Friday,

18 December 2009
N 468

Guaran
News
Paraguays First and
Only English Magazine

Its nice to have friends!

 CONTENTS
From the Publisher 2 Friday, Guaran Paraguays First and
18 December 2009
CAROL SERVICE 3 N 468 News Only English Magazine

From the Publisher

People in the News 4 Weird fellow citizens
Coming Events 4 It may be the holiday season, time for good cheer and thoughts on
how to spend ones aguinaldo (end of year bonus) or, if lady luck
Church Notices 4 happened to have come a knocking with a winning lottery number
then a Caribbean cruise might be what the doctor ordered.
The Humour Corner Holiday season of course in Paraguay, with the thermometer hit-
By Eduardo Teddy Abello 4 ting the 40C, is another matter. As to an aguinaldo, fat chance,
Im self employed (and badly paid if you ask me). A winning lottery
A most fascinating insight on Montenegro ticketwishful thinking, I found out a long time ago that in order to
by a former resident in Paraguay 5 win (some do) youve got to buy a ticket, which I never do.
That leaves me with an open column and the first of my latest
Guaran News Cover 7 gripefellow citizens who, when you happen to call them on a low-
line, so you know they aint driving and thus endangering others,
GUARANI News answer by saying Ill call you back in 5 minutes. Now those five
Founded in Asuncin 21 October 1982 minutes, in almost every case, turn out to be a fiction of his mind, he
Depsito Legal Ley N 9.289 just never calls back. And even when you somehow manage to edge
in Your house is on fire, there is still Ill call you back in 5 min-
Publisher/Editor: Norman M. Langer utes.
Ive finally come up with just the right action, especially when a
Our Cellular for International calls: +(595-991) 724-217
secretary relays the Hell call you in 5 minutes message. I now
For local calls in Paraguay 0991-724-217 leave an extra message that runs along these lines: Please inform
E-Mail: stranger@highway.com.py your boss that he cant even take a donkey to Bolivia. There are
ALTERNATIVE: guaraninews@click.com.py others of course but I have always tried to keep blasphemous thoughts
All rights reserved. No part of GUARANI NEWS may be reproduced without permission from the Publisher. Opinions
from appearing in my column, the jokes are contributions.
expressed by named authors do not necessarily coincide with those of the Editor. Produce a mirror under any tree and what do you get; a bunch of
The Editor will review any submission; however no responsibility is assumed for materials submitted. If you wish to be
removed from our listing, send E-mail to stranger@highway.com.py with the title REMOVE and accept our apologies natives falling out ever so eager to copy whatever takes their fancy.
2 GUARANI News - Friday, 18 December 2009
So now weve got these weirdoes with Ill call you back in 5 min- But I still wish one and all a most enjoyable weekend
utes that just never happen. Dont call me; Ill call you in five minutes!!!
As to the second gripealso a mind-boggler as one tries to under-
stand how well-to-do businessmen send out invitations to attend an CAROL SERVICE
organized event with less than 24 hours notice and then get all puffed St Andrews Chapel, (Asuncin) Friday, 18th December 2009, 8pm.
up when you politely inform them that you have a previous commit- 9 Lessons and Carol Service
ment. Topping all of these strange mannerisms are those affluent We would like to take this opportunity to wish you a Very Merry
enough bods, with a string of secretaries, who confirm they will at- Christmas and to invite you and your family and friends to take
tend an event and then not only fail to turn up but do not have the part in Fridays Carol Service.
decency to cancel. Rev. Peter Bartlett

P.O.B. 13061 - Py-1749 - Asuncin - Py

Hotel Westfalenhaus Tel. (00595 -21) 292-374 - Fax (00595 - 21) 291-241
Sgto. 1 M. Bentez 1577 - Asuncin E-Mail: Hotel@Westfalenhaus.com
Web: www.westfalenhaus.com www.paraguay-travel.de
3 GUARANI News - Friday, 18 December 2009 httpt://www.paraguay-restaurant.de
 PEOPLE in the NEWS COMING EVENTS CHURCH NOTICES
BIRTHDAYS DECEMBER
18 MARTIN, Antonio ST. ANDREWS ANGLICAN CHURCH - Avda. Espaa 1357 (near
27 SISUL, Dr. Juan Carlos corner of General Santos).
27 FITZGIBBON, Maria For further information, contact the Diocesan Office Tel. 200-933.
LUNCHEONS
The Strangers Club Asuncin is pleased to announce that their last CATHOLIC MASS in ENGLISH Held at the Missionary Ob-
luncheon (N 376) for this year will be held on Tuesday, 29th Decem- lates of Mary Immaculate (Misioneros Oblatos de Maria Inmaculada).
ber at the Acuarela Restaurant (Mcal. Lpez Ave. next to the Esso The address is Quesada between Molas and MacArthur. Mass starts
gas station on corner with Repblica Argentina.) at 11:00 am on Sundays.
The meal will consist of a well assorted Buffet and attendees will be To check English Mass timetable call: 371-056 or 390-907.
able to eat to their hearts content: beef, chicken, pork and a large The priest is Father Ranulfo Veron, C.S.S.R
variety of salads and other tasty goodies that include delicious des-
serts. Admission will not include individual drinks. The Humour Corner
Master of Ceremonies and Club Founder Norman M. Langer will be By Eduardo Teddy Abello
providing not only the champagne with which to celebrate the forth-
coming New Year but has donated 3 prints by the famous Argentine A bit of twisted humour about what can happen when we delve into
artist F. Molina Campos for a free raffle. our family roots:
Please confirm a.s.a.p. (by E-mail preferably) The Taylors were proud of their family history. Their ancestors had
stranger@highway.com.py or, if need be, by telephone: 0991-724.217. travelled to America with the Pilgrim Fathers on the Mayflower. They
had included Congressmen, successful entrepreneurs, famous sports
people and television stars. They decided to research and write a family
history, something for their children and grandchildren. They found
Intend visiting Asuncin?
a specialist genealogist and writer to help them. Only one problem
Youll find all the comforts by staying at the arose - how to handle Great Uncle Jefferson Taylor who was ex-
CHACO HOTEL ecuted in the electric chair. The writer said she could handle the story
tactfully. When the book appeared the section about Jefferson read:
Caballero corner Mcal. Estigarribia
Great Uncle Jefferson Taylor occupied a chair of applied electronics
Tel. (595-021) 443.527 - 492.066
at an important government institution, he was attached to his posi-
E-Mail: info@hotelchaco.com.py
tion by the strongest of ties, and his death came as a great shock.
(Our thanks to B. Haggerty for this one)
4 GUARANI News - Friday, 18 December 2009
Now first of a series a series on someone who has been lately in the on Tuesday, 29 December at the
limelight Acuarela Restaurant in which a
Buffet meal would be served. Mr
THE TIGER (Part I) Langer also added that the Club
What do Tiger Woods and baby seals have in common? would be raffling at no cost to all
Theyre both in danger of being clubbed by Norwegians! attendees 3 prints of the famous
Argentine painter F. Molina
Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. Campos.
He couldnt decide between the iron and the wood. Following the presentations and
announcement Mr Langer
Tiger just hates it when he drives, and then his balls hit a tree. introduced the Guest Speaker, Mrs
Marguerite du Guerny. Mrs du
Based on Tigers interests, his new product endorsements will be for Guerny, who had been a resident
Hostess. in Paraguay for 30 years prior to
My thanks for these go to Jorge Boria.

A most fascinating insight on Montenegro Dr. Nuria Lezcano de Beekhof

by a former resident in Paraguay Dentist
The Strangers Club Asuncion held their luncheon N 375 on Tuesday, Dental Prosthesis - Implants - Gum infections
15th December 2009 at The Conqueror Group Bldg, with 27 persons
attending the event that was chaired by the Honorary President HE Oral rehabilitation
Dido Florentin Bogado and in which Mr Norman M. Langer acted
as Master of Ceremonies. OHiggins corner Del Maestro
Monsignor Amoury Medina Blanco gave Grace and then Mr Langer
introduced first timers that included: Mabel Avalos, Andreas Edif. Galenos - 3rd Floor (Villa Morra)
Lambert, Erika Lambert and Herbert Lambert. Call for appointment: 611.798 or 614.985
With the serving of dessert Mr Langer presented Strangers Club
plaques for having attended 25 luncheons to Mr William Curry and Direct: 614.920
one for having attended 50 luncheons to Mr Rubn Falcn. Mr Langer E-Mail: wijbeek@tigo.com.py
also presented an Honorary Membership plaque to Mrs Divina Ayala.
He then announced that the last luncheon of the year would be held
5 GUARANI News - Friday, 18 December 2009
 Your Advertisement here
taking up residence in Montenegro, then presented a most interesting
travelogue of the country in which she now resides which included a for 1 YEAR (52 issues) : 200 Euros
series of beautiful pictures that helped to demonstrate her talk of this
small nation.
Call: Norman M. Langer
Mrs du Guerny received a loud and strenuous round of applause when 0991-724-217
she concluded that was repeated when Mr Langer presented her with
a Club CD that includes the history of the club a Club of which she Patterson, Chairman Dervish Publications; Hans-Atle Bothun;
had been a long time member. Alexander Neuendorff, Past President; Uwe Becker; Herbert and
Attendees, not mentioned above, included: HE Emanuel Jenni, Ingrid Weise, residents in Aregu; Marc and Leitte Scheueren,
Ambassador of Switzerland; Ivan Ivanissevich, Minister Argentine residents in San Bernardino; Renaud Olgiati; Berndt and Ammi
Embassy; John Helmfelt, Telecommunications Consultant; Janine Jackloo; Pedro Siemens and Henry Bergern.

HE Dido Florentin Bogado, former Minister of Foreign

Affairs and Honorary Chairman Strangers Club Asuncin
seen accompanied by Monsignor Amoury Medina Blanco.
6 GUARANI News - Friday, 18 December 2009
GUARANI NEWS PICTORIAL
Taiwan Ambassador hosts dinner at his residence for
Paraguayan - Chinese Chamber of Commerce and Industry Members

HE
LIEN-SHENG HUANG,
Ambassador of the Republic of
China (Taiwan) (left),
Mrs CRISTINA HUANG;
Mrs OLGA TURCOTT
de PAMPLIEGA
and the Chairman
of the Chamber
Mr CARLOS PAMPLIEGA.

7 GUARANI News - Friday, 18 December 2009