Macbeth

for Beginners
by
Bobbie Allen MacNiven-Young
Macbeth for Beginners

Scene One:
Macbeth and Banquo are riding home after a very successful battle with the Norwegians, during which
Macbeth has killed practically all of them single handedly.

1st Witch: Yo, Macbeth, Thane of Glamis! [pronounced Glar-ms]

2nd Witch: Yo, Macbeth, Thane of Cawdor! [pronounced Cor-dor]

3rd Witch: Yo, Macbeth, You. Are. Going. To. Be. King!

The witches disappear

Macbeth: Eh? What the 'ell was that all about?

Banquo: Dunno, mate! Apparently, you’re going to be king.

Macbeth: And Thane of Cawdor…

Banquo: Yeah, well, as far as I know, the Thane of Cawdor and the King are both very
much alive and doing their jobs perfectly adequately!

Macbeth: Who were those women, anyway?

Banquo: Dunno, mate, but they’re obviously weird.

Macbeth: Totally bonkers as well. Ah, well.

A soldier rides up on his horse

Soldier: Yo, Macbeth, Thane of Cawdor.

Macbeth: No, I’m the Thane of Glamis.

Ross: Well, you’re now the Thane of Cawdor as well. The King’s just had the Thane of
Cawdor tried for treason, and he’s about to be hanged from the Castle tower, so
you've got the job.

Ross rides off, leaving Macbeth and Banquo gobsmacked.

Macbeth: Uuuummmmm. Righteeo, then.

Banquo: Mmm. Interesting.

Macbeth: You don’t think…?

Banquo: What?

Macbeth: Nothing. Come on. Let’s get back to camp.

Scene Two:
Lady Macbeth is reading a letter she has received from Macbeth

Lady Macbeth: (Reads aloud)

“My dearest wife, You’ll never guess what happened to me today on the way back
from the war with the Norwegians! Some witches rocked up to me and Banquo and
told me I was the Thane of Glamis, which is true, but then they said I was the
Thane of Cawdor and then, they told me I was going to be king! I would have taken
no notice of them, but then a soldier came up to me and told me that I was taking
over as Thane of Cawdor, because the Thane of Cawdor had turned traitor and
had been hanged! Couldn’t believe it! Banquo was with me, and he couldn’t believe
it either. What d’you think of that then! Anyway, this is just a short note to let you
know that King Duncan’s coming to stay as soon as I get back from Battle Camp,
so can you prepare the guest quarters, please? Thanks. See you soon, Love you!
Macbeth”

Well. Well, well, well. If the witches say you’re going to be king, then king you
must be! And with Duncan coming to stay here, it couldn’t be easier! I know
you’re too much of a wimp to take the obvious option, so I’ll just have to convince
you we can do it. You will be king. Oh yes, you will be king.

Scene Three:
The Macbeths are having a big party to celebrate Duncan’s arrival at their castle
Macbeth is having a quiet moment

Macbeth: Right. If I’m going to kill him, I want it over and done with, no messing. Thing is
though, it’s not just the killing him, is it? There’s a lot of stuff to consider. There
would be consequences and I’d feel guilty. It’s just not worth the hassle. I’d always
be thinking about what I’d done. Besides, Duncan is my King. I should be looking
out for him. Making sure no-one’s after him, not planning to kill him myself. He
trusts me. I can’t do it. I won’t do it. I can’t. I won’t. I shouldn’t…

Enter Lady Macbeth

Lady Macbeth: Right, so, I’m going to drug the servants, and then you can go into Duncan’s room,
and kill him.

Macbeth: I’m not so sure, honey. I mean, Duncan’s a really nice person. I like him a lot, and
he’s always been really good to me. He made me Thane of Cawdor, remember. He
trusts me. I can’t go and kill him. Besides, everyone loves him. They’d all be really
upset!

Lady Macbeth: I thought you wanted to be king!

Macbeth: Well, obviously I do, but…

Lady Macbeth: Oh, don’t be such a wuss! Honestly! You were all for this before he arrived! You
promised you'd do it. What’s changed? Were you just going along with it to shut
me up?

Macbeth: No, no, it’s just…

Lady Macbeth: Just what exactly? Listen, if we had had a baby, and I’d promised you I would kill
it, I would pull its gums from my breast as it fed on my milk, and I would smash its
brains out on the floor if I had promised you I'd do it... I swear I would, if I had
sworn a promise to do it. Just like you promised to kill Duncan!

Macbeth looks a bit miserable

Lady Macbeth: Look, it’s going to be so easy! I’ll drug Duncan’s servants, and when you hear me
ring the bell once, you’ll know it’s all clear to go in and knife him. Duncan. No-one
will know!

Macbeth: But how will I become king, anyway? Malcolm was named as the successor to the
throne today, if his father dies.

Lady Macbeth: The prophecies say you will be king. The witches said, so it must be true. It’ll be
ok. Listen to me, go and be a host to your king. Be all happy and smiley. But
underneath your smile, remember, you will kill him tonight, and you will become
king. Go on. Leave everything else to me.

Scene Four:
Macbeth is hanging about outside Duncan’s bedroom

Macbeth: Is this a dagger I see before me, the handle pointing into my hand? Does this mean
I should go through with it, or what? Is this a real dagger, or a vision, teasing me? I
don’t know what to do. Oh, this is just too MUCH!

He tries to catch hold of the dagger

No. Not a real dagger. It’s my mind playing tricks on me. Hang on, it’s moving.
Moving towards Duncan’s room. What does this mean? It’s got blood on it now! It
looks exactly like the dagger I’ve got in my hand. I think it wants me to follow it…
I can’t! I can’t do it!

But he does. He goes into Duncan’s room and kills him

Scene Five:
Macbeth and Lady Macbeth meet in the castle courtyard. They are both a bit agitated

Macbeth: Did you say something?

Lady Macbeth: When?

Macbeth: Just now.

Lady Macbeth: As I came down the stairs?

Macbeth: Yes.

Lady Macbeth: No.

She notices that he still has the dagger in his hand

Lady Macbeth: What d’you bring that out with you for!!!

Macbeth: Eh? What…oh, I don’t know!

Lady Macbeth: Take it back into the room and leave it there!

Macbeth: I am not going back in there!

Lady Macbeth: You have to take that dagger back! Oh give it here! For heaven’s sake!

She goes upstairs.

Macbeth starts trying to wash his hands in the courtyard well. There is a lot of blood
Lady Macbeth returns, also covered in blood.

Lady Macbeth: I smeared some of Duncan’s blood on his servants. With any luck, they’ll be
blamed. My goodness, I never would have thought the old man would have so
much blood in him. Budge up, so I can wash my hands.

Macbeth: Our hands will never be clean again.

Lady Macbeth: Oh, don’t be so daft! You're being all overdramatic again. A little water…wash
wash wash, good as new.

There is a great knocking at the door of the castle

Macbeth: Who’s that!

Lady Macbeth: Don’t panic. The porter will get it. Go up to bed, put on your night things and come
when you’re called. No-one will be any the wiser. Go on. GO!

Scene six:
The porter answers the door. It is Macduff, a good friend of the king.
Macbeth comes down in his dressing gown.

Macduff: Is he up? We’re going riding.

Macbeth: No, not yet.

Macduff runs upstairs to go and wake Duncan

A great shout is heard throughout the castle

Macduff: O horror horror horror!

Macbeth: What? What’s up?

Macduff: The king! The king!

Macbeth: The king what?

Macduff: He’s dead!

Macbeth races up to Duncan’s room
Enter Lady Macbeth, also in her nightwear

Lady Macbeth: What’s going on?

Macduff: The King’s been murdered.

Lady Macbeth: What, in our house?

Macduff: It doesn’t matter where! It’s awful! Awful!

Re-enter Macbeth

Macbeth: The servants! They were… I’ve killed them.

Lady Macbeth faints

Scene Seven
Macbeth has been crowned King
He and Lady Macbeth hold a big party to celebrate
Banquo is preparing to go out riding

Macbeth: Can’t believe Malcolm and Donalbain, running away like that. Anyone would think
they’d killed their father.

Banquo: Hmmm. And now you’re King. Just like the witches said.

Macbeth: Yes. Funny that.

Banquo: Yes. Funny that.

Macbeth: Where you off, anyway?

Banquo: Fleance and I are off riding.

Macbeth: Ah. You’ll be back in time for the party, though, eh?

Banquo: Yeah. Probably.

Macbeth: You must be back in time! You’re my best friend. Guest of honour.

Banquo goes off riding with his son, Fleance

Macbeth: Yo! Murderers!

Three murderers appear

Macbeth: Banquo’s been saying things about me behind my back. He’s not loyal.

Murderer #1: That’s not on.

Murderer #2: We’ll get him for you. Traitorous swine!

Macbeth: Would you? I'd be ever so grateful. Can't have traitors swanning about the place
saying traitorous things willy nilly.

The murderers set off after Banquo

Enter Lady Macbeth

Lady Macbeth: Banquo is getting suspicious.

Macbeth: It’s ok. I’ve sorted it.

Scene eight

Banquo is brutally murdered by the three murderers

Scene nine

The Macbeths’ party is in full swing.

Macbeth is talking to the murderers before going into the party room.

Macbeth: Is he dead?

Muderer #1: Aye.

Macbeth: Fleance?

Muderer #1: He escaped.

Macbeth: Damn! Ok. Go. Go, and tell no-one.

Macbeth joins the party

Macduff: Where’s Banquo, Macbeth?

Macbeth: He should be here. He went out riding. Hasn’t come back though.

Macduff: Oh.

Macbeth: Right, let’s get this party started. Where shall I sit? There doesn’t seem to be a
place for me.

Ross: Here my Lord. There’s a place here.

Macbeth looks to where Ross is pointing. He can see someone sitting on the chair, though.

Macbeth: There…is…someone already sitting there.

Ross looks a bit puzzled. The chair is empty

However, Macbeth can see someone sitting there. The person he can see turns round. It is Banquo, in
ghost form, with blood all over him.

Macbeth: Who has done this!

Ross: What, my Lord?

Macbeth: Don’t you shake your bloody head at me!

Ross: What’s up, my Lord?

Lady Macbeth: Sirs, my husband is obviously tired...he sometimes feels a fever, quite suddenly,
when he’s stressed…

Macbeth: Go away! Go away!

Banquo’s ghost smiles, then laughs. Macbeth moves backwards, trips and falls

Lady Macbeth: Sirs, my husband is not well. Please leave us.

Everyone gets up and leaves, a bit puzzled

Macbeth: Banquo…he's laughing at me…he's a ghost! Blood…so much blood. I can’t…

Lady Macbeth: Pull yourself together! You might just have well have stuck a big sign above your
head going, “I did it! I did it! I killed Banquo and now his ghost has come back to
haunt me, and oh, by the way, I killed Duncan as well!” For heaven’s sake, man, do
you want to lose everything we’ve worked for? Banquo’s ghost was NOT at this
party. It’s just like that dagger you said you saw just before you killed Duncan.
You’re hallucinating again.

Macbeth: We haven’t worked for anything! We killed for it.

Lady Macbeth: Oh, shut up, and get it together. You made a right idiot of yourself tonight, but I
think I managed to fool them. Go to bed, and get some sleep.

Macbeth: I couldn’t sleep! Oh, this is awful I wish we’d never…

Lady Macbeth: Well, we have. No point in going over stuff we can’t change.

Scene ten
The witches meet once more

1st witch: How’s it going with Macbeth?

2nd Witch: Brilliant. He’s really fallen for it. Well hooked.

1st Witch: Enjoying it?

2nd Witch: Absolutely. Best yet.

1st Witch: Cool.

Enter Macbeth

Macbeth: You’ve got to help me. Show me what happens next…tell me everything’s going to
be alright.
2nd Witch: Drink this.

1st Witch: And see!

Macbeth drinks a strange potion

2nd Witch: Beware Macduff!

3rd Witch: No man born of a woman can harm Macbeth!

1st Witch: Macbeth shall not be defeated until Birnam Wood starts walking towards
Dunsinane!

Macbeth: Hmmm…Beware Macduff. Ok. Thanks for the warning, but if no man born of a
woman can harm me, and Macduff’s a man, what's to be afraid of? And I never
heard of a wood walking toward any castle before, let alone Birnam coming
towards mine, so I should be alright there as well. Thanks, girls!

But the witches have gone…

Scene eleven

Macduff’s castle.
Lady Macduff is with the children. Murderers come in and kill them all and then they set fire to the place

Scene twelve
England
Macduff is talking to Malcolm about Macbeth

Macduff: No, something’s not quite right. Not quite right at all. He’s changed.

Malcolm: He’s not fit to rule Scotland, that’s for sure.

Enter Ross

Ross: Sir! Your wife and children have all been killed. Word is, Macbeth had them
murdered.

Macduff: What, all my little ones? Murdered?!

Malcolm: I’ve got an army ready.

Macduff: Then we will fight. Macbeth better watch out. We’re coming to get him.

Scene thirteen

A Doctor has been called to the castle to see to Lady Macbeth, who is behaving rather strangely

Doctor: How long has she been like this?

Maid: A few days. She just won’t stop washing her hands. I don’t know if she’s awake or
asleep, and she keeps muttering over and over to herself. I think she’s gone a bit
loopy, to be honest with you, sir.

Doctor: Hmmm.

Lady Macbeth is sitting at her dressing table.

Her eyes are wide open, but it doesn’t look like she can see anything.

Lady Macbeth: Out, damned spot! Why won’t this spot wash off? I can’t get his blood off my
fingers…was that a bell? It’s time. Time. The Thane of Fife had a wife… where is
she now? Shush, my Lord! Don’t say anything else, or they might suspect us. I can
smell blood. Perfume won’t get rid of the smell! Ooooooohhhhhhh!

Doctor: Well, I can’t do anything about this. She’s too far gone. I have heard, though, that
people who are affected like this sometimes just die in their sleep. Let her go to
bed, and remove all sharp objects from the room.

Exit Doctor

Maid: Oh. Yeah. Thanks. Very helpful!

Scene fouteen

Macbeth is mooching about the castle.

A servant comes in

Macbeth: What is it?

Servant: There’s an army. An army, sir, coming this way.

Macbeth: So? I have nothing to be afraid of. No man can harm me, and the forest isn’t
moving, is it?

Servant: Uhng?????

Macbeth: Well, is it???

Servant: Um…no. Just the entire English army.

Macbeth: Oh, bog off! SEYTON!!!!

Enter Seyton

Macbeth: How’s my wife?

Seyton: Dead, sir. Chucked herself off the castle tower about half an hour ago.

Macbeth: Oh. Well, she would have died soon enough anyway.
Scene fifteen

Malcolm’s army is in Birnam Wood

Malcolm: That’s it, stick bits of tree all over you. Camouflage, like. That’s it. He’ll never see
us coming.

Scene sixteen

Macbeth is preparing for battle

Servant: Sir! Sir! You know that forest that I said wasn’t moving before? Well, it’s moving
now!!

Macbeth: Don’t be daft!

He looks. It does, indeed look as if Birnam Wood is moving towards the castle

Macbeth: Just like the witches said….oh poo. Never mind. No man born of a woman can
harm me.

The army arrives

Macbeth: Macduff! Macduff! This is a pointless battle! No man born of a woman can harm
me, you know.

Macduff: Well, I was born by caesarean section, so, technically, I wasn’t born! I was ripped
out of my mother, so there.

They fight
Macbeth is killed

All: Hurrah! Now Malcolm can be King, like he was supposed to be! Hurrah!

The End.