London has fallen- review

1.

Of the two films about attacks on the White House released in 2013, Roland Emmerich’s White
House Down proved bigger, dumberer and a whole lot more fun than the stodgily straight-
faced Olympus Has Fallen. Sadly, it’s the latter which has spawned this sequel, meaning
that Gerard Butler gets to do his bargain-basement Bruce Willis impression again, but this time
on the merrie olde streets of London. When world leaders gather for the PM’s state funeral,
London is hit by an “attack which has decimated most of the known landmarks of the British
capital!!!” Crikey! “Make those fuckers pay,” gurgles a dying Angela Bassett, hardening Gerard’s
resolve to send these “terrorist assholes” – most of whom are disguised as British bobbies
(“Fuck, they’re not real cops!!”) – back to “Fuckhead-istan” pronto.

The fact that the film-makers don’t actually use the song America, Fuck Yeah! hardly dispels the
sense that this is basically Team America: World Police without the jokes, and with more
wooden acting. The cheap-as-chips visual effects are pitiful (all sub-Doctor Who CG explosions
and video-game helicopter crashes), the action sequences coma-inducingly dull and overall
tone laughable, but not in a good way.

2.

President Benjamin Asher needs two things: better security personnel and better
scriptwriters.

The first time the president (Aaron Eckhart) was snatched by terrorists, in the 2013
thriller “Olympus Has Fallen,” watching his favorite Secret Service agent, Mike
Banning, rescue him was at least somewhat fun in a mindless sort of way. Now,
incredibly, the same president has been snatched by terrorists again, in the new
“London Has Fallen,” and this time the rescue is an unimaginative, repetitive slog.

The president, along with practically every other significant world leader, travels to
London for a state funeral, and a preposterous number of terrorists with an equally
preposterous supply of guns and explosives are waiting for him. They blow up a good
portion of the city in the process of taking him captive, planning to execute him live on
the Internet. Only one man can save him.

In the first movie, Gerard Butler, who plays Banning, came close to the likably taciturn
effect he was going for, but here he’s just boring and annoying. Over and over, this
written-by-committee movie (Babak Najafidirected) tries to give him and Mr. Eckhart
the kind of clipped one- and two-liners that aspire to be the next “I’ll be back,” but all of
them fall flat. The gun battles are incoherently filmed, and the flag-waving is
embarrassing. Will this hard-luck president again defy death while his stoic sidekick
vanquishes the nasty, uncivilized terrorists? It’s hard to care when a movie is this
formulaic and moronic.

“London Has Fallen” is rated R (Under 17 requires accompanying parent or adult

guardian), because blood is shed and unprintable words are uttered.
3.

What a shame the Clash couldn’t modify their famous hit to sing over the opening credits. The
great action bromance blossoms afresh between White House security agent Gerard Butler and
his boss, the equally buff US president Aaron Eckhart. There’s even a coming-out-of-the-closet
gag when the president briefly hides from the bad guys in a closet!

Last time, in the film Olympus Has Fallen, Butler gained personal redemption by saving the
president’s toned ass when terrorists stormed the White House.

Now they’re in London for a state occasion and it all kicks off again, with dozens of tourist
landmarks shattered by evil-doers from a country Butler robustly calls “Fuckheadistan” – and
they’re using surprisingly cheap-looking digital effects.

There is some surreal fun at the beginning as everything collapses, fake police open fire on
dignitaries including Germany’s “Chancellor Agnes Bruckner”, and there’s even a Final
Destination feel to the way all these heads of state get whacked. Butler and Eckhart realise that
security provisions in foreignland mean zilch: they can only rely on themselves, along with a few
loyal SAS guys and a pert female MI6 agent. But then it’s the same thing over again, with poor
old vice-president Morgan Freeman looking like a stricken deer in the emergency ops room.

4.

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Having watched and mostly enjoyed (with the inevitable suspension of disbelief) the sister film
'Olympus has Fallen' I had the chance to watch this over in the states. Assuming another dose
of suspension of disbelief, I settled down to watch it.

This film, despite its good lead cast appears to have left the brains of plot and due process
behind as it made the leap across the pond.

Set in London which is gleefully smashed up within the first 30mins of the movie along with most
of the global heads of state it puts action scenes over plot devices (not that I was expected
anything else) but there are some concerning portrayals of real life characters which undermine
any amount of nice explosions and gun-play.

The heads of state are all archaic stereotypes of what we assume to be the culture of each
country rolled into one person.

For instance, the Italian PM has a young 30-year-old-love who he meets in secrete atop
Westminster Abbey. The Canadian President has the perfect family. The French President is
conducting some kind of important state business in a kind of renaissance launcher boat on the
Thames replete with Champagne (did he really use it to get from Paris to London?) and the
Japenese PM is stoically quiet, patient and reserved until the moment when the Thames Bridge
is blown up around him. Of course the US President is portrayed as a hip, fashionable humane
and judicious man with none of these stereotypes (negative or otherwise).
This marks the first concern - outside of their own nation, Hollywood really does not care how
these cosmopolitan characters are portrayed - indeed - entire nations are mercilessly the
subject of stereotypical derision as the hapless heads of state are killed in creative manners.
Not that I mind red London buses being the unprinted cue for 'this film is set in London'.

What happens next is even more incredible. Since the 'assassination' of the British PM, with the
exception of some kind of funeral planning meeting early on, there does not seem to be any
kind of UK government / leadership / disaster management faculty left. Rather than employ
characters from real life counterparts like 'deputy PM' or 'Defense Secretary' or 'COBRA' or
indeed our intelligence services like MI5 the film leads us to believe the the job of bringing order
to this chaos falls to a Chief Inspector who thinks that yanks is still an acceptable term for our
American cousins. (He is not even a Chief Constable though confusingly he does have chief
constable epaulet rank badges) of London's Scotland Yard. Really - the entire intelligence and
counter-terrorism effort. (This would be akin to a police captain in the WDCPD mopping up after
a similar event took out the President of the US, though we know of course in Hollywood this
could never happen).

We have Morgan Freeman as Vice President giving strong suggestions (read: orders?) over
some kind of skype thing to this Chief Inspecter who enacts his word like some kind of servile
unthinking amoeba.

Even our army is portrayed by a portly old man wearing something from the dad's army set who
dares to suggest a military response but is denied this by Morgan Freeman and sheepishly
accepts this reprimand.

At some point the President asks to be shot by Banning should he fall into the hands of the
terrorists. Of course as soon as this is heard we know that the president is going to fall into the
hands of the terrorists and is undoubtedly going to be rescued again. This removes any
anticipation of plot from the film and leaves the rest of it as mere action-porn than anything else.

Other issues such as the NSA revealing that they have been spying on a London address for
ages and the mindless insertion of armed foreign nationals on the streets of London are too
numerous to mention.

Should Aaron be re-elected for a third term in something like 'Paris has Fallen' then I think I
might have to go back to watching nature documentaries on UK Gold to sate my action thirst.
Beast hunting beast in the great oceans would have more twists and turns than this film.

A bland, obtuse and frankly disturbing revelation of how Hollywood regards the rest of the world
should be portrayed against the might and absolute 'good' of the USA. How arrogant,
patronising and disgusting.