Monologues Summary
Monologues Summary
Monologues Summary
All right, look ... I didn’t want to tell you, but I’ve fallen behind. At work. I can't keep up. Recently, they’ve ...
ahh ... they’ve let a few people go. They have me running the accounting department entirely by myself! I do
everything! The whole department! And that's not all! I'm also expected to take incoming calls because there's no
receptionist, and fix the computers because there's no tech department! I'm in charge of the mail room, the
cafeteria, janitorial services, research and development! Last week, human resources was let go, the whole
department, and I received a memo—which I’d actually typed myself because there's no secretary—instructing
me to familiarize myself with all applicable state and federal guidelines! Tomorrow, I'm supposed to start
mediating all employee disputes! I have no idea what I'm doing!
(Barbara’s Monologue)
My mother has this totally insane attitude about food. She eats like a bird—a hummingbird. For breakfast,
she’ll have a piece of dry toast and coffee. For lunch, a salad with no dressing. For dinner, a thimble-full of
chicken. It’s like her whole life is a diet, you know. When we go to a restaurant, she pulls out this little
booklet that tells you how many calories there are in food, how much fat, how many carbs and stuff.
Sitting down to eat with my mother is like sitting down at the table with a scientist. She analyzes
everything. And of course this means I have to eat rabbit food, too. The last time we had lunch, she
insisted I order a cucumber salad and a tomato stuffed with tuna. Oh yeah, and iced tea. Cucumbers and
iced tea. Real appetizing, huh? Puke-ola! This is why I try to avoid eating with her at all costs. Mom used
to be overweight. I guess this is the reason she*s flipped on diet. Because she’s a former fatty. She’s a
reformed food junkie. Which is okay to a point, all right? But she’s really taken the whole thing out of
sight. To the point where she’s paranoid about food. I’ll bet if you hid a Twinkie in her purse she’d have a
stroke.