(1983).

International Journal of Psycho-Analysis, 64:187-201

The Female Superego: A Different Perspective
Doris Bernstein
Freud's theories concerning the development of the superego in women reflect his theories about female
development as a whole, i.e. all female development is seen as a variation of male development. While he
hinted that female development might be different in the pre-oedipal years (Freud, 1933), and suggested that
female analysts would need to elucidate female psychology, at no time did he envision feminine development as
a unique process that gives rise to a different character, different identity formation, and, necessarily, a different
superego. This is dramatically illustrated by his statement, 'The male sex seems to have taken the lead in all
these moral acquisitions; and they seem to have been transmitted to women by cross-inheritance' (Freud, 1923p.
37).
The presumption of identical development in boys and girls is not exclusively Freud's. A massive amount of
observational data has accumulated about differences between male and female children (well summarized by
Barglow & Schaefer, 1976). We know, from studies in various fields, that boy and girl babies are held
differently, and with different frequency, that they are talked to differently, given different toys, reacted to in
different ways; we know that their body experiences differ; we know motoric development differs; that gender
identity is firmly established by about twenty-four months of age (Stoller, 1968). All of this knowledge has not
been well integrated into our theory, although it enters our clinical work. Discussions of symbiosis, separation-
individuation, rapprochement, all proceed as if they are occurring in precisely the same psyche. I believe this is
the heritage of Freud's early formulation that the little girl is a 'little man' (Freud, 1933) until the phallic crisis,
and that development is identical for boys and girls until that time.
Freud's statement about the female superego is worth examining, 'Their superego is never so inexorable, so
impersonal, so independent of its emotional origins as we require it to be in men' (Freud, 1925p. 257). This
formulation has led to the generalization that the female superego is 'weaker', a hypothesis that decades of
clinical work has not confirmed. All analysts can testify to the strength and inflexibility of the feminine
superego, its relentlessness, in certain areas. For instance, all of us have worked with women whose sexuality,
despite currently changed external mores, remains frozen, unexpressed, frightening—under early prohibitions.
At the same time, Freud's statement clearly contains his own observations of differences in the male and female
superegos, although he did not elaborate what he meant by 'so impersonal and so independent of its origins'
(my italics).
The differences Freud noted are reflected in art and myths. Justice is portrayed as a woman. She stands
calmly, blindfolded; she holds scales in her hands. The symbols of the blindfold and scales are pertinent to my
thesis. As manifest content, the scales symbolize the measuring of evidence; the blindfold symbolizes
impartiality. Latently, the image implies an internal orientation, a sensing, weighing, and balancing quality. This
image is in marked contrast to those of Moses, who sits staring outward with the stone tablets of the Ten
Commandments in his hands.
It is indeed ironic that Justice, portrayed as a woman, sits over courts of Justice in much of the world, while
psychoanalytic theory portrays women with defective superegos. The very moods of these two images express
differences deeply felt throughout history in these concrete projections of male and female superegos. Indeed,
even during Freud's era, women were the keepers of morality, while men had two roles. On one hand, they set
the standards; on the other they were allowed far more violations than would have been
—————————————
This paper was presented at the annual IPTAR (Institute for Psychoanalytic Training and Research) Edmund
Weil Memorial Meeting on 24 April 1981. I would like to express my appreciation to Dr Roy Schafer, whose
thoughtful discussion of the paper at the meeting aided me in sharpening my thinking on several issues.
(MS. received January 1982)
Copyright © Doris Bernstein

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tolerated in women. What were 'wild oats' to a young man would have made a 'fallen woman' of a young girl.
I can define two issues that contribute to this inconsistency. First, Freud selected a quality that is more
characteristic of men and used it as the criteria for desirable superego development; that quality is firmer
structure, a quality that may or may not be more desirable than the more flexible structure that is more
characteristic of women. In the film, The Bridge on the River Kwai, the Major found himself on the brink of
treason, building a fine bridge for the enemy, following the rigidly fixed superego commandment, 'Do your job
the very best you can'. The firm structure and the inexorable nature of the superego did not lead to a moral
decision. I do think that Law is a masculine achievement (Mosaic) but Law cannot be equated with ethics or
morality.
While I cannot deal here with ethics and morality (ironic as that is in a discussion of the superego), it is clear
that Freud's criteria for desirable superego development is inadequate. The organizers that I propose for the
study of the superego are structure, strength, and contents. I believe these aspects (or axes) can provide a
framework in which issues of morality, ethics, law, as well as other superego aspects can be examined.1
A second source of the difficulty in Freud's formulation results from his insistence on the centrality of the
Oedipus complex and inherent conflicts as the motivating force for developing a superego. First, placing the
motivation for superego development in the midst of the phallic-oedipal phase gives undue importance to
castration anxiety. The harshness and exactingness of the male superego is attributed to the rages and fears
arising from castration anxiety generated by phallic-oedipal impulses. 'Castration' having already taken place
and propelled girls into the oedipal phase, they do not have the motivation for superego development that boys
do, nor do their superegos bear the same harshness (as I have noted, there is no evidence for this assertion).
A second complication that results from setting the stage for superego development at this late period is that
the superego is more likely to be influenced by developmental processes characteristic of that period.2 If the
core of the superego is, though, established much earlier, the core must remain tied to earlier processes and
introjections. It must bear the irrationality, the projections, of the earlier period—primitive qualities
characteristic of most superegos. The organization into the superego as a structure that occurs at the oedipal
period is subject to later influences. These influences include greater cognitive capacities, better reality testing,
advanced sexual identifications, 3 the ongoing experience of the body, the cultural contributions that effect the
selection and expression of desirable qualities for both sexes. All of these factors differ for boys and girls since
their life experiences have differed from birth onward. Greenacre (1952) has called the body 'its own
environment' (p. 149). This, together with the input from the outer world as conveyed to the child through the
physical and emotional communications from its parents, creates different worlds in which boys and girls live
long before the time of oedipal superego organization. It is not only the phallic phase that is different,
development has been different from the moment of birth.
Generally pre-oedipal manifestations of a superego have been called precursors. Webster defines a
precursor as a 'harbinger', a guide to what is to follow. In referring to pre-oedipal components as precursors,
their importance is diminished more than seems justifiable. It is my impression that the early irrational core of
the superego remains dominant in the superegos of both boys and girls, and largely determines the ego and
superego identifications that are made through the first years of life, through the separation-individuation phases,
and forms the basis for the critical phallic-oedipal identifications (Sandler, 1960).
Many have observed that little girls are more obedient than boys, more easily toilet trained and more
compliant. These qualities indicate quite
—————————————
1 In his discussion of this paper, Schafer suggested the word axes for these categories; there could, of course,
be many such axes along which different aspects of the superego could be examined and perhaps quantified.
For instance, function would be another axis. I think the term a particularly good one because it allows us to
conceptualize measurement of any number of different topics.
2 Chassel (1967) suggested that Freud observed developmental increments in ego and superego development
at the same time of oedipal resolution and attributed a causal connexion to issues that were only temporally
related.
3 Fast (1979) elaborated the significance of the differences between primitive and advanced sexual
identifications.

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early prohibitions that I would see as evidence of superego formation in that there are clear internalizations
prohibiting and shaping drive expression. The boy's core identifications (both ego and superego) undergo more
changes because the earliest object of identification, the mother, must be transformed into the father (Loewald,
1979). This necessary transformation places stresses on boys that give rise to anxieties and instability, in
addition to castration anxiety, all of which effect the structuralization that takes place at the oedipal period.
Exploring differences between the male and female superego is complicated by the fact that in discussions of
'the superego', very different concepts are joined indiscriminately. Words like 'harshness', 'strength', 'rigidity',
'weakness', 'prohibitions', 'ideals', occasionally, 'kindness', all refer to very different aspects of the superego
and there is much work to be done in organizing these disparate concepts (see Hartmann, 1960); (Sandler,
1960); (Schafer, 1960 for discussions of some of these issues). Each of these has a different history in pre-
oedipal development; some, I think, are universally different in the male and female.
Here I will try to define and trace the history of three aspects of the superego; the strength, the structure, and
the contents (Blum, 1976); (Applegarth, 1976); (Bernstein, 1979). There is confusion between the superego as
a structure, the contents of the structure, and the strength of that structure. It is necessary to explore these in order
to determine whether there are differences between male and female superegos, and if so, what these differences
are.
Contents refers to the specific admonitions and prohibitions—which drives are allowed expression, in
which ways drives may be expressed, which are prohibited. Some contents seem universal, such as the incest
taboo; others are culturally dependent. There have been many observations of the strict codes of idiosyncratic
ethics among criminal subgroups. While Mafia members can and must rob and murder, the group is known for
strong family ties, loyalty, protection of children. In various religions, we can see another example of
differences in content: one religion prohibits suicide; another idealizes, even demands it. The contents of the
superego contain both ideals and taboos. Members of each group clearly have superegos although one group
may appear immoral (lacking a superego) to members of other groups whose superegos have different contents.4
Strength refers to the efficiency with which the contents are regulated. Superego strength should not be
measured by the nature of its contents (which is commonly done) but by how powerfully the contents are
enforced. For example, the content, 'be pliant', or 'be obedient', can create a pliant person who appears to have a
'weak' superego (Blum, 1976); that is, one who appears to lack his or her own standards. In fact, it may take
much strength to enforce that directive. All of us have encountered individuals who describe themselves as
having been quite independent, assertive, even rebellious, as young children until 'something came over' them.
They complain of their adult passivity, obedience to and fear of authority, in contrast to their early, energetic,
impish childhoods.
Structure refers to the organization, or interrelationship of the contents; the contents can have different
strengths. For example, given two contents, 'I should prepare dinner for my children', and 'I should work for a
professional paper', male and female responses would be very different. Men, in Western culture would have no
conflict in this area; the commitment to work is fixed, dominant, and supersedes most other contents.5 For
women, the relative strengths of the two contents are not so fixed, but vary according to the situation. Women
are more likely to experience conflict in choosing which of the contents will be given dominance, and they are
far more likely to experience guilt (no matter what their choice). It is my opinion that the organization of
contents, that is, the structure, is far more fixed in men, more flexible in women, due to developmental factors
that I will later elaborate.
It is possible to have a superego with rigid structure, many contents, enforced with great strength that could
produce an 'immoral' decision. It is also possible that a variation in either the content, rigidity of the structure,
or the
—————————————
4 As we know, many superego activities have little to do with morality although they are experienced as
greatly important. Trivia assume heroic proportions of 'right' and 'wrong'.
5 Men may have conflicts that impinge on their working but that they should work is without question, i.e. a
fixed content.

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strength could completely change the decision from an 'immoral' one to a 'moral' one. For example, had the
Major in 'Kwai' a less rigid structure, he could have substituted the content of Patriotism and so acted in such a
way as to be considered moral.
Freud, in support of his hypothesis that women's superegos were less inexorable than men's, described
women whose mores and standards changed to conform with those of their lovers, hence a 'weaker' superego.
To reformulate this in terms of this discussion, one would say that the contents of these women's superegos
contained directives to be obedient and follow the standards set down by the men with whom they were allied. I
think that, in a reflexive way, the contents of the feminine superego effect the structure, commanding as it were,
that it should not be independent, i.e. not retain or assert its own hierarchy. Thus, traditional values, or contents,
for women effect structure in determining which identifications (ego and superego) can be made and which are
forbidden. This further affects the structure of the superego as it is revised throughout life, i.e. continually
influencing the relative strength of specific superego contents.
Women's assertiveness training groups, which have become so popular, do two things. First, they are giving
active encouragement to assertive behaviour which has been traditionally forbidden women except in special
circumstances. When aggression is expressed on behalf of the protection of their children or their homes, it is
approved. In every other circumstance 'aggressive' as an attribute of a woman is a pejorative. Clinically, we
note that tremendous anxiety emerges when aggressive fantasies are touched on, or aggressive behaviour
stimulated.
The second relevant aspect of these groups has not been given recognition but is of great importance to us as
analysts, not only for clinical relevance but for what it may reveal of women's superegos. The external groups
are taking on the function of early parental and social groups, and, inherent in their title, give permission to
women to be assertive. Much like Freud's description of the Church and the Army (1921), a superego function
(internal) is re-externalized and re-internalized with new content. This covert aspect may be the most important
function of these groups, as, in the process, the anxiety level that women have traditionally experienced over
expressing aggression is reduced.
The above gives a contemporary example of a desirable quality I am calling 'flexibility' within the female
superego. There is a distortion of Freud's observation that women's superego is 'never so inexorable' as men's
that has led to interpreting this to mean weak and defective. Weakness, however, refers to the power and
efficiency with which drives are controlled, and weakness would imply a failure of control. Such failure would
be expressed in breakthroughs of drive, failure to conform to the prohibitions or directives (contents). There is
no evidence that this is the case more with women than with men.
Quite the contrary seems to be true; rather than permit occasional defiance of superego strictures, women
seem to repress massively, often to somaticize, be 'nervous'. In analyses, when instinctual material is emerging, I
have found that women are loath to admit to the material, or to express it, even when it is clear in dreams, and in
associations. They seem unable to enjoy elaborate fantasies to anywhere near the degree that men do. Given the
emergence in analysis of sexual or aggressive impulses, I have rather consistently found men more ready to
elaborate grand fantasies of pleasure, sensuality, and conquest than are women with the same instinctual
material emerging.6 Men have repeatedly elaborated James Bond-like fantasies of sexual prowess; Walter
Mitty-type fantasies of heroism and success. When associations have pointed to longings for stardom and fame,
admiration and power in women, they are ashamed, timid, and anxious. This is reflected and powerfully
reinforced culturally—as movies, novels, and pornography are primarily oriented around male fantasy. There
seems to be far greater, not less, control exercised by women's superegos of the expression of the forbidden;
more, not less, effective restriction and inhibition.
Many authors (Kestenberg, 1968); (Greenacre, 1952); (Jacobson, 1964) have noted that little girls are
more easily socialized, cleaner and neater,
—————————————
6 I had asked two colleagues to read an early draft of this paper; one noted here, 'This is certainly true, but
only as regards sexuality'. The other noted, 'This is certainly true, but only as regards aggression'.

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more obedient earlier than boys. Greenacre found women to have a 'fund of guilt'. Following Freud in attributing
a central position to castration in the formation of the superego, Greenacre reversed Freud's conclusions. She
hypothesized that the girl, finding herself castrated, assumed her castration was a punishment inflicted on her
because of her masturbation. As a result, girls have a greater struggle against their sexuality (see also Jacobson,
1964) and an 'enormous enhancement of later guilt feelings in situations of conflict'. She found marked 'diffuse
or aimless conscientiousness' and differentiated it. 'Such conscientiousness … is to be distinguished from
firmer, more condensed conscience structure more characteristic of the male' (p. 159).
I am going to try to explore these observed differences between male and female superegos by examining
some aspects of gender. The first area will be gender assignment; the second, the experience of the physical
differences; the third, the impact of gender on identifications.
Gender assignment. The very first thing asked upon the birth of a newborn baby is not the size or weight or
health, but its gender, 'A boy, or a girl?' Long before birth, the newborn is the object of elaborate fantasies for
both parents. The first communication to the infant surely includes whether that child is a fulfilment or
disappointment of its parents' dreams. Along with the assignment of gender come a multitude of expectations and
messages that are expressed to the child in many ways—in how and how often it is talked to, cooed at, the toys
it is given, whether activity is encouraged or discouraged, whether flirtatiousness is found charming or
unattractive. Much of this treatment reflects the stereotyped expectations for boys' and girls' behaviour; often it
affirms the natural inclination of the child; often it is counter to the child's individual nature. It always conveys
messages as to what are expected and desirable responses; all of these messages weave their way into the
contents of the superego as well as the formation of the ego. So powerful is gender assignment that it can result
in irreversible genetically incorrect gender identity. Stoller (1968) has documented cases in which, because of
anatomic aberrations, incorrect gender assignment has been made and led to irreversible experiences of gender
identity due to the impact of the child-parent interaction.
Stoller's findings, along with Kestenberg's (1956a), Galenson & Roiphe (1976), more recently, Frankel &
Sherick's (1980) observations, give support based on developmental observations to Jones' (1927), (1947) and
Horney's (1924) assertions that feminine identity is primary and firmly established long before the phallic
phase, most likely between eighteen and twenty-four months, in the midst of separation-individuation struggles.
The specific messages communicated to children, while conveying socio-cultural expectations for boys and
girls, also include each individual mother's unique personal message. These latter will vary with each mother's
own history and the meaning of each child at the specific point in her life (for instance, a first son, or, a third
daughter).
Over and beyond all these collective and individual communications, there is one difference every mother
experiences with her boy and girl baby, that is, the child's gender in relation to her own. I propose that the
mother's experience of the girl as like herself, and the boy as different from herself, ties the girl to the mother in
a reciprocal relationship and orients the boy to differentiate, from birth onward. In the body of her infant
daughter, a mother can see her own past self; the body is known and familiar, one with which she can have total
identification. In contrast, a boy can only be experienced by a woman as different from herself; there cannot be
the deep biological understanding of the male body experience that a woman has with her daughter's. The
mother's experience of her daughter as like herself, and her experience of her son as different, is overtly and
subtly communicated to her children. The girl early experiences 'sameness' (see Schafer, 1968); the boy,
'difference'.
The earliest stage of mental life is characterized by diffusion, lack of differentiation between outer and inner,
between self and mother. The girls's sameness reflected back to her by mother's mirroring, reinforces the
blurring of self boundaries, and self and object boundaries. It begins a process that is repeated in different ways
throughout each stage and aspect of development, culminating in many differences in the egos and superegos of
boys and girls. One of the most common complaints of women in treatment is that their mothers 'never saw
them'. 'I don't think

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she ever saw me'; 'I didn't come into focus for her'; 'She always expected me to like what she likes, and is
surprised and upset if I differ'; 'She expected me to grow up to be exactly like her'; 'She dressed me in the
colours that she looked well in'. The list is endless; the influence, pervasive.
The body experience. Simultaneously with the internalization of the mother's mirroring, the child's body
experience is making its contribution to the development of self representations. While we are accustomed to
saying that the ego is at core a 'body ego', discussions of the ego then proceed without noting the influence of
genital experiences. Greenacre (1952), in calling the anatomy the 'primary environment', does not give sufficient
recognition to the powerful influence of gender assignment. On one hand, discussions of the developing psyche
omit body experience (Mahler, 1974); (Hartmann, 1960); on the other, the focus is totally on the body (Freud,
1931); (Jacobson, 1964); (Deutsch, 1944). These effects seem complementary and mutually reinforcing, and
deserve a great deal of study.
Many authors have noted the different genital experiences of boys and girls (Greenacre, 1952);
(Kestenberg, 1956a), (1968); (Erikson, 1964); (Jacobson, 1964). The differences are many. The penis can be
seen and felt; one can act on it and with it. The penis provides boys with a visible, concrete location for their
excitation, a specific physical presence for an intense experience. The boy's sexual experience with its
boundaried specificity leads to clearly focused, defined visible boundaries of his own body; this translates into
a clear mental image. In contrast, the girl's experience is internal, diffuse, generalized. The girl cannot see her
genitals; she cannot locate visually the source of her pleasure. Touching the external genitals (clitoris)
stimulates the internal (vaginal); the internal stimulates the anal.
There is an additional element that seems relevant but has been undervalued; that is, the use of the hands. In
addition to the genital sensations, boys can define, manipulate, stimulate the genitals with their hands (see
Clower, 1976, for masturbatory differences). The hands define the contours, the size, shape, specific areas of
heightened pleasure. There are three sensory sources for the developing body image: the visual, sensations in
the genital area, and the tactile sensations in the hands and fingers.
This defining body experience is different for the girl in the midst of the same psychic development. Her
eyes, her hands, her genitals, do not provide clearly defined boundaries. In attempting to form a mental image of
herself and her experiences, she repeats, from within her own body, the non-specific generalized,
undifferentiated psychic experience of earlier stages.7
The boy's sexual experience with its boundaried specificity opposes the undifferentiated symbiotic
experience. In addition, the penis is eminently suited to support the individuation process since, when there is
excitement, it serves as a natural anatomical vehicle for the drive outward (discharge).
In times of excitement, the girl's body experience leads her inward and back to a more diffuse,
undifferentiated state. Basic psychic differences between male and female are established from within their own
bodies. Female intuition, as a major mode of approaching a problem, has long been observed, in contrast to
male 'clear' cognition. (Women think from the inside out, men from the outside in?) Witkin's (1962) studies,
which found women 'field dependent' and global, and men 'field independent' and analytic, would seem to be
cognitive styles reflecting these earliest building blocks of cognition.
Anatomy, influencing the experience and imaging of the body, plays this important role in the individuation
process; this is expressed in our clinical material but usually attributed to penis envy. What women say is not 'I
want a penis'. Usually it's 'Men can go out in the world', 'Men can travel', 'Men leave home', 'Everyone expects
men to be independent'. Commonly, these are understood to be manifestations of penis envy. If we consider
these complaints as manifest content, then the latent content is surely, 'Men can separate, individuate', become
separate human beings, whereas women often are not able to achieve this degree of autonomy, nor is it expected
of them.
—————————————
7 All the homunculi pictured in psychology textbooks are of men. It would be informative to have such
physiologic mental maps of women.

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 Early, Abraham (1920) suggested that penis envy was related to 'oral' envy. More recently, Grossman &
Stewart (1976) have suggested that penis envy, instead of 'bedrock', is a metaphor for envy stemming from much
earlier experiences, most probably early oral (Kleinian) envy. Fast (1979) has proposed that penis envy is not
at core penis envy, but a wish to hold on to an undifferentiated state in which narcissistic grandeur could be
fulfilled. These formulations, while focusing more on envy or the longing for grandiosity than separation
problems, are in agreement with my impression that it is the early, undifferentiated state with mother that is at
issue, not the physical organ alone. In a civilization such as ours in which autonomy is a major criteria for
maturity and self esteem, these differences are magnified.
Here then is where I would place Freud's 'Anatomy is destiny' (1924p. 178). The mother's perception of the
girl's anatomy and the power of gender assignment, together with the girl's own early diffuse genital experience,
impede individuation. The blurred boundary between self and mother in early infancy is reflected and
reinforced by her anatomy, or, the impact of her anatomy on the mother's experience of her is reinforced as her
body experience becomes articulated.
Psychoanalysis has been attacked for the phallocentricity of its theory; it is, however, only a reflection of
values shared in almost every known culture. Many reasons have been offered to explain the veneration of the
male—his strength, size, his ability to overpower the threatening omnipotent mother (Chasseguet-Smirgel,
1979); (Schafer, 1978). The issue of psychic individuation, separation from the omnipotent, merging mother of
early infancy, seem to provide a universal sphere of reference. The function of the penis as an aid in
individuation may well be one additional source of this universal phallocentricity.
Penis envy. Female identity, feminine narcissism, motivation for and the nature of the superego, fear of
bodily harm—all have been attributed to penis envy and feelings of castration emerging during the phallic-
oedipal phase. We now know that gender identity and anatomy have confirmed 'femaleness' long before the
phallic phase; indeed Parens et al. (1976) have proposed an alternate term, the 'protogenital' phase. Freud's
formulation, 'that girls, having been castrated, and therefore have nothing to fear' is not borne out in reality.
Women are far more fearful of bodily harm, and men are the braver, the protectors. Women's fearfulness is
usually interpreted as an expression of their castration fear. This reflects the genital focus characteristic of men
—it is the boy's high evaluation of the penis that makes it so vulnerable (or perhaps its vulnerability as an
external organ heightens his concern and its value). Women's fears are more generalized and seem to have to do
with male size and musculature—that is, their fear of being overpowered—and, with the real understanding,
along with the distortions arising from fantasies, of sexual penetration, pregnancy, and childbirth.
Although the phallic phase is not the source of either gender identity or the superego, developments during
the phase make significant contributions to the structure of the superego. The intense sexual excitement of the
period reawakens and reinforces the psychic experiences of the separation-individuation phase (see Galenson
& Roiphe, 1976, who have proposed an early genital phase). The early experiences are heightened as the
sexual pleasure and meaning of the body sensations crystallize into mental images. As a little girl can now
understand the meaning of penetration, the boy understands that he is the 'penetrator'; her body softens as his
hardens, over and over reinforcing feminine diffusion and masculine concentration. The boy's ability to direct
and control his urine, to write his name in the snow, to exhibit his erect penis, to fantasize its sexual function, all
continue to build the experience of a self able to operate on the outer world, and his penis becomes for him the
vehicle of action.
The girl's sexual excitement, her urethral experience, her wish to exhibit and master are experienced
differently. A female patient recalled sniffing the odour of urine on a bus; the odour excited her; she continued,
'You know, I think I've always associated that smell with all the boys' activities, all the aggression, the play,
everything that was forbidden'. She continued in the next session to contrast memories of her mother, in which
things were always being done to her—back washings, hair brushings, tickling sessions.

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 Nagera (1975) views the girl as deprived of an executive organ. Deprived of a mechanism for discharge (the
penis), she must rely on psychic mechanisms such as identification or the creation of a fantasy phallus in order
to cope. One woman, strong in many ways, anguished over 'how would anyone known she was sexy or sexually
aroused without anything to show'. However, this is pathological, not normal.
Nagera's formulation treats the female genitals as if they are totally inert; indeed he uses the phrase 'passive-
feminine' to describe the goal of feminine development. Receptive is not the same as passive; there is too great a
leap taken from genital receptivity to character 'passivity' (Freud, 1933). In reality, the vagina lubricates,
sweeps, and holds the penis; or it is tight and dry, actively denying entry. The external and internal genitals give
great pleasure to little girls during masturbation, as does the penis to little boys.
Chasseguet-Smirgel (1979) has described this psychoanalytic posture, 'a good woman is a dead woman'. The
French school has focused on the role of anality in women as a defence against male domination and
penetration. To deny her omnipotent power, she is to be totally controlled like the faecal mass. In this view, the
woman, in spite and retaliation for being so badly treated, regresses to the grandiosity of anality and attacks the
penis (and people) with the controlling sphincter. (The phrase 'controlling' is almost exclusively used in
describing women.)
In my opinion, both of these positions give too much credence to fantasy and not enough weight to the body
experience. Given the powerful impulses of the phallic-oedipal period—the excitement, the urge to exhibit and
to master, to compete—the girl, like the boy, evolves psychic representation based on her body experience. For
her, the arousal is not only clitoral and vaginal, but naturally, anatomically, anal, as well. The exercise of the
sphincter is a natural component and need not be seen as a regression with the accompanying hostility attributed
to it. It is kept more alive as an internal organ of control, and anatomically retains its associations with
sexuality. During this phase of development the boy's interest is shifted 'up front', the girl's remains inside.
Anal interests are much more subject to suppression, punishment, and shame than are urinary; enuresis does
not evoke the reactions that bowel incontinence does. The confusion of anal and vaginal often leads to
experiencing the vagina as dirty. Toilet training demands for cleanliness, prohibitions of anal exploration,
inhibition of play with faeces, all cast a shadow over vaginal experiences. These prohibitions of anal origin are
so closely linked to the sexual, they may well be the source of greater female inhibition of sexuality, rather than
presumed guilt from presumed punishment for presumed castration.
I have worked with several women in whose families this confusion was expressed in not differentiating
parts of the body. The phrase 'down there' was used for the entire anal-urethralvaginal area. A woman speaking
an Indian dialect assures me there is no word in the language for feminine body parts; 'down there' covers it all;
in contrast there is a word for the penis.
Narcissism. Female narcissism as it is expressed in clothing and jewellry is unusually interpreted as a
displacement from the penis, i.e. girls treat their whole bodies as a penis to exhibit. Grunberger (1964) has gone
so far in attributing a defensive function to feminine narcissism as to suggest that no mother can ever really value
her daughter. A mother can only, unambivalently, love a son. He feels that this leaves the girl a craving for
narcissistic supplies which she then seeks perpetually to fill by seeking recognition and admiration. I do not
think that feminine narcissism has as its core a defence against penis envy or maternal deprivation (I do not
mean to deny the existence of either, of course, but to challenge either as being the source of a universal
phenomena).
It is my opinion that feminine narcissism has its roots in object relations, anatomy, and reality. Reality has not
been popular in psychoanalytic formulations. Nevertheless, one must take into account the fact that men have
opportunities for narcissistic gratification in the real world in the performance of their work or the accumulation
of wealth. Until recently, admiration of their bodies has been one of the few sources of narcissistic pleasure for
women.
To return to the sources of narcissism in women, we have been accustomed in psychoanalysis to consider the
boy as the narcissistic completion of his mother. Although he may be

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her treasure and her prize, with all the meanings that accompany that completion (her longed for penis, etc.), his
body cannot be something with which she can identify in the same way as with a girl's.
I would venture to hypothesize that part of the mother's relationship to her daughter is a reflection and
resurrection (Kestenberg, 1956b) of the mother's early narcissistic phase; i.e. narcissism on the undifferentiated
level, while the narcissism in relation to her son is a reflection of later stages of her own development—stages
more characterized by object orientation (faeces, penis, more differentiated object relations) (Benedek, 1959).
I noted this earlier in discussing daughter's complaints that their mothers never 'saw' them outside their own
sphere. This continues throughout life for women; they are defined in relation to another, usually as background
(Schafer's figure-ground metaphor, 1978). A woman is first mommy's baby, then daddy's darling, then a man's
wife, then someone's mommy. For women, the earliest narcissistic participation with the aggrandized mother of
infancy seems a likely source of their narcissism. In addition, while the re-aroused anality may cast shame on
sexuality, it also contributes the overestimation characteristic of the anal phase.
These differences during the phallic-oedipal phase effect mental representation and the investment in them
which in turn effects the synthesis into ego and superego structures. The visibility of the erection, the urination,
enables boys to evaluate their performance in an external sphere, subject to external, measurable, standards.
Size, quantity, distance, are definable and discrete. Girl's experiences remain in and on their own bodies,
unseeable, and unmeasurable. The clear definition of performance gives rise to defined measurable ego and
superego representations. The lack of these external defined, measurable experiences leaves the girl in the
position of searching for the definable within and on her own body and within early relationships.
Identifications. Oedipal identifications have long been considered most crucial to the adult personality. It is
their function in resolving the intense conflicts of this period that gives them their tenacity and their importance.
The identifications made at this time form the character, lay down the lines for sublimation, determine future
sexual objects.
Early relationships are critical in the formation of these ego and superego identifications; Annie Reich
(1954) has reminded us that later identifications are based on earlier ones and bear the mark of the earlier
relationships (also Ritvo & Solnit, 1960). Jacobson (1964) describes early character traits as becoming
'ossified' and culturally reinforced at the time of superego consolidation. Loewald (1979) in discussing the
organization into secondary identifications in superego development, notes that the oedipal stage is still
'enmeshed in and pervaded by identificatory processes …' (p. 767). Freud put it, 'the effects of the first
identifications made in earliest childhood will be general and lasting … This is apparently not in the first
instance the consequence or outcome of an object-cathexis … But the object-choices … seem normally to find
their outcome in an identification of this kind, and would thus reinforce the primary one' (1923p. 31).
This is yet another area in which, from the beginning of life, boys' and girls' experiences differ. Boys are
faced with the task of 'disidentifying', (Greenson, 1954) from the primary object. They are aided in this process
by the role of gender assignment that I discussed earlier; boys experience their mother's experience of them as
different from themselves. Fathers aid powerfully in this process by encouraging identifications with themselves
and with other men. Both parents actively discourage behaviour that is directly nurturant, maternal; both actively
encourage masculine activities.
Fathers offer their sons mastery of the outer world, an ally in their struggle for differentiation from their
mothers, and in the sexual sphere, triumphant power over the omnipotent-seeming mother of infancy. We are
familiar enough with boys' clubs, later men's clubs, where no woman can ever trespass; these serve as a
(continuous?) support to the separation process from mother (later women) and at the same time offer
identifications with men's activities removed from the nurturing primary atmosphere of the home.8
As girls are called upon to make oedipal and
—————————————
8 Frankel & Sherick (1979), in studying nursery school children, found that girls 'grouped' earlier and
excluded boys; when asked, however, the girls reported that they had been excluded by the boys (who had not
yet 'grouped').

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superego identification, it is with the same person from whom they are trying to maintain separation and
individuality. Not only are oedipal identifications difficult to make because of the conflicts arising out of fear of
abandonment, rivalry, and aggression—all common to both boys and girls—but the oedipal ones are blurred by
resurrected ancient identifications for girls. These critical identifications threaten the autonomy and
individuation achieved by girls whereas they serve to reinforce and consolidate individuation and autonomy for
boys. Once again, at this later stage of development, girls are confronted with integrating characteristics of the
earliest phases of life.
Freud's early focus on fathers as central figures in development has been eclipsed by almost total focus on
the role of mothers for many years. Recently, (Loewald, 1979); (Abelin, 1971); (Ross, 1979); (Layland, 1981)
fathers are re-emerging in importance. This renewed focus is consonant with the importance I have found
clinically in the treatment of both men and women. Most of the current literature, however, is concerned with the
father-son relationship.
Analytic literature says little about the relationships of fathers and daughters; primarily, the focus is on the
father as libidinal object, as protector and rescuer from the mother. Fathers do not seem able to offer themselves
as objects of identification to girls as they do to their sons—with few exceptions. To the extent that the father's
individuation rests on the biological base of difference from mother, to the extent that he mobilized, or continues
to mobilize the 'no, I am unlike' to maintain his autonomy, the more unable he is to permit or welcome his
daughter's identification with him as he is his son's. Repeatedly, women have complained that their fathers
encouraged intellectual development and education but only up to a certain point. After years of pleasurably
sharing intellectual life with their fathers (to the exclusion of their mothers) several women reported that their
fathers 'turned on them' accusing them of 'going too far' and urging them to give up the very aspirations they had
long encouraged, and become traditional wives and mothers.
Lax (1977) has documented three cases in which fathers encouraged intellectually in their daughters, though
they depreciated women. Each of these women was able to function magnificently intellectually but felt 'empty'
because they were cut off from the deep identification with their mothers in order to acquire this welcome from
their fathers. Menaker (1979), too, has noted this disidentification in women and has found that it functions well
until such women have children, at which time it becomes maladaptive, as this disidentification (Menaker calls
it counteridentification) prohibits the emergence of nurturing feelings and behaviour.
Many analyses founder on the misinterpretation of a woman's move toward her analyst as erotic wherein it is
often an expression of a need for identification. The following dream occurred in an analysis following a
tumultuous regression into the dyadic relationship.
'I appear at your office. I am dressed as a boy. I am feeling sort of sheepish, but seem to be asking you if it
is okay.'
After some musing about homosexuality, the associations drifted to fathers who wanted their sons to follow
in their footsteps, sons who wanted to be like their fathers, her own family's assumptions about her brother's
future career, and utter lack of mention of any career for her. Her need was acute for her father, a physician, to
recognize and encourage her professional aspirations, to permit an identification. At the same time, this
identification was critical for her efforts at individuation; as every time her wish to be like her mother came up,
she felt overwhelmed and feared being 'swallowed up'. (Other women have expressed this fear as fear of
'drowning', or being caught 'in the swamp' of their relationships to their mothers.) Only following the working
through of this need, and her beginning to pursue a professional career, could her feminine identifications with
her mother re-emerge safely and begin to consolidate. The identification with her father (circumscribed as it, of
course, must be) was a necessary acquisition that insured differentiation so that she could resurrect the early
identification with her mother without 'drowning' in the early symbiotic, diffuse identification with her.
This clinical impression is confirmed by a series of research studies by Silverman et al. (1982). In testing the
therapeutic effectiveness of symbiotic fantasy, they have demonstrated sex differences in responses to symbiotic
stimuli. Symbiotic fantasy provided a reliable anxiety reducing effect in normal (as well as fairly differentiated

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schizophrenic) men, but not in women. The subliminal stimulus Mommy and I are one provided a relief from
anxiety and an increase in adaptive behaviour for men. However, My lover and I are one (with a picture of a
male and female) provided positive results for women. Silverman concluded that the sense of self is more
susceptible to threat from symbiotic stimuli in women, and that it is enhanced by the fantasy of oneness with a
male.
Before concluding, I would like to give two case examples that I think illustrate the differences in superego
that I have been discussing. I think these examples contain elements of different structure, content, diffusivity-
focus, in a superego response to analytic work. Both of these patients had been in treatment for several years;
both exhibited strong attachments to their mothers who felt their children should not leave them, in Miss X's
case, because the mother, a widow, had no other relationships. Mr B's mother clung to him, an only child, when
her husband died when Mr B was 5 years old. After several years of analysis for each, in which aspects of
separation conflicts were worked on intensely, each was moving again toward oedipal material without the
swift regressions to separation conflicts that had characterized their defences during the early years of analytic
work; each was better equipped to cope with oedipal anxieties.
Miss X had made a major career advancement, recently redecorated her home, gone on a diet (to lose the
thirty pounds she gained shortly after entering analysis with me) and was resuming an affectionate, intimate
sexual relationship with an appropriate, committed professional man whom she had driven away in the second
year of her analysis, out of her transference anxiety that I wanted her to be involved exclusively with me
(rationalized that she was thinking too much about him and not spending enough energy on her four-times-a-week
analysis). In the midst of this burst of new (resumed) activities, she became acutely anxious, attempted the
previously used route of regression, but previous analytic work blocked this path. Hence, she proceeded in a
state of intense anxiety expressed in the following dream (one of several similar ones during this period).
'I am walking down the street, a person, I believe it is man, appears. We are excited to see each other and
begin, as in a dream, to move toward each other, when suddenly danger appears everywhere—it seems it
is behind me, between us, overhead. I feel surrounded by danger but I can't seem to know what it is,
although I am straining to see or know what's going to happen. I feel very alone and scared.'
Mr B had left his wife after a bad marriage of many years, had asked for a promotion in a job he'd held
without proper recognition for ten years, had stopped visiting his mother every Saturday night and calling in
between, was beginning to find that women found him attractive, and was enjoying strutting a bit like a peacock.
He was beginning to wear more modern clothing that enhanced his pleasant physique, had begun to do reading
and studying that enhanced his professional skills and had begun having some satisfactory sexual experiences for
the first time. Instead of presenting himself to me as a pathetic person who needed to be nurtured, he was
behaving flirtatiously and seductively. At this point, he had the following dream.
'I am in a lift. There is a big box taking up a lot of space, but I jump over it to get in. I nimbly do it, but the
lift door starts to close. It's going to close on my foot, so I spin around, and as I do, it begins to close on my
penis. I awaken terrified.'
CONCLUSIONS
Strength: As I said earlier, there is no evidence that girls and women have less effective control over drives
than do boys and men. While I am in agreement that women have less 'castration' anxiety. I do not agree that this
leaves them with defective superegos. The strength of the superego in women has other sources. First, it derives
from fear of, and resurrected identifications with, the omnipotent-seeming mother of the earliest identification—
the grandiose, narcissistic mother of infancy. The second source lies in the confusion and diffusion between
genital and anal; all the prohibitions of the anal impulses and conflicts cast a shadow upon what goes on 'down'
there and 'in' there. The anal inhibitions spread over the genital impulses.
The third source of strength does, I believe, derive from castration anxiety if we elaborate this into fear of
bodily harm. Fantasies of having been castrated (which I have found ubiquitous) give

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increased, not decreased, validity to the notion that harm can, indeed, come to one. The sexual understanding of
the phallic-oedipal period, that the female body is penetrated, arouses acute fear of bodily harm. While
castration is always a fantasy, sexual penetration, labour, and childbirth are not. The conviction that she has
already been damaged joins with fears arising from wisps of overhead conversation between women, movies of
childbirth agonies, the imagined pain of the huge penis; all these give a tenacity to superego power. Sexual
arousal itself gives rise to fears that give the superego its power aginst the sexual arousal. (These fears are quite
different from retaliatory fears arising from competition that are common to both sexes.)
Structure: The resurrected omnipotent mother that lends power to the superego also affects the structure.
When a new identification is being made, the earlier ones to which it is related are also resurrected. The new
level identification awakens the original relationship upon which it is based. The mother is perceived again
through infantile eyes; she is diffuse, unstructured, herself. The ego and superego identifications are with this
unclear object whose expectations are unclear. This leads to an internalization of dependence on a superego
identification bearing many of the qualities of the resurrected mother (primitive, but often unstable). This quality
lends what I would like to call a flexibility to the female superego.
These same early images are resurrected for the boy as well as for the girl. However, during the intervening
years of development, there has been a transformation from the mother of early infancy. Through the process of
'disidentifying' with her, through the clear articulated body images that have helped him in his path toward
individuation, through the identifications with the father, the omnipotent mother has been transformed into the
omnipotent 'father of reality', with whom we are familiar. The diffusiveness and internal orientation have been
transformed into external orientation, defined performance (through measurable, defined experiences). The
structure of the superego follows these experiences; the images both of the self and of the father with whom
superego identifications are made, are clearly articulated; the elements, the prohibitions and permissions are
more clearly defined.
Contents: The last aspect of superego I will discuss is contents. Many would say that all the issues I have
been discussing are the result of superego contents (Applegarth, 1976); (Blum, 1976). The content 'be
dependent' could explain why women look to others for their values and approval. The contents 'be my baby, my
baby doll', could account for difficulties women report in achieving autonomy. Contents, 'do not think,
intellectuality belongs to men' could account for women's complaints of inhibitions in this area. Contents 'stay at
home and take care of your babies' could account for women's difficulty in pursuing careers. The list is endless.
(Zilbach et al. (1979) has documented this well.) This formulation leads to attacks on culture for inhibiting
women.
I do not think all can be attributed to content alone; I do not think anything antithetical can long be imposed
from without. Without inner sources for these issues, I do not believe they would exist. Women cannot achieve
the 'distance from their origins' in the same way that men can, and continue to develop as nurturing mothers.
They must remain close to their origins; yet, to achieve autonomy, the most valued attribute in our society
(Broverman et al., 1970) they must now 'disidentify' in the same way that men do.
Thinking of the superego in the broader ways I have suggested, broadens the range of our therapeutic task.
The feminine superego is different in the ways that I have described. The reawakened diffusivity lends
flexibility to the structure; the strength has sources earlier, and is related somewhat differently to castration
anxiety. The contents carry all the expectations for femininity from the powerful moment of gender assignment.
All are created out of developmental experiences within the self and between the self and the outer world. The
resurrected mother enters the strength, the structure, and the contents of the female superego, reinforcing, in each
aspect, its difference from the male superego.
SUMMARY
If control of drives, various manifestations of morality, characterological conscientiousness are considered
indicators of superego development, there is no evidence for the psychoanalytic position that women have
defective superegos. Analysts

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 have struggled for decades in attempting to ameliorate powerful primitive superegos in their women patients.
This psychoanalytic position derives from the fact that Freud observed a quality characteristic of men's
superegos and used it as a criteria for superego development. The characteristic that he chose was firmness of
structure; while this indeed may be different in women than men, it is not an adequate criteria by which to
evaluate superego development, but only a single aspect of that development. In this paper I examine superego
development in boys and girls by using three axes; strength, structure, and contents (there could be others).
An additional source of Freud's difficulty in examining women's superegos lies in his chronology for its
emergence. In tying superego development to the phallic-oedipal phase, and particularly to castration anxiety, he
hypothesized that girls, already 'castrated', had no motivation for superego formation. Many analytic observers
have noted the early morality and conscientiousness of litle girls; most have, like Freud, attributed this to their
feelings of having been castrated, perhaps as punishment for masturbation. While there may be a finalizing
reorganization of the superego at the end of the oedipal phase, it is my impression that the core of the superego
with its primitive, irrational qualities is formed much earlier and is revised throughout each stage of
development.
In this paper, I attempt to trace the structure, strength and contents of the superego to the earliest interaction
between the child and the parents and between the child's mental development and its experience of its own
body.
Both of these experiences, the relationships to the outer and inner world, differ in boys and girls from the
moment of birth and form the mental world, both ego and superego.
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Article Citation [Who Cited This?]
Bernstein, D. (1983). The Female Superego: A Different Perspective. Int. J. Psycho-Anal., 64:187-201

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