals survive in the cold climate, but they
have adapted!
Language is something I cant forget to mention.
The Inuit people who live there speak English and
French, but the native language of the people is
Teachers Notes
Inuktitut. Inuktitut was spoken many generations

before it was written down. This language is spoken
across the Artic. It is a very beautiful language.
So you see, Nunavut is really great! Im glad all
of the planning and time went into this new Territory.
It was really neat learning about Canadas newest
Territory!
Reasoning
the writer summarizes the texts main ideas with supporting details
the report shows an understanding of the text
Communication
the opening paragraph communicates the purpose clearly and effectively (Read on to find
out ...)
the writer expresses ideas in her own words (e.g., asks questions, gives opinion, talks to the
reader)
there is some repetition of words (e.g., really), and structures (overuse of exclamatory sentences)
the writer uses some very simple vocabulary (e.g., cute, big, little)
Organization
the conclusion is linked to the introduction
each paragraph has a topic sentence and supporting details
Conventions
there are a few minor errors (e.g., awkward structure in Mountain glaciers are ..., and
spelling errors such as Artic)
the writer has used appropriate spacing, margins, and indentations
Comments
This writing is well organized with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. It shows a general
understanding of the article. The student used her own words and offered her opinion in several
instances. Grade 6 conventions were used successfully.
104
Grade 6
Level 3: Example 2
Nunavut
Just imagine, Nunavut will be Canadas newest
territory on April 1st 1999, it has already been voted
by the Northwest Territories. Nunavut is now part of
the Northwest Territories, but not for long! It is the
most Northern part of Canada, and its capital was
voted to be Iqaluit. Nunavut is partly mainland, and
partly islands, (about half and half).
Nunavut is about 85% Inuit, which means the
predominant language is Inuktitut. Inuktitut was
actually spoken for generations before it was written
down, and is now spoken across the Arctic. People
used this language to pass on legends, songs, and bits
of history. Inuktitut will probably be a more common
language soon when Nunavut is a territory.
There are many land and sea animals in Nunavut,

including the caribou, sometimes known as the
reindeer, and hunted for making fur coats. As well as
the muskox, with its thick, shaggy coat, and humped
shoulders. There are large seal populations, as well as
walruses, whales, and polar bears. All of these animals
have adapted to the coldness of Nunavut.
Nunavut is the coldest part of Canada. The land
stays frozen all year round except for the top layer, this
is called permafrost. Large ice caps and glaciers are
often found floating in lakes and rivers.
Just think, Canada will have a whole new territory
called Nunavut Territory. The whole map will alter. All
this will happen April 1st, 1999. It is my pleasure to
welcome Nunavut to Canada. Welcome Nunavut!
105
Teachers Notes
Reasoning
the text message shows a general understanding of the main ideas, which are expressed in a
concise manner
some supporting details are evident (e.g., All of these animals have adapted to the coldness
of Nunavut.)
Communication
the writer uses her own words in the text (e.g., but not for long, as well as the muskox
with its thick, shaggy coat, and humped shoulders)
the writer reorganizes text and vocabulary to suit the purpose and combines ideas in varied
sentences
there is a clear and effective opening stating the purpose, which helps the reader understand the topic
Organization
the beginning, middle, and conclusion are effectively linked (i.e., Just imagine, Nunavut will
be Canadas newest territory ..., ... when Nunavut is a territory, It is my pleasure to
welcome Nunavut to Canada.)
the paragraphs contain linked ideas
Conventions
the paragraphs, spacing, and handwriting are appropriate
there are only a few minor errors, and the conventions studied are effectively applied
(i.e., punctuation, spelling, generalizations, and verb tense)
Comments
This writing exhibits the characteristics of a level 3 summary in its structure, organization, and
use of conventions. The student has effectively retold the information using a good mix of her
own words and vocabulary from the article.
106
Grade 6
Level 4: Example 1
Welcome, Nunavut! Canadas Newest Territory!

On April 1, 1999, a new member of the Canadian family will be born! A new
territory, called Nunavut, will join Canada. If this is new news to you, you will be very
surprised to learn that people have been discussing this new territory for a number of
years. The Canadians who inhabit the Northwest Territories have polled twice to make
choices concerning Nunavut. Actually, they have even decided what their capital will
be. It is called Iqaluit, which is the biggest community in the territory.
Nunavut is in the coldest and most northern region of Canada. The majority of its
land is frozen. This frozen land is called permafrost. In Nunavut you can also observe
numerous ice caps and glaciers. As you can tell, the people that are to live in Nunavut
will have to dress very warmly.
The majority of the population of Nunavut are Inuit. Actually, near 85% of the
citizens are Inuit. Are you wondering what languages the Inuit people speak? Actually,
the answer is that most of the Inuit are trilingual. They speak English, French, and
Inuktitut. This vernacular tongue has aided in passing on the myths, dancesand songs
that are the records of early Inuit history.
You may believe that because the climate in Nunavut is so exceedingly cold, no
creatures in the wild would survive. That is not so. The land in Nunavut is abundant
with animals that thrive in the harsh environment. One such being is the caribou.
Humans make coats out of their pelts, which are recognized for their warm insulation.
Groups of muskox wander the land. Muskox have dense, rough fur and broad, humped
shoulders. Other animals in Nunavut include foxes, wolves, and grizzly bears. Nunavut
is also home to an immense seal settlement, and also walruses, whales, and polar bears.
Nunavut is also a habitat to a number of astonishing birds, like ducks, geese, swans,
peregrine falcons, and snowy owls. But dont forget those pesty insects! The cold does
not stop them! Even bees, wasps, and (of course) mosquitoes make their
appearance in Nunavut!
We all still have many thing to fathom when it comes to Nunavut. In time we will
come to understand it, though never completely. Welcome, Nunavut! Canadas newest
territory!
107
Teachers Notes
Reasoning
the writer captures all the main messages and provides supporting details
all key concepts (e.g., climate, population) are included and summarized
Communication
the writing engages the reader immediately from the initial sentence
the writer expresses key concepts in an interesting way using his own words
the writer uses descriptive vocabulary that goes well beyond the original text
(e.g., trilingual vernacular)
sentences have variety in length, style, and structure, which makes this report interesting
to read
Organization
there is a high degree of organization (contains an introduction, a body, and a conclusion)
the topic sentences and supporting details are very effective
there is a solid paragraph structure
Conventions
there is effective use of title, paragraphs, and punctuation
the writer has used brackets and italics
there are practically no errors (e.g., thing for things, its for its)
Comments
This writer clearly summarizes the most important information on Nunavut in a non-fiction
report. The information from the article has been reworded and expanded on. The vocabulary
has some sophistication and is accurate. The students voice is evident, as the writer is clearly
appealing to the reader.
108
Grade 6
Level 4: Example 2
Nunavut
Move over Northwest
Territories, we need room for
Canadas newest territory, Nunavut.
On April 1st, 1999 Nunavut will be
joining our list of Canadian
territories. Finally after many years
of decision making, it was decided
that Nunavut would become its
own territory. It was also decided
that Iqaluit would be Nunavuts
capital city, since it was the largest
community in the area. Nunavut
would finally become one of
Canadas territories.
As well as being the newest
addition to Canadas map, Nunavut
has many interesting facts about
itself. Nunavut is the coldest and
farthest north part of Canada. It is
also very large, measuring about
1/5 of the rest of Canada. In this
enormus territory, about half of it is
mainland and the other half are
islands. Most of the land, except the
top layer of the earth, is frozen all
year long. This is called permafrost.
Even though part of the land is
frozen all year round, the lakes and
rivers are not. Just like any other
part of Canada, Nunavuts rivers
and lakes only freeze in winter and
once again flow in summer. There
are also very large glaciers in
Nunavut. They are called
mountain glaciers. Nunavut has
small glaciers too, but the larger
ones are far more interesting.
109
Most of the people who live in Nunavut are Inuit.

In fact, 85% of the population is Inuit. Some of the
languages spoken in Nunavut are French and English,
but the most common language is Inuktitut. It has
been spoken for thousands of years by the Inuits.
During these thousands of years, Inuktitut has been
able to tell stories, legends, etc. better than English or
French ever could.
Nunavut also has many interesting mammals living
there. Some of these mammals are caribou, muskox,
grizzly bears, wolves, foxes, seals, walruses, whales and
polar bears. All of these animals can survive in the
coldest winters because of their thick coats of fur or
Teachers Notes
their large amounts of fat. Also, Nunavut is not

unbearablely cold all year round and the animals arent
fighting the cold for 365 days. The animals of Nunavut
are probably the most fascinating creatures in all of
Canada.
In Nunavut there are many beautiful birds of many
shapes and sizes. Some of the most common kinds of
birds in Nunavut are: the snowy owl, many species of
ducks, geese, swans and the peregrine falcon. There are
many birds, but there are also many insects such as
mosquitoes, wasps and bees. They are very annoying,
but they also pollinate flowers an provide food for the
many beautiful birds.
Nunavut will surely be a wonderful new territory.
Reasoning
the writer understands key concepts such as the importance of a new territory and the
influence of the climate
all key ideas have been captured and summarized
Communication
the introduction is effective and catchy
the writer uses the information from the text but then expands on it (e.g., insects are annoying but also pollinate the plants)
the writer uses complex words (e.g., decision making) and a variety of sentence structures
Organization
each paragraph has an opening and closing sentence that introduce and summarize its ideas
the paragraph structure is solid
Conventions
the report is well presented with a title and paragraphs
effective use of commas is made to provide a flow similar to effective speech
the colon is used correctly
there are practically no errors
Comments
This writer clearly understands the task. The second paragraph is long, but overall the vocabulary, the development of the paragraphs, and the effectiveness of this summary place it as a
level 4.
110
Grade 7
An Advertisement
(for a New Food Product)
An Advertisement
(for a New Food Product)
The Task
Students were asked to write an advertisement for a food magazine describing a new
and exciting food product. The advertisement was intended to persuade a specific
group of consumers/readers of the value of this product. Students were to use an essay
format and to follow the writing process described on pages 6 and 11 of The Ontario
Curriculum, Grades 1 8: Language, 1997. Students were also reminded to check their
communicate ideas and information for a variety of purposes and to specific
audiences;
organize information to develop a central idea, using well-linked and welldeveloped paragraphs;
use a variety of sentence types and sentence structures, and sentences of varying
length;
produce pieces of writing using a variety of specific forms, techniques, and
resources appropriate to the form and purpose, and materials from other media;
revise and edit their work, focusing on content and elements of style;
proofread and correct their final drafts, focusing on grammar, punctuation,
spelling, and conventions of style;
this grade.
use modifiers correctly and with increasing effectiveness;
give evidence of an expanding vocabulary in their writing;
show a growing awareness of the expressiveness of words in their word choice.
112

with the following:
working with adjectives, adverbs, verbs, and nouns so that they fully understand
the function of each
writing descriptive paragraphs in the context of other subject areas (e.g., science,
math, history)
process writing
using a dictionary and a thesaurus
discussing descriptive language used in effective print and radio advertisements
using literary devices in descriptive writing
comparing their work to criteria outlined on task-specific chart like the rubrics
The Process Used

Prewriting, Part 1. Students were asked to pretend that they had been hired by a food
manufacturer to design a new food product for a specific group of consumers. They
brainstormed together to come up with adjectives relating to taste, smell, appearance,
and texture.
Prewriting, Part 2. Using advertisements, recipe books, newspapers, magazines, and
so on, students were asked to collect and identify descriptive phrases, as well as to
identify and discuss examples of literary devices such as onomatopoeia, simile, and
metaphor. These were retained for future reference in students notes or by classroom
posting.
Prewriting, Part 3. Teachers prepared cards that each contained the name of a specific
consumer group (e.g., athletes, seniors, teens, children, busy adults) and, with students working in groups, distributed one card to each group. Using the planning
guide entitled That Great Food in the student package to organize their discussion,
students brainstormed a type of food that would be appropriate or appealing to that
consumer group. Each group brainstormed possible names for the food product
selected, chose one, and then decided on the products packaging and illustrated it.
Prewriting, Part 4. Each group of students wrote a poem, slogan, or song to describe
their food product and presented it orally to the class, using illustration to reinforce
the message. The class then discussed the effective words and phrases used by each
group to describe their products.
Drafting. Students wrote the first drafts of their articles.
Revising. Teachers reviewed with their students the criteria for descriptive or persuasive writing using the checklist included in the student package (or any similar alternative). Students then revised their work accordingly.
Grade 7: An Advertisement
113
Editing. Students edited their own work and then worked in pairs to complete a peer
edit of their work (using the guideline in the student package) before writing their
final copies.
Publishing. Students revised their compositions using the suggestions from their peer
editors and wrote their final copies using resources such as computers, dictionaries,
and thesauruses.
Reflecting. Students reflected on the process they had used by filling out the reflection
sheets provided in their student packages.
114
Grade 7: Rubric for an Advertisement (for a New Food Product)

Categories
Level 1
Level 2
Level 3
Level 4
expresses thoroughly
well-developed ideas
and includes some
that are original
connects almost all
ideas meaningfully
and consistently to
the topic
includes detailed
information that is
clearly relevant to the
topic and convincing
to the reader
Reasoning
The student:
complexity of ideas
expresses only a few

simple ideas
expresses a variety of
simple ideas
expresses many welldeveloped ideas
connecting ideas to
the topic
connects few ideas to

the topic
connects some ideas

to the topic
connects many ideas

to the topic

details
includes few supporting details and some

ideas that are not
important or relevant
to the topic
includes some supporting details and

some ideas that are
important or relevant
to the topic
includes supporting
details that are relevant to the topic
Communication
In the students article:
purpose (to create a

descriptive, persuasive article)
voice (awareness of
audience)
the purpose is
unclear in the introduction
there is no evidence
of who the
audience is
the vocabulary is not
effective
there is little sentence variety
the purpose is somewhat clear in the

introduction
there is little awareness of who the
audience is
there is some effective vocabulary
in the sentences used

and effective in the
introduction
the intended audience is clear
literary devices are

not used
there is little use of

literary devices
some literary devices

are used
a number of literary
devices have been
used effectively
the introduction,
body, and conclusion
are clear and
effective
word use and

vocabulary
sentence variety
(structure, type,
length)
use of literary
devices
much of the vocabulary is used effectively

are used
the purpose is clear,

effective, and engaging in the introduction
an effective appeal is
made to a specific
audience
almost all the words
are used effectively
are used effectively
Organization
The students article:
overall structure
conclusion)
has no clear overall

structure
shows some evidence

of an introduction,
paragraph structure
contains little division into paragraphs
contains simple
paragraphs
the introduction,
are organized to
develop a central
idea
contains welldeveloped paragraphs
Conventions
In the students article:
grammar, spelling,
and punctuation
there are several

major errors or
omissions
the visual presentation is not clear at all
there are several

minor errors

minor errors

no errors
the visual presentation is not always

clear
the visual presentation is clear
the visual presentation is clear and

enhances the content
visual presentation
spacing, margins,
title, highlighting,
italics, font)
contains welldeveloped paragraphs

that are closely
linked to each other
115
Grade 7
Level 1: Example 1
AN ADVERTISEMENT
THE PILL THAT KEEPS YOU

GOING
ATTENTION! ATTENTION! THE
NEW MIRACLE PILL IS FOR SALE.
FOR ONLY $29.99 YOU CAN KEEP
GOING AND NEVER STOP. WITH
THE SPECIAL INGREDIANT
GINSENG. ITS FOR BUSY ADULTS
ALWAYS ON THE RUN. THIS PILL
HAS THE FRUITY TASTE OF
CHERRIES, BLUEBERRIES,
STRAWBERRIES, PINEAPPLE AND
A LITTLE TASTE OF PEACHES. AN
EASY TO TAKE PILL ALL YOU
HAVE TO DO IS PUT IT IN YOUR
MOUTH AND CHEW. FOR 20 PILLS
IN A BOTTLE YOU CAN KEEP
GOING AND NEVER GET TIRED.
IF YOURE A BUSY ADULT AND
NEED SOMETHING TO KEEP YOU
GOING BUY THESE MIRACLE
PILLS. THESE PILLS DO NOT GIVE
YOU DROWSEY. FOR ONLY $29.99
YOU CAN GET A BOTTLE OF
MIRALE PILLS.
Teachers Notes
Reasoning
the writer expresses a few simple undeveloped ideas
the reason why the pill is a miracle is not explained
there are few supporting details that are relevant to the topic
Communication
the vocabulary used is simple (e.g., put it in your mouth and chew)
literary devices are not used
there is limited variety in the sentences used
Organization
the introduction is not supported by the closing
ideas are not connected in paragraphs
ideas are not related to each other
Conventions
there are several major errors (e.g., These pills do not give you drowsey.)
the visual presentation is not clear (e.g., there is no reason for the division into two sections)
Comments
This piece of writing expresses a few simple undeveloped ideas. The details do not support the
topic presented in the title. There is no clear overall paragraph structure.
116
Grade 7
Level 1: Example 2
AN ADVERTISEMENT
Juicy, smooth chunks of delicious

vegetables waiting in a jar of baby
pizzaria. We invented this new kind of
baby food to give babies all the nutrients
they need, in a jar of our new pizza
flavoured baby food.
For all you moms out there this food
will be good for your babies so they can
get all the vitamins they need, to help
them grow and develop into a strong
healthy kid.
The discription of this product is its
reddish orange, comes in a jar and it
tastes like pizza with chunks of meat
and vegetables in it.
You moms out there should buy this
product because it gives your babies the
vitamins and nutrients they need, they
also get all their vegetables so please buy
this product it will make your baby
healthy and strong.
Teachers Notes
Reasoning
the writer presents a few simple ideas
nutrition seems to be the central idea, but this is not developed
a few details connect to the topic
Communication
there is some awareness of the audience (e.g., you moms out there)
the vocabulary used is simple and there is no evidence of the use of literary devices
Organization
the development of paragraphs is limited
the second paragraph repeats the ideas of the first
the writer appears to be responding to prompts
there is an attempt to summarize the message in the conclusion
Conventions
there are major errors (e.g., a run-on sentence in the last paragraph)
there are spelling and grammatical errors (e.g., discription)
Comments
The piece contains a few simple but repeated ideas supported by a few relevant details. The
message is not focused. There is some awareness of the audience. There is no attempt to use
descriptive words.
117
Grade 7
Level 2: Example 1
AN ADVERTISEMENT
Take a bite out of fright.

Through out the world there is a
need for something effortless and
quick for us, teens. Now we have
found it! Its fright night bites.
A product made for you.
In the middle there is a messy,
sloppy burger. Around this fulsome
burger are mini tacos with a choice
of any toppings. Along with the
tacos are a heap of delicious fries
with tornado-like whipped sauce.
With a big BANG it blasts your
tastebuds. Its the best cut for your
bucks. Fright night bites is delicioso
with every bite leaving you wanting
more but youre too full. You would
want to stock up on it because its
extra filling.
This mouth-watering finger
food is a product no food lover
should ever be without.
118
Teachers Notes
Reasoning
the writer expresses a variety of simple ideas
some details are not relevant but even the relevant details are not all effective (much of the
description is not logical for a finger food)
the fright aspect is not clear
Communication
there is some attempt to use descriptive words (e.g., tornado-like); however, some adjectives are not effective (e.g., messy, sloppy)
the writer identifies the audience as teens and attempts to appeal to that group
Organization
the writing includes an introduction, a body, and a conclusion
the topics of individual paragraphs do not necessarily support the main idea
Conventions
there are several major errors in language conventions and several sentence fragments;
some sentences do not make sense (e.g., Its the best cut for your bucks.)
Comments
The writer attempts to appeal to a specific audience, but the description is not effective.
The writer does not explain how the food is quick.
119
Grade 7
Level 2: Example 2
AN ADVERTISEMENT
Are you working hard? Do you

want something that is hot? I dont
think so. I would want something
cold, soft and refreshing like ICE-ACHANGE.
Are you wondering what Ice-aChange is? Its ice cream with syrup
on it, but whan the syrup hits the
ice cream, it changes colours. Blue,
yellow, red, green, and purple are
some of them.
Ice-a-Change is a good thing to
have around the house, like when
you have a party. The syrup is only
4g of fat, when it is on the icecream. You can buy the syrup in a
box of 24 and it only costs $15.00,
and I say that is cheep.
Ice-a-Change is cold, soft, and
refreshing, so buy it today.
120
Teachers Notes
Reasoning
the writer presents a few simple ideas and includes some relevant details
some of the logic is weak (e.g., 4g of fat, when it is on the ice-cream)
the idea of refreshing is not developed
Communication
there is little awareness of who the audience is
the vocabulary used is simple (e.g., a good thing to have around the house)
Organization
the introduction attempts to appeal to the reader but is confusing
there is little connection between the introduction and the conclusion
details are presented in paragraphs but are not connected within the paragraphs
Conventions
there are several minor spelling and grammatical errors (e.g., whan for when, cheep
for cheap, and like when you have a party)
Comments
The central idea is creative and believable but needs to be developed. Some of the supporting
details are relevant, but not all of the explanations are logical. More attention to grammar and
punctuation is needed.
121
Grade 7
Level 3: Example 1
AN ADVERTISEMENT
Some kids really hate to brush

their teeth. Thats why the new
brushinator is so terrific. It makes
kids actualy want to brush their
teeth. Its a cool new way to have
fantastic oral hygiene.
The brushinator is a edible
toothbrush. First, you open up the
package, and pull out the
toothbrush and free bubble gum
flavored toothpaste. Then brush
your teeth with the brushinator,
as you would your normal
toothbrush. After that you just eat
the toothbrush. Its a simple as that!
Now I know you must be
wondering, Isnt bad to eat right
after you brush? Not anymore!
When you eat the brushinator it
helps to clean your teeth! Its
amazing!
Plus, the brushinator comes
in five fruity flavors; lime, grape,
cherry, strawberry and apple, and
they all taste scrumptous! Its healty
and tastes great at the same time!
Dont wait, get your terrific
brushinator today!!!
122
Teachers Notes
Reasoning
the writer expresses well-developed ideas supported with relevant details
the writer anticipates questions of the reader and responds logically
Communication
there is clear evidence of the writers voice and appeals to the audience
dialogue is used effectively
much of the vocabulary is used effectively
Organization
the introduction, body, and conclusion are organized to develop a central idea
paragraphs connect related ideas and have clear topic sentences
the final paragraph should be divided into two paragraphs
Conventions
there are a few minor errors in spelling (e.g., actualy and healty)
the writer uses underlining and punctuation for effect
missing words indicate the need for a more careful final edit
Comments
This piece develops the description in a creative and interesting way. The message is clear and
an appeal is made to the reader.
123
Grade 7
Level 3: Example 2
AN ADVERTISEMENT
Sports Creation Of the Year!!

Do you get tired after walking? Are you exhausted just watching sports? Pop one
of these wonder vitamins in your mouth and Donovan Bailey will seem like a turtle.
This vivid vitamin may seem like a dream but it is far from it. It is cool, crisp,
creative, colorful and will make you more athletic just reading about it! This alluring
as french perfume creation is made by the intelligent, intellectual, inventive and
innovative staff at B/G sports company and athletic specialists. The new as powerful
as atomic energy vitamin is the one and only Athletilize.
Youre probably wondering if this imaginative invention will taste like a block of
sugar. The hyper vitamin is packed with nutrients and minerals that have been tested
and quarantined. This vitamin has enriched, all natural, enhanced fibres that
naturally boost your mental and physical athletic ability. This vital vitamin is
inexpensive and safe for athletes of all ages. It is anti-allergenic and has no side
effects. The power-packed vitamin is low fat and contains absolutely, positively no
sugar whatsoever. It has no artificial sweeteners, flavors or colors. This creation is
perfectly all natural.
Through extensive testing we have scientific proof that this 100% natural
product will increase your athletic energy and pump up your athletic ability to a
maximum. Athletilize is under no circumstances addictive. These pills can be
harmful in one situation. You may only have one pill one hour before beginning an
athletic event. You may not take them as an energy pill to avoid sleep. As is with
everything, too much of this product will cause severe illness and insomnia. So keep
in mind the rules while youre out there having fun!
Athletilize is a product of B/G sports company and athletic specialists.

Copyright 1998
Athletic Magazine
124
Teachers Notes
Reasoning
the writer expresses well-developed ideas
most details are relevant except cool and creative
description is logical and includes cautions about the use of the product
Communication
the purpose is clearly explained in the introduction
the vocabulary used is effective (e.g., enhanced, alluring)
literary devices such as alliteration and similes are used
some exaggerated humour is used effectively (e.g., will make you more athletic just reading
about it)
Organization
introduction, body, and conclusion are organized to develop a central idea
paragraphs are generally well developed, but could have clearer links between topic sentences and summary sentences
a variety of sentence structure enhances the message
Conventions
the visual presentation is clear and creative (e.g., Copyright 1998, Athletic Magazine)
there are only a few minor spelling and grammatical errors
Comments
This piece contains ideas that are well developed in depth and detail. The writing is descriptive
and persuasive.
125
Grade 7
Level 4: Example 1
AN ADVERTISEMENT
The Fabulous Fruit Chew

Introducing a new twist that will spoil your tastebuds! Finally a delicious snack
that is actually good for you. You heard it right! The new Fabulous Fruit Chew is
loaded with vitamins and minerals that burst with energy. Doctors reccomend this
snack for busy adults and seniors who have too much to accomplish, but not enough
energy. All you have to do, is include the Fabulous Fruit Chew in your diet once a
day for vitamins and lasting energy to help you get through your busy days.
The Fabulous Fruit Chew is brimming with luscious, fresh fruit flavours. Savour
the bounty of the exquisite taste and aromatic scent! The whole of the bar is
combined of dehydrated strips of fresh fruit in various flavours. It is smooth in
texture and has a unique appearance as well as a delightful taste. We guarentee, its as
tasty as biting into a freshly picked fruit. The Fabulous Fruit Chew is simply
pleasing, with its heavenly aroma, it will surely lure you into the delectable, yet
delicate and extremely healthy product. Our irresistible flavours will definitely tickle
your tastebuds: presumptuous peach, luscious lemon, savory strawberry,
magnanimous melon, pleasurable peach and many more. If you think thats
positively uplifting, just wait! Along with each tantalizing flavour comes a package of
heavenly real cool whip. Squeeze on the alluring topping and indulge yourself in
this devine, toothsome treat.
Overall, I think that busy adults and seniors should purchase the Fabulous Fruit
Chew because it is extremely healthy and includes important essential nutrients,
vitamins, minerals and energy for the everyday lives of adults and seniors. It is
packed with real fruit flavour and devine cool whip toppings. It is also completely
denture safe and will not stick or pull out dental work. We guarentee our consumers
on the quality of the Fabulous Fruit Chew, however if you are not satisfied we will
gladly refund your money and supply you with a new box of the product, because
you deserve the best!
126
Teachers Notes
Reasoning
detailed information is clearly relevant to the topic and convincing to the reader (the writer
identifies the product as delicious and good for you, and supports these ideas effectively)
the writer expresses a well-developed, original idea
Communication
there is strong evidence of appeal to a specific audience
the introduction engages the reader
almost all words are used effectively (e.g., dehydrated, delectable)
there is effective use of alliteration in naming the flavours
a variety of sentence structures enhances the description
Organization
there is a clear introduction, body, and conclusion
the introduction is engaging and the conclusion reinforces the message
paragraphs are well developed with topic sentences and supporting detail
Conventions
spelling errors are evident (e.g., reccomend and guarentee), but the words misspelled
are generally difficult
there are only a few grammatical errors (e.g., We guarentee our consumers on the quality)
Comments
The writer has well-developed and creative ideas. Details are used effectively to maintain interest.
127
Grade 7
Level 4: Example 2
AN ADVERTISEMENT
Its dinner time and you want

to make something easy and yet
nutritious. You decide on a delectable
dish made of chicken. Everyone is
called up for dinner and things are
going fine until Robbie says, What
is for dinner?
Oh no, he cries, Not chicken
again. I hate that stuff! I want
hot dogs.
But hot dogs arent good for
you, you protest while trying to
calm him down. You can have
them for lunch tomorrow.
But I want them now!
Robbie stammers as he runs crying
to his room.
This entire scene could have
been prevented if you had
Wienermans Hero Dogs. Theyre as
healthy as an entire meal and as
scrumptious as a normal hot dog.
These tantilizing wieners are
different because they are 100% real
meat. Unlike ordinary frankfurters
these hot dogs have no fillers, byproducts, or MSG. These wieners
give your children the vitamins,
minerals, and nutrition that they
need and give you, the parent, the
reassurance that you are feeding
your children properly! Wienerman
Hero Dogs come in five savoury
flavours; Burly Beef, Tough Turkey,
Courageous Chicken, Flawless Fish,
and Tiku Tofu.
So if your child is like Robbie
then be sure to buy new Wienerman
Hero Dogs at your local grocery
store.
128
Teachers Notes
Reasoning
the writer presents the product in a logical way and builds a persuasive argument
the details are relevant and enhance the argument
Communication
the writer engages the reader with an interesting introduction
the writer uses dialogue effectively
the writer shows awareness of audience and anticipates and responds to potential questions
and concerns
the writer uses alliteration effectively in the names of the flavours
Organization
paragraph structure is used, although one paragraph is long
the writer presents a clear introduction, body, and conclusion
a more definite summary is required in the conclusion
Conventions
dialogue is used accurately
there are almost no errors in spelling, punctuation, and grammar
Comments
This piece uses stylistic devices to create reader appeal. The food product is creative and
realistic. The details support the idea of a healthy substitute food product.
129
Grade 8
An Opinion Piece
(a Letter to the Editor)
An Opinion Piece
(a Letter to the Editor)
The Task
Students were asked to write a letter to the editor giving an opinion about a current
issue. They were reminded to support their points of view with relevant facts and to
be clear and persuasive. They were to use the writing process described on pages 6
and 11 of The Ontario Curriculum, Grades 18: Language, 1997. Students were
reminded to check their work for errors in spelling, grammar, and punctuation.
communicate ideas and information for a variety of purposes and to specific audiences, using forms appropriate for their purpose and features appropriate to the
form;
use writing for various purposes and in a range of contexts (e.g., to clarify
personal concerns and to explore social issues);
organize information and ideas creatively as well as logically, using paragraph structures (e.g., to develop a comparison or establish a cause-and-effect relationship);
use a wide variety of sentence types and sentence structures, with conscious
attention to style;
revise and edit their work independently or using feedback from their peers;
proofread and correct their final drafts, focusing on grammar, spelling, punctuation, and conventions of style;
use correctly the conventions (e.g., grammar, punctuation, spelling) specified for
this grade.
During this task, students focused on the first three overall expectations and worked
on the following selected expectations in specific areas from the Grade 8 curriculum:
use more complex sentence structures correctly;
select and use their words with increasing sophistication and effectiveness.
132

with the following:
writing letters
opportunities to state their opinions and support their opinions with reasons
previous experiences with process writing
using a dictionary and thesaurus when writing
The Process Used

Prewriting, Part 1. Students compared sample letters from newspapers or the Internet
to determine what makes an effective letter to the editor using a work sheet entitled
Reviewing Letters to the Editor in the student package. The class identified the differences in format among letters to the editor, friendly letters, and business letters.
Students brainstormed current issues (global, school, or community), recorded them
on chart paper, and identified the issues that concerned them most. They then worked
in pairs to research a selected issue using the Research Guide in the student package
(or a similar alternative).
Prewriting, Part 2. Using the following cooperative learning strategy, students learned
to support their opinions with facts.
Four Corners
Four locations in the classroom were designated as Strongly Agree, Agree Somewhat,
Mildly Disagree, and Strongly Disagree.
Strongly
Agree
Agree
Somewhat
Mildly
Disagree
Strongly
Disagree
The teacher then made a statement about a movie, book, or TV show (e.g., the best film of
the decade), and students went to the location that matched their opinion. As a group, students discussed the reasons for their opinions and presented their points of view to the
class. They then tried to persuade others to agree with them. Students were allowed to
change their corners as their opinions changed.
Grade 8: An Opinion Piece
133
Reviewing the criteria. Teachers reviewed with their students the criteria for an
effective letter using a checklist included in the student package (or any similar
alternative).
Drafting. Students wrote their letters to the editor using the work sheet First Draft of
My Letter to the Editor in the student package.
Editing. Students edited their work and then worked in pairs to complete a peer edit
of their work (using the guideline in the student package) before writing their final
copies.
Publishing. Students revised their compositions using the suggestions from their peer
editors and wrote their final copies using resources such as computers, dictionaries,
and thesauruses.
Reflecting. Students reflected on the process they had used by filling out the reflection
sheets provided in their student packages.
134
Grade 8: Rubric for an Opinion Piece (a Letter to the Editor)

Categories
Level 1
Level 2
Level 3
Level 4
Reasoning
The student:
complexity of ideas
writes a few simple,

undeveloped ideas
writes and develops a

variety of simple ideas
exploration of social
issues and clarification of personal concerns
number and relevance
of supporting details
states facts about a

social issue, but
shows little understanding of it
provides very few
facts supporting his or
her point of view
shows some understanding of a social

issue
writes and develops

ideas of some
complexity
shows understanding
and personal concern
about a social issue
provides some supporting evidence for

his or her point of view
supports his or her

point of view with
relevant facts
develops ideas fully to

create greater
understanding
shows thorough
understanding and
commitment about a
social issue
supports his or her
point of view fully with
relevant facts
Communication
The students letter:
purpose (to express

an opinion in a letter
to the editor)
voice (opinion)
states facts
attempts to persuade
is persuasive
is very persuasive
contains no clear opinion or point of view
contains an opinion
somewhat clearly
expressed
contains an opinion or
point of view
expressed clearly
clarity and precision

of ideas
contains few ideas

and facts clearly
stated
contains ideas and

facts that are mostly
clearly stated
word use and

vocabulary
contains little or no
evidence of new
vocabulary
contains some ideas

and facts clearly
stated, but which may
be repetitive
contains some new
vocabulary
sentence variety
(structure, type, length)
relies on one sentence

type
contains a variety of
sentences
contains a wide variety

of sentences
contains an opinion or
point of view
expressed clearly and
convincingly
contains all or almost
all ideas and facts
clearly and concisely
stated
contains new words or
special terminology
that supports the opinion presented
contains a wide variety
of sentences used
effectively
Organization
In the students letter:
overall structure
conclusion)
there is no clear
overall structure or
organization
very little attempt has
been made to define
the issue in the
introduction
there is some evidence

of a structure or
organization
the issue is mentioned
in the introduction, but
is not clearly defined
the organization is logical and appropriate
there is no summary
or clear call to action
some attempt has

been made to summarize the issue
the final paragraph

summarizes the issue
and suggests further
action
the organization supports the purpose and

enhances the argument
the introduction
clearly defines the
issue, captures the
readers attention, and
is connected to the
conclusion
the issue is summarized and the action
required is clear and
compelling
there are several

minor errors or
omissions
some aspects of the

minor errors or
omissions
the visual presentation
is appropriate

no errors or
omissions
the visual presentation
is effective
Conventions
In the students letter:
grammar, spelling,
punctuation
there are several

major errors or
omissions
few aspects of the
visual presentation
spacing, margins, letter format, italics, font)
contains vocabulary
that suits the purpose
and audience
the issue is defined in

the introduction, and
the introduction and
conclusion are connected
135
Grade 8
Level 1: Example 1
A LETTER TO THE EDITOR
Would you?
Dear Editor,
What do you think about school uniforms in your school? Would you wear
them? Or would you switch schools?
I think that if students wear these uniforms it will give the school more respect.
Also I think that if our students in our society wont care about there indivduality.
If students wear these uniforms it will give respect to them. I also think that the
students self-estem will be better because they wont have to worry being in fashion.
If students in our society wear these uniforms there will be a decrease of the sales
in clothes. This will make students not make fun of other students.
If all students wear the same clothes wont make fun of other students because
they will be wearing the same cothes. This will make the students feel better.
I think that if we put a stop to the uniforms then the teasing will still go onto the
students. We need to take action know and prevent the teasing.
We have to be responsisble for our actions.If we dont stop the name calling,
not wearing the same clothes, and inbcreasing the sale prices of clothes this will all
happen.
Teachers Notes
Reasoning
the writer does not take a definite position on the issue
the writers argument is not persuasive
details and facts tend to support both sides of the issue
Communication
the writers opinion is not clear
there is no evidence of the use of new vocabulary, and most of the words used are simple
there is overuse of the sentence form beginning If students
Organization
there is evidence of some beginning paragraph structure as sentences are connected in
pairs
individual paragraphs have no clear focus
an attempt is made in the introduction to define the issues
there is no summary or call to action
Conventions
some incomplete thoughts are presented as sentences
there are several major errors in spelling and grammar (e.g., the teasing will still go onto
the students, there for their, and know for now)
Comments
There is no clear opinion stated and no development of an argument. The details are not clear,
and the ideas are not organized. There are several major errors in language conventions.
136
Grade 8
Level 1: Example 2
Thrusday May 28 1998

lhe Toronto Star
% Letters to the editor
1 Young Street
Toronto, Ontario
M5E 1E6
Dear Editor
Do you relize lhat the amount of
violence on TV. That kids are
coping it every day. Why are TV
shows and movies so violent.
TV shows and some movies for
young kids are getting to violent.
The Young kids are copying what is
on tv and killing innocent kids or
Adults.
I Think that lhey should cut
back on lhe amount of people
getting killed on some shows
mostly lhe ones that little people
(small kid) watch. like on some
shows people are getting killed and
Fieghting lhrow the hole show and
movie like power Rangers and
shows like that.
If we dont take action kids will
lhink lhat is is cool to kill or injur
people when its actually not.
137
Teachers Notes
Reasoning
the writer shows a beginning level of understanding of an issue using simple logic
facts presented are not supported with evidence (e.g., The Young kids are copying what is
on tv ...)
Communication
the writer has a clear opinion, but the syntax and vocabulary cloud the clarity
only simple sentences are used
Organization
there is some evidence of structure
the conclusion does not suggest a solution to the issue defined in the introduction
Conventions
there are many errors in spelling and grammar (e.g., to for too, fieghting for fighting)
and errors in punctuation (e.g., omission of a question mark)
the format for a letter is evident
Comments
This student has written some opinions without supporting them with facts. The simple vocabulary and weak syntax and structure match the level 1 descriptors.
138
Grade 8
Level 2: Example 1
Dear editor
What would you do if you went
to get a drink of water and the
water was brown and contaminated.
That is what will happen if we dont
take care of our water supply.
In my opinion industries create
lots of air polution. This polution
gets into the water cycle by
evaporating and then cooling to
form clouds. It falls to the ground
in the form of acid rain. I hope this
dosent happen because it could kill
many animals that we eat. The acid
rain gets into the water cycle by
seeping into the water table.This
could even effect golf courses.
Eventualy the rain flows into the
sea this could kill fish and I like
fishing. The contaminated water the
evaporates and continues the cycle.
If we dont do anything about
this our water will get contaminated
and undrinkable and all life will
becaus everything needs water and
if you drink contaminated water
you will get sick and if you dont
drink water you will dehydrate.
So join my fight to keep our
water clean. Help with a community
clean up.
139
Teachers Notes
Reasoning
the writer writes and develops a few simple ideas (the water cycle)
the writer presents some facts to support the need to protect the water, but this argument is
not focused
different facts and opinions detract from the logic of the argument (e.g., I like fishing)
Communication
the letter attempts to persuade
there is some use of specific language (e.g., seeping into the water table)
some ideas are clearly stated
Organization
the issue is mentioned in the introduction but is not clearly defined
there is evidence of an introduction, body, and conclusion
the issue is not summarized in the conclusion
Conventions
there are several minor errors in grammar (e.g., all life will becaus everything needs
water) and some spelling errors (e.g., dosent, eventualy), and punctuation errors (no
question marks)
the writer includes a number of run-on sentences
Comments
The letter presents an argument and facts to support it, but the position taken is not clear.
The conclusion doesnt summarize the issue. Different issues in the introduction (e.g., golf
courses, fishing) detract from the main issue.
140
Grade 8
Level 2: Example 2
Dear Editor,
Do you understand why we have to wear those
pain in the neck bike helmets? Me either.
I myself dont wear a bike helmet and I dont see
why a teen of any age should have to wear one
either. When most people become teenagers they
start to mature and quit driving bikes like a
wild child.
In my opinion, only children under the age of
12 should have to wear them. I feel this way
because most kids around this age are still a little
bit wacked and doing crazy things. Also most
children around the age of 6 and under are probably
still learning to ride a bike. The law people should
also do something about that fine, maybe, like
lowering it. If they dont change the laws and they
Teachers Notes
keep the age at 16, the police should have a choice

whether to stop the kid or just give him a friendly
wave. If the person is driving safely dont stop him,
but if he is driving like a crazy wild child, I give
them all rights to stop them or give him a warning.
Sure a helmet will protect your head, but if
youre driving slowly and safely I dont see why we
have to wear them. One consequence though would
be, that there are still some crazy drivers and with
one wrong turn of the wheel, well you never know.
In conclusion, I would like to say that, if you
feel that you can drive a bike without having too
bad of an accident, that you should have a choice
whether or not to wear one.
Sincerely,
Reasoning
the letter represents the opinion that teens should not have to wear bike helmets
the writer does not provide specific facts, but relies only on opinion to support the position
some ideas cloud the issue (e.g., crazy drivers)
Communication
some ideas are clearly stated but are repetitive
the writer uses very simple vocabulary (e.g., law people)
there is an attempt to persuade, but the argument is not convincing
Organization
the issue is mentioned in the introduction but is not clearly defined
there is some evidence of structure, but the issue is not summarized
the conclusion is weak and conditional on circumstances
Conventions
there are several major errors in conventions (e.g., without having too bad of an accident)
the use of colloquialisms is distracting (e.g., like lowering it, wacked)
there are several punctuation errors (e.g., one wrong turn of the wheel, well you never know)
Comments
There is an attempt to persuade but the argument is not convincing. There are no relevant facts
or details to persuade the reader. The author seems to be discussing many sides of the issue.
The major errors in the use of language conventions detract from the message.
141
Grade 8
Level 3: Example 1
Dear Editor,
Picture walking down any major street in a big city,
in any country. Have you ever not been approached
by a homeless person begging for money in these
situations? I didnt think so. And what do we do?
Ignore them. Most people are afraid they will be
mugged or harmed if they stop to offer a handout to
these people. Go get yourself a nice hot meal. one
might say, but what about tomorrow? We cant let
these people depend on handouts from passersby
on street.
Stats Canada states that 31% of all homeless or
poor people are single mothers with infants or
young children. What are they to do? Give up their
children so they can afford a house and food? Why
should they be punished like that? Donations and
shelters have been established but, they dont seem
to be doing anything.
Crime rates may be increasing due to people
stealing or killing to get what they want. Suicide
Teachers Notes
rates may increase due to such people taking their

own lives because theyve given up hope and dont
want to live like this anymore. It is really very sad.
Welfare may be an option for people who just dont
have enough, but what about people who dont
have anything? We need to think about this, we
need to take action.
What I think todays society can do is find some
way to start an organization with corporate support
that can provide such people with money, basic
necessities, and housing. Maybe then, we can give
these people jobs and they can start a real life. If
we try hard enough, and if we care about not only
being safe from such people who are dangerous
but, for the welfare of these unfortunate people
then surely we can accomplish something that will
give these people hope and a chance to have a
decent life.
Reasoning
the writer expresses a personal concern and an understanding of the issue
the writer uses some relevant facts to support the argument
Communication
the vocabulary used is persuasive (e.g., punished, basic necessities)
the writer uses dialogue and a variety of sentence types
some language is not clear (e.g., Have you ever not been approached ...?)
Organization
the issue is defined in the introduction and the introduction is connected to the conclusion
the arguments are presented logically; however, some points are not supported (e.g.,
Donations and shelters have been established but, they dont seem to be doing anything.)
the conclusion summarizes the issue and suggests further action
Conventions
there are a few minor errors in punctuation (e.g., We need to think about this, we need to
take action.)
Comments
The writing communicates some personal concern and some understanding of the issues
involved.
142
Grade 8
Level 3: Example 2
Dear Editor,
Would you like to be the next victim of teen
violence? As the law stands right now, once you are
eighteen, you are considered an adult and you
receive adult sentences. The government wants to
change the law so fourteen year olds and up can
receive adult sentences. I agree. I will explain the
following supports through out my letter; Teens
know they wont get in a lot of trouble, they think
its okay to be violent and all teens know that
violence is wrong.
Teens know they will not get in a lot of trouble
if they commit a crime such as murder because the
maximum sentence they could receive right now is
five years in juvinile detention. This does not seem
like a long time when you think about it. If an adult
were to do the same crime, they could end up
receiving life in prison.
Young offenders think its okay to be violent
because they see their idols doing it on television
and movies. If the Young Offenders Act changes the
age to fourteen, maybe teens will realize that its
more serious then some people think and that their

idols are doing the wrong thing, even though they
are just acting.
Adolescents know that committing a crime is
wrong. They know this through education (health
and guidance classes), their parents and the
community. If they are mature enough to get a
drivers license and a job, then they should be
mature enough to know what is right and wrong.
If society doesnt do something about changing
the age from eighteen to fourteen for young
offenders to be able to receive adult sentences, the
world will have a higher death rate. Teens will think
Oh! I just murdered someone and all I got was five
years in Juvinile detention. They will probably
commit another crime when they get out!
I think its time that the government has
realized, if the young offenders are mature enough
to get their drivers license, then they are mature
enough to go to adult prison, and learn what its
really like to serve a sentence.
143
Teachers Notes
Reasoning
the writer shows some understanding of and personal concern about the issue
the writer supports her opinion with relevant facts
the writer develops ideas of some complexity and expresses them clearly and persuasively
Communication
most ideas are clearly stated with a few minor errors
the vocabulary used suits the audience (e.g., adolescents, mature)
Organization
the issue is defined in the introduction and the introduction is connected to the conclusion
the conclusion summarizes the issue and suggests further action
the argument is logically presented with a different point developed in each paragraph
a few minor clarifications in logic are required (e.g., they think its okay to be violent and all
teens know that violence is wrong)
Conventions
there are only a few minor errors in grammar (e.g., I think its time that the government has
realized, I will explain the following supports), in spelling (e.g., Juvinile, offenders), and
in punctuation
Comments
This letter states a clear opinion and suggests further action on the part of the reader. Most of
the ideas and facts are clearly stated and supported with relevant details. Further editing to
correct mistakes in language conventions is needed.
144
Grade 8
Level 4: Example 1
Nuclear Weapons and Testing will Plunge Us Into a Global Fallout

Dear Editor,
We now have a new member of the nuclear club,
India. This should come as no surprise.
In 1995 India was denied the right to test
nuclear weapons, and enter the nuclear race. Today,
three years later, India has started to test anyway,
which seems to me to be much more frightening.
If India has the technology, why need to prove it
to the western world? They are basically telling the
western countries that third-world countries are
now capable of testing and building weapons of
mass destruction. This seems to me to look like an
unnecessary flex of political muscle and strikes me
as a very dangerous and childish act.
Teachers Notes
Where will it end? Other political unstable

countries will follow Indias example, and soon
every middle-eastern country will be building and
testing nuclear weapons.
If we do not stop India and similar countries,
it may be too late, and we will all suffer the
consequences. We have seen the horror of this
weapon in the past; now we are seeing it again.
The only answer is the abolition of all our weapons
of mass destruction.
What is the point of possessing these weapons?
In my opinion a world where everyone has weapons
of mass destruction will not survive for long.
Reasoning
the writer develops his ideas to create greater understanding
the writer shows understanding of and commitment to the social issue (e.g., strikes me as a
very dangerous and childish act)
Communication
the writers point of view is explained in a persuasive way; however, the writer could have
included more supporting details and facts
facts are presented clearly and concisely
Organization
the introduction defines the issue and is connected to the conclusion
the issue is summarized, and the further action required is clear
Conventions
there are practically no errors other than political unstable
there is correct use of the semicolon
Comments
The student has written a persuasive letter presenting a complex social issue in a clear, concise
format. More specific facts to support the opinion would make it even more convincing. For
example, why should this come as no surprise and what evidence is there to show that other
countries will follow Indias example?
145
Grade 8
Level 4: Example 2
Dear Editor,
I believe that the prices for recreational activities
are outrageous! People are saying that Canadas
children are becoming couch potato kids, but
really all thats happening is that the kids parents
are taking one look at the sport prices and turning
the other way!
In our small town, prices are sky-high! For
figure skating you have to pay a user fee (for the
use of the ice), group lesson fees, and, if you are a
high-level skater, you need a pair of $500 skates. If
you really want to improve, you need to pay again
for Club Ice, and private lessons for 15 minutes,
it costs about $8.00, per lesson. Then there are
those darn expensive competitions!
Ive been told that were lucky to live in a small
town, because in cities, prices are even higher! I say,
that if the prices rise much more theyll be standing
on the moon, waving at us!
As for hockey, well, the hockey players pay
more for their equipment than the rest altogether.
In our small town they pay about $600 for (good)
146
equipment, and about $160 more to sign up. On

the other hand, in Thunder Bay, it costs almost
$500 just to try out! What is this? The price is
wrong?
We have one small pool here, and its not even
indoors. So why do we have to pay $2.50 per swim,
when two years ago it was about $2.00? That really
adds up over the summer.
At the closest indoor pool, it costs around $5.00
for kids, and $7.00 for adults. How many people
love traveling so much that theyll drive for an hour
every weekend (or less), to spend two hours in an
indoor pool? More than youd expect, thats for sure!
If we dont do something about the prices of
recreational sports, the children of Canada will
become couch potatoes. What can we do? We can
fund raise. We can help the children who already
do (not that its only kids, its adults as well). If you
dont help, well, then dont complain when your kid
is a couch potato.
Sincerely,
Teachers Notes
Reasoning
the writer shows a thorough understanding of and commitment to the issue
the writer supports her point of view fully with relevant facts (e.g., costs of figure skating,
hockey, and swimming)
Communication
the letter is very persuasive with well-supported and convincing arguments
the sentence variety strengthens the writers voice; short questions add impact
Organization
there is a clear introduction, body, and conclusion
the introduction clearly defines the issue, captures the readers attention, and is connected to
the conclusion
the body consists of a logical presentation of facts and examples to support the opinion
the conclusion summarizes the issue and calls for action
Conventions
the visual presentation is effective
there are only a few minor errors (e.g., hockey players pay more for their equipment than
the rest altogether [the rest of what?] and ... and private lessons for 15 minutes, it costs
about ...)
Comments
The writers point of view is clearly stated and well supported by facts. The ideas are logically
presented in a convincing way. There are practically no errors in the use of language conventions.
147
Glossary
achievement. The demonstration of a students learning at a given time. The comments on the writing tasks included in this booklet reflect student achievement at the
end of the grade.
assessment. Assessment is the process of gathering information from a variety of
sources and providing students with descriptive feedback. Assessment that involves
the gathering of data related to students experiences as they work towards the curriculum expectations may be called process assessment. Assessment that involves the gathering of information related to the specific end result, or product, of a learning
process is called product assessment. Peer assessment, which involves the giving and
receiving of feedback among students, is an important part of the writing process.
communication. In the exemplars project, communication was assessed based on
the following components: the writers awareness of purpose, evidence of the writers
voice, the selection of vocabulary, the sentence structure and variety, the clarity and
precision of ideas, and the use of literary devices.
criteria. The identified elements of a student product that show the different levels
of task performance. For example, the degree of complexity of ideas is one of the
criteria that was used to assess student writing. The exemplars project used criterionreferenced assessment.
exemplar. Work or performance by a student that demonstrates a particular level of
achievement. The levels of achievement stated on page 9 of The Ontario Curriculum,
Grades 18, Language, 1997 give teachers brief descriptions of four levels of student
achievement on which they can base their assessments of students work.
expectations. The statements of the knowledge and skills that students are expected
to learn and demonstrate in their class work and in the activities used to assess their
achievement. The expectations for the writing tasks in the exemplars project come
from The Ontario Curriculum, Grades 1 8: Language, 1997.
reasoning. In the exemplars project, reasoning was assessed as the ability of the
writer to develop ideas and content. This included the following components: the
complexity of ideas, the connection of the ideas to the topic or story line, the number
and relevance of supporting facts and details, and the writers understanding of the
topic, main idea, or issue.
rubric. A scoring scale, which is a set of achievement criteria and descriptions of
levels of quality used to evaluate students work or to guide students to desired performance levels.
self-assessment. Students own assessment of their personal progress in knowledge,
skills, or processes. As a student works through the writing process, he or she needs
to revise and edit his or her own writing and monitor the steps of the writing process.
149
standard. A description of student performance that outlines a high level of achievement of the curriculum expectations. In Ontario, level 3 is the provincial standard.
voice. In the exemplars project, voice was assessed as the extent to which the
writer was able to reveal a distinctive identity, personality, or individual style in the
writing. This included the following components: opinions, feelings, attitudes, content, style, vocabulary, the use of the writers own words, and awareness of audience.
150
The Ministry of Education and Training wishes to acknowledge the contribution of

the many individuals, groups, and organizations that participated in the development
and refinement of this resource document.
The Ontario Curriculum Exemplars: Student Writing Samples, Grades 18, 1999
151

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Ministry of Education

The Ontario Curriculum Exemplars

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How the Rubrics Were Developed and Applied . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

How the Samples Were Selected . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Using the Writing Samples . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

The Writing Tasks . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Student Writing Tasks and Samples

Grade 2: A Short Narrative (My Adventure) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Grade 3: A Letter (to a Favourite Author) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Grade 4: A Humorous Fictional Story (The Day Gravity Failed)

Grade 5: A Non-fiction Report (A Person I Admire) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Grade 6: A Summary Report (Canadas Newest Territory) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Grade 7: An Advertisement (for a New Food Product) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 111

Une publication quivalente est disponible en franais sous le

provide an approach to improving student learning by demonstrating the use of

How the Rubrics Were Developed and Applied

The Ontario Curriculum Exemplars, Grades 18: Writing, 1999

How the Samples Were Selected

Using the Writing Samples

The Ontario Curriculum Exemplars, Grades 18: Writing, 1999

The Writing Tasks

The Ontario Curriculum Exemplars, Grades 18: Writing, 1999

to produce a short narrative

Reasoning: The story makes sense and the

to communicate ideas for a

to organize and develop

Reasoning: The ideas connect to the main

to organize information to convey a

Reasoning: The report uses developed

to use writing to summarize

Communication: Accurate details help

to produce a summary from a

Reasoning: The summary captures the

to organize the information to convey

Communication: The information is

to produce a piece of writing using

Reasoning: The ideas and details are

to revise and edit work, focusing on

Communication: The writing persuades

to communicate ideas to a specific

Organization: A logical order supports a

to use writing to clarify and explore

Reasoning: The writers opinion or point

to organize information and ideas creatively as well as logically

Communication: The writers opinion or

The Ontario Curriculum Exemplars, Grades 18: Writing, 1999

A Short Piece of Descriptive Writing

The Ontario Curriculum Exemplars, Grades 18: Writing, 1999

Previous Learning Experiences

The Process Used

Teachers then used the following process:

Grade 1: A Short Piece of Descriptive Writing

The Ontario Curriculum Exemplars, Grades 18: Writing, 1999

Grade 1: Rubric for a Short Piece of Descriptive Writing

uses mainly simple

uses developed ideas

the purpose is somewhat clear

the purpose is clear

the purpose is clear