Hakomari V 6 - Wish-Crushing Cinema (II) PDF
Hakomari V 6 - Wish-Crushing Cinema (II) PDF
Hakomari V 6 - Wish-Crushing Cinema (II) PDF
Volume 6
Ilustrator : Tetsuo
Translator : EusthEnoptEron
Editing : Grrarr
PDF : Arczyx
Maria Otonashi's elder sister, Aya Otonashi, is dead. That's what the records say,
at any rate.
I discovered this before the events of the 'Game of Idleness'. I had been doing
some digging into Maria Otonashi's background, hoping to improve my control
over my 'box'.
Maria Otonashi.
She is the second daughter of a high-ranking executive who worked for a large
finance firm. The house she lived in with her family—her father Michishige, her
mother Yukari, and her sister Aya—was part of a wealthy neighborhood in the
Hyougo prefecture. The age difference between her parents was rather great;
when Maria was fourteen years old, her father was already in his sixties, while
her mother was just thirty-five. On top of that, Maria's mother was Michishige's
third wife.
Clearly, Maria's family situation was rather…complicated. This held equally true
for Maria's relationship with her sister Aya. Aya's birth mother was Michishige's
previous wife. In addition, Aya was only three months older than Maria, and thus
they were both in the same grade.
In order to avoid drawing attention to this state of affairs, Michishige sent them
to different elementary and junior high schools.
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Intermission
Aya, the elder sister, really stood out. She was extremely bright, athletic, and
popular to boot. No one was surprised when she took on prominent positions
like president of the student council; every student knew her name.
Her little sister Maria, on the other hand, was quiet and reserved. Apparently,
her failure to stand up for herself led to a lot of teasing while she was in
elementary school. That might have been why she frequently complained of
headaches or stomachaches, which allowed her to stay at home or seclude
herself in the infirmary and avoid her classes. Needless to say, her grades left
much to be desired.
However, the true problem student was not Maria, who wouldn't open up to
anyone and was frequently absent, but Aya, the seemingly superb student.
Aya was more academically talented than her teachers, and didn't hesitate to
correct their errors. When bullying took place in her class, she dealt with it far
more effectively than any teacher could. When there was a disagreement with a
teacher in class, she singlehandedly refuted him even though that teacher was
supposed to handle the matter.
Aya rapidly proved that she was sharper-witted than her teachers, and the
difference in ability was so glaring that even her classmates were aware of this.
There was no way that they would respect such incompetent teachers. Aya had
deeply undermined the authority of the entire staff, eventually resulting in
disobedient behavior on the part of all her classmates. Their condition
deteriorated—not blatantly, but in an uncanny manner that would not become
noticeable until some serious incidents occurred.
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Intermission
Three teachers lost their jobs because they came in contact with Aya. One
became a burnout, one attacked a student, and one fell in love with Aya and
began to stalk her.
Despite their disparate personalities and different birth mothers, Aya and Maria
seemed to be on good terms. They were often spotted chatting over the phone,
or spending time together on weekends, holding hands. A classmate of Aya's
who joined them from time to time told me:
"They were totally close to one another! And more than sisters or friends...
twins? No, that still doesn't feel right. I guess what fits best would be... lovers?"
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Intermission
The details of that accident remain unknown because there were no witnesses;
two cars collided head-on, and the driver of the other car died instantly.
Save for Maria, who had stayed home, they all died. That's an unchangeable fact.
After her parents' estate had been dealt with and custody of Maria awarded to
Michishige's younger brother Kyohiko, Maria disappeared without a trace.
That is nearly the sum total of what I could learn about Maria Otonashi.
I don't know how she came in contact with the miracle of the 'boxes' after that,
nor do I know what made her want to become a being that grants wishes and
enabled her to acquire her 'Flawed Bliss'.
Their deaths transformed Maria and instilled an abnormal desire for self-sacrifice
in her heart, indirectly giving birth to the transcendent person she is today.
Interestingly, she was given the opportunity to reinvent herself. Thanks to the
repetitions of the 'Rejecting Classroom', she had all the time in the world to do
so. She evolved into a copy of Aya of sorts, perhaps thinking that by becoming
her perfect sister, she could fulfill her new goal.
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Intermission
Ah, armed with that stack of information, I should have understood the true
nature of 'O' far earlier.
...No, not quite. Linking 'O' to a thing as earthly as her family had been
problematic for other reasons.
The better you understand the supernatural, the more it loses its mystery.
Unless you believe blindly in it and abandon all attempts to comprehend it, you
will be unable to master a 'box'. You mustn't try to draw meaning from the
mysterious.
However, the act of renouncing deeper thought is the very thing that I hate the
most.
That condition contradicts my 'wish', so there's simply no way I could meet it.
Since that keeps me from mastering a 'box', I thus had to set strict restrictions on
the capabilities of my 'box'. But thanks to those restrictions, I was able to obtain
a 'box' that I can actually handle—the 'Shadow of Sin and Punishment'.
'O'.
All along, it was just the initial letter of "Otonashi." And given that Otonashi uses
her sister's name, I'm sure that the correct interpretation of that letter is as
follows.
"Aya Otonashi."
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Intermission
Otonashi, Yuuri Yanagi and I are still inside the 'Wish-Crushing Cinema', the 'box'
that consists of a crimson movie theater.
The theater is so insanely sterile that it seems designed solely to erase dirty
beings, and I feel its constant overbearing pressure. It keeps chipping away at my
will and slowly crushing my 'box'.
—It's odd.
I look around.
We are in a completely dust-free red corridor that forms a perfect circle, and is
connected to four theaters. Before us lies the entrance hall. A digital info panel is
displaying the message "The movie Repeat, Reset, Reset has ended."
"Close-Up Goodbye"
They each revolved around my past, viewed from the perspectives of Miyuki
Karino, Haruaki Usui, and Maria Otonashi, respectively. It's a gorgeously
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Intermission
Its title reads "Piercing at Fifteen," and it's scheduled to run from 22:30 to 24:00.
My defeat is practically set in stone if I don't manage to stop everything before
midnight.
Maria Otonashi.
...No. She is no longer that reserved and timid girl; I shouldn't call her that.
"Aya. I have a question." I speak her name tentatively, yet it feels oddly fitting.
Ah, no wonder. When I first met her within the 'Rejecting Classroom', she was
"Aya Otonashi" and no one else. The girl who is standing before me right now is
the personality created during the countless time loops as she pursued her
ideals, "Aya Otonashi."
It was beyond my power to call her "Maria" when we were trapped in those
endless iterations. In the first place, Maria is a false name that should have
sunken into oblivion; it was but a whim that made her mention it. No person
named "Maria Otonashi" existed, nor did Aya ever intend to allow such a person
to exist.
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Intermission
The miraculous feat of overcoming that intention was a feat that only Kazu could
pull off, as one of the few people who could retain their memories across those
iterations.
I, on the other hand, could not bring about such a miracle. It was impossible for
me to remember the name "Maria" during those loops.
Therefore, she is and will remain "Aya Otonashi" to me, even if she borrowed
that name from her elder sister.
Without displaying any special reaction to the way I addressed her, she replies,
"What is your question?"
I describe the oddity that I have observed: "Why hasn't the 'Wish-Crushing
Cinema' ended already?"
"What are you talking about? It's because Hoshino hasn't destroyed it, that's
plain and simple enough."
"Don't you see what I'm getting at? I'm wondering why he hasn't done so
already. His will was broken the moment you abandoned your identity as Maria
Otonashi. Wouldn't he naturally give up on this battle? Why is the 'Wish-
Crushing Cinema' still intact?"
Right, Aya Otonashi's presence here indicates that the fight should be over.
Because that means Kazu's scenario of absolute despair has come to fruition.
But why are we still here then? Why hasn't he given up?
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Intermission
"It seems that you understood nothing, Oomine. You are unaware of Hoshino's
true caliber."
"I simply mean that his will hasn't broken," she says without moving a muscle.
"Hah?"
Kazu's goal is to provide Maria Otonashi with an everyday life free from 'boxes'.
But that's obviously not possible anymore, since Aya has decided to erase "Maria
Otonashi" once and for all and enter the 'Cinema'. Kazu's goal has become
impossible; he should know that better than anyone else.
That's absurd. But as it stands, the 'Wish-Crushing Cinema' hasn't ended yet. In
addition, I don't think Aya would misjudge Kazu's nature.
"...Ah, crap!"
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Intermission
Kazu isn't able to achieve his goal now that Aya has made her choice. He has
effectively lost. I'm convinced of that, no matter what he thinks.
However, his defeat doesn't mean that I'll be victorious. If I don't do anything,
we will both suffer defeat. If his will doesn't break and this 'box' isn't destroyed, I
will have to watch the fourth movie, Piercing at Fifteen. After that, my 'box' will
break whether I want it to or not, and if that happens, my attempt to make the
world a more ethical place by producing 'Dog Humans' will go to waste.
How did it come to this? Everything went according to plan. I even managed to
nullify his Trojan horse, Yuuri Yanagi, and bring Aya Otonashi here. Nonetheless,
I've reached a deadlock. I'm cornered even though I haven't lost... What on Earth
is that guy? An undefeatable boxer or something?
I'm starting to understand why 'O' said that I couldn't win against Kazu.
"In the last few minutes, you've stopped calling Kazuki-kun by his first name,
haven't you?"
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Intermission
"What about it, bitch? Had to confirm if Kazu's available now that he and Aya
have gone their separate ways? You're a nuisance, so shut the fuck up."
"Eeeeh?! What's with that abusive language?! That's nasty! Beside, haven't you
been treating me like air for far too long?!"
"Of course, your time in the sun's over. Aya is already Kazu's enemy, so your
value's gone down the drain. Be a good little bog body and keep silent, or you'll
just get us all bogged down."
Though she's right—Aya has changed how she refers to Kazu. Most likely, now
that they're enemies, she can no longer refer to him in such a familiar way.
Enemies.
Enemies...
"By the way, Aya, let me get this straight: Can I count on you for help? Kazu
won't leave you alone as long as his will remains unbroken, so you also need to
defeat him."
"Yeah, you can. I can't just turn a blind eye to Kazuki Hoshino. He may be
unarmed, but I can't let my guard down. I still consider him the greatest obstacle
between me and my goal."
"I guess so. So, I think it's a good idea to join forces until he's taken care of. What
do you say?"
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Intermission
Aya keeps silent for a moment, but eventually opens her mouth. "...I detest that
'box' of yours, the 'Shadow of Sin and Punishment'. Your approach sacrifices
others, which goes against my principles. While I do agree that we are alike, I
won't ever agree with your approach."
Kazu still hasn't given up despite the dire straits he's in. If there is a way to break
his spirit, then Aya's bound to be part of it.
"Crushing him definitely comes first in my book. What I mean to say is that I feel
no obligation to assist you—I'm just optimizing for my own goals. For instance,
you're constrained by a time limit, but I'm not. That difference may end up
hurting you."
"Fine."
"Okay, then how do we get started? I can't come up with an obvious way to
break his spirit right now, but you can, right? Tell me: What is the most effective
way to attack Kazu?"
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Intermission
I'm posing this question for two reasons. First off, she might actually be able to
come up with something I overlooked, since she knows Kazu so well. The other
reason is that I want to confirm she really has completely abandoned him.
While I'm pretty sure she has cut off all ties, I remember the depth of their
relationship. It wouldn't surprise me if her feelings for Kazu were still present at
some level. She might propose a half-hearted plan because deep down, she's still
attached to him. If that's the case, she'll be a burden as a partner, and I'd be
better off taking advantage of her as much as I can while keeping her away from
Kazu.
It's a reply that rules out any lingering attachment to Kazu that I feared she
might still possess.
"I can easily forget about him if I use my 'Flawed Bliss' on one of his friends.
Nothing will remain of what he and I built up within that repeating world. That's
all we have to do."
Kazu only hasn't given up—and still has hope—because he knows that he's
someone special to Aya.
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Intermission
Put differently, that's all he has left; without it, he won't even have a glimmer of
hope anymore.
So they just have to become strangers. The special bonds between them just
have to vanish.
However—
"But Aya..."
He and Aya were a team; they depended on each other, and they formed strong
bonds. Deep bonds that shaped them into totally different people.
"Aya, are you really okay with that?" I ask offhandedly, but the answer is
apparent.
She is. Otherwise, she wouldn't propose something like that to begin with. A
superhuman like Aya feels nothing at all even if she has to forget about Kazu.
There is no comparison between me and an ubermensch like her.
However:
"I'm not."
"...What?"
I freeze.
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Intermission
I didn't expect that. I would have been unsurprised if she'd said that she didn't
care at all, but I didn't see that coming.
"Of course I'm not okay with that. If I were, I wouldn't have tried to stay with
Hoshino for so long. I would be denying the truth if I refused to admit how dear
he was to me. As long as I deny that, I can't oppose him."
"But then—"
How can she make such a proposal? One that completely and utterly tramples
her own feelings?
"...Why?!"
"I don't take heed of feelings that stand in the way of my goal. My mind is not
that weak. My will shall not be swayed by my own feelings."
Seeing how transcendentally she behaves—how she can examine her own
feelings from a completely detached perspective—one thing is evident.
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"I'm not a human. I'm just a being that grants wishes. In other words, a 'box'."
Of course that's just a figure of speech; Aya is by all accounts a human. She is
merely saying that she lives her life with inhuman resolve.
For Aya, the sole meaning of life is achieving her goals. She doesn't let her
feelings or desires interfere with those goals in any way—not even for her
dearest friend or to avoid her own death.
—Machine...Puppet...'Box'.
But after seeing how she burst the boundaries of humanity, can I really imagine
myself at her level?
".................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................
......"
——Impossible.
It would have been easier to tolerate if she'd said that she were okay with
forgetting about Kazu, because that's something even I could do by hardening
my heart.
But that's not it. Even while experiencing such extreme feelings, Aya Otonashi
can flawlessly pursue her goal.
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Intermission
I can't do that.
Impossible.
"Argh!"
Even worse—I might lose my ability to resist the pain caused by the 'Shadows of
Sin', even though I accepted that pain in order to [control] others. The 'Shadows
of Sin' shriek and rage whenever I leave them an opening. And they're only
getting worse.
I clench my teeth. Aah, dammit! It feels like bullets are running through my
veins. Why does self-inflicted pain hurt so much?
Will my 'Shadow of Sin and Punishment' break after I've watched the next
movie? ...Haha, can I even hold out until the movie starts? Maybe I'll be ruined
even before that. The pain is unbearable; awaiting my inevitable ruin is equally
unbearable.
I touch my piercing. I want to change. I don't want to revert to the fool that I
used to be. I want to keep offering resistance against this godforsaken world.
But,
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Intermission
But,
But, in reality—
Light. Darkness. Sea. World. Hotel. Womb. Joined hands. Tears. Victory. World.
Skin. Cold. Cold. Catcher's mitt on my left hand. Numbness. Difference in talent.
Envy. Dream. Confession. Anxiety. Cigarettes. Burns. Shivers. Fear. Hatred.
Hatred. Hatred. Hatred. Hatred. Hatred. Hatred. Sin. Punishment. Justice. Sin for
justice. Piercing.
When did I create a hole in my ear? That thought forces me to recall the person I
hate the most. Miyuki Karino.
Rino was unable to repent for what she had done. She didn't realize that she had
done something wrong. I had to make that clear to her. I couldn't hold off on
teaching her a lesson for what she had done to Kiri; doing so was the only way
for me to live with the unfairness of the world. That's why I acted the way I did. I
decided not to forgive her until she showed regret. But Rino wasn't aware of her
guilt; she could only offer superficial apologies. Because of that, I couldn't forgive
her, nor did I intend to. "Please tell me what I have to do!" Why can't you come
up with that yourself? "I love you. I did what I did because I've always been in
love you, Dai-chan." Stop fucking with me. Are you trying to make me feel sorry
for you? No, you're not, are you? You're blaming me. I'm the very thing that
makes Kiri suffer, that's what you're trying to tell me, you piece of shit. Before I
knew it, I was beating Rino. I couldn't believe what I was doing. Attacking a
childhood friend of mine didn't feel real. Resorting to violence caused my mind
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Intermission
to separate from reality. Even though I could feel the violence I was doing, it was
like an out of body experience. That guy beating Rino wasn't me; it was a
stranger dwelling within me who had defied my control. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm
sorry!" You don't say sorry to someone who hurts you, damn it!
I know. I'm perfectly aware of the nightmare Rino went through in that hotel. I
know how Rino feels about me. I know she has lots of strengths: she's cheerful,
sociable, considerate, sympathetic, and she's delighted by good things and
saddened by bad things. I know she's not a bad person. Yet, I can't forgive her. I
can't. I can't forgive her. That's why a conflict occurred. Even though attacking
her was anathema, I had to do it. Consequently, I fractured my mental
perception of Rino and erased the part that caused the conflict. I forgot that we
had been friends since childhood.
I dyed my hair and got a piercing. I wanted to become a different person from
the old "Daiya Oomine." If my sociability was the reason for what had happened
to Kiri, I wanted to destroy it.
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Intermission
The only thing that distinguishes me from your run-of-the-mill person is that I
look at things from a more abstract viewpoint.
I finally manage to push back the 'Shadows of Sin' and regain control of myself.
"......It's nothing."
If I can't handle my feelings, I can just suppress and keep ignoring them. I don't
have to confront them head-on like Aya does. I've always known how to sidestep
my emotions, and thanks to my workaround, I'm able to think rationally. That's a
great weapon. I should be proud of my qualities.
"Aya. Getting back to your proposal, I agree that we should make use of the
'Flawed Bliss' to defeat Kazu. Do you already have a specific plan?"
"No, not yet. I've only just come up with that idea, after all."
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Intermission
"I'm pretty sure that making you lose your memory will prove effective. But
there's no point unless we let him know about it, right?"
"He would find out about it soon enough even if we didn't, right?"
"Soon enough for you, maybe, but I don't have time. I need to confront him
directly with your memory loss."
"Yeah, we'll have to use the 'Flawed Bliss' right before his eyes."
"While it is possible to slip into a 'box', it's impossible to get out. I'm in here now,
so that means that we'll have to—"
"Call him into the 'Wish-Crushing Cinema'," I say as I complete her sentence.
"But how do we do that? It's much more beneficial for our enemy to hide
somewhere safe and wait for your 'box' to break. Hoshino just needs to wait
another two hours or so. I don't think he would risk coming here."
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Intermission
"It depends on what Kazu does next, but right now the three of us are the only
ones here. Which means that there's only one real candidate," I say while
looking at Yanagi.
"Huh?"
"Great news, isn't it, Yanagi? You've just gotten a new role and regained some
value!"
"Eh? Huh? Ah..." she mutters, turning pale as she realizes what I'm driving at.
I see. Her rules remain the same even when she's made up her mind—she
doesn't privilege efficacy over avoiding the use of others?
I immediately realize that she won't give in, so I use some empty words to
smooth this matter over for now.
To be honest, it's a breeze for me to make Yanagi ask for help since I have
absorbed her 'Shadows of Sin'. She suffered deep scars during the 'Game of
Idleness'; since her sin is worse than most people's, simply rubbing a bit of salt
into that wound will do.
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Of course, Yanagi isn't the only candidate. I could use any of Kazu's friends to
make Aya lose her memories of him.
However, I can't blindly hope that someone will show up. Yanagi is necessary
since we need a guaranteed sacrifice.
"We'll bring Kazu into the 'Wish-Crushing Cinema' before the last movie ends,
and then we'll use the 'Flawed Bliss' on one of his friends before his eyes. Now
how do we actually accomplish this?"
"Yeah. You stated that doing so wouldn't be difficult; could you elaborate?"
How about threatening to kill Aya if he doesn't abandon the 'Cinema'? I don't
know if the threat is credible or not, but Kazu is likely to obey if Aya's involved,
even if the threat seems fishy.
So can I use the 'Shadow of Sin and Punishment' and communicate that threat to
him? That would work, but it might be surprisingly difficult to reach him in the
time I have left. Jeez, if I had the help of 'O' it would be no prob———
———No, wait. I'm forgetting something important. How did Kazu obtain the
'Wish-Crushing Cinema', anyway?
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He obviously received his 'box' from 'O'. He asked 'O' for help in order to defeat
me.
I know for sure that 'O' gave him a 'box'. Unless they have become enemies since
then, I have to account for the possibility that they're cooperating.
Let's pretend that I executed my plan to threaten him with Aya's death. Even if I
succeeded in communicating my threat, isn't it possible that 'O' might reveal that
it's just a bluff if she doesn't like the direction that things are taking? Can I rule
that out?
'O' isn't quite omniscient, but she seems to be aware of almost everything that
happens. If I blurt out my plan, chances are that 'O' will become aware of it.
However, 'O' can't read minds. I can hide my intentions if I keep silent about
them; she's no more than human in that respect.
In other words, I have to make Kazu come here of his own accord, while making
'O' believe that things are going well for Kazu and hiding my true plan from Aya.
"Oomine, you've relapsed into silence. Are you having trouble coming up with a
plan?"
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Intermission
Ruin.
"But what would I do if you learned about the 'boxes' and obtained one
nevertheless? I would not take it from you. I'd oppose every other 'owner', but I
might not oppose you."
"Maybe I'd team up with you again—No, that's out of the question. I wouldn't
cooperate with you. Nor would I want to interfere in any way. Our aims just
happen to lie in the same direction. We were never supposed to become
partners. Yes, in reality, we are—"
Those sudden memories of what she said to me in that movie... no, during one of
those endless iterations, are confounding me.
For Kazu, 'Aya Otonashi' is an enemy. He wants to bring Aya—no, in this context I
ought to call her Maria—into his everyday life, and because 'Aya Otonashi' is the
reason that Maria calls herself a 'box' and has given up on being human, she
represents the greatest obstacle to his goal.
However, for me it's quite the opposite. I don't want her to be 'Maria Otonashi.'
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Intermission
"......"
I don't?
Why?
Because Aya's goal and mine are similar? Because we're cooperating? Because
we were also cooperating within the 'Rejecting Classroom'? ...I feel like I'm still
missing something. None of those possibilities feel quite right.
My need for her is more fundamental than that, which means that it must be
related to my goal.
There's no need for me to be the one who accomplishes my goal. In the near
future, I will break under the burden of my sins, and I won't have achieved my
goal by then. But I don't mind. I don't mind as long as there is someone who
takes on my will like Shindou, and the world eventually changes for the better. I
don't care if I die, hated by everyone and treated like trash.
If she manages to fulfill her wish for a world where everyone is happy, my own
goal will be achieved as well. If her wish comes true, mine does as well.
The way she lives her life makes me believe that her wish might actually come
true, even though hers is far more difficult to achieve than mine.
Her aloofness.
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Her nobility.
Her correctness.
Her integrity.
That's why she has the same name as 'O'. She is a being that grants the 'wishes'
of all people.
I can't forgive Kazuki Hoshino for trampling on our 'wishes' for a reason as
mundane as wanting to be with "Maria"; for such selfishness.
For the sake of all: I'll deceive Aya, 'O' and whoever else it takes, and throw Kazu
into the depths of despair.
Kazu.
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Intermission
Nothing has changed within me, and yet I have clearly changed.
All that happened was that I came to understand myself better; I've read my
own manual, so to speak. But that was enough to change my world. My whole
body feels refreshed somehow, as though someone has poured menthol into my
bloodstream. My mind becomes clearer minute by minute and everything
muddying up my thoughts has disappeared.
That's the change that occurred within me after I obtained the 'Empty Box'.
That's the first thing Haruaki says, his face chalky white, after he enters this
tunnel. We're under an elevated railway that runs along the river on the
outskirts of the city. His eyes are fixed on Iroha-san. She's passed out and is
leaning against a wall covered with obscene graffiti that couldn't be further
removed from "street art."
"She's alive!"
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Intermission
Both the ground and the wall are splattered with a red liquid, as are her clothes
and her face.
"A-Artificial? Really?"
Haruaki squats down, touches the red liquid on the ground, and sniffs it. At first
he wrinkles his brow, but he realizes that I was telling the truth and nods lightly a
few times.
"Y-Yeah, that's not blood. But still, how did this happen? Why is she out like a
light?"
He closely examines her face and checks her breath and pulse. From where I am
standing, it's hard to make out her face because our source of light is a dim
lantern.
What have I done to Iroha-san? Explaining that would take way too long, so I
decide to answer just the first half of his question.
Haruaki knows how serious this is, so he stands up with a frown and gazes at me.
"Why didn't you call me before it came to this? Don't you trust me enough to
rely on me?" he asks in a threatening tone. His height allows him to be quite
intimidating when he pressures me like this.
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"I do! I just couldn't call you because I was told to come alone." Even as I speak, I
realize that that's not the only reason. "...No, I wouldn't have called you even if I
hadn't been told that."
"But why?!" he shouts, vexed beyond belief that he wasn't able to stand by my
side in my time of need.
"Huh?"
Otherwise, I wouldn't have pulled him into this affair to begin with; I wouldn't be
blaming myself for telling him about the 'boxes'
"You were with Kokone, weren't you? I wanted you to keep protecting her! You
know why, don't you?"
"Ah..." Haruaki scratches his cheek abashedly. "Right... We thought that Daiyan
would attack Kiri next."
"Yeah, chances were that this affair was just a red herring that Daiya set up."
Yes. We were sure that Daiya would aim for Kokone. We thought that Kokone
was in more danger than Maria or I.
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Intermission
We thought that Daiya would have noticed by now that I'm not the 'owner' of
the 'Wish-Crushing Cinema', and once that happened, he would attack its
'owner' before anyone else.
But he didn't.
"So Daiyan still hasn't realized who the real 'owner' is?"
The 'Wish-Crushing Cinema' exists for the sole purpose of destroying Daiya's
'box'.
He should have grasped its nature when Yuuri-san entered the cinema, because
it's still only his past that's being displayed.
But then why hasn't he noticed that I'm not the 'owner'?
It's certainly possible that I would obtain a 'box'; as a matter of fact, I intended to
reach out to 'O' and defeat Daiya with a 'box' if worse came to worst. Again,
that'd only be in the worst case scenario, but I did plan for that contingency.
But even if I did obtain one, I wouldn't be able to wish for something like that.
My 'box' would never be something like the 'Wish-Crushing Cinema.' I can't
choose a 'box' that only saves Daiya.
I mean, such a box is only possible for someone who thinks about no one but
Daiya from the bottom of his or her heart, isn't it?
It's impossible unless you're someone almost blindly fixated on Daiya, right?
40
Intermission
There is no way I could deal with that. I consider him my friend and value our
friendship, but I'm afraid my feelings for him are not strong enough to leave me
blind to the rest of the world. I'm unable to embrace a 'wish' that is limited only
to him and no one else.
If he had properly confronted himself with the question of who the 'owner' of
that 'box' is rather than avoiding the issue, he would have realized as much.
But he couldn't.
Why?
If he can't even realize who the true 'owner' of the 'Cinema' is, it's clear that
Daiya's methods are flawed. If he can't even recognize the person who has such
strong feelings for him, it's clear that he's mistaken. Because Daiya is trying to
become cold-hearted, he is deliberately shutting that person out of his mind.
He's closing his mind, blinding himself.
He claims that he wants to correct the world even if he has to pay with his life?
"......hehe..."
Hilarious.
That's stupid.
41
Intermission
A blind man wants to lead the way? I bet he'll end up wandering off in the wrong
direction—he's only going to make things worse.
"......"
She was also wrong. She also tried to take Maria away from me.
I told Haruaki that Iroha-san's alive—and that's true—but I did steal her raison
d'être. She might not be able to recover, as the miserable image she presents
may well portend.
But so what?
".........hehehe..."
His despair will be orders of magnitude greater than Iroha-san's, for his 'wish'
originates from within himself. He won't be able to recover when he finds out
that his 'wish' won't ever come true. On top of that, he's responsible for Koudai
Kamiuchi's death. A cruel reality is awaiting Daiya once he can't escape anymore.
42
Intermission
I don't give a shit about a blind man's 'wish'. It's his own fault if he dwindles into
misery when his 'box' is crushed. You madman—you reap what you sow, don't
you?
So.
43
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KOKONE (MONOLOGUE)
KOKONE (MONOLOGUE)
KOKONE (MONOLOGUE)
45
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KOKONE
Mm... ahh...
KOKONE (MONOLOGUE)
KOKONE (MONOLOGUE)
KOKONE (MONOLOGUE)
46
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KOKONE (MONOLOGUE)
DAIYA
Kokone.
KOKONE
Mmm?
KOKONE (MONOLOGUE)
47
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DAIYA
KOKONE
KOKONE (MONOLOGUE)
KOKONE (MONOLOGUE)
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3. RIVERSIDE - DUSK
KOKONE (MONOLOGUE)
KOKONE (MONOLOGUE)
KOKONE (MONOLOGUE)
KOKONE (MONOLOGUE)
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DAIYA
KOKONE
You're cold.
KOKONE (MONOLOGUE)
50
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While we still didn't know what to do next, we left the underpass to avoid
coming across any [servants]. It would be a bad idea to stay there any longer.
We had no choice but to leave Iroha-san behind. Of course we didn't want to,
but the artificial blood would have made us look way too suspicious if we carried
her home; plus, we would lose precious time. I regretted it, but she'd have to
hang on for two hours until we could put an end to this battle.
Haruaki suddenly and uneasily says, "......Um, Hoshii, I'm not sure if I should tell
you, but..."
"You've got one hell of a scary look right now! I bet you've gotten really cross
with Daiyan, haven't you? Leaving that senior girl behind makes perfect sense,
too, but you were totally cold when you did it..."
"Huh?"
Was I?
I didn't notice myself...but I guess it's true. Something's definitely not right with
me at the moment, considering that I just silently called Daiya a blind bastard.
"I guess it's natural to lose it when he stole Maria-chan from you, but if you don't
calm down, you might lose ground, no?"
"Yeah."
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Calm down, Kazuki. Calm down and come up with a way to get Maria back.
"...Yeah."
Of course I also want to save Daiya if possible, but if I think about Maria right
now, I can't help but get angry at him. I can't keep myself from thinking that such
cheap pity would only get in my way.
On the other hand, if I avoid thinking about Daiya, I might end up defeated. But
yes...I'd better think about something else now, about something that lets me
forget about my anger. And that's— "......Kokone."
Right.
In that case, the first thing that comes to mind is Kokone Kirino.
Two days ago on the evening of September 9th, Kokone called me into her room.
It was the first time I'd seen it. The room was steeped in dark colors and seemed
superficially stylish. However, it also made a strange impression on me. In a way,
the room seemed to lack coherence and its style seemed fake; a room like that
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Scene 4 - Piercing at Fifteen (1/3)
really didn't suit Kokone. I could sense some sort of artificial obligation on her
part that drove her to live in such a room.
Well, I couldn't help thinking that way, knowing what I did about Kokone.
Kokone has decided to abandon her denial of Daiya and engage with him
instead.
Thank God.
I had planned to tell her about Daiya either way. No... I had no other choice.
Disregarding Kokone or keeping her in the dark in a fight against Daiya would be
impossible.
Thus, I was grateful that she had made up her mind and prepared herself of her
own accord. After all, the things I had to tell her were sorrowful topics that I
would have rather kept silent about.
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When I finished my explanation, she just kept gazing at the wall behind me in a
completely dumbfounded manner.
Since all she would do was breathe rhythmically without displaying any other
reaction, I left for the time being.
The following day, she told to come to her bedroom once more. When we
greeted each other, I noticed that her eyelids were swollen, but apart from that
she looked like she always did.
But once I had closed the bedroom door, she immediately started undoing her
shirt buttons.
It was all so sudden that I couldn't react properly. I should have looked away, but
I just stood there, flabbergasted.
With a deadpan look throughout, she finished removing everything from her
upper body except for her bra. She then turned around and showed me her
back.
"Look!"
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It was a burn scar, most likely inflicted with a cigarette pushed against her skin.
And not just once; there were so many grim and violent burn marks all over her
back, it looked as if someone had dumped a giant heap of trash on a pure white
snowfield.
And all those burn marks formed meaningful phrases; the obscene kind that
you'd be hard pressed to find in even the filthiest of public toilets.
"———"
Squashed.
"Uh..uh..."
Thoughts like "poor Kokone, it must have hurt, they won't ever completely
disappear, that must be why they broke up" only came up later. At that moment,
my only possible response to the sight of those marks was to burst into tears.
Kokone turned around to face me. Ignoring my overflowing tears, she cheerfully
said:
55
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"You're a lucky guy, Kazu-kun, aren't you? Getting to see a hot girl with E-cups in
her undies!"
"A childhood friend of mine named Rino did that to me," Kokone said as she
rebuttoned her shirt. "As you know, Daiya had great looks and superb grades; he
was very popular back in the day—to the point where some people called him
the prince of our school, in fact. He wasn't always so gruff and didn't used to
have silver-dyed hair and piercings. Oh, I was such a poor match for him. I looked
really drab, with my totally unstyled black hair and lame, oversized glasses.
Pretty much a plain old run-of-the-mill girl. You'd totally laugh if I showed you a
picture! ...Although I can't laugh myself."
I shook my head.
"It doesn't matter if you're a good match or a bad match! I'm sure Daiya didn't
care."
"Mm, he didn't mind at all!" Kokone finished buttoning up her shirt and looked
at me. "It's the girls who had fallen for Daiya who cared."
"...Did that girl you mentioned, um, Rino, care about whether you were right for
him?"
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"So...?"
"Err, let me tell you one thing at a time. First off, a couple of things about Rino:
She's one year younger than me and was also one of Daiya's childhood friends.
The thing is, she'd also liked Daiya for a long time, although I fell in love with him
first. But she gave up on him and started dating a boy named Kamiuchi. The
person...Daiya killed."
That was a surprise. I hadn't known about their backstory. Daiya's reactions to
Koudai Kamiuchi within the 'Game of Idleness' seemed relatively mild, all things
considered.
But given the final outcome, it's easy to suspect that their common history might
have driven Daiya to choose a murderous resolution to that game.
"Kamiuchi did a horrible thing to Rino, and I don't really get why he did it. Rino
was still deeply hurt, so she tried to ease her wounds by demanding Daiya's
attention.
But you know, Daiya and I were already a couple by then. He loved me, not her.
He was gentle with her, but they'd never be more than friends. When Rino
realized that, her wounds got even worse. She kind of went psycho after that.
She somehow got mad at me because in her mind, I'd snatched him away from
her."
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Scene 4 - Piercing at Fifteen (1/3)
"Rino claimed that she only started dating Kamiuchi because I'd stolen Daiya
from her, so I was responsible for what Kamiuchi did to her. At that point, Rino
really believed that I was to blame for everything."
"Yeah, but I don't think she would have gone that far if she had been alone."
"Right, there were several people involved. You see...I think the problem was
that there were lots of people around Rino who could share in her hate and
escalate in even further. It was unfortunate that no one realized that Rino was
out of her mind, so things escalated from there."
"Yeah. They didn't just have a problem with it...they seemed to think that I had
committed an unforgivable sin. I was some kind of wicked witch who was
keeping their prince all to myself!"
"What the... but that's stupid, no matter how you look at it. You didn't do
anything wrong."
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"It doesn't matter whether I was wrong or not. A bunch of people were annoyed
by me, so they wanted to do something about it. That's all. It doesn't matter if
they were just jealous. It's much easier to attack someone you don't like if you
tell yourself she's evil."
"How could they think you were evil when you hadn't done anything wrong?"
"That's simple; they just created some trumped up reasons. You know, things
like 'ew, that girl doesn't greet us properly' or 'she's arrogant' or 'she's acting like
a bitch' or 'she wants to use Daiya to show off' or 'she seduced him with her
body'. They come up with whatever they feel like. And then when they had their
group trash-talkathons, they could egg each other on and make me out to be a
figure of evil. People instinctively do stuff like that without really thinking about
it. They create a fake enemy and then take the offensive to vent their
annoyance."
Suddenly, the two classmates who had spoken out against Kokone came to
mind.
As far as I could tell, they were also badmouthing Kokone out of jealousy. They
got ticked off because she's popular with the boys and villified her to relieve
their irritation. It might have also pissed them off that Kokone was on good
terms with Daiya.
"You know, Rino only went so far overboard because she was encouraged by the
people around her. They weren't even aware of how evil their acts were. They
thought it was right to teach a devil like me a lesson. Who knows, maybe they
even thought they were performing an act of justice? One thing is clear: They
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didn't realize what they were doing. And that's what made them lose touch with
reality."
"What the...that's obviously just ridiculous if you possess even the slightest bit of
objectivity..."
"...Stopped thinking?"
Aah.
He thinks that it's the mindless fools who destroyed their happiness, and
because of that, he wants to create a world without them using a 'box'. So that
what happened to Kokone won't ever occur again.
"I think it was about a month later that they finally came to their senses. A few
of them even apologized to me after realizing what they had done. But what's
the point? Why would I forgive them? My burns won't go away thanks to an
apology, will they? There would have only been a point if they came to their
senses before doing that to me! How dare they try to relieve their guilt by
apologizing? ...When I said something along these lines to them, they actually
complained that I was horrible for treating them like that when they were
apologizing. Well, fuck'em, those filthy whores!"
Of course, Kokone was still crying while spitting out such vulgarities.
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"I can't return to who I was, no matter how much they apologize. I can't return
to the time when I didn't hate anyone."
She continues.
"Why?"
"Mm?"
"Why did you need to split up? He still loved you even with those silly marks on
your back, didn't he? I mean, didn't he care for you? Why did you have to split
up?"
She gazed at the ceiling as she sniveled. I gathered that she was trying to
organizing her thoughts.
Only then did I realize that my question might have been cruel. Was there really
a point in asking her that? After all, their unwilling split-up is already set in stone.
Explaining why it happened is bound to be painful.
"Huh?"
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I thought that she was just kidding around like she normally did. I thought that
she was trying to evade my question.
I had no idea why she was so desperate, but could read from her face that I
wasn't allowed to answer flippantly.
"Really?"
"Yeah. I'm not engaging in flattery, I really do think so. And I'm not the only one;
you're popular with the boys from our school, aren't you? Didn't you tell me the
other day that the number of confessions you've gotten was in the two-digit
range?"
"You're right. I'm totally popular. At the moment, my value is higher than that of
that blatantly rowdy and delinquent Daiya, right! Hell, I'm a luscious high school
girl! With an E-cup at that! I'm invincible!" However, the grin she had frantically
assumed while engaging in self-praise disappeared instantly, and her lips started
to tremble. "......But it's no use."
"N-No use...?"
"I can't get rid of the impression that I'm just a fugly bitch. I can't help feeling like
a worthless pig."
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"I know! I'm sure I'm pretty cute! I know! I worked hard to become like this, after
all! I went to such lengths because I thought it would get better if I really became
popular!" Kokone grabs roughly at my arms. "But it was no use...! Those feelings
don't go away even though I realize that it's just in my head! I can't help but feel
ugly! The impression that Daiya and I don't match and that I'm a worthless
person won't disappear! Objective facts and popular esteem have no effect!"
"B-But why?"
"It was inevitable! Do you think that it wouldn't have any effect on me when
people honestly think that I'm a wicked devil? Even worse, I used to be a shy and
silent girl, don't you understand what that means? Do you think I could in all
honesty still think positively of myself after being treated like shit, burned with
cigarettes and told off as a devil, a bitch, a whore? I can't! I couldn't! Can you
imagine a whole bunch of people doing horrible things to you? Who
are seriously thinking that you're just scum who deserves it? Of course I would
start to think so, too! Of course I would think that I deserve it! That was the only
way to put up with all that stuff! Those marks have stolen all my self-confidence,
self-respect, and everything I hold dear!"
"I thought that my self-hate would drive me into my grave. So, I, so, I—" Kokone
wiped her tears away. "I had to overcome it!"
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That's why Kokone started wearing contact lenses and dyed her hair; she tried to
become fashionable. She tried to take on a cheerful personality and become
popular—and succeeded. She tried to regain self-confidence by looking down on
the people who spoke ill of her.
But at the end of the day, the shadow that had rooted itself in her heart didn't
disappear. She couldn't regain the things the marks had stolen from her.
And—
Her past and Daiya were so closely linked, that there was no way around
abandoning Daiya—her past—as well.
Kokone finally noticed how tightly she was gripping my arms and released me.
I shook my head.
"I didn't want to split up with Daiya, either, but there was no other choice. It's
unbearable even if he just hugs me, seriously; my entire past leaps at me when
he does, intimidating me like a giant menacing truck. My back fires up and starts
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to ache like when they burned me, and then I feel I'm a worthless person. I can't
help it. So... being with him is agonizing."
—That's terrible.
Suddenly, Kokone said to me, "Hey, Kazu-kun, you once confessed to me, didn't
you?"
"Uh-eh?"
Why is she bringing up that ancient history? I looked her in the face, but I
couldn't read her intentions from her smile.
I never confessed to her. Well, I technically did, but it was really the act of a girl
who took control over my body.
"I was thrown for a loop! Unlike all the other confessions I've received, I was
happy about yours. I thought that becoming your girlfriend might be the right
choice. You wouldn't care about the burns on my back, after all, and you'd
accept me as I am."
"...Um, Kokone—" I said, but she continued before I could explain anything.
"I thought that Daiya might finally be able to move on, too."
I held my breath. Not quite sure what to say, I just waited for her to continue.
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For whatever reason, Kokone put on a mischievous smile when she saw my
confusion.
"I totally didn't expect that Mari-mari had a hand in your confession, though!"
...come to think of it, we never corrected the excuse that we came up with to
explain that situation.
"I-I'm sorry...Um, to tell you the truth, it was actually because of someone else's
'box'. The explanation Maria gave you was just a convenient white lie..."
"...Aaah...I see, a 'box', was it! Now it finally adds up. Man, those 'boxes' sure
cause a lot of trouble, don't they? ...But I guess in retrospect, I'm grateful? I think
it was necessary for me to earnestly think about going out with you, Kazu-kun."
"Say, do you remember that I burst into tears during our music class?"
"Yeah."
That was the incident when I was getting a beating from Daiya after I regained
control of my body. Afterwards I learned that the 'owner' had not only made me
confess to Kokone, but even urged her to respond.
"You know, Daiya and I, we thought that it would be best for us if we started
seeing other people. We really intended to do so when we found a worthy
opportunity. And that opportunity arose when you confessed to me. I imagined
myself going out with you and Daiya dating a different girl. But when I looked at
Daiya while thinking those thoughts—"
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She contorted her face in a painfully bitter and sorrowful manner and said:
I was sure she wanted to deny her feelings. Over and over. That's what her bitter
expression conveyed to me.
For if she admitted it, she would no longer be able to wish for Daiya to become
happy with someone else.
"I realized that my feelings for him wouldn't go away if I went out with you,
Kazu-kun. And I kinda also realized that it was the same for Daiya. Our problem
won't be resolved until I return to who I used to be. As long as I can't accept him
like I used to. Even if it's a hopeless cause, that's the only way."
A tragedy.
The world around them changed, but they couldn't. They couldn't accept reality.
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"So he obtained a 'box'. But doesn't that—" unable to bear it any longer, Kokone
pressed her forehead against my shoulder. "Doesn't that mean it's my fault that
Daiya's life has gone off the rails?!"
"I'll do anything. I'll do anything if I can save him. If we need a 'box', I'll do it!
Take my life and do whatever you want!"
Had it not been Daiya but Kokone who resorted to a 'box' first, it would have led
to a different yet similar tragedy.
Aah. Let's pretend that incident with Kokone's back never happened.
There would have been no problem with their romance; it would have stayed
enviably perfect. No ugliness would have existed. They would have been happy
with each other.
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All it would have taken was one fewer mistake. What if Rino hadn't been Daiya's
childhood friend? What if Rino hadn't gone out with Koudai Kamiuchi? What if
he hadn't done that horrible thing to Rino? What if Kokone and Daiya had hidden
their relationship? What if Kokone had had a slightly bolder personality? What if
there had been someone who stepped in to stop the bullying? What if Daiya had
noticed Rino's absurd plan? What if Haruaki had been more open about his
affection for Kokone? What if I had known them since middle school? Just a tiny
difference could have changed fate, and we might have been laughing together
right now about the past.
Even as such thoughts come to me for the first time, I realize that Kokone and
Daiya must have thought about those what ifs a thousand times, and they must
have hated this world for ruining them. But for the smallest "what if…"
That is the true reason Daiya is fighting his losing battle of correcting a world he
doesn't even care about.
"Kokone."
"Mm?" she muttered as she pressed her forehead against my shoulder again.
"I would use it for Daiya! I would wish for a world where we can be happy!"
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That 'wish' won't come true, and Kokone must be aware of that.
"But I'm a bit uneasy: Could I use it without putting any strange stray thoughts
into it?"
She finally raised her head, wearing a weak smile, and said something to me that
was enough to convince me that she could never return to who she used to be.
"Could I fulfill that 'wish' without also wishing for everyone but Daiya to go to
hell?"
"Ah, no no! Sorry! I don't want you to die of course! Ah-uh, Haru-kun neither! I
totally think the world of Haru-kun, really!"
She quickly and not quite successfully tried to gloss over her initial statement.
Because she said she was fond of Haruaki, I inadvertently replied with the
following question:
I immediately realized: Aah... Kokone was perfectly aware of his feelings for her.
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"I did!" she said in a cheerful unaffected tone. "But it's no good. Haru-kun knows
my past."
"What's with that queer look you're giving me, Hoshii?" Haruaki says to me with
a frown as we walk along some godforsaken street.
—Oh, but you know? I don't have those feelings for her anymore.
—Don't mind me if you want to go out with Kiri, Hoshii! You guys would make a
great match.
Did he know that he can't save her? That he would only make her suffer like
Daiya has because they know about her past?
Is that why, like Kokone and Daiya, he told me that I should go out with Kokone?
Is that why, like Kokone and Daiya, he has no other choice but to disregard his
own feelings?
"...Haruaki...?" I ask something else instead. "You said that Kokone is broken,
didn't you?"
My words seem to have surprised him; he unwittingly stares at me. But after
taking a deep breath, he regains his smile.
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"Yeah, I did."
Haruaki puts his hand under his chin and thinks for a few moments.
"If for example, you saw someone drowning before your eyes and you could
easily save him, would you do it? Please imagine it and answer me seriously."
I imagine someone drowning in the sea, a boy who is desperately screaming and
flailing about. I am carrying a life preserver and could save him without any
personal risk.
"Why?"
That's self-evident.
"Oh..."
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I was caught by surprise. Given the course of our conversation thus far, I was
quite sure she would reply differently.
"But when I asked her the same question, she first asked the following:" He
smiles bitterly. "Who is the person?"
At first, I fail to understand what's wrong with her question, but then I start
realizing that something's off about it.
"Normally, you would save that person unconditionally if you can. Because
normally, you'd imagine it's someone weak who deserves and needs your help."
Some people might ask the same question as Kokone did without any deeper
meaning.
But if Kokone had casually asked that question, Haruaki wouldn't be mentioning
it now. He noticed something abnormal.
"But Kiri doesn't just think it's someone who needs her help. She starts by
worrying that it might be a trap, set to hurt her. Kiri can't even save someone
from drowning until she knows whether it's an enemy or not. Imagine how
suspicious she has become of the world. And that ties her hands, even though
she would regret letting that person die as much as we would."
Maybe he had guessed to a certain degree that she would answer like that?
Maybe he had acquired a certain understanding of Kokone and wanted to
confirm it by posing that question?
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After all, Haruaki has a much deeper understanding of the darkness surrounding
her than I, even though I have heard about it from her firsthand. There's no way
he could acquire such insight without still deeply caring about her.
"As long as Kiri can't put herself first, she won't change."
I'm sure Haruaki is hoping that things are different for her sake. Not that he
wants to date Kokone, but that her relationship with Daiya could resume. He is
wishing for her to become happy with the man she loves and loves her back.
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Is there a solution?
But even if they used a 'box' that could grant any 'wish', that's impossible.
What they need is to build a new, ideal...or at least stable, set of relationships.
But I still fail to see a solution, and I'm sure they don't either.
I don't see a goal we can strive for, so there's nothing I can work toward.
The one thing I know is that as long as Daiya's 'Shadow of Sin and Punishment'
exists, they can't move forward.
Aah, but that's not an excuse. I'm not trying to fool myself anymore.
I act only for Maria's sake, and not for my friends Daiya, Kokone and Haruaki. I'm
not going to crush the 'Shadow of Sin and Punishment' for their sake; I'm only
doing it in order to save Maria.
Saving them is out of my hands. I can only pray that the final outcome of my
efforts will happen to make them happy as well.
I pray, hoping that my prayers will lead the way to a novel solution.
"......Mm?"
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"Nothing."
"Hm...I guess the safest choice would be: wait for the 'Wish-Crushing Cinema' to
end."
"Probably, yeah."
But neither of us feels confident. We know all too well that Daiya expects us to
play the waiting game. Therefore, he will definitely go on the offensive to
destroy the 'Wish-Crushing Cinema' with his native cunning and his 'box'.
Time is getting short, so he may choose desperate measures. He will try to hunt
me down with the 'Shadow of Sin and Punishment'. He will activate the
thousand [servants] who he used before when searching for me and Maria.
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But his next [order] won't be anything as harmless as a scare tactic. In the worst
case, he might [order] them to kill the one he believes to be the 'owner'. He
might try to kill me. He might use his thousand [servants] for a direct attack.
They say a cornered rat will bite, but Daiya couldn't be less rat-like. I may have
cornered him, but he's a lion. One small slip and he might turn the tables at the
very last moment and crush me to death in his jaws.
"Hm...no, I guess our only option is to hide. He can't attack if he can't find you,
right?" Haruaki says. He's correct. "I mean, it's almost impossible to find
someone who's hiding within two hours, even with a thousand searchers. They
can't leverage the Internet properly either, at least in such a brief span of time...
And if we hide, we'll hide together with Kiri, okay? We don't know when Daiyan
will start to wonder if she's the 'owner'. ...Ooh! I was just rattling on, but that
might be a great idea, actually! I think we'll be OK if we hide where she is right
now!"
We brought her there after hearing the details about the 'Shadow of Sin and
Punishment' from Yuuri-san. We thought that it would be harder for the
[servants] to find her if she hid with a casual acquaintance rather than being on
the move. Daiya doesn't know about that connection, let alone the location of
that dorm.
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Indeed, we should have no problem holding out there for two hours.
"Daiya won't let us stay hidden." He won't let such a situation come to pass. "He
will do something to lure us out. Should he use Maria to threaten me again, I'll
have no choice but to play along."
"Uh, I see..."
"...mm? But..." I say, as an idea pops into my head midsentence, "...yes, we just
have to make sure he can't threaten us...?"
Haruaki tilts his head. "Hm? What do you mean? It's up to him if he wants to
threaten us or not, no?"
"...? Uh, how does that keep him from threatening us?"
"You can only threaten someone if you can get in touch with him. No matter
how much you want to order someone to do something, you simply can't as long
as you can't reach him, right?"
"Hm? Well, yeah, but if Daiyan were about to harm Maria-chan, she would be in
danger whether or not he reached you, wouldn't she? Aren't you just ignoring
the risk she's in by covering your ears?"
"But Daiya doesn't actually want to harm Maria, right? That's only a pretext to
lure me out! If he can't make that threat to begin with, there's no point in laying
hands on her."
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"...I see."
"Therefore, I'll hide as you suggested, and then I'll arrange things so that Daiya
can't get a message to us. Once I've done that..."
"...Daiyan will no longer be able to call you out and you can hide and wait! ...Er,
that means that Kiri and I also have to turn off our cells. He could also try to use
us to reach you, after all. All right! I'm going to e-mail Kiri to turn hers off, then
I'll also turn off my phone."
I suddenly wonder if I should have realized this sooner. Maybe that would have
made our lives a lot easier?
That strategy would have worked if I'd been on my own, but back then I had to
protect Maria. I couldn't just bury my head in the sand without putting her at
risk.
Ironically, this method only works because of Maria's absence, and because I'm
just as cornered as Daiya.
"Okay. Let's join Kokone ASAP before the [servants] find us."
"Haruaki?"
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He ignores my question and pokes at his cell phone with look of deadly
seriousness. He loads his 1seg[1] TV app and stares at the screen.
"...Kiri sent me an e-mail and told me to turn on the TV. Whatever it was, it was
only on for a few seconds anyway. She must be pretty confused, too."
He falls silent again, but after a few moments he finds what he was looking for
and raises his head.
"...Hoshii. Looks like we were a hair too late," Haruaki says as he holds out his
cell phone.
It's displaying a news program from a video site; the weather forecast, to be
exact, broadcast live with a city in the background.
"——Huh..."
A naked woman. A skinny, fifty year old brunette is crawling on all fours and
barking. There's something written in large letters with a permanent marker on
her body below her pendulous breasts, but it's hard to make out because of
what she's doing.
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It's only displayed for an instant, though; the camera pans away instantly and the
show moves back to the studio. The video ends there.
"...Hoshii, can we really keep ignoring Daiyan if he's even willing to use the TV to
threaten you? ...We can't, can we?"
"Yeah... we can't."
Let's pretend Daiya ordered one of his [servants] to announce on TV that Maria
Otonashi will be killed if I don't come to the cinema. In that case, he wouldn't
care if the message reached me or not, because he could carry out his threat on
the assumption that I saw his message.
If I keep ignoring him, he might just escalate his tactics. He might even make his
[servants] do something that would ruin my everyday life forever.
Right now, I'm considering the worst case scenario: Daiya might harm Maria.
Now that I've learned of his tactics, I can no longer feign ignorance. Even threats
that don't reach me have an impact.
"Tch!"
Now, it's actually much worse if I don't receive his messages. Since there's no
point in keeping my cell phone turned off, I switch it back on.
"Kasumi Mogi"
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"Found youuu!"
The ring tone that's still playing confirms it, but there's an unfamiliar sound
accompanying the ring tone.
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I think highly of Iroha Shindou, but I never expected that her mission would have
a 100% success rate. Because of my time limit, it would be fatal for me if I relied
on just one person and that person failed to deliver.
Therefore, setting up Shindou's attack wasn't the only thing I did with my
[servants]. While she was working toward showing Otonashi how Kazu would
betray her, I also had a few other things going in parallel.
I also tried to convey a message to Kazu over the TV. I gave [orders] to eleven
sinners who I considered guilty enough to turn into 'Dog Humans'. Their task was
to write "Come to the cinema!" on their naked bodies and expose themselves on
TV. There's no way to guarantee that they successfully accomplished that goal,
but my guess is that one or two of them must have succeeded.
When Aya entered the cinema, I first thought that that maneuver was now a
waste, but it just acquired new relevance.
That maneuver prevents Kazu and the others from breaking off contact with me.
He just needs to wait until the end of the 'Wish-Crushing Cinema' to defeat me,
so his optimal strategy was to hide from me and break off contact. But if I'm able
to create a massive commotion on TV and it even spreads over the web, there's
a high probability it will reach him or his allies, and then he will realize how risky
it is to shut off communications.
My 'Shadow of Sin and Punishment' is a lot more effective when I can establish
contact.
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We are still in the entrance hall; Piercing at Fifteen has not started yet. Since my
actions will be highly circumscribed once the movie begins, I have to map out my
strategy in advance.
17 minutes are left until the movie starts, but I only have 12 minutes because
we'll be teleported into the theater five minutes before that. Damn...I'm
constantly short on time.
"So, to summarize," Aya starts to recap the plan I have given her. "We'll have
Kasumi Mogi use the 'Flawed Bliss'. Since she is still in distress due to her
disabilities and unrequited love for Kazuki Hoshino, she won't turn it down. And
then I will forget about Kazuki Hoshino."
"Since Hoshino doesn't want Mogi to recall the 'Rejecting Classroom' and her
partial paralysis makes her a liability, it's safe to assume that he hasn't partnered
up with her. In other words, once your [servants] have made contact with her,
you can carry out your plan without worrying that he'll get in your way.
Moreover, she's a sitting duck because we know that she's in the hospital."
Well, to be honest, I don't care about Mogi as long as Kazu comes here. But of
course I stay silent.
"Kasumi-san..."
The cheeky little minx butts in again. Shut up, bog body bitch.
"...You're saying rude things about me in your head, aren't you? It's writ large all
over your face! I'm really good at reading expressions, you know?"
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"Well, she's a rival in love and we share the same enemy, after all. We
occasionally exchanged information at the hospital. Ehehe!"
"Planning the perfect crime to get rid of Otonashi, huh? How's it going? Is that
wheelchair substitution caper coming together? Pretty clever to use the fact that
people think Mogi is unable to move on her own for your alibi!"
"Why is your murder scheme so specific?! Could you please change your opinion
of me?! It's about time you did!"
"But putting that aside, why did you suddenly speak up when we mentioned
Mogi? Is there something on your mind?"
What a waste of precious time. I should just permanently ignore that girl already.
Although to be honest, it would be more effective to use Aya rather than Mogi
as a decoy for Kazu. It may sound pretty obvious, but it'd be optimal to have my
[servants] threaten him with Aya. They could tell him something like this:
"If you don't come into the 'Wish-Crushing Cinema' before the day ends, I will kill
Maria Otonashi."
I guess I could go with a time limit set to five minutes before midnight. That
threat would be effective; Kazu couldn't be sure whether I'm serious about
killing her or not, since I'm obviously stuck between a rock and a hard place.
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So why do I plan on using Mogi nonetheless? Why do I need to take this step
when I'm going lose a considerable amount of time by involving her?
Sure, Aya has to believe that we'll have Mogi use the 'Flawed Bliss'. But there's
another reason.
To whom?
—To 'O'.
"I just had an idea about how to get Kazu here," I say to Aya.
"Tell me."
"We'll force him to come here by making him watch as her hands are ravaged.
He can't possibly keep listening to the sound of a girl's fingers breaking,
especially one he used to love, can he? Especially since that girl only has use of
her upper body; her hands are even more dear to her!"
"I thought you didn't like Mogi? Didn't she even stab you once?"
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"How many times do I have to repeat myself before you get it? My personal
feelings are of no consequence. I won't let anyone get hurt, no matter who it is."
Well, I expected such a reaction. There's no point in getting on her bad side right
now.
She can't check on the [orders] that I give, so it doesn't matter what I tell her.
There's no need to keep my word. I'll break Mogi's fingers whether Aya approves
or not.
That fake speech was for the benefit of 'O'. I need 'O' to believe that this is my
trump card.
For Maria's sake, Kazu might abandon Mogi even if her fingers are being broken
right before him. Kazuki Hoshino is capable of anything, no matter how extreme,
once he has made up his mind.
I'm sure 'O' realizes that as well. For that reason, 'O' won't take my victory for
granted; she will conclude that she can continue to observe without interfering
because it seems like my plan will fail.
In reality, threatening him with Aya will be my real plan. But I'll keep that to
myself by making 'O' believe that threatening Kazu with Kasumi Mogi is the
crucial point.
It's arguable whether it's even possible to deceive a being like 'O'.
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—It is.
It seems that 'O' can observe the whole world. However, 'O' said it's similar to
looking at the earth through the lens of a satellite camera. If that's true, it should
be impossible to understand what my intentions are at the finest possible level
of detail. That's the weakness of 'O'.
Of course I can't say for sure how 'O' functions, so I can't just relax. I have to be
prepared to change my plan on the fly if necessary.
But I'm already in the process of understanding the thought patterns of 'O'. I was
almost led astray by her god-like powers, but—for better or for worse—I found
out her true identity, allowing me to analyze her more precisely.
The nature of 'O' is not that of a god or a devil, but that of a peculiar human. Her
intelligence seems to be very high, but it doesn't exceed the bounds of
humanity, either. There's nothing truly mind-boggling to worry about. I bet the
personality of 'O' was created in imitation of the real 'Aya Otonashi' by a certain
little sister.
In that case, I should be able to predict her course of action with my keen
analytical skills.
For example, there is one thing I can say for sure. 'O' is going to appear before
me once more before this day is over.
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Iroha Shindou is standing in front of the info panel. She's obviously exhausted;
her clothes are covered with red paint and her face is stained with dirt.
"It's artificial blood. I'm not wounded...but I guess you could say that I was
killed."
I also have a bunch of nagging questions, but there is one thing I have to say first.
Yanagi and Aya turn their surprised faces from 'O' to me instead.
"......Oh?"
Shindou's exhausted expression changes back to her usual look of gentle charm.
But I have to say—I go off on a complete tangent while looking at her face—that
gentle expression and the look on Kazu's face when he sent me here really
resemble one another.
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"Geez, it's really regrettable that you won't let me deceive you at all, Oomine-
kun! Would you mind telling me what gave me away?"
In reality, I've been expecting her arrival for a while. Given her personality, 'O'
will want to observe me and Kazu close-up.
Of course I don't tell her any of that. I mustn't let her think that I can win, so I
should avoid raising uncalled-for suspicion by giving up my real plans.
'O' doesn't seem to suspect a thing. I guess she's not too interested.
"......'O'." Aya has been scowling at us with hatred in her eyes while we talked.
"There's no way I would do that, is there? I even bothered explaining to you once
that you're about as interesting to observe as a vacuum cleaner. I have no plans
to intervene for someone like you who's basically a dumb robot!"
Why does 'O' act so offensively while claiming that she has no interest in Aya? 'O'
doesn't act like that around anyone else. Why doesn't that make Aya suspicious?
This train of thought is forcibly interrupted by 'O', who focuses her attention on
me once again.
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That's surprising. 'Surprising' because I was convinced that 'O' wouldn't depart
from her neutral stance as an observer unless Kazu were to fall behind.
22:19
"I hope what you've got to say is worth my time? I have fewer than six minutes
left to talk freely. If you're just looking to chat, then I'm afraid I'll have to refuse."
If I choose to listen to 'O', I will have no time left before I get forcibly transported
into the final theater, and I won't be able to act freely anymore.
That's all I needed to hear; I can't turn down her offer now.
"Got it."
I have nothing left to do anyway, except for repeating the plan to Aya. I have
already given my [orders] regarding Mogi; one of my [servants] and fanatical
believers is already on the way to Mogi's hospital.
"Excuse me, but could I ask the others to leave? This is for Oomine-kun's ears
only," 'O' says to Aya's dismay.
"Wait. Why—"
"Sorry," I cut her short, "but there's no time for questions. Please just hold back
your objections for now."
While Aya still seems displeased, she doesn't say anything else.
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As soon as Aya and Yanagi have disappeared, I quickly start the conversation.
"Make it short," I tell 'O'—who is still assuming the shape of Shindou.
"Mm, I shall," 'O' agrees, and gets straight to the point. "Kazuki-kun and I have
become enemies."
"———"
I've been caught by surprise. To be honest, I would like to mull over this
revelation for a bit, but time is running out.
My heart and mind may be in disarray, but I'm still able to put two and two
together. There's no time to confirm or delve further into her statement right
now; I have no choice but to assume that she's telling the truth, and ask if it's
advantageous for me.
"Why not? Kazu has become our common enemy, hasn't he?"
"I don't think that your approach is sufficient to break his will. In other words, I
see no benefit in helping you."
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"No, I won't! In fact, let me tell you something that will please you: Your plan of
using the 'Flawed Bliss' right before Kazuki-kun's eyes is the best action you can
take at this point. I promise."
There's no time to confirm that, either. I'll have to take 'O' at her word.
"Let me ask another question; why has Kazu become your enemy when he used
to be the person you were most interested in?"
"Don't waste my time. I want to know what has turned you against each other."
"Now aren't you an boring fellow? If you consider me a being that preserves
Maria Otonashi as 'Aya Otonashi', then you can consider Kazuki-kun a being that
erases 'Aya Otonashi' from Maria Otonashi. It's completely natural for us to
oppose each other, is it not?"
"I guess so. He may believe that too. But...so what? Sure, Kazu is exceptional, but
he's also just a human. Are you telling me that he has a special power that lets
him erase you, even though he's just a human?"
"Yes, he does. Kazuki-kun has obtained the power to forcibly crush 'boxes'."
I've been proceeding without pause up to this point, but I'm forced to stop
momentarily.
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For a moment there, I thought she was talking about the 'Wish-Crushing
Cinema,' but that's wrong. That 'box' is specially tailored to crush my 'box'.
"Just like I did, he has received a power from the 'Flawed Bliss'."
"I don't understand. How would Kazu have gotten a power from—No, I'll have to
swallow that for now, but there's still something that doesn't make sense. I don't
know exactly when Aya obtained her 'box', but I'm pretty sure they didn't know
each other at that point, right? Then how can Kazu have been influenced by the
'Flawed Bliss'?"
"It's not all that difficult: My counterpart existed from the very start, but that
position was left blank because Maria Otonashi was unable to imagine
something capable of opposing me. But the role of the counterpart was there—
just unoccupied! And eventually, someone worthy of that position appeared:
Kazuki Hoshino, the aberrant human who was a 'savior' for a certain being. There
was but a slight time lag."
"'What'? Now that's a crude question. Your question's wording is too vague to
answer!"
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"I know that you're based on the real Aya Otonashi. I also know that you're
under the influence of the 'Flawed Bliss'. However, I don't quite get how Kazu is
your counterpart, and how he can erase you with his special power."
"Aah, your understanding was incomplete? You see, the primary purpose of the
'Flawed Bliss' is to let me exist as 'O', because that's how it grants 'wishes'. As a
consequence, I would no longer be able to exist as 'O' if the 'Flawed Bliss' were
destroyed."
Those new truths leave me completely amazed, but I have no time left to deal
with my emotional confusion. I try to respond to 'O', depending entirely on
dispassionate logic.
"Does that mean that, strictly speaking, I have used Aya's 'Flawed Bliss' as well?"
"I suppose so. I wouldn't exist without the 'Flawed Bliss', after all."
"But doesn't that mean that it's untrue that Aya loses her memory when she
uses it? After all, she still remembers everything even though I am using a 'box'."
"Oh, it's not a lie. She only loses her memory when she decides to use the
'Flawed Bliss' of her own accord."
"I wonder…Don't you think that that's what the 'boxes' are like to begin with?
Maybe you should think some more about why she loses her memory, anyway."
Upon hearing that advice, I recall the farcical conversation 'O' and Aya engaged
in earlier.
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Why is Aya so dense when it comes to the question of just who 'O' is? That's what
I thought back then.
I realize why.
The answer is: Because otherwise, the 'Flawed Bliss' wouldn't work.
Aya mustn't realize that 'O' was created by her 'Flawed Bliss', let alone that the
character of 'O' strongly resembles that of the real 'Aya Otonashi.' She mustn't
find out how her 'box' grants 'wishes'. If she did, her 'Flawed Bliss' wouldn't
be flawed but simply defective.
Therefore, she has to forget whenever she learns the truth behind that system.
Aya and 'O' are merely actors in a grand game of cat-and-mouse: she supposedly
obtains a new 'box' from her nemesis, so that she can make her 'wish' perfect
and unflawed.
However, she won't ever be able to obtain the box' that she's yearning for. Of
course not.
The very act of fighting against 'O' means that she is trapped in the 'Flawed Bliss'
herself.
"———"
How futile is that? That's like making sandcastles that collapse as soon as the
tide comes in. That's what Aya has been doing all this time? That what she has
killed her own personality for, spending a whole lifetime in torment? That's what
she is risking her life for?
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"......"
Has Kazu noticed how futile her efforts are? No, I'm sorry to say this, but he's not
smart enough to analyze her so critically.
Therefore, he will try without fail to crush the 'Flawed Bliss' in order to free
Maria Otonashi from this self-defeating system. And needless to say, the
'Shadow of Sin and Punishment' will be in his way.
"How exactly does Kazu crush 'boxes'? How can he crush mine?"
"If Kazuki-kun touches your chest, he can take out your 'box' and destroy it. He
did just that with Iroha Shindou's 'box'."
I'm currently trying to get him into the 'Cinema'. However, if I manage to do that
but he can destroy my 'box' just by touching me—
If I wait here, my 'box' will be destroyed, but if I call him here and he touches it,
it will be destroyed just as well. What is this shit? That's unfair as hell!
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Okay, I should think this through in specific terms. For example, I could put my
arm around Aya's neck and take her hostage to prevent him from touching me.
However, that's impossible. I'm not morally opposed, but it's physically
impossible; I will be in the theater by that point. The 'Wish-Crushing Cinema'
forces an unbearable listlessness upon me when I try to do anything other than
watch the movie that's playing. I can't threaten Aya while resisting that
listlessness.
So do I have to make Aya use the 'Flawed Bliss' and forget about him whether
he's here or not?
But that's not possible, either; things won't go so smoothly. Aya said that she
won't use her 'box' on anyone who doesn't literally ask for it, and her principles
are unbending. I don't have enough time to pressure Yanagi or Mogi enough to
make them want to use a 'box'. Kazu would crush my 'box' before that.
...No, there's another basic concern that arises if the power of the 'Flawed Bliss'
is equivalent to using a 'box' from 'O'.
"Can a person who has already used a 'box' use the 'Flawed Bliss'?"
'O' answers me without showing any special reaction. "You can't use the same
'box' twice, but if it's a different one, then it's possible! Personally, I won't give a
'box' to the same person twice, though."
Which means that in theory, Yanagi and Mogi can use the 'Flawed Bliss'. But how
do I get them—
"......Gh!"
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I look at my watch. I have one minute left before I get teleported into the
theater.
"'O'."
But there is still a matter that I have to confirm no matter what. Something I've
wanted to ask ever since I found out what 'O' really is.
"Yes?"
Depending on the answer, my will might break. That's how crucial my question
is.
There are two types of 'boxes': external and internal. The type of a 'box' is
determined by how strongly the 'owner' believes that his or her 'wish' can
possibly come true in the real world.
So let's pretend the 'Flawed Bliss' were an internal 'box', reflecting the scenario
where an 'owner' didn't believe in her 'wish.' While it can vary depending on its
level of power, an internal-type 'box' usually does not affect the real world. That
means that all the miracles that have been called forth by a 'box' up until now—
the 'Rejecting Classroom', the 'Sevennight in Mud' and the 'Game of Idleness'—
would have taken place in a fake world. This whole story would be no more than
a dream of Aya's.
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Of course, the same would apply to the 'Shadow of Sin and Punishment'.
I can't accept such a laughable outcome, nor would I be able to endure it.
If her 'box' is not external, all my actions will have been rendered futile.
"Yes, it is; and level 10 even. She believes that she can make others happy with
absolute purity. Rest assured, your concerns are superfluous."
Aah, that's a relief. The things I've done won't be rendered null and void.
All of it—my plan to improve the ethics of the world, the punishment I have
inflicted on previously unpunished sinners, the pain I've suffered due to the
'Shadows of Sin', the damage I have dealt upon Iroha Shindou, my murder of
Koudai Kamiuchi, or the many lives I have twisted with my 'box'; nothing will be
rendered null and void.
All right, there's another vital question; one that arose when I heard about
Kazu's power.
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"We could become 'owners' because we were attracted by our 'boxes' and
accepted them. But a person who destroys the 'boxes' is essentially the opposite
of who we are."
"No."
Right after that exchange, I experience my n-th teleport and end up sitting in
front of a screen once more.
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Moreover, the abnormality particular to this 'box', the pitch-black void, has come
even closer and is only two seats away from me. The absolute darkness—the
abyss.
"Ah."
Of course.
——Kokone Kirino.
The air conditioning in this theater is too strong. I feel as if the unnaturally cold
air is ripping holes in my skin. I touch my piercing. I have already created so
many holes in my body, but it's still not enough. There aren't enough openings.
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Kokone.
No matter how many holes I make, you just won't leave my body. Just seeing you
like this causes you to return. The warmth you gave me when I embraced you
won't stay away from me. The gentle warmth that used to surround us conflicts
with reality, and seeks to drive me crazy with the grinding sound that it
produces.
Why—
Why——
Why———
No.
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Wrong.
I chose justice.
Aah, my mind will break soon. I'm going to plunge into ruin. But that's fine. I just
have to grasp, seek, and act on what's right, and my body will keep fighting on its
own.
But a long time ago, I already gorged myself on more despair than I can bear.
Aah.
The screen flashes white, and in the next moment projects a red light. A familiar
scene is coming up—the end of a world.
We shall now see the cheesy love drama of a naive middle schooler. It'll be a
smash! Get your tissues ready! You all love this shit, don't you? Stuff where
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someone suffers, where you can feel good as you shed some tears of pity. Why
don't you have some popcorn as you enjoy the show?
Clap.
Clap.
Clap.
Clap.
Clap.
Clap clap.
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That means she didn't come here by herself, and she wasn't the person who said
"found you."
But that impression of innocence only lasts for a split second. Originally inspired
by my fleeting glance at her plainly bobbed black hair and neat blue sailor
uniform, once I look her in the eye, that false facade is blown away.
We're in an empty alley. Under the glare of a street lamp, her eyes are glittering
so strongly that one could almost believe that they've lost their ability to reflect
light properly. Her eyes look like aluminum foil constructs.
"Found y-o-u. Kazuki Hoshino, Kazuki Hoshino, Kazuki Hoshino!" she says in a
lively fashion as she spins around. Suddenly, she stops and scowls at me with lips
pressed tightly together. "Master Daiya's enemy."
I instinctively realize that she is one of the fanatics that Yuuri-san mentioned.
Mogi-san's face is chalk-white. She is still in her pajamas; she was probably
kidnapped by that fanatic.
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"S-She just turned up and abducted me without a word...I was really scared...but
I can't defend myself..."
Right, she can't fight back in her current condition. This girl—no, Daiya—has
definitely resorted to dirty tactics.
"I had no idea what was going on. Before I knew it she had taken me out of the
hospital, and then she took away my cell phone and called you, Hoshino-kun.
Only then did I realize why she carried me off."
"My cell rang roughly at the same time as when we were found...which means
that we just happened to be nearby..."
We happen to be near the hospital right now. It's unfortunate that Daiya's
minion found us so quickly, but I guess I would have picked up when Mogi-san
called anyway. It was only a matter of time until this aluminum-eyed girl would
have found us.
The girl starts stroking Mogi-san's hands and begins to speak once more:
"Huh?"
Because those words didn't seem to match the situation at all, I have no idea
what she's talking about.
Taken by surprise, I try asking some obvious questions to play for time.
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"Wait a sec!" Haruaki stops passively watching and steps in. "What good will that
do?"
"That's not what I'm talking about! What's your aim? Daiya Oomine wants to
demand something from Kazuki Hoshino, right?!"
"Ah, right. Exactly! I was told to force Kazuki Hoshino to enter some kind of
'Wish-Crushing Cinema'!" the girl answers as though she doesn't care at all about
her actual objective.
As a fanatical believer in Daiya, she probably doesn't care about the means or
ultimate ends of what he tells her to do. She just blindly executes her [orders]
with zero sense of priority.
"Do you feel nothing when you look at Kasumi? How can you be cool with this?"
Haruaki reproaches her, visibly pressured by her statements.
After hearing what he has to say, the girl leans over Mogi-san and tilts her head
forward at a right angle, looking at her face from an upside-down perspective.
Mogi-san utters a little shriek as a face suddenly appears before her.
"I'm sorry for her," the girl admits, much to our surprise. "But I'm more pitiable."
"W-What?!"
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The girl raises her head and whispers, "I'm infected with AIDS, you know? I'm
going to die in the near future. Mm, I'm so pitiable." But her tone stays
indifferent throughout. "So? She's also pitiable, and what of it?"
Nothing matters. To that girl, Kasumi-san's being "pitiable" is just another thing
that doesn't matter.
She's insane.
I'm convinced that this girl will break Mogi-san's fingers one by one without
batting an eye. Without feeling anything, without thinking about what she's
doing.
"............Hah..."
"Whoa whoa!"
Are you okay with this, Daiya? What happened to your hatred of mindless
people? Isn't this girl the very textbook example of a mindless fool?
"What's so funny...?" the girl asks as she glares at me with her aluminum foil
eyes.
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Not to me.
Quite the opposite, actually: thanks to them I can perceive her as just an
obstacle.
They let me perceive her as a meaningless obstacle to which rules don't apply.
The girl lets out astartled gasp when I suddenly rush toward her. However, her
lack of independent thought keeps her from reacting properly.
"Ah, gh!"
"Haruaki!"
As she coughs away, I grab her collar and forcibly push her to the ground,
without releasing her for a single second.
Her eyes have lost their aluminum foil-like glimmer and are now just wide open.
Her panic is clearly visible.
But so what?
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I hold my right hand above her, pause, and then thrust it into her chest like a
sword.
"GHA!"
I take out one of the mass-produced copies of the 'Shadow of Sin and
Punishment'.
"Ah..."
The girl looks at the object that I'm holding; a coarse 'box' that looks like a black
soybean.
"S-Stop! M-My link! My link to Master Daiya is breaking off!" she screams
desperately.
I sneer.
I don't need to hold back against people that stand between me and Maria.
Crush.
—Plopp.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
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The girl faints, just like Iroha-san did when I crushed her 'box'.
"......Hah."
I stand up and wipe some of the dust off my clothing while looking down at the
girl. Suddenly, I notice that Haruaki is still staring at me all wide-eyed.
"O-Oh, I see..."
"Hold back? Why should I? That girl was about to break Mogi-san's fingers,
wasn't she? She wouldn't have hesitated, and you know that, don't you?"
Correct.
Yes, correct.
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Anyway, Mogi-san is my priority right now. I crouch down and smile at her.
"T-Thank you."
Even though I speak to her gently, she seems to be just as unsettled as Haruaki
is.
"......"
While I silently try to justify my actions, seeking to convince myself that there
was no room for any restraint, I gaze at her and notice something.
I look around and notice that the entryway light of a nearby house has turned
on, accompanied by raised voices.
Of course. Maybe there's not much traffic around here, but it's not completely
desolate like the underpass where I dealt with Iroha-san. That makes me realize
once again just how reckless the aluminum foil girl was, trying to commit a crime
in such a place.
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"What should we do? I don't want to lose time here having to explain what
happened!"
"Although I'm concerned about her, we need to take off. Let's at least lean her
against a wall; if we leave her lying on the ground, they might think that we
assaulted her. I guess the police will take care of her."
After hurrying off, we head toward the dorm where Kokone is hiding.
She doesn't know about the current state of affairs. But I can't just tell her about
the 'boxes' and get her involved.
On the other hand, we can't drop her off at the hospital, either, because Daiya
might give another [order] that targets her.
Should we partially explain what's going on? And is it okay to involve her even
though she can't even move on her own?
"Mogi-san, what do you want to do now?" That question escapes my lips, as I'm
unable to come to a decision on my own. Yet, I know that she's incapable of
making an informed decision when she's so completely in the dark.
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Haruaki continues to push her wheelchair, and Mogi-san remains silent for a few
seconds. She finally replies in an uneasy manner:
That sounds like a perfectly legit question, but something bothers me.
What she's saying simply isn't natural. Wouldn't you normally ask what's going
on first, or act all confused?
"Eh? Ah!"
I thrust my hand into her jacket and feel something hard. She turns bright red
and offers some slight resistance, either due to panic or embarrassment from my
touch. But she resists so weakly that I easily take that hard object away from her.
Why? Why is Mogi-san carrying such a weapon? Did she really have the time to
secretly pick up a stun gun when she was abducted by that fanatic? Why would
she even have a stun gun lying around in her hospital room, anyway?
In other words.
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"......"
Something that's easy to notice now that I've obtained the 'Empty Box'.
—Mogi-san is an 'owner'.
—Mogi-san is a [servant].
If she knew that she would be attacked, why didn't she use the stun gun right
away? Who was this stun gun meant to be used on?
"I didn't want to say it," Mogi-san whispers. "I didn't want to say that I regained
my memories of the 'boxes'. Because—"
"Eh?"
I thought that as a [servant], she was [ordered] to attack me, but now that I think
about it, Daiya wouldn't bother using Mogi-san so inefficiently.
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"I recalled what happened within the 'Rejecting Classroom'," she says sadly.
...because she didn't want me to know that her memories of those days of
despair have returned.
"But I've almost completely forgotten about the details, probably because my
memory was already pretty mangled and disordered when I was inside that
'box'."
That was a real stroke of luck. If her memories had returned completely, she
might not even be able to talk to me.
"But I must have caused you and Otonashi-san a lot of trouble. I somehow know
that. And there's something else I remember."
Right.
It ended.
And yet I was so heartless as to keep a picture of her beaming smile on my cell
phone. That was a mistake. I didn't properly stay the course.
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"But that doesn't change anything, Hoshino-kun. You have been and will remain
my source of hope."
She can accept that? Well, that's still not an excuse for me to avoid saying
anything; I owe her so much more and she deserves to hear me say it.
"Well, but—"
"——!"
I'm really sorry, but she's right—I have a new top priority right now.
After all, Maria losing her memory would be—a fatal blow.
But there's obviously no way to persuade her if she loses her memory. In Maria's
eyes, I would be reduced to just another stranger. Given her iron will, it'll be
hard enough for me to convince her as she is now—god forbid I end up trying to
do it as a stranger to her.
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But how would they do that? ...No, it's easy enough, isn't it? They just have to
use the 'Flawed Bliss' on someone. Maria mentioned that she could erase her
memory using that method.
"Tch, Daiya...!"
Not bad! No matter how tightly he's cornered, he still manages to hit me in my
one soft spot!
"Mogi-san," I address her as I grind my teeth, left with no choice but to collect
more information. "How did you learn about that?"
"You have already noticed that I'm in possession of a 'Shadow of Sin and
Punishment', right?"
"Yeah."
"I was told to prepare for an attack by a [servant]. And I was told to get in touch
with you."
In other words, that stun gun really was meant to defend her against that girl,
after all. She probably refrained from using it right away because the girl stole
her cell phone and because she knew that the girl would try to establish contact
with me.
"You wanted to get in touch with me to tell me about Daiya's plan to erase
Maria's memory, right?"
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"Right!"
"But hold on, why would Daiya do that? Why would he want me to find out
about his plans?"
"Eh?"
But there should only be one person apart from Daiya who has the power of a
[master], namely, Iroha-san. I doubt he would entrust anyone else with that
power. Besides, Iroha-san said that she was the only other [master].
"But—"
But there is one person who Iroha-san might have secretly given that power to.
Someone she trusts, someone sensible enough to stop her when it came down
to crunch-time.
"Yuuri-san."
"...What?"
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I was pretty confident that my reasoning was spot on, but it seems like I got the
wrong idea.
"You're not!"
"Hm?"
"Why do you address me by my last name even though you use Yanagi-san's first
name when you talk to her?"
"......"
Huh?
"...Um..."
Anyway, the originator of Mogi-san's [order] was Yuuri-san, after all. She wanted
to communicate what happened outside the 'Cinema' to me by using Mogi-san.
However.
Sending her there also created a problem: Daiya might use Yuuri-san to erase
Maria's memories of me.
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"Hoshii, what next? The situation has taken quite a turn. Hiding like I suggested
before is pointless, right?"
I nod.
"Yeah."
"And his [orders] are likely to become more extreme. He can even use the
media, after all."
Haruaki falls silent, perhaps thinking back to the woman who appeared as a 'Dog
Human' on TV.
"His fanatics are also dangerous, although we were able to fight off that
aluminum foil girl without too much trouble. I really didn't think that they
believed so blindly in him! I'm afraid that they might attack us even without
being [ordered] to, once they learn that Daiya is about to lose his power."
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That means that I'm going to use the 'Empty Box' to destroy his 'Shadow'. In
other words, I'm going to use my power to crush 'boxes' before Maria's very
eyes.
I mean, is it possible to persuade her to choose to abandon her 'box' when she
knows that I could easily crush it? That's like an attempt to persuade that comes
with coercion and threats; like holding a knife and telling someone "cut yourself
with a knife please. Oh, but I certainly won't do anything to you!"
I know that Maria has permanently abandoned me, but doing that will further
aggravate the situation.
If I sat on my hands by staying here in the real world, and Maria lost her memory
because of Yuuri-san, my defeat would be absolute and irreversible.
Haruaki has been watching me and nods slightly at this juncture. "I see, you're
going to Daiyan."
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"I have a request," he says as he fixes his determined gaze upon me. "Take me
and Kiri with you."
No, he goes even further. He gets on his knees and prostrates himself before me.
"H-Haruaki..."
"Please!" he shouts as he presses his forehead against the ground. "I want to
save Daiyan, and if anyone can do that, it's Kiri. Their relationship is as broken as
it gets. They torment each other, I know. But still...but still I think that she is the
only one who can save him." He raises his head, eyes slightly wet. "I want to help
them so that they can live with each other! Even if things end poorly, I want to
see things through to the end, no matter what it takes."
I'm considering the disadvantages that would accrue if I bring them with me.
Maria is and will be my top priority.
"Hoshino-kun..."
"...What's wrong?"
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"I just, I just got a message from from Yuuri-san," Mogi-san continues.
"Otonashi-san has become a [servant]."
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DAIYA
Here we go!
DAIYA
KOKONE
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KOKONE
DAIYA
DAIYA
KOKONE
KOKONE throws the ball off to the side once again, and DAIYA
chases after it.
DAIYA
DAIYA
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KOKONE
KOKONE throws a few balls; her form has improved a tiny bit.
As time passes, she gradually improves.
KOKONE
Go!
DAIYA
DAIYA smiles.
KOKONE
I did it.
KOKONE smiles.
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DAIYA
...Hah...hah...
Because he's put far too much reckless strength into that
throw, the ball flies high, right into the fence above the
wall, and gets stuck.
KOKONE (MONOLOGUE)
Purity is
KOKONE (MONOLOGUE)
beautiful
KOKONE (MONOLOGUE)
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fragile
KOKONE (MONOLOGUE)
and irreplaceable.
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I'm at my limit.
Displayed onscreen are Kokone Kirino, back before she dyed her hair, and my
boyish and naïve former self.
I was prepared.
But forewarned was not forearmed; the pain I bear as I watch remains.
"—Ah."
Ill will.
Ill will.
—Ill will.
It's as though ill will were crucifying me in my seat with its sharpened blades. The
world's color has changed, stained with a muddy color called reality. I'm stricken
with a feeling that the entire world is opposing me.
All the ill will I have gotten used to is eating away at me once more.
The world in the movie is so beautiful that the difference, the dirtiness, of the
world today stands out with horrible starkness.
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Aah.
"Master Daiya."
Struggling against the listlessness that the 'Cinema' brings to bear, I brace myself
and turn my head toward the voice. An unfamiliar woman is standing near the
entrance of the theater. Although I fail to recognize her right away because of
my weakened state, I quickly realize who she is. Her face isn't very familiar, but
among my [servants] only my most fanatic worshippers call me "master."
It is not, however, the fanatic middle school girl I met previously in Shinjuku;
she's not my only fanatic worshipper. Ah, I remember now. The woman walking
toward me is a university student who repeatedly tried to commit suicide. Like
the other fanatic, she mistakenly experienced a theophany in my presence when
I used the 'Shadow of Sin and Punishment' on her.
Ironically, someone that impure is the only thing that can calm me down right
now.
It's probably because she's a reminder of the reality I've experienced, which is
the opposite of the warm scene set in that movie. How terrific that someone as
terrible as she is allows me to get a grip.
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While my headache and nausea are still plaguing me, I have pulled myself
together enough to remember the task I had assigned to that believer. I told her
to observe Kazu.
I gave my other fanatic, the middle school girl, the [order] to use Mogi to force
Kazu to come here—breaking Mogi's fingers if necessary. At the same time, I also
[ordered] this university student to secretly follow and monitor the middle
school girl. I was fairly certain that Kazu would be too busy dealing with Mogi
and the first fanatic to detect the presence of yet another one of my [servants].
I also [ordered] her to enter the 'Wish-Crushing Cinema' afterwards and report
to me.
The university student reaches me and crouches down like a faithful slave. She is
visibly nervous.
"Yes."
That's only natural given the power that Kazu has obtained. I gave that [order]
before speaking to 'O', and I've since learned about Kazu's 'box' crushing
abilities. So I've already written off this attack.
"But that's not all; he has seen right through your plan!"
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Unable to stomach her message, I frown. "What do you mean? How much does
he know?"
"He knows that your goal is to erase Aya Otonashi's memory, Master Daiya!"
"What?"
It goes without saying that I haven't mentioned such a plan outside the 'Wish-
Crushing Cinema', so there's no way it could have leaked out.
"If anyone could have told him, maybe it was 'O'? ...No, it's unlikely that she'd do
that after saying that Kazu's her enemy. So that leaves—"
"Excuse me, but Kasumi Mogi was the one who leaked the plan."
"Mogi?"
I consider the question momentarily and come up with an answer right away. I
turn around and look to my right.
The source of the leak; the girl I previously considered to be out of the game
entirely.
"Yuuri Yanagi."
"Eh? Yes?" she says as she widens her eyes. She looks totally clueless.
Nevertheless, slowly but surely, I'm starting to understand her play-acting.
"Shindou shared her power with you? Without my approval?" I say, having
grasped the situation.
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"Did you forget that my victory will help you to get closer to Kazu or what?"
"Hah? What are you talking about? I said this before, but why would I submit to
someone who once killed me? It's nauseating that you seem to think that you
can control a girl like that, so could you please go die in a fire? "
With the power of my 'box', I can stimulate her 'Shadow of Sin' and torment her
as much as I want; I can command her to do anything I want. Despite that, she
still finds ways to defy me.
I wait for her next few words, planning to torment her with her 'Shadow of Sin'
once she has spoken.
However—
"What?"
"Just kidding, Oomine-san! Please don't get angry. Things aren't as they seem—
I'm helping you out like I promised."
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I definitely can't trust her, but I decide to hold off on stimulating her 'Shadow of
Sin' for now, and instead investigate her true intentions. "You claim that leaking
my plans helps me?"
Yanagi isn't dumb. She should be perfectly aware that as a [master], I'm
practically holding a knife to her neck. How can she be so confident that I won't
use that knife?
"Just imagine how Kazuki-san would react if he learned that you are trying to
erase Otonashi-san's memory."
"So you're saying that what you did was," I conjecture, "a trick to lure Kazu into
the 'Wish-Crushing Cinema'?"
Yanagi gives me a slow, stressed nod. "Yes. Don't you agree that that is the
ultimate threat? There's no need to do something as horrible as breaking
Kasumi-san's fingers!"
That strategy involving Mogi was just a feint, a now pointless countermeasure
intended for 'O'. It's understandable that Yanagi would consider it an ineffectual
choice.
"Otonashi-san. Kazuki-san will come, right?" she says as she turns to Aya for
confirmation.
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Aya, who has kept out of our conversation thus far, answers: "...Yeah, without a
doubt."
It's not like I didn't consider using the plan to erase Otonashi's memory to
threaten him; I was well aware that I could bring Kazu to me that way.
If he learns about our intentions beforehand, he can better plan his response—
the likelihood that he can impede our plan rises. This becomes all the more
pressing because he possesses the overwhelming ability to destroy 'boxes'.
If Yanagi wanted to help me out, she should have come up with an entirely
unrelated strategy and disclosed that to Mogi.
That aside, it surprises me that she's willing to go so far to separate Kazu and
Otonashi...
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"Of course not! What are you talking about?" she counters casually. "After all, I
tried everything in my power to keep you from hurting Mogi, and on top of that,
I leaked your plan to him, didn't I? If anything, he has reason to thank me, and
certainly no reason to hate me."
...What is she talking about? But now that I think about it...she's right.
From Kazu's standpoint, Yanagi's choice to disclose my plan makes her appear to
be an ally. It's also true that she tried to protect Mogi. This girl is really living up
to the role Kazu has given her.
Her actions even serve to protect her. Now that Kazu knows that I'm trying to
erase Aya's memory, he'll realize that Yanagi is a likely target for the 'Flawed
Bliss'; his natural response will be try to prevent that—to come up with a way to
protect Yanagi.
What Yanagi has done is increase the probability that she'll be saved.
"—well, that's what you might think, Yanagi, but you just dug your own grave."
"Huh?" she utters, widening her eyes. I grab her 'Shadow of Sin'. "——Ah,
AAAH!!"
She gets to taste the sin of the murders she committed inside the 'Game of
Idleness'.
"AAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAAH!!"
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"I considered it necessary to use the 'Flawed Bliss' right before Kazu's eyes to
create a massive impact, but it's a different story if he knows that I'm going to
erase Otonashi's memory and we know that he's coming here. Kazu will know
what happened if Otonashi has already lost her memory before he arrives. By
confronting him in that manner, we will break his will."
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AHHHH!!"
"Rejoice, for your actions have brought ruin upon Kazu. Now despair and yearn
for the 'Flawed Bliss'."
Yanagi might be crafty, but at heart she's a good person—pure, the opposite of a
criminal. There's no way she could endure such a heavy sin.
And yet—
".........I refuse," she squeezes out, astounding me. "I refuse. Doing that would be
losing to the 'Game of Idleness'. No doubt I'm a monster for doing what I did, but
those actions were unavoidable. There was no other way to survive. If I didn't
have any other choice—right or wrong doesn't matter—I just have to accept it."
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"Shut up! I won't render his efforts futile. Kazuki-san visited me every single day
when I'd shut myself in at home and patiently explained to me that I'd had no
alternatives. He has forgiven me. So no matter how painful they are, I won't lose
to my sins...I won't!"
No matter what she says, she won't be able to hold out for long. I'll just have to
wait until she begs for mercy.
However.
"Stop it, Oomine!" Aya yells. "I won't use the 'Flawed Bliss' if you force someone
to ask for it!"
"Don't you dare do that again! Okay, I've decided: I absolutely won't use my 'box'
if you make someone suffer for it!"
"Uh...aah...aah..." she groans as she scowls at me with tears running down her
cheeks. "...Uh...haha...did you hear that...? She's not going to use it for you the
way you want... serves you right!"
With the last of her strength, she pulls herself onto her seat and collapses,
completely still, while slumped over. She whispers "Kazuki-san..."—appealing to
Kazu's sympathy even though he's not here? Either way, I understand now:
Yanagi informed him of my plans because she wanted to stop me.
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What a shame. My plan would have worked if I had properly won her over.
...Or was it because of Kazu that she could resist the power of my 'box'? Because
Kazu fought the 'Game of Idleness' and patiently helped Yanagi to recover from
it as well?
Meanwhile, the fanatic girl is still positioned somewhere between squatting and
standing, and looking at me in a worried fashion.
"Get lost."
"Huh?"
She seems unhappy, but since she believes in me completely, she'd never refuse
my orders. She stands up and obediently leaves the theater.
"——"
In just a short while, I'll have to watch Rino burn Kiri's back with cigarettes.
✵
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My situation has taken a turn for the worse after the end of Repeat, Reset,
Reset. There are 5 changes that I know of:
I realized that Kokone Kirino is the 'owner' of the 'box' I'm in.
Aya won't use the 'Flawed Bliss' if I force someone to ask her for it.
Given new information, I also have to modify my tactics. I originally thought that
I just had to break Kazu's will; break his will and have him abandon the 'Wish-
Crushing Cinema'.
I was wrong. Even if I managed to defeat Kazu, I'd still lose because Kiri would
maintain the 'Cinema'.
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Nevertheless, it's still necessary to break Kazu's will; I absolutely have to disable
his destructive power.
For starters, how am I supposed to get Kiri to come here? How am I supposed to
make her abandon her 'box'? How could I possibly persuade her when the
purpose of her 'box' is single-mindedly devoted to destroying mine? There's no
way I could reverse someone's firmly held beliefs in a single hour. Instead, I'd
have to find a way to destroy her 'box' by force.
Besides, how am I going to get Aya to use the 'Flawed Bliss'? I'll be forced to
bring one of Kazu's friends here who, in addition, will have to be interested in
the 'Flawed Bliss'. Even if I managed to do that, I doubt that person would be
able to make the final decision to accept the 'Flawed Bliss' that quickly, which
will give Kazu the opportunity to destroy my 'Shadow of Sin and Punishment'.
After all, he just needs to touch my chest.
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Impossible.
Unless I could perhaps control Aya Otonashi's actions, it's impossible for me to
win.
"......"
Wait.
That is—
There's only one way I can get rid of the 'Wish-Crushing Cinema'—use Kazu's
power to destroy it. I can even use my [orders] to tell someone to kill herself. If I
threatened to make Aya commit suicide, Kazu would have no choice but to obey
me and crush Kiri's 'box'.
I would also be able to force Aya to use the 'Flawed Bliss' with an [order], and
defeat Kazu by erasing her memory in front of his very eyes.
However.
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Aya Otonashi is defined by her iron will. There's no way she would become a
[servant]. Even thinking about going there is a waste of time.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"
My will power drains away as the shriek echoes from the speakers, chipping
away at my heart.
I try to touch one of my piercings and fail. I can't even bring myself to lift my
hand to my head.
End.
End.
End.
End.
End.
"—It's..."
It's enough.
Time to give up on trying to realize my ideal world with my own two hands.
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If I do so, I can erase both the 'Wish-Crushing Cinema' and Kazu's power to
destroy 'boxes'.
I know. My mind will collapse if I do it. I'm already at my limit; I will break
without fail.
However, I won't be able to stay sane for much longer anyway. I have to find
someone who will take on my burden before it's too late; I have to give the
power of the 'Shadow of Sin and Punishment' to someone who is able to use it
properly.
Even Shindou was defeated. She was a person who seemed to be capable of
adopting my goals—albeit in a relatively distorted fashion—but she lost her
ability to use the 'Shadow of Sin and Punishment'.
My fanatic worshipers are out of the question. They are only fit to obey a leader,
not to give [orders]. I try to run through the faces of all of my [servants], but
there doesn't seem to be anyone who would suit my purposes.
There is no one who would want to sacrifice himself for a better world.
Such a person—
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"————————————————————————————————————
—————————————————————————exists after all"
Just one.
There is just one person who, in fact, may be a lot more capable than I am.
The girl who declared herself to be a 'box' and abandoned everything for her
goal.
Aya Otonashi.
It's like throwing the shuffled pieces of a jigsaw puzzle on the floor, and watching
the pieces all somehow spontaneously lock together to form the completed
image. As ridiculous as it sounds, my entire situation really has become that
clear.
I stand up. Until a moment ago, I had lost so much energy that I couldn't even
touch my piercings, but who cares anymore? Opposing the compelling force of
the 'Wish-Crushing Cinema', I turn around to face Aya.
I feel so awful that I worry that I might throw up blood when I try to speak. A
powerful bout of dizziness is messing with my sense of balance, causing me to
stand askew.
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"Aya, you've always sought a new 'box', right? And you've been chasing after 'O'
and the 'owners' to get one—all to perfect your 'wish'."
"It's also why you spent a lifetime inside the 'Rejecting Classroom' and stayed
with Kazu: because he attracted the interest of 'O'. You have devoted your entire
life to that goal and you continuously worked toward it. You exist solely for that
goal."
In reality, her efforts are futile; Aya can't possibly obtain an ideal 'box'. That's
why she never grasps what 'O' truly is and keeps fighting against her.
"Rejoice."
Aya realizes that I'm serious, and she stares closely at me.
The 'Flawed Bliss' and the 'Shadow of Sin and Punishment' are similar.
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They were both created by strong beliefs, yet in many ways are fragile and cold.
At the same time, they can be used for almost any purpose.
"It's right here," I say as I point at my chest. "The 'Shadow of Sin and
Punishment' is the 'box' you seek."
Right, with my 'box' she can finally escape the quicksand-like trap of 'Flawed-
ness' she's caught in.
Aya has been observing me with eyes wide open the entire time. She now casts
her eyes down toward the ground and shakes her head.
"Do you realize how nonsensical you sound? Your 'box' is not what I'm seeking. A
'box' that sacrifices others is far from my ideal; in fact, it is the exact opposite.
What you did to Yanagi earlier should be proof enough."
"That's because I'm the one using it," I counter, drawing her gaze once again.
"You're right; when I use it, my 'box' creates sacrifices because that's how I was
trying to change the world. However, it goes without saying that you can do
more than just create 'Dog Humans' with this power. At its core, it's a power to
control others. No, describing it that way gives it a negative connotation. In your
words—"
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"It does have the power that you're looking for," I say with conviction. "The
power to guide others to happiness."
While she is still trying to deny it with empty rationalizations, she has already
realized—
All this time, the listlessness generated by the 'Wish-Crushing Cinema' is still
tugging at me. In addition, I feel my 'Shadows of Sin' eat away at me with every
step I take. I stumble back and forth as I walk, supporting myself by grabbing the
theater seats as I proceed toward the back where Aya is sitting.
"—Hehe."
Even though I feel horrible, I can't suppress the pleasure that wells up within me.
From the very moment I obtained the 'Shadow of Sin and Punishment', I was
prepared to pay with my life for using it. I was prepared to go crazy in the near
future and die a shameful death.
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While I don't know if it's because we've worked closely together in the 'Rejecting
Classroom' or if it's simply because I noticed her transcendence, I'm sure that
some part of my brain had already decided who this 'box' would eventually pass
to, right when I first obtained it.
"......Hah, hah..."
She stands up, knowing full well what I'm about to do. The light of the screen
causes her to cast a small shadow.
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"Very well."
"——Ah."
That is,
That is—
"—
——
————
————————— "
I collapsed.
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It wasn't the most gruesome of the thousand sins I've seen, nor was it the
cruelest. But gruesomeness and the like are distinct from the pain that
accompanies a given sin; the level of pain I suffer is the level of pain that a
person suffered subjectively at the time of her sin, and has nothing to do with
the objective cruelty of the sin.
My hands can't stop violently shaking and my eyes are still wide open in shock.
She—
"......Gh!"
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In order to make her a [master], I first have to temporarily make her a [servant].
In order to do that, I have to swallow her 'Shadow of Sin'.
"Here we go."
I grab her 'Shadow of Sin', which I had absorbed after stepping on her shadow,
and swallow it.
"———!"
Upon closer inspection, I can see cold sweat on her face. She is gritting her teeth
in anguish. But as someone who lost consciousness after contact with her sin, it's
hard for me to believe that's the extent of her reaction.
"How can you still be standing? You shouldn't be able to endure that. I've
experienced it firsthand—I can tell."
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"Unless I'm wrong, your 'box' causes people to recall their sins?" Aya says. She is
staring at me, iron will glowing in her eyes, even as pearls of sweat are running
down her cheeks.
"Yeah, so it should be impossible for you to bear your sin if you are confronted
with it so suddenly."
"What?"
Aya lets go of her chest and catches her breath. She's practically back in fighting
trim.
If I were to take her at her word, that would suggest something absurd.
My 'box' makes people recall their sins, or their feelings at the time when they
sinned. Sinners typically block that dark memory from their daily lives in order to
live with some peace of mind.
But what if Aya didn't do that? What if she hasn't forgotten about that trauma
for a single second?
If so, she'd get accustomed to that infernal anguish and it would become just
another part of her everyday life.
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If she has always lived with this pain, there's no reason she'd get overwhelmed
after being confronted with it.
But hey? How can a human being possibly live that way?
No...I see.
That's why.
She's always conscious of being a sinner. By refusing to forget about her sin, she
keeps punishing herself.
That's what left her bereft of her humanity and turned her into a 'box'—into 'Aya
Otonashi'.
By aggressively suppressing her true self, she can focus on a single 'wish'. She
can devote herself entirely to a single goal.
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She embodies the sad outcome that awaits a true 'owner' at the end of the road.
But this is exactly why there is no one more suited to accepting my power.
Aya Otonashi.
"I give you my power. I give you all the 'Shadows of Sin' that I possess."
Giving her my 'Shadows of Sin' has no direct effect on me. I can still control my
[servants].
My most important task is to get rid of Kazuki Hoshino, the man who has a
deeper influence on her than anyone else, and his power to destroy 'boxes'. I
must assist her as she lives for the sake of our 'wish'.
"Are you ready?" I ask, but Aya is ignoring me. She is staring straight ahead.
"I was always trying to imagine," she whispers, "how I could help people become
happy; what kind of 'box' I would need. Happiness is not something I can just
create and force upon them. Nor is it attained by throwing them in a paradise
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and releasing them from their anxieties and worries. Eventually, I arrived at the
conclusion that flawless bliss is only possible when you envision and work
toward your own ideal form of happiness." She clenches her fist impotently.
"What I needed was the power to guide people," she says in an emotional
manner. "I can't believe that I just had to change my perspective a bit to realize
it."
"Oomine. I didn't think much of the fact that we were pointed in the same
direction, but I've changed my mind. You taught me that wonders such as this
are possible... I see, so that's what it means to be kindred spirits."
Come to think of it, an idea came to mind when I gave Shindou a few 'Shadows
of Sin': a truly strong person might be able to remain unaffected when he
swallows other people's 'Shadows of Sin'; in turn, that might make me lose
confidence in my fitness as a ruler.
"......Hm."
Thus, she became a [master] and, just as I originally planned, my 999th [servant].
"Oomine," the new 'owner' of the 'Shadow of Sin and Punishment' says to me:
"Thank you."
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After repeatedly supporting myself with the theater seats, I shakily wend my way
back to my own seat at last.
Now that Aya has become a [servant], there is only one hurdle left to overcome
in order for me to meet my victory conditions.
Once she's here, I'll just threaten Kazu and have him crush her 'box'.
My voice resounds from the speakers of the theater, and I can't help but react.
I've been looking at the screen for a while, where I am currently tearing up while
embracing Kokone in the classroom.
However, Kiri just stands there stiffly, her arms dangling like those of a lifeless
puppet.
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But my feelings didn't reach her as forthright love; instead, they appeared like
the product of an obsessed and diseased mind.
To her, my words must have sounded like…like a threat forbidding her to change,
forcing her to maintain her identity as the girl she considered ugly and worthless.
I had to reform the people who victimized her, who would keep her in her
current state. Not the evil ones who had to be purged—Rino and her
companions weren't evil—but the mindless fools. They only see what's in front
of them, but not the ultimate consequences of their actions. I had to fix that. By
fixing that flaw, tragedies like Kiri's would no longer occur.
Kokone Kirino would have been able to stay who she was.
Right?
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"——Aah."
I got it.
Her heart is already broken, so she will certainly seek it. If I use her for that
purpose, Aya's memory will be erased, breaking Kazuki Hoshino's will.
—Isn't there something fundamentally wrong about that plan? No there isn't,
right?
The moment I thought about using Kiri, I also came up with an easy way to lure
her here.
No, it's simple. As her childhood friend and ex-boyfriend, it's only natural that I
could easily come up with any number of methods to bring her here. If anything,
I should be reflecting on why I didn't come up something like that earlier! Was I
secretly holding myself back or something?
However, she will come if she thinks I am crying out for help. She will come if she
thinks that I am at my very limit. That's just her nature—she'll choose my
happiness over hers.
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I determine the most effective message to convey my cry for help to her, and
[order] my [servant] to use it. That awful message is the same horrible line that
appeared in the movie. "Kokone, I love you!"
Yeah.
I'm at my limit.
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"Maria has become a [servant]?" I parrot back what Mogi-san has said.
"I-I only repeated what Yanagi-san told me, so I don't know anything else..."
Daiya's 'box' had no effect when Iroha-san stepped onto my shadow; when Daiya
steps onto Maria's shadow, it should be equally ineffectual.
"——!"
"...W-What the?"
Given the situation we're in, it can't be a good sign to receive multiple e-mails in
a row.
I'm unfamiliar with the senders' e-mail addresses. I try opening the second e-
mail, but it only contains the letter "O", and even as I read it, a new e-mail
arrives.
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"F"
"O"
"R"
"G"
"E"
"T"
"M"
"E"
"Maria...!"
Yet another e-mail reaches me while I'm still mired in confusion. The sender is
yet another unfamiliar e-mail address, but this time, the e-mail contains more
than one letter.
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I immediately see what she was referring to. The newscaster cites the following
text:
What's going on? Why did Daiya release the 'Dog Humans' now, of all times?
Didn't he plan to make the people of the world reconsider their ethics by mass-
producing 'Dog Humans'? Isn't releasing them rendering his efforts futile?
One would think that Maria has taken over the 'Shadow of Sin and Punishment'!
"......Good lord."
Is that possible?
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Did Maria seriously wish for the 'Shadow of Sin and Punishment' of her own
volition? Did Maria become a [servant] and [master] for the sake of using that
power at will?
"—No, that's..."
As clear as day.
Her only 'wish' is to make others happy. She cares about nothing else. Therefore,
what she is doing now also serves that ultimate goal.
In other words, Maria determined that the 'Shadow of Sin and Punishment' is
capable of bringing about happiness.
And the 'box' she chose is the 'Shadow of Sin and Punishment'? The power to
control others?
"What...the hell..."
I grind my teeth.
Doesn't that basically imply that Daiya is the person who best understands and
most needs Maria?
Over—
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Unlike Daiya, she's not going to make a big spectacle. She will approach people
one by one, and intervene where needed to guide them to attain happier lives.
Despite that, Maria would gladly devote her entire life to the happiness of
others.
She would be delighted that she has finally taken a step forward.
She is only acting this way because she is obsessed with 'Aya Otonashi.'
"I will............"
"I will also crush that 'Shadow of Sin and Punishment' you cling to!"
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Cry as much as you want, I won't hold back from crushing your 'box'.
"Ngh..."
Daiya is still standing between me and Maria. Unless I find a way to oppose him,
I will fail to recover Maria and lose.
My gaze wanders to Haruaki, who has been asking something of me. He wanted
me to bring him and Kokone with me into the 'Cinema'.
"Haruaki."
Right, at the end of the day, she's Daiya's only weak spot.
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Mogi-san said that she wanted to support me, but we couldn't just take her into
the 'Wish-Crushing Cinema', so we hurriedly returned her to the hospital. After
that, we met up with Kokone.
We had called Kokone in advance, so she was already waiting for us in a parking
lot near the dorm.
"Daiya just sent me a message," she says in a trembling voice, "saying that he
loves me."
Even if she weren't shaking like a leaf, I could tell that she is crying.
"This is the first time he's said that to me after he realized that I've changed."
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"I've made my choice. And I'm going to have my way," she says as she raises her
head and looks at me with bright red eyes. "I will go save Daiya."
"Kokone..."
He must have told her indirectly that he loves her via e-mail. It's obviously a trap,
but that won't stop her.
"I am. I'll put my life one the line if that's what it takes."
That's the answer I wanted to hear, so I can take advantage of her in order to
oppose Daiya.
I will make use of Kokone's passion for Daiya, but solely to recover my Maria.
But he doesn't loosen his grip, his eyes remain fixed upon me, and tears start
running down his cheeks.
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"Thanks, Hoshii!"
Even though bringing Kokone with me doesn't mean that Daiya will be saved.
In fact, Haruaki is most likely going to witness Daiya's destruction. And yet
Haruaki sheds tears of relief, incorrectly believing that I made this decision for
the sake of Kokone and Daiya.
"Ah—"
"Ugh...gh..."
I look at my hands that Haruaki's tight grip have warmed. These hands possess
the power to crush 'boxes' and knock out others' 'wishes'.
These hands prove that I have strayed from the path of humanity.
My intention to exploit their feelings for the sake of Maria prove that I have
strayed from the righteous path.
"AAAahh..."
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When did I go so far astray? No, wasn't my attempt to kill Iroha-san already
proof that I've got some screws loose? I had already been messed up mentally
back then; I just didn't notice because Iroha-san happened to survive.
I want to pray for Daiya. I want to pray for Daiya's happiness together with
Kokone and Haruaki. I want to cry together with them. I want to share their
feelings and ride to his rescue together.
But I can't.
I will recover Maria. I can't help but prioritize her above everyone else. There's
no helping it.
By obtaining the 'Empty Box', I have been recast into this monstrous shape.
"Uh...uuuuuh....."
I shed tears.
But mine are not beautiful tears like Kokone's and Haruaki's, shed for someone
else. They are hideous and egotistical tears, shed in lamentation of what I have
become.
"Haruaki, Kokone."
That's the one thing I can say with sincerity and honesty.
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It feels like a horrible sin to shed such monstrous tears. Kokone's tears drip onto
my cheeks, their purity seeming to silently condemn me and making me even
sadder.
"I'm sorry. No matter what, I will do anything it takes to save Maria. I will even
exploit your feelings to recover her. I might not be able to save Daiya. I might
corner him. But I really really think that I want to save him. Sorry. But I can't
commit to that from the bottom of my heart. Sorry. I'm sorry that I can't wish for
his rescue with all my heart." My tears won't stop. "Please forgive me."
"It's okay," she says as she sobs. "I'm no different. I can only act for Daiya's sake.
I couldn't act for my own, even if Haruaki wants me to."
She pushes away from my chest, slipping out of our circle, and smiles at me.
Just like the four movies Daiya has been watching, I can't imagine how this story
could have a happy ending.
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If I was mistaken from the start, was Daiya right about correcting the world?
I don't know.
To the shopping mall where the entrance to the 'Wish-Crushing Cinema' can be
found.
To Daiya.
To Maria.
But before that, I shall carve a reminder that I have gone astray into my body.
Yes, I'll do it to the part of me that possesses the power to crush 'boxes'. I'll
choose my right hand.
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KOKONE (MONOLOGUE)
Please...
KOKONE (MONOLOGUE)
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I am losing my mind.
The pictures on-screen tear away all conscious thought and take me back in
time, forcing me to remember my former self. My thoughts return to my old
patterns. I lose my sense of time and place. Am I seated? On-screen? In the past?
I don't even care.
On-screen, I'm a middle school student holding his head in his hands.
He's silent, but I remember what was running through my head at the time. Now
that I've traveled back in time, I'm repeating the same thoughts as well.
I may have reached my absolute limit, but I will not lose track of my mission. I
will stay tenaciously aware of my goal, so that I respond automatically—no
matter how disarrayed my feelings are.
I'm going to defeat him and release Aya from his claws.
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"Yes, I also feel that way," Kazu replies with a bland smile.
He is holding a plain plastic case. What else has he prepared? I decide not to
waste any time mulling it over, since he already possesses the ultimate weapon,
capable of destroying 'boxes'.
I can't help but wonder about the condition of his powerful, red right hand.
His right hand is bandaged. Blood is still seeping into the bandage.
"He cut his hand with a knife all of a sudden. It's going to leave a scar...Frankly, I
have no idea why Hoshii did that..." Haruaki adds in Kazu's stead.
I see—Kokone Kirino.
—Creak.
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It comes as no surprise that my heart aches, almost breaks, when I see her. My
heart has already suffered serious damage just from seeing the fake puppet of
Kiri sitting beside me, so my reaction to the real Kiri is unsurprising.
"So what are you planning on doing now, Kazu? You can't win anymore, and you
know that. Aya Otonashi has become my [servant]," I say, making the
assumption that Yanagi has kept him up to date.
Kazu answers without moving a muscle, "That pale face of yours really gives the
lie to your claims, Daiya."
It may sound like an attempt at provocation, but in reality, it's just an expression
of pity.
Ah—
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"First, I'm going to destroy the 'Wish-Crushing Cinema', and then I'm going to
have Aya use her 'Flawed Bliss' and forget about you."
I will first use his power to destroy Kiri's 'box', and then I will use the 'Flawed
Bliss' on Kiri.
"I'm going to crush your 'Shadow of Sin and Punishment', either by force or by
waiting until the day is over. And I'm also going to destroy the copy you gave
Maria," he announces, causing Aya to raise an eyebrow. "And finally, I'm going to
take back Maria."
Aya replies with a straight face: "That's pointless. No matter what, I won't return
to you."
Kazu bites his lip for a split second, but the glare he's directing at me doesn't
weaken at all.
I'm slightly alarmed by his abnormal behavior. However, before I can respond,
something unexpected happens.
"Kazuki-san!" Yanagi shouts as she jumps to her feet and rushes toward Kazu.
While hurriedly climbing over the seats that separate them, she continues:
"Destroy my 'Shadow'!"
Even though Kazu must have been surprised, he reacts with terrifyingly minimal
hesitation and holds out his bandaged right hand toward Yanagi.
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"Mm...ah...AH!" she groans as his right hand dives into her chest.
Kazu pulls out his hand. He's holding a painful-looking, palm-sized black 'box'
shaped like a spiky chestnut.
At last, I realize what Yanagi was trying to accomplish. She must have wanted to
have her 'Shadow of Sin and Punishment' destroyed so I could no longer [order]
her around. She acted swiftly in order to maximize Kazu's advantage.
I couldn't possibly predict her actions; Yanagi wasn't supposed to know about
Kazu's new power. She must have eavesdropped on my conversation with 'O'
and concealed her knowledge until now.
Sure, she beat me to the punch, but I wasn't planning on using her anyway. What
she did has no influence on my strategy.
However, after seeing that, I have broken out into a faint cold sweat.
There's a huge difference between hearing about it and actually witnessing it. It's
as if he were shoving a machine gun in my face with his finger on the trigger.
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But his astonishing lack of hesitation, and the indifferent attitude he displays
after using his power make me realize once again: he's no longer the friend I
used to know. The absurd wound he has inflicted on himself proves that he's
been vastly changed, that he's been reborn.
And that's the very reason he can smile the same way 'O' does.
However, even though he didn't move a muscle when he used his power, his
face contorts after a certain girl speaks.
"Kazuki Hoshino, why do you have such a....? No, it doesn't matter. Witnessing
that has convinced me," she continues bitterly. "You are an enemy."
"Aya, I shouldn't have to say this, but keep away from him. He would destroy
your 'Shadow of Sin and Punishment' without batting an eye."
"...You're right. It seems like he'd just have to touch my chest. The 'Flawed Bliss'
is also in danger."
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"No, Kazu won't destroy the 'Flawed Bliss'. He should be aware that doing so
would completely and utterly wreck your personality." The look on his face
proves me right. "Of course, I'll keep away from him as well."
Having made that clear, I have to proceed to the next step of my plan without
making a single mistake.
I continue my order before any of my feelings can escape: "You know what
happens if you refuse to obey, right? I repeat: Aya Otonashi is a [servant]. I can
make her do whatever I want. Kazu, don't you dare try to play any tricks. I'll also
set a time limit. It's twenty to twelve right now; you have until a quarter to
twelve to destroy Kiri's 'box'!"
"......"
"Daiyan, let's stop all this. I can't stand to watch any more."
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"What are you doing this for? Who's going to gain anything from it? You? Kiri?
That's bullshit—just look at yourself! You're just going to ruin yourself and Kiri if
you go on like this!"
But even though I expected this, even though I was prepared for this, I'm still
affected; these words come from the bottom of Haruaki's heart.
I don't respond.
He was the first person I'd ever looked up to. Not just for his baseball skills—but
also his straightforward, truthful, and resolute nature—the qualities that drive
him to choose what he thinks is right, even at the cost of his boundless potential
for baseball or the girl he loves. Haruaki has always possessed qualities that I
can't even dream of attaining.
Hey, Haruaki...I have more respect for you than you might believe.
But still.
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"Someone has to take action." I speak without hesitation. "Who is at fault for
what happened to Kiri? Me? Kiri herself? Rino? Yeah, we all were, but the
fundamental problem lies elsewhere. Therefore, I'm going to make a
fundamental change to the world. That's my path."
Haruaki falters before countering: "That's ridiculous. Even with a 'box', you can't
succeed!"
"Why would you have to do that, Daiyan? Why do you have to suffer even
more?"
"And what about my feelings?! I don't want to see you and Kiri plunge into
disaster! So you're going to sacrifice these feelings as well, Daiyan?!"
"Yes."
Right, that's the meaning of sacrificing myself. I'm perfectly aware of that.
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"You can't be serious...," he says, clenching his trembling fists. "You can't be
fucking serious...Daiyan..."
Even though I may seem cool and collected, I have sustained damage.
The 'Shadows of Sin' inside me are about to begin raging because of Haruaki's
honest plea. They are about to burst through their limits and rip my body open.
I'm at my mental limit. A single word could tip me over the edge and end it all
right now.
But I—
The next attack is starting. He'll get me if I let my guard down for just a second.
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Kokone Kirino.
"It was bait in the trap to lure you here. You completely fell for it," I squeeze out
as I tightly grip my chest.
And yet she came anyway because of her unparalleled feelings for me.
With every step she takes, memories of our past flash across my mind.
Age 4—I make her cry in kindergarten while quarreling over some candy; I begin
to cry myself when the teacher scolds me.
Age 7—I save Kiri from drowning in the sea by helping her cling to a swim ring[3];
I comfort her while she cries.
Age 9—I find her crouching by the side of the road during a festival, crying into
her yukata because she had gotten lost, and I take her by the hand and lead her
home.
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Age 11—In order to avoid being teased by our classmates, I say horrible things to
her and make her cry; afterwards I go over to her place and apologize.
Age 12—Kiri starts skipping school when I tell her that I've been accepted by a
renowned private middle school; she starts crying in relief when I tell her that I
won't be enrolling there.
Age 14—We kiss for the first time. She breaks out in tears right afterward, and
because I don't know what else to do, I just keep stroking her head until she
stops crying.
For some reason, she was crying in each of those memories. The strongest
images I have of her must be those of her depending on me.
Each of those memories turns into an attack that tries to chain me to a normal
life. Each of them loads additional weight upon my shoulders.
As I'm being tormented, Kokone Kirino walks up to me and stops before the seat
next to mine, right in front of the shell of herself that the 'Wish-Crushing Cinema'
created.
The real Kiri tilts her head up slightly and looks into my eyes.
She—
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—embraces me.
"Wha...!"
If she does, she will remember the horrors from her past, be reminded of the
wounds on her back, and eventually give in to the urge to vomit.
However, Kiri rules that right out: "You know, Daiya, I haven't overcome
anything. I'm still a wreck inside and I don't know what to do about it."
Kiri is shaking. Like she said, she hasn't overcome her past; it's only by tolerating
the anguish that assaults her that she can hold me tight.
Yeah, I think, the closer we are, the more we hurt each other.
But what if we could overcome our past somehow, what if we kept believing in
each other?
That would be—the one thing I have desired above all else.
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"Gh..."
Another memory crosses my mind, a memory of the day I decided to change the
world.
"You're cold."
Lit by the evening sun, floating on a cold, red river, Kiri rejected me. I was
helpless, unable to even embrace her and condemned to feel our bodies grow
colder and colder.
"U..gh..."
Kokone.
Is it really okay if I'm just being myself? I would do anything for you, Kokone. I
would spare no effort to make you happy.
Kokone continues.
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"Daiya...?"
Our transformation is the very proof that we haven't been able to lead a normal
life.
We keep wrecking each other by sacrificing ourselves for each other. That's our
reality. It's even more true if she claims that I mean everything to her.
I do.
I do have a wish.
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I want to smash this godforsaken world that has tainted all of our memories.
"Kiri," I say loud and clear, "learn to live in a world without me."
That's my answer.
"It's time. Crush Kiri's 'Cinema'. You know what will happen to Aya Otonashi if
you don't."
"It's such a shame," Kazu whispers. "It's such a shame that things have to end
this way."
"Uh...gh..."
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Kiri realizes that it's impossible to change my mind. She walks away from me,
staggering toward the screen.
"I would give everything for Daiya's happiness," the Kiri onscreen says with a
blank look. "Should I keep you from becoming happy, I'll make it easier for you to
throw me away, okay?"
"Daiya."
She is standing near the middle of the screen, blocking out the projected image.
"I won't!"
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I'm embarrassed to say that I'm at a complete loss; I can only watch as her blood
slowly spreads across the screen.
"I did what you told me to do. This will also destroy the 'Cinema', won't it?"
He just stands there in the pool of blood that Kiri is shedding without moving a
finger to help her.
"Well then, Daiya," Kazu says, ignoring my comments. He violently swipes at the
tears on his face and glares at me. "If you try to approach Kiri, I will crush your
'Shadow of Sin and Punishment'."
"There are medical supplies in here. Kokone won't die immediately, but if she is
remains untreated for more than ten minutes, she'll be beyond help. If you use
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the contents of this case and staunch the flow of blood from her wound, odds
are that she will survive. I instructed Kokone precisely where to stab herself. If
you come to her rescue, she will survive, but if you just stand there, she will die.
She won't make it to midnight, so the 'Cinema' will be destroyed before then and
you'll have your escape route. Once you've escaped the 'Cinema', you could
certainly find someone to use Maria's 'Flawed Bliss' on. But Kokone will be
dead."
"If you want to save her, come here and let me crush your 'box'."
But Kazuki Hoshino, the being that destroys 'boxes', is smiling in a charming
fashion just like 'O'.
"——"
I am speechless.
I understand what he's getting at, but I don't understand him. I'm hopelessly
confused.
I was wrong.
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I thought that Kazu was abnormal, and I expected his abnormality to have
worsened.
It's just as Aya said; as long as he has a goal, he will not give up. He even resorts
to tactics that no person in his right mind could come up with.
In pursuit of his goal, Kazu can even blank out his own will and act automatically
like a machine.
In a sense, that's what I've been aiming for. The ideal way to exist as a being that
grants 'wishes'.
However, I think as I regard his smile, while I do want to emulate Aya Otonashi, I
definitely don't want to become like Kazu.
Everyone has stopped speaking. All I can hear is the movie, which heartlessly
continues to play, and Kokone's groans.
Haruaki is the first to break the silence. "Hoshii...I don't know about any of this!
You didn't tell me you'd do this!"
"I'm sorry I kept you in the dark. Otherwise, you would have stopped me."
"You fucking bet! That's...that's crazy! I'm going to save Kiri, whether Daiyan
moves or not!"
"I'm going to give her the coup de grace if you try to help her."
"What?!"
"I'm serious."
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He is. Otherwise, he wouldn't resort to such an insane method in the first place.
The 'symbol' of his abnormality that he inflicted on his right hand proves that his
words are 100% true.
Haruaki also realizes this and doesn't say anything else. His shoulders, however,
are shaking and his eyes are wide open.
His answer resembles that of a certain girl who has spent virtual lifetimes in
order to replace someone.
"I would regret it for the rest of my life. I might not be able to bear the burden!"
Maybe he's confused as to why he has taken such measures, but he can't act
differently. This is the form his insanity has taken.
"Kazuki Hoshino...you are insane!" Aya bites her lip and pauses. "What you're
doing doesn't even qualify as a proper method. Someone in his right mind
wouldn't ever hit upon that idea. By doing this...by viciously taking advantage of
Kirino's irrational weakness when it comes to Oomine, you completely destroy
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the everyday life you have been so eager to protect. You realize that, don't you?
It's proof that you've become insane."
Indeed.
"You really aren't the Kazuki Hoshino I knew. What has become of you? Have
you been possessed by a demon?"
"My, what?"
"I will come to your rescue even if the world itself opposes me. I will defeat and
kill whoever stands in my way."
"I've never asked for that! And certainly not from a devil like you!"
"It doesn't matter what you say," he counters, leaving Aya speechless.
"You can't decide, can you?" he says and completely takes me by surprise with
his next words. "Well, that's fine too."
"Hah?" I can't hide my surprise. "That's fine, you say? You can't be serious? Are
you cool with her dying in the face of my indecision? Your plan is only successful
if I go save her, right?"
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"Daiya. I'm sure you know who I am doing this for, right?" he asks in response,
ignoring my question.
"Maria is now in possession of the 'Shadow of Sin and Punishment', and she's
going to work toward a slightly better world, right?"
Kazu holds his right hand before his face and closes it, as though he were
confirming something.
"So I'll crush it. She doesn't need such a dumb 'box'."
Finally, I understand.
One corner of his mouth curls up. "Looks like you finally understand. I said earlier
that I have my doubts about your resolve, but I'm convinced I understand
Maria's. I have spent a lifetime together with her. There's no way I could be
wrong."
Aya Otonashi has devoted her life to the happiness of others, and therefore, she
can't tolerate sacrifices.
And right now, there is someone dying before her very eyes.
Then—
But he wasn't.
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Aya bitterly admits: "Yeah, I'm going to save Kirino. I'll have to surrender to
Hoshino's power."
"Aya...! Isn't this the 'box' you have been seeking all along?!"
"It is. I have spent more time than anyone else searching for this 'box'. Maybe
my earnest desire would have finally been fulfilled. Maybe I will never come
across such an opportunity again. I know...I know...but..." She clenches her fist.
"But still!"
Right.
Aya is going to save Kiri, and Kazu is going to destroy her 'Shadow of Sin and
Punishment'. Kiri will survive thanks to Aya's assistance. Piercing at Fifteen will
end, activating the final effect of the 'Cinema' and destroying my 'box'.
I do have a countermeasure.
But,
But,
"Daiya," Kazu says to me, "You can't possibly be thinking of using an [order] so
that Kokone dies?"
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But haven't I come to the conclusion that he has to be stopped no matter what?
Then—am I going to use an [order] on Aya to let Kiri die? Am I going to kill Kiri?
What the...?
What the...?
"Ah, gh..."
"Please..."
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"Kokone."
All.
All the movies have been played in the 'Wish-Crushing Cinema' flash through my
head in a split second.
Kokone Kirino. Haruaki Usui. Aya Otonashi. Miyuki Karino. Koudai Kamiuchi.
Tragedies, tragedies that torment me. The images entangle me like a long piece
of filmstrip and burn themselves painfully into my mind. Rejection, rejection,
rejection, too much rejection for me to take. There is not the slightest hint of
gentleness. My vision becomes mosaic-ed, colored, sepia-toned, mosaic-ed once
again. The emotions behind those images infiltrate me, overwriting me, erasing
me, leaving only Kokone Kirino behind. I wanted to smash the world into pieces
because I only wanted you, I only wanted you, I only wanted you.
Ah, and now the 'Shadows of Sin' will feast upon me. They will devour me. At
last, they band together, capture me and start to consume me. There is no pain.
Black blood gushes forth from the wounds that they rip open with their sharp
claws, drowning the world. They devour my entire body, leaving nothing behind.
I am a huge black swamp of blood. The swamp is incapable of thought.
A frozen red world unfolds, trapped by the evening sun. A single girl stands in the
midst of this desolate red world. Her back slowly shrinks as she walks into the
cold red water. The sound of ripples. Turn around turn around turn around turn
around I just want her to turn around. I reach out. I reach out and take her hand.
Say it.
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Time is running out. But now, 0-hour on my countdown is when Kokone will die,
instead of when the 'Cinema' will destroy my 'box'.
"——Aah."
I intended to change the world. I intended to make people realize what guilt
truly meant by mass-producing 'Dog Humans'. I intended to rid the world of
mindless people. I was okay with destroying myself as long as someone
succeeded me. I thought that Iroha Shindou might be able to do it. I was
convinced that Aya Otonashi would be able to do it. I had decided to create a
gentle and stable world where no tragedies would ever occur again, a world
where no one had to share our fate. I was willing to pay any price, even my very
soul.
A gentle world.
A just world.
Yeah, it was a pure and honest wish; I strove harder than anyone else to make it
come true.
However.
However.
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—I know.
—I knew.
right,
in reality,
Where am I?
"I"
"I"
I fall to my knees.
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The middle school boy covers his tears with his hands.
"Kokone,"
And so—
—I've lost.
I open my eyes.
Without missing a beat, Kazu thrusts his hand into her chest and takes out a
'box'. It's the copy of my 'Shadow of Sin and Punishment' that I gave her.
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I can't move. I can't even fight back the listlessness that the 'Cinema' is forcing
upon me.
The last scene takes place in the corridor of our middle school.
"Is that," she says while maintaining her sad expression, "a cry for help?"
The moment he says that, the pitch black hole—the abyss—leaps at me and
penetrates my chest. The theater around us begins to get sucked into the hole,
shrinking and distorting into a sphere.
Loss.
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And then I realize that I have just lost the 'Shadow of Sin and Punishment'.
At last, the theater has completely lost its shape and transforms into a red
sphere, while the abyss grows and grows, engulfing more and more of me.
Light.
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We are in front of the multiplex on the third floor of the shopping mall. We have
been transported out of the 'Wish-Crushing Cinema' back to the place where we
entered it.
I can hear the sound of a siren nearby; we had called for an ambulance in
advance. It should arrive here shortly. The place where I told Kokone to stab
herself isn't as fatal as I suggested to Daiya; at the very least, she wouldn't have
died within ten minutes. Besides, Maria has the medical knowledge needed to
administer proper first aid. Unless she has very bad luck, Kokone will survive. My
plan will have succeeded comprehensively if she fully recovers. But even if things
go smoothly—
I refocus my gaze. I can see five other people. Haruaki, clenching his fist; Kokone,
lying on the ground; Maria, treating Kokone, and—
Daiya stares with widened eyes at the person who just put her hand on his
shoulder.
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"Yes, Daiya," I say to him. "You were wrong from the very beginning; you had
already lost."
Miyuki Karino.
This all started when I discovered that Karino-san had obtained a 'box'. Just as an
'owner' can sense others' 'boxes', I have also developed a sense for them due to
constant exposure.
Her 'box' was thoroughly devoted to Daiya. Upon realizing that, I had decided to
take advantage of her and give up on the idea of becoming an 'owner' myself.
"If you had properly reflected upon yourself, you would have noticed Karino-san.
You would have discovered that she was the real 'owner'. But you didn't."
Karino-san silently takes a few steps back. Even though she prepared that 'box'
for Daiya, there is nothing she can say to him.
"Her 'wish' was to have you all to herself. But 'boxes' also grant the negative
feelings that are hidden beneath 'wishes': while she undoubtedly holds you dear,
she also bears a grudge against you for not granting her any peace. Most of all,
she realizes that she can't have you all to herself."
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That's why the 'Wish-Crushing Cinema' tormented Daiya with images of the past
and tried to steal his dearest 'wish' from him...and lasted for a single day.
"It wasn't me, and it wasn't Kokone. Only Karino-san could form a 'box' in such a
distorted manner. You would have realized that if you had reflected upon
yourself—but look at what ended up happening."
Daiya convinced himself that Kokone was the 'owner' and stopped there.
"Since I knew who the real 'owner' was, I realized that everything you said about
your resolve and your beliefs was false; it only seemed to make sense because
you weren't aware of yourself anymore. You know, plunging into your own ruin,
you always seemed..."
The feelings I have bottled up all this time while facing Daiya start to overflow.
I'm unable to return to my everyday life after hurting Kokone so much and
deceiving Haruaki. These scars will never go away. My friendship with Haruaki
will never return to what it used to be.
But I had no other choice, now that I have obtained the 'Empty Box'.
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In the end, I had no other choice but to corner a friend who was crying out for
help.
"Enough," Daiya whispers, his face turned toward the ground. "I don't care."
He touches one of the piercings in his right ear—the first one he ever chose.
He tears it out.
Blood drips down from his ear, but he doesn't seem to feel any pain. With a
gentle expression on his face, he takes Kokone's hand.
His expression resembles the smile that I had only ever seen onscreen.
212
After The Curtain Falls
We're currently on lunch break. I stretch and look out the window. The weather
today is nice, the sun is shining gently down into the classroom, but stormy
weather is expected tomorrow.
I feel a sudden stabbing pain in my right hand. The wound there has already
closed, but I still feel some twinges from time to time.
Kokone is still in the hospital. While her condition isn't critical, the wound I
inflicted on her is anything but shallow. Her stomach will scar over, adding to the
many 'marks' she already bears on her back.
Mogi-san is also still hospitalized. Outwardly, she hasn't changed, but her
attitude toward me has become more distant.
Yuuri-san is often absent from school, probably because she hasn't fully digested
the events of the 'Cinema' yet. In fact, she is absent today. When we talk, she
always tries to appear cheerful, but it's painfully obvious that she feels anything
but.
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After The Curtain Falls
I suddenly lost all motivation to stick around for afternoon classes. Spending
time in this half-empty classroom would just give me a headache.
On my way to the shoe lockers, I hear the term 'Dog Human' spoken by two
chatty girls as they pass me by.
'Dog Humans'.
In the end, they didn't have any lasting impact. Once all the victims regained
their memories, the riddle became less interesting, and the media soon stopped
reporting on it. The variety show that had continuously focused on the issue also
jumped to a new scandal: some extramarital affair involving a key member of an
idol group and her producer.
Given the scale of the incident, people won't forget about the 'Dog Humans' as
quickly, but it is starting to fade into obscurity; the topic isn't hot anymore.
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After The Curtain Falls
deny that I'm just a bit annoyed that what Daiya has tried to achieve, is being
equated with a trivial incident like that.
That being said, I don't think that Daiya's efforts were entirely futile: I'm sure
there are still some people who reflect on the problems that he brought to the
fore. In order to maintain the attention of the masses, however, he would've had
to keep going. All topics have expiration dates of sorts.
I reach the shoe lockers. No one reproaches me for leaving early as I change into
my leather shoes.
The students playing baseball and basketball on the school grounds catch my
eye.
This school hasn't really changed, either, despite the creation of so many
[servants]. They have all forgotten about the 'box', although a few of them may
have suffered serious after-effects. But that isn't enough to have a real impact
on everyday school life.
"......"
I wonder why?
For some reason, I feel a bit uncomfortable. Even though I stopped Daiya, even
though that was what I wanted all along, it saddens me somehow that nothing
has changed at all.
If Daiya couldn't change anything even though he was willing to accept self-
destruction, how much meaning can be found in our existence? Why is it that
everyday life remains unaffected even though one student suffered a serious
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After The Curtain Falls
injury, another student quit school, and another student disappeared without a
trace?
In fact, that's why I believe in the sanctity of everyday life; why I believe that I
can save Maria by making her part of this self-equilibrating everyday life.
The reason I am being so sentimental right now is—although he might not agree
anymore—Daiya is my friend. I feel that his endeavors deserve to pay off at least
a little bit.
"Daiya..."
After that incident, I only met him once. He stopped dyeing his hair and removed
his piercings, and came to school to hand in an official withdrawal form. I
screwed my courage to the sticking point and tried to talk to him, but he just
smiled weakly and then ignored me.
I leave school, get on the train, and finally arrive at a very familiar five-story
apartment complex. I have never pressed any button in this elevator apart
from 1F and 4F, and that's not about to change. I press 4F like I always do and
head to room 403.
I take the duplicate key Maria gave me and unlock the door.
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After The Curtain Falls
No one is present.
I briskly remove my shoes and make myself at home again in this empty
apartment. But there is no sign of Maria anymore.
Nowhere.
I could endure the lack of furniture; there were never many things here to begin
with.
The scent I associate with Maria is missing, making me realize that Maria won't
be returning.
"Maria..."
She disappeared.
Once she finished treating Kokone's wounds that day, she disappeared. I never
let her out of my sight, but she must have bided her time, and somehow found
an opportunity to slip away. I immediately searched the area, but failed to find
her.
She is still registered at school, but I doubt she plans to return, especially since
she also moved out.
"——aahAah!"
218
After The Curtain Falls
I can hardly breathe; I feel as if the oxygen in my lungs is being sucked away. My
chest throbs with pain because I want to see her, because I want to see her so
much. I tear up. I can't even tell if I'm sad or embittered or feeling some other
emotion; it just hurts so much that I can't hold back my tears.
I'm going to find her whatever it takes. Whatever. It. Takes. If I have to kill every
single person on this planet, I'm ready to engage in mass genocide at the drop of
a hat.
I take out the peppermint oil I bought earlier and start walking around the
apartment, dribbling the oil on the floor. However, the nostalgic fragrance that
spreads about brings me no comfort. It's not enough. A few drops of oil is never
going to be enough for me.
"Hah...ah...hah!"
Oh Maria.
The real Maria without a 'box'. The pure Maria I haven't encountered yet.
If it would release you, I would gladly rip open Aya Otonashi's skin!
219
After The Curtain Falls
—Click.
I'm very nervous. Needless to say, I have no right to be here, yet I'm carelessly
sprinkling aroma oil as if it were my own home. If someone from the
management company is coming in, I'm screwed.
However, when I see who it is, I realize that my concerns were silly.
"'O'."
The two of us have met several times now. Not all of our encounters changed
things for the worse, but it's a different story this time.
—For what?
'O' answers:
220
After The Curtain Falls
Even after losing the 'Shadow of Sin and Punishment', I[4] could remember most
of my knowledge concerning the 'boxes'. I don't know why, but I assume it has to
do with my knowledge of them even prior to obtaining one.
I walk along the streets of Shinjuku. It's crowded. But unlike last time, I'm not
struck by a dizzy spell. I don't see any sins when I step onto someone's shadow.
While I know that people are hiding polluted sludge within their bodies, the
crowd no longer resembles a wriggling garbage sack.
I reach up to touch my piercing, but remember that I won't find anything metallic
there anymore. I smile wryly instead.
In the middle of the crowd, I suddenly get down on my knees. I stretch out my
back and gracefully prostrate myself.
No matter how you look at it, what I'm doing is just plain weird.
—All right.
I raise my head. Several people are giving me wry looks, but most people just
ignore me and try not to get involved. That's the limit of the influence I can wield
by doing something weird. That's all the influence I can wield now that I can no
longer control anyone.
"Heh..."
221
After The Curtain Falls
That's okay.
Yeah, that's right. To me, the world has become a group of people that I will
never have anything to do with again.
However—
I turn around.
"Ah, it's you?" I say as I contort my face. To be honest, I'd rather not see that
face again. "Do you still want something from me?"
In response to my attitude, she widens her eyes and starts desperately babbling.
I don't understand a word of what she's saying in her agitated state, but after I
patiently listen to her for a while, I finally understand what she wants from me.
Apparently, she still wants me to act like a god and save the world.
"You want me to guide you? That's impossible; I don't have that power anymore.
...What? You don't care if I have that power or not? You're not making sense.
Anyway, let me make this clear: I don't want nor do I intend to do something like
that again."
She isn't happy with my answer. She gets all worked up once more and tries to
persuade me. What a stubborn girl. She doesn't even remember the 'box' I used
on her anymore.
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After The Curtain Falls
"Could you please stop it already? Don't expect anything else from me. I'm just a
high school student—no, I'm not even that anymore. I'm just a failure who
couldn't even properly attend my classes—I'm just a human!"
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After The Curtain Falls
"Huh?"
In a matter of moments, they're stained with the blood streaming out of me.
I spit out blood and look at the face of the person who stabbed me. Only now do
I notice that I may have been talking with her, but I didn't really take heed of her.
I treated her like a delusion within my own mind.
Only after being injured like this could I truly recognize her.
Only after injuring me like this could she make me recognize her existence.
"A human you say? Who are you kidding?" she says as she looks down at me
with vacant eyes. "You are a god."
The bob-haired middle school girl drops a large kitchen knife and starts to spread
my blood on her face like make-up.
The people around us finally take notice of what's going on and start to scream.
She dashes off with these final words, bumping into person after person.
224
After The Curtain Falls
She quickly disappears. But it won't be long until she breaks under the burden of
what she did. She's up against a wall. This world will never be so gentle and just
as to protect her.
That's what my failed attempt at guiding people as a would-be god has brought
forth.
"——Ha."
"——Haha."
So this is the result of what I did, huh? It's so horrible I have to laugh.
But now that I think about it, it shouldn't come as a surprise. Why did I think that
I could get away without being punished, anyway? Did I think that the
consequences of my actions would magically disappear?
Even after losing my power, I still corner others, and others corner me.
What goes around comes around. I was expecting my ruin all along, so in a
sense, my expectation just came true.
However.
I lament.
I don't wish for my own ruin anymore. I don't desire such an outcome. Yet I
ended up this way because I put the gears of fate in motion toward my own ruin.
225
After The Curtain Falls
I have passed the point of no return long ago? Well, shut up. What should I do
then? I mean, I—
I want to live.
Kokone.
I was blind and now I see what's right. I don't care if I can't do anything. I don't
care if I just become a burden. I still want to be with you. I realize that this is
what I want, what I was supposed to do...and yet!
I mustn't lose like this. I mustn't die here. The nearest police station should be
right around the corner. I have to get there.
No one bothers to help me as I stagger through the crowd, dripping with blood.
Each and every person just tries to avoid me. I wasn't able to change the world's
indifference.
226
After The Curtain Falls
I try to laugh, but I can't. I've reached my limits rather quickly. I can't push my
legs anymore; my consciousness is slowly fading away. The world starts to whirl
around me.
It ends here.
If there were anyone who could save me in this situation, she would be the very
manifestation of hope.
227
After The Curtain Falls
His gray jacket is soaked in blood. His wound is deeper than Kirino's, and I don't
have any first aid supplies on hand.
I didn't randomly run into him. I had nowhere else to go, so I had been following
Oomine. There was no greater significance to my actions; he had once given me
the opportunity to make my 'Flawed Bliss' flawless, so I was hoping that he might
give me another chance. Absurdly. Naïvely.
So when he whispered, "You did come, after all," I figured he'd noticed that I was
tailing him.
But I'm sure that's not it. I must still represent his hopes, even now that he has
lost his 'box'.
While I am truly proud of this, I find it vexing that I can't seem to meet his
expectations.
"Hang on, I'm calling an ambulance. Try to stay conscious until then," I say
hurriedly, knowing full well that it might already be too late.
With the last of his strength, Oomine spits out the only way to save him.
228
After The Curtain Falls
No, I still can't say that I'm okay with that. Even after I've witnessed what he's
become. The practically eternal length of time we spent together lets him rule
over my heart whether I desire it or not. Yes, rule over it. Kazuki has taken root
throughout the human parts of my heart. He is everywhere and it's impossible to
remove him.
I won't be the same person anymore once I forget about Kazuki. I will turn into a
being that's similar, but different—with the same body and the same goal.
Ah...why didn't I act before things got to this stage? Why didn't I immediately cut
Kazuki loose?
Did I give in to indolence and wallow in the coziness of living with him? Did I
enjoy my lifestyle, neglecting my goal?
—No.
I shake my head mentally. My bonds with Kazuki are anything but weak. They
aren't something I could have severed with a simple change of heart. It was
unavoidable that our bonds grew so strong, given the existence of the 'Rejecting
Classroom'.
229
After The Curtain Falls
There are absolute bonds between Kazuki and me; bonds that were fated to
develop.
"——!"
But, then—
Does the word "me" have any meaning when I keep disappearing? Do "I" really
exist when I will eventually vanish?
What am "I"?
"Fufu..."
And right now, right before my eyes, there is a person who seeks my 'Flawed
Bliss'.
I smile at Oomine.
230
After The Curtain Falls
There is no hesitation.
"Please." Oomine stretches his blood-stained hand out to touch my cheek. His
touch is so weak that I realize he is at his absolute limit. "I don't want to die."
Suddenly, I remember a person who had a similar 'wish' and was trapped in a
world of endless repetitions, because she couldn't wholeheartedly believe in her
own survival.
I vanish.
I vanish.
231
After The Curtain Falls
I sink toward the bottom of the sea. It's completely dark and I'm unable to see
anything, even my own hands. I lose my shape. I stop feeling my cold, frozen
body. I don't know where I am. Perhaps I'm the deep sea itself.
I can hear laughter from afar, many laughing voices. But they're not real, and I
don't approach them.
Because people can't see themselves here, there is no need to show off. My hard
shell has been crushed by the water pressure, and my soft spot has been
exposed—it's something that no one must see. It's my weak self. My former self.
But it doesn't matter because no one else is here.
"——Ah."
A light that shouldn't be here turns on and interrupts my solitude; it's a light that
lacks gentleness-a strong spotlight that singles out sinners. Its brightness causes
me to squint my eyes.
She appears.
"'O'."
However.
She's not. No, she is 'O', but she's not. This charming smile belongs to—
"Aya, Onee-chan."
232
After The Curtain Falls
How my 'box' works. That my 'Flawed Bliss' stays flawed. That my efforts are
futile. That everything I have done is no different than wandering aimlessly
through this pitch-black sea. That I keep erasing my memory to avoid noticing
this.
I understand everything.
But then...?
"Of course!"
"Mm," I nod.
"Mm."
I am so happy that I try to smile as well, but because my face is frozen, I can't tell
if I succeeded.
233
After The Curtain Falls
"You will have to keep wandering for that reason, Maria. You will keep seeking
perfection even though what is flawed will forever remain flawed. You will keep
forgetting about yourself as you search for something that doesn't exist."
"Perhaps..."
"Your 'wish', Maria, is to strive for your ideal," she says, smiling oh-so-dearly at
me. But once your 'Flawed Bliss' became flawless, wouldn't you realize that there
is no Aya Otonashi within you?"
"Aah, I see."
"————————Anyway."
I won't stop. No matter how pointless it is, and even if it's no different from
endlessly diving into the sea.
Right, I—
234
After The Curtain Falls
I wake up. I am in the middle of Shinjuku, sitting with one knee on the ground. I'm
positioned as if I were holding someone, but there is no one in my arms.
I notice that I'm drenched with blood. I have no idea why, but oddly, I feel no
surprise or fear.
There is a white space in my head; a hole of such size that I can't possibly fill it.
The hole is so gigantic that my body starts to shake just because I'm thinking
about it.
I see. I vanished.
Without any memories of my family and friends, I have nowhere to take refuge.
235
After The Curtain Falls
—Where am I?
—Who am I?
" "
The name that person used felt very amicable and warm. For some reason, I feel
as if that voice could clear up the riddle of my identity in a matter of moments.
I turn around.
However, I only see people who are completely indifferent toward me. No one
here could have called out to me that way.
" "
Again.
But then I notice: even though I feel that person calling out to me, I don't
know what that voice is saying.
"What...?"
I touch my cheeks.
"Why am I crying?"
236
After The Curtain Falls
While it doesn't matter anymore, it must have been something that was not
supposed to be lost.
But...
"...Eh?"
I try to remember, but I can't. I can't recall what I was thinking a second ago, but
I also feel that it doesn't really matter.
237
Author's Notes
Author's Notes
Hi, I'm Eiji Mikage and you've just read Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria 6. I
visualized the end of this tale long ago, so actually writing it down is deeply
touching.
This may be a bit random, but my motto is that "a pro must not be human.”
It's a statement that Ou-san, a person who I deeply respect, made on TV when
he still was the coach of the Hawks[5]. This may not be the exact wording, but I
think he said something along these lines:
"Every human makes mistakes. But players who think that they are permitted to
make mistakes because they are only human will inevitably make the same
mistakes again. Therefore, pros must not be human."
I was quite impressed. I thought that his powerful awareness of the role of a
professional allowed him to achieve such great success.
238
Author's Notes
Thank you, Tetsuo-san, for the gorgeous illustrations you create for every
volume. My anticipation of each new set of drawings encourages me as I write
this story.
All right, there is one more volume left in this tale. Looking back, this project was
so hard to write that I almost gave up while working on the first volume. I've
finally come this far, and I will definitely finish what I have started, so I would
really appreciate it if you accompanied me to the end of my journey.
Furthermore, I will announce a new work in spring[6]. I think that readers of this
series will also enjoy the new one, so if you'd like, do give it a shot.
I'm working passionately on both series, so please don't push me too hard to get
the last volume out already, okay?!
—Eiji Mikage
239
Notes and References
240