Puberty: A Parent's Guide To Surviving The Best Years of Their Lives'
Puberty: A Parent's Guide To Surviving The Best Years of Their Lives'
Puberty: A Parent's Guide To Surviving The Best Years of Their Lives'
• Why?
Objectives
• Understand developmental and
environmental changes in puberty
• Biological
• Social
• Social context/expectations
Depression
• Adolescents (boys and girls) consistently
more depressive moods than pre-teens,
no difference with adults in clinical states
• Identity (Crisis?)
– Ego Theory: Erik Erikson 1968
• Adolescents ‘over identify’ with cliques
• Intolerant and cruel to others who are « different »
in petty aspects of dress
SOCIAL CHANGES
• Identity
– Social Identity Theory/Social Categorisation
Theory – Henri Tajfell/John Turner 1987
Baumrind 1975
PARENTING STYLES
• Authoritative most positive parenting style:
• Problem solving
• Mutual Support
Parents need to: Agree between themselves about their
basic values and rules.
• Rules
• Whilst they might protest, sensible rules can be the basis
for security and agreement.
– Be clear, so everone knows where they stand
– They should be agreed with the children
– Be consistent so everyone sticks to the rules
– Be less restrictive so the children become more responsible
– You can’t and shouldn’t have rules for everything. While some
rules will not be negotiable, there should be room for bargaining
on others.
• Rewards and Punishments
– Sanctions such as grounding or loss of pocket
money will only work if they are established in
advance. Don’t threaten if you are not willing
to carry them out.
– Rewards for behaving well are just as
important – probably more important, in fact.
– Don’t use corporal punishment
THE GOOD NEWS
• Recent studies have shown most teenagers actually like their parents and
feel that they get on well with them.
• It’s not just a difficult stage, although it can feel very much like it at times.
The anxiety experienced by parents is more than matched by the period of
uncertainty, turmoil and unhappiness experienced by the adolescent.
• Difficult times come and go, but most adolescents don’t develop serious
problems.
• Parents may sometimes start to feel they have failed. However, whatever
may be said in the heat of the moment, they play a crucial part in their
children’s lives.
Gratitude
Don’t worry if your children aren’t as grateful as you’d
like, they may not be until they have their own
children and realise how hard it can be!