CHILDREN IN

CHANGE
A group curriculum for kids ages 8-14 who
are experiencing family change

A RESOURCE FOR EDUCATORS, SOCIAL WORKERS,

CLERGY AND YOUTH LEADERS

Jennifer Simmonds
Family Life Education
 D E D I C AT I O N

This book is dedicated to Mae Hill and Ann Carlson,

pioneers of this work at Family & Children's Service.
They dared to be taught by children.
They saw the children’s ability to change and heal
in the midst of difficult life situations.

Special thanks to Eleanor Monson, age 8, for her art work.

 CHILDREN IN CHANGE
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Family & Children's Service…………………………...……………………………………5
About Family Life Education …………………………………………………………….. 5
History of Curriculum …………………………………………………………………….. 6
Program Objectives ………………………………………………………………………...6
Design and Framework of Lesson Plans ………………………………………………....... 7
Key Points to Know About Family Change ……………………………………………….. 7
Key Goals of Children in Change Curriculum ….…………………………………………… 7
Facilitating Effective Groups…………………………………………………………….... 8
IMPORTANT INFORMATION ………………………………………………………..10
Parent/Guardian Permission Slip …………………………………….…………………...11

Lessons
1 WELCOME WEEK………………………………………………………… 12

Pick-a-question 15

2 FAMILY FORMS …..……………………………..………………………… 16

3 PEOPLE I LIVE WITH …….……………………………………………… 19

Sorting Questions 22

True/False cards 23

4 A LOOK BACK IN TIME …………………………………….………….. 24

Handout: Autograph Game 28

Timeline Key 29

5 INTRODUCTION TO FEELINGS ………………………………………. 30

How do you think they feel? 33

Suggestions of how they might feel 34

6 MY CHANGE, MY FEELINGS ….……………………………………….. 35

Feelings Cube 38

Feelings Cards 39

3
 7 HOW OUR FAMILIES EXPRESS THEIR ANGER ………………………..42

Handout: Me and my anger 46

8 THE WORRY BURDEN ……………………………………………………47

9 HOPES AND DREAMS .….……………………………………………….. 50

Handout: Dreams of my own 53

10 WORKING THROUGH GRIEF…………………………………………… 54

Handout: The grief loop 58

Handout: The adapted grief loop (for younger participants) 59

Handout: Signs of possible depression 60

“Real Life” scenarios 62

11 REACHING OUT …….……………………………………………………. 64

If you could 67

Handout: Helping Hand 68

Handout: Personal Protection Plan 69

Handout: Trust Affirmation 70

12 FINAL CELEBRATION……………………………….…………………… 71

Closing Cards 74

Children in Change Final Evaluation 75

Certificate of participation 76

About the Author………………………………………………………………………… 77

4
 Bringing people together to make change happen
Family & Children’s Service has been bringing people together to make change happen
for more than 125 years. It is one of the oldest nonprofit human service organizations in
Minneapolis, Minnesota. Our mission is building strong families, vital communities, and capable
children. We do this in three ways:
• helping people solve problems (e.g., mental health concerns, school failure, prostitution);
• helping people prevent problems (by teaching life skills like parenting and conflict
resolution); and
• helping people change community conditions to support families raising children
(through public policy and community advocacy).

Family & Children’s Service has been involved in the work of family life education for
decades. We offer a range of educational programs designed to help children, youth, and
adults build upon their existing assets and to develop new skills and resources to reach
their highest potential and to become positive contributors to their communities. These
programs are offered in schools, community centers, and other public venues.

Due to the recognized success of these programs and the resulting high demand, Family &
Children’s Service is now pleased to make our curricula available to other agencies,
community organizations, schools, and businesses that will use the material to help build
stronger individuals, families, and communities. For more information, please contact the
Family Life Education Department at Family & Children’s Service by calling 612-729-0340
or visit our website at www.everyfamilymatters.org.

ABOUT FAMILY LIFE EDUCATION

Since 1969, Family & Children’s Service, through our Family Life Education program, has
helped people develop life skills by providing family life education to clients of diverse ages
and cultures. We provide educational and experiential programs for youth in classrooms,
small group work with youth and adults in diverse settings, leadership and mentorship
opportunities, and individual and group work with families in community settings.

Children in Change©
Copyright 2006, Family & Children’s Service, All Rights Reserved. Duplication of this
material, with the exception of worksheets, is strictly prohibited. Additional copies of this
publication are available by contacting the Family Life Education Department at Family &
Children’s Service.

Printing of this curriculum was made possible by a generous grant from the
American Legion Child Welfare Foundation.

5
 CHILDREN IN CHANGE
BACKGROUND INFORMATION

HISTORY OF THE CURRICULUM

The Children in Change (CIC) curriculum has long roots in the Minneapolis, Minnesota
community. In 1968 the Minneapolis Public Schools and Hennepin County Minnesota
Department of Family Services developed a Children in Change program designed for use in a
classroom setting. In 1979, Minneapolis Family & Children's Service was asked to assume
responsibility for the program. An expanded outline was developed in 1985 by Ann Carlson
and Mae Hill. The program originally focused on supporting children who are coping with
parents’ separation, divorce and death. Over time, and as a result of changes in our society,
it became evident that there were other family changes occurring for children in addition to
divorce and death. These changes include (but are not limited to) having a parent in jail, a
family member’s military service, a parent with a drug or alcohol problem, remarriage,
immigration, frequent moves, homelessness, natural disasters, mental illness, foster home
placement, and illness.

PROGRAM OBJECTIVES
The Children in Change curriculum uses an educational and support group model with children
who have experienced significant changes in their families. Although the changes may be
different for each group member, the intent of the CIC curriculum is that all participants in
the group will be able to share safely their experiences with their families. The following are
a list of program objectives for the group:
Sharing openly in a safe environment about family changes
Encouraging and recognizing the expression of feelings
Learning to offer support to one another
Establishing that children are not to blame for adult situations
Helping children identify the trustworthy adults in their lives
Aiding children in coping with change in healthy ways
Acknowledging and teaching about feelings of grief and loss
There are always a wide variety of family changes represented in a multi-change group.
Despite the different changes experienced by children, there will be strong commonalities as
well. For example, a child whose parents are divorcing and a child who is living in a new
foster home often experience similar feelings (anger, loss of control, fear of the unknown,
etc.) and have similar questions about their future.
The Children in Change curriculum is useful because parents vary in their ability to listen and
offer support to their children. Some parents can offer only minimal support because of the
pain and energy they are using to deal with their own loss. Other parents may be able to
adequately support their children through their family’s changes, but children may still feel
isolated among their peers, as though they are “the only ones” experiencing these kinds of
changes.

6
DESIGN AND FRAMEWORK OF LESSON PLANS
The twelve-week Children in Change curriculum is specifically designed for small groups (six to
eight participants) of elementary and middle school-aged children. The group should
convene weekly in a confidential space with the same group members and adult facilitators
attending each session. The curriculum is designed to be used in consecutive order because,
as the lessons progress, group members will build upon the trust built together through
previous sessions. However, some sessions can be eliminated, combined, or moved around
to customize the curriculum for the specific needs and goals of the group.
Each session includes objectives for that particular lesson, a list of supplies needed for the
various activities, a description of tasks to be done prior to the start of the meeting, daily
skills used, background notes to the leader, a warm-up activity at the start of each meeting,
an explanation of the various learning activities, and a closing activity.

KEY POINTS TO KNOW ABOUT FAMILY CHANGE:

• The decisions resulting in family changes are not made by children. Therefore,
children and youth often feel powerless in the face of such overwhelming
changes in their lives.
• Oftentimes, the adult family members neglect to include how the family changes
are directly affecting their children. In other words, children may not have an
opportunity or ability to express their feelings about the family change at home.
• There are fewer community resources to help children deal with family changes
than there are resources to assist adults in dealing with the same changes.
• Children usually have fewer skills for dealing with changes than do adults.

KEY GOALS OF CHILDREN IN CHANGE CURRICULUM:

• Establish trust within the group.
• Define what a family is, and create opportunities for participants to share about
their families.
• Explore feelings and normalize a range of feelings that relate to family changes
and transitions.
• Develop positive and realistic problem-solving skills.
• Explore anger and how individual families express their anger.
• Discover the dreams that participants have for their families, and the personal
goals that group members have for themselves.
• Learn about the grief and loss process.
• Learn about positive decision making and safe choices.

7
FACILITATING EFFECTIVE GROUPS
A unique aspect of the Children in Change curriculum is its specific design for small groups of
willing participants, and its blend of education and support. The group usually includes
children of similar ages, because that way, group members are more willing to share, feel less
isolated, learn more from one another, and are better able to empower each other.
As is true with most curricula, lesson plans can be modified or changed in order to best meet
the needs of a particular group. Following is a list of overall helpful hints that can greatly
increase the success of a group:

GROUP COMPOSITON IS CRUCIAL

• Be thoughtful about whom you invite to be a part of the group.

Participants should be no more than one or two years apart in age or grade.

• Although it is normal for children and youth to feel apprehensive about the
group in the beginning, they need to be willing to do some sharing about
their families. “Interview” the kids individually prior to the start of the
group and ask whether they’d be interested in participating, and are willing
to talk about their experiences.

• If you have an older group (middle school aged or higher), do not mix kids
who have lost their parents/siblings to death with those experiencing other
family changes. Older kids are developmentally able to decipher the
differences between the permanent loss of a loved one associated with
death, in contrast with the ambiguous loss experienced through other
family changes (such as divorce).

KEEP THE GROUP SMALL. The ideal group size for CIC is between six and
eight participants, with one or two adult facilitators.

KEEP THE SAME PARTICIPANTS. In order to build trust and group

cohesion, it’s important to maintain the same participants throughout all the
sessions.

CONSISTENCY. Each session is designed to build upon the previous lesson’s

skills. Therefore, it is important to meet consistently (it’s recommended to meet once
a week) in the same confidential space with the same group members and adult
facilitator(s).

BE FLEXIBLE. Even though you have a thought-out plan for every session, allow
the kids the opportunity to take the group where it needs to go. For example, if the
group members are really involved in a discussion related to the topic at hand, let
them keep going and adjust the curriculum accordingly.

8
 CONFIDENTIALITY. The most important guideline of a Children in Change
group is that what is said among the group members must remain among the group
members. Emphasize this rule before and after every group. If the children do not
feel trust in a group such as this, it will not be a worthwhile or positive experience. It
is also important to let the children know that you, as an adult, will not be telling
their parents what they share in group.

FACILITATOR’S PARTICIPATION. As a healthy and positive adult facilitator,

it is essential to have strong boundaries with the group members, but it is also
appropriate to participate as well. Role model the expression of feelings and be
willing to share some things about your own family, but do not use the group for
your own support.

IMPORTANT NOTE:

The symbol located in various lesson plans indicates that a particular activity would be
best suited for group members in the fifth grade or older, and should be substituted for
the other described activity intended for younger participants.

9
 -IMPORTANT INFORMATION-
*PLEASE READ!*
Every group is different based on the participants, the
leader’s facilitation style, and general group dynamics.
Therefore, you will need to use your own discretion as to
whether a group should do a specific activity. If you do not
think a group is ready to do a certain activity (or that it might
be inappropriate at the time), wait to do it at a later date or
skip it altogether.

SOMETIMES THINGS GET INTENSE OR CHALLENGING DURING THE GROUP

PROCESS. SOME HELPFUL TIPS:
• Always take time to close the group at the end of each session. Because the Learning
Activities involve increasingly difficult and/or emotional topics as the sessions
progress, it is important that group members leave each session feeling like there is
proper closure.
• If a participant is having difficulty working through feelings (i.e. crying, withdrawn,
angry, etc.) at any time throughout the group sessions, give them time following the
session to talk or just sit alone. In other words, avoid immediately dismissing anyone
who is feeling extremely vulnerable or emotional.
• Consider working with a co-facilitator. If two leaders are paying attention to group
dynamics, that enhances the potential for a successful group experience. Co-
facilitation also creates the opportunity for adults to reflect upon and discuss the
experience once the group session has ended.

NOTES ABOUT PARENTAL INVOLVEMENT:

• We suggest that you obtain parent/guardian permission for all children participating
in a Children in Change group. (There is an example of a general Children in Change
permission slip on the following page.)
• Every family is different. Parents may be eager to have their child involved in such a
group and want to be an added support for them. Other parents may be reluctant for
their child to participate in the group for a variety of reasons. It is important to be
aware of each family’s circumstances when setting up the group.
• It is important that the facilitator maintain individual and group confidentiality. It is
appropriate to inform a parent about how a child is progressing in the group and/or
what topics are being covered, but it is not appropriate to disclose what any specific
child talks about in the group.

10
 PARENT/GUARDIAN PERMISSION SLIP

Dear Parent or Guardian:

We will be offering a Children in Change Group and would like to include your child.
This program is an educational and support group designed to help young people better
understand their feelings related to recent, significant changes in their lives. These changes
can include, but are not limited to: divorce, separation, the death of a relative, a move to a
new home or school, homelessness, a family member being in jail, a new baby, or substance
abuse.

The group provides an outlet for discussion and interpretation of the emotions that children
experience with change, and provides instruction in coping strategies. The goal of the group
is to help children learn how to deal with those feelings in a healthy, manageable way.

The curriculum we will use to facilitate the group is Family & Children’s Service’s Children in
Change curriculum, and will be facilitated by _______________. The group will meet once a
week for ____ consecutive weeks.

In order for your child to participate in the Children in Change Group, we need your
written permission. Please sign and return the attached permission slip as soon as possible.
If you have any questions, you can reach the facilitator at _________________.

Thank you.

Sincerely,

I give permission to have my child participate in the Children in Change Group.

Child's Name: ___________________________________________________________

Parent / Guardian Signature: ________________________________________________

Date: ____________________

11
 WELCOME WEEK
SESSION ONE

LESSON OBJECTIVE
Participants will:
⇒ Begin to establish trust in the group.
⇒ Create group rules and guidelines.
⇒ Identify different types of family changes.

SUPPLIES NEEDED
Blank 8 ½” x 11” paper for each group member, folded in thirds
Markers, pencils/pens
Newsprint for group rules
Newsprint for “Change Pictionary”
“Pick-A-Question” (page 13)- if the participants are grade 5 and
above
A folder for each participant (optional)

BEFORE THE MEETING

Read through the lesson and collect necessary supplies. Make sure that
the activities you have chosen are age appropriate for your group. Secure
a quiet, confidential space for the group to meet.
If you have an older group (grade 5 and above), use Closing Activity B
instead of A. If you are doing the “Pick-A-Question” activity, cut the
questions into slips prior to the start of the session.

NOTES TO THE LEADER

This is the first group session in a sequence of 12 meetings. The primary
purpose of this lesson is to build group cohesion and lay the groundwork
for future meetings.

For this type of family change group, it is important for trust to be

established prior to the participants sharing personal information about
their families. Although some group members may volunteer this
personal information right away, keep the conversation general and be
careful not to ask group members about what family changes they have
personally experienced.

12
MEETING WARM-UP
A. NAME-TENT INTRODUCTIONS
10 min. Distribute to each person a blank, 8 ½” X 11” piece of paper, folded
length-wise in thirds, to form a “name-tent.” Using the markers, ask
group members to write and decorate their first names on the front of
their tents. Also on their name-tents, they should draw two pictures of
something about themselves to share with the group.
Go around the circle and have each person talk about the drawings on
their name-tent. Stand the name-tents up on the table so that everyone
can see them. Collect the name-tents after the session for use in the
following sessions.

LEARNING ACTIVITIES
A. CHANGE PICTIONARY
15 min. Using a piece of newsprint or a chalkboard, draw pictures of different
types of family changes and have the group members guess what the
change may be. If you have a co-facilitator, have them create a list of
family changes as the participants guess. Hold on to this list, because it
will be used in later sessions.
The following is a list of family changes and examples of how to draw the
family change:
- Divorce/Separation (draw 2 stick figures with a broken heart in the
middle)
- Illness/Disease (draw a stick figure lying on a bed wearing a sad face)
- Death (draw a grave and/or tombstone)
- Family member in jail (draw a stick figure standing behind bars)
- Excessive alcohol/drug abuse (draw a bottle and a glass next to it)
- New baby (draw a stick figure holding a baby in a blanket)
- Moving (draw 2 houses, one with a sold sign on it)
- Remarriage or parent has new boy/girlfriend (draw 2 stick figures
with a heart between them. Add kids for step-families)
- Homelessness (draw a picture of a house with an X through it)
OTHER CHANGES TO INCLUDE ON LIST VERBALLY (BUT
ARE MORE DIFFICULT TO DRAW):
- Living with other relatives - Adoption
- Mental illness - Foster home
- Lesbian/gay parent (“coming out”) - Family violence
Be sure to add other family changes which you know participants in the
group have or are experiencing.
OPTION: Whisper the change to a member of the group and have them
draw it on the board for others to guess.

13
 B. GROUP RULES
Have the group brainstorm rules for how they want to treat one another
in group. Write the rules on a sheet of newsprint and then have all group
members sign the paper as their commitment to these rules. Be sure that
10 min. the rules are posted each week during meetings.
Be sure the following guidelines are included:
• No put-downs or name calling
• Appropriate laughter – Explain the difference between
laughing with someone versus laughing at someone. Also, we
sometimes laugh as a reaction when we’re uncomfortable or
surprised. Explain this to the participants.

• What is said here, stays here (Confidentiality) – Give

examples. Be sure to add that the adults must break this
confidentiality if they feel that a child is being hurt physically
or sexually, or if there is a concern that a child is going to
hurt themself.

CLOSING ACTIVITY

A. CHANGE GAME- best for younger participants

5 min. One at a time and taking turns, have a participant stand up in front of the
group and slowly turn around to be inspected by the other group
members. Then that person will leave the room and alter one thing about
their appearance. For example, they could untie a shoelace, roll up a pant
leg or take off a piece of jewelry. Then they return to the room and the
other group members try to guess what they changed. After successfully
guessing, a new group member takes a turn.
-OR-
B. PICK A QUESTION – best for older participants
Using the “Pick-A-Question” handout, have group members take turns
picking a slip with a question on it and answer it aloud to the group.

HELPFUL HINT

Keep a folder for each participant. Everything that group members

complete in the group throughout the sessions should be compiled in
their individual folders and handed back to them during the last meeting.
The leaders can write progress notes in the folders as well.

14
 PICK-A-QUESTION
(CLOSING ACTIVITY FOR OLDER GROUP PARTICIPANTS)

Cut the following questions into slips prior to the start of

the group meeting.

How have your friendships changed as you have grown

older?

If you could change one thing about your school, what

would it be?

What is a positive change you have experienced?

What is something you never want to change about

yourself?

Name a time when you have made the decision to change

something.

If you could change one thing about your relationship

with your parent(s), what would it be?

Have you ever had a “change of heart”? What happened?

Have you ever had a “change of address”? (In other

words, have you ever moved? How many times?)

Do you usually change your mind about things?

How much change are you carrying in your pocket right

now? ☺

Do you exchange notes in school with your friends? If so,

how often?

15
 FAMILY FORMS
SESSION TWO

LESSON OBJECTIVE
Participants will:
⇒ Continue to build trust and group cohesion.
⇒ Explore different forms of family.
⇒ Participants will define what family means to them.
⇒ Participants will draw pictures of their families

SUPPLIES NEEDED
The rules/guidelines established during the previous session
The list of family changes created during the first session
Drawing paper for each group member
Crayons, markers, or colored pencils
A book about families to read aloud (for younger participants)
-OR-
Note cards and pencils (for group members in grade 5 and older)

BEFORE THE MEETING

If you have a younger group, the closing activity in this session requires
reading aloud a book to the group members about different types of
families. (Most of the books are accessible at public libraries.) Prior to the
start of the meeting, the facilitator will need to acquire the book.

NOTES TO THE LEADER

This session will focus primarily on families, and how each group member
defines family for themself.
The participants will be given an opportunity to draw a picture of the
people they live with and other close family members. (During session
three the participants will have the opportunity to show their pictures to
other group members and talk/share about their families.)

16
MEETING WARM-UP
A. NAME-TENT GUESS
5 min. Before passing out the name-tents from the last session, challenge the group
members to remember everyone’s names, and what they drew on their name-
tents, during the previous session. Then hand out the name-tents.
If there are any new group members, be sure they are given an opportunity to
create a name-tent as well.

B. RULES REVIEW
5 min.
Ask group members to review the group rules that were developed during the
last session. Post the rules for everyone to see.

LEARNING ACTIVITIES
A. MYTHS ABOUT FAMILY
Ask the group, “What is a family?” Allow the participants to give their input
10 min. and definitions of what they think is a family. Challenge them to think of
family in broad terms, such as people who love each other. Do this by
asking them the following questions about family:
• Can a family be a single mom raising her two daughters? (Yes!)
• Can a family be an uncle and aunt raising their nephew? (Yes!)
• Do all family members have to live together in order to be a family?
(No! Family members may live in different places, even in different
parts of the country or world.)
• Do there need to be children in order to be a family? (No!)
• Can you have more than one family? (Yes! This is common in the case
of divorce, remarriage or living in a foster home.)
• Can a family member still be a family member after they have died?
(Yes!)
• Can a family be a single man and his dog? (Yes!)
• Can a family have two moms or two dads? (Yes! This is common in
the case of remarriage or having gay/lesbian parents.)

Say to the group,

“There are many different forms of family. Just within our group we
make up very different kinds of family. Today, we’re going to draw
pictures of our own families.”

17
 B. FAMILY PORTRAITS
15 min. Distribute a piece of large drawing paper and crayons/markers to each group
member. Ask them to draw a picture of the people they live with, as well as
close family members who do not live with them. It is important that they
include everyone they live with because that has a great effect on how they feel
about things at home.
If group members have more than one family, encourage them to include both
(they may want two pieces of paper for this). They can also draw close family
members who have died or who are in jail.
When the participants finish drawing their families, collect the pictures. (Most
of the next session will be spent showing each other their pictures and talking
about their family changes.)

CLOSING ACTIVITY
A. STORY TIME- best for younger participants
10 min. There are some excellent children’s books written about families and the many
different forms of families. Close the session by reading a book aloud. The
following are a list of suggestions which relate to various family issues:
The Family Book By Todd Parr (describes many different types of families)
All Kinds of Families by Norma Simon (general description of different types of
families)
Families are Different by Nina Pellegrini (addresses adoption and other forms of
family)
Love is a Family by Roma Downey (a single parent raising her daughter)
Totally Uncool by Janice Levy (adjusting to a new step-parent)
From Far Away by Robert Munsch (adjusting to living in a new country)
Dinosaurs Divorce by Laurene Krasny Brown and Marc Brown (divorce)
I don’t want to go to Justin’s House Anymore by Heather Klassen (physical abuse by
a parent)
-OR-
B. WORD LINK - best for older participants
Hand a blank note card and a pencil to each group member. Instruct them to
write 5-7 words that best describe their family. Encourage them to be creative
and honest. Ask for volunteers to read their words aloud (but only if they’re
comfortable).
Example: fragile, loving, confused, frustrating, angering, safe
Place their descriptions in their individual folders.

HELPFUL HINTS
An option is to begin the ritual of reading a book about families aloud to the
group members at the beginning, middle, or end of every session.

18
 PEOPLE I LIVE WITH
SESSION THREE

LESSON OBJECTIVE
Participants will:
⇒ Share their family drawings from the previous session with other group
members.
⇒ Identify the personal family changes they’ve experienced.
⇒ Will be introduced to a variety of feelings.

SUPPLIES NEEDED
The family portraits that participants drew during the previous session
The list of family changes created during the first session
One copy of “Sorting Questions” (page 22 )
A set of True/False cards for each participant (page 23)

BEFORE THE MEETING

Prior to the start of the meeting, be sure to have available the family
portraits from the second lesson and the list of family changes from the
first session.
Using the True/False cards (page 23), make copies and cut enough cards
for each person to have one set.

NOTES TO THE LEADER

This session will focus primarily on the participants sharing about their
families, and on identifying family changes that they have experienced or
are going to experience. As the participants share about their families, they
will identify the changes that they have experienced using the Family Change
List created during session one. However, the group members may not be
emotionally ready to share their family changes yet. If this is the case, it is
important not to pressure them to share their personal information until
they feel ready.

MEETING WARM-UP
A. HAND GAME
5 min. While sitting around a table, ask everyone to place their hands flat on the
table. Now instruct them to lift their left hand and place it over the right
hand of the person sitting to their immediate left. Their palms should lay
flat on the table.

19
 GAME:
One person begins by tapping on the table with either hand once. Then the
person to their right does the same. The tapping should go in order of how
the hands are situated around the circle. Also, if anyone double-taps on the
table, the direction reverses.
If anyone lifts their hand out of order, that person loses their hand (they
need to pull the hand out of the circle). Once they lose both hands they are
out of the game.
The final two players (or hands) remaining in the game are the winners.

LEARNING ACTIVITIES
A. SHOW AND TELL
Return the Family Portraits from last session to the group members who
25 min. created them.
Say to the participants,
“At the last group meeting, we drew pictures of our families. Now
we are going to share our pictures and tell the group about our
families. After each person is finished sharing, the other group
members can ask you questions about your family. But please
know that you can always say, ‘I don’t want to answer that,’ if
somebody asks you a question that’s too personal and makes you
feel uncomfortable.”
After the person has told the group about their family and questions have been
asked and answered, refer the participant to the list of family changes and ask
them to identify the family changes they have experienced.
NOTE: Prior to the start of this activity, the facilitator should review group
rules with participants, emphasizing the importance of active listening,
confidentiality, and appropriate laughter.

B. SORTING QUESTIONS
10 min. Distribute a True/False card to each group member. Pausing between each
one, slowly read the statements from the “Sorting Questions” handout (page
22). After reading each statement, instruct the group members to either
hold up their “True” card or their “False” card, depending upon whether
they agree with the statement or not. If the statement does not relate to
them at all, they should not hold up either card.

Some of the Sorting Questions statements are personal and could be

difficult for the participants to answer. Depending upon how trust is
progressing within the group, you may want to adapt the statements or
do this activity during a later session.

20
 Emphasize to the group that there are no right or wrong answers and
encourage them to think for themselves. There should also be no talking or
laughing during this activity. Explain that laughter can be interpreted as a
put-down during this activity because none of the statements read is funny.
HINT: The adult facilitators can participate in this activity, but it is
suggested that they show their true or false card several seconds after the
kids so the kids do not necessarily think the adults have the “correct”
answer.

CLOSING ACTIVITY
A. MOVE IT!
5 min. Stand in a circle. Have each person come up with a physical movement and
a noise and show it to the group (examples: turning around and saying
“Whaaaa!,” or doing a jumping jack and saying “Yippee!”). After the person
makes their movement and noise, the rest of the group copies that person.
After everyone has made their movement and noise for the group, see if
anyone can remember all of the group members’ movements and
corresponding noises without help.

21
 SORTING QUESTIONS

Slowly read the following statements aloud, one at a time. Pause between each
statement so participants are able to put up a “True” or a “False” card depending
upon whether the participant agrees with the statement or not. There is no right
or wrong answer and this should be a quiet activity. NO LAUGHING ALOUD!

1. My family is different from others.

2. Sometimes I think if I were a better kid my family could all live together.
3. Kids sometimes tease me about my family.
4. Parents can still love their children even if they don’t live with them.
5. It’s okay to talk about good and bad things that happen at home.
6. I have to take care of my brothers/sisters because my mom isn’t around a lot.
7. I worry about who’s going to take care of me.
8. I know at least two people I trust and can talk to about my problems.
9. Living with one parent or other relatives is hard.
10. I wish my father lived with me.
11. I wish my mother lived with me.
12. Someone important to me is very sick.
13. Someone important to me has died.
14. Kids can make adults change what they do.
15. I wish I could spend more time with my mother.
16. I wish I could spend more time with my father.
17. Someone close to me is in jail.
18. I can’t visit someone important to me.
19. I sometimes feel that it’s my fault that our family has problems.
20. Someone I love drinks too much alcohol or uses drugs.
21. I’m tired of going to new schools.
22. Losing my housing or living in a shelter is hard.
23. I have lost a lot of friends from moving so much.
24. I can think of good things about my family.
25. I can think of one really good thing about me.

22
Prior to the session, make enough copies for each participant to have a True and
a False card. Cut the copies into individual cards for group members to hold up
during the Sorting Questions activity.

23
 A LOOK BACK IN TIME
SESSION FOUR

LESSON OBJECTIVE
Participants will:
⇒ Continue to identify personal changes they have experienced.
⇒ Use a personal timeline to reflect on significant changes/experiences
in their lives.
⇒ Explore the ways that change can be positive.

SUPPLIES NEEDED
Plastic cup
Copies of “Autograph Game” (page 28)
Pencils
A large sheet of drawing paper (11” x 17”) for each person.
Markers, colored pencils and/or crayons
Copy of “Timeline Key” (page 29)

BEFORE THE MEETING

After reading through the lesson, make copies of the “Autograph Game”
handout (page 28) for each group member.
Because the facilitator will be telling the participants what they should
draw during the “Family Timeline” activity, they will not likely have the
opportunity to do their own timeline. Therefore, the facilitator may wish
to do one prior to the start of the meeting to show as an example.

NOTES TO THE LEADER

The focus of this session is to better understand the life journey that
group members have experienced by creating a timeline of their lives that
identifies significant life changes. If the group members are younger
than ten years old, they will be asked to draw a picture of a significant
family event instead.

The lead facilitator of the timeline activity will be telling the participants
what they should draw throughout the activity, as they go along so they
will not likely have the opportunity to do their own timeline. Therefore,
the facilitator may wish to do their own timeline prior to start of the
meeting.

24
MEETING WARM-UP
A. HOW FULL IS YOUR CUP TODAY?
10 min. Place an empty plastic cup in the middle of the table. Explain to the
group that each member is going to check-in today by identifying a place
on the cup that shows how their day or week is going. The farther down
on the cup they point, the worse their day; similarly, the higher on the cup
they point, the better their day. After the person indicates where on the
cup they are feeling, ask the person to explain why.

LEARNING ACTIVITES

A. AUTOGRAPH GAME
15 min. Distribute a copy of the “Autograph Game” and a pencil to each group
member. Together, read through all of the boxes and ask if there are
questions about what any of the boxes mean. Explain the game.
Everyone mingles, asking other group members one-on-one whether they
have experienced what is written in a particular box. When the
participants find someone who has had the same experience, they can sign
their name in that particular box. No one can sign your sheet more than
once. You may also sign your own paper once. The object is to get as
many signatures on your paper as there are members of the group
(including yourself!).
NOTE: Explain to group members that it is important that they ask each
other the questions rather than just handing them your paper, because the
point is to better understand each other’s family changes.
After everyone has signatures from all of the group members, have them
return to their seat. Read through statements in the boxes again, and after
each one, ask members to raise their hands if they have experienced that
particular change (not who has signed their paper).
Say to the group,
“As you can see from this game, there are things we have in
common and there are things that we have experienced that
make us unique. The point of this game is for you to see that
you’re not alone in your family changes or in your feelings.”

B. FAMILY TIMELINE
15 min. Pass out a large piece of drawing paper (11” x 17”) and a pencil to each
participant. Tell them that they will be drawing a timeline about their
lives. Begin by instructing them to turn their paper horizontally. Then
ask them to draw a horizontal line across the paper. Next, ask them to
make little slashes through the long line for each year that they have lived.
An example of an eleven-year-old’s timeline follows:

25
 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Using the Timeline Key on page 29, read off the symbols and significant
events, one by one, and give the participants time to draw the symbol in
the appropriate place on the timeline, if they have experienced that event.
For example, “Draw a bell above each age when you went to a new
school.”
When the participants are finished with their timelines, allow an
opportunity for group members to share their timelines with the group.

FOR YOUNGER PARTICIPANTS:

The Timeline activity is most appropriate for fifth through eighth graders.
If you have a younger group, ask them to draw a picture of one significant
life event that happened to them, and then share it with the group. There
is an example included. (Ellie drew a picture of how she felt following her
cousin’s death from cancer.)

CLOSING ACTIVITY

A. GOOD CHANGE?
5 min. Say to the group:
“As you can see from your timeline, each of you has gone
through quite a few significant changes in your short life. Many
of these are changes you have little control over. For example,
you aren’t the one that decides whether or not your parents are
together, or where and when you’ll be moving. This can be very
difficult. However, you still have some power within the changes
that affect you.”
Ask the group:
⇒ What do you have some control over within your family changes?
In other words, how can you make something good out of a
change that you did not want? (Examples: making new friends
after a move, writing a parent a letter while they are in jail)
⇒ How can change be fun?
⇒ Why is change sometimes a good thing?
⇒ What has been a positive change in your life?

26
HELPFUL HINT

If you are keeping folders on each of the group members, put their life
timelines or pictures in their individual folders, as well as a copy of the
Timeline Key, so that later on, they will know what the symbols mean.

27
 AUTOGRAPH GAME!
The object of the game is to try to have every group member sign one of your boxes
(but no more than one). Someone can only sign their name in the box if they have
experienced what it states in the box. If they have not experienced it, then ask the
person about another box. You may also sign your own paper once.

Your parents are separated You live with one parent and You have a new baby born
or divorced visit the other into your family

This is a new school for you You don’t get to see your One of your pets has died
this year mom or your dad very much

You have to do chores Your parents still fight You have lived in a foster
sometimes home

Someone in your family is You sometimes feel angry or Someone you love has been
dying or has died sad about your family’s in jail or is now in jail
changes

28
 TIMELINE KEY

SIGNIFICANT EVENT SYMBOL TO DRAW

Preschool or first school Blocks

New baby born Baby in a blanket
Someone important left home Waving hand
Parents separated and/or divorced Broken heart
Moved House
Witnessed family violence Sad face
Family member went to jail Three bars
Went to live with other relatives Three stick figures
Lived in a foster home Triangle
Got a new pet Food dish
Someone close to me went to treatment Bottle/pills crossed out
Went to a new school Bell
Family member got out of jail Key
Someone important to me died Tombstone
Received an award or when I
felt proud about something Star
Joined a team, club or organization Happy face
Parent(s) remarried or parent Heart
has new boy/girlfriend

29
 INTRODUCTION TO FEELINGS
SESSION FIVE

LESSON OBJECTIVE
Participants will:
⇒ Explore different feelings associated with their family change.
⇒ Identify feelings based on facial expressions and body posture.

SUPPLIES NEEDED
A variety of magazines (at least one per group member)
Collage supplies- scissors, glue sticks, markers, and large blank paper
for each person
“How do you think they feel?” (page 33)
“Suggestions of how they might feel” (page 34)

BEFORE THE MEETING

Gather a diverse collection of magazines and supplies for the collages

before the group meeting begins.

NOTES TO THE LEADER

In this session group members will be introduced to a variety of feelings.
The participants will have an opportunity to discern and explore different
feelings based on facial expressions and body positioning.
The discussion around feelings will remain relatively general, and in the
following session, group members will be asked to identify specific
feelings related to their family change(s).

It is important to note that the topic of feelings should be incorporated

into all of the sessions and is not simply isolated to two group sessions.
Having participants be able to recognize and identify feelings related to
their family changes is vitally important throughout the course of the
meetings. In fact, prior to the fifth session, feelings may have already
been addressed at length. Please encourage group members to share
their feelings at any point.

30
MEETING WARM-UP
A. TODAY I FEEL
5 min.
Say to the group,
“Today we’ll be taking a look at feelings. We’re going to start off
by telling one another two feelings that we’ve had today.
However, in our activity today, nobody can use the same feeling
more than once. In other words, we will have to come up with
many different feelings, perhaps some with similar meanings. For
example, if you’re angry and somebody has already used that
word to describe their day, you could use similar feelings like
mad, furious, enraged, or frustrated.”

LEARNING ACTIVITES

A. WHAT’S IT LOOK LIKE TO YOU?

5 min. Using the cartoon illustrations of various facial expressions on page 33,
ask the group members to match a feeling with the facial expression
demonstrated by the cartoon character. There is no wrong or right
answer, but another attachment (Suggestions of How They Might Feel) offers
an idea of what each facial expression could represent.

B. CREATING A COLLAGE
20 min. Distribute magazines and collage supplies to the group. Instruct them to
find and cut out pictures of different emotions they see represented by
various images. Have them create a collage by gluing the pictures onto a
large piece of paper, and writing the emotion they see expressed.
Encourage participants to explore and use a wide range of emotions.

C. SHOW IT OFF!
After the participants have finished their collages and have cleaned up
10 min. their space, give them an opportunity to show their collages to the whole
group.
Collect the collages and place them in their individual folders. These
collages will be referred to again during the next session.

CLOSING ACTIVITY

A. ANOTHER STORY- Best for younger participants

5 min. Read the book, Today I Feel Silly: And Other Moods That Make My
Day by Jamie Lee Curtis and Illustrator, Laura Cornell (Harper
Collins Juvenile Books). This book normalizes the many feelings we
experience in any given day, in both a fun and realistic manner.

31
 Other books dealing with feelings/emotions:
What Are YOU So Grumpy About? by Tom Lichtenheld. (Little Brown
& Co., 2003).
I'm Gonna Like Me: Letting Off a Little Self-Esteem
by Jamie Lee Curtis, Laura Cornell (Illustrator); (Harper Collins, 2002)
When Sophie Gets Angry- Really, Really Angry... by Molly Garrett Bang;
(Scholastic Trade, 1999)
The Brand New Kid by Katie Couric, Marjorie Priceman (Illustrator);
(Doubleday, 2000)
Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day by Judith
Viorst, Ray Cruz (Illustrator); (Aladdin, 1987)
-OR-
FOR OLDER PARTICIPANTS
SAYING HOW YOU FEEL
Close the session by asking the group members to share their feelings
with someone who is important to them.
Other follow-up questions:
⇒ How did it feel before you told them?
⇒ How did you feel afterwards?
⇒ Why do you think it can be difficult to tell someone how you feel?

32
 HOW DO YOU THINK THEY FEEL?

The original thirty drawings of these faces were created by an unknown artist or cartoonist.

33
 SUGGESTIONS OF HOW THEY MIGHT FEEL

The original thirty drawings of these faces were created by an unknown artist or cartoonist.

34
 MY CHANGE, MY FEELINGS
SESSION SIX

LESSON OBJECTIVE
Participants will:
⇒ Continue to explore different feelings.
⇒ Ask group members to identify specific feelings associated with their
primary family changes.

SUPPLIES NEEDED
Feelings Cube (page 38)
Feelings Cards (page 39-41)

BEFORE THE MEETING

Put together the Feelings Cube (page 38) prior to the start of the session.
(Cut along the dark lines, fold along the lighter lines and tape the edges
together.)
NOTE: You may also use a square box and just write a different feeling
on each side of the cube.
Also, you’ll need to cut out the Feelings Cards (page 39-41) for
participants to use during Learning Activities A and B.

NOTES TO THE LEADER

This session focuses heavily on feelings. Participants will begin by
exploring the meaning of different feelings, and identify times when they
have experienced them. In Learning Activity B, the participants will next
identify specific feelings they have or have had that relate to their family
change(s).

Because participants are being asked to share their feelings and

experiences, the risk level increases. Keep this in mind while the
session is taking place, and be sure to remind the group members of the
very important group guideline of confidentiality.

35
MEETING WARM-UP
A. FEELINGS CUBE
10 min. Take turns rolling the feelings cube. Whichever feeling lands on top, ask
the group member to answer one of the statements that you’ll read aloud
to them. (Fill in the (blank) with the feeling they rolled).

• When I feel _______, the best thing to do is…

• When you’re _______, who is a person you would share this
feeling with?
• What makes you feel ________?
• What do you feel ________ about the most?
• When was the last time you felt ________? Tell us about what
happened.
• How do you look when you’re ______? (Show us!)
• Something my family does that makes me _______ is...
• What would you say to a friend who was feeling _______?
• When you’re _______, what do you do?
• Something good to do when I’m feeling ______ is…
OPTION: After the group member rolls the cube, ask them to tell a time
when they have experienced that emotion.

LEARNING ACTIVITES

A. ACT OUT A FEELING

15 min. Using the Feelings Cards, place the cards face down on the table so that
no one can read them. Pull out the card that reads, “OTHER” (that card
will be used for Learning Activity B and put it aside.) Have a volunteer
pick one of the cards without showing anybody what it says. That person
should then act out the feeling while the rest of the group tries to guess
what feeling they are acting out. They can talk, as long as they do not say
the actual feeling displayed on the card. Encourage them to use real life
examples from times when they’ve actually felt the emotion.
Do this activity until everyone has had a turn. (There may be cards that
are not acted out by the participants.)

B. FEELINGS PICK
15 min.
Now set the Feelings Cards face up on the table and include the
“OTHER” card. Ask them if they understand the meaning of all of the
different feelings. Then instruct group members, one at a time, to choose
two or three feelings that they have experienced related to their family
change(s). Ask them to explain why they chose the cards they did.

36
 (Example: “I picked worried because I don’t know who’s going to take
care of me since my mom left home.”)
Be sure the group members focus on their feelings about their
family or family change(s).
Participants should return their cards immediately after they’ve shared so
the next person can choose the same cards if they wish.

CLOSING ACTIVITY

A. MORE CUBE FUN!

5 min. Using the Feelings Cube from the warm-up activity, ask group members
to again take turns rolling the cube. Whichever feeling lands on top, have
the participant tell the group members something fun or good they can do
when they experience that particular feeling. For example, Jacob rolls the
cube and it lands on angry. Jacob says to the group, “A fun thing to do
when I’m angry is to take recycled paper and rip it into small pieces.”

37
 Happy

Sad

Angry

Lonely Jealous Worried

38
 FEELINGS CARDS

Sad Hurt

Happy Jealous

Worried Hopeful

Disappointed Peaceful

39
 Unimportant
Overwhelmed
(or ignored)

Embarrassed Angry

Scared Confused

Lonely
Safe

40
 Shy Proud

Excited Loved

Relieved Guilty

OTHER
Unsafe (my feeling isn’t on
any cards)

41
 HOW OUR FAMILIES
EXPRESS THEIR ANGER
SESSION SEVEN

LESSON OBJECTIVE
Participants will:
⇒ Discuss the normality of anger amidst family changes.
⇒ Think about and share how participants’ family members show their anger.
⇒ Identify healthy ways to express anger.

SUPPLIES NEEDED
Two blank note cards per person
Pencils
Copies of “Me and My Anger” (page 46)
A package of large marshmallows
Toothpicks
Markers
A piece of flipchart paper

BEFORE THE MEETING

Gather the necessary supplies. Be sure to have at least two marshmallows

per person (and one more for each of them to eat as a treat!).
Make copies of the handout, “Me and My Anger.”

NOTES TO THE LEADER

After spending the past two sessions focusing on feelings related to
participants’ family changes, today’s session will focus on one feeling in
particular: anger.

The focus on anger is important because it is such a common feeling

children/youth experience because of their family situations. Often,
children are particularly angry because they feel they have no control
over what is going on around them, and have little opportunity to
express how this makes them feel. If their anger is not channeled in
healthy ways, it can lead to problems including fighting, poor grades,
destructive friendships, isolation, depression, or volatile “blow-ups.”
The purpose of this session is to validate their feelings of anger and help
them identify positive ways to manage and control their anger.

42
MEETING WARM-UP
A. HOW WELL DO YOU KNOW ME? (for group members in
grade 5 or older)
10 min.
Distribute a note card and pencil to each person. Instruct them to write
their name in the corner of the card and to privately write something
about themselves that they do not think other people in the group know
about them. Then collect the cards and hand another blank note card to
each person. One at a time, read aloud what was written on the note
cards without saying who wrote what statement. After each statement is
read, the group members should try to guess who matches that particular
fact about themselves, and write their guess on the note card. Then go
through the statements again and tell the group what statement goes with
each person. The most correct guesses is the winner!
-OR-
ADAPTATION FOR YOUNGER PARTICIPANTS
As group members enter the room, have them whisper to you one thing
about themselves that they do not think other people in the group know
about them. Write what they said down, but do not let anyone see it.
After everyone has privately told you one thing about themselves, read
through the statements out of order, and have group members try to
guess which statement matches which group member. The most correct
guesses is the winner!

LEARNING ACTIVITIES
A. FAMILY ANGER
10 min. Say to the group,
“Today we’re going to focus on one particular feeling: anger.
Feeling angry at your family members or at your family situation
is very normal when you’re experiencing some big changes at
home that you have little or no control over. However, if we do
not acknowledge or recognize the angry feelings, we can end up
feeling pretty bad and make some unhealthy decisions.”
Distribute the “Me and My Anger” handout to each group member.
Read through the questions together and ask them to answer the
questions individually. After they have completed the handout, take turns
having them read their answers aloud to the group. (They do not need to
read every answer they have written if it is too personal.)

OPTION: If the group is very young or has trouble reading and/or

writing, go through the handout verbally, or ask them to draw pictures in
the boxes instead of writing.

43
 B. MARSHMALLOW PLAY
Distribute two marshmallows, four toothpicks, and markers to each
person. With the marshmallows, ask them to create themselves and
someone else in their family with whom they are particularly angry.
15 min.
Example of “marshmallow people”:

While participants are creating their marshmallow people, have them

think about something relating to their family that makes them angry.
Then, when they’ve finished making their marshmallow people, instruct
them to each role play their situation for the group. Example: Carlos is
angry because his father left his brothers and him last year, and his dad
rarely calls or sees them now. With his marshmallows, Carlos says to his
dad, “I’m mad at you because you never call or come and see us. Why did
you leave?” (Carlos can then make up an answer for his father or simply
express his anger to him.)
Offer a (clean) marshmallow for each of the participants to eat after they
have shared their role play with the group.
Say to the group:
“You may not be able to tell the person you’re angry with why
you’re angry. But expressing your anger through your
marshmallow people is a way of getti ng your feelings out, even if
the real person never hears you. You have a right to feel angry,
even toward someone you love very much.”

C. DON’T BOTTLE THAT ANGER!

Using a sheet of flipchart paper, ask the group members to come up with
some healthy ways to deal with their feelings of family anger. Examples:
5 min. - Talk it out with a safe person
- Call a friend
- Write a letter to the person you are angry with (even if you do not
give the letter to the person, it can feel good to write it)
- Try to understand what the other person may be feeling
- Take slow and steady breaths while counting to 20
- Journal about it or draw a picture
- Ask yourself if this is really worth getting angry about
- Walk away from the situation until you cool down
- Go outdoors and play for a while

44
CLOSING ACTIVITY

ANGRY FACES
5 min. As you prepare to leave, ask everyone, one at a time, to make their
angriest face. Compare the differences and similarities between the
various facial expressions. (Example: “Almost everyone’s lips were tight,
but Heather was the only one who crossed her arms.”)

HELPFUL HINT

Put their “Me and My Anger” handouts in their individual folders.

Something else you can do is make copies of the list of healthy ways to
handle anger that the group created during the closing activity, and put a
copy in each of their folders so that participants take it with them later.

45
 ME AND MY ANGER
Today I got angry when…

Something happening in my family that I’m really angry about is…

Some of the ways that I usually show my anger Some of the ways that my family members
is by… usually show their anger is by…

Feeling angry can be hard sometimes because…

46
 THE WORRY BURDEN
SESSION EIGHT

LESSON OBJECTIVE

Participants will:
⇒ Discuss how normal it is to feel worry when experiencing significant
changes. It is a common part of change.
⇒ Explore worries that the group members have about their family changes.
⇒ Identify positive ways of releasing or easing worry.

SUPPLIES NEEDED

Clay/Play Doh
A collection of shells or stones
2 spoons
2 tennis balls

BEFORE THE MEETING

Be sure to provide enough clay for each participant to create a symbol or

object from it.
Before the meeting, collect shells and/or rocks for each group member
to take with them.
(NOTE: A bag of polished rocks can also be purchased from craft stores
for a minimal cost.)

NOTES TO THE LEADER

Along with anger, another common feeling closely associated with

difficult family changes is worry. Group members are often worried
about family members who are going through something traumatic, or
they feel worried about themselves and their unstable/uncertain future.
In other words, children and youth experiencing significant changes in
their lives can often carry an extra burden because they have little control
over the decision-making process, but are usually directly affected by the
decisions that are made for them.
This session will focus on worry, normalizing the feeling, and offering
participants suggestions about healthy ways to ease worry.

47
MEETING WARM-UP

A. ORCHIDS AND ONIONS

10 min. Ask one person at a time to tell the group a good thing (an orchid) and a
bad thing (an onion) that has happened to them in the past week. It can
also be something in the future that they are looking forward to or not
looking forward to.

LEARNING ACTIVITIES

A. WHAT’S YOUR WORRY?

20 min. Distribute a quantity of clay or Play Doh to each person and ask them to
create something representing a worry that relates to their family
change(s). Examples: someone could make a house out of his clay
because he is worried about an upcoming move. Or a person could create
a broken heart because she is worried about her parents’ fighting and
perhaps getting a divorce. Be sure to be clear that the worry should
directly relate to their family change(s).
Once everyone has created a symbol, ask them to take turns showing
other group members what they created and why they created that
particular symbol.
After each person shares their worry, ask other participants in the group
to offer suggestions as to what they could do to help ease their worry.
NOTE: If you have a group of younger participants, this activity may be
too abstract. Young children may have difficulty identifying a symbol
associated with their change and creating it out of clay. If this is the case,
allow group members to quietly play with the clay while the adult leader(s)
asks them direct questions about their worries. (A great discussion often
ensues when kids are simultaneously focused on a sensory activity while
talking.)
Say to the group,
“It’s very natural to feel worried when significant family changes
are going on around you. You may be worried for yourself, or you
may be worried for your family members. Perhaps both. It’s
okay to feel worried, but it can also cause you a lot of stress if you
do not get a break from your worry. In other words, it’s not
healthy for anyone to worry all of the time.”

B. WORRY STONE
10 min.
Place a variety of shells and/or interesting stones in the center of the
table. Inform the group that these are “worry shells” or “worry stones”
and that the purpose of the shell/stone is to remind everyone that it is okay
to worry, but also that it is also okay to stop worrying and just have fun.

48
 Encourage them to choose one shell/stone to take with them. Tell them
to take some time each day to rub their shell/stone and worry about their
change during the time that they are rubbing it. However, once they put
their shell/stone away, they should let go of their worry and allow
themselves to experience feelings of joy, relief, and fun.
As they choose a shell/stone one by one, ask them to tell the group one
thing that they plan to do this week that will help ease their worry.
Examples: “I’m going to write a letter to my dad who’s in jail.” Or, “I’m
going to call a friend and talk about it instead of bottling it up.” Or, “The
next time I hear my parents fight, I’m going to go outside and ride my
bike instead of listening to their fight and worrying about them.”

CLOSING ACTIVITY

A. HEAVY SPOONFULS
5 min. Form two teams into two relay lines. Give the first person in each line a
spoon and a tennis ball. They have to speed walk to the other side of the
room while balancing the ball on the spoon, and come back, handing off
the spoon and ball to the next person. If the ball falls at any point, they
have to return to the front of the line and start again. The first team to get
everyone through the line wins.

49
 HOPES AND DREAMS
SESSION NINE

LESSON OBJECTIVE
Participants will:
⇒ Offer an opportunity for group members to express their hopes and
dreams that they have for themselves and/or their families.
⇒ Talk about how it feels when family members disappoint them.
⇒ Identify an important dream they have for themselves.

SUPPLIES NEEDED
Small package of M&M’s
Drawing paper
Markers/pencils
Copies of “Dreams of my Own” (page 53)

BEFORE THE MEETING

Prior to the start of the group, purchase a small package of M&M’s (or
other small candy with a variety of colors) for the Warm-Up Activity.
Also, make enough copies of the “Dreams of my Own” handout so that
each person will have one.

NOTES TO THE LEADER

Experiencing significant family changes can often bring up feelings of
hopelessness and discouragement in those directly affected by the
changes. Therefore, it is important that the group members have an
opportunity to express their hopes and dreams, despite going through a
difficult time. Their hopes and dreams may be realistic or may not be;
the important thing is that they are able to express them.
This session provides a safe format for group members to share dreams,
goals, and hopes that they have for themselves and/or their families.
NOTE: This might be a difficult session for the participants if they have
hopes that will likely not come to fruition. For example, it is very normal
for kids to hope that their parents will get back together, but the
likelihood of that happening may be slim. However, it is important that
they are given an opportunity to state their wishes.

50
MEETING WARM-UP
A. M&M SHARE
10 min. Pass out five M&M’s to each group member. Ask them to say one thing
about themselves for each piece of candy they eat.
Variation- Ask them to answer a particular get-to-know-you question
depending upon the color of the M&M . Examples follow:
Green- What is something you would like to learn how to do?
Yellow- How did you celebrate your last birthday?
Brown- If you had two free tickets to Disney World, who would you take
with you? Why?
Red- Who is a person you admire? Why?
Blue- What do you want to do when you grow up?
Orange- How do you show your friends that you care about them?

LEARNING ACTIVITIES
A. DRAW A HOPE
20 min. Using drawing paper and markers, ask the participants to draw a picture
of a hope or dream that they have related to their family change.
Examples: Draw a picture of a parent being released from jail, or draw a
picture of parents living together again.
If you have a group that prefers to write instead of draw, distribute the
handout “Dreams of my own” (page 53) to each group member.
On the reverse side, ask them to draw a picture (or write) about a realistic
goal/dream that they have for themselves. Examples: Draw a picture of a
cap and gown to symbolize graduating from college, or draw a picture of a
dog and doctor because you want to be a veterinarian when you grow up.
After they have drawn their pictures, ask them to show them to other
group members and say why they chose to draw what they did. Collect
the drawings and add them to their individual participant folders to take
home at the final group meeting.

B. GROUP DISCUSSION:
Say to the group,
“When things don’t turn out the way you want them to in your family,
10 min. you may feel a lot of difficult feelings, including a sense of anger or
hopelessness. However, it is important to still have special hopes and
dreams for yourself. Although you have little or no control over what
happens with your family change, you can control your own life
decisions. In other words, you can still achieve personal goals even
when your family is having a difficult time.”

51
 Ask the group members to respond to the following questions:
⇒ When is a time you have felt disappointed about something in your
family? How did you react?
⇒ Why do you think it is okay to still have hopes and dreams for your
family, even when things may feel hopeless?
⇒ What can you do to help yourself feel better when what you hope
for your family does not come true? Does the disappointment
make it harder to hope again? Why or why not?

CLOSING ACTIVITY

A. IF I WERE….
5 min. Read the following statements, and invite individual group members to
answer.
If I were…
An animal, I’d be…
A racehorse, my name would be…
A season, I’d be…
A piece of furniture, I’d be…
A time of day, I’d be…
A movie star, I’d be…
A movie, I’d be…
A salesperson, I’d be selling…
A natural disaster, I’d be…
A superhero, I’d be…
A teacher, I’d teach…
A place to eat, I’d be…
A kind of car, I’d be a…

52
 DREAMS OF MY OWN
A special dream I have for myself is to:

I want this for myself because:

Someone who could help me accomplish my dream:

I will try to keep this dream alive by:

Some of my special talents and gifts include:

53
 WORKING THROUGH GRIEF
SESSION TEN

(NOTE: THIS SESSION IS MOST SUITABLE FOR OLDER GROUP PARTICIPANTS)

LESSON OBJECTIVE
Participants will:
⇒ Understand the natural grieving process associated with any
significant loss.
⇒ Examine the grief cycle and have participants individually identify aspects of
the grieving process that they have experienced and/or are experiencing.
⇒ Learn the warning signs of depression.
⇒ Identify healthy strategies for coping with loss and grief.

SUPPLIES NEEDED
A tennis ball or bean bag
Copies of “Grief Loop” (page 58) or copies of “Adapted Grief
Loop” for younger participants (page 59)
Copies of “Signs of possible depression” (pages 60-61)
“Real Life” Scenarios (pages 62-63)
A sheet of newsprint and a marker

BEFORE THE MEETING

Make copies of either Grief Loop depending upon the age of your
participants (page 58 or page 59). Also make copies of “Signs of possible
depression” (pages 60-61) for each group member.

NOTES TO THE LEADER

This session’s focus is to give participants information about grief, loss,
and depression.

Although it is important for participants of all ages to understand general

concepts of grief and loss, some of the session’s content related to
depression is more suitable for older group members. Please adapt and
modify session content and materials to the developmental level of
group members as you see fit. For example, page 59 is an adapted
version of the Grief Loop that can be used with younger participants.

54
 Most people associate grief and loss with situations that are related to the
death of a loved one. However, many people experience situations of
loss and feelings of grief that may be due to a range of life experiences
and situations.

The following are examples of significant family changes that can trigger
feelings of loss and grief: a parent leaving home, divorce/separation,
moving, changing schools, illness of a loved one, a parent in jail, a new
baby brother or sister, living in a foster home, homelessness, etc. In
other words, all of the family changes that group members identify as
being significant can trigger feelings of grief and loss.

This session focuses on normalizing the grieving process. It will give

participants information about the grief cycle, and group members will
have an opportunity to identify their own experiences with various stages
of the grieving process.
With older group members, time will be spent on recognizing and
understanding depression. Also, participants will identify ways to cope
with situations of loss and feelings of grief, including seeking out further
help for dealing with depression.

MEETING WARM-UP
A. IT’S A TOSS UP
5 min. Provide a tennis ball or bean bag for the group. Begin by tossing the ball
to someone in the group while asking the person a question about
themself. After the person answers the question, they should toss it to
someone else (who has not yet received the ball) and ask that person a
question about themself. No one can ask the same question. This should
be done until everyone has had an opportunity to answer and ask a
question.
OPTION: Make it more challenging by adding the rule that no one can
ask a question that can be answered by a simple “yes” or “no.” Use open-
ended questions that begin with words such as: who, what, where, and
when.

LEARNING ACTIVITIES
A. THE GRIEF LOOP
10 min. Distribute either the original or adapted Grief Loop (page 58 or 59)
(depending upon age and developmental level of participants) to each
person and read it aloud as a group. Discuss the handout, explaining the
more complex concepts.

55
 Emphasize the following points about the grief cycle:
• You may experience the stages of grief “out of order”.
• You could go through all of these stages in one day, or it could
take you a month, or a year. Most people go through the Grief
Loop over and over again. Also, significant dates or milestones
may trigger your grief all over again.
• Unfortunately, no one can tell you when you will feel better.
Everyone heals in their own time and in their own way.
• There is no right or wrong way to grieve.

B. YOUR OWN CYCLE OF GRIEF

10 min.
After you have explained the Grief Loop and group members understand
the concepts, ask them to individually point to where they think they fall
within the grief loop today. Ask them to share where they started, and
what has changed, if anything, since the loss has occurred. (Remember,
for some the timing of a loss could be quite vague, like a child who is
grieving a parent that they have never met, or someone who has been
diagnosed with a life-threatening or debilitating disease.)
After everyone has had a chance to identify and share where they are in
their own process of grief, have a brief discussion.
Follow-up discussion questions:
• How do you express your grief? Do you tend to get angry easily?
Cry? Have trouble eating or sleeping? Disconnect from people
you care about?
• How do you think your family members express their grief?
• What stage(s) of grief can you relate to the most? The least?
• Are there feelings or stages that you feel you have experienced
that are not on this Grief Loop? If so, explain.

C. SIGNS OF POSSIBLE DEPRESSION

10 min.
Say to the group,
“There is a big difference between feeling sad due to a particular
situation and having depression. Usually when someone feels
temporarily sad, it is for a short period of time (a number of hours
or days, but not commonly more than two weeks). However,
when someone is actually depressed, the sad feelings are usually
more intense and last for at least two weeks with very little hope
or relief.”

56
 Distribute the “Signs of possible depression” handout. Read through the
warning signs of depression and ask them to check individually the box
next to the description if/when they have experienced that.
Next, read aloud the “Real Life Scenarios” (page 62-63) and ask
participants the follow-up questions included there.

CLOSING ACTIVITY

A. COPING WITH YOUR GRIEF

10 min. Using a blank sheet of newsprint, ask the group to identify some healthy
and positive things they can do when they feel numb, sad, or angry about
their family changes. Write down their suggestions as they say them
aloud.
Examples of healthy coping methods:
• Call a friend
• Talk to a trusted adult
• Draw or write about your feelings
• Write a letter to the person for whom you are grieving (even if
they have died or are gone)
• Share your feelings with a trustworthy person
• Cry
• Breathe deeply and say to yourself, “This difficult feeling will
eventually pass. Things will get better.”
• Eat healthy foods
• Remember that what you are feeling is normal

57
 G ri e f L o o p
- Designed b y Gail Noller

58
Gr ief is a natural healing
process that begins when Initial Loss
we have experienced an shock
em ot io na l lo ss . Ea c h o f Quiet Acceptance numbness
us can help the process greater energy, interest in d i s be l i e f
by being aware of it, things/activities again, relief
understanding it, trusting future planning,
i t a n d g i vi n g i t ti m e . feel joy again

Denial
protest, pain,
w e e pi n g , “ w h y, ”
anger, guilt,
bargaining
Detachment HOPE (outbursts,
isolation, don’t screaming,
care about any- cursing &
t h i n g , s il e n c e , blaming)
w it hdr a wal ,
la ck li v el in e ss ,
automatic behavior

Let the feelings out!

De s pa i r Be patient with yourself–
loneliness, worthlessness, panic, depression, h e a l i ng t a k e s t i m e
It is normal to go through the grief loop can’t sleep, overtired, weight loss or gain,
many times in a short time period or skip no energy, don’t care about anything, Grief must be shared
a step. su i ci d a l t h o u g h ts In grief, we move from
Ea ch of us gri e ves i n o ur o wn w ay. surviving, to healing, to
growing
 A da pt e d G r i e f
L oop
- Revision of Gail Noller’s
Grief Loop for use with
younger group members “ T h i s d i d n ’ t r e a ll y
happen.”
Read through the printed “I have more energy now.”
“ I c a n’t b e l i e v e it . ”
quotes and ask group “I s t i l l f e e l t h e l o s s , b u t I a m a l s o
member s to ide ntify what “I don’t really feel
able to look forward to
they have experienced anything.”
things now.”
and where they feel they
are in the loop today. “I see a future
for myself.”
“Why did thi s have to
ha ppen to me?”
“I’m so angry!”
“It was my fault and I
feel really guilty.”
“I feel like I’m HOPE
just going through “God, if you change
the motions and I th is, I ’ll be a bette r
don’t care about person.”
anything.”
“I d on’t r eall y want
to spend time with
a n y o ne . ”

Be patient with yourself–

Let the feelings out! “I feel so sad and tired all the time.” h e a l i n g t a k e s ti m e
It is normal to go through the grief loop “I don’t want to eat.” G r ie f m u s t b e s har ed
many times in a short time period or skip “I don’t want to do the things I used to do.” In grief, we move from
a step. surviving, to healing,
“I f e e l s o h op e le s s an d al o n e .”
Ea ch of us gri e ves i n o ur o wn w ay. to growing

59
 SIGNS OF POSSIBLE DEPRESSION

The following is a list of general signs of depression. This is NOT to be used to diagnose
depression. That should only be done by a mental health professional in a private setting.
Distribute the handout to each group member and have them check the boxes that apply.

Check all that apply How long have you felt this way? Or, how often do
you experience this?

FEELINGS
Do you express the following:
Sadness

Emptiness

Hopelessness

Guilt

Worthlessness

Lack of enjoyment of everyday

pleasures

THINKING
Are you having difficulty:
Concentrating

Making decisions

Completing school work

Maintaining grades

PHYSICAL PROBLEMS
Do you have an increased number of:
Headaches

Stomachaches

Joint or backaches

Lack of energy

Sleeping problems

Weight or appetite changes

(gain or loss)

60
BEHAVIORAL PROBLEMS
Are you more:
Restless

Irritable

Not wanting to go to school

Wanting to be alone most of

the time
Having difficulty getting along
with others
Cutting classes or skipping
school
Dropping out of sports,
hobbies or activities
Drinking or using drugs

Do you talk or think about:

Suicide

Death

Other morbid subjects

If a particular group member has a number of boxes checked on the list and the child or youth experiences
the indicators often or for long periods of time, contact a parent and refer him or her to a mental health
professional for further exploration. THIS IS NOT A TOOL TO DIAGNOSE ANYONE WITH
DEPRESSION AND SHOULD NOT BE USED FOR THAT PURPOSE.

61
 “REAL LIFE” SCENARIOS
Read the following four scenarios aloud to the group. After you have read each one, ask the
participants the follow-up questions.

SCENARIO ONE:
Renasha and her boyfriend, Sam, had been going out for most of the school year when they
broke up almost two weeks ago. Since then, Renasha has felt sad and rejected. When she
feels really bad, she calls two of her best friends and talks to them about how she feels and her
friends do a great job of listening. Renasha has also decided to try out for the basketball team
because of the extra time she has now that she’s not spending time with Sam. Sometimes
Renasha cries herself to sleep because she misses Sam. She continues to be angry with him,
but she knows that one day she’ll meet the right person.
What feelings do you think Renasha is feeling in this scenario?
Who does Renasha have as a part of her support system?
Does Renasha show signs of hope? If so, what are they?
If Renasha were your friend, would you be concerned about her well-being? Why or
why not?

SCENARIO TWO:
Renasha and her boyfriend, Sam, had been going out for most of the school year when
they broke up almost two weeks ago. Since then, Renasha has felt sad and rejected.
Her friends have tried to reach out to Renasha, but she just doesn’t feel like talking
about it with anyone. Instead of it getting easier with time, her feelings are getting
worse. She just feels empty and wants either to sleep all the time or watch television
all night long, so she can take her mind off Sam. Renasha no longer cares about her
classes or friends, and everyone seems to be irritating her. She just wants to be left
alone.
What feelings do you think Renasha is feeling in this scenario?
Who does Renasha have as a part of her support system?
Does Renasha show signs of hope?
If Renasha were your friend, would you be concerned about her well-being? Why or
why not?

62
SCENARIO THREE:
Justin’s mom and dad are fighting a lot at home. They argue about money and
responsibilities and blame each other for everything. His parents have always fought,
but it seems to be getting worse since his dad has been drinking more. Justin’s fed up
and angry with his parents’ fighting. Justin comes home from school and goes right to
his room for the night. He ends up sleeping, listening to music, or watching television
for hours. Friends call, but he doesn’t want to talk to them because he doesn’t want
anyone to know how messed up things are at home. Oftentimes, Justin pulls out his
homework and just stares at it, unable to concentrate on anything. At night, he has
trouble sleeping and wonders if all of this pain is worth it.
What feelings do you think Justin is feeling in this scenario?
Who does Justin have as a part of his support system?
Does Justin show signs of hope?
If Justin were your friend, would you be concerned about his well-being? Why or why
not?

SCENARIO FOUR:
Justin’s mom and dad are fighting a lot at home. They argue about money and
responsibilities and they blame each other for everything. His parents have always
fought, but it seems to be getting worse since his dad has been drinking more. Justin’s
fed up and angry with his parents’ fighting. He doesn’t want to be around their fighting,
so he starts hanging out with friends more after school. They drink a lot, and Justin tries
it, but he doesn’t like how it makes him feel, so he stops. Justin decides to go to the
YWCA after school, and he starts working out. At night, he spends a lot of time in his
room talking to friends – one in particular, who listens to him talk about his problems.
He also likes to draw, and creates pictures when he’s feeling really upset. Justin’s art
teacher just asked him to display his artwork in a community art gallery, and he agreed
to do it.
What feelings do you think Justin is feeling in this scenario?
Who does Justin have as a part of his support system?
Does Justin show signs of hope? If so, what are they?
If Justin were your friend, would you be concerned about his well-being?
Why or why not?

63
 REACHING OUT
SESSION ELEVEN

LESSON OBJECTIVE
Participants will:
⇒ Identify supportive people they trust and can talk to beyond the
other group members.
⇒ Discuss trust and be able to define for themselves how to trust
others.
⇒ Be affirmed as trustworthy people.

SUPPLIES NEEDED
“If you could” (page 67)
Copies of “Helping Hand” (page 68) or Copies of “Personal
Protection Plan” (page 69)
Pencils
Permanent markers and/or puffy paints
A small hand mirror for each group member
Copies of “Trust Affirmation” (page 70)

BEFORE THE MEETING

Make copies of the handouts, “Helping Hand” (page 68) or “Personal

Protection Plan” (page 69) for each group member.
Purchase a small, inexpensive mirror at a craft store for each group
member for Learning Activity B.

NOTES TO THE LEADER

With the group coming to a close soon, it is important that the
participants begin to identify supportive people and resources outside of
the immediate group. This session will focus on looking outside the
group for helpful, trusting people to talk to about their feelings and
experiences. This also prepares them for the closure of the group, which
may be difficult for some.

64
MEETING WARM-UP
A. IF YOU COULD
10 min. Referring to, “If you could” (page 67), ask each group member to pick a
number between one and ten. Read aloud the “If you could” question
from the number they chose and have them answer the question.

LEARNING ACTIVITIES
A. HELPING HAND
15 min.
Say to the group,
“Because our group will be ending soon and we’ll no longer be
meeting as a group, it’s important that we think of people
outside of our group that we can turn to for support when we
need it. Who are people in your life that you trust and can talk
to about your feelings?”

Distribute the “Helping Hand” (page 68) to each group member. Instruct
them to trace their hand and to write the names of supportive people they
can turn to inside the hand. There is no minimum or maximum number
of people they should write. Participants can also decorate their hand
using crayons or markers.
Encourage participants to diversify their list by thinking of supportive
people at school, in the home and in the community – people such as
coaches, neighbors, and adults, as well as friends their own age.
When they’re finished writing and decorating their Helping Hand, have
participants take turns sharing with the other group members the people
they turn to for support.
-OR-
PERSONAL PROTECTION PLAN (Best for older participants)
Distribute the “My very own personal protection plan” (page 69) to each
group member. Allow them several minutes to write out their answers to
the questions before they share them aloud with the group.

B. WHO CAN I TRUST?

15 min. An important life skill for children and youth to learn is how to trust
people. Unfortunately, this is oftentimes learned the hard way when
someone they love breaks their trust or betrays them. If this happens a
lot, eventually the child or youth may find it nearly impossible to trust
anyone. It is important to address the issue of trust and help group
members recognize ways to trust other people who want to support and
help them.

65
 Ask a volunteer to read the following statement aloud:

Trust is having faith. It is relying and believing in

someone or something. It is having confidence that the
right thing will come without trying to control it or make
it happen. Sometimes it is hard to trust when life brings
painful experiences. Trust is being sure, deep down, that
there is some gift or learning in everything life brings.
- The Virtues Project

Distribute a small mirror to each group member. Using permanent

markers or puffy paints, ask the group members to write the following
words on the edge of their mirror. “I can trust myself to trust others.”
Ask the group members to respond to the following questions:
⇒ Who are the people you trust?
⇒ How do you know you can trust them?
⇒ How do you show you are trustworthy to other people? Give
examples.
⇒ After somebody breaks your trust, can they ever get it back? How?
How forgiving are you to someone who has broken your trust?
⇒ Why is it so important to have people in your life that you trust?

CLOSING ACTIVITY

A. TRUST AFFIRMATION
5 min. Distribute the “Trust Affirmation” (page 70) handout to each person.
Ask them to look at themselves in their mirror and say the statement
aloud as a group. Encourage them to take their mirror home and put it in
a place that reminds them that they are trustworthy people and can trust
others.

66
 IF YOU COULD…

Ask group members to pick a number between one and ten. Then read them the
related “If you could” question to answer aloud to the group.

1. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?

2. If you could give yourself any new first name, what name would you
choose?

3. If you could choose only one meal that you had to eat every day for the
rest of your life, what would you eat?

4. If you could meet any famous person you wanted, who would you
choose?

5. If you could design a school for animals, what would the school be like?

6. If you could drive, what kind of car would you want to drive?

7. If you could be in any movie, what movie would you choose to be in?

8. If you could play any sport professionally, what sport would you play?

9. If you could never have to eat one vegetable ever again for the rest of
your life, what vegetable would it be?

10. If you could be the President of the United States for one week, what
would you want to change about our world in that week?

67
 Trace your hand AND write
inside the hand the names of
people that you can turn to for support.
68
Things I can do when I feel afraid:

Safe people I can turn to when I’m scared:

Places I can go to feel safe:

69
 Trust Affirmation:
Copy this affirmation so that
each group member can have one.

TRUST AFFIRMATION:
♥ I believe that there is some good in everything
that happens.
♥ I can trust others unless I have a good
reason not to.
♥ I will allow trust to chase away my fears.
♥ I will look for the gift or lesson in
painful experiences.
♥ I am trustworthy. Today I will keep
my promises and be worthy of the trust
others place in me.

- Virtues Project

70
 FINAL CELEBRATION
SESSION TWELVE

LESSON OBJECTIVE
Participants will:
⇒ Evaluate the group experience from the prior twelve sessions.
⇒ Bring closure to the group and celebrate the group members’
participation in the group.

SUPPLIES NEEDED
Personalized Certificate of Participation for each group member (page
77)
“Closing Cards” (page 75)
Copies of “Children in Change Final Evaluation” (page 76)
Pencils
A snack food for the party
Music for the party (optional)
The participant folders with the group members’ work from the
twelve sessions.

BEFORE THE MEETING

Cut out the two “Closing Cards” (page 75) for the Warm-Up Activity.
Make copies of the Final Evaluation (page 76). Lastly, prepare a
Certificate of Participation (page 77) for each group member prior to the
meeting. Purchase snack food for the final celebration.

NOTES TO THE LEADER

The focus of this final session is three-fold. First, the session will help
group members recognize their progress throughout the twelve sessions.
Second, participants will have an opportunity to evaluate their group
experience and bring closure to the group. Finally, participants will have a
small party to celebrate their group experience.

71
MEETING WARM-UP
Say to the group,
10 min. “Today is our final group session. But before we have our party, we
are going to do some things to close our group.”
A. CLOSING CARDS
Using the “Closing Cards,” ask the group members to each answer both of
the statements, “I liked it when we…” and “I learned…” Encourage them
to think back to all of the twelve sessions.
HINT: To refresh their memories, you may want to review important
things you did together/talked about in the twelve sessions. Some
examples of activities: drew pictures of our families, talked about feelings,
acted out feelings, did a marshmallow play, created a worry symbol from
clay, talked about hopes and dreams, listened to one another, upheld
confidentiality, shared, etc.

LEARNING ACTIVITIES
A. FINAL EVALUATION
15 min.
Distribute the “Children in Change Final Evaluation” handout to the
participants. (They do not need to write their names on the paper.)
Instruct them to complete the evaluation individually, being as truthful and
thorough as possible. Once group members have finished their evaluation,
ask them to share a portion of their evaluation with the group.
NOTE: If the participants do not have well-developed reading/writing
skills, read the evaluation questions aloud and provide the necessary
assistance to group members.

B. GROUP CLOSING
5 min.
Ask each person to say one positive thing about their group experience.
Present each participant with a Certificate of Participation that states they
have successfully completed the Children in Change group.

72
CLOSING ACTIVITY
A. PARTY TIME!
15 min. Have a Children in Change Party. Provide some treats and perhaps a little
music for the party.
Hand out to participants their individual folders with their work from the
various sessions. Be sure to offer to take care of any drawings or writing
material that they do not want to bring home. (Some children or youth
may be apprehensive about family members seeing what they wrote or
drew, especially if it is negative.)
HINT: Something nice you can do as a facilitator prior to the start of this
session is to write a special note to each group member. Let them know
that you are glad they were in the group, and share something that shows
each of them that they are special. You can put the notes into their
folders.

73
 CLOSING CARDS

Cut out these two cards for the Warm-up Activity. Ask the group members to
take turns answering both of the statements, “I liked it when we…” and “I
learned…” Encourage them to reflect about all of the twelve sessions together.

“I liked it
when we…”

“I learned…”

74
 CHILDREN IN CHANGE
FINAL EVALUATION

Today is the last day of our group.

I feel ____________________________and ________________________to see it end.

Thinking back to everything we did together, the two things I liked best were:
1.______________________________________________________________________
2.______________________________________________________________________

I had many different feelings during the group sessions.

Some of the feelings I had were:
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________

Some important things I learned in this group were:

1.______________________________________________________________________
2.______________________________________________________________________

Something about my family change I still wonder about is:

________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________

75
76
CERTIFICATE OF
PARTICIPATION

is recognized for participating in the

Children in Change Group

Group Leader Group Leader

 ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Jennifer Simmonds has been a front-line youth development
professional for the past 15 years. Her experiences as a program
director, family-life educator and curriculum developer have
contributed to recent publication of a unique curriculum and
resource for teachers, youth workers, social workers and other
professionals. The Children in Change curriculum for third- to
eighth-graders experiencing family change draws on her extensive
background in group work, youth development and family life
education practices.

Jennifer received her Bachelor's degree in Communications from St. Mary's College of California. She also
has a Master's degree in Education-Youth Development Leadership from the University of Minnesota. The
mother of two children, she lives with her partner in Minneapolis.

This is her second book of specially designed group activities for children and youth; her first book,
Seeing Red, is an anger management and peace-making curriculum for youth that offers interactive activities
to teach kids the key skills needed to get along with others and to deal with anger in healthy ways.

The author works as a family-life educator and curriculum development specialist at Family & Children's
Service in Minneapolis. There she develops curricula, leads groups and makes community presentations on
current youth and family life topics, including grief and loss, coping with significant family change, anger
management and conflict resolution, parenting, social skills and issues facing gay, lesbian and bisexual
youth. A major part of her work has been to lead and help facilitate education and support groups for both
young people and parents. She is working on a third book, a curriculum model for developing education and
support groups for gay, lesbian and bisexual youth.

77