Commerce_ Year 3

Business Correspondence
EFFECTIVE BUSINESS WRITING
Questions that govern the process of writing

Why?

For whom?

Why do I write?
gives the reasons why that piece of writing is produced

For whom do I write?

makes the writer concentrate on the reader's interests and needs

What do I write?
What?

the writer focuses on the subject that should meet the reader's
needs

How should I write?

How?

selection and combination of vocabulary and structures;

order - to create sentences

- to develop them into paragraphs

will enable the reader to interpret the message as intended by the

writer

STAGES OF THE WRITING PROCESS

1.

Evaluating the circumstances and the reasons for writing

Why?

Assessing the readership / audience

- anticipating the reader's

2.

interests
level of understanding

For whom?

3.

Deciding on the core information that should be transmitted and its relevant
aspects

What?

4.

Working on the message and letting your personality show through

-

adapting your writing style to that particular communication situation

How?

From another point of view:

-

planning your writing (why? and for whom?)

developing a strategy for writing

FACTORS THAT MAY INFLUENCE THE QUALITY OF WRITING

1. THE WORDS
a. Denotation and connotation
b. Concrete and abstract words
c. The tone of the message
d. Short or long words?
e. Familiar and unbiased words
1. a. Denotation and connotation

the two co-ordinates of the meaning of every word

words have potential meaning

context

the sender's intention and knowledge

the receiver's understanding and attitude

Denotation = the factual definition of an object / situation / quality / idea etc.

Connotation = how a person feels about a word
A word
-

may have more than one denotative meaning

letter
graphic symbol for a sound A, D, M
information / message sent to somebody
-

connotations vary significantly [sometimes antagonistic connotations may be given to the

same word]
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ignorant "lack of knowledge"

usually: negative connotation
in legal disputes: positive connotation
My client was totally ignorant of any misuse of funds.
When we write:

to take into account both the denotations and the connotations of the words

to create adequate context

to use dictionaries (synonyms, spelling, cross-reference) creativity

to increase the reader's interest

to create a good impression

Uniqueness of individual writing style

starts to develop in childhood

through the whole learning process

during our whole life

P
b.

c.

it reflects:

our background

education

life experience

career training

etc.

necessary:
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to help the reader interpret the message in the way we want

additional knowledge about words

1. b. Concrete and abstract words

Concrete words:

They are:

The use of concrete words:

Abstract words:

denotation sends to tangible persons, objects, events, places

Examples: ball, house, excavator, smile, town etc.
-

direct

precise

specific in nature

avoids misunderstanding (+)

cannot express fully what the reader intended ()

Concepts
Ideas
Feelings
Impressions
Examples: professionalism, friendship, honesty, quality control,
decision-making, debate

Their meaning:

more difficult to express

Necessary:

to define them

to illustrate them

to place them in adequate context

to use them with caution

the reader should know exactly what we mean

Examples:
1. Group

a group of close friends

your office colleagues

specialists in the same field

mathematical concept

2. majority, most, few, several interpretation left to the reader

Business writing clarity = a main objective
Abstract words Concrete words
1. The amount the client has to pay is large.

The client has to pay $ 20,000

2. The draft will be due in several months.
The draft will be due in three months.
3. We are ready to cover part of these expenses.

We are ready to cover 40 % of these expenses.

1. c. The tone of the message

Combination of words range of impressions tone of the message
positive
neutral
negative
Difficult task: it involves:
-

finding the most appropriate words

careful selection

creating adequate context

dealing with positive and negative words

Generally thought:
negative words negative communication
Examples: no, disappoint, unable, cannot, delay, defect
However:
Examples: "On inspecting the shipment, we were unable to find any flaw".

negative words positive meaning

importance of context

to convey bad news

to say no with a negative word

depends on the relationship with the reader/partner

two possibilities

Examples:
a. No complaint will be taken into account after 45 days.
b. Complaints will be taken into account if made within 45 days.

1. d. Short or long words

Requirement: writing in business is short and simple
Yet the use of short, simple words does not always guarantee clearness
Necessary:
-

to consider the reader first

to decide on the level of writing

Sometimes: short/simple words overused + lose their power

Necessary:
-

to use vivid/lively words

impact on the reader

Examples:
Overused
1.

Pursuant to your request, we are enclosing herewith a copy of our financial report.
improved version

2.

Here is the financial report you requested.

1. e. Familiar and unbiased words

Recommendation:

to avoid
-

jargon

slang expression

words showing gender, age, race discrimination

to be more sensitive to people's feelings

to select words that express sensitivity.

Business letters
General aspects
Communication between companies various means

telephones

fax machines

the Internet

a certain degree of informality that may not illustrate the real nature of the relationship
Consequently any important element in business, discussed or agreed upon the
phone, should be confirmed by an official, formal letter
For this reason (and for many others) writing ability appears in the top three
activities of a business person
Businesses value effective communicators:

being an effective writer can enhance your professional career

people in other departments of the company get to know you through your writing

your letters may get your superiors attention showing how effective (or ineffective)
you are as a business communicator.
The layout of a business letter
The layout of a business letter some specific elements
Information about:

the two companies that communicate by letters

the people authorized to communicate on behalf of each company

or may refer to the filing system that enables tracing a letter (or a number of letters in
the correspondence file)

Letterhead
Date
Reference line
Inside address

Salutation

Subject line

Main body of the letter

Complimentary line

Authors signature
Typed name
Position
Enclosures

Fig. 1. Main parts of a business letter

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Figure 5. Main parts of a business letter.

The letterhead
Information about the sender:
the logo
the companys name and status
its address
telephone/fax number/ e-mail address
The date
There are various ways to express date:
2.11. 2011
2/11/2011
The 1st of November 2011
November 1st, 2011
In business correspondence pattern recommended:

2 November 2011
The reference line
Your ref. (your reference)
Our ref. (our reference)
helps tracing a letter in the file

the name of the person who signed the letter

the name of the typist

the filing code

Example: Your ref.: FW/ms/P25

-

the letter was written/signed by Frank Warrington

it was typed by Mary Storm

is located in the file P (petrol) 25

"Our ref." gives similar information about the sender

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The inside address indicates the following:

name and address of the addressee
position in the company (e.g. The Supply Manager, The Chief Accountant etc.)
department
mail address written exactly as given by your partner
The salutation
Forms of address used to open business letters
depend on: the addressees status
the social distance between the partners
Dear Sir when the addressee is a gentleman whose name we do not know;
Dear Sirs used to address a company;
Dear Madam the addressee is a lady whose name we do not know;
Dear Mr Robertson/ Dear Mrs/ Ms/Miss Watson to address a person whose name is
known to the writer;
Dear Bill - used to address a person with whom the writer is on friendly terms
High officials or personalities:
(the addressees name is associated with)
-

courtesy titles

titles deriving from appointment or honours

rewards

Useful information:
-

no special form of address for the Prime Minister and members of the
Ministry

ambassadors are addressed as:

Your Excellency (formal)
Dear Mr Rodson or Dear Lord Bart

The subject line

below the salutation and underlined

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tells what the letter is about

helps the reader direct the letter to the right person

facilitates fast processing of correspondence

Dear Mr Winter
Tax collection

The body of the letter the main text of the letter (the message of

the rule of the four Cs

clear, concise, correct, courteous

divided into paragraphs

the letter)

information distributed according

to the role of each paragraph
The opening paragraph

makes connection between the subject line and the rest of the text (" above" or
"above-mentioned")

refers to the source of information, which is used as a basis for the letter you are
writing

The following two or three paragraphs

the proper message of the letter

describe facts/give arguments/ make complaints/ make suggestions etc

(according to the purpose of the letter)

The closing paragraph

emphasises the main idea of the letter

restate the writers point of view

conclusion of the letter

The last sentence of this paragraph often contains the formula:

We look/are looking forward to hearing/ receiving news from you
We look/are looking forward to your answer/reply/letter
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The complimentary line

depends on the level of formality

the relationship between the writer and the addressee

directly related to the salutation

Differences between British and American English:

British English
Salutation

Complimentary line

Dear Madam / Sir(s)

Dear Mr/Mrs/Ms/Miss Waters/

Yours faithfully
Dear

colleague/friend/customer
Dear Mary

Yours sincerely /Best regards/ wishes/ Kind

regards
Yours/ Best regards/ wishes/ Kind regards

American English
Salutation
Gentlemen:/ Dear Madam / Sir(s)

Complimentary line
Truly yours/Yours truly/ / Faithfully yours/

Dear Mr/Mrs/Ms/Miss Hudson

Yours faithfully
Sincerely yours/ Yours sincerely/ Best regards/

Dear Nicholas

Best wishes/Cordially yours

Best regards/ Cordially

The signature given together with

the writer's typed name

the writers position in the company

If the writer is not the person authorised to sign the letter:

the printed name is preceded by:
p.p. (per procurationem) or
for:
Mary Smith
p.p. Tom Richard
Supply Manager
Enclosure line the last point of a business letter
abbreviated to Enc./encl.
gives the list of additional documents sent with the letter:
Encl.: 2 copies of the Monthly Statement
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Types of business letter layout

MEDEQUIP Ltd.
, WA 53124
27 January 2002
Our ref. CG/mn/ T 99
Mr Paul Levin
Marketing Society
667
WA 64702
Dear Mr Levin
Training course
We are writing to you in connection with the above-metioned subject, following your article on new trends

Since your ideas seem very interesting to us, we would like to invite you to deliver some lectures to our sa
We are sure that the new strategy you propose for selling medical equipmen

Could you please confirm, by 15 February 2004, if you would accept our invitation? All the other de
We look forward to your answer.
Yours sincerely,
Marion Evans
Human Resources Manager

Fig.2 Business letter (sample).

Layout patterns/ styles:

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 indented style
block style
semi-indented style
The indented style requires:
letterhead
inside address
complimentary close
signature block

each line be indented as compared to the line above

closed punctuation (full stops, commas, etc) is used after each element and line of
these layout items
letter body

the first line of each paragraph is indented

reference line
date line
complimentary line

are placed on the right-hand side

The block style
all layout items are placed on the left-hand side
punctuation is omitted from all the items except for the main letter body
each line of the paragraphs starts in the left-hand margin
paragraphs are separated by double space
The two patterns differ from many points of view
However, the use of punctuation in the main body of the letter is compulsory in both
cases.
Combinations of the two patterns:
semi-block style - (when some elements are placed in the centre of the paper or on the
right-hand side)
semi-indented style

indentation of the first line of each paragraph

full punctuation (inside address, salutation, complimentary
line, signature block and enclosure
line)
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(letter head)______________
___________
_________
(date)______________
(ref. Line) ________
(inside address)
_________________
_______________
_____________
___________

(salutation)
____________________
__(subject line)
_______________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________

(complimentary line)______________
(signature)
(typed name)___________________
(position)_________________
(Encl.)______________
Figure 7. Indented style layout (sample).

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MAKING AN ENQUIRY
(letter head)__________
____________________
____________________
(date)________
(ref.line)________
(inside address)_________
Your ref:
______________________
Our ref: AC/gc/ Amst 03
______________________
______________________

Complete the
following letter

SUNSHINE Hotels
10 Lion Street
7 AHD Amsterdam
The Netherlands
15 December 2003

The ROMFAST Bank

12 Queen Mary Street
District 3
(salutation)__________
Bucharest
(subject line)_____________
Romania

___________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________
Dear Sirs
___________________________________________________________
Re: Banking services
___________________________________________________________

We 1 your 2 from Mr Toma Dnescu, General Manager of

___________________________________________________________
"RomTour"- Bucharest, who has 3 you as one of the most reliable banks in
___________________________________________________________
Romania.
___________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________
We are 4 the hotel5 and our 6 of hotels is well-known 7
Europe. We have recently 8 the Romanian market, with two 9 in
(complimentary
line)____________________
Bucharest
and we would 10 to 11 your bank for paying 12our
(signature)
staff 12our suppliers.
(typed name)__________
Figure 8. Block style (sample).
(position)_____________
We would 14 if you 14 send us 15 about the card system and

credit lines you can 16 us.

(Encl)_______________
We look 18 to 19 from you soon.

Yours 20
SCarlsson
Steven Carlsson
Head of Finance Department
and then answer the questions:
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1. Who writes on behalf of SUNSHINE Hotels?

2. Who is the addressee?
3. What information is given in the first paragraph?
4. What does Mr Carlson say in the second paragraph of his letter?
5. Which of the phrases below would you use to refer to Mr. Carlsons action?
He is arranging a meeting
making payment
sorting out letters
giving a presentation
making an enquiry
making a proposal
Letters of enquiry asking for information
You make an enquiry in order to find out:

where you can find the product

how much you have to pay for it

if you can get a discount

what quantities of that product are available

how soon the supplier may honour your order

what similar products are available on the market

The paragraphs of an enquiry letter have clear functions:

Paragraph
1st

Function

Examples

introduction

"We have found the September issue of

your magazine in the library of "RomTour"(how you found
Bucharest."
information about the
"Mr. Steven Robson, Managing Director of
addressee: name, address,
FINDAS Corporation, one of our partners,
type of business etc.)
has recommended your company to us and
"
"We have heard of your firm at the 3rd Fair
of Consumer Goods in Tokyo last year."
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2nd ; 3rd

last
paragraph

giving additional
information about the
situation;
giving brief
information about your
company;
offering to give further
information;
launching the request.

ending the letter (a

formal sentence to
close politely)

"We are in the hotel industry and our

chain of hotels is well-known throughout
Europe"
- "Our company is involved in road
building."
- "We will be happy to offer you further
details."
- "We would like your comments on the
possibility of organising a joint
conference."
- "We would appreciate if you would
consider our proposal for a partnership."
"Could you please send us your catalogue and
price list?"

"We look forward to hearing from you."

The general structure of an enquiry letter:

may begin directly with the request
information about the sender + his interest in the request made
has to indicate the source of information, which has facilitated the enquiry
A letters enquiring about people more specific

it shows clearly who you are enquiring about

describes the situation that has led to the enquiry (promotion to a top position,
new employment, a prospective merger/partnership etc.)

Recommendations:

include a set of clear questions that will help the respondent to structure the answer
accordingly

these letters should be very objective

should rely on facts

the information supplied should be used for business purposes only

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getting or giving information about someone with the permission from the person
concerned

such information must be treated confidentially

REPLIES TO ENQUIRIES

A serious businessperson will always answer an enquiry.

Answers:

positive an order or a contract will follow

negative (refusal)

Interested in the proposal answer it promptly!

Experienced business people move fast:
confirm the letter: orally, over the phone, by e-mail
a formal letter will be sent later
Read the enquiry reply letter below and then find in its text the parts that comply with the
functions given in the list below:
a. confirming receipt of enquiry and thanking for the letter
b. expressing satisfaction for being contacted
c. giving specific information in answer to the questions in the enquiry
d. taking action
e. closing optimistically, expressing hope for future co-operation

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ROMFAST BANK
23 King Ferdinand Bulevard
District 1, Bucharest
Romania
20 December 2003
Your ref: SC/gc/Rom.03
Our ref: OD/ms/ Amst 03
The SUNSHINE Hotels
10 Lion Street
7 AHD Amsterdam
The Netherlands
Dear Mr Carlsson,
Re: Your letter of 15 December 2003
Thank you for your above-mentioned letter enquiring about our banking
services. As you have found out from some of our clients, our standards are
high and our services prompt and efficient.
We have recently developed our range of products, including some new credit
lines, which are successfully used by many large Romanian firms and foreign
companies working in Romania.
We are sending you enclosed a detailed description of our products and hope
that you will find them suitable for you. Please contact us by phone or e-mail
if you have additional questions. Our staff will be glad to help you make the
best choice.
We look forward to hearing from you soon.
Yours sincerely
ODumitrescu
Oana Dumitrescu
Head of Marketing Department

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2. Giving negative replies to enquiries

2.a Complete the following sentences that are often used in letters expressing refusal:
1. We are __________ that we ___________ send the goods so soon.
2. We ________sorry ______ we ________ unable to help you ______ developing the
project.
3. We are sorry to _________you that we __________invest in hotel industry.
4. We _________ that we are __________to grant you such a big loan without third_______ guarantee.
5. We ____________ inform you _______ the C12 video projectors are _____ of stock.
6. We _________to inform you that the opening you are interested in was filled two
weeks ago.
7. ____________, you have failed to supply the goods as per the contract.
2.b Now fill in the paragraphs below taken from two letters of refusal:
"We 1 to inform you that we no 2 manufacture the projector type you are 3 in.
Instead, we could 4 you a similar product at an affordable 5 and significantly 6
characteristics."
" Thank you for 1 letter 220 June 2004 3 about a bank 4.
After careful 5 of your documents, we 6 to 7 you that we are 8 to help
you.
9, you do not 10 sufficient collateral, as it results 11your documents."
A letter of refusal
carefully worded
the general tone of the letter respect and understanding
to create a favourable atmosphere for a possible relationship in the future
Stages:

confirm receipt of the enquiry letter

express regret (for not being able to help)

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give reasons for your negative answer

offer an alternative (if possible)

end on a friendly, encouraging tone

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STAR Bank
5 Long Street
Edinburgh
3E 56 EG
Great Britain
Grungwald and Son
24 Forest Street
Amsterdam
The Netherlands
Dear Mr Grundwald
Reply to enquiry
Thank you for your letter 118 May 2002.
2 your proposal is very attractive, we 3 that we are 4 to
invest in your project for the moment.
5 some management changes, we 6 restricted our 7
funds for a certain 8of time. We 9 move back to our 10
investment 11 as 12 as some old 13 will 14been
15. We estimate that this will not 16more 17six months.
18 your proposal is really interesting; we can take your project as a
priority at that time.
Thank you again for your19.
20 our proposal does 21fit you, we would like to 22you
every success in the future.
Yours 23
MBray
Mary Bray
Head of Investments Department

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