Relationship Synastry

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Relating: Table for Two

We all participate in relations with another. The
situation certainly isn't confined to romantic
attraction. Consider also relations between parent
and child, two friends or business partners, between
various relatives or even yourself and your dog.
Relating close-up is one of the major learning
experiences of life. Beings get together for all kinds of
reasons that may or may not include "strings
attached". Someone might have a unique style,
stability of nature or talent that another feels they
lack and therefore need to obtain elsewhere.
Sometimes two people get together to work out issues
stemming from childhood conditioning or abuse; one
may have something to teach the other or the other is
simply a worthy opponent. Sometimes the principle of
karma and past lives of prior contact really does
provide a useful explanation for why two otherwise
disparate souls are brought together to experience
each other for a time. However there is no such thing
as a looming difficulty that is really all "the other
guy's fault"; each being with whom we relate also
functions as a mirror, reflecting back to us aspects of
ourself, whether conscious or unconscious. It can be
through those more difficult contacts with others that
reveal parts of self we have disowned, or that which
we might have a distorted judgement; likewise biases,
ignorance, emotional baggage, even disowned talents
and skills can be presented to us through the lense of
those with whom we dance.
In astrology, looking at the planetary contacts between two natal charts can
provide a great deal of information towards understanding and working with the
potentials, challenges and themes of relationship expressed therein. We can see
whether there is potential for ongoing inspiration and creative growth through
inter-supportive partnership, but also where old family-based patterns and
tendencys towards aggression, control, emotional turmoil, repression, boredom
and growing apart over time may be factors to consider. No relationship is
perfect; knowing the strengths and weaknesses of a bond can help two people
participate with better awareness and flexibility in those areas in life that not
only may call for healing of past karmic conditions, but also point the way
towards evolutionary growth and realization of the best in personal character.
In romantic liaisons, passion explodes and we want to know if what we feel is real
or just an infatuation. Goals in life, values, the handling of emotions, educational
level and social status can matter greatly in determining the chances of
partnership success. In some cases, family ties, educational level, religious or
career expectations can carry great weight. Will the togetherness still be there in
the future? Does the other have what it takes to honor a long-term commitment?
Do the two of us have enough in common to keep our bonds warm and alive, even
when the going gets rough? What if someone has years of loyalty put into a
partnership that is going through a difficult phase; are matters going to improve
or is it better to cut and run? What if a partnership is founded on compulsion,
fear of loneliness or money concerns?
Issues of interest in a romantic synestry reading might include:
Dynamic aspects between each person's Sun (essential self) and Moon
(emotion/feeling, security needs, the past). Classic indicators for long-term
relations include harmonious Sun-Moon aspects between two, or one person's
Sun or Moon resting on an angle of the other's chart. However some
partnerships that thrive the longest have Sun and/or Moon in hard therefore
challenging aspect to one another; inferring that each can act as a
provocateur, dominator or teacher to the other, in effect stimulating
continual growth instead of allowing much rest in a comfortable old shoe.

Venus (attraction, sensuality, desire, pleasure) and Mars (drive, libido, will,
getting what you want) vibrations. Not everybody wants easy-going love
(Venus trine Mars); some don't feel much grand passion unless there is combat
(Venus square Mars) involved. Couples who have Venus opposing or squaring
the other's Venus (differences in feminine ideals, desires and personal values)
or Mars square or opposing the other's Mars (differences in life goals, how
drive and desires are expressed and needs met) have their work cut out for
them in reaching cooperative agreements; however once the needs of each are
understood and engaged like gears in a clockwork, these energies can operate
as dynamos not only within the relationship but also the relationship as a
force to be reckoned with out in the world.

Issues brought forward from childhood and/or the unconscious. Indications

for deeply ingrained behavior patterns and early trauma are found in the
fourth house of root psyche and early childhood; also the eighth house of
genetic and behavioral inheritance from the ancestors and contact with the
"other side", be it the spirit world or other dimensions. Also included is the
twelfth house, which represents the collective myths and archetypes that
underlay our patterns of identity and action; also karma, bondage and self-
undoing through that which resides in the unconscious, therefore in denial.
Plan on Saturn (father, ego, authority), Moon (mother, security needs),Mars
(aggression, drive, anger,), Neptune (the astral plane, psychic ability,
scapegoating, addiction, religious inclination, compulsion, self-delusion),
Uranus (trauma, creativity, the need for freedom and independence,
alternative sexuality) and/or Pluto (trauma, abuse, death, transformation,
regeneration, power, powerlessness) being involved in some way.

The Nodes of the Moon: The Nodes are the two places, expressed as degrees
and minutes of a tropical zodiac sign, where the Moon will cross the ecliptic or
apparent path of the Sun relative to earth at a given point in time. The South
Node is where the Moon will cross as it moves from north to south of the
ecliptic; the North Node is where the Moon will cross moving from south to
north of the ecliptic. The two Nodes of the Moon are always directly opposite to
one another in space. Here is where we find those fascinating karmic
connections that whisper of soul contacts and lessons moving in a continuum
through the apparent past, present and future of linear time. The South Node
is associated with the past, including established behavior patterns,
deficiencies, talents and skills; it represents where we feel most comfortable
and safe, where its easy for us to function due to familiarity but also where we
owe service, where we must toil in some way to resolve past karmic
imbalances.

The North Node associates with path of soul growth, therefore resides in an
area of life where we are striving for new understanding and mastery.
Western astrological thought tends to favor the North Node because western
culture favors growth of all kinds and material acquisition; more is better,
etc. Whereas Eastern astrological thought associates the North Node with the
lower human traits such as greed and power-seeking, traditionally
considering the area a distraction, a way to stay trapped on the Wheel of Life
while the South Node emphasizes the spiritual life; where we will be challenged
to deal with loss and limitations that bring forth realization of spirit and
release from the wheel of karma. As relates to synestry, when one person's
planets are right next to another's nodes, the bond is sure to be complex and
magnetizing in nature. So even if the contacts are difficult, as when involving
Saturn (limitations, loss, burdens, ego) or Mars (violence), chances are the two
involved will compulsively be drawn back again and again to re-inact certain
unfinished business.

Asteroid Chiron, or themes of wounding, abandonment, the maverick or

entitlement: Chiron meanders in irregular orbit between the planets Saturn
and Uranus. As such it symbolizes "the rainbow bridge" that connects the
limitations of physical life and society with the boundless potentials of cosmic
creativity. The placement of Chiron in a natal chart can represent a place of
perennial wounding, where we are endlessly working to heal or realize success
in an area of life fraught with constant frustration and challenge. In synestry,
a Chiron contact from one individual to another's planets, especially Sun,
Moon, Venus or Mars indicates that the partner is chosen hopefully to act as a
healer or teacher to other; in the more difficult sense, someone may be tapped
for a codependant adventure instead of experiencing a rapport of mutual
parity.

Will a partner enhance our standing in career and community? Wherever a

potential partner's Saturn is placed in the other's chart is where that person
will likely have an inhibiting affect, whereas Jupiter or Venus nicely placed in
the first house of basic persona or the public houses seven through twelve can
be quite adventitious to career and community standing. A lover with many
planets in the partner's second house (money, values, self-esteem) and/or third
house (basic communications, lifestyle) can present as a user and may lack
commitment potential. Heavy planetary action involving the eighth or twelfth
house can bring out turgid drama over sex, money, power, control or other
disturbing dysfunctions that one might rather not face.
Frequently when another's Saturn or Pluto is in the partner's tenth house of
career management, the twelfth house of true profession or the sixth house of
work and health, they will in some way hamper full success in the house
affairs indicated. But a partner's Saturn placed on another's Sun and in the
company of other positive aspects can also serve as an anchor and stabilizer,
sometimes very helpful in facilitating the concrete realization of another's
creative potential. Someone's Mars (aggression, anger, the drive to dominate)
landing on another's Decendant angle or seventh house of partners and open
enemies is usually not an indicator for friendly, supportive behavior, whereas
Venus placed there can increase the desire to over-indulge, but could also
enhance the potential for financial gains through the partner.

Are belief systems and personal values similar? Here we would examine the
position and aspects of Neptune, who represents spirituality, mysticism, and
artistry but also the potential for substance abuse, unrealistic expectations
and tendency to lie. We would also purview the position and aspects made by
Jupiter, who is an indicator for organized religion, ethics, morals, dogma and
the law. Another potent indicator is Venus, who besides representing personal
values also has to do with self-esteem and how finances and assets are
managed. It's also useful to examine the house affairs covered by the signs
pertinent to these planets, including Pisces for Neptune and Jupiter,
Sagittarius for Jupiter, and Taurus and Libra for Venus.

Wealth or poverty; finances, paying bills, sharing joint finances: The second,
fourth, eighth and eleventh houses contain primary indications for money or
lack thereof. The second house is money made and assets acquired by the
individual; someone with many planets in another's second is either after the
other's money or will be a source of abundance for the other. The fourth house
indicates money made through real estate, minerals and oil or wealth of the
immediate family; the eighth is money made through extended family
connections, other people (such as corporations or institutions) or
inheritance; the eleventh is abundance to be attracted through community
connections, networking and friends. In synestry, mutual hard aspects given
some ease by harmonious aspects from the personal planets can indicate a
dynamic financial partnership; the interplay of Jupiter (over the top), Saturn
(restrictive) or Uranus (disruptive, changeable) in aspect can make the
situation more complicated and prone to stress, whether the aspects are hard
or soft. Jupiter and Venus are the classic indicators for all matters financial,
however don't discount Pluto as a power-player and Saturn for taking
responsibility. Uranus is always active in the charts of creative entrepreneurs,
and Mars provides the get up and go to compete, however Neptune is not
always grounded in reality or interested in balancing the checkbook.

Is there balance in the relationship: Or is there a giver and a taker, a teacher

and a pupil, a parent and a child; one who dominates and one who submits?
There is no such thing as a relationship of perfect equals on the earthly plane;
the interplay is meant to be dynamic, as responsibilities and needs shifted and
shared through time. Major problems develop when the partners in a mutual
play make a contract that lock each other into a static state reflective of an
unequal value in status, therefore subject to power abuse or the with holding
of funds, affection or approval by another. Once again, mutual Moon, Sun,
Mars, Saturn and the outer planets in sign and engaged by aspect can provide
much information. Another useful indicator involves the overall pattern of
planet placement both in an individual's chart and as the planetary groupings
of two person's correlate when place in synestry.

For example, an individual who has many natal planets placed very close
together tends to focus and concentrate their energy into a few key areas of
interest; they are already learning lessons of balance, as in acknowledging the
reality of the existence of other people or the value of maintaining a healthy
body. Two people with a concentration of natal planets either in the same
quadrant of the horoscope or the one right next door will have a mutual task
of achieving balance with those areas of life represented by the empty side of
the chart; there will be no relief via the other "doing it for you" in
compensation. For example what nature of creature is the mutual private life,
if one in a partnership has an intense focus into career, the other specialises in
nurturing themselves at spiritual retreats?

Another spectacular arrangement involves planets arranged as a see-saw on

two sides of the chart; for an individual this indicates a tendency to polarize
between extremes in behavior; which can be expressed by cycles of
introversion versus extroversion, interaction versus withdrawal, bi-polar
mood swings, obsessive-compulsive habits or even projecting an entire aspect
of psyche, for example emotional-feeling or creative-aggressive components,
onto others. In partnership, two people with a majority of planets occupying
either side of a see-saw or in square through synestry would commonly be
seeking to complete or heal a missing part of themselves through relationship
with the other. This dynamic often plays out as intense, compulsive attraction
in the beginning, followed by war and then repulsion in the longer haul, unless
the shadow side of what has been rejected by self is held up to the light and
integrated. Even then the relationship may not persist as the hapless other is
no longer needed as an adversary, parent, money box, exotic alien, rebel
against society, servant or burden of responsibility.

In a nutshell, the most functional relationships have many planetary aspects

between them, both hard and soft. Commonly there are two or three complex
planetary aspects present such as a t-square, mystic rectangle or grand trine,
and someone's personal planet in sextile or trine to individual planets in
opposition can oil the gears of compromise. Couples with a synestry of many
planets in one quadrant of a horoscope chart or mostly easy aspects of sextile
and trine can be great friends but are more prone to grow apart or fall prey to
boredom over time, as there is less contrast, friction and spice available to
feed the forces of Eros.

What is the extrovert-introvert blend? An introvert commonly has many

planets located in the left lower quadrant of chart; the extrovert commonly
has many located in the right upper quadrant. Most social and transpersonal
planets in one half of the chart, with all personal planets located in the other
gives an interesting picture of one who displays one sort of persona in public,
another in private. There are of course, many other aspect-sign-planet
combinations that make for sociability versus desire for a private life. Moon-
Saturn in Libra and the fourth house, for example will likely need time to
brood alone, at home but also needs the family to show up for dinner.

Speaking and listening to each other? The primary planetary indicator to use
is Mercury, which rules the facilities of thought and speech. Within a natal
chart Mercury takes on many flavors depending on the sign it is located in
natally and the aspects it makes to other planets. For example Mercury in
Pisces would rather use telepathy than words to communicate, whereas a
Gemini Mercury never shuts down the verbage.

A potential relationship can go a long way on mutual Mercuries being in good

aspect and/or sign harmony to one another, as in Mercury in Aries conjunct
(next to) another Mercury in Aries or trine to one in another fire sign (Leo or
Sagittarius). Clear communication becomes more challenging when mutual
Mercuries are antagonistic by sign, for example a heart-felt Mercury in Cancer
trying to get touchy-feeley with glacial Mercury in Aquarius as in an itchy
quincunx aspect; these arrangements indicate difficulty in meeting on the
same page let alone in the same room, or speaking in terms that are
understandable to one other. Mercuries in square or opposition to one
another tend to exchange by quarrel and quibble, or can refuse on occasion to
talk at all.

Another adventure awaits with an afflicted Mercury, as when in square or

opposition with Neptune; in a natal chart this combination is classic for one
who is prone to lie or mislead, or who is honest enough but cannot always put
what they are thinking or feeling accurately into words. This aspect occurring
between two people can be very good for making or watching movies together.
If both individuals have hard Mercury-Neptune contacts, we can hope that
both entertain the same ethics and hold the same illusions in common, not so
bad. Mercury afflicted by Uranus tends to shoot from the hip, be
argumentative and ever restless in movement; Mecury in a hard dance with
Pluto will likely be blunt and to the point, but is less likely to always consider
those sensative feelings or be much of a diplomat. Mercury in hard aspect to
Saturn or Mars in an individual's chart can make for criticism, perfectionism
or unpleasant loss of temper; in synestry with another's planets any of this
combo can set off fireworks, humiliate or inspire into action. Mix the Moon in
and we can get deeply emotional, feelings easily hurt or reversion to
unfortunate communication patterns originating in childhood, usually
involving mother.

How would children fit into the picture?? Children are ruled by the fifth house
of a horoscope chart, while indications for adopted or foster children are to be
found in the eleventh house. It is likely useful to examine the natal charts of
each person interested in partnership first, before putting the charts together
for purposes of synestry. Considered separately, a natal chart can provide
much insight into how an individual was treated as a child, the potentials for
fertility and of course themes and attitudes they would have around raising
children in general. An individual chart with hard contacts and complex
aspect patterns especially involving the fourth, fifth, eighth, tenth or eleventh
houses, or the parental signs Cancer and Capricorn prominent, likely has had
serious dealings with family matters and parental influences already.
Children brought in from a previous relationship are unique souls with their
own wants and needs; therefore a synestry comparison between the potential
parter and each child in question might provide the most useful information.
Hard aspects involving mutual Sun, Moon, Mars or Saturn could certainly
indicate some hard work ahead with personality clashes, keeping the peace or
establishing boundaries of respect. If the outer, transpersonal planets of one
individual meet in hard aspect to the personal planets of another, this can
indicate unconscious triggers operating to generate friction out of personal
interaction, that are not always fairly or easily going to be resolved. One
person's Saturn in the fifth or eleventh house of another or making hard
aspects to those houses generally indicates either few children or those that
appear could be a disappointment or burden of responsibility in some way.
Uranus placed in the same fashion indicates potential for rebellion and
disruption, sometimes the task of dealing with potential genius. A Neptune
placement can indicate issues with drug or alcohol use, sometimes mental
instability; positively, Neptune can foster artistic development, spark an
interest in metaphysical matters or promote ideals by which to live. A
potential partner's Saturn, Uranus, Neptune or Pluto in hard aspect to a
child's Ascendant or planets in the angular houses, including the first house of
basic persona, the fourth house of root psyche and home, the seventh of
partners, enemies and projected parts of self; or the tenth of dealings with
authority, would call for special sensitivity on the part of the adult, to realize
the great impact their attitudes positive or negative, would have on the child's
growth and development.

What about projecting needs, falling in love with an illusion, demanding

perfection? Mr. Neptune, the king of illusion and deception is always involved
in these permutations. Placements to look for include one person's Neptune in
their own or another's seventh house of partners; or Neptune riding high on
one of the angles. Neptune in a dance with Mercury, Mars or Venus does
potentially invite complications in the form of unrealistic expectations,
deception, with holding information, rose-colored glasses or a diffusing of
partnership energy otherwise directed forward. Otherwise, Neptune moves
slowly in the heavens therefore two people could share a similar Neptune
placement, therefore sharing the same dreams, illusions or need for an
afternoon cocktail. Between parents, grand-parents and children one person's
Neptune or Uranus can be in square to the other's, an indicator for potentially
serious differences in spiritual beliefs and/ or the deployment of creative
energy. Or one's Uranus in square to another's Neptune does not make an easy
meeting ground between mutual ideals, ethics and sense of reality. Unrealistic
expectations, demands for perfection or a compulsive need for control can
also issue forth from a natal concentration of planets particularly in Scorpio,
Taurus, Sagittarius, Virgo or Pisces; also, consider someone's heavy-handed
Saturn sitting on another's Sun, Moon or Nodes of the Moon, it can get
tiresome over time.