Filthy Frank RPG 1.

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This game is extremely offensive for most people but it's our way to indulge in our stupidity.
All rights (if there are any) go to George Miller, aka Filthy Frank, showrunner of his infamous
eponymous youtube show. We hope you like this b0ss.

Introduction
This game is retarded and so are you if you think it's a good idea to play it. Escape while you can or
just kill yourself and embrace the sweet, sweet release of death.

Character creation
From the beginning, every playing character in the frankuverse rpg has definitely hit bedrock
retardation by roaming the internet without their parents, so they start with 10 in both autism and
cancer, the highest amount of both stats in the game. Their objective is to keep their sanity and
tumors in check by lowering these two stats with chromosomes, or else they'll lose the game. This
game is not some easy shit. it's a fucking race for survival in a world where everything's shit. So
you literally gotta stop being a faggot and use what you got.
A word about chromosomes. They are treated as experience points in this game, but they are not
just that. They are at the same time power, currency and a space-time unit. They are what binds
together the Frankuverse. Only difference with star wars and midichlorians is that we are openly
retarded and aren't trying to hide our jar jar binks. Another thing about chromosomes is that for
the sake of the game we used amounts ranging from 1 to 100, because it's already a retarded
game and if we put so many grognard variables nobody would have tried to read it to the end. In
truth, one unit of chromosomes contains 100 canon chromosomes. The true amounts are just
staggering, so we kept them low for your retarded comprehension. Yep, that's it. You didn't quit
here, you must be retarded.

RACES:
choose one of the main races. if you choose a subhuman or a lycra person, you get the average
amount of chromosomes (47), but if you get a Bald Chocolate Man you get 1 additional
Chromosome, and if you get the Promethean you get 1 less.
If you chose a class that gives Autism or Cancer, check that bonus after lowering your dreaded
main stats. If by any chance the levels reach beyond 10, the character is beyond salvation,
uncontrollable, wild, and worst of all, completely autistic. On the other hand, a character who
cleans up all his stat but still has that bonus will never be completely clean - that mark of
retardation will stain his body and soul forever.

CLASSES:
choose one of the three main classes. You don't get extra chromosomes for these ones, but boy
you sure look retarded anyway.They all grant 'special' (dis)abilities and allow for multiple
characters. Enjoy if you are that depraved.

STATS:
You have 47 chromosomes to spend in stats, skills and class (dis)abilities.
-you can distribute chromosomes in cancer or autism to make it decrease by one for every 3
chromosomes you spend on it.
-you can distribute chromosomes in health to get more points in it, but guess what, you should kill
yourself, so it doesn't matter. Even if you care, it's 4 chromosomes per point of health, you're
welcome, piss stain.
-you can even pretend you fucked bitches and put points in pussy, but who's gonna believe that,
you start at 0 and one point costs 5 chromosomes. seriously.
So, after you choose some of that shit and spend some chromosomes you get to spend some more
for extra disabilities from your class list. Go check'em.

ROLLS
every time the players use their abilities, they gotta roll 3d6 and hope to roll over a certain
number, called RL (Retard Limit). Think of Difficulty Class from other retarded rpgs.
However, they also have to keep in mind that they are subnormal pieces of shit. you thought you
could add cancer or autism to your skill rolls? THINK AGAIN FUCKER. You actually subtract the stat
from the roll you made. Now you understand why you need to keep that shit in check.
There are two things that help the player through this hell: the skill bonuses from races and classes
are actually added to the roll, and so is the pussy stat (which is still 0 you fucking virgins so don't
try to trick me into using it).
Ah, and also you gotta roll with your mouth you aborted failures

RACES
SUBHUMANS (all humanoids actively involved in the FFShow without Lycra, or all corrupted
humans, like Filthy Frank, Safari Man or Brock Lee) [+1 cancer]
Subhuman subraces:
-niggers: weed smokers. +1 to cooking (drugs only), +1 to rapping (rap only), +1 to dancing
(shooting only)
-japanese: fucking degenerates. +1 to magic&shit (jutsus only), +1 to rapping (talking shit only), +1
to dancing (katanas only)
-australian: shitposters. +1 to browsing the internet, +1 to rapping (talking shit only)
-manlet: wise and small. +1 to cooking, +1 to magic&shit
-american: stupid as shit. +1 to one single skill but -1 to another because fuck you.

LYCRA PEOPLE (people covered in lycra, they almost all have high autism and thus can't speak well
- with the exception of some) [+1 autism]
Lycra people subraces:
-red/pink lycra: the blood of kings. +1 to any two skills.
-black lycra: absolute evil. +2 to magic&shit
-white lycra: pure of heart. +2 to rapping (musical)

BALD CHOCOLATE MEN (rare, special snowflakes) [+1 cancer, +1 autism]

+3 to cooking (for others only). so delicious. they start with 4 health instead of 5 like everyone
else.

PROMETHEANS (strong aryan homunculuses, or non-cancerous humans infused with Prometheus'

power) [+1 pussy]
+1 to every skill except for rapping and magic&shit. They are cool, silent guys, and they don't need
stupid poopy magic. They also start with 6 health because they have muscles.
HYBRID (disgusting inbred slaves between subhuman races and other powerful races) [+1 cancer
or +1 autism]
use one bonus from one subhuman list and one bonus from another list. if you choose american
you also get the penalty.

CLASSES
All classes have 5 levels of retardation, which require intense chromosome use and a lot of Cory In
The House binge watching to keep living. Every class gets a specializazion at 3 level, which grants it
more powers.
To level up, one has to spend chromosomes on class disabilities up to the required threshold. at
that point, you gain +1 health, +1 in either cancer or autism and the new level's class disability.
Level ups:
Level 2 (65+): +1 health, +1 aut/can
Level 3 (85+): +1 health, +1 aut/can, specialization, specialization disabilities
Level 4 (105+): +1 health, +1 aut/can, specialization disabilities
Level 5 (130+): +1 health, +1 aut/can, specialization disabilities

RAPPER
In truth, a master of one or more artistic skills, like cooking, breakdancing or rapping, that socially
helps or harms people. They can level up as true rapperz, chromosome dervishes or cooking
mamas. Examples are Pink Guy, Politikz, Brock Lee and Salamander Man.

Class disabilities:
-Chromosome Boost: you can spend one chromosome to add a +2 during one roll, but you gotta
put the dice in your mouth and spit them to roll.
-Master of Retardbending: put a permanent +1 in any one skill for every 7 chromosomes you put
in it, or for only 5 chromosomes if you chose only one specific use of the skill (+1 on cooking, but
only for drugs, ad example). You can give up to +5 on a single skill, and up to +10 on a single
specific part of a skill.

True Rapperz
the true rapperz are lyrical spiritual individuals and can spit fire like no one else. They are true
rappers even if no one gives them a chance. They are true. So true fam. The realest niggas I know.
Fo sho.
Level 3- lyric trash poster, cringeflow
Level 4- shameless promotion
Level 5- check out my mixtape
Disability description:
lyric trash poster: you can deal damage online by using rapping on the internet. You use rapping
instead of browsing the internet when you boast sexual intercourse with someone's mom. People
reading it receive actual damage.
cringeflow: your rap skills are so bad that everyone feels sick when they hear them. And that's not
because they're sick rhymes. It's because they suck. However every time you roast people live with
the rapping skill you deal damage to everyone that can hear you, not just the target. The target
gets 2 damage, instead.
shameless promotion: you now have around a dozen fake account, which increases permanently
your autism by 1 (like a race bonus) but grants you a weekly amount of chromosomes equal to
your level.
check out my mixtape: when you deal damage through rapping, deal 1d4+1 damage to the target,
and2 damage instead of 1 to everyone in the area and then increase everyone's cancer by 1. Yes,
even yours. Especially yours.

Chromosome Dervish
the chromosome dervish is a very strong performer, he really knows his way on the dancefloor
and in bed. But he's still a faggot. However he has slightly higher chances to get that sweet pussy.
Level 3- chromosome skill, public masturbation
Level 4- chromosome economics, weapon master
Level 5- chromosome balance, chakra point titillation
Disability description:
chromosome skill: choose a skill. you are now very talented at it. you can expend 2 chromosomes
to reroll it if it goes badly. Don't fuck it up more than you already did, the second roll sticks.
public masturbation: you can indulge your horrible fetishes in public, and it will barely dent your
reputation. Which is already rock bottom. However, were you to receive autism or cancer higher
than 1, decrease this amount by 1.
chromosome economics: like the Guide's basic disability with the same name, you dip (see below)
weapon master: choose an object. You can use it very, very well. Even if it's not a weapon. You
can use it so well that everyone will compliment your skill. Trying not to laugh. But failing.
However you can beat them with it so it's somewhat even.
chromosome balance: you can exhange up to 5 chromosomes a week with allies. this allows
chromosome dervishes to save people on the brink of autism or with terminal cancer.
chakra point titillation: you can touch the very soul of a man through his nipples. This is the
ultimate power in both defense and offense: if you rub yours or your ally's, you can help
chromosome flow circulate and allow one to lower costs by one. If you rub those of an enemy
after hitting him, you don't deal damage but you close his chromosome flow, stopping any kind of
chromosome cost-based ability on him. And, if it's a Culturist, you're making him squeal.

Cooking Mama
the cooking mama is a valuable member of the team, because know how to not fuck up in the
kitchen (although it will surely happen anyway) and can restore health to his team of retarded
friends. If they manage not to puke.
Level 3- chef, batsu game expert
Level 4- yon hyaku nijuu, moyase, food no jutsu
Level 5- hot chef, batsu game champion
Disabilities description:
chef: you gain the cooking mama's main power: cooking shit to increase cooking's healing power.
you can cook horrible food, that forces players to roll 2d6. if they roll under, they recover 1d4+1. if
they roll over, they receive 1 more damage instead and vomit all they ate.
batsu game expert: when participating to a batsu game, you receive only 1 damage if you fail and
automatically succeed if you are the only one to perform in real life the challenge.
yon hyaku nijuu, moyase: a real cook can work even outside of the kitchen and make the realest
shit. You can prepare drugs to either heal cancer and autism by 1d4, or you can retain the usual
amount and allow for the players that blaze it with you to retain their mobility for the rest of the
session.
food no jutsu: cancer-based magic, summons half-digested food by one orifice and feeds it to the
enemy dealing cancer damage to the target and increasing by 1 the player's cancer.
hot chef: guy fieri licks on your balls in amazement while you make him gurgle all the shit you
cooked. When you cook food to heal people, it's the real deal. If you survive the ordeal, you regain
all health, 1 cancer and 1 autism. If not, you die. What would you expect from cinnamon rat
sandwich with créme brulée and pigeon shit?
batsu game champion: never fuck with a professional. You are always the last to go if you don't
want to do it and if you play in real life the batsu game and fail you gain no bad effects.

GUIDE
wise people that know extensively about one of the many plagues of the multiverse... and that
sometimes are corrupted by them. They can level up as Anime Hunters, Shamans or Culturists.
Examples are Filthy Frank, Safari Man, Prometheus, The Shaman and Red Dick.

Class disabilities:
-Chromosome Economics: you can spend 1 chromosome less when you use a disability that costs
chromosomes, like a spell, but not when paying experience costs.
-PhD in Retardation: choose a field of knowledge. for each field you choose you pay 8
chromosomes.
 Japan - the dreaded land. you get Japanese as a bonus language and can recognize
japanese retards at sight. you can use the kancho attack, a barehanded attack for 2
damage on unsuspecting enemies. if you miss, you receive 1 damage.
 Realms - the multiverse and its perils. you get two multiverse dialects as bonus languages
and can learn and cast the spell Cross the Realms at -2 chromosomes than usual.
 Internet - the virtual wasteland of cancer and autism. you always know the latest memes
and trends on all social platforms, and can shitpost with a bonus equal to your level.
 Sex - you roam youporn like a master. you know all of the anatomical parts of women and
have actually talked with a few once. they never talked back. you get a bonus equal to your
level at dancing when using it for sex, anal sex of course, you've never seen a vagina live
since your birth, you sissy faggot. keep eating ass and watching midget porn. with a bonus
equal to your level.
 Chromosome - you can speak the Dreaded Speech as a bonus language and know all about
the ancient lords of chromosomes like Chin Chin. You must pay one of them 2-
chromosome sacrifices per week, but can occasionally ask for favors through cellphone. be
careful. you don't get the chromosome economics discount like other guides if it's your
first retardation field, and if it's not it costs you 4 more chromosomes to get it.
 Conspiracy - how can anybody miss the obvious truth? It's a conspiracy! Ask Obama! You
know how our friends are suffering at the hands of the Uni- *omissis* but i know it's a
cover-up, jus- *omissis* you will find only closed doors, but *omissis* that bonus to search
on wikipedia, although it's not what y- *omissis* it's equal to your level. Stay awake!
-Magnus Opus: at 5th level, your knowledge of the world is beyond questioning. You have
compiled, over the chromosomes, a powerful tome of magical power, that grants you a constant
refill of 5 chromosomes every week. The title depends on whatever fuckery you had as a field of
study first: a PhD in Sex Retardation will create the BOP (Book Of Pussy), while a PhD in Internet
Retardation might pull the Tumblromicon out of his ass. Go figure.
Anime Hunter
the last bastion against the forces of anime. he's strong, he's dauntless, he's definitely not a virgin.
That's what he says. He's so tough he calls anime 'cartoons' on otaku.net forums.
Level 3- anime are cartoons, otaku killer
Level 4- execution, baka fucking gaijin
Level 5- nobody gives a shit
Disabilities description:
anime are cartoons: your eyes are open to the truth. abilities by anime creatures, japanese people
and weeaboo don't work on you unless the winning roll shows at least two 5 or two 6 on the dice.
otaku killer: you gain +2 damage to all attacks you make against anime creatures, japanese people
and weeaboo. fuck them.
execution: you and your allies mark an enemy for death. once the bastard is in the open, each of
you immediately attack a number of times equal to your cancer. Hmmm what'cha sayyyy.
baka fucking gaijin: you can exile an anime creature or japanese creature or weeaboo you are
fighting by beating him in a batsu game, rapping his face off or by boasting sexual intercourse with
his mom on the internet. If you deal at least 1 damage, you banish him to the rice fields.
nobody gives a shit: you weren't aware before, but now you are. It's not just the japan thing, it's
everything! Nobody gives a shit about anything! You can now use all abilities that can be used on
japanophiles on other people (with the exception of anime are cartoons).

Shaman
the spiritual healer, corresponding to the cooking mama in mental power. Of course, he's buff as
shit and knows how to pack a punch. Embrace his sweet, sweet love.
Level 3- Level-headed, Wise advice
Level 4- Folk Remedy, Muscle Meditation
Level 5-Peace of Mind, Broccoli Guru
Disabilities description:
Level-headed: you receive 1 autism less than usual when you receive it. You don't have time for
this shit.
Wise advice: you can always give the right opinion in every situation. But i doubt someone will
listen.
Folk Remedy: the spiritual counterpart of the mama's chef power, this ability reduces autism and
cancer by 1 every time you cook well. no after effects, no failure damage. Thank you wise shaman
for your broccoli power.
Muscle Meditation: mens sana in corpore sano, said Cory in The House once, before fucking the
president in the ass. Same goes for the Shaman, who can repel 1 point of cancer every time he
meditates. meditating is hard and occupies a lot of time. do it after blazing it.
Peace of Mind: the shaman has reached the maximum amount of psychical power, and won't be
intimidated by the dark gods. he can't gain or lose autism anymore unless he accepts it.
Broccoli Guru: the healing power extends beyond the realms of common knowledge. Now the folk
remedy can heal 2 of autism and cancer every time the shaman uses them.

Culturist
you won't see nicer muscles in any realm, bro. He's got the real stuff. Both faggots and girls want a
piece of that perfect shit. Definitely /fit/ material.
Level 3- Muscle Meditation, Achilles' Nipple
Level 4- Do you even lift faggot, untouchable
Level 5- ultimate muscles
Disabilities description:
Muscle Meditation: like the shaman's disability you just read a few lines up. but it gets better.
Achilles' Nipple: the incredible power of the culturist manifests in the terrifying muscle powers he
boasts. his health and the damage he has increase by 2, but all his powers are lost if the enemy
strikes him in both his nipples at the same time.
Do you even lift faggot: the culturist must be able to lift solid lead trashcans on his way to
perfection. So all the damage he does with very big, heavy weapons (that he's now able to lift and
drop on his enemies) is 2d4+2 (yes, comprehensive of the earlier bonus).
untouchable: Don't you dare touch the perfect muscles of a culturist! Every time you touch his
marble-like forms, he will counterattack dealing 2 damage. Because those are really some very,
very nice muscles.
ultimate muscles: now the culturist has reached the apex of muscle power set by his hero,
Prometheus. Now the culturist can't lose or gain cancer unless he wants to, and subtracts one
point of damage from every damage that hits him.

CULTIST
the wretched, hungry for power. they have the highest skills of Cancer and/or Autism, which
makes them terribly susceptible to chromosome addiction. they are very powerful, but they burn
out very fast. They can level up as tumblr girls, weeaboos, atheists and meme machines.
Class disabilities:
-Chromosome dealer: you worked and wanked hard to get those chromosomes and won't give'em
away for so little, so start bargaining your way to the top, fuckass. When sacrificing chromosomes
for sacrifices and similar rituals, but not for class-related spells, you consume 10% less for every
level you have in this fucked up class.
- Disposable: You are less than nothing and you know it. But those chromosomes you have, yes,
they are valuable. A lot. You know how to make the best use of it. Starting from the fact that you
are still a living shitmine. of shitty, yet precious chromosomes. You lack some? Just sacrifice some
health! And, since we're about it, just kill yourself. If you damage yourself in this way, you receive
the amount of health in chromosomes, though you need to wait a week to rebuild this lost health.
You can keep cutting yourself up for chromosomes, though, so if you find the urge and the greed
so impelling... who are we to stop you from walking earlier in your grave?
-Shit wizardry: choose one spell for free. the other spells cost 18 chromosomes each.
 Faggot No Jutsu: autism-based spell. intercepts the next X attacks, where X is half the
autism level, rounded down (minimum 0, it's your fault even if you're not that autistic).
Increase your autism by 1.
 *teleports behind you*: autism-based spell. teleports behind you. what the fuck would you
expect. increase your autism by 1. if you have 10 autism and pay 10 chromosomes, it
instead teleports outta his ass. Ouch. Deal him 2 damage.
 Banana Hitman: cancer-based spell. send a killer banana at your enemy. it deals 1d4
damage. you gain 1 autism. If your autism is 10 and you pay 10 chromosomes to cast this,
the banana instakills the target.
 Check Your Privilege: autism-based spell. target loses his next X turns questioning your
retardedness. X is half your autism, rounded up (minimum 1). After casting this spell, your
autism and cancer both increase by 1.
 Meme Cascade: cancer-based spell. throw thousands of memes in the area, as they erupt
in a torrent of LOL, YOU MAD? and ME GUSTA. Deal X damage to all in the area, where X is
 half your cancer rounded up (minimum 1), then add 1 to your cancer. If your cancer is 10
and you pay 10 chromosomes to cast this, the value is instead 10 to all.
 Demonic Assrape: cancer-based spell. hellfire burns from inside the rectum as the target is
bent over by Plastic Pinocchio for one round. Any kancho executed while the target is bent
over deal double damage to either the target or the user. You gain 1 cancer. If your cancer
is 10 and you pay 10 chromosomes to cast this, the kancho damage instakills the target.
 Anal beads: cancer-based spell. the beads deal 1 damage every round for a number of
rounds equal to your cancer. Any kancho or anal sex attempt deals 1 extra damage to both
attacker and attacked. You gain 1 cancer.
 Erectile dysfunction: autism-based spell. the target won't get laid. With anyone. Not even
with himself. for a whole week. During that time all his attempts at sex, anal or not, and at
related activities, he fails. More disastrously than usual. Good job dude. Even Hitler could
get it up sometimes. Also you increase your cancer by 1. If your autism is 10 and you pay 10
chromosomes to cast this, the dysfunction never wears off again. For the rest of time or
until you break the curse. Good luck doing that.

Tumblr Girl
You better not cross this bitch or she gonna cut you with her pubic hair-filled razor. Dangerous,
powerful and volatile. Even if hot, DO NOT APPROACH. Never stick your dick in crazy.
Level 3- feminist rage
Level 4- buy artistic talent, rape whistle
Level 5- special snowflake (use cancer as health), zayn left one direction
Disabilities description:
feminist rage: you can enter a mindless rage. more mindless than usual. during its effect you
ignore autism overflowwhen it goes over 10, even if it would put you out of the game, but if you
don't get back under autism 10 before the end of the day, you will forever be a frothing, comatose
land-whale.
buy artistic talent: daddy buys you computers, cameras, mobiles and all the shit you need to be a
'true artist'. If you have no more chromosomes left, you always get back one. because daddy must
be really fucking retarded to keep you.
rape whistle: you can screech so hard that when using rapping for talking shit you add your level
to all attempt to make sure that everyone hates you. because you are right. sure thing.You can
also summon an atheist neckbeard bound to you by M'Lady (see below).
special snowflake: how come nobody understands that you are a non-binary lasersexual cancer-
kin that survives through fat acceptance? They will see. Your health is now counted using your
autism.
zayn left one direction: you can use this once. then you die. For Zayn. everyone in a mile dies from
your eldritch screeches. allahu akbar.

Weeaboo
Everyone knows this motherfuckers. They infest local game stores, comic book stores, and their
moms' basement. Foul breath, sweaty armpits and mantitties will definitely make this a hard
enemy.
Level 3- katana collection, otaku smell
Level 4- cosplay armor, 'cause i read the manga
Level 5- bodypillow, kancho
Disabilities description:
katana collection: you always are armed with dangerous weapons. If only you knew how to use
them properly... you get a -3 penalty to all attempts to attacks. If you manage to attack
nonetheless, you deal 2d4 damage to the target. Otherwise, you deal them to yourself.
otaku smell: you are literally the foulest of the servants of the dark lords. anything near you gets a
-3 penalty to all rolls unless they're trying to vomit, in which cas it works perfectly.
cosplay armor: it's not helpful for defense. but grants +2 health for your obese forms coming out
of it, and other neckbeards will notice your pathetic efforts, granting 1 extra chromosome for
every point of autism you have, every time you attend a comic/vidya convention.
'cause i read the manga: you are always one step ahead of everyone. 'Cause you read the manga,
we get it. However you still can't speak japanese.
bodypillow: you found the love of your life, your perfect waifu in a pillow. you fucked it so much it
actually stands up on its own (and reduces the first 1 damage you get every round). however for
you it's much better than masturbating, so you can perform sexual acts with it to gain pussy
points. Only thing is, they can never be more than 11 less your autism. Checkmate, asshole. Get a
life.
kancho: like the disability of the Guide's PhD in Japan Retardation (look up, you dumbass).

Atheist
while they try to deny the existance of the Dark Gods, atheists adhere to dogmatic idiocy far
beyond that of normal religions. Dangerous holier-than-thou bodyguards for pussy that they will
never get to touch. Ever. Mark my words.
Level 3- Fedora collection, Nice Guy
Level 4- M'Lady
Level 5- White Knight of Cuckalot
Disabilities Description:
Fedora collection: you always have sharp fedoras to throw with HARDCOAR skill. you can use
them to attack from afar, since a 'true gentleman never dirties his hands'. They deal 1 damage.
From cringiness.
Nice Guy: you know licking people's asses isn't a literal expression, right? You won't eat the ass of
those girls. Ok, i get it, it's your choice. Go enjoy this complimentary constant +2 autism for the
rest of eternity (or until the sweet, sweet release of death).
M'Lady: you can make a binding pact of lick-ass loyalty to a female of your choice. You'll be her
cringe toy and enjoy your life serving her in every minutia. What? You'll do it? That definitely
shows perseverance. Or true retardation. Your autism limit increases from 10 to 12 for you to get
to the overflow, but you must still pay 12 chromosomes for the spells you cast despite not getting
much more out of it.
White Knight of Cuckalot: Have you heard? Melanie is going out with Chad. Aren't you a bit
tortured inside? No? Damn, son, you have gone past the event horizon of autism. your Pussy stat
vanishes, and is replaced by the Cuck stat. Every time you humiliate youself in service of your
M'Lady with her Thundercock fiancée, you gain one Cuck point that can be spent as chromosomes
if you need so, and that works as Pussy points to negate Autism penalties. It has its threshold at 4,
though.

Meme Machine
Minecraft is NOT a cool game, you 'dip'. Cringy beyond reason. They will spam shit from cradle to
grave. Stay. Away.
Level 3- trollface, shitpost
Level 4- new meme
Level 5- go back to reddit/newgrounds
Disabilities description:
trollface: Whoa! Look at that! That kid's having a seizure- no, wait, that's just his face. He sure
enjoys having a rectum tumor instead of a face. Probably because of the disability power that
grants him his cancer stat in place of his health! Incredible, huh? kids nowadays.
shitpost: everytime you use the browsing the internet everyone else loses the ability to use it
because of your shitty post that clog up the web for one hour per point of cancer you have at the
moment of the skill use. You can still browse the internet for midget porn, tho.
new meme: you can attempt to generate disgust in people by posting new shit. when you use the
browsing the internet to boast sexual intercourse with someone's mom you make everyone quit
the computer station by dealing 2 damage and 2 cancer to everyone.
go back to reddit/newgrounds: you finally learn a terrifying exile spell used in strange websites. It
costs 5 chromosomes to use, but allows you to exile someone else in one of the dreaded realms of
cancer for a number of hours equal to your Cancer. No shit.

STATS
Cancer - all physical abilities
Autism - all mental abilities
Chromosomes - a pool of mana to use and expend in many ways: every magic skill is based on
either cancer or autism, and the higher the stat, the higher the amount of chromosomes that must
be used. This explains why Chin Chin, that has so much Cancer and Autism, needs so many
chromosomes each day - the stronger the power, the greater the demand. However, the higher
the cost, the stronger the effect.
Pussy - rare resource that can limit the harmful effects of autism and cancer. once depleted, it's
hard to get new.

SKILLS

COOKING - grants health with what you can cook

uses:
-cook food: you can heal 1 point of health per use. you need ingredients, a working kitchen, and
cooking utensils.
-use drugs: you can prepare some weed and blaze it 420 every day, lowering autism and cancer
by 1, but also putting out the character for the rest of the session. you need weed, carrots, lettuce
and broccoli, and a lighter to blaze up that joint.
-batsu game: you can challenge an enemy to a batsu game and see who has to do. if have to and
you win, you survive the experience without damage and pass to others. If you fail, you get 2
damage and the disgust from other retarded looking down on you. All partecipants get 1 cancer.
You can get a +2 bonus to the roll if you actually perform the batsu game in real life with others or
alone vs the GM.

DANCING - helps to dodge, attack and impress/intimidate others, or have sex

uses:
 -dodge: you can dodge an attack per round. if you fail, you suck balls and lose an extra point of
health.
-attack: you can strike people with your dick and shit. you can use weapons or go barehanded, I
don't care. If you fail repeatedly tho you might break or jam your weapon. even if it's a
masterwork katana. And I don't care what you hold, it's still 2 damage. two fucking damage. some
stuff might turn this into more damage. Go look for it if you want, i'm not telling you.
-dance: you can actually dance, no shit. if you are good in front of non-autistic people, you heal
cancer. if you fail in front of them, you gain autism. if you are
-anal sex: you hump and fuck in the ass or are fucked in the ass. the one who wins gains 1 pussy,
the other loses one. if you managed to fuck an actual girl (YEAH SURE YOU FAGGOT) you actually
gain 2d4 pussy points.

RAPPING - helps to convince people through pure musical expression, via voice or instruments.
can move even the strongest creatures to compassion and empathy.
uses:
-talk shit: you can convince people with words. and screeches. mostly screeches.
-play instrument: ass-flute, piano, accordion, does it look like I care, just play that shit. if you get it
right you can make people weep, or get angry, you play them like a piano, ahaha, you got the
joke? like a piano? ...i wanna kill myself.
-rap: people you diss get roasted. make them pay for what they did to you in fourth grade. if you
beat someone in a rap battle or you attack someone with harsh, true words from the street, deal
them 1 damage. You gotta roleplay your rap skills. The cringier, the better.

BROWSING THE INTERNET - gives knowledge of things.

-fap to midget porn: there's no use denying it. you better start fapping now and regain pussy
points if you don't want to die.
-watch cringe videos: you can decrease your autism by 1 if you succeed; if you fail, you instead
get 1 autism.
-search on wikipedia: when you actually need to find out knowledge.
-boast sexual intercourse with someone's mom: like when you rap in someone's face. but on the
internet.

MAGIC&SHIT - all jutsus and rituals are done in this way. they can use Cancer or Autism,
depending on the kind of ability used. You roll for casting, and add your cancer or autism. the RL is
higher on these ones.
There are some spells and rituals that can be learned by any class, provided they can pay the
necessary chromosomes.
-Summon Dark Lord: Cancer/Autism-based (highest). Costs 22 chromosomes to learn. You can
summon the eldritch lords by sacrificing double the amount of the casting attribute in
chromosomes. Cultists get better at this because they have nothing to lose and Chinchin is amused
by these fucktards. he can still banish them if he's displeased. Using such a spell repeatedly can
cause a fuckton of problems. But you won't be there 'cause you'll be dead.
-Cross the Realms: Autism-based. Costs 16 chromosomes to learn. You can get into another Realm
if you know the destination. Otherwise it just points you to the nearest portal that can lead you
there. if your autism is 10 and you spend 10 chromosomes to cast this spell, you appear out of
your worst enemy's anus if he's on the plane, dealing 2 damage. Ouch.
-Bitches Ain't Shit: Autism-based. Costs 16 chromosomes to learn. You count as having a Pussy
stat of half your Autism for one day. And fuck those bitches, they don't deserve you.
-I Eat Ass: Autism-based. Costs 30 chromosomes to learn. If you actually manage to succeed at
talking with a girl without disgusting her, you can actually get laid. Confirmed.
-Ravioli, Ravioli, Your Opinion is Wrongioli: cancer-based. costs 10 chromosomes to learn. You
can deal 1 damage through use of magical food that comes out of orifices and pockets on your
person. Some call this the Food no Jutsu. if your cancer is 10 and you spend 10 chromosomes to
cast this spell, you deal 1d6 damage. With giant food. I'm not joking.
-That's my fetish: cancer-based. Costs 10 chromosomes to learn. You can ignore the first point of
damage dealt to you by every source for a number of rounds equal to your cancer. if your cancer is
10 and you spend 10 chromosomes to cast this spell, you are invulnerable instead, as masochism
finds a new meaning in you.