Lindsay Mims Cultural Autobiography

I, Lindsay Pearl Mims, was born on September 2nd 1988 in Charleston, SC. I am the youngest child of two, both daughters, born into an upper middle white class family. Both of my parents have Bachelors degrees from Universities within the United States and have worked to keep their education current as the years pass. My father is a government civilian worker and mother is a pediatric physical therapist. I grew up financially comfortable without ever having to worry about if we would be able to afford food or clothes or any other necessity, but was not handed things by any means. When I was growing up I had friends of all cultures and backgrounds. Of course I realized they were different colors than me, but it was never something that was in the front of my mind, it was just how things were and I didnt think or realize that we were any different than two people of the same race, gender, and background are. When trying to think about my first recognition of color I was extremely surprised to realize that it didnt truly happen until the beginning of my high school career. I had never really had a real boyfriend until my freshman year of college; one of my friends introduced me to Antonio (Tony) who was a very tall skinny guy who was half black and half Nicaraguan. He was very cute and apparently he thought the same about me, so we began to date, as much as 15 year olds date anyway. Soon after I noticed people acting differently towards me and/or looking at me strangely, it was then that I began to realize how the world works and how many people view things. While dating Tony he came with my dad and I down to Jacksonville one day and when we returned home even he

had a judgmental and ignorant comment to add. He said, Yo u know, I really swallowed my pride today letting my little girl walk around holding a black guys hand. I was horrified, not that I had disappointed my father, but that something so cruel could come out of his mouth. I mean I had never really thought of his as racist, he had a couple of black friends, there was never a problem when I would bring home friends of different races or colors, and the issue of race had never even been addressed in my family, but there it was in front of my face. Since that day he had tried to redeem himself greatly and has never said another negative comment in regards to race of any of the guys I have dated, other than to say that if I were to marry outside of my race he just feels it would be harder on my children. Looking back on it, I dont think my dad is honestly racism just ignorant, which is still absolutely no excuse. When it comes to my mom she has never said anything negative in regards to race, ever, and even wanted to adopt a little black girl with special needs at once point (one of her patients that was in foster care). At the same time I do not know of any friends she has ever had that were outside of her race, but to be fair most of her friends come from her social circle at church and it is a white church. My racial culture is Caucasian. I grew up in a fairly stereotypical WASP household; we were a typical white southern Christian family. I was only ever exposed to white culture, traditions, environments, etc., so for much of my life I was unaware that there was anything different. When I got older I, of course, began to explore things on my own rather than just accepting that the entire world was only and exactly what my parents exposed me to. This allowed me to learn about differences in the way I was raised opposed to other cultures, races, religions, parts of the world, etc. which has interested

me ever since. I think that in my life at this very moment I most identify with a good bit of Caucasians and the culture, but I also feel I identify with African Americans a decent amount as well. I hate to say that because obviously I have not known many of the struggles that African Americans have to face and I feel it is partly unfair to adopt some of their culture if I have not earned it in a way, but the more I immerse myself in the culture and surround myself with people who were brought up in it, the more I feel part of my soul and inner self is an African American trapped in a pasty white girl body. I think much of the reason that I tend to turn away from certain parts of my own culture is because of how many people in my racial group act towards one another and other races. I am a Caucasian Christian female, but with that being said there are things about these labels that I despise. I feel that many white people are so ignorant and stupid about the world around them, which is true of most racial groups, but especially Caucasian. Many white Americans feel that they are better than others and expect things to be handed to them throughout their lives, and often times it is. They tend to have opportunities and privileges that others dont and all too often they are squandered or taken for granted. As far as religion goes, I do consider myself to be Christian, but I hate that title because there are so many hypocritical, pushy, judgmental, ungodly people that consider themselves Christian that the word as so little meaning to me anymore. I was brought up in church and I believe that there is a God, but I do not believe that he wants people to judge others and tell them they are wrong or going to hell or what not. I have stopped going to church for the most part because I feel frequently there are more judgmental people there than in any other gathering of

people, and I feel more Christian staying at home. When it comes to my gender, my feelings about women vary greatly depending on the person. I think that overall women play the victim far too often, in need of the big strong man to save her, but that is what we are taught growing up so we know nothing else. I think that as time goes by more and more women are stepping up and showing their strength and potential. The world (including women themselves) is finally realizing that they are not a second class gender who needs to hide behind a man, and I love it. I will admit I am a bit of a feminist. These are simply my personal opinions based on stereotypes, things that I have observed, and things I have experienced throughout my lifetime, but of course everyone sees the world through a different lens. Everyone has biases and prejudices, we know that. At the beginning of the semester we explored some of those biases, good and bad, and I had more than I would have liked to admit. The four groups that I think I have the most opinions and prejudices about other than my own are African Americans, elderly people, skinny/pretty females, and bisexuals. I have many stereotypes about African Americans many of which are positive, but many negative as well. When it comes to African Americans some of the negative stereotypes that I harbor are that I am always more likely to think that they came from a low income area, didnt have a father around, and/or were raised by someone other than their parents. Also, in social situations I expect black women to be louder and ruder than women of other races would be. On the flip side the positive stereotypes I believe include things like assuming that African Americans are great singers and can cook very well (especially women). The next group I have strong biases about is the elderly. Some of the negative feelings I have towards them are that I

assume they will always be slower and take longer for things than younger people will. Also, I often assume that they are not very clean and may smell bad. When I waited tables I would also always assume they were bad tippers, especially when they would get kids meals so their bill would be less. On a positive note I do always expect older people to be sweeter than younger people, and that they have a better value of things than other do. Now, when it comes to skinny, pretty girls I have mixed feelings about this. I know many very pretty thing girls who are the nicest people you could ever meet but until I get to know them I do not tend to see them that way. I feel much of this comes from resentment because I have let my weigh hold me back in so many areas of life. When I see a girl who looks as I described I always assume that she is the most stuck up spoiled brat, and I always feel she is judging me because of my weight and assuming I am lazy or what not. I usually do not have many (if any) positive judgments about them until I get to know them. Lastly, bisexuals are the group out of my four that I have the fewest prejudices about, to my knowledge, but I still do have a few. I often feel that if a person is openly bisexual, especially when they are young, that they are just seeking attention. I have mentioned before that I do believe in Kinseys scale of sexuality so I know that I contradict myself, but that logic has no bearing in my mind when judgments come out. I also usually assume that if someone is bisexual they are extremely promiscuous and have multiple partners of each gender at a time. If it is a female who is bisexual I also assume she will dress and look more androgynous than feminine. Everyone has their own unique cultural background and upbringing that plays a vital role in who they develop into as an adult. For me I am sure that my cultural background

will greatly affect my work as a counselor, and I am hoping it will be in a positive way. My hope is that my experiences will increase my compassion for others no matter what their background may be. I feel that I have learned over the years to get to know the person rather than be stuck on the labels given to them because of race, ethnicity, religion, gender, sexual orientation, etc., but I do not think I will know for sure until put into different situations with different types of people. When growing up I was put into such a box with blinders on and was only exposed to the things that my parents wanted me to, so I honestly think that it was because of them that I have the mindset that I have. When I started to experience things other than what they specifically choice for me to be exposed to and I saw how closed minded and judgmental they were I knew that I would do anything to not have the same mentality, and not put my children is the same type of box that they did. People say its because we are in the south and that is just how people are here, but to me that just seems like trying to find an excuse for ignorance when there is none. At this point in my training I think it would be most difficult to work with Asian Americans and Latino American. I am hoping to expand my knowledge on many cultural and religious traditions and practices, but especially these two. I have been to Mexico twice for mission trips with church and I have worked in a Chinese restaurant as a waitress, but my knowledge of these cultures does not extend far past those experiences. Especially in Asian culture I know there are many things that have different meanings than they do to us, and things that could be construed as rude or offensive and I would be worried about doing something by accident that would lose the respect of my client before even really beginning. I remember when working for the Asian family

who owned the Chinese restaurant I waited tables in I often got yelled at quite severely for doing things I thought were normal but were considered offensive to them. For example one time I was talking to the main owner of the restaurant, who is an Asian man, about an order of food I needed and I tend to talk with my hands as most people do, but apparently that is considered exceedingly disrespectful in Asian culture and I was harshly reprimanded for it. Another time I arrived at work just after getting out of school and I realized I had forgotten something to pull my hair back with, so I decided to use chopsticks and twist my hair back enough to be within the health code, and again I was severely scolded about how offensive that was and was told that would be like if they were to put a fork in their hair (which I would think was strange, but not offensive). There are things like this is every culture, but these are the two that I feel I will come in contact with the most that I know the least about, so it worries me. I do hope that if something like that were to happen in a session though, that my clients would be able to have already seen the true compassion in caring that I have enough to be understanding and forgiving towards me. Right now in my cultural identity development I would say I am somewhere between pseudo-independence and immersion/emersion. I have moved past the point of thinking whites are superior to blacks, and I do not think or I hope that other do not think that I am traitorous or see me as suspicious for my rejection of many stereotypes, but I also do not think I have fully moved into immersion/emersion either. Although I do have the feelings of wanting to create a change and share the knowledge I have with others I have yet to actively go fight the fight other than with things that I happen to encounter in my everyday life.

In chapter one it discusses recognition of your own biases. This is something I have been working very hard on for a while now. I would love to sit here and say that I have no prejudice or bias towards any group of people, and I tried to believe that for a very long time, but that is simply stupid and impossible. Since this time in which I acknowledged that I do harbor judgments about people I have struggled with and tried to push through accepting this to be true so that I am able to change these preset ideas. Then, in chapter two the aspect of privilege was brought up. Obviously white privilege has greatly affected who I am, but until I was an adult I did not even realize that I was given more opportunities because of my race and how much they affected the person that I am. Lastly, in chapter three it talks about socioeconomics and education and how they affect your cultural identity. My socioeconomic status has had a large an impact on the person I am. Because of it I have had more opportunities and have had more resources at my disposal than most people. My education definitely has a huge deal to do with who I am though. Because of it I will be able to have a career in which I would have no way of getting if I did not have a career. It will also give me and my family (when I have one) opportunities that none of us would be given if I were to have an unskilled job. By answering and expanding on these questions I have hopefully been able to elaborate enough about my cultural identity to help someone understand the type of person that I am. My hope is through this paper and this experience. I will have learned more about myself and what I need to work on as a student counselor. This way I will be able to direct the rest of my time in this program towards learning and expanding my

knowledge of all areas, but especially the areas in which I struggle and have little to no knowledge about.