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    A Course On Listening. Are You A Good Communicator?

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    Theuns Schoeman
    This document discusses the importance of listening skills for effective communication. It argues that listening is the missing link in communication and defines listening as becoming silent so you can understand others' perspectives emotionally. It provides several examples of what listening is not, such as interrupting, formulating responses instead of listening, and finishing other people's sentences. The document recommends attending to the speaker, acknowledging their perspective, clarifying understanding, and responding rather than reacting to improve listening skills and relationships.

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    A Course On Listening. Are You A Good Communicator?

    Uploaded by

    Theuns Schoeman
    44 views3 pages
    This document discusses the importance of listening skills for effective communication. It argues that listening is the missing link in communication and defines listening as becoming silent so you can understand others' perspectives emotionally. It provides several examples of what listening is not, such as interrupting, formulating responses instead of listening, and finishing other people's sentences. The document recommends attending to the speaker, acknowledging their perspective, clarifying understanding, and responding rather than reacting to improve listening skills and relationships.

    Original Description:

    Steps to improve your communication

    Original Title

    Communications

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    © Attribution Non-Commercial (BY-NC)

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    This document discusses the importance of listening skills for effective communication. It argues that listening is the missing link in communication and defines listening as becoming silent so you can understand others' perspectives emotionally. It provides several examples of what listening is not, such as interrupting, formulating responses instead of listening, and finishing other people's sentences. The document recommends attending to the speaker, acknowledging their perspective, clarifying understanding, and responding rather than reacting to improve listening skills and relationships.

    Copyright:

    Attribution Non-Commercial (BY-NC)
    Download as DOCX, PDF, TXT or read online from Scribd
    Download as docx, pdf, or txt
    44 views3 pages

    A Course On Listening. Are You A Good Communicator?

    Uploaded by

    Theuns Schoeman
    This document discusses the importance of listening skills for effective communication. It argues that listening is the missing link in communication and defines listening as becoming silent so you can understand others' perspectives emotionally. It provides several examples of what listening is not, such as interrupting, formulating responses instead of listening, and finishing other people's sentences. The document recommends attending to the speaker, acknowledging their perspective, clarifying understanding, and responding rather than reacting to improve listening skills and relationships.

    Copyright:

    Attribution Non-Commercial (BY-NC)
    Download as DOCX, PDF, TXT or read online from Scribd
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    A course on Listening.

    Are you a good communicator?

    We hope to answer the following question by the end of this article, and that is: Are you a good
    communicator? We suggest that you decide now already on what your answer is and then review it
    and the end. Communication skills give you the ability to parenthood, to sell, to work and by
    improving it you can have stronger relations ships with your Boss, wife, children, friends etc.
    Remembers the quality of your life depends on the quality of your relationships. Low quality
    relationship = low quality of life and high quality relationship = high quality life. The quality of
    your relationship depends on the quality of your communication skills. The missing link in
    communication is listening! The word listen also spells silent which means that you need to become
    silent if you want to be a good communicator, i.e. first become a good listener. Listen also spells the
    word enlists which means getting emotionally involved. Think about your relationships with your
    wife, your boss, your friends, emotionally isn’t it.

    Listen – Silent –Enlist.

    We purely going to help you to do things you already know and make you aware of them:

    We start off with one of the biggest principles applied to business. The question to ask is; what is the
    function of a business? Most people will answer, to make money. The answer is not to make money
    but to get and keep customers. The goal in business is to make money. Confusing this two will lead
    to bankruptcy. The focus is therefore on your customers and not to make money. Become a curious
    person to become a good listener and serve the customer, whether he is right or wrong, go out of
    you way to keep him.

    In order for us to understand what listening is we first need to understand what it is not?

    Listening is not?

    a) ATM (Automatic talking machine) habit. Not listening to others and instead working on your
    own story which will have more impact as yours is 10 times better. Do not do this because
    yourself discipline must step in and rather keep quite. Give the credit to the other person
    and let him feel good, this way you will earn his credibility and respect.
    b) FAR Problem (Formulating a response) While you are busy with this, the other person will
    pick this up and you will lose credibility.
    c) Sentencing: Finish other people’s sentences because you think you know what they are
    going to say. This person may be a slow talker but that does not make him less intelligent or
    you cleverer. Maybe he is more selective with his choice of words. Will you like it if
    someone does it to you?
    d) Mr. & Mrs. Fix it. Do not solve the other person’s problem by giving him advice, but rather
    sympathize or encourage him. Only speak if your opinion is asked.
    e) Doesn’t worry be happy response – This is a response of not listening. Re insure the person
    that he is capable to do the task and that he is good at what he is doing. Encourage him.
    Telling a person not to worry will make him worry more as he might feel that he is not good
    enough to do the job as he know that he is worrying.
    f) Playing God. It is not your job to determine as to whom, what etc is either right or wrong.
    You are not a judge and neither did this person asked you to be the judge. Making a
    comment and the wrong direction will cause more harm than good. Do you want to be right
    or do you want to be happy?
    g) Listening is not hearing. Hearing is non-volunteering and occurs with your ears whereas
    listening is selective and occurs with your mind, heart and spirit. Hearing is easy but listening
    takes effort. With hearing you do not have to care but with listening that is what you do, you
    care. You can hear someone and repeat the words without listening to him and without
    caring.

    Karl Rodgers in his book “On Becoming a Person” said Listening is the most powerful force we know
    for altering the basic personality structure of the individual in improving his relationships and his
    communication with others. If I can listen to what he tell me and if I can understand how it seems to
    him, if I can see the personal meaning for him, if I can sense the emotional flavour it has for him ,
    then I can unleash potent forces of change in him.

    Communication is like an iceberg you say 10% but mean 90%. Through proper listening this can be
    revealed. Hearing is only 10% listening the 90%

    Meaning is not contained in the words, see the following meaning with the emphasis every time on
    a different word the meaning of the sentence completely change. This difference can only be picked
    up through listening.

    I Love You.

    I Love You!

    I Love You!

    I Love You?

    Three words and four different meanings every time!

    Now, how do we become better listeners?

    There is a 2 step module for better communication and this is the easy one, Ask –Listen, Ask – Listen.

    The more complicated one is Attend, Acknowledge, Clarify and Respond all occurring at the same
    time.

    a) Attend -You are present in the communication and need to pay attention in the moment to
    the person. Factors preventing you from paying attention are external and internal. External
    is noise, environment etc. Internal is preparing what to say next, my own thoughts,
    assumptions and my own pains in my body. Set yourself aside to listen to the person you are
    in discussion with. Allow him to finish and listen. Do not interrupt.
    b) Acknowledge -Recognise and validate that the other person is important. When the other
    person is finish, you have to “pause” sensing that what he said forces you to think deeper.
    This pause can be long. Do not answer straight away.
    Other ideas, oh I never thought of it or well that’s a good idea.
    c) Clarify –Ensure that you are on the same wavelength. Respond to the wrong message ends
    up catastrophically. Say to the person, what I hear you say is...and repeat in your own words
    what you have heard. Also try, can you elaborate on that specific issue again as I did not
    understood it or heard it properly, or can you repeat what you said there? Make sure that
    you know what you are going to respond too.
    d) Respond – Response is not reaction. You do not have to have all the answers. If you do not
    know say so. Say I will find out. Make suggestions. Ask for his response. What do you think
    what should happen.

    With the above in action you will become a good listener which will lead to a good
    husband/Wife, a good parent, a successful business entrepreneur and an outstanding salesman .

    Written by Theuns Schoeman .

    Recognition: No man is an Island so on this particular project special thanks are given to Steve
    Shapiro .

    Visit us at:

    http://www.poortowhealthy.com

    http://www.nutrition-tools.com

    http://www.selectedforu.com

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