Mirror Work: A Step-By-Step Guide 1. Commit Yourself

Mirror Work
A step-by-step guide
1. Commit yourself
Mirror work creates the deepest changes when it is done consistently over a long period
of time. I recommend dedicating a minimum of five minutes a day, with ten minutes or
more being ideal.
2. Think about the best time of day
Mirror work is flexible and can work around your schedule. Most people like doing
mirror work in the early morning and late at night before going to bed. You can also do
mirror work during the day as you pass mirrors. If there are no mirrors in your
workplace, you can always use the selfie option on your phone (where you turn the
camera towards yourself). You can find a private spot (such as in a bathroom cubicle) to
do this exercise while at work.
3. Choose or create your own affirmation
Why use affirmations, you might ponder? Affirmations counteract the negative self-talk
that runs through our heads – they also help to reprogram our minds. When we use
affirmations, we are affirming something that we like about ourselves or something
positive we wish to give ourselves.
You may like to create your own affirmation spontaneously based on how you feel when
you look in the mirror. For example, if you feel ugly in that moment of time, you can
affirm to yourself, “I have a beautiful heart and soul” or whatever feels most authentic
to you. If you feel uncomfortable in your own presence, you can affirm, “It’s okay to feel
uncomfortable, I accept myself as I am.”
Alternatively, you can choose from a list of affirmations and experiment with using one
affirmation each day (or one for a week). Here are some examples:
• I’m learning to love you

• I’m willing to take care of you
• I love how thoughtful/caring/sincere/____ you are
• I am worthy of love
• I am enough
• I am exactly who I need to be in this moment
• It’s okay for me to feel scared
• It’s okay for me to feel sad
• It’s okay for me to feel awkward
• I love how unique my body is
• I am beautiful
• I am whole
• I lovingly embrace my fears
• I am fierce and strong
• I trust in my natural wisdom
• I am open and receptive
• I believe in myself
There are thousands of affirmations out there – so this is just a little “sampler.”
A note on affirmations: If you are creating your own affirmations, please ensure that
you keep them phrased in a positive way. Many practitioners who work with
affirmations (such as those who study NLP) assert that the unconscious mind does not
understand negatives and will translate any negatively phrased affirmation in reverse.
For example, instead of saying “I am not worthless, I am worthy” say, “I am worthy.” Or
instead of saying, “I will not be mean to myself” say, “I treat myself with kindness.”
Also, the point of affirmations isn’t to sugarcoat how you feel. If you genuinely can’t say
to yourself in the mirror “I love you” then don’t! The point isn’t to be disingenuous, the
aim is to offer sincere love to yourself. If an affirmation such as “I love and accept you”
feels too difficult, focus on a milder affirmation such as “I am learning to love and accept
you” or “I want to love and accept you more.”
4. Repeat your affirmation (with feeling)
Whether out loud or in your head, repeat your affirmation to yourself at least ten times.
Louise Hay recommends at least 100 times – but that can seem overwhelming at first.
Certainly, the more you repeat your affirmation with sincerity, the deeper impact it will
make. So try to set a realistic number and stick to it. You can always increase the
number of times you say your affirmation while looking in the mirror as you progress
through your practice.
When saying your affirmation, it’s important to look at yourself directly in the eyes. You
may also like to use your own name as this sends a powerful message to your
unconscious. For example, you may wish to say, “I appreciate how caring you are [insert
your name here]”, “I love you [insert your name here].”
5. Embrace any emotions that arise
It’s normal and okay to feel upset. If you feel the need to cry, let yourself – you are
releasing old ways of being, and that is powerful work! You may also wish to give
yourself a hug, which is also wonderfully therapeutic. It’s likely that you will feel
emotional at some point and that is because the old frozen pain within you that has
built up through the years is bubbling to the surface. Sometimes the emotions we feel
during mirror work are from childhood, particularly if they are intense. If this is the
case, comfort your inner child by acknowledging it within you as you look at the mirror.
You may wish to say words such as, “It’s okay, I see you, I understand,” “I’m here for
you,” “I love how brave you are little [insert name],” etc.
A note about men doing mirror work: Feeling and expressing emotions will likely be
more difficult for men than for women. Why? Men are conditioned to perceive being
stoic as a true measure of manliness – but the truth is that “stoic” is just another word
for emotionally distanced and repressed. There is nothing courageous about avoiding
emotions. If you are a man, you will need extra reassurance and compassion through
this stage of the work. Have some deep affirmations on hand and the willingness to see
your emotional openness as true strength.
6. Record your discoveries
It is important during the course of your mirror work to keep a journal. You don’t need
to write long paragraphs about your experiences if that doesn’t suit you – simply write a
sentence or two. Record how you feel (even if that means expressing how silly you feel)
and what came up. You don’t need to keep a mirror work journal every day, but please
ensure that you write down whatever notable experiences you’ve had. Any new
emotions, thoughts, discoveries or breakthroughs should be recorded. By keeping a
journal, you will be able to track your evolution and progress.

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Mirror Work

2. Think about the best time of day

3. Choose or create your own affirmation

• I’m learning to love you

4. Repeat your affirmation (with feeling)

5. Embrace any emotions that arise

6. Record your discoveries

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