International

GCSE English
Literature (9-1)
Component 2: Poetry and Prose
Texts and Imaginative Writing

Exemplar Scripts and

Commentaries
Summer 2019 Series
Introduction
• The purpose of this pack is to provide teachers and students with some examples of
responses to International GCSE English Language Component 2: Poetry and Prose
Texts and Imaginative Writing (4EA1/02).

• The responses in this pack were taken from the Summer 2019 examination series. The
question papers and mark schemes can be found of the Pearson website.

• In this pack, you will find a sample of responses, examiner commentaries and marks.

• If you have any enquiries regarding these materials or have any other questions about
the course, please contact the English subject advisor team on
teachingenglish@pearson.com

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 Page

Introduction 2

4EA1/02 4
Section A – Reading: Exemplar Scripts 5

Section A – Reading: Exemplar Script Commentaries 30

Section B – Imaginative Writing: Exemplar Scripts 35

Section B – Imaginative Writing: Exemplar Script Commentaries 53

4EA1/02R 58
Section A – Reading: Exemplar Scripts 59

Section A – Reading: Exemplar Script Commentaries 79

Section B – Imaginative Writing: Exemplar Scripts 83

Section B – Imaginative Writing: Exemplar Script Commentaries 103

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4EA1/02

4
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5
S2

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S5

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 SECTION A: READING

Question 1

Script Commentaries Mark

S1 This response meets Level 1. There is basic understanding Level 1
of the text (the narrator is speaking about events, objects 3 marks
are moving). The selection and interpretation of
information, ideas or perspectives is limited. The candidate
does identify 1st person and descriptive language, showing
basic understanding of language and structure, but little
awareness of how it is used to achieve effects other than
‘sounds like a classy person’. The use of references is
limited to one lengthy quotation.

A mark in the middle of Level 1 is appropriate, because the

response is so short, but the response touches on the first,
third and fourth bullets of the MS in Level 1.
S2 This answer starts by describing events, and there is an Level 2
attempt to focus on the question, ‘to interest the reader’, 8 marks
although the first part of the answer is merely feature-
spotting techniques: ‘making the title of the story a
question’ (which is incorrect), ‘pathetic fallacy to
foreshadow an event’. There is some understanding of the
text, with a valid (but underdeveloped) point on
foreshadowing and false sense of reality on page 2. The
bottom of page 1 shows some understanding of the effect
of language, in the ‘to make the reader believe [sic] that the
character has a false sense of security’, although it is not
clearly linked to the examples offered. On page 2 the
candidate identifies personification but does not offer much
in way of explanation (it is more identification, Level 1, and
comment, Level 2). The comment on overthinking things
again shows some understanding of the text but is quite
confused and not developed. The selection of references is
valid, but not developed.

The response meets the first bullet in Level 2, the second

and third bullet points in Level 1/2 (given the interpretation
and range of ideas is a little limited and language is
identified and commented on) and the final bullet point in
Level 2. Given that the candidate has met Level 1 and
touches on Level 2 in bullets 1 and 4, this answer achieves
a mark of 8 at the lower end of Level 2.

30
S3 This response is an example of one which shows clarity of Level 3
expression and organisation. However, this is not a 18 marks
requirement for the assessment of this question. The
candidate starts by offering a general introduction which is
unnecessary but does secure their answer to the question
focus.

In the first point appropriate and relevant selection is made

and shows sound understanding of the narrator’s changing
feelings. It moves to rational thoughts and clearly shows
the change to irrational thoughts on hearing the cry
followed by the narrator’s inner dilemma. However, this is
not completely developed. The answer offers explanation
of the change of mood, calm and also violent rage
(although this could be clearer), with explanation of
emotive language which could be exemplified more
thoroughly. There is sound explanation of language and
structure: the use of simile, ‘powerful unusual vocabulary’,
rhetorical questions, emotive language, short sentence,
pathetic fallacy onomatopoeia, personification and literary
devices with some clear comments on effect, for example it
creates suspense, foreshadows, it interests the reader.
There is some feature-spotting, for example the auditory
imagery and structural comments. The references are
appropriate and relevant.

The response meets all of the bullet points in Level 3.

There is sound understanding of the text, and selection
and interpretation of information, ideas, perspectives is
appropriate and relevant to the points being made. For
AO2 there is clear understanding and explanation of
language and structure and how these are used by writers
to achieve effects, including use of vocabulary and
sentence structure. The selection of references is
appropriate and relevant to the points being made. The
answer does not move into Level 4 as the effects are not
explored, and there is a lack of detail.
S4 As with S3, the candidate starts by offering a general Level 4
introduction which is unnecessary but does secure their 21 marks
answer to the question focus.

In the second paragraph the candidate shows exploration

of language (Level 4): the simile to ‘describe the house as
being completely isolated and that the extreme weather
had caused the destructive appearance of the house’.
There is also some explanation (Level 3) evident here, the

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 personification used to create ‘a further sense of horror for
the reader’. There is evidence of exploration of pathetic
fallacy and its effect, (it is used to reflect the ‘dark and
scary atmosphere’, and the contrast between childhood
memories and reality is explored with appropriate
references. There is explanation of structure (the gradual
build-up of tension, use of short sentences, listing) and
some exploration (repetition of rhetorical questions,
repetition) and this is linked to the effect on the reader.
Dialogue and metaphorical language is explained, as are
descriptive actions. The final point on the ending shows
exploration.

This is a sustained response which does move out of Level

3. While there are some features of language and structure
that are just explained (Level 3), there are parts that show
exploration, moving this into Level 4. This response meets
the first bullet fully in Level 4, with sustained understanding
of the text. The second bullet point is met more in Level 3,
with appropriate and relevant selection and interpretation
of information, ideas and perspectives. There is clear and
sometimes thorough understanding and explanation/
exploration of a range of language and structure features
with appropriate references to meet Level 3 and
sometimes Level 4. This is because there are a range of
features covered and there are some places where these
features are explored. There is a lack of depth and detail to
move more securely into the higher end of Level 4. This is
a response where ‘best-fit’ applies and it is useful to
consider whether the higher level can be given.
S5 This answer starts by immediately focusing on the use of Level 5
the supernatural, with the reference to ‘suspension of 25 marks
disbelief’, linked to the example of the wind and its effect of
creating ‘a tangible link from the supernatural to the
natural’. This effect is thoroughly explored with plenty of
detail in terms of the reader’s response. There is thoughtful
organisation as the response moves to the use of the
narrator’s thoughts to convince readers. Sustained and
thorough understanding continues with exploration of
language, for example the understanding of how he
questions himself about the ghost, going from not believing
it to confirming he does believe it and the effect on the
reader from that. Some points, for example the point about
the relatability to the reader, are a little repetitive.

While the response meets Level 4 fully, there are touches

of perception which shows some achievement of Level 5,

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 particularly around the protagonist not being as you would
expect, and the incessant nature of the wind. Textual
references fully support the points being made, are well-
embedded, and show detailed exploration of how they
achieve effects. Towards the end of the response the effect
is more explained, i.e. ‘since they want to read on’, but this
does not detract from the level of detail and exploration
evident.

The response meets all the bullet points in Level 4, and

with a few touches of perception just moves into Level 5 at
the bottom of this level. Again, this is a response where
‘best-fit’ applies and it is useful to consider whether the
higher level can be given. It would need to show more
perceptive understanding throughout to be more securely
in the level.
S6 This is an example of an answer you may start out, as we Level 5
did, considering Level 4 or low Level 5, particularly given 30 marks
the quality of spelling. It is important to remember that
spelling is not assessed on this question. On further
reading, and reading out loud, we agreed it did everything
in Level 5 to achieve full marks. An answer does not have
to be ‘perfect’ to achieve the top of the mark range – the
consideration is ‘has it done everything in the Level’.

This response shows perceptive understanding of the text,

despite a general introduction. Responses in Level 5 are
generally characterised by use of discriminating references
– where candidates really think about which examples they
will give to illustrate their points. This candidate does this
and integrates their references very confidently and
seamlessly.

The understanding and analysis of language and structure

is perceptive, meeting this bullet point in Level 5, and the
selection of references is discriminating. The interpretation
of ideas and the impact on the reader is perceptive.
Interwoven points about predatory language,
personification, juxtaposition, simile, foreshadowing,
pathetic fallacy, graphic language, repetition, syntax and
many others are linked to ideas such as sinister
undertones, vulnerability, isolation, psychological
breakdown are apt and persuasive.

This response is placed at the top of Level 5. There is

perceptive understanding of the text, and the selection and
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 interpretation of information, ideas and perspectives is apt
and persuasive in clarifying the points being made. There
is perceptive understanding and analysis of language and
structure and how these are used by the writer. The
selection of references is discriminating and clarifies the
points being made. This answer really sustains the
perceptive understanding, despite its spelling errors.
S7 This answer begins with a clear focus on the question, and Level 3
there is evidence of sound understanding that the writer 15 marks
uses description, and clear comment that this has the
effect ‘to aid the reader in understanding the situation to
better follow the story’. Language features are mostly
clearly explained, for example similes, personification,
onomatopoeia, but in some cases the candidate lists
techniques without much explanation. On the second page
the points are more securely explained, for example ‘house
mirrors Arthur’, ‘Arthur’s emotional turmoil’ and ‘unhinge
Arthur’s mind’. There is more developed point on the fear
of the unknown and how it begins to unhinge the narrator’s
mind but then the candidate struggles to explain this effect,
‘more relatable to the reader’.

This response is an example of a mid-Level 3, point,

evidence, example answer. It meets the first bullet in Level
3, with sound understanding of the text, although this is not
always secure and can be repetitive. The second bullet
point in Level 3 is mostly met with some appropriate and
relevant selection and interpretation of information and
ideas, although there can be some repetition and lack of
development. There is clear understanding and
explanation of language and structure with appropriate
references to meet Level 3 – AO2 is more securely into
Level 3 than AO1. Although uneven, ‘best fit’ places this at
the middle of Level 3.

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S8

35
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S9

39
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S10

43
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S11

46
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S12

49
S13

50
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 SECTION B: IMAGINATIVE WRITING

Question 2

Script Commentaries Mark

S8 This response starts with quite a lively tone and creates an AO4 Level 4
effective image of the arrival in Atlanta. Until the end of the AO5 Level 4
piece there is a secure realisation of purpose and
audience. There are some effective descriptive touches: 13+9 = 22
‘face pressed against the window’, ‘overpowering’, ‘worked marks
tirelessly’. The communication of the idea of the candidate
visiting Atlanta for the first time is successful, and the tone
is always appropriate and clear and sometimes effective
(the section on Coca Cola is more Level 3).

For AO4 the candidate communicates successfully in the

main (Level 3/Level 4). The candidate shows mostly
secure grasp of the purpose and of the expectations of the
intended reader (Level 3/4), and quite effective use of form,
tone and register (Level 3/Level 4).

For AO5 the candidate manages information and ideas,

apart from the section on the visit to Coca Cola. There is a
wide, selective vocabulary, with accurate spelling, for
example immigration, suburbs, overbearing, sightseeing,
overpowering, tirelessly. Occasional errors do not detract
from those which are correct. A range of punctuation is
used, and sentence structures are managed for deliberate
effect, for example ‘Too tired to function properly, I headed
straight to bed, excited for what the next day would bring’.
In some cases the vocabulary is repetitive, and the
management of ideas is lost slightly at the end, achieving
securely into Level 4 for AO5, but not the top.
S9 This is an interesting and engaging story and the opening AO4 Level 5
grips the reader with a short sentence. As this is an AO5 Level 4
unusual response, it benefits from reading out loud. There
is successful communication of the experience at the lake, 16+10 = 26
contrasted with the experience of the narrator’s father, and marks
the experiences of animals, and successful communication
of the complex feelings the narrator has about God’s
creation of nature and death, hopelessness and fatigue.
There is effective use of form, tone and register, and there
some sophisticated touches, for example in ‘The air’s taste
was not one of God’s beauty but one of fatigue and

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 hopeless’, in spite of the unfinished word, and the
questioning tone taken. There is some subtlety of ideas
which appear quite complex (religion, the form of the
narrator – are they human, animal?).

For AO4 the candidate meets all of the bullets in Level 4,

with successful communication and effectiveness in the
use of form, tone and register. There is a secure sense of
purpose (visiting a new place) and the audience. There are
some ‘glimmers’ of Level 5, in the subtle and complex
ideas, but in some cases ambition has limited the
candidate moving higher as it is perhaps too complex to
communicate in a perceptive way. The response
sometimes overstretches and becomes a little repetitive
(not for effect), for example the idea of being
underwhelmed and the questioning of God.

For AO5 the candidate manages information and ideas,

with structural and grammatical features used cohesively
and deliberately across the text – for example the balanced
crafting at the bottom of page 2– ‘grey and leafless’
(potential play on words with ‘lifeless’, ‘stagnant and
lifeless’, the alliteration of ‘deer dash’. There is use of a
wide, selective vocabulary, for example quivering,
inevitable, stagnating, depiction but there are spelling
errors. The candidate positions a punctuation for clarity,
although perhaps not a broad range (speech marks,
question marks) and there is some definite management of
sentence structures for deliberate effect, for example the
short sentence ‘I was underwhelmed’ and the complex
sentence. They meet all of the bullet points of Level 4,
although the spelling and lack of range of punctuation
meets ‘best-fit’ mid-Level 4.

Question 3

Script Commentaries Mark

S10 The candidate indicates from their plan a clear organisation AO4 Level 3
– with beginning, middle and end. The response is an AO5 Level 4
appropriate story with clear form, and the story moves
clearly from the day starting out bright and positive, moving 10+8 = 18
to clouds coming in and the storm arriving, to the (rather marks
quick) passing of the storm. The sense of purpose and
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 audience is clear, although the ideas may appear simplistic
and a little too fast-paced to be secure.

For AO4 the candidate communicates in a clear way (Level

3). There is a clear sense of purpose and audience. The
strongest of the bullets is the third, where there is
appropriate use of form, tone and register (Level 3), and
the second page is stronger than the first. It does almost
everything required for Level 3 but is not borderline Level
3/4 in order to achieve 11 marks.

For AO5 the candidate connects appropriate information

and ideas, although these could be developed more (they
start out being quite developed, but then move in a very
fast-paced way which impacts on development). Structural
and grammatical features and paragraphing make the
meaning clear. The candidate tries hard to vary punctuate
sentences and openings, for example using repetition for
effect. The final paragraph of page 1 is typical of this
response, with varied vocabulary (Level 3), employing
technique but ending in a spelling error which spoils the
climax! Likewise, control is not always secure, for example
at the top of page 2. The response meets all of the bullets
in Level 3, and just moves into Level 4 by meeting the third
bullet – there is a range of punctuation for clarity, for
example ellipsis, question and exclamation mark, dashes,
speech marks, and the management of sentence
structures for deliberate effect, for example ‘Everyone
froze. Nothing moved. No sound.’
S11 This candidate takes an unusual approach to the task, with AO4 Level 5
the mystery of how the narrator came to be on the raft (we AO5 Level 5
do not worry too much that the candidate says both raft
and boat). The opening is effective, and by the end there is 18+12 = 30
a realisation that it is perceptive and subtle. It is important marks
to remember that what a young person sees as subtle
communication is not always what we might expect! The
task is sharply focused on purpose and the expectations of
the intended reader, with the motif of the thirst and desire
for water contrasted with the water ‘turned into ammunition’
and the use of personification of the wind. For a young
person, there is sophisticated use of form, tone and
register, for example ‘Disappointment would have been an
understatement for what I saw as I looked around’,
‘completely at odds with my insignificant raft’. There is full
achievement of Level 5 – while it is not always fully
sophisticated, this does not mean it cannot achieve full
marks – we do not require perfection.

55
 For AO5 the candidate manipulates complex ideas (the
motif of water used throughout) utilising a range of
structural and grammatical features to support coherence
and cohesion. An extensive vocabulary is used
strategically here, for example caressing, palate, parched,
acclimatise, ammunition, and rare spelling errors do not
detract from overall meaning. There are lots of techniques
subtly employed, for example single line paragraph for
effect, sentence starters, and the repetition of ‘Darkness’ at
the beginning and end. Punctuation is accurate and well-
controlled to aid emphasis and precision, and a range of
sentence structures is used accurately and selectively to
achieve particular effects. AO5 does not have to be perfect
to achieve the top mark of Level 5.

Question 4

Script Commentaries Mark

S12 This is a brief response, and we start thinking of Level 1 in AO4 Level 1
this case. However, communication more than ‘at a basic AO5 Level 2
level, and limited in clarity’ – the message of plans for the
future and the background to this candidate is evident. 3+3 = 6 marks
There is little awareness shown of the purpose of the
writing and the intended reader. It is unclear how this links
to ‘I decided to get on with it’, or how the reader is
engaged. There is some, limited, awareness of form, tone
and register. It does not use the images for this question,
but this is not essential and they are just there for support.

The response meets Level 1 fully for AO4, since it borders

on communicating in a broadly appropriate way. For AO4,
therefore, the response meets Level 1 fully, with a mark of
3. For AO5 the candidate does express information and
ideas, and there is limited use of structural and
grammatical features (although there are two paragraphs).
The candidate does meet the second bullet point in Level
2, as the response has some correctly spelt vocabulary, for
example accountant, examination, because, Everything,
family, although there are frequent errors. The third bullet
point is met in Level 1, as there is punctuation used with
basic control, and underdeveloped, often repetitive,
sentence structures. It is important that the errors do not
negate the positives.

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S13 As with S12, it is difficult to see the connection here with AO4 Level 2
the title, unless in broad terms it is making a decision about AO5 Level 2
the future. The candidate explains coming to the country
with limited English, studying for examinations and not 7+4 = 11 marks
getting the grades they needed, then making a decision
about the future.

For AO4 the candidate meets all of the bullet points in

Level 2. Communication is broadly appropriate with some
sense of the purpose and reader. The form, tone and
register are straightforward. This is a response to read
aloud, as you can hear that the communication is not
always clear but is broadly appropriate.

In AO5 the candidate uses paragraphs mostly correctly

and information is ordered at a basic level. There is some
correctly spelt vocabulary, for example teachers, speaking,
translate, friends, finally, enough, but there are also some
words that are indecipherable. Punctuation is used with
some control and there is an attempt to create a range of
sentence structures including coordination and
subordination (although sentences with subordination are
not punctuated correctly). Again, all of the bullet points of
Level 2 are met.

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S15

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S16

65
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S17

69
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S18

72
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S19

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 SECTION A: READING

Question 1

Script Commentaries Mark

S14 This response meets the top of Level 1. There is more than Level 1
basic understanding of the text (the stranger, the henna, 6 marks
Indian culture, the new place, western style, she will look
for the unknown girl). The second page does really repeat
the first points. The selection and interpretation of
information, ideas or perspectives is limited (it is very
descriptive, but it is fairly valid in the context of the
question). The candidate does only identify short
sentences and adjectives, showing basic understanding of
language and structure, but little awareness of how it is
used to achieve effects other than ‘to produce a vivid
image’. The use of references is limited in relation the
points made.

A mark in the top of Level 1 is appropriate, because

although the response touches on the first bullet point in
Level 2, the second, third and fourth bullets of the MS in
Level 1.
S15 The script shows some understanding of the poem, Level 2
beginning with a general introduction (the writer is visiting
11 marks
India for the first time, the evening bazaar is part of the
culture of the country). The point about the kameez
representing beauty, the point about the creativity and
changes in culture, the importance of westernisation, the
modernisation of India shows slightly more than just some
understanding and the selection is quite appropriate here –
the candidate does select details which demonstrate Indian
culture. However, some points about the poem are more
basic, based on repeating the meaning of the lines chosen
in own words, rather than interpreting ideas and
perspectives. There is some brief comment on and (rather
limited) understanding of language: reference to simple
words/emotive words/formal language but examples are
not identified in the main (the point about the writer
‘clinging to the situation’ shows more understanding).
There is brief mention of structure (a long sentence/short
sentence) and some comment (the create tension). The
selection of references is valid, but not developed - they
are repeated rather than developed.

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 The response meets the first bullet in Level 2, the second
bullet point in Level 2 (with ‘best-fit’, given that some points
are Level 1 and some are bordering on Level 3), the third
bullet point in Level 1/2 (as language and structure is
identified and in some cases commented on) and the final
bullet point in Level 2. This answer achieves a mark of 11
at the top end of Level 2.
S16 The candidate starts by offering a clear introduction (which Level 4
is unnecessary) but does secure their answer to the 19 marks
question focus. The response shows sound understanding
of the poet's experience and how the unknown girl helps
her discover Indian culture/traditions. The selection of
information, ideas and perspectives shows relevant
selection, and there is evidence that the candidate’s
interpretation supports the idea that the poet wants to
remember her experience and keep her memories. In
some points we may feel that there is almost some
sustained understanding of the poem (not always fully
articulated), for example ‘could also symbolise how this girl
helps the writer discover India’. For the third bullet point
there is clear understanding and explanation of language
and structure, and there are some sections where the
candidate tips into Level 4 with some attempt to explore,
for example the way personification is linked to significance
of the country to the poet. There is some explanation also,
for example the free verse and rhythm, and the ending tails
off into more explanation.

The response meets all of the bullet points in Level 3, and

just moves into Level 4 with some sustained understanding
and some exploration. There is sound understanding of the
text, and selection and interpretation of information, ideas,
perspectives is appropriate and relevant to the points being
made. For AO2 there is clear understanding and
explanation of language and structure and how these are
used by writers to achieve effects, including use of
vocabulary and sentence structure. The selection of
references is appropriate and relevant to the points being
made. The answer does not move higher into Level 4 as
there are areas where some of the effects are not
explored, and there is a lack of detail.
S17 There is sustained understanding of the importance of Level 5
Indian culture/heritage in this response, seen in ‘bazaar’, 25 marks
‘peacock’, juxtaposed with Western culture represented by
the ‘neon’ and ‘dummies’ (suggested criticism). The
selection is appropriate, detailed and quite subtle and
perceptive, for example the positive experience with the
girl, but with the underlying tone of sadness as the poet
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 remains a foreigner. The information offered about the
bazaar, the girl's expertise and the peacock supports this
perspective. Thorough and detailed points are made about
the poet’s perspective, supported by exploration of
language features, for example the idea of icing on a cake,
the symbol of the peacock, the tone of sadness and the
end point on structure.

There is sustained understanding of the poem, for example

‘the poet treasures the Indian culture and craves to
experience nothing but Indian traditions in her visit’, the
idea that ‘what the unknown girl resembled is much more
important than her identity’. In places these do show some
perception, but this does not achieve this throughout (or
articulate this in some places) to move further into Level 5.
This bullet is just achieved in Level 5. The second bullet
point is met fully in Level 4 (it is not quite apt and
persuasive for Level 5, although it could be if more
development had been offered). The understanding of
language and structure is thorough and explored overall
(there are a few places where this could be further
explored), achieving Level 4. The final bullet point is met in
Level 4. ‘Best-fit’ places this just into Level 5.
S18 The opening of this response shows understanding of the Level 4
poem, her experience as ‘a metaphor of the poet clinging 23 marks
on to a part of herself’, and although some of the
candidate’s assertions about the poem we may not agree
with, this understanding is sustained and there is a detailed
selection of information: the liveliness of the bazaar, the
poet’s happiness, the importance of the unknown stranger,
the feeling of longing the poet has, the way the poet clings
to India (and a part of herself), the feeling of loss. The first
two bullet points have been met in Level 4, but there is no
evidence of Level 5 achievement here (perceptive, apt,
persuasive).

There is exploration and understanding of language and

structure, meeting this bullet point in Level 4, and the
selection of references is appropriate to these explorations,
although not always detailed. The candidate offers some
exploration of the experience as a metaphor, semantic
field, words to create liveliness, the description of actions,
simile, although there could be more detail in some places
to achieve Level 4 fully. This response is placed almost at
the top of Level 4. There is sustained understanding of the
text and there is a detailed selection of information. There
is some thorough understanding and analysis of language

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 and structure and how these are used by the writer. The
selection of references is appropriate and fully supports the
points being made.
S19 The candidate moves immediately into reference to Level 3
language in the contrast of neon and peach satin and the 17 marks
reference to ‘icing’ (although these do not securely show
sound understanding of the poem). There is sound
understanding of the poem, however, in the comment on
Indian culture, feelings of sorrow, holding onto the
experience of India, the forsaking of Indian culture and the
hope and happiness of the writer (which touches on some
Level 4 selection).

There is clear understanding and explanation of language,

the peacock and its symbolism, the comparison of the
‘clinging’, the use of the dummies, the reveal of the
peacock, but this is not thorough or wide-ranging to
achieve into Level 4. The selection of references is
appropriate and relevant.

The response touches on of the bullet points in Level 3.

There is sound understanding of the text, and selection
and interpretation of information, ideas, perspectives is
appropriate and relevant to the points being made. There is
some evidence of the candidate starting to explore some
details. For AO2 there is clear understanding and
explanation of language and structure and how these are
used by writers to achieve effects, including use of
vocabulary and sentence structure. There are some areas
at the start where the understanding is not quite sound, so
this answer achieves towards the top of Level 3, but not
right at the top.

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S20

83
84
85
S21

86
87
88
S22

89
90
91
92
S23

93
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95
96
S24

97
98
99
S25

100
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 SECTION B: IMAGINATIVE WRITING

Question 2

Script Commentaries Mark

S20 This response starts with an attempt to create atmosphere AO4 Level 3
‘It was a gloomy morning’, which seems to be contrasted AO5 Level 3
with the happy receipt of the tickets. There is clear
progression through events, with attempt to convey 9+5 = 14 marks
feelings at various points, building to a conclusion: the
tickets, the journey to the venue, the show and the chance
to speak to the actor/singer. While there is no evidence of
paragraphing, the events are ordered and broadly
connected.

For AO4 the candidate meets all of the bullet points in

Level 2, but there is also some achievement of Level 3.
Communication is clear overall, and there is a clear sense
of purpose and some sense of the reader (Level 2/3). The
form, tone and register are straightforward.

In AO5 again, all of the bullet points of Level 2 are met.

There is some awkward expression and a lack of
paragraphs, but the ideas are expressed and ordered, with
some connection of them just slightly nudging Level 3 here.
There is also some varied vocabulary spelt correctly, such
as situation, auditorium, destination, vehicle, memorable.
The final bullet point is met in Level 2, with some control of
punctuation and sentence structure. Given the second
bullet is met in Level 3, a mark of 5 is appropriate.
S21 This response starts with a short sentence for effect, and AO4 Level 3
the attempt to try and create a sense of foreshadowing with AO5 Level 4
‘I had no intentions of missing it’. The response is clear,
and the ideas are clear: the receipt of the black envelope, 11+8 = 19
the invitation to meet Pogba, the date being the same as marks
the birthday party, the VIP pass, potential disappointment
and then the meeting. The candidate attempts to create an
interesting switch from the birthday to meeting Pogba to try
to confound the reader's expectations, although not fully
effective. The response communicates feelings clearly and
successfully at times, for example ‘I felt empty. I was
disappointed. What was happening?’
There is a clear sense of purpose and audience. There are
some attempts to be effective, for example ‘Was it an
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 invitation? What was this black, soft and large envelope?’
The communication of the idea of the candidate meeting
their idol is clear, and the tone is always appropriate and
clear.

For AO4 the candidate communicates clearly in the main,

and the attempt to be effective moves this further into the
Level towards the top. The candidate shows clear
awareness of the purpose and of the expectations of the
intended reader (Level 3), and clear use of form, tone and
register (Level 3). It meets all of the bullet points in Level 3.

For AO5 the candidate develops and connects information

and ideas. As with S2A, there are no paragraphs but it is
easy to follow the progression of the events. There is
varied vocabulary, with accurate spelling, for example
invitation, realised, excitement, adrenaline, humid, queue.
Occasional errors do not detract from those which are
correct. This bullet is met in Level 3. For the final bullet
point the candidate just moves into Level 4, as they use
varied more than a range of punctuation (speech marks,
question marks), sentence structures are managed for
deliberate effect, for example ‘Without thinking I followed
him’, ‘My heart stopped’. This just tips the AO5 mark into
Level 4 with a mark of 8.

Question 3

Script Commentaries Mark

S22 This candidate takes an unusual approach to the task and AO4 Level 5
creates quite a compelling character in the narrator. The AO5 Level 5
candidate subtly combines ordinary details about the
whereabouts of the paintings and their fixings and 18+12 = 30
compares these with the rather macabre comments on the marks
actual paintings themselves. (It does not matter that there
is more than one.) There is a very strong narrative voice
throughout, with some touches of humour providing a
further contrast e.g. with the painting in the ‘powder room’
and the sinister invitation ‘But feel free to drop by anytime’.

The opening is effective in its simplicity, and by the end

there is a realisation that it is perceptive and subtle. It is
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 important to remember that what a young person sees as
subtle communication is not always what we might expect!
The task is sharply focused on purpose and the
expectations of the intended reader, with the gothic
undertone and the strange quirks of the paintings. For a
young person, there is sophisticated use of form, tone and
register, for example ‘comic-book style illustrations to
horrific masterpieces of gothic abominations and
Lovercraftian creatures’. There is full achievement of Level
5 – while it is not always what would be expected to be
seen as sophisticated, its simplicity of writing contrasted
with the complexity of the narrator and the paintings is
sophisticated.

For AO5 the candidate manipulates complex ideas (the

narrator’s thoughts that it is the paintings that are strange
creates an effective parallel with their own strangeness)
utilising a range of structural and grammatical features to
support coherence and cohesion. An extensive vocabulary
is used strategically here, for example peculiar, optimal,
invariably, phenomenon, bewildered, and rare spelling
errors do not detract from overall meaning. There are lots
of techniques subtly employed. Punctuation is accurate
and well-controlled to aid emphasis and precision, and a
range of sentence structures is used accurately and
selectively to achieve particular effects. AO5 does not have
to be perfect to achieve the top mark of Level 5.
S23 As with S22 this candidate takes an unusual and AO4 Level 5
compelling approach. The response is quite reminiscent of AO5 Level 5
Angela Carter or ‘My Last Duchess’ in the anthology. The
response creates a sophisticated combination of two 18+12 = 30
realities and two timescales, one in the room with the marks
painting and one the earlier reality of the narrator’s work,
the farm and his wife. There is perceptive and subtle
movement between the two, making for compulsive
reading (even though it leaves the reader with more
questions than answers – is he in prison, an institution, has
he murdered his wife?)

There are subtle and evocative moments, for example ‘I

wouldn't want to forget the sound of my own
voice...anchoring me to a version of my reality’, ‘...aware of
the passage of time...like a dull headache’. The way the
events gradually unfold, both with regard to the painting
itself and what happened in the ‘real’ world, and whether
the painting he sees is real or not, is sharply focused on

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 purpose and the reader. It meets all of the bullet points for
Level 5 and more.

For AO5 the candidate manipulates complex ideas (the

different worlds and the possible fate of the narrator)
utilising a range of structural and grammatical features to
support coherence and cohesion. An extensive vocabulary
is used strategically here, for example accomplish,
meaningless, comprehend, fervent, veiling, and rare
spelling errors do not detract from overall meaning. There
are lots of techniques subtly employed, for example short
sentences for effect, sentence starters. Punctuation is
accurate and well-controlled to aid emphasis and precision,
and a range of sentence structures is used accurately and
selectively to achieve particular effects.

Question 4

Script Commentaries Mark

S24 This response is again a very successful piece of AO4 Level 5
imaginative writing which uses the first image, with just a AO5 Level 5
faint narrative thread as well. It starts out with effective
repetition of the title idea and idea of silence throughout. 18+11 = 29
The description provides at first a ‘silent wonderland’, then marks
becomes an ominous and threatening silence in the
second half of the script once the trees started to form a
wall and the character became lost. The change in
description of the setting is mirrored by the change in the
character's feelings. The ending is understated and
effective in the use of the rather anonymous ‘big sister’ and
‘little sister’.

Communication is perceptive and subtle in this response,

in a different way again to S22 and S21. The task is
sharply focused on purpose and the expectations and
requirements of the intended reader. As with S22, there is
sophisticated use of form, tone and register (for example
the alliteration ‘Dizzy and disoriented’) while appearing
fairly simple in ideas. It meets all of the bullet points in
Level 5.

For AO5 there is a lack of paragraphs which does need to

be acknowledged, but it is important to note this does not
mean the response cannot achieve Level 5. There is
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 extensive vocabulary and accurate spelling, for example
unrealistic, surreal, tranquillity, numbed,
vanished. Sentence control is ambitious, there is
punctuation to aid emphasis and precision, for example we
can imagine that the capital letters used for ‘Frost’ and
‘Reality’ are deliberate to almost present these as
creatures. The lack of paragraphs does limit the answer
from achieving full marks.
S25 As with previous scripts this is a Level 5 response with top AO4 Level 5
marks of 18 and 12. The well-structured narrative fits the AO5 Level 5
task, using the image of the streetlight, and is deliberately
intriguing: has there been a natural disaster, nuclear 18+12 = 30
attack, an apocalypse? The pace of the narrative is marks
controlled in a very sophisticated way, with the repetition at
the beginning of ‘It was just this morning’, then afternoon,
and the normality of going to collect a takeaway contrasted
with the tragic and unusual circumstances the narrator is
in. The ideas of the early humidity of the day
foreshadowing the potential natural disaster that has
happened and the ashes like ‘snowflakes’ contrasting with
the fire and burning, are subtly and perceptively used.
Details are used in a sophisticated way, for example the
normality of the people, the woman selling ice cream and
the man begging, the restaurant and the post office.

For AO4 the candidate achieves 18 marks. Communication

is perceptive and subtle. The task is sharply focused on
purpose and the expectations and requirements of the
intended reader. There is it is sophisticated use of form,
tone and register. It meets all of the bullet points in Level 5.

For AO5 all of the bullet points in Level 5 are met. There is
frequent use of structural and grammatical techniques for
effect, for example the single line sentences, ‘Everyone
was gone’. The tone is sustained and assured. The range
of vocabulary is used strategically, for example humidity,
deftly, obsidian, and spelling errors are rare. The response
is punctuated with accuracy to aid emphasis and precision,
for example semicolons, question mark, speech marks,
dashes, exclamation marks. Sentence structures are
controlled and varied deliberately for effect, the repetition
of sentences starters and endings for example: ‘… but
burnt’.

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