Field Guide For Fathers.: Talking To Children - The Basic Foxhole Father Philosophy
Field Guide For Fathers.: Talking To Children - The Basic Foxhole Father Philosophy
Field Guide For Fathers.: Talking To Children - The Basic Foxhole Father Philosophy
Chapter 1
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Thank you for downloading the first chapter of Foxhole Father, The
Field Guide for Fathers.
Chapter 1
The basic Foxhole Father philosophy starts with becoming the masculine
nonjudgmental sanctuary for your children. This should be the basis for
your fathering.
Your Foxhole Father mission is to teach them the life skills to successfully
navigate those choices.
Along with their mother, you are the first and most important teacher they
will ever have. You are their life’s guide. Every interaction with your
children must start with absolute respect for them as individuals.
Your children will say or do things that upset you. That is a given. This
book will show you how to approach these situations to give your children
the best possible outcomes.
When situations arise, listen with respect and objectivity. If you believe
they are about to make a decision not in THEIR best interest, express why
you believe that. Remember, your reasons should always be based on their
best interest. Express them that way. Your advice should never be based
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The Field Guide for Fathers
Chapter 1
www.foxholefather.com
You should always acknowledge that you know their best thought process
brought them to the choices they are making. You should always
acknowledge that they are human just like you, and that they are doing
the best they can to navigate their lives.
Have faith that there are ways to have constructive discussions related to
controversial and emotionally charged topics. Much of this is in your control
and in the level of self-control you maintain. If you are truly dedicated,
you can become the father your children need and deserve, ever
considering the long-term ramifications of even the smallest interaction.
You have a life’s worth of perspectives and insights formed from your
accumulated experiences.
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The Field Guide for Fathers
Chapter 1
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If you don’t approach your children the right way, all of the benefits of your
life experiences could be ignored by them.
The perspectives and insights, acquired over our lifetimes, form the very
fabric of our psychological and emotional being. We can call these our “gut
feelings” or “instincts,” but they also can be called ingrained personal
tendencies and biases.
We need to remember it’s not about us, and our parenting instincts
derived from our life experience will not necessarily equate to the correct
parenting for our children. So, using one of my basic parenting tenets, we
should evaluate every situation individually and with an open mind, and
base our parenting on what is best for the child. This type of parenting is
more difficult and more time consuming.
How so?
Some fathers simply follow their first knee-jerk reactions in all situations.
These emotion-based decisions are quick and easy for the father but
sometimes harmful for the children. This type of decision making rarely
considers the child adequately.
The Foxhole Father will take each parenting moment separately and
evaluate it based on what is best for each individual child. The Foxhole
Father is patient, thoughtful and deliberate.
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The Field Guide for Fathers
Chapter 1
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Too often parents react to surface facts and make incorrect assumptions
without allowing their children to fully express themselves. These incorrect
assumptions are then filtered through the parent’s accumulated life
experience, the child’s best interest is not considered, and parenting
decisions are made. We can all see how this can lead to parenting
disasters. Many parenting situations are treated one dimensionally and
with little planning and forethought about the best possible outcomes.
Using the steps listed above will teach your children to be independent
thinkers.
Your children will begin to see you as their advocate and protector.
Learning and using the steps above could open you and your children to an
entirely new relationship.
Intense situations are some of the best teaching moments you will ever
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The Field Guide for Fathers
Chapter 1
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Foxhole Father, The Field Guide for Fathers gives you tools to avoid many
common parenting pitfalls.
Thank you for downloading the first chapter of Foxhole Father, The Field
Guide for Fathers.