Situación 2 - A Kindred Spirit

A Kindred Spirit
ma E DAA An
A KINDRED SPIRIT Cheryl McCoy, MSN, ENP-BC
Abstract
This story is a reflection of a nursing experience that made the greatest impact in my life.
The set of principles underlying this story and poem are grounded in the relationship not
only between a family nurse practitioner and a patient, but also in the relationship between
a mother and daughter impacted by breast cancer. The poem “A Kindred Spirit” tvinds its
way through the story. It is my desire that through this story fellow nurses may visit their
own nursing, and reflect upon the deeper meanings in the way they provide care
Story
The first time I saw her in a rural clinic was in spring, 2002 where I was working on my
clinical hours as a family nurse practitioner (FNP) student. She had undergone a
hysterectomy approximately 25 years before and was a year past due for her annual pap
smear, breast exam, and mammogram. As she lay on the table and I began her breast exam,
1 palpated a large mass on her right breast. The mass was approximately 2 cm diameter
and hard to the touch. “How long have you had this mass?” 1 asked. Her response : E
was simple. “P've had it for a while but I'm A kindred spirit
taking my Vitamin E and it's going down A kindred heart
in size.” My heart sank to the ground and We always swore
I felt dizzy knowing that this was not just a We would never be apart
Approximately two weeks later, she underwent a mastectomy with lymph node biopsy.
Again, the news was not easy to hear as the disease had already metastasized
A Kindred Spirit
7 A NAAA a 3
You changed me I changed you Our lives are intertwined
to all the lymph nodes in the sample. I stood there numbly and could only look into her eyes
as she heard for herself that the road ahead was not going to be an easy one. [ remember
the look in her eyes; they were distant and hollow in disbelief. 1 could not imagine how she
must have felt.
As we make things anew
Time flew by as chemotherapy took away her hair and energy. As her hair began falling out
in large clumps, her only concern was of her grandchildren. She did not want the children
to see her without hair. The next day, she brought the children over to swim and 1 sat there
with my sheers and slowly cut a “Mr. T” along her temples. We all laughed as we took
pictures and made fun of her new hairstyle. Then 1 cut the hair from the temples to her
ears, across the back to the nape of her neck, making her a mohawk. If that was not bad
enough, we started playing tic- tac-toe in the mohawk with the shears. Over all, everyone
laughed until we hurt. With one long steady glide, I cut the rest of her hair off leaving her
bald.
Over the next couple of months, we talked often of things to be and things left undone. Her
only regret she said was that she would not have the opportunity to see her grandchildren
grow up. She said
she knew that her children would be fine. She spoke often of her grandchildren and of
the angels that were there in her presence,
At the end of the day Or the end of the night Your happiness was important
simple benign tumor. After the completed exam on her bilateral breast, l excused myself
and went to let my preceptor know what I had found. My preceptor assured me that what 1
found was not going to be something as simple as a cyst. Again, I felt dizzy and had to sit
there for a minute before I could make sense of what was happening. I never cried. 1 could
not generate the tears that I desperately had hoped for. On that day, my 18-month long
nightmare journey began.
even though there were only the two of us > LA;
in the room. She asked me one day of my e id
thoughts on the figures in the room. I told her that the angels were there to take her home.
She cried and I fought back the tears. She was shedding enough tears for the both of us and
1 needed to be strong for her.
It was 3 a.m. when 1 got the call to come to her home. Her dear family and 1 sat beside
Look down on me
One week later, 1 found myself looking at the mammogram that revealed the truth. She had
a 5 cm mass in her right breast. A referral to a surgeon for a biopsy was immediately
ordered. We talked many times about the “what ifs” and what the plans would be if the
diagnosis was truly
her bed and held her hand until she took her last breath. 1 will never forget the empty
sound in the stethoscope as I held it onto her chest. Nothing moved other than my sobs
As I look up to you Remember me As Í, will always remember you.
breast cancer. Every conversation was never easy, but I knew deep down inside that I had
to be there for her, regardless of the outcome. The day of the biopsy came and went. 1 will
never forget the words that the surgeon said
Life is never easy Life is never fair We are dealt life's hand
But always want to care
as he gave us the news: The biopsy was positive for breast cancer and the tumor was
hormone sensitive. The surgeon was very sympathetic as we both softly
cried in each other's arms.
12 | JOURNAL OF ART AND AESTHETICS IN NURSING AND HEALTH SCIENCES, Volume 1,
Number 2, Spring 2014
and the cries from her family. Ipronounced her dead at 0748 on July 3, 2003. It was only
then that l, her daughter, could let go.
So what is nursing? Nursing is placing others before yourself, being there for others, even
when your pain chokes at your throat. Nursing is loving and praying for others that you
may not even know. Nursing is holding someone's hand in their very last minute on earth.
Nursing is helping someone in their time of deepest need.
JOURNAL OF ART AND ÁESTHETICS IN NURSING AND HEALTH SCIENCES, Volume 1,
Number 2, Spring 2014 | 13

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