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3 Methods of
Prayer That
will Change
Your Life
By Philip Kosloski
Scripture quotations are from the DouayRheims Bible, 1899 American
Edition. This version of the Bible is in the Public Domain.
Copyright 2016 by Philip A. Kosloski
All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be
reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express
written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations
in a book review.
www.philipkosloski.com

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 3 Methods of Prayer That Will Change Your Life
Do you struggle with prayer? I know that I do and it took me many years
before I felt confident in prayer and understood the many movements of
God in my heart. For much of my life I knew that I had to devote myself
to prayer, but I didnt know how to pray.
That is why I am eternally grateful for the 3 methods of prayer that I will
share with you in this short eBook. It is my hope that you will also
benefit from them and continue on in the struggle to be saints in the
modern world.
Before I start, let me say one thing: discovering how to pray is a
lifelong adventure and the methods I describe are only a starting point,
a map that can point us in the right direction.
Let us also remember that prayer is not meant to be rigid and full of
formulas we must use. If we restrict ourselves to saying 100 Our
Fathers and 400 Hail Marys every day and look at going to daily Mass
as another box on our checklist of prayer, we are missing the whole
point.
Prayer, above all else, is a relationship. As Saint Therese so eloquently
put it,
For me, prayer is a surge of the heart; it is a simple look turned
toward heaven, it is a cry of recognition and of love, embracing
both trial and joy (Story of a Soul).
This quote was deliberately put at the very start of the Catechisms
section on What is Prayer and should always be kept in mind.
Prayer is an action of the heart, as we cry out to God and lay before
Him all of our needs and worries.

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God is the bridegroom and we are all His bride. Prayer is the way in
which we can respond to the bridegrooms invitation to the wedding
feast of the Lamb.
Also, prayer is an adventure in loving God. He leads us in different
ways and almost never in the same way. He is always challenging us and
beckoning us to follow Him to go farther up and further in. He is
also the Lion of the Tribe of Judah and as C.S. Lewis depicted Him in
the Chronicles of Narnia, Hes wild, you know. Not like a tame lion.
God is wild in a good sense. One cannot simply pin Him down and treat
Him like a machine that dispenses candy; If I pray 10 Rosaries today,
my prayer will be answered. God wants to teach us how to love him
and love is always an adventure.
With that said, here are three methods of prayer that have the power to
change your life. I am not saying that you must use these methods and
do so in a systematic way. I am simply offering these to you to take on
your quest to draw closer to the heart of God.
1. Heart to Heart
The first method we should explore is a simple heart to heart
conversation with God. It is the simplest and hardest way to pray. It
consists of talking to God as if you were talking to the person you trust
the most. This means not just talking about surface feelings, thoughts or
desires, but more importantly talking about what is really bothering you
in your heart.
There might be a deep wound that is still there from your childhood or a
real doubt that God exists because of a profound evil that has happened
in your life. Above all else, take everything to God, especially the
deepest desires and hurts of your heart.

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There is no formula in this method of prayer. It is a simple conversation
with God, where we must speak, but also listen (and often the answer
does not come immediately or in audible words).
St. Teresa of Avila said, For mental prayer in my opinion is nothing else
than an intimate sharing between friends; it means taking time
frequently to be alone with Him who we know loves us.
It requires patience and honesty on our part. God wants to hear from us,
but He also wants to speak to us.
It is not aways easy to see, but God desires our wellbeing. He does not
hate or scorn us. He does not inflict evil upon us. As God said through
the prophet Jeremiah:
For I know the thoughts that I think towards you, says the Lord,
thoughts of peace, and not of affliction, to give you an end and
patience. And you shall call upon me, and you shall go: and you shall
pray to me, and I will hear you. You shall seek me, and shall find
me: when you shall seek me with all your heart. And I will be found
by you, says the Lord. (Jeremiah 29:11-14, empahsis added).
The main problem from our perspective is that we only see a particular
moment in time. We cannot always connect the dots and see the bigger
picture. That is why faith and trust are essential to prayer. We pray to
God in hopes that our prayers will be answered, but we do so trusting
that His answer is always for our benefit.
In particular, God desires above all else our salvation. This means that
Gods answer will always be in relation to our eternal destiny.
It is helpful to envision God as a Divine Physician, who only gives us
medicine that speeds us along the path to eternal life. Saint Augustine
put it this way:
He who faithfully prays God for the necessaries of this life, is
both mercifully heard, and mercifully not heard. For the
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 physician knows better than the sick man what is good for the
disease.
2. Acknowledge. Relate. Receive. Respond (ARRR)
This next method comes from the wisdom of Saint Ignatius of Loyola
and those involved with the Institute for Priestly Formation. Jim
Beckman sums them up in his book God, Help Me: How to Grow in
Prayer:
First we get in touch with what is moving in our hearts, particularly
at the deepest level acknowledge.
Second, we relate those movements to God in prayer.
Third, we listen and receive whatever he desires to give us in
response to what we shared.
Finally, we respond to what we just received, which is typically a
natural movement, not something forced or burdensome.
By doing these actions, we speak to God and discern what He is
doing in our hearts and respond to wherever He is leading us.
Here is another way of formulating this type of prayer
(http://austinvocations.com/a-r-r-r-prayer):
Acknowledge Openly and honestly with out prejudice
acknowledge how you are before God. What you are experiencing?
What is moving in your heart?
Marian Example: At the Annunciation Mary was troubled and
pondered what the words of the Angel meant.
Relate Bring yourself as you are into relationship with God by
relating your experience to Him. Speak to him from your heart.

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 Marian Example: At the Annunciation Mary asked, How can this
be?
Receive Listen to what God is doing with the movements of your
heart. Receive his presence and the constancy of his love.
Marian Example: The Holy Spirit will come upon you.
Respond What we receive impels us to respond in gratitude and
with renewed heart.
Marian Example: Marys fiat, May it be done unto me
3. Lectio Divina
A great way to start recognizing how God is speaking to us by way of
the ancient practice of Lectio Divina. Pope Benedict XVI spoke about
the importance of this art of prayer a few years ago:
I would like in particular to recall and recommend the ancient
tradition of Lectio divina: the diligent reading of Sacred Scripture
accompanied by prayer brings about that intimate dialogue in which
the person reading hears God who is speaking, and in praying,
responds to him with trusting openness of heart (cf. Dei Verbum, n.
25). If it is effectively promoted, this practice will bring to the Church
I am convinced of it a new spiritual springtime. (Dei Verbum
and Lectio Divina)
Lectio Divina or divine reading is a method of prayer that involves
reflecting on Sacred Scripture and immersing oneself in the scene,
discovering what God wants to tell us in a specific passage. Here is a
great resource that describes the various steps in Lectio Divina and gives
a worksheet on how to do it.
As a note, you can practice Lectio Divina on a daily basis by reading the
daily readings for Mass or by simply walking through one chapter a day
of the Gospels.

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There are certainly many other methods of prayer, put these three are at
the center of a deep relationship with God. We must not be afraid to be
vulnerable with God and to talk to Him about all the cares and worries
of our life.
I am sure after reading this you were hoping for something more
complicated: a formula that said Do this, this and this and you will
experience a divine ecstasy.
Prayer is not like that.
Prayer is like the story that Saint John Vianney relates of a parishioner.
He found a man sitting in his church in front of the tabernacle and asked
him what he was doing. The man famously responded,
I look at him and he looks at me.
That is prayer.
Certainly we can use formula prayers and we should. We should pray the
Rosary every day, but that should not be the only type of prayer we
engage in.
Remember, prayer is a relationship. It is an adventure. The real trick
is allowing God to lead us and following Him with complete trust. We
must have faith and hope that God knows what we need and that He
knows the way to Eternal Life. In fact, He is the Way.

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 Appendices
i. Resources on Prayer
Resources to Get Started:
33 Days to Morning Glory: A Do-It-Yourself Retreat In Preparation for
Marian Consecration by Fr. Michael E. Gaitley, MIC (Marian Press)
Oremus: A Guide to Catholic Prayer by Fr. Mark Toups
(Ascension Press)
*Note: This is an excellent eight week retreat that can be done as a
group or individually. This is a DVD guided study on prayer that is
one of the best I have ever seen. Has content both for the beginner as
well as the seasoned veteran of prayer. I highly recommend to start
here.
God, Help Me: How to Grow in Prayer by Jim Beckman
(Servant Books)
Praying Scripture for a Change: An Introduction to Lectio Divina by
Tim Gray (Ascension Press)
Searching for and Maintaining Peace: A Small Treatise on Peace of
Heart by Fr. Jacques Philippe (Society of St. Paul)
The Discernment of Spirits: An Ignatian Guide for Everday Living by
Timothy Gallagher, O.M.V. (Crossroad)
The Little Oratory: A Beginner's Guide to Praying in the Home by
David Clayton and Leila Marie Lawler (Sophia Institute Press)
Augustine on Prayer by John E. Rotelle (Catholic Book Publishing Co.)

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