7 habits of highly effective people:

Inside-Out:  The Change Starts from Within

While working on his doctorate in the 1970's, Stephen R. Covey reviewed 200 years of
literature on success. He noticed that since the 1920's, success writings have focused on
solutions to specific problems. In some cases such tactical advice may have been
effective, but only for immediate issues and not for the long-term, underlying ones. The
success literature of the last half of the 20th century largely attributed success to
personality traits, skills, techniques, maintaining a positive attitude, etc. This philosophy
can be referred to as the Personality Ethic.

However, during the 150 years or so that preceded that period, the literature on success
was more character oriented. It emphasized the deeper principles and foundations of
success. This philosophy is known as the Character Ethic, under which success is
attributed more to underlying characteristics such as integrity, courage, justice, patience,
etc.

The elements of the Character Ethic are primary traits while those of the Personality
Ethic are secondary. While secondary traits may help one to play the game to succeed in
some specific circumstances, for long-term success both are necessary. One's character is
what is most visible in long-term relationships. Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, "What
you are shouts so loudly in my ears I cannot hear what you say."

To illustrate the difference between primary and secondary traits, Covey offers the
following example. Suppose you are in Chicago and are using a map to find a particular
destination in the city. You may have excellent secondary skills in map reading and
navigation, but will never find your destination if you are using a map of Detroit. In this
example, getting the right map is a necessary primary element before your secondary
skills can be used effectively.
 The problem with relying on the Personality Ethic is that unless the basic underlying
paradigms are right, simply changing outward behavior is not effective. We see the world
based on our perspective, which can have a dramatic impact on the way we perceive
things. For example, many experiments have been conducted in which two groups of
people are shown two different drawings. One group is shown, for instance, a drawing of
a young, beautiful woman and the other group is shown a drawing of an old, frail woman.
After the initial exposure to the pictures, both groups are shown one picture of a more
abstract drawing. This drawing actually contains the elements of both the young and the
old woman. Almost invariably, everybody in the group that was first shown the young
woman sees a young woman in the abstract drawing, and those who were shown the old
woman see an old woman. Each group was convinced that it had objectively evaluated
the drawing. The point is that we see things not as they are, but as we are conditioned to
see them. Once we understand the importance of our past conditioning, we can
experience a paradigm shift in the way we see things. To make large changes in our lives,
we must work on the basic paradigms through which we see the world.

The Character Ethic assumes that there are some absolute principles that exist in all
human beings. Some examples of such principles are fairness, honesty, integrity, human
dignity, quality, potential, and growth. Principles contrast with practices in that practices
are for specific situations whereas principles have universal application.

The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People presents an "inside-out" approach to

effectiveness that is centered on principles and character. Inside-out means that the
change starts within oneself. For many people, this approach represents a paradigm shift
away from the Personality Ethic and toward the Character Ethic.

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

Habit 1 : Be Proactive
Your life doesn't just "happen." Whether you know it or not, it is carefully designed by
you. The choices, after all, are yours. You choose happiness. You choose sadness. You
choose decisiveness. You choose ambivalence. You choose success. You choose failure.
You choose courage. You choose fear. Just remember that every moment, every situation,
provides a new choice. And in doing so, it gives you a perfect opportunity to do things
differently to produce more positive results.

Habit 1: Be Proactive is about taking responsibility for your life. You can't keep blaming
everything on your parents or grandparents. Proactive people recognize that they are
"response-able." They don't blame genetics, circumstances, conditions, or conditioning
for their behavior. They know they choose their behavior. Reactive people, on the other
hand, are often affected by their physical environment. They find external sources to
blame for their behavior. If the weather is good, they feel good. If it isn't, it affects their
attitude and performance, and they blame the weather. All of these external forces act as
stimuli that we respond to. Between the stimulus and the response is your greatest
power--you have the freedom to choose your response. One of the most important things
you choose is what you say. Your language is a good indicator of how you see yourself.
A proactive person uses proactive language--I can, I will, I prefer, etc. A reactive person
uses reactive language--I can't, I have to, if only. Reactive people believe they are not
responsible for what they say and do--they have no choice.

Instead of reacting to or worrying about conditions over which they have little or no
control, proactive people focus their time and energy on things they can control. The
problems, challenges, and opportunities we face fall into two areas--Circle of Concern
and Circle of Influence.

Proactive people focus their efforts on their Circle of Influence. They work on the things
they can do something about: health, children, problems at work. Reactive people focus
their efforts in the Circle of Concern--things over which they have little or no control: the
national debt, terrorism, the weather. Gaining an awareness of the areas in which we
expend our energies in is a giant step in becoming proactive.

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind
So, what do you want to be when you grow up? That question may appear a little trite,
but think about it for a moment. Are you--right now--who you want to be, what you
dreamed you'd be, doing what you always wanted to do? Be honest. Sometimes people
find themselves achieving victories that are empty--successes that have come at the
expense of things that were far more valuable to them. If your ladder is not leaning
against the right wall, every step you take gets you to the wrong place faster.

Habit 2 is based on imagination--the ability to envision in your mind what you cannot at
present see with your eyes. It is based on the principle that all things are created twice.
There is a mental (first) creation, and a physical (second) creation. The physical creation
follows the mental, just as a building follows a blueprint. If you don't make a conscious
effort to visualize who you are and what you want in life, then you empower other people
and circumstances to shape you and your life by default. It's about connecting again with
your own uniqueness and then defining the personal, moral, and ethical guidelines within
which you can most happily express and fulfill yourself. Begin with the End in Mind
means to begin each day, task, or project with a clear vision of your desired direction and
destination, and then continue by flexing your proactive muscles to make things happen.

One of the best ways to incorporate Habit 2 into your life is to develop a Personal
Mission Statement. It focuses on what you want to be and do. It is your plan for success.
It reaffirms who you are, puts your goals in focus, and moves your ideas into the real
world. Your mission statement makes you the leader of your own life. You create your
own destiny and secure the future you envision.

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

Habit 3: Put First Things First
To live a more balanced existence, you have to recognize that not doing everything that
comes along is okay. There's no need to overextend yourself. All it takes is realizing that
it's all right to say no when necessary and then focus on your highest priorities.

Habit 1 says, "You're in charge. You're the creator." Being proactive is about choice.
Habit 2 is the first, or mental, creation. Beginning with the End in Mind is about vision.
Habit 3 is the second creation, the physical creation. This habit is where Habits 1 and 2
come together. It happens day in and day out, moment-by-moment. It deals with many of
the questions addressed in the field of time management. But that's not all it's about.
Habit 3 is about life management as well--your purpose, values, roles, and priorities.
What are "first things?" First things are those things you, personally, find of most worth.
If you put first things first, you are organizing and managing time and events according to
the personal priorities you established in Habit 2.

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

Habit 4: Think Win-Win

Think Win-Win isn't about being nice, nor is it a quick-fix technique. It is a character-
based code for human interaction and collaboration.

Most of us learn to base our self-worth on comparisons and competition. We think about
succeeding in terms of someone else failing--that is, if I win, you lose; or if you win, I
lose. Life becomes a zero-sum game. There is only so much pie to go around, and if you
get a big piece, there is less for me; it's not fair, and I'm going to make sure you don't get
anymore. We all play the game, but how much fun is it really?

Win-win sees life as a cooperative arena, not a competitive one. Win-win is a frame of
mind and heart that constantly seeks mutual benefit in all human interactions. Win-win
means agreements or solutions are mutually beneficial and satisfying. We both get to eat
the pie, and it tastes pretty darn good!

A person or organization that approaches conflicts with a win-win attitude possesses

three vital character traits:

1. Integrity: sticking with your true feelings, values, and commitments

2. Maturity: expressing your ideas and feelings with courage and consideration for
the ideas and feelings of others
3. Abundance Mentality: believing there is plenty for everyone

Many people think in terms of either/or: either you're nice or you're tough. Win-win
requires that you be both. It is a balancing act between courage and consideration. To go
for win-win, you not only have to be empathic, but you also have to be confident. You
not only have to be considerate and sensitive, you also have to be brave. To do that--to
achieve that balance between courage and consideration--is the essence of real maturity
and is fundamental to win-win.

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

Habit 5: Seek First to Understand
Then to Be Understood
Communication is the most important skill in life. You spend years learning how to read
and write, and years learning how to speak. But what about listening? What training have
you had that enables you to listen so you really, deeply understand another human being?
Probably none, right?

If you're like most people, you probably seek first to be understood; you want to get your
point across. And in doing so, you may ignore the other person completely, pretend that
you're listening, selectively hear only certain parts of the conversation or attentively focus
on only the words being said, but miss the meaning entirely. So why does this happen?
Because most people listen with the intent to reply, not to understand. You listen to
yourself as you prepare in your mind what you are going to say, the questions you are
going to ask, etc. You filter everything you hear through your life experiences, your
frame of reference. You check what you hear against your autobiography and see how it
measures up. And consequently, you decide prematurely what the other person means
before he/she finishes communicating. Do any of the following sound familiar?

"Oh, I know just how you feel. I felt the same way." "I had that same thing happen to
me." "Let me tell you what I did in a similar situation."

Because you so often listen autobiographically, you tend to respond in one of four ways:
Evaluating: You judge and then either agree or disagree.
Probing: You ask questions from your own frame of reference.
Advising: You give counsel, advice, and solutions to problems.
Interpreting:You analyze others' motives and behaviors based on your own experiences.

You might be saying, "Hey, now wait a minute. I'm just trying to relate to the person by
drawing on my own experiences. Is that so bad?" In some situations, autobiographical
responses may be appropriate, such as when another person specifically asks for help
from your point of view or when there is already a very high level of trust in the
relationship.

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

Habit 6: Synergize
To put it simply, synergy means "two heads are better than one." Synergize is the habit of
creative cooperation. It is teamwork, open-mindedness, and the adventure of finding new
solutions to old problems. But it doesn't just happen on its own. It's a process, and
through that process, people bring all their personal experience and expertise to the table.
Together, they can produce far better results that they could individually. Synergy lets us
discover jointly things we are much less likely to discover by ourselves. It is the idea that
the whole is greater than the sum of the parts. One plus one equals three, or six, or sixty--
you name it.

When people begin to interact together genuinely, and they're open to each other's
influence, they begin to gain new insight. The capability of inventing new approaches is
increased exponentially because of differences.

Valuing differences is what really drives synergy. Do you truly value the mental,
emotional, and psychological differences among people? Or do you wish everyone would
just agree with you so you could all get along? Many people mistake uniformity for
unity; sameness for oneness. One word--boring! Differences should be seen as strengths,
not weaknesses. They add zest to life.

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw
Sharpen the Saw means preserving and enhancing the greatest asset you have--you. It
means having a balanced program for self-renewal in the four areas of your life: physical,
social/emotional, mental, and spiritual. Here are some examples of activities:
Physical: Beneficial eating, exercising, and resting
Social/Emotional: Making social and meaningful connections with others
Mental: Learning, reading, writing, and teaching
Spiritual: Spending time in nature, expanding spiritual self through
meditation, music, art, prayer, or service

As you renew yourself in each of the four areas, you create growth and change in your
life. Sharpen the Saw keeps you fresh so you can continue to practice the other six habits.
You increase your capacity to produce and handle the challenges around you. Without
this renewal, the body becomes weak, the mind mechanical, the emotions raw, the spirit
insensitive, and the person selfish. Not a pretty picture, is it?

Feeling good doesn't just happen. Living a life in balance means taking the necessary
time to renew yourself. It's all up to you. You can renew yourself through relaxation. Or
you can totally burn yourself out by overdoing everything. You can pamper yourself
mentally and spiritually. Or you can go through life oblivious to your well-being. You
can experience vibrant energy. Or you can procrastinate and miss out on the benefits of
good health and exercise. You can revitalize yourself and face a new day in peace and
harmony. Or you can wake up in the morning full of apathy because your get-up-and-go
has got-up-and-gone. Just remember that every day provides a new opportunity for
renewal--a new opportunity to recharge yourself instead of hitting the wall. All it takes is
the desire, knowledge, and skill.

Conclusion:

The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People has solid advice for improving your life.
Some people might feel the lessons and suggestions are obvious. That may be true, but
the book is highly readable, and from time-to-time, we might all need to be reminded of
the obvious. Often, success and happiness hinges upon the obvious. And, motivating
oneself to do the obvious isn't always trivial. Covey does an outstanding job of
demonstrating his lessons of personal success with practical examples of real people
trying to improve their lives.

While we really like the book, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, we are less
enthusiastic about Seven Habits: The Industry. At the end of the book, Covey writes,
"Seven habits products and programs provide a wide range of resources for the
empowerment of individuals, families, business and nonprofit and educational
organizations, including: