Puberty: A Parent's Guide To Surviving The Best Years of Their Lives'

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PUBERTY

A Parent’s Guide to Surviving


the ‘best years of their lives’
Discuss
• What are the challenges of puberty?

• How do you see your child behaving /what


do you expect to see?

• Why?
Objectives
• Understand developmental and
environmental changes in puberty

• See adolescence in context of life tasks

• Develop awareness of strategies to avoid


conflict
ADOLESCENCE

Period of change – Transition from


being a child of parents to
potentially becoming a parent of
children (Oates, Lewis, Lamb 2005)
THREE AREAS OF CHANGE

• Biological

• Social

• Cognition (Thinking Skills)


BIOLOGICAL CHANGES
• Hypothalamus controls action of pituitary gland which produces
necessary hormones
• Hypothalamus like a ‘thermostat’ which regulates levels of sex hormones
in the body. At puberty there is a change in the ‘setting’ of the
hypothalamus requiring pituitary gland to work harder thus increasing sex
hormone levels, i.e. testosterone, oestrogen, androgen and
progesterone.

• The brain's hypothalamus begins to release pulses of GnRH.


• Cells in the anterior pituitary respond by secreting LH and FSH
into the circulation.
• The ovaries or testes respond to the rising amounts of LH and
FSH by growing and beginning to produce estradiol and
testosterone.
• Rising levels of estradiol and testosterone produce the body
changes of female and male puberty.
EFFECTS OF BIOLOGICIAL
CHANGES
• Menarche in girls (9-17 years)
• Spermarche in boys (11.25 – 17 years)
• Reproductive organs become fully
functional
• Growth of body hair
• Growth spurt (approx 9cm per year in girls,
10 cm per year for boys
Early/Late maturation in girls
• Body fat (athletic, undernourished)
• Stress/conflict in family (early onset)
• Early onset associated greater storm and
stress (ie:not all hormones..later less
reaction)
• Bigger, heavier –reaction from
peers/parents
Early/late maturation in boys
• Early maturation positive social benefits
size, strength, athleticism

• Late maturation disadvantageous-more


likely to be socially awkward, insecure,
variable in mood
Effects of biological changes on
behaviour
• Not causal, interaction
biological/environmental factors ( e.g
sleep, increased sensitivity of sensory
systems)

• Combined with negative life events/stress


not prepared for

• Social context/expectations
Depression
• Adolescents (boys and girls) consistently
more depressive moods than pre-teens,
no difference with adults in clinical states

• Girls more likely suffer depression


hormone changes make them susceptible
but evidence influence of gender role,
body image, sexual anxiety, expectations
of success, discourse style, rumination
COGNITIVE CHANGES
• Developing pre-frontal cortex

• Increased executive function


– Ability to think abstractly
– Becomes concerned with social issues
– Thinks long term
– Sets goals
– Compares one’s self to one’s peers
SOCIAL CHANGES
• Goal of adolescence emotional
emancipation from parents

• Identity (Crisis?)
– Ego Theory: Erik Erikson 1968
• Adolescents ‘over identify’ with cliques
• Intolerant and cruel to others who are « different »
in petty aspects of dress
SOCIAL CHANGES
• Identity
– Social Identity Theory/Social Categorisation
Theory – Henri Tajfell/John Turner 1987

• Adolescents categorise themselves as members of


groups, i.e. self stereotype through dress, music
etc.
SOCIAL CHANGES
• Reduced closeness with parents

• Peers become more influential

• Consumerism aids in forging desired


identity.

THESE ARE NORMAL!!!


PARENTING STYLES
• AUTHORITARIAN– Value obedience and forceful imposition of
parents’ will.

• PERMISSIVE – Believe parents should be non-intrusive but


available as resources

• NON-CONFORMIST – Although opposed to authority, are less


passive and exert more control than permissive parents

• AUTHORITATIVE – Warm, encourage independence and attempt to


shape behaviour using rational explanation

Baumrind 1975
PARENTING STYLES
• Authoritative most positive parenting style:

• They combine high responsiveness (good listeners and


empathetic)and high demandedness (high expectations and
enforcement of good behaviour)

• They foster independence while instilling a value system


charactersied by conformity to cultural and societal norms by
balancing the use of both reasoning and punishment.

• They value self assertion, wilfulness and independence and foster


these goals by assuming active and rational parental roles.
PARENTI NG STYLES
• According to Baumrind (1967, 1973)
children of authoritative parents become
socially responsible because their parents
clearly communicate realistic demands
that are intellectually stimulating, while
generating moderate amounts of tension.
TRANSACTIONAL MODEL OF
BEHAVIOUR – Sameroff & Fiese (2000)
• The child/adolescent actively relates to its
environment and is being acted upon by its
environment, i.e. caregivers/parents

• Interactions not only modify the way the child


behaves, they also modfy the environment on
subsequent encounters.

• Therefore a difficult encounter will modify the


way a parent or teacher treats the child the
second time around, and so on and so on…..
Challenges for us
• Try to remind ourselves of the many
changes going on with our kids – ALL AT
THE SAME TIME!

• Encourage cooperation, provide


consistent, loving discipline with limits,
restrictions and rewards
• Encourage distraction (focusing on neutral/pleasing
thoughts and activities) to rumination (obsessively going
over problems)

• Modeling possibilities for positive gender role

• Problem solving

• Talk about puberty, the social and hormonal changes


happening to them

• Find ways to spend time together


TOP TIPS
• Make your home a safe base
Adolescent children are exploring life, but need a base to
come back to. Home should be a place where they feel
safe, protected, cared for and taken seriously.

• Mutual Support
Parents need to: Agree between themselves about their
basic values and rules.

Support each other in applying them


• Easy Listening
• Adults need to be a source of advice, sympathy and
comfort.

• Rules
• Whilst they might protest, sensible rules can be the basis
for security and agreement.
– Be clear, so everone knows where they stand
– They should be agreed with the children
– Be consistent so everyone sticks to the rules
– Be less restrictive so the children become more responsible
– You can’t and shouldn’t have rules for everything. While some
rules will not be negotiable, there should be room for bargaining
on others.
• Rewards and Punishments
– Sanctions such as grounding or loss of pocket
money will only work if they are established in
advance. Don’t threaten if you are not willing
to carry them out.
– Rewards for behaving well are just as
important – probably more important, in fact.
– Don’t use corporal punishment
THE GOOD NEWS
• Recent studies have shown most teenagers actually like their parents and
feel that they get on well with them.

• It’s not just a difficult stage, although it can feel very much like it at times.
The anxiety experienced by parents is more than matched by the period of
uncertainty, turmoil and unhappiness experienced by the adolescent.

• Difficult times come and go, but most adolescents don’t develop serious
problems.

• Parents may sometimes start to feel they have failed. However, whatever
may be said in the heat of the moment, they play a crucial part in their
children’s lives.

• HELPING YOUR CHILD GROW THROUGH ADOLESCENCE CAN BE


PROFOUNDLY SATISFYING!!
• Set an example
– Despite becoming more independent, your children
will still learn a lot about how to behave from you.
« Do as I say, not as I do » will just not work!

Gratitude
Don’t worry if your children aren’t as grateful as you’d
like, they may not be until they have their own
children and realise how hard it can be!

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