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    Dear Dumb Diary,: Never Underestimate Your Dumbness

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    Ruxandra Zaharia
    If you purchased this book without a cover, you should be aware that this book is stolen property. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted without written permission of the publisher. If you punish me for it, then I will know that you read my diary.

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    © All Rights Reserved
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    Dear Dumb Diary,: Never Underestimate Your Dumbness

    Uploaded by

    Ruxandra Zaharia
    1K views8 pages
    If you purchased this book without a cover, you should be aware that this book is stolen property. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted without written permission of the publisher. If you punish me for it, then I will know that you read my diary.

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    9780439825962_DDD7_NeverUnderestimateYourDumbness.pdf

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    If you purchased this book without a cover, you should be aware that this book is stolen property. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted without written permission of the publisher. If you punish me for it, then I will know that you read my diary.

    Copyright:

    © All Rights Reserved
    Download as PDF, TXT or read online from Scribd
    Download as pdf or txt
    1K views8 pages

    Dear Dumb Diary,: Never Underestimate Your Dumbness

    Uploaded by

    Ruxandra Zaharia
    If you purchased this book without a cover, you should be aware that this book is stolen property. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted without written permission of the publisher. If you punish me for it, then I will know that you read my diary.

    Copyright:

    © All Rights Reserved
    Download as PDF, TXT or read online from Scribd
    Download as pdf or txt
    You are on page 1of 8

    Jim Bentons Tales from Mackerel Middle School

    Dear Dumb
    Diary,
    Never Underestimate
    Your Dumbness

    Scholastic Inc.

    New York Toronto London Auckland Sydney


    Mexico City New Delhi Hong Kong Buenos Aires

    S
    R

    For Craig Walker, without whom


    there might never have been a
    Dear Dumb Diary.
    If you purchased this book without a cover, you should be aware that
    this book is stolen property. It was reported as unsold and destroyed
    to the publisher, and neither the author nor the publisher has
    received any payment for this stripped book.
    No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system,
    or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical,
    photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without written permission of the
    publisher. For information regarding permission, write to Scholastic Inc.,
    Attention: Permissions Department, 557 Broadway, New York, NY 10012.
    ISBN-13: 978-0-439-82596-2
    ISBN-10: 0-439-82596-2
    Copyright 2008 by Jim Benton
    All rights reserved. Published by Scholastic Inc.
    SCHOLASTIC, APPLE PAPERBACKS, and associated logos are
    trademarks and/or registered trademarks of Scholastic Inc.
    14 13 12 11 10 9 8 7 6 5

    8 9 10 11 12 13/0

    Printed in the U.S.A.


    First printing, March 2008

    40

    Dear Whoever Is Reading My Dumb Diary,


    Are you sure youre supposed to be
    reading somebody elses diary? I mean, how
    dumb can you get? You should know thats
    not okay with me.
    If you are my parents, then YES, I know
    that I am not allowed to call people dumb
    and dummy-heads and dumb-face and
    dumbwad, and all that. But this is a diary,
    and I didnt actually call them anything. I wrote it. And, if you punish me for
    it, then I will know that you read my diary,
    which I am not giving you permission to
    dumbly do.
    Now, by the power vested in me, I do
    promise that everything in this diary is true,
    or, at least, as true as I think it needs to be.
    Signed,

    PS: Just in case youre wondering how dumb you


    are, you can find out for yourself on this handy,
    highly-accurate, Dumbness IQ Scale:

    Sunday 01
    Dear Dumb Diary,

    How would you feel if your uncle ate your
    sock and pooped on your lawn?
    a) Id feel grossed out.
    b) Id feel so grossed out, I could never be
    grossed in again.
    c) Id feel like staying on the porch.


    I would choose all three. My uncle didnt do
    it, but my dog has, and for some reason, we just
    go out there and clean it up without calling the
    policewhich we will do if an uncle ever does it.
    (Hey, uncles! Im not kidding. Take the hint if youre
    reading this.)

    Will I ever understand why we put up with a dog


    whose main purpose in life is to perform odors and
    get tripped over? How dumb are we?

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