Negotiating Face to Face - Tactics or Trickery?

By Keith E Rowe

In my KNACK of Negotiating training sessions, the focus is usually on

the 'tug-o war' that takes place between suppliers and retailers, as they
both strive to protect their share of a diminishing trading margin. The
ongoing relationship between these parties is invariably a vital factor, so
I am careful to impress on my trainees that, irrespective of whether they
are the buyer or seller, a genuine win/win outcome is really all about
applying those skills in a friendly conversational manner, not unlike that
same genuine interactive eye-to-eye contact they would enjoy with a
friend or colleague. My aim is therefore to uncover and develop the
threads of their personal expertise - their interpersonal skills,
communication techniques, and selling dialogue - and weave them into a
complete basket of negotiating tools that is effective, but basically non-
confrontational.

However, my trainees are quick to realise that the other party may well
possess the same skills and be trying to create the same comfortable
atmosphere, so maybe a tie-breaker or two is necessary to break up the
party before it simply becomes a 'group hug'. They are quick to realise
that they will need to come up with some sort of strategy to give them
the edge, not necessarily unfair, but at least competitive. They are
anxious to explore what common trickery they must learn to combat, and
on a more positive note, what legitimate tactics they can use to gain the
upper hand.

Over time, these discussions have furnished me with a couple of handy

checklists, one at the pre-planned strategic level, and another at the
more reactive tactical level. You might find my workbook notes from
these round table sessions rather useful, so to help with retention, I have
compiled the first of these - the strategic issues - in the form of a
memorable acronym - NEGOTIATING:

N o must be an option - be prepared to walk

E motions must be controlled

G et a concession for every one you give

O rganise your information - do your homework

T alk with absolute conviction

I nvite the other party to present first

A im for the top with your expectation

T iming is important - don't rush the deal

I nformation is critical - ask and listen

N ever ignore the other party's needs

G ive pressure - don't take it

No must be an option - be prepared to walk. In other words, never

negotiate without the most powerful option of all - your preparedness
and willingness to say no. When you indicate that you will withdraw from
discussions if you can't strike a satisfactory deal, the other party will
know that you are serious, that you mean business. They can see that
you are not desperate, and that you will be unlikely to yield to their
demands simply to make a deal. It must not be seen as a threat or an
ultimatum, simply a reasonable statement of your position, a reflection of
your capability to walk away from the table if you are not able to reach
an agreement. Effective negotiators not only know when to walk, but
how to do it leaving the relationship intact. Of course it is not prudent to
walk away unless you have somewhere to walk to - a viable alternative.
Even if you have, the threat of walking should not be seen as a safety
net, but be used as a bargaining point. Rather than allowing it to simply
become the soft option, or the proverbial 'dummy-spit', it should be used
to provide leverage in your negotiation. To preserve its impact, it should
be used sparingly, and seriously... remember the legend of 'the boy who
cried wolf'.

Emotions must be controlled. Fretting over the other party's

behaviour, or over issues that are not pertinent to making the deal, can
sabotage a negotiation. If someone is rude or difficult to handle, the most
important thing is to take the time to ascertain the motive behind it.
Above all, remain detached, and don't take it personally. It is far more
productive to fill the role of moderator, rather than perpetrator.

Get a concession for every one you give. Whenever you give
something away, get something in return, otherwise you are inviting the
other party to ask you for additional concessions. The old adage 'if we
give something for nothing, it will be valued at nothing' applies here. If
they have to earn your concession, they will derive a greater sense of
satisfaction, and realise that they must trade something of equivalent
value. This might sound easy, but in reality is can be quite difficult to do.
There is a great temptation to say yes too quickly, particularly from the
seller side of the table, as many salespeople mistakenly think that they
will lose the sale if they don't agree to the full concession or immediately
accept the first offer. On the other side, most buyers accept that hard
negotiating is part of the deal-making process, and are more inclined to
stand their ground. Before you agree to the other party's demand, you
need to take the time to absorb the likely ramifications, and consider a
counter offer.

Organise your information - do your homework. Having the discipline

to invest time in pre-qualifying as much as possible of the other party's
wants and needs with comprehensive blueprinting is always an easier
option than having to do it all during the negotiation process. Take the
time and make the effort to gather as much information on the other
party as you can before the negotiation - their company, their product,
their proposition, their needs, and the personal motivators of the
individuals, even down to their career aspirations. What pressures do
they feel? What options do they have? Having these known factors at
hand can allow you to set a plan which gives full rein to your 'live'
interactive skills - particularly your body language interpretations - to
deal with the unknown.

Talk with absolute conviction. We all know that we can never be sure
if we have communicated effectively or not until we get some feedback.
To minimise the disruption caused by continually pausing to seek that
feedback, you need to deliver your message with conviction. When you
are stating your case, whether tabling an offer or responding to one, you
must leave nothing up in the air; you must substantiate any claim or
statement you might make by supporting it with a fact, pointing out the
logical advantage, and in turn highlighting the personal benefits that will
flow from it. Remember, a feature of your proposition will mean nothing
to the other party until its advantage is recognised, and you have
confirmation that the benefit of it is appreciated.

Invite the other party to present first. There are two schools of
thought here. One is that the first offer or demand to hit the table enjoys
a psychological advantage; that it serves as an anchor, and becomes a
credible benchmark which tends to remain in the back of the minds of
both parties throughout the negotiation. It's a bit like competing in a high
jump or pole vault - in fact any competitive sport. Once the height of the
bar has been set, or the fastest time has been done, it becomes the goal
that must be chased down. This is certainly the case in life or death
situations, or where formal demands are involved, such as a trade union
log of claims. However, in the commercial buying and selling situation,
most experienced negotiators believe that everything is negotiable and
that leading the charge is not such an influential factor. They are
generally comfortable letting the other party set the pace, not unlike
having the last word as the closing speaker in a formal debate. Buyers
should always invite their suppliers to first 'show all they have to offer'.
This is a much better way to establish just what product and profit
opportunities are available... and it avoids the temptation to over-
prescribe the requirements. Again, it is a case of the old card-playing
rule - 'reveal only enough to win the hand'. The situation is no different
from the other side either. While it is often inevitable that the seller needs
to present their proposition first, I nevertheless encourage my sales
trainees to refrain from telegraphing too much of their offer until they
have used their open-question routines to pinpoint what the buyer is
looking for. It may seem like a game of cat and mouse, but it is surely no
game. Saving the best to last in all or any particular part of a negotiation
must be your preferred strategy.

Aim for the top with your expectation. Successful negotiators are
optimists, so don't be afraid to ask. If you expect more, you'll get more. A
proven strategy for achieving higher results is opening with an ambit
claim - an extravagant proposition. Within reason, sellers should ask for
more than they expect, and buyers should offer less than they are
prepared to pay. This provides the necessary bargaining leverage. While
you must know your fallback position, and be sure about what
concessions you are prepared to make on each of the main issues, your
initial aim must be pitched above all that. Nothing short of the best
possible outcome must be your starting objective, and along the way, if
the odds happen to swing strongly in your favor on any key point, you
need to have the courage to put all your fallback plans aside and just 'go
for it'.

Timing is important - don't rush the deal. Being patient is sometimes

very difficult - you want to get it over with, to just get the deal done. Sure,
you need to know what to ask for, but being sensitive to when to press
for it is just as important. Usually, the party who is more flexible about
time has the advantage. Your patience can be unsettling to the other
party if they are in a hurry because they believe that you are not under
pressure to conclude the deal. This may encourage them to offer
incentives to speed up the process. If you suspect you may be
pressured for time, remember that 'prevention is better than cure'. A
pragmatic approach to setting and agreeing the meeting
timetable/agenda in the first place will help to avoid this problem.
Although you may attempt to impose a deadline on the other party, you
must never reveal that you are tied to one: this will simply invite the other
party to exploit it. You need to also consider the overall timing, as there
are clearly good times to negotiate, bad times to negotiate, and times
when you really should take a break and give both parties the
opportunity to ponder their position. The bad times could include when
there is unreasonable stress or anger developing on either side,
tiredness is setting in, or there is preoccupation with something else that
is not specifically related to the issue at hand.

Information is critical - ask and listen. While your ability and

willingness to ask well-considered open questions - to invite the specific
information you need - is important, being disciplined enough to listen to
the answers is absolutely vital. Remember, the deafest person is the one
who doesn't listen. Don't forget too, that your eyes can do as much,
perhaps more, of the active listening for you. Despite this, too many
people just can't stop talking. Good negotiators ask their probing
questions and then let their silence do the job. The other party will tell
you everything you need to know - all you have to do is watch and listen.
The catch is that we are often so busy making sure that people hear
what we have to say - or thinking about what we must say next - that we
forget to listen to what they are trying to tell us. This is a serious flaw in
any form of communication. In negotiating, it can be fatal!

Never ignore the other party's needs. The best negotiators don't let
their own ego get in the way of a good deal, nor do they set out to make
the other party feel entrapped. The outcome is what is important to them,
not who appears the smarter, or who gets credit for it. Having a range of
pre-planned options ready for discussion is a proven strategy. Not only
does it make the other party feel empowered to make the best choice,
but it shows the consideration you bring to the table. It demonstrates the
forethought and planning you have invested in negotiating a deal that will
work for them too. If you help the other side to feel satisfied they will be
more inclined to help you satisfy your needs. That does not mean you
should give in to all their positions. Satisfying the other party means
fulfilling their real interests, not necessarily meeting their stated
demands. You must keep in mind that their position, or demands, is what
they say they want; their basic interest is what they really need to get.
Give pressure - don't take it. We have a tendency to focus on our own
pressure, on the reasons why we need to make a deal. This can not only
hold us back, but is easily sensed by the other party, who may then use
it to manipulate a stronger position. Instead, ask yourself what pressures
they may be under. They will surely have some. Look to discover what
those pressures are, then plan to use them to advantage. By all means,
be prepared with a range of alternatives to help them resolve any
handicaps they may have, but avoid absorbing their problems. You don't
want their 'monkey on your back'. Throughout complex negotiations,
these pressure points will ebb and flow. You will develop what are
commonly called 'positional power-plays', where you hold the upper
hand on a certain issue. The other party will have their moments as well.
Being vigilant enough to recognise this state of play early enough to
capitalise on your advantage, or to diffuse theirs, is very important.
Again, body language will provide most of the clues, the extremes signs
of confidence versus nervousness being very visual and very obvious.

Once we have digested these overall strategies, we can pretty much

pre-plan how we might manage the negotiation process. However,
across the negotiating table, not everything goes to plan, so we need to
get down to the tactical level, the ground level banter that may emerge
during the course of the negotiation. Some of it may well be part of a
pre-ordained strategy, but often it will be a spur-of-the-moment reaction.
Tactics like this are certainly a mixed bag, and while many of them can
be employed legitimately, often they are simply used as destabilising
tactics. Most of the common examples have arisen in my workshops. I
call these 'the Dirty Dozen', not necessarily because there is anything
dirty or underhand about them, but purely to help with retention. Whether
you are fairly and justifiably using them yourself or find yourself having to
combat them, you need to be aware of these common tactics. Here they
are:

1. The Emotional Outburst

2. The Timeframe Tactic

3. The Final Bite

4. The Higher Authority

5. The Written Contract

6. The Silent Treatment

7. The Good Guy/Bad Guy Pantomime

8. The Ultimatum

9. The Setting

10. The Order of Presentation

11. The Ignorance Plea

12. The Minor Point Argument

1. The Emotional Outburst. If used deliberately, this is usually a tactic

to speed the negotiation to a conclusion, or to derail the real argument. If
it occurs spontaneously, it can become quite personal, and may have
the power to override sound reasoning from both sides. Overcoming the
temptation to respond in kind is clearly the best way to deflate the
emotional balloon and to allow the conversation to drift (or be steered)
back to the real issue. We must remember that anger and rationality do
not go hand in hand. Not to be confused with this is the more controlled
and polite showing of emotions, among the most common of which is the
so-called 'flinch' or 'wince', a silent but visible reaction to disappointment.
It delivers a very clear indication that you are not satisfied with that
particular aspect of the deal, and are expecting better. And, it does so
without inflaming any nerve endings!

2. The Timeframe Tactic. If things aren't going their way, successful

negotiators will often fall back on the tactic of prolonging discussions
until a last minute sense of urgency becomes inevitable, and a
concession is required to break the stalemate. It is not necessarily pre-
planned; it can arise out of frustration during the course of the
negotiation. It is important under these circumstances to give a clear
message that you aren't flustered by it. I have been in this very situation
once myself, in Tokyo. Japanese businessmen frequently use this tactic,
although in their case it is not so much an on-the-run tactic, but a well-
practised delay strategy, with the final decision phase often spilling into
the airport departure lounge. While suggesting that you will have no
alternative but to walk if you cannot reach agreement might be a
reasonable response in most circumstances, not so with the Japanese.
Anything remotely resembling an ultimatum is seen as a threat - a loss of
face - and a sleight on their culture. I simply countered it by asking my
hosts to cancel my return flight and extend my hotel stay for me.
Fortunately, it worked. They could see that I was determined to use the
same patient, determined, and committed approach to decision-making
that characterised their own business culture, and that I was not
prepared to be hustled. It cost me an extra day, but the result proved it
worthwhile.

3. The Final Bite. Often called the 'nibble', this is the tactic of seeking
one last concession after the major issues have been agreed, often with
the simple phrase, 'Oh, by the way, now that we have...' Understanding
how to both use and disarm this tactic is vital to any negotiator. If you are
old enough to have seen the television detective show Colombo, you will
remember how our unkempt, bumbling hero, Inspector Colombo, solved
most of his mysteries by appearing to conclude a conversation,
beginning to walk away, then nonchalantly turning back with just one last
question. This is not just good script-writing; this is good negotiating!

4. The Higher Authority. Usually withheld to the decision-making stage,

this tactic is based on a response like, 'I have gone as far as my
authority will allow on this. Any further movement will need to be
approved from above'. Alternatively, the other party may simply duck for
cover under the veil of company policy. Ideally this is negated by
qualifying the 'decision-making authority' position up front, but if you are
confronted by this, treat it as a positive. It is an invitation to pursue it
further, and you should accept the invitation to do so. If you are the one
using this tactic, it is important that you get a commitment before
referring it for higher approval. For example, 'If I can get this approved
for you, are you prepared to proceed?' As well as showing the other
party you are willing to go into bat on their behalf, this sets you up to
close the deal.

5. The Written Contract. The power of the printed word in a contract or

agreement is often used to create the impression that there is little room
for negotiation - the 'rules are rules' tactic. You need to know where and
when to use it, and how to offset the effect of it if you are on the
receiving end of it. Most suppliers and retailers have a written form of
supply agreement, and it is not uncommon to see both hit the table
together as each party leans on the 'take it as read' implication of a
formal contract to add substance to their position. Having your own pre-
printed form of agreement at the ready is the ideal response to this
tactic. Elaborately printed pricelists are often used the same way, setting
benchmarks from which 'special deals' really do appear to be special.

6. The Silent Treatment. Experienced negotiators use the

conversational pause to great effect, working on the listening principle -
'all I can learn while I'm talking is what I already know'. Your professional
questioning skills, and more importantly, your listening discipline, are the
only answer here. There is an old saying about the effect of prolonged
pauses - 'he who talks next loses'. In negotiating, we often hear a
variation of it - 'he who first talks the numbers loses'. While I'm not
comfortable with the terminology of 'winner and loser', I have to concede
that there is definitely some merit in both of these underlying messages.
For example, you must never fall into the trap of negotiating against
yourself. Once you make an offer, wait for a response before carrying
on. By waiting, you avoid the possibility of unwittingly overriding your
own offer by making further concessions. If you don't wait, you could fall
victim to the other party's clever use of the pause, as they hold off their
response in the hope of provoking a better offer. 'Silence is Golden' is
not only the title of one of Simon and Garfunkel's greatest hits; it is also a
'golden oldie' among my favourite negotiating tips.

7. The Good Guy/Bad Guy Pantomime. This is often used to position

the regular, or initial, negotiator as the 'good guy' with a colleague or
superior chiming in to wear the black hat. It preserves the relationship
issues, while still allowing a tough stance to be injected on the issues at
hand. You need to know how and when to both employ and defend this
strategy. Sadly, it is so often misused that it is regarded as little more
than a game, but when used appropriately, it is a fair and reasonable
tactic. If you decide to use this tag team tactic yourself, be sure that all
involved are well briefed. Each must understand the position that he or
she is expected to take as the dialogue progresses. Failure to gel the
team effort could accidentally deal the other party a winning hand, by
presenting them with an invitation to divide and conquer.

8. The Ultimatum. Often seen as a bullying tactic, issuing ultimatums

can be successful from an extreme position of strength, but more often
than not will backfire, leaving the issuer with no chance of recovering
ground. The best way to defuse an unwanted ultimatum is to suggest
exactly that - to politely respond with a suggestion that this will simply
close down the discussion, and strip both parties of any room to
manoeuvre. If you sense that there could actually be some room to
move, a good defence is the standard trade-off technique, with a
response along the lines of, 'If we do that for you, what can you do for
us?' This technique does three things. First, you may get a concession
back from them. Second, it will lower their expectations. Third, it will
discourage them from coming back at you for more. Apart from that, if
they are not serious, this will call their bluff. Fortunately, most negotiators
are well aware that ultimatums generally destroy relationships, so we
find that they are usually restricted to casual bartering situations, where
ongoing business is not an issue.

9. The Setting. There is more than just the home game advantage to
selecting and setting up the environment. From the comfort of the
surrounds to the available resources, whether you are negotiating home
or away, or on neutral ground, needs to be factored in to your
preparation. Retail buyers religiously use their home ground advantage
wherever possible, particularly in respect of time management.
Experienced supplier salespeople, aware of the benefits of drawing
buyers out of this comfort zone, will often negate this by inviting them to
special showroom displays and trade night presentations where they can
create a more captive atmosphere. We all know that in sporting fixtures,
teams tend to score more points and chalk up more wins in home
games. The game of buying and selling is no different.

10. The Order of Presentation. Even if you win the toss, you may still
face the dilemma of whether to bat or field. As noted earlier, your
preferred strategy should be to allow the other party to state their case
first. While in most cases the reality is that the seller will expect to have
to lead, and the buyer should feel comfortable with encouraging them to,
either may be goaded into 'spilling the beans' earlier than planned. Either
way, 'keeping an extra card up the sleeve' will give you that ultimate
bargaining chip. 'Know when to hold em; know when to fold em' should
mean more to us than just the words of a Kenny Rogers song.

11. The Ignorance Plea. Feigning ignorance is a cunning fishing tactic

often used by seasoned negotiators. Via the use of cleverly-phrased
open questions, it is the most effective and comfortable way to extract
vital background information from the other party. Often, the other party
will unwittingly reveal the very core of their strategy, given the temptation
of airing their knowledge. This mock naivety is often used to set the
scene for the low-balling tactic of planting a seed of low expectation then
gradually building it, or at the other end of the scale, the high-balling
tactic of using an outlandish false promise to get attention, then whittling
it down - not unlike the concept of a 'Dutch Auction'. Either way, it is a
sign that the other party either hasn't done enough homework, or is
deliberately trawling for opportunities. Body language will usually reveal
which is the case.

12. The Minor Point Argument. The major outcome can often be
derailed by pursuit of a relatively unimportant aspect. This is known as
the 'red herring' tactic. Whether you concede the point and get on with it,
or use your objection-handling skills to put it into perspective, it is
important to steer the dialogue back to the mainstream as soon as
possible. Your directive questioning skills will come into play here.

So there it is... a summary of the main discussion outcomes from my live

KNACK of Negotiating sessions - from the higher level planning
strategies where you try to get it all right beforehand, to the lower level
action tactics when it doesn't necessarily pan out that way and you have
to think on your feet - a couple of handy checklists. I hope they prove
helpful next time you sit down at the negotiating table.

In a distinguished career spanning half a century, Keith Rowe has

managed the full journey from shop floor to boardroom. Along the way,
he has headed the Australian sales and marketing operations for three
of the world's largest Consumer Electronics manufacturers - Toshiba,
Sanyo and Sharp. Keith is not just a successful businessman. He is an
accomplished speaker and trainer, and is the author of two books on the
subject of interpersonal skills. His latest - the KNACK of Negotiating - is
available in all the popular eBook formats, including from Apple iTunes
and Amazon's Kindle Store.

http://www.cann.com.au/rms