PROSH WEEK 2011

SCAV HUNT
Team:

DECREES
1. DECREE AGAINST CANCER: thou shalt not smoke (cigars excepted).
2. DECREE AGAINST PENII: thou shalt not display superfluous penis. To do so will incur negative
points.
3. DECREE AGAINST WHINING: though shalt not whinge, bitch or beg for points. To do so will
incur negative points.
For Example:
Do I get points for this?
If you do a dance.
Was that good enough?
No. No points.
4. DECREE AGAINST BIGOTRY: Thou shalt refrain from bigotry, ism or ist language will incur
heavy penalties, or in extreme cases, disqualification.
bigotry 1. stubborn and complete intolerance of any creed, belief, or opinion that differs from
one's own.
2. the actions, beliefs, prejudices, etc., of a bigot.
Synonyms narrow-mindedness, bias, discrimination.
5. DECREE AGAINST POOR SELF-ESTEEM: Proshers shalt be called upon at random to cite a
positive quality in themselves or another Prosher, failure to do so will incur negative points.
6. DECREE AGAINST FUCKING IT UP: Thou shalt call Judges by their Judge names and their Judge
names only for the duration of Prosh Week. Thine failure will incur negative points.
7. DECREE AGAINST UNIFORMITY: Proshers shall attend events in their team colours/costumes,
thine failure will result in a lack of participation and team spirit points.
8. DECREE AGAINST JAILTIME: Thou shalt not get arrested. Going to jail isnt all its cracked up to
be. Just ask Judge Rook. Should thou go to Jail thou shall not collect 200 points.

THE SPIRIT OF PROSH

Prosh week is a team event whose primary objective is FUN. The competitive aspect is but one driving
force behind the creativity and bravery (stupidity) of Proshers who will do almost anything for points,
and it is not the entire point of Prosh Week. If you are avoiding helping new or small teams, being rude
or sabotaging other teams, you are not competing in the spirit of Prosh. Working together to make each
event more spectacular will result in far more fun than concentrating soley on making sure your team is
the best. Older Proshers should remember their own incredible Prosh experiences and try their best to
make sure newcomers can have the same experiences. Prosh is a community event and the bringing
people of different creeds together in drunkness and nudity is its biggest achievement. Please work
together and dont fuck it up.

RULES
1. Amendment to the penii rule. This rule is not intended to discourage nudity, but instead to encourage
creativity; strategically covered nudity is usually much funnier than cock. You will not be docked
points for hilarious penis.
2. Follow the law. Getting arrested is not only bad for you (and your future career) but it jeopardises
the future of Prosh Week. Nothing we will ask you to do during Prosh Week requires or encourages
you to break the law. Getting arrested will result in the disqualification of YOUR WHOLE TEAM. So
dont fuck it up.
3. As well as following the law, you must follow all University rules. Illegal activities being performed
on campus have even greater repurcussions for Prosh Week. Items that may be considered illegal are
not to be stored or exhibited on Campus. Breaking this rule will also result in your whole team being
disqualified. So dont fuck it up.
4. Absolutely no nude photos are to be taken of underage Proshers, even if they consent. This is
tantamount to possessing child porn, dont put yourself in that situation.
5. Being a Prosher does not make you a god. If you do stupid shit, expect The Consequences. Please be
sensible and dont put yourself or other people in danger.
6. Being a Prosher also does not make you immune to the normal rules of Society. Both the university
community and the Prosh community are a very mixed up bunch and its important that you try your
best to respect everyone. (See decree against bigotry.) Please keep in mind that many people may find
your behaviour during Prosh Week confronting or intimidating. If you or your team deliberately
antagonise other Proshers or Non-Proshers or show an outright disrespect for a particular creed you
will be heavily penalised or disqualified.
7. If you are a new Prosher please dont feel that you have to participate in every event. Everyone has
different boundaries and you are completely entitled to stay within yours without being pressured.
Older Proshers should remember that encouragement is good but making people feel uncomfortable is
not.
8. During Prosh Week the Judges are not your friends and no longer have allegiances to former teams.
We are now in Team Judge, and we already know were going to win. (See decree against fucking it
up.)
9. Respect the property of others and the venues being used during Prosh Week. In some instances a
bond is required for a venue and the Judges will hold individuals accountable for any damage. Many
Proshers will offer up treasured or expensive items for use by your team during Prosh Week, and
particularly during scav hunt. It is everyones responsibility to make sure these items are looked after
and returned.
10. Dont jeopardise your career. If youre a law student, or a political hack getting in trouble with the
law will seriously affect your life.
11. You must wear your team colours, shirts and costumes/regalia at all events. Please.
12. If you are Iced you must accept your icing. If an Ice is produced by the Icee, the Icing rebounds and
the Icer must accept the icing. Bros may Ice Bros and Bros may Ice Judges, but you do so at your own
peril. You must take a knee.

SCHEDULE OF EVENTS:

THURSDAY:
11.00am

Proshcession - Ghosts

Depart North Court

12.00pm

Scav Hunt

Scav list released Melb Gaol Russell St

4.00pm

Pubgaining

Depart South Lawn steps

4.00pm

Clothes Swap

CBD

4.00pm

Noob Games

Members Dining Room

10.30pm

Nudolympics

South Lawn

12.30am

Night Club Games

A Bar Called Barry

7.00am

MYKI Drop

Depart South Lawn Steps

10.00am

Breakfast

Members Dining Room

12.00pm

Judging

North Court

7.30pm

Results Party

Turf Club

(We know this is technically

Friday, shut up.)

FRIDAY:

THURSDAY:
PROSHCESSION
A quick history lesson: somewhere around the time your oldest lecturers were students at this
university, students marched upon parliament house protesting a ridiculous cause (or so my 81 yr old
Professor vaguely tells me). This was a Procession. Out of Proc- was born Prosh, which later,
incorporating the Universitys famous Scavenger Hunt, became Prosh Week.
Proshcession is a grand part of Prosh Week history and will therefore be afforded more attention this
year. Attendance is compulsory! If we dont see representatives from your team at the marshalling
area, you will incur substantial negative points. This year, youre the undead. Ghosts will march
with a mummy army.
Requirements:
- White bedsheets
- Toilet paper
- Placards & protest signs

SCAV HUNT
The almighty Scavenger Hunt.

LIST RELEASE
The Scavenger Hunt list will be released at 12.00pm (midday) on Thursday at The Old Melbourne
Gaol. Teams have 24 hours to put together as much of the Scav list as possible and bring those items to
North Court for judging by 12.00pm (midday) on Friday.
PUBGAINING
Like rogaining, but with pubs. Meet Judge Rook at the South Lawn steps.
Requirements:
- 2 people per team
- Money
- ID
- Camera
- Compass (optional)

CLOTHES SWAP
Your challenge is to head into the city and try to swap your clothing for that of a stranger. You can
only swap one item per stranger. Your aim is to exchange your whole outfit. Bonus points for ending
up completely in one colour.
Half points will be awarded for photos of your team member swapping with a stranger, full points for
returning to campus in their clothing.
Call Judge Queen (White) and let her know where youll be attempting your Clothes Swap.
Requirements:
- 1 person per team
- Camera
- Clothes you dont mind swapping (but remember youll be less likely to find someone willing to
swap if youre waring manky clothes.
NOOB GAMES
An introduction to the inner workings of Scav Hunt, 3 members of your team will complete a mini list
of items and photos in half an hour and present them to the Judges.
Your entrants must be doing Prosh for the first time this year.
Meet Judge Knight in the Members Dining Room.
Requirements:
- 3 people per team

- Camera
- Misc handy stuff tape, cardboard, markers etc.
NUDOLYMPICS
Get nude and run around in the cold with 100 of your closest friends and acquaintances.
Requirements:
- Shoes. Just Shoes.
NIGHTCLUB GAMES
Clubbing not your style? Join us at A Bar Called Barry for a night out with a twist. In 30 minutes you
will complete a series of tasks set by The Judges which will see you lose more than a little dignity.
Judge Rook and Judge Queen will be observing you and scoring your feats. Meet them at the bar.
Thursday is Barrys queer night so please be respective of the other patrons.
Requirements:
- Camera
- Some club appropriate get-up.

MYKI DROP
Due to technical difficulties MYKI Drop has been cancelled. We instead present to you Metcard Drop,
which we hope you will find suitable as an equivalent replacement.
2 members of your team (of two different sexes) will be cable-tied together and dropped in the outer
suburbs with naught but a metcard to get them home.
Meet Judge Rook at the South Lawn Steps.
If you cant provide a car and driver you cannot compete.

Requirements:
- Two willing participants
- Standalone camera (no phones)
- Bathers (not underwear)
- Cable ties (if possible)
- A driver
- A mobile phone (for emergency use only)
BREAKFAST
Head to the Members Dining Room for a hot breakfast as we near the end of Scav Hunt.

JUDGING
The culmination of Scav Hunt and the most exhausting and entertaining few hours of your life. Stick
around to help your team present all your hard work to the panel of Judges. Items are presented one at a
time in a display of idiocy, creativity and occasionally rancidity.
Photos, videos and essays may be handed in any time during judging.

ITEMS
Anaerialscrew
Abuttweld
Acoolwaytoopenacoldbeer
Chocolatechipchickennuggetcookies
Anawesomeflipbook
Worldslargestalcoholicjelloshot
FirsttopresentJudgeKingwitha
toastedmultigrainsandwhich(chickpea,
artichoke,onion,capsicum,eggplant,
olives,pesto),fromTheGreenRefectory
115SydneyRoad
AQantasmechanic
ALLthesingleladies
Azippolighter
Themostamazingthingmadeofbacon
All22JamesBondmovies

100
100
200
400
500
1000
400

100
200
400
1000
200
200
200
200
100
400
100
100
1000
100
100

28.

Toofar
Auniversitymultitool/pocketknife
Acondomchandelier
Anoverengineeredbeerbong
Arubberbandfirearm
Asuitmadeofsomethingawesome
Aspitfire
Completesetofcoinsmintedin1988
Alegoworkofart
Amerrygoroundcandytin
Aneskimo
SmallestUSBstick(capacityorsize)
FortunecookiesforTheJudges
ProshWeekDVDcover
Abarofsoapwithfightclubengraved
onit
ChipotleTabasco

29.
30.

AbubblecupwithALLthebubbles
Thefattestcigar

100
100

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.

8.
9.
10.
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12.
13.
14.
15.
16.
17.
18.
19.
20.
21.
22.
23.
24.
25.
26.
27.

100
1000
400
500
1000

400

MBTK

MBTK
BTK
BTK/Transferrable
to a laptop

BTK
MBTK

MBTK

MBTK

MBTK (seriously,
do it.)

MBTK
7

200
100
100
100
100
400
200
100
100
100
100
1000
1000

44.
45.
46.
47.
48.
49.
50.
51.
52.

Anautomatedtrollmachine
Aspidermanqwebbshooter
Lactatingstripperwars
Themulticolouredfruittingles(lots)
Judgement
Judgemint
Invisibilitycloak
Invincibilityclock
Invisibleinvincibilitycock
Jaffytears
GiveJudgeQueenatowel
AVUstudentcallcentre
DeliverAnOpenLettertoGeoffreyRush
concerning'Ninjas...Damn'byhand
Lembasbread
Dignitysupplement
RufiColada
SausageJenga(bonusifgiant)
Racistpeanutbuttercups
Adistraction!
ForestGump
ForestGimp
WikipediaentriesforeachJudge

53.
54.
55.
56.
57.
58.
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75.

AboutAnHourofASongInAnHour
GlynDavisjackinaBox
24hourtrebuchet
Electriclove
Electricdove
Ecclecticglove
Agoldensnitch
Agoldensnatch
Veritaserum
Veritasemen
Ashrine/tributetoKeanuReeves
MyGoodness,MyGuinness!
MyGoodness,MyGuinnessVibrator!
UltraviolationRays
LollipopLady
Mingeotaur
Ninjasaw
Vaginasaur
AtinyOrigamiCrane
Thor,thePokemon
Tastefulnudecalendarofyourteam
Anitemofchoice
Anaxiomofchoice

500
400
100
100
100
100
100
100
200
- 200
400
100
500
100
100
100
100
100
50
100
500
50
200

31.
32.
33.
34.
35.
36.
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39.
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41.
42.
43.

100
100
100
100
100
1000
100
100
1000

MBTK
MBTE(at)
MBTK

MBTK
MBTK
(Must have
proof)
BTK

BTK

(with screen
shots)
MBTK

MBTK

MBTK
Bonus if licked

76.
77.
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113.

AwkwardTurtle
"PotterPals"fingerpuppets
WhoneedsLSDwhenyouhaveLEDs!?
Theoldest,ickiestbanana
Somethingthatbreakslikechina
Thetastiestbreadstuff
Alightningbolttattoo
SurrealistorImpressionistflaming
mangina
AtoastywithCHEEEEEEEEESE!
Abetterversionoftheboardgame
"PASSOUT"
FirsttomotorboatJudgeQueenWhite
AMiGorengPoster
Apintsizedpintglass
Aphotobookofmembersofyourteam
withvariousMelbourneUniversity
Lecturers.Bonusifsignedbylecturers.
Themostimpressionablefirstyear
FlintandSteel.Bonusifdemonstrated
(safely).
Acreativeuseoffluorescence
TheoldestMobilePhone
Mooseheads
Love
Glory
Points
DeepFriedKrispeyKreme
ACrystalCastle
AngryBirds
Santorum(GoogleIt!)
FirsttogetapounderfromMcDonalds
Themostcreativemeaningbehind
Ke$ha'sname
Isnack2.0
Abatonarotisserie
AProshlandscape
AProshthemedchessboardcomplete
withProshplayingpieces
RejectedLittleMissandMr.Men
characters
RuPaul'sdragraceseason2&3onDVD
Ahymenectomy
PrideandPrejudiceandZombies
AlightupJesusLamp(GreatBritain
hotelstyle)
Will&KateCommemorative
Memorabilia

100
1000
100
50
100
100
100
200
200
500
50
100
100
200

MBTK

MBTE(at)

MBTE(at)
MBTK

MBTK

BTK

100
100
100
400
10,000
1000
1000
0
500
100
500
200
100
50

BTK

MBTE(at)

100
100
200
1000

BTK

200

BTK

100
100
200
1000

MBTK

MBTK

MBTK

100

114.
115.
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129.

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144.
145.
146.

Arudeteddybear
Afinerthinginlife
"Grugbecomesastoner"picturebook
JudgeQueen(White),JudgeRookand
JudgeKingscrowns.
FirsttogetJudgeRookamushroomand
cheese(number4)JafflefromKereKere
ThisremindsmeofagirlIusedtoknow
AHaikuforeveryJudge
APedoBear
ABarePedo
Aconcisedefinitionof"Neoliberal
CulturalPolicy"forJudgeRook'sPhD.
Mustbereferenced.
GiveMyLam'smotherfromINUBar
flowers
AnEdwardPenishandsPortrait
AnotherTeam'sFlag
Nagpipes
Scragpipes
AtertiaryconcessioncardforJudge
Rook,JudgeBishopandJudgeQueen
(Black)Beingpostgradmakespublic
transportexpensive.
Asexybovine
GIANTBEER!
Themostoffensivebooktitleyoucan
find.
ApairofgreenVansshoes,size11.Lost
circa2010/2011NYE.
AblondmulletwiglastseenwhenFrank
theplumberwasinstallingthesinkin
thepit
Adildocannon
Athankyoucardsignedbyevery
memberofyourteamforthefolksat
Property&Grounds
Firsttoboobslapthejudges
Firsttodoaclothesswap(notnude)
Aschoonerofsailors,bonusif
intoxicated
FirsttokickDonalinthedick
ALoveShack
ALoveShaq
Firsttogetastrangertopashthem
Aworkingremotecontrolledhelicopter
Areallifedoubledown
AcopyofForestGumpwithrulesfor

100
100
200
1000

Bonusifthe
originals.

200
200
100
100
200
1000

MBTK

300
200
100
100
100
500

100
200
200

MBTK

BTK

1000 if
original
400

MBTK

1000
500

MBTK

100
100
425
50
100
100
400
500
100
500

MBTK

BTK
MBTK
10

147.
148.
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164.

165.
166.
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171.
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173.
174.

ForestGumpthedrinkinggame(must
work)
ProofofthePieFaceTimeSpace
ContinuumTheory
ARubeGoldbergmachine
ASPRINGBREAK!!!!!
Gandalf the Grey: an original shot (no
vodka or tequila)

MostnumberofbowlsfromShanghai
Dumpling
ADysonairmultiplier.Bonusifself
made
Edward_________Hands
Lobsterfists
Gypsytears
Aseriousboat
Aportalgun
Acowbell
Amouldtomakeanalcoholicshot
deliverysystemoutofice.Bonusif
presentedinworkingorder.
GiveCatchocolate(JudgeQueens
girlfriend)
AWORKINGkegerator(bonusif
availablewithbeertodrinkduring
judging)
Aworkingperpetualmotiondevice
Ariverrock
AhardcopyofHandbookHB2.2
AustralianStandardsforCivil
EngineeringStudentsPart2:
StructuralDesignStandardsAustralia
2003.
Quinnysmullet
PringleLadies
ALLthepringleladies
Adictionarywithallthedirtywords
highlighted.Bonuspointsfornon
Englishdictionary
Apenisflytrap
Equationstodrawacatfaceona
graphicscalculator.Bonuspointsifin
onesingleequation.
AgroupMAC10
Amasturbationkit
Ateacuppig
Miniaturebacon

100
1000
400
400

BTK
MBTK
MBTD(rink)

500

BTK

1000

BTK

100
200
100
400
100
1000
1000

MBTK
BTK

200
100
- 200
100
500

500
100
200
400

MBTK

MBTK

200
400
100
100
1000
1000

11

175. Anofficeitemsetinjelly
176. AworkingEscherwaterfallorPenrose
stairs(IRL)
177. Anurncontainingtheashesofall
Twilightbooks.(Recognisable)
178. AtoffeeappleforStef(JudgeKnights
girlfriend)
179. AMexicanfightingmidget
180. AnImprovisedscale
181. Animprovisedwhale
182. AShakespeareansonnet,tobe
performedatJudging
183. OceanBall
184. ComprehensivesunprotectionforJudge
Queen(White)
185. A unicorn
186. A spoonicorn
187. A music box
188. A childhood dream
189. An apocalypse
190. Adult literature, read aloud
191. A rant
192. A faceless mask
193. A turtle skin rug
194. A bear skin mug
195. Pash rash
196. Traffic light art
197. A crutiatus purse
198. A dead man walking
199. A shopping trolley, murdered
200. A love song dedication to Judge Queen
201. A legitimate, submittable petition
supporting gay marriage
202. An exterior amphitheatre
203. A pleasant surprise
204. Chuck Norris
205. Badwater
206. First to skoll sour milk in fornt of Judge
King
207. Boob slap Judge Bishop
208. A web of lies
209. A Qwebb of pies
210. Arctic Monkeys
211. Sparta
212. A ground hog
213. Something heart-warming
214. The smallest thing
215. A schooner of sailors, bonus if drunken

200
1000
200
200
400
100
100
200
10,000
200
1000
100
100
100
200
200
100
100
500
500
- 100
200
100
100
200
200
1000

MBTK

MBTK
MBTK
BTK

100
200
100
100
200
-500
100
100
100
10,000
100
500
100
- 425

12

216. A thankyou letter to The Corkman for BI,

make it good, maybe take a photo and sign
it or something.
217. The tip jar from Bar Centrale, the original
if you have it, otherwise a good one they
can replace it with
218. Bacon
219. Items from Prosh Weeks past
220. A situation diffuser
221. Freedom
222. Scripture, inscribed on breasts
223. The fanciest gumboots (Ladies 10)
224. A multi-faceted facet
225. Greek fasting cheese (its a real thing)
226. Musk sticks
227. A Conch Shell
228. JackDanielsSyrup
229. Adioramashowingthelastchallenges
IndianaJonesmustfaceinthefinal
scenesofIndianaJonesandtheLast
Crusade
230. The Angela Lansbury Workout Video
231. BlueWaffles
232. Acompletedonecolourpuzzle
233. Thankyou Haighs chocolate delivered to
108A Stanhope St Malvern 3144
234. Thankyou Saxbys Diet Ginger Beer
delivered to 2/7 Evans St Moonee Ponds
235. Thankyou crochet needles or wool
delivered to 7 Susanne Crt, Romsey 3434
236. Thankyou flowers delivered to 7/53
Johnston St Port Melbourne
237. A Thankyou massage and coffee delivered
to Shane Woon at Judging
238. Thankyou card delivered to Security Steve
239. Thankyou granny smith apples delivered to
1/1 Bedford Place North Melbourne
240. Thankyou card delivered to Grant Murphy,
head of security

500

241. A virgin who cant drive

242. Judge Queen (White)s voice

100
10,000

500
100
200
200
0
200
100
100
100
50
500
100
500

MBTK

400
500
400
300

MBTK
Bonus if eaten

300

By post or by hand,
before Judging.

300

By post or by hand,
before Judging.

300

By post or by hand,
before Judging.

MBTK
MBTK
MBTK
MBTK
MBTK
MBTK

By post or by hand,
before Judging.

300
300
300
300
MBTK
MBTK

13

PHOTOS
Please caption all your photos with their number and title:
000_Team Name_Photo Title
If you can, put this in the photo itself. Please submit your photos in an organised
fashion, put them in order, put them in folders, put your team name on everything.
GENERAL
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
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8.
9.
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33.

An impersonation of the Judges

Awkward party trick
Epic Fail
Classic
Classic Arts
Classic Science
That Guy
Cant Un-see
Volvo Driver
That Doesnt Belong
They said I could be anything, so I went
FULL RETARD
Lobster dog you complete me
Hypno chode!
SHOPPED! You can tell by the angle of
the horizon
Im a ram mother fucker!
HEYYY JEWWWWD!
That was way harsh, Tai
Cant get into Club 27 with that shirt, mate
SPRING BREAK!!!
BOSS LYFE
Have you ever seen this many people drunk
over a bike race?
This is SPARTA!
I love you, man
My big fat hobbit wedding
Speed kills
Fake is the new real
Grease is the word
Captain Cockblock
This is not where I parked my ship
Censored
Hooking up in a hook turn lane
Give way to PEDS
Lollipop lady

100
100
100
100
100
100
100
100
100
100
100
100
100
100
100
100
200
100
100
100
100
100
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100
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100
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14

34.
35.
36.
37.
38.
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42.
43.
44.
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47.
48.
49.
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51.

Clearway currently not being enforced

This list is too long
Members of your team ordered by arse
firmness
Members of your team ordered by upsidedownness
Members of your team ordered by odour
Members of your team ordered by hairiness
Members of your team ordered off South
Lawn by security
Not another fucking Lady Gaga costume at
this party!
Chlamydia is just a flower
Hold me beer and watch this
What would Fanning do?
A Prosh intervention
5.00am can be the hardest hour
An awkward family photo
Officer down! Officer down!
A violent clown baking
Superstar!!!
Expat: Cobblestones in Prague, bonus if at
sunrise/sunset.

100
100
100
100
100
100
100
100
100
100
100
100
100
100
100
100
100
100

GENERAL PHOTO SERIES

1. Badger
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

Badger
Badger
Badger
Badger
Badger
Badger
Badger
Mushroom
Mushroom
Snake

150
150
150
150
150
150
150
150
150
150

2. Bands
1.
2.
3.

TV on the Radio
Matchbox 20
Smashing Pumpkins

150
150
150
15

4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

Pearl Jam
Goo Goo Dolls
Arcade Fire
Bach
The Chemical Brothers
Children Collide
Radiohead

150
150
150
150
150
150
150

3. Places that are hard to get to

Dont break in, be smart talk youre way in.
Please do not
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

The Tower in Old Engineering

Clock tower in Old Arts
Chancellors Chambers, Old Quad
Any Deans Executive Chair
Redmond Barry Roof
John Medley Roof
Level 12 Law Building
Inside Glyn Davis House
Somewhere Judge King hasnt been
The Castle in the Sky

150
150
150
150
150
150
150
150
150
150

4. Dating Etiquette
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

Choose a nice location

Choose a nice wine
A gentleman always eats like a lady
Dont grope the waitress
Blow up dolls can be awkward
Never get your date drunk
Dont try and steal 2nd base too early
Dont eat with your mouth full
Sip, dont skoll the wine
Dress for the occasion

150
150
150
150
150
150
150
150
150
150

5. Film Quotes
1.
2.

Bond,JamesBond
WontyouexcusemeamomentwhileI
slipintosomethingmorecomfortable

250
250

16

3.

4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

Mymamaalwayssaidlifeislikeaboxof
chocolate,youneverknowwhatyoure
goingtoget

Franklymedear,Idontgiveadamn
NobodyputsBabyinacorner
Imjustagirl,standinginfrontofaboy,
askinghimtoloveher.
Imgonnamakehimanofferhecant
refuse
TotoIhaveafeelingwerenotinKansas
anymore
Listen,strangewomanlyininponds,
distributinswordsisnobasisfora
systemofgovernment
Adaymaycomewhenthecourageof
menfails,whenweforsakeourfriends,
andbreakallbondsoffellowship,butit
isNOTTHISDAY.

250

250
250
250
250
250
250
250

6. F Fashion: Winter 2011 Catalogue!

New and exciting trends are emerging in the melting pot that is Melbournes
underground fashion scene! We are seeing all sorts of weird and wonderful ideas
coming from our own home-grown up and coming designers, mixing and matching
styles that challenge the establishment! But the over-riding theme for Winter 2011?
Fully. Retarded.
1.

2.
3.
4.

5.

6.

HewearsmostlyBeatlesvintagebutwithapost
apocalyptictwistitgoeswithhismacbookashewrites
hisscriptinAnimalOrchestra(youprobablyhavent
heardofit)
Shesportsthelatestharajukutrendsasshedoesher
morningyogaontheMelbourneUniathleticstrack!What
even
HegenderbendersinthisgorgeousElizabethenera
inspiredfrockwithacheekybarebackdifferenceashe
sipshisfairtradecoffeeinLygonStreet
The80sarebackretardedstyle!Itsallabouttightand
brightbutwithaSocialistrevolutionarysurprisethat
doesntmakesensebutlookstotallyfetchonherasshe
fareevadesonthe86!
Eskimoboy?ESKIMANLADIES!ThisEskimoinspired
swimsuitiscompletelyimpracticalbutlooksdashingas
helazesbythemoatonSouthLawnreading
Proust
PrettyWTF!StKildacrackwhoremeetsRichardGere

250

250
250
250

250

250
17

7.

8.
9.

10.

andmatesintothisohsowrongbutOHSORIGHT
skanksuitashebuysaferretfromtheVicMarket
Animalsarethenewblack!Shesahiphopmotha
fuckinganimalboiii,asshelecturebashesfortheup
comingrallyagainstdeforestationinthemiddleeast,or
whatever!HOLLAAAA
Dragonfashionisback!Whatthefuckisthat?Who
knowsbutshehaswingsandisbreathingfireatPAs
with2flamingSambucashots!
YoucanthavetoomanycapesthisHarryPottermeets
80sglamrockissomessedupitworksatreat!Hiswand
accessoryneverlooksoutofplace,notevenintheDeans
office!
Shesateamplayerbabyandshesturningheadsat
SecurityCentral!Thisstrikingoutfit,inspiredbyallthe
latestProshthemesof2011,hasourmodellookingwait
orit
Fully.Retarded.

250

250
250

250

GENERAL NUDES
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
11.
12.
13.
14.
15.
16.
17.
18.
19.
20.
21.
22.
23.
24.
25.
26.

Full Penetration Butt Weld

Pumping Head
Ring Expander
Tightening nuts with a wrench
Masticating Thespian
You must be this tall to ride
Making mountains out of mole hills
Melts in your mouth, not in your hands
The other white meat
Famous moment in history
Most number of piercings connected in a
row
Jim Jam! Cock or balls?
Docking
Cat penis
IM ON TOP OF A MOUNTAIN
Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
Skin is the new black
Robin Hood and merry men
Knights of the Round Table
The Meaning of Life
Good King Wencelas looked out
Shake your groove thing
Im on a horse.
Bicycle Erotica
Its not a race
I didnt recognise you without your

200
200
200
200
200
200
200
200
200
200
200
200
200
200
200
200
200
200
200
200
200
200
200
200
200
200
18

27.
28.
29.
30.
31.
32.
33.
34.
35.
36.
37.
38.
39.
40.
41.
42.
43.
44.
45.
46.

47.
48.
49.
50.
51.
52.
53.

clothes!
Its my pterodactyl
My first and last time
Lovely! (A la Pancake Parlour)
I wouldnt touch her with my 10 foot pole
At least Im not completely nude
At least there arent any cameras around
At least my parents wont see this
Awkward Family Photo
Poker Face
I was keen until I looked at it
The real housewives of Prosh Week
Hoarders: The Prosh Week Story
Paranormal Activity
Classical Art
Postmodern Art
Nudity Makes Everything Better.
Everything.
Im going to regret this photo when Im a
politician
Bond,JamesBond
WontyouexcusemeamomentwhileI
slipintosomethingmorecomfortable
Mymamaalwayssaidlifeislikeaboxof
chocolate,youneverknowwhatyoure
goingtoget

Franklymedear,Idontgiveadamn
NobodyputsBabyinacorner
Imjustagirl,standinginfrontofaboy,
askinghimtoloveher.
Imgonnamakehimanofferhecant
refuse
TotoIhaveafeelingwerenotinKansas
anymore
Listen,strangewomanlyininponds,
distributinswordsisnobasisfora
systemofgovernment
Adaymaycomewhenthecourageof
menfails,whenweforsakeourfriends,
andbreakallbondsoffellowship,butit
isNOTTHISDAY.

200
200
200
200
200
200
200
200
200
200
200
200
200
200
200
200
200
200
200
200

200
200
200
200
200
200
200

19

NUDE PHOTO SERIES

1. Shakespearean Artistic Nudes
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

RoughwindsdoshakethedarlingbudsofMay(Sonnet
18)
Theladydothprotesttoomuch,methinks(Hamlet)
GoodNight,Goodnight!Partingissuchsweetsorrow,
thatIshallsaygoodnighttillitbemorrow.(Romeo&
Juliet)
Out,damnedspot!Out,Isay!(MacBeth)
Lovelooksnotwiththeeyes,butwiththemind,and
thereforeiswingedCupidpaintedblind.(AMidsummers
NightDream)
Butloveisblind,andloverscannotsee.(TheMerchantof
Venice)

250

Ahorse!Ahorse!Mykingdomforahorse!(KingRichard
III)
Thestrokeofdeathisasaloverspinch,Whichhurtsand
isdesired.(Antony&Cleopatra)
BewaretheidesofMarch.(JuliusCaesar)
Iwillbitemythumbatthem;whichisadisgracetothem,
iftheybearit.(Romeo&Juliet)

250

250
250
250
250
250

250
250
250

2. Areas of Study
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

Veterinary Science - Preg Testing

Geomatics Surveying
Linguistics Tongue tied
Medicine This wont hurt very much
Arts South Lawn Tutorial
Commerce Money Talks
Environmental Engineering Waste Auditing
Gender Studies Nudity is just a social construct
Law This isnt legal
Education Kids are our future!

250
250
250
250
250
250
250
250
250
250

20

3. Internet memes
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

Lolcat
All Your Base Are Belong To Us
Sense, this photo makes none
And not a fuck was given
First world problems
Vancouver Riot Kiss
Gingers do have souls
Evolution of dance
Rick Rolld
This Is Spartaaaaa.

250
250
250
250
250
250
250
250
250
250

4. Naked Planking
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

At Federation Square
In McDonalds
Somewhere really awkward
On your teammates
The spiral steps into Melbourne Central on La Trobe St
Bourke St
In a Pub
In another teams base
In front of NGV, artistically
Down by the Yarra

250
250
250
250
250
250
250
250
250
250

5. Film titles
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

A hot fuzz
A shortbus
A vanilla sky
A mean girl
An interview with a vampire
A goblet of fire
The silence of the lambs
A breakfast club
A mission impossible
A grudge

250
250
250
250
250
250
250
250
250
250

6. Adult Film titles

1.
2.
3.
4.

IndianaJonesandtheTempleofPoon
SchindlersFist
StarWars:TheEmpireStrikesintheBack
Jawbreaker

250
250
250
250
21

RedOctober
SavingRyansPrivates
E.T:TheExtraTesticle
ForrestHump
Pirates
TheCuriousCaseofBenjaminsBottom

5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

250
250
250
250
250
250

Most Nudes
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

In a shopping trolley
In a shower
In a tree
In my pants
In a lift
On a flight of stairs
Playing stacks on
At a Judges House
In a lift
Planking

250
250
250
250
250
250
250
250
250
250

PHOTOSHOPS

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
11.
12.
13.
14.
15.
16.
17.
18.

Judge Queen (White) never letting go of Jack

Judge Queen (White) as a turtle eating things
Judge Queen (White) in bed with James Marsters
Judge Queen (Black) in Middle Earth
Judge Queen (Black) as Dr. Who (Tenant)s companion
Judge Queen (Black) in Pride and Prejudice and Zombies
Judge King in the Superbowl
Judge King as Aragron
Judge King as Heath Ledger in A Knights Tale
Judge Rook in an Oscar winning film
Judge Rook as a cast member of Survivor
Judge Rook in Dinotopia
Jude Bishop winning le Tour de France
Jude Bishop as a desert seagull
Jude Bishop as Captain Mal (Serenity)
Judge Knight as an otter
Judge Knight as a T-Rex
Judge Knight as the cast of Dawsons Creek

150
150
150
150
150
150
150
150
150
150
150
150
150
150
150
150
150
150

22

DE-MOTIVATIONAL POSTERS
Make your own de-motivational posters, google them for inspiration. 100 points each, maximum of 6.

VIDEOS
A maximum of 12 minutes of video may be submitted for a total of 15,000 points.

5 Seconds
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

Aggressive Marketing
Eng vs. Science
Surprise
Angry Boys
A kick in the dick
Rage Quit
Slash bail
Cinco de Mayo
Im on a Snape
Thats wet

30 Seconds
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

This Fall
A Promo for SPRING BREAK
Heads Down, Thumbs Up: the drinking game
Instructional: How To Throw A Tantrum
Race Day Etiquette
How the modern family can deal with austerity measures
Grindr: The Horror Film
Grindr: The Musical
Most inappropriate moment to say Oh Yeah, Kool
Aid style.
The difference between there, their and theyre
explained through interpretive dance

1 minute
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.

Epic Mealtime
COPS: Melbourne Uni
Im On A Tram: A Music Video
A tribute the The Judges
eHarmony Video
An infomercial
The problem with jeggings
23

8.
9.
10.

Sues Corner (from Glee)

Scav Street talk
Most inappropriate moment to give Aragorns Not this
day! Speech.

This is this many seconds

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

Forrest Gump in 5 seconds

The Bible in 20 seconds
The Rocky Horror Picture Show in 20 seconds
University Life in 15 seconds
Twilight in 5 seconds
The Room in 12 seconds
The O.C. (Prosh version) in 20 seconds
The career of Arnold Schwarzenegger in 12 seconds
Team America is 10 seconds
The Neverending Story in 6 seconds

Re-dubs
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.

Pokemon
A sporting event
Care Bears
Toddlers and Tiaras
Masterchef

x. Gladiators: The Scav Edition

ESSAYS
Choose 3 essays, 1500 points per essay.

1. Discounting the price of alcohol would alleviate student poverty. Discuss.

2. What is Prosh Week to you?
3. Drag Queens. Its a Thing. Discuss.
4. A review of Beyonces album 4. Cite influences and impact on popular music.
5. Learning is for Winners, Discuss.
6. Slash fiction about the Judges, set at Hogwarts.
7.BOSS LYFE. Discuss.
8. Globalisation is the root and cause of all evil. Discuss.

24

9. Engineers, not lawyers, create the future.

10. Prosh is the solution to the impending GFC. Proshconomics. Minus points for
actual economics.
11. The crazy cat lady from The Simpsons is like Shakespeare: Often misunderstood
and poetic. Provide Close Scene Analysis to support your argument.
12. Can a time turner take you into the future? Discuss.

SONGS
Write one original song to be performed at Judging or recorded and played at Judging.
Maximum 30 seconds. 1500 points.

KIDNAPS
POINTS BREAKDOWN
150%
110%
100%
80%
70%
50%
30%
15%

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
11.
12.
13.
14.
15.
16.
17.
18.
19.
20.
21.

For making out with them at Judging

For a photo of you making out with them
For presenting them at Judging
For presenting them to the Judges at a time other than Judging
For a photo of them giving you a piggy back
For a photo of them in a team t-shirt
For a photo of them shaking hands with you
For a photo bomb

Derryn Hinch
Cadel Evans
Round The Twist Actors
Ray Martin
Margaret & David (At the Movies)
Richard Mercer (Love Song Dedications)
Frank Walker (National Tiles)
A Masterchef Judge
Chris Lilley (per alter ego)
Myf Warhurst
Cory Worthington
Amy Cumbucket (bonus if drunk)
Jeremy Pickett-Heaps & Rick Wetherbee*
Barry Hughes (bonus for maths puns)
Judge Pink
Judge Greed
Judge Kings Mum
Judge Queens Mum
Other Team Captains (by force only prior to Judging)
Judge Rooks Housemates
Michael O Malley

10,000
10,000
6,000
6,000
6,000
6,000
6,000
6,000
6,000
3,000
3,000
1,500
1,500
1,500
800
800
800
800
500
500
500

25

* Jeremy Pickett-Heaps and Rick Wetherbee are to be treated with the utmost respect, seriously.
Bonus if cable-tied together (willingly).

26