Byzantium A Friendly Socetty
Byzantium A Friendly Socetty
Byzantium A Friendly Socetty
REFERENCES
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BYZANTIUM: A FRIENDLY SOCIETY?*
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8 PAST AND PRESENT NUMBER 118
cannot marry into the family. The reciprocal use of the institution in
modern Greek and Cypriot society to obtain a protector and extend
one's influence in a village may also be paralleled in Byzantium: Peter
Loizos notes that "national politicians took trouble to baptise children
in Kalo village"; we note that when Michael III went slumming it in
the house of the poor woman he met on emerging from the bath-
house, we are told that he had baptized her son.26 Then again,
although friendship may be defined as "those supra- and extra-kin
relationships and bonds which are entered into voluntarily and/or are
culturally recognised",27 there can be friendships between kinsmen:
Eustathios made it clear that close relatives can also be true friends
and should not be neglected.28 Monodies written by brother for
brother often pack a greater charge of emotion than anything else in
Byzantine literature.29 And what are we to make of the relationship
of bright nephew and episcopal uncle which was so successful in
placing rhetors in jobs in Constantinople in the twelfth century, men
(n. 25 cont.)
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BYZANTIUM: A FRIENDLY SOCIETY? 9
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10 PAST AND PRESENT NUMBER 11 8
36 Another self; the mystical union. See G. Karlsson, Ideologie et ceremonial dans
l'epistolographie byzantine (Studia Graeca Uppsaliensia, iii, Uppsala, 1962), ch. 38, pp.
58-60.
37 For the largely negative biblical attitude to friendship, see Treu, "Freundschaft",
but note the much more positive attitudes of early Fathers: for example, M. A.
McNamara, Friendship in St. Augustine (Freiburg, 1958); A. M. Fiske, "St. Augustine
and Friendship", Monastic Studies, ii (1964), pp. 127-35; V. Nolte, Augustins
Freundschaftideal in seinen Briefen (Wiirzburg, 1939); P. Brown, Augustine of Hippo:
A Biography (London, 1967), ch. 6, pp. 61-4; P. Fabre, S. Paulin de Nole et l'amitie
chretienne (Paris, 1949). Paulinus reorganized his entire circle of friends on his
conversion. K. Treu, "Philia und Agape: Zur Terminologie der Freundschaft bei
Basilios u. Gregor von Nazianz", Studi Classici, iii (1961), pp. 421-7. For patristic
friendship in practice , see now R. Van Dam, "Emperor, Bishops and Friends in Late
Antique Cappadocia", Jl. Theological Studies, new ser., xxxvii (1986), pp. 53-76.
38 This is a generally held view: for example, I. Sevcenko, "Constantinople Viewed
from the Eastern Provinces in the Middle Byzantine Period", in I. Sevcenko and
F. E. Sysyn (eds.), Eucharisterion: Essays Presented to Omeljan Pritsak (Harvard
Ukrainian Studies, iii/iv, pt. 2, Cambridge, Mass., 1979-80), p. 727: "the mind it
reveals was free of the constraints and pitfalls of the court and practically unencumbered
by the burden of the classical literary tradition", but two qualifications are necessary:
one that it is dangerous to underestimate Kekaumenos's rhetoricity, second that the
concept of the intellectual in Byzantium is overdue for refinement; see, however,
Sevcenko's definition in "Society and Intellectual Life in the Fourteenth Century", p.
69.
39 Niketas, Bios kai Politeia tou en agiois patros emon Philaretou tou Eleemonos, ed.
and French trans. M. H. Fourmy and M. Leroy, Byzantion, ix (1934), pp. 115-17,
but note the good friend, the official, who "out of respect for their long-standing
friendship" gave him four mules with forty modioi of wheat (p. 133).
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BYZANTIUM: A FRIENDLY SOCIETY? 11
Basil leaves the emperor's table "as if for some natural function
heads instead for the imperial bedchamber and usurpation;40 th
story of the affection lavished on the actor by Constantine IX an
disappointment it caused him41- clearly these "models of frien
are precious and rare but the friendship of models is not".
tells us the story of Eudokia and the apple. A poor man pre
Theodosius II with "a Phrygian apple of enormous size, so bi
defy description". The emperor paid the man, sent the apple
wife, who sent it to the magister Paulinos "since he was a frien
the emperor", and he, not knowing it had come from the em
in the first place, presented it to him. All hell broke loose: Eud
claimed she had eaten the apple, Theodosius suspected she
love with Paulinus - and had him executed. Ultimately a bad
friendship, but clearly a friendship: we are told that Theodosius had
promoted Paulinus through all the ranks, because he was his friend,
matchmaker for his marriage and table companion.42 We begin to
see what it means to be a friend in Byzantium.
But the classic warning is Kekaumenos's advice on entertaining a
friend (he must be easily the worst friend in history):
If you have a friend from elsewhere who comes to the town where you live, do not
put him up in your house, but let him stay somewhere else and send him what he
needs - it's better like that. If he stays in your house, let me tell you what
unpleasantnesses will occur. First, your wife, your daughter and your daughter-in-
law will not be able to leave their rooms to set the house to rights. If it so happens
that they have to come out, your friend will make himself loudly obvious and hang
on them with his eyes. If he gets the chance he will make a pass at your wife, look
at her with immodest eyes and misuse her if possible. In any case, on departure he
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12 PAST AND PRESENT NUMBER 118
will boast of such unholiness. And even if he doesn't say it himself your enemy will
throw it at your face in battle.43
We can flesh this out from other sources: good friends keep faith,
provide support, ignore slander, hate the people you hate; bad friends
gossip, eat you out of house and home, seduce your wife, flatter
you and behave hypocritically. Psellos's letter to the nephews of
Keroullarios gives them good advice on how to keep friendships alive,
and Eustathios wrote a whole sermon on what to do when your
friends fall out with each other.48 An examination of attitudes to
43 Kekaumenos, #101, ed. Wassilewsky and Jernstedt, pp. 42-3. Patricia Karlin-
Hayter first drew my attention to the punchline of this story.
44 J. Du Boulay, Portrait of a Greek Mountain Village (Oxford, 1974), pp. 205, 210-
13. Perhaps the best parallel is again with the Sarakatsanaioi, where gossip is feared
and hated: Campbell, Honour, Family and Patronage, pp. 312-15. Certainly among
other communities, for example the Tangu of New Guinea, the chief function of a
friend is to raise the prestige of his friend by gossip: Burridge, "Friendship in Tangu",
p. 180. On the etymology of the word (=godsib), see Mintz and Wolf, "Analysis of
Ritual Co-Parenthood", p. 341; Brain, Friends and Lovers, ch. 4, "Gossips and
Godchildren".
45 Kekaumenos, #145, p. 61.
46 Kekaumenos, #168, p. 64.
47 Manuel Karantenos-Sarantenos, poem 4, ed. U. Criscuolo, "Altri inediti di
Manuele Karanteno o Saranteno", Epeteris tes Etaireias Byzantinon Spoudon, xliv
(1979-80), p. 162. I have reversed the order of the lines in translation.
48 Michael Psellos, ep. S.208, ed. Sathas, pp. 513-23; Eustathios of Thessalonike,
Commentarii ad Homeri Iliadem pertinentes, Esc. Y-II-10, fo. 46: see Kazhdan and
Franklin, Studies on Byzantine Literature, pp. 175 ff.
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BYZANTIUM: A FRIENDLY SOCIETY? 13
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14 PAST AND PRESENT NUMBER 118
in society. New men are moving fast on to the rungs of the ladder;
those already established widen their network. Here is no matter of
Platonic metaphysics, but the very power structures of the eleventh
century. Friendship in Byzantium may be more important than
scholars have thought.
There is some evidence that some Byzantines would have agreed.
Certainly in the eleventh century, when there is a certain amount of
interest in the topic, it is seen as absolutely at the core of society.
Again and again in the hymns of Symeon the New Theologian friends
are bracketed with relatives as the essential elements of the outside
world: "You have rescued me from the dreadful and vain world,
from my relatives and friends and illicit pleasures, and have deigned
to place me here as on a mountain"; "and those who have renounced
the world and at the same time all their relatives, friends and com-
panions"; "from my father and brothers, relatives and friends, from
the land of my birth you have closed me off'; "Speak of death, give
air to numerous and necessary reflections useful to your friends just
as to your relations".58 Kekaumenos also takes friendship absolutely
for granted in many passages in the Strategikon - where he is not
warning his relatives against believing a toparch's word or mistrusting
his own ability to keep secrets in his cups, the context of several
warnings against friendship. The very first reference to a friend in
the work shows Kekaumenos in the act of intervening on his behalf-
but not too obviously, lest it be thought that he was doing it only for
gifts. That, he says, harms both yourself and the one you are mediat-
ing for.59 He has strong views on what one should or should not do
for a philos, but that one should do something is not in doubt. Quite
naturally friends creep into the discussion of extraneous matters:
"Your friends and your wife will try to persuade you: 'Take a good
post in local government and then you will be able to look after
yourself, your oikos [household] and your anthropoi [men]' ".60 Theo-
dore Prodromos, in his verse drama Friendship in Exile,61 saw the
world as regulated by friendship.
58 Symeon the New Theologian, Hymn 49.5-7, ed. J. Koder, iii (Sources
chretiennes, cxcvi, Paris, 1973), p. 146; Hymn 41.240-1, p. 30; Hymn 21.374-7, ii
(Paris, 1971), p. 158; Hymn 56.7-8, iii, p. 272. Cf. also Hymn 14.31, i (Sources
chretiennes, clvi, Paris, 1969), p. 268; Hymn 18.126-7, ii, p. 84; Hymn 20.98-9, ii,
p. 118; Hymn 22.119-20, ii, p. 180; Hymn 56.7-8, iii, p. 274; Kephalaia praktika,
iii. 13, ed. J. Darrouzes (Sources chretiennes, li, Paris, 1957), p. 83; Catecheses, xxx.60-
1, ed. B. Krivocheine, iii (Sources chretiennes, cxiii, Paris, 1965), p. 198.
59 Kekaumenos, #5, p. 3.
60 Kekaumenos, #96, p. 40.
61 Theodore Prodromos, Epi Apodemou tei philiai (P.G., cxxxiii, Paris, 1864), cols.
1321-32.
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18 PAST AND PRESENT NUMBER 118
Who has never preferred a friend over one more worthy? Who does not strive to
nominate as bishops his friends in order to receive all that will come to him? Who
has never consecrated a bishop because of a request from those of the world, rulers,
friends, the rich and the powerful?85
84 Michael Psellos, ep. K-D. 69, ed. F. Kurtz and K. Drexl, in Michaelis Pselli
scripta minora, ii (Milan, 1941), p. 154.
85 Symeon the New Theologian, Hymn 58.171-81, iii, pp. 290-2.
86 Michael Psellos, ep. K-D.132, p. 154.
87 Cf. the criteria in J. P. Sutcliffe and B. D. Crabbe, "Incidence and Degrees of
Friendship in Urban and Rural Areas", Social Forces, xlii (1963), p. 61.
88 Here Kekaumenos's second story about the strategos and the toparch is significant
(#74, pp. 27-8). This time each is determined to ensnare the other, each makes an
offer of friendship accompanied by the appropriate gift. To gain a further advantage
in maintaining the fiction of friendship, the strategos offers to sponsor the toparch's
son in baptism; seeing his opportunity the toparch invites him to his house for the
christening. The strategos of course is far too fly and they agree to meet on the borders
of Byzantine territory. Each turns up having laid his ambush. Here we see the
ceremonial of friendship exploited for temporary military advantage, but the ceremony
was necessary for the fiction to convince. And perhaps this is the reason, as much as
the concept of the Family of Kings, that the emperor baptizes foreign princes on their
conversion.
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BYZANTIUM: A FRIENDLY SOCIETY? 23
For Basil as for Symeon the New Theologian friendship was a pillar
of the world. For Cassian, for Anselm and for Ailred a higher,
spiritual kind of friendship was a real possibility. But the Byzantines
were aware of the dangers of monastic friendships.109 John Moschos
conveys the inconvenience and atmosphere which might be created
by a tiff between two gerontes in a community,10 and Symeon
indulges himself in a description of "loving brothers", a satire worthy
of Eustathios of Thessalonike or John Tzetzes:111 they invite each
other to their cells, eat a little, drink a little, miss an office, drink a
little more, gossip a little more until they are quite incapable of
penitence and have probably slandered half the monastery.112 Sy-
meon's own relationships with Symeon the Studite and with Niketas
Stethatos are not simply an exclusive form of friendship; they are
108 Basil, ep. 2, ed. and trans. R. J. Deferrari (Cambridge, Mass., and London,
1961), i, pp. 10-11; cf. Luke xiv.26, xviii.29. For a contrary interpretation which
derives Cassian's openness to monastic friendship from Evagrius and Basil, see Fiske,
Friends and Friendship, pp. 3/1-2; A. M. Fiske, "The Survival and Development of
the Ancient Concept of Friendship in the Early Middle Ages", Amer. Benedictine Rev.,
xif (1961), pp. 190-1.
109 The Rule of St. Benedict is silent on this danger, although D. Roby, Aelred of
Rievaulx: Spiritual Friendship (Cistercian Fathers, v, Kalamazoo, 1977), p. 40, argues
that there are indications of a later concern. On the dangers of "particular friendships",
see B. P. McGuire, "Monastic Friendship and Toleration in Twelfth-Century Cister-
cian Life", in W. J. Sheils (ed.), Monks, Hermits and the Ascetic Tradition (Studies in
Church History, xxii, London, 1985), pp. 147-60, esp. pp. 148-50, in which, as well
as homosexuality and cliques, he singles out the bonds of the world as causes of that
concern. Many closed societies are similarly wary of personal friendships: see V.
Aubert and 0. Arner, "On the Social Structure of the Ship", Acta Sociologica, iii
(1958), pp. 203 ff.; S. N. Eisenstadt and L. Roniger, Patrons, Clients and Friends:
Interpersonal Relations and the Structure of Trust in Society (Themes in the Social
Sciences, Cambridge, 1984), pp. 286-8.
110 Literally "old men", but in standard use for monks, like adelphos, brother: see
R. Maisano, "Sull'uso del termine adelphos nel Prato di Giovanni Mosco", Koinonia,
vi (1982), pp. 147-54. John Moschos, Pratum spirituale, #119 (P.G., lxxxvii.3, Paris,
1863), cols. 3109-12.
11 On anti-clerical satire in the twelfth century, see P. Magdalino, "The Byzantine
Saint in the Twelfth Century", in S. Hackel (ed.), The Byzantine Saint (Studies
Supplementary to Sobornost, v, London, 1981), pp. 51-66.
112 Symeon the New Theologian, Catechesis 4, Peri metanoias kai katanyxeos, ed.
B. Krivocheine, i (Sources chretiennes, xcvi, Paris, 1963), pp. 334-40.
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