Indo-Pacific Journal of Phenomenology, Volume 2, Edition 2, September 2002 Page 1 of 15

Heal My Heart: Stories of Hurt and Healing from Group Therapy

by Dr Zelda Knight

This paper records four stories that emerged from four group therapy members. These stories are stories of
fundamentally broken hearts. I utilise this material to address two psychological phenomena in group
therapy - self-disclosure and the corrective emotional experience. The overarching theoretical framework is
the existential approach to group therapy, and the underlying theoretical assumptions of relational
psychoanalysis applied to group therapy. In the context of the material I present several theoretical points.
Some of the chief points are the notion of the “in-between-ness of healing” and the importance of two
processes in healing - i) the process of telling the story (remembering) in such as way that it is relived both
emotionally and physically, and ii) followed closely by a corrective emotional experience. The emphasis in
this paper is that remembering and reliving in therapy is not enough and a corrective emotional experience is
required. Broadening this perspective of the healing mechanism of a corrective emotional experience, a
principle argument of this paper is that the therapeutic action in group therapy (as it can be in individual
therapy) is not insight but a new relationship

Introduction works, and is not a separate school of psychology

This paper is based on the clinical material that or a neatly defined model with specific
emerged from various residential group therapy therapeutic tools or techniques. Existential
groups that over the years I have facilitated at a therapy is grounded in the assumption that we are
Wild Game Reserve in Eastern Cape province of free and therefore responsible for our choices and
South Africa. The introduction is divided into actions (Bugental, 1978; Frankl, 1963). “We are
three sections; a) the theoretical framework, b) the architects of our lives, and we draw up the
the groups, and c) what this paper is about blueprints for its design” (Corey, 2000, p.249).
This approach means that we are not the victims
A) The theoretical framework of circumstances in our life, and to a large extent,
The overarching theoretical framework of the we are what we choose to be (Frankl, 1963).
experiential group therapy process is based on
Frankl, an existential psychiatrist, stresses the
the underlying assumptions of the existential notion of ‘the will to meaning’ and that we have
approach to group therapy and relational the freedom to find meaning. In this regard,
psychoanalysis. These two perspectives include
choice and the freedom to choose are major
the promotion of, and commitment to, creating an themes within existential therapy. Frankl
awareness of self and self in relation to other. believes that human freedom is not freedom from
conditions, but, rather, the ability to take a stand
Existential therapy can be considered as an in the face of conditions. Existential therapy is
approach or philosophy, by which a therapist
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Indo-Pacific Journal of Phenomenology, Volume 2, Edition 2, September 2002 Page 2 of 15
ultimately a process of exploring the value and 1995) of the world in which participants live. Its
meaning we find in living, and to discover members meet for the purpose of “discovering
alternatives and to choose among them (van themselves as they are by sharing their existential
Deurzen-Smith, 1988). In other words, the concerns” (Corey, 2000, p. 249). Several broad
existential approach (to groups) involves goals of existential group therapy have been
exploring options that create a meaningful life. documented (Corey, 2000; Yalom, 1980). I have
In the context of the group process, “a group can identified three of the most common goals; a)
enable us to recognise that we do not have to enabling members to become truthful with
remain passive victims of our circumstances, and themselves, b) widening their perspective on
that we can become the authors of our lives” themselves and the world, c) clarifying what
(Corey, 2000, p. 247). In a similar vein, Rollo gives meaning to their lives. The group begins to
May (1961, p.41) articulates, “no matter how provide encouragement for members to begin to
great the forces victimising the human being, listen to themselves and pay attention to their
man has the capacity to know that he is being own interpretations of the world. The existential
victimised and thus to influence in some way approach to groups consists of helping people
how he will relate to his fate”. face their own attitudes, and take responsibility
for their phenomenological ‘situatedness’ in the
The purpose of an existential group is that world.
members represent a “microcosm” (Yalom,
In summary, the existential approach is within this perspective, relationships are the very
phenomenological in that it emphasises how each substance of life, they define who we are.
of us sees the world, interprets the world, and However, it is not just that interpersonal
how we choose to create our experience or reality relationships are necessary for the formation of
of the world. In these experiential groups that I the psychological structure of the ego/self, but
facilitate, using an existential approach, the that the very nature of all individuals is
individuals are invited to participate in the inherently relational (Gill, 1983). Put into a
interpersonal re-learning of the group member wider theoretical context: if one views Freud’s
who is working through his or her conflicts drive-ego model as relatively neglectful of
within the group. They are encouraged to interpersonal relations and the object relations
express emotions, thoughts, views and model (such theorists as Melanie Klein and
behaviours, the goal of which is to enable the Donald Winnicott) as emphasizing them, the
members to see how others perceive and interpersonal model is the next step: a theory
experience them and their behaviours through based on interpersonal relations (Summers,
feedback and discussion. 1994).

Relational psychoanalysis is not normally an The pioneering work of Harry Stack Sullivan
approach used in group therapy. However, I (1953) has been credited with developing the
have found that this theoretical framework is interpersonal or relational approach to
helpful and can be successfully applied to the psychoanalysis, but it is the contemporary
therapeutic process of making meaning of ‘things theorists such as Merton Gill (1981, 1983), Jay
that happen’ in the group context. Greenberg and Stephen Mitchell (1983), both
who parted conceptual company later on
Briefly, relational psychoanalysis, sometimes (Greenberg, 1991, Mitchell, 1988), Irwin
referred to as the ‘interpersonal approach’, has Hoffman (1991), Edgar Levenson (1981), and
the assumption that individuals are defined by Edward Teyber (1997), who have developed
their relationships with other people. From variations of the relational psychoanalysis model.

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Indo-Pacific Journal of Phenomenology, Volume 2, Edition 2, September 2002 Page 3 of 15
The position of relational psychoanalysis, as the archaic childhood objects, that determines the
outlined by Mitchell (1988), is that the young extent of maladjustment of the personality.
child learns the range of possibilities and limits Flexibility of the self-organisation, the freedom
of relating to others first from the parents. Such to experience different relationships in different
relating is anchored in the child learning what ways, is Mitchell’s concept of mental health”
she/he needs to do interpersonally in order to (Summers, 1994, p.321).
reduce anxiety that comes from the imagined
and/or real threat of loss of contact with them, The relational psychoanalysis viewpoint of
and therefore, through this compliance, become treatment or therapeutic intervention would
acceptable and lovable to them. From within this therefore include helping the individual to begin
perspective, these modes of engagement with the to experience a wider sense of self, as indicated
world become the child’s template for all at the start of this paper, and this is done by
subsequent relationships. Out of these patterns of experiencing a new relationship, and thereby
relating or templates, the child begins to altering the individual’s relational world, rather
construct a self. “Each person is a specifically than the use of interpretation as in the classical
self-designed creation, styled to fit within a psychoanalysis sense (making the unconscious
particular interpersonal context” (Mitchell, 1988, conscious).
p.277). Problems in living are viewed from
within this perspective as rooted in the Thus the therapeutic process involves the
understanding that these (now limiting) relational broadening of the relational possibilities of the
patterns or relational configurations, formed in individual, broadening the structure of the
childhood, are not easy to discard as they were a individual’s relational world beyond the
means of safely reducing the anxiety of loss of restrictions of childhood limitations (Summers,
contact (and thus loss of self identity) but that 1994).
they continue to play a role in the now adult’s
life. “It is the degree of rigidity of the relational B) The Groups
configuration, that is, the extent of attachment to
The two-and-a-half or three day experiential is assessed for their psychological stability and
therapy groups comprise between six to ten suitability for the group process. Follow-up
members of both gender, and sometimes mixed group therapy sessions are provided for a limited
race, aged between 21 - 30 years of age. period of time, and group members are expected
Participants are briefed several weeks prior to the to attend these. Issues of confidentiality and
group as to what they may be expected to do. ethics are addressed in the group itself, and the
Some of the activities may include artwork, clinical material documented in this paper is used
dance/movement, breath-work, meditation, with permission, and the appropriate steps have
walking, being silent (“noble silence”) between been taken to ensure confidentiality. Participants
sessions, as well as self-disclosure in the group. are encouraged to take full responsibility for their
They are warned weeks before about the own personal enrichment and development and
intensive psychotherapeutic nature of the work. full participation from everyone is strongly
This warning gives them time to think about their encouraged, and a willingness to share personal
commitment to the group, and whether it is information is also fostered. Participants are
something that they really want to do now. invited to write a private journal during and after
Moreover, they are cautioned that additional the group therapy, and are provided with
individual therapy may be required in order to guidelines as to ‘how to write’ a journal as some
continue to deal with issues that emerged during had not done so before. It seems that
he intensive group therapy process. Each person ‘journalling’ helps participants identify their

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The IPJP is a joint project of Rhodes University in South Africa and Edith Cowan University in Australia. This
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Indo-Pacific Journal of Phenomenology, Volume 2, Edition 2, September 2002 Page 4 of 15
moment to moment feelings and thoughts. They emotional experience’. Furthermore, in the light
are however, as part of the contract, required to of the case material, I present several theoretical
write-up a report about their experiences of the points. Some of the main points are the notion of
group therapy. This is done as I believe that it the “in-between-ness of healing” and that it is
completes the process of closure. There are fundamentally the psychological presence of two
guidelines given for this too. interconnected processes of healing that facilitate
the participants therapeutic progress and change.
The points I make in this paper are based on These two processes are i) the process of telling
more than a decade of experience and the story (remembering) in such as way that it is
observations as either a co-facilitator or therapist relived both emotionally and physically, ii)
of experiential group therapy. During this time, I followed closely by a corrective emotional
have come to honour and respect the mysterious experience. The emphasis here is that
workings of the human psyche. remembering and reliving in therapy is not
enough and a corrective emotional experience is
C) What this paper is about required at a specific time - soon after the relived
This paper briefly documents four stories that experience. Extending this perspective of the
emerged from four group members, not all from healing mechanism of a corrective emotional
the same therapy group. The group members are experience, a principle argument of this paper is
“Ellen”, “Thomas”, “Julia” and “William”. that the therapeutic action is not insight but a new
These stories are stories of essentially broken relationship.
hearts. I utilise the clinical material to address
two common psychological phenomena in group Stories of hurt
therapy - ‘self-disclosure’ and ‘the corrective
“Ellen” is a 23 year old woman who, while a feeling the rage and pain mix into a constellation
member of the group, remembered a scene when of loss, abandonment, and isolation.
she was 11 years old: It was Christmas day and
she desperately wanted her father to stay with the During that morning her father’s plane crashed
family in the house but he had wanted to spend and he was killed instantly. When Ellen heard
the day flying his newly acquired small twin- the news, the echoes of her last words to him
engine plane. Ellen remembered hopelessly lashed and hammered into her, and she felt an
begging him not to go but to stay and be with her. enormous monster of guilt and remorse engulf
She felt that she hardly ever saw him during the her. Crying, and filled with bitter grief and
other days, and she had hoped that during this regret, she realised that she would never see him
particular day he would remain at home, sharing again. She believed that somehow she had
himself with her and the family. This hope ‘caused’ the death of her father and longed to
turned to disappointment when she saw him take back those hateful words of “I hope you
continue to prepare to leave the house. Feeling die”. She had carried that pain of abandonment
deeply let down, sad and rejected, she called out and the consuming guilt within her for more than
to him as he left the house, ‘I hope you die!” But a decade. She had believed that she was
he only turned and waved to her, saying that he basically unworthy of self-forgiveness.
loved her very much but that he wanted to fly
only for a few hours and would be back soon. “Thomas” had fallen in love with a girl when he
His words fell on deaf ears. Ellen had become was 16 years old. He had felt as if his heart had
outraged as the pain of rejection deepened and opened and a wholeness within had emerged.
she repeated, “go then! I hope you die”. He left After several weeks of visiting her and spending
the house and she remained on the door step, time with her he approached her and shared his

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Indo-Pacific Journal of Phenomenology, Volume 2, Edition 2, September 2002 Page 5 of 15
feelings of love for her. He felt relief and yet beloved with this other man, and it became a
anxiety as he told her that he wanted to date her, painful reminder of his loss, and it deepened his
and he felt excitement as he asked her how she sense of failure and impotence.
felt about him. But she was not in love with him.
She told him that she had an interest in another Now as a 25 year old member of the group
young man, and that she would wish to pursue a therapy process, he had found himself
relationship with him. Thomas remembered that remembering again that lost love. He felt a
dreadful day. It was as if the sun itself had sadness and a deadness within. The wounded
melted and turned black and fallen into some unrequited love had left him feeling empty and
hidden and dark abyss. Thomas felt his heart alone. This hollowness within became an on-
break into pieces, falling about and shattering his going way of being in the world, creating within
sense of self. On a metaphorical level, a door him the belief that he would always be alone,
had closed deep within him. Thomas remembers always be unable to have a love/intimate
that day feeling hurt, rejected, numb and a sense relationship. But above all, that he would always
of slowly dying. It was not only rejection that he end up with a broken heart, rejected and
had experienced, but a breaking down of his displaced. In his pain he had shut himself down,
blossoming capacity for love and intimacy. He becoming cynical and angry, pushing people
felt destroyed, his self-image as a lovable person away, moving against possible partners in hasty
had disintegrated. For months he saw his fear of intimacy and loss.

“Julia” remembered being 11 years old during explain myself, I did not apologise, I did not even
the group therapy process. She shared the care, I pretended as if nothing had ever happened.
following experience: To this day, I wish I had done things differently”.

“ When I was 11 years old, I had decided that I The sense of guilt and feeling that she should
wanted to be a part of the popular group. So, I have done something to restore things, to heal
made a deal with one girl that she would be my broken friendships has weighed heavily with
best friend. I dropped my old best friend, and Julia for a long time. She speaks now of not
became a part of the popular group. I made being able to connect authentically with her
things even worse by telling my mother that my friends and establish and maintain close and
old best friend and I had had an argument and trusting relationships. She feels that some of her
that it was all her fault and not mine. In my friends she had managed to make, she “pushed
family, lying is possibly one of the worst things away”.
that we could ever do, and today I carry with me
the guilt of lying to my mother about a situation Not only has she pushed away potential friends
that I had actually induced (just so that she would but she finds herself repeating her earlier pattern
not think badly of me). Even when I was given of making friends with people because she feels
the chance to sort out things with my old best these people are the “in group”, the “popular
friend, my pride held me back, and I never did group”. She remarked,
anything to put the situation right. I did not
“I lived with a group of girls last year, and there two girls, and so I pretend to be friends with
were strained relations between me and two of them in order to keep everyone else happy - just
the girls. I am, I understand, allowed to be so that I do not have to explain why I am such a
friends with people if we do not get along. I horrible person because I do not get on with
know that people are different and that not every them. I am too much of a coward to say what I
body is going to like everybody else. My feel ... I hate what I did to my friend when I was
problem is that I see everybody else likes these 11, but it seems that I cannot stop or change my
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Indo-Pacific Journal of Phenomenology, Volume 2, Edition 2, September 2002 Page 6 of 15
behaviour. It feels like I am destined never to against the closed door, he felt a sense of being
have close friends again because of what I did. It shut out and so alone. He called to his parents
also seems that people notice this horrible quality repeatedly but the door remained shut, blocking
and before we get too close, something in the out any nurturing comfort from his parents
relationship causes them to move away from me. within. He felt a rising panic, and a certainty that
It makes me feel guilty and inadequate, and something dark and evil was advancing along the
because I feel like this, it affects all my corridor towards him. He repeatedly cried out.
relationships with friends. I notice that even with No one reached out and took care of him.
the boyfriends that I have had, I would rather that
they break up with me than me break up with William does not remember how long he stood
them, because I know that I can deal with being there as a small boy calling out, fearful and alone
hurt, but I am not able to change the situation if I in the dark. He does not know where his parents
hurt somebody else. I think that this relates to were and why they did not reach out to him. All
how I would rather deal with being betrayed, he remembers is that in his fear there was no one
then having to betray someone else again”. to comfort him, no father to hug him and make
the world safe again. No mother to warmly
“William” remembers growing up. In the group envelop his trembling body. He was alone,
he recalls one painful experience when he was a totally alone, and no one heard his calling. Now
very young boy. He had fallen asleep only to be at 26 William has this constant anxiety about
awakened by a nightmare. Fearful and confused being left alone, and metaphorically ‘outside’ of
he had sought out his parents. Stumbling down things - not belonging. He worries that he may
the darkened corridor of the large family house, not find someone to listen to him, to really care
he stood outside the closed door of his parents about him, to stop the trembling within. He fears
bedroom. There he had tried to open the door, abandonment and yet also believes that he does
calling out to them in his panic and terror, feeling not deserve to have loving protection from the
as if the demons of his dream still stalked him. demons of his world.
He felt so frightened and so small. As he
frantically called out to them, face pressed The group as an “alchemical vessel”
The group process itself becomes therapeutic individual working through their issues or
when it facilitates a process of what Alexander conflicts within the group may relive experiences
and French (1946) first termed ‘a corrective that they were unable to resolve by themselves,
emotional experience’. Many authors, for and the other group members contribute to the
example, Corey (2000), Corey and Corey experience by assisting individuals to undergo or
(1992), Davanloo (1980), Friedman, (1994), relive an experience which previously had
Malan, (1963, 1979), Mander, (2000), Sifneos traumatic results or consequences, but now will
(1987), Posthuma (1996), Teyber, (1997), and be experienced differently in terms of providing
Yalom (1995), have subsequently written about them with a different response to which they
the psychological significance and value of ‘the imagined would result. Thus they experience
corrective emotional experience’ in within the group new and positive emotional
psychotherapy. “A corrective emotional responses to the experience of the original event.
experience occurs when the therapist responds in
a new and safer way that resolves, rather than In the light of this, the group can be
metaphorically re-enacts, clients original metaphorically viewed as an “alchemical vessel”
conflicts (Teyber, 1997, p. 143). The notion of as it provides the basis for experiential re-
corrective emotional experience is equally learning in that the alchemical vessel provides
applied to the group therapy context. The members with a feeling of containment and

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Indo-Pacific Journal of Phenomenology, Volume 2, Edition 2, September 2002 Page 7 of 15
support, and from within this, the possibility of that individuals engaging in therapy feel
transformation and healing. This alchemical ‘unconditional acceptance - empathy,
vessel, that is the group, generates an genuineness and warmth’ (Rogers, 1951) and
interpersonal containment similar to a “psychic experience a non-judgmental environment from
womb”. This containment can be likened to a both the therapist and the group members
‘potential space’ (Winnicott, 1971) which is as a (deSchill, 1974; Friedman, 1994). This
safe psychological space, sheltered and shielded psychological atmosphere is not easy to create in
wherein a person can feel open to psychological a group for members often feel afraid of
possibilities. expressing because they are often anxious about
the consequences of self-disclosure.
I have re-interpreted this idea of potential space Compatibility and cohesiveness are vital
in terms of the interpersonal processes inherent in conditions for the therapeutic group encounter.
group therapy. Furthermore, this psychological A cohesive group promotes self-disclosure, and
healing (of the metaphoric heart) happens in the this cohesiveness can create and sustain trust
‘therapeutic space’ in which psychic things from group members, and, in turn, members will
between people become better known and are feel safe enough to express their conflicts within
healed. In other words, healing happens between the group (Corey & Corey, 1992; Oster &
people (within the therapeutic space) rather than Gould, 1987; Yalom, 1995).
within the person in the group.
As indicated, even when all the optimal
Within the therapeutic space of the group: Self- conditions or ‘therapeutic factors’ (Yalom, 1995)
disclosure and the “in-between-ness of healing” are present within the therapeutic space of the
group, healing (of the heart) is difficult because
Before a client or group therapy member can feel self-disclosure still may be experienced as
safe enough in a group to self-disclose, and the difficult. Undoubtedly, self-disclosure is a vital
group as an alchemical vessel, to present a part of group therapy, regardless of the
corrective emotional experience, it is necessary theoretical modality adopted.

In any modality or context of group therapy, the constitutes the integrative process through which
overall aim is the same, namely, to overcome the patient gains a sense of her own reality,
inner conflicts that the individual members are wholeness and sense of genuineness as a person”
experiencing (Slavson, 1979). Many people (Stricker & Fisher, 1990, p. 76).
believe that they are unique in their personal
problems, therefore listening to other group Within the therapeutic space of the group, self-
members disclose highlights the fact that “there disclosure has a potential to move the individual
is no human deed or thought that is fully outside into a deepening and greater self-awareness as it
the experience of other people” (Yalom, 1995, p. presents the potential for dealing with inner
6). Self-disclosure is a process by which the self conflicts some of which are perhaps hidden and
is revealed and it is often referred to as the unconscious. However, self-disclosure is a
‘talking cure’ (Stricker & Fisher, 1990). complex act, and is frequently initially presented
However, if self-disclosure is not consistent with with some uneasiness concerning the imagined
the experiential sense of self then individual possible outcome and reactions of others,
members of the group will not procure the particularly if the information disclosed is of an
benefits of disclosure, and will in turn, become intimate nature. Disclosure becomes anxiety-
alienated from the group process, the group provoking as there is the potential for, and fear
members and themselves. “Finding the words to of, betrayal, rejection, and psychic impingement
represent, evoke, and express the experiential self or damage. Within an existential framework,
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Indo-Pacific Journal of Phenomenology, Volume 2, Edition 2, September 2002 Page 8 of 15
anxiety about disclosing results in having to Within the therapeutic space of the
group it is often a frightening risk to let
make choices without clear guidelines and go of the old confining parts of
without knowing what the outcome will be and ourselves and open up to the
from being aware that we are ultimately potentiality of transformation. “At some
level we know that for new dimensions
responsible for the consequences of our actions. of ourselves to emerge old parts of
Kierkegaard (1813 - 1855) writes of existential ourselves must die. The knowledge
that as we grow we must exchange
anxiety or this fear as ‘the dizziness of freedom’.
familiar and secure ways for new and
unknown ones is in itself a source of
anxiety” (Corey, 2000, p. 255).

In the context of therapeutic change in group which needs to occur soon after the relived
work three closely linked points are made below experience. I shall re-visit this third point
which pepper the rest of the paper. Firstly, fear later.The imagined fear of self-disclosure
of self-disclosure is often an imagined fear based becomes immobilising and can result in a sense
on the original wound or trauma, and secondly, of troubled defensiveness and neurotic suspicion
gives rise to the emergence of psychological of others. Thomas writes in his journal before
themes that are repeatedly re-enacted in a series the start of one session:
of pivotal (mostly negative) past experiences.
One of these pivotal experiences (for example, “I don’t know what will come out of me
William as a small boy remembers and relives today, or what I will let out. Try as I
may, I am not calm. I am suspecting
being locked outside of his parents bedroom
and distrustful ... I sit, awaiting some
when he desperately needed their comfort after a kind of question, awaiting the
nightmare), is remembered in group therapy. invasiveness which I am sure will
present itself. I taunt my body, holding
This remembered experience or event in the
it in rigid defensiveness ... For I have
group context is not necessarily the original told myself that I am a mere presence,
wound, but has re-enacted again ‘faulty relational ungenerous and distanced. I will not be
breached, and so I can’t be damaged.
templates’ (Teyber, 1997) that first emerged in And so with my troubled heart I stay
the generic familial interactions between parent quiet and unrevealing”.
(or caregiver) and child, and that now dominate
William remembered his feelings
and guide all current thinking and behaviour.
Teyber describes these ‘relational templates’ as
“my greatest fear was in knowing that I
“ingrained relational responses and expectations”
had to self-disclose. Most of us find this
(p.18). These are relational patterns or difficult to do with our friends let alone
“relationship themes that are more pervasive ... in a group ... What I find difficult is what
they do with the information that I have
across the different narratives the client relates” just given them. Because I am insecure
(p.50). ‘Faulty’ relational templates are about myself, I needed to know what
understood as repetitive self-defeating relational the other person is thinking and how
they feel about what I have just said,
patterns. Thirdly, linked to the fourth point, to and whether they see me in a different
remember and relive (even the original light. Once I had self-disclosed, I did
experience) is not enough. What is essential for not know where I stood with people and
that made me uncomfortable and
therapeutic change in group work is the unsure of myself.
occurrence of a corrective emotional experience
Julia remarked that
“I was nervous. I knew that I wanted to I was unaware of my tension in my
work with my guilty feelings but I wanted body. When I did speak, afterwards I
to pull out and continue avoiding my felt relief but also a gnawing sense of
feelings. When it came time to disclose, may be others think less of me now.
I felt worried about embarrassing myself, What did they think about me?”
and I was not quite sure what to expect.
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Indo-Pacific Journal of Phenomenology, Volume 2, Edition 2, September 2002 Page 9 of 15
interpersonal and psychological space which they
all occupy within the therapeutic space of the
Within the therapeutic space of the alchemical group and beyond, and such uncertainties have
vessel that is the group, when individuals choose both conscious and unconscious influences on the
to disclose, despite the existential and exactness which they all hope define their
phenomenological anxiety and the complex perception of themselves and ‘the world of
matrix of interpersonal projections and other’. It is possible within the alchemical vessel
distortions, healing begins in a small but definite that is the group that our intuitions regarding the
way. William, with his deep wounds of other, and our understanding of ourselves in
childhood abandonment, Thomas with his broken terms of those others are entirely inaccurate.
heart, Ellen with her guilt and remorse over the Self-disclosure so often defines the process of
death of her father, and Julia, carrying a sense of group work, and affects the healing of group
shame in betraying a childhood best friend and members and reveals how they situate themselves
lying to her mother, all began to self-disclose, to in the world. The group therapy process allowed
risk, to share, to open a closed door within, to these four group members to begin to examine
speak an unspoke truth, and to lean towards a their situatedness in the world, and explore their
greater sense of authenticity and freedom. I shaky distorted self-perceptions. The therapeutic
invited each to experience the impact of their encounter of the group sets the scene for the
revelations on the other group members. Each members to test the reality of their perceptions of
asked every group member what they thought self and others, and can dissolve these self-
about them now that they had told their stories. generated interpersonal distortions (faulty
They all received positive feedback which relational templates). In other words, the group
became a powerful corrective emotional as the alchemical vessel presents the therapeutic
experience. space in which reparations can be made,
projections withdrawn, and inaccurate
Doubts and conflicted feelings seem to pervade interpretations corrected.
group members’ intuitions regarding the
Thomas had told himself that he could protect The alchemical vessel had done its
himself and be safe by not disclosing, by not transformational work.
speaking out his truth and his pain. He had Returning to the notion that healing happens
chosen to remain silent: “I am a mere presence, between people, or the “in-between-ness of
ungenerous and distanced. I will not be healing”, one of the central points that I am
breached, and so I can’t be damaged. And so making in this paper is that the prime source of
with my troubled heart I stay quiet and healing is between people within the therapeutic
unrevealing”. When he did eventually speak, space of the group. It is the interpersonal
with trembling hesitation, his fears of self- relationships in the group that heal - it is the
disclosure arose dramatically. But in the complex matrix of the interpersonal dynamics of
complex act of disclosure, he metaphorically the people in the group that provide the
‘opened a door’. He felt anxious but he spoke interpersonal healing. This is illustrated in terms
and in that moment, the healing process began to of Thomas. Thomas’s prime source of healing
take place. His imagined fears of being rejected was between people in the group. Thomas was
and dismissed by the group, as he had once been, not rejected or shunned by the group members as
were grossly unfounded and quickly displaced he had perhaps imagined would happen because
when he received instead positive affirmation of his on-going current beliefs about himself
from the group members. In that moment he had based on the past event/old trauma documented
experienced a corrective emotional experience. above. The group accepted him. What he had

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Indo-Pacific Journal of Phenomenology, Volume 2, Edition 2, September 2002 Page 10 of 15
feared most had not happened. The affirming 20). Similarly, Fromm-Reichmann (1960) states
response to Thomas by the group members that the therapist must provide the client with an
provided the avenue to resolution and self- experience rather than an explanation. To re-
transformation. The corrective emotional state, in the context of group therapy, this healing
experience - the experience of sharing his most mechanism occurs between the group members.
profound feelings with others who remained The therapist is included as a group member.
attuned, connected and validating - had loosened
the hold of old relational templates and imagined Perhaps for Thomas, others outside of the group
negative expectations. may now not continue to be perceived as
potentially rejecting. Teyber (1997) is of the
The corrective emotional experience is the basic opinion that clients become much more open and
mechanism of therapeutic progress and change receptive to interventions from all
(Teyber, 1997; Yalom, 1995). Clients change psychotherapeutic theoretical orientations once
when they live through emotionally painful and this corrective emotional experience has
ingrained relational scenarios with the therapist, occurred. Perhaps Thomas could begin to let go
and the therapeutic relationship gives rise to of the “rigid defensiveness” that had perhaps
outcomes different from those expected, marked his interpersonal relationships. Perhaps
anticipated, or feared (Strupp, 1980). “When the he could risk being revealing and generous rather
client re-enacts important aspects of his or her than “ungenerous and distanced”. As therapy
conflict with the therapist and the therapist’s progresses and the resistances are slowly peeled
response does not fit the old relational templates, away, clients often painfully recognise how much
schema, or expectations, the client has the energy they have put into maintaining an
experience that the relationship can be another idealised image of themselves that lead to a
way. It is powerful and enlivening to find out restricted existence (Bugental, 1978; Corey,
that, at least this time, the same unwanted 2000).
relational pattern did not occur” (Teyber, 1997, p.
A critical point is that it was fundamentally the Making sense of things: Fear of and
psychological presence of two interconnected reluctance to self-disclosure: A form of
resistance
processes of healing that helped the participants
Ellen had stated, “I felt an overwhelming sense
in the group therapy context. These processes
of fear ... fear of self-disclosure”.
are I) the process of telling the story in such as
way that it is relived emotionally and physically,
Much has been written about resistance in the
ii) followed closely by a corrective emotional
context of group therapy (Boyd, 1990; Corey,
experience. As indicated earlier, remembering
2000; Corey & Corey, 1994; Feder & Ronall,
and reliving in therapy is not enough. What is
1994; Friedman, 1994; Slavson, 1979; Yalom,
required (and to some extent demonstrated in the
1995). Reluctance to self-disclose is to be
documentation of the clinical material), is this
respected and interpreted as a form of resistance.
corrective emotional experience which must be
Julia had wanted to “pull out and continue
experienced within the group soon after the
avoiding” her feelings of guilt about betraying
relived experience for this relived (and often
her old best friend. She had felt fearful and
traumatic) experience to be therapeutic. From
anxious about the consequences of her disclosure
within this perspective, a primary contention of
within the group. Julia had not only re-created
this paper is that the therapeutic action is not
and re-enacted the same scenarios later in her life
insight but a new relationship.
with other people (Freud’s ‘compulsion to
repeat’), she also felt that she needed to pretend
she liked them as others liked them. These
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Indo-Pacific Journal of Phenomenology, Volume 2, Edition 2, September 2002 Page 11 of 15
complex patterns of interpretation of experiences knew I wanted to work with my guilty feelings
of self and other had rendered Julia feeling that but I wanted to pull out”. Resistance to self-
she could never be authentic both with herself disclose is not to be treated harshly or evaluated
and with the other in terms of how she truly felt negatively. It is never therapeutic for the group
towards her friends in her ‘digs’ (shared rented member, or witnessing group members, to feel
student house). Her search for authenticity was blamed or criticised, and they need help to re-
constantly thwarted. Furthermore, self-disclosure frame their critical attitude towards their
was not easy for Julia as well. She had fantasies reluctance (resistance) to self-disclose.
of “embarrassing” herself. “I was nervous. I
As a form of resistance, reluctance to self- William - because of his psychological history,
disclose precludes group members from the and his faulty relational templates from within
corrective emotional experience so necessary for which he was operating, it makes sense that he
healing (of the heart). Members of a group would be reluctant to self-disclose. “My greatest
therapy process, and clients in individual therapy, fear was in knowing that I had to self-disclose ...
are often unaware of their resistance. In some Because I am insecure about myself, I needed to
cases, they are aware. These four group know what the other person is thinking and how
members were aware of wanting to avoid dealing they feel about what I have just said ...”.
with their conflicts by remaining quite and William, with his over-riding sense of ‘not
‘ungenerous’. They were aware of the possible belonging’ had basically believed that people
damaging consequences of their self-disclosure. would not be able to care for him and that he
“What would they think of me” is echoed in all would always be ‘left outside’ (a metaphor for
their stories of resistance/reluctance to disclose. his not belonging). As a reminder, in a critical
So it is at one level safer to remain silent. Many moment during his early psychological
therapists stress the need to honour the resistance development he had been left outside in a dark
because it “originally served a self-preservative corridor, alone and frightened, his needs to be
and adaptive function: it was the best possible cared for unmet by significant others. This
response to an unsolvable conflict that the client traumatic experience continued to haunt him in
had available at particular stages in his or her his current psychological life and existence. In
development” (Teyber, 1997, p. 67). Thomas other words, the reluctance becomes
remained quiet, a mere presence, taunting his understandable in the context of William’s life
body in the fearful expectation of being rejected history. In the process of William also
and humiliated as he had once been years before. remembering and reliving the event, and later
“The feelings that underlie the client’s resistance encountering a very moving corrective emotional
always make sense historically, although they experience, William was able to begin a process
may no longer be necessary or adaptive in the of ‘making sense of things’. He was able to
current relationships” (p. 68). identify his faulty distortions and interpretations
in the group, and he began to enact personal
Knowing the psychological history and the faulty (cognitive and emotional) change.
relational templates of individuals it makes sense
that they may be reluctant to self-disclose in the Once a therapist recognises the links between
group therapy context. The fears and reluctance self-disclosure and the corrective emotional
embedded in the act of self-disclosure hide the experience, other important aspects of what I call
deep roots of our negative beliefs about “making sense of things” become possible.
ourselves. Re-framing this point in terms of
Understandably Ellen did not want to disclose re-experience the old wounds of rejection, guilt
her story, as it meant that she would potentially and hurt. When she did decide to take the risk

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The IPJP is a joint project of Rhodes University in South Africa and Edith Cowan University in Australia. This
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Indo-Pacific Journal of Phenomenology, Volume 2, Edition 2, September 2002 Page 12 of 15
and disclose, it felt initially safer to tell the story behaving and their distortions and inaccurate
remaining emotionally detached, suspicious and interpretations, to understand why they originally
suspecting of others and herself. On the basis of needed to defend themselves, and recognise how
her traumatic experience of the death of the they may be continuing to do so in the context of
father she had felt what she had done then would group therapy and interpersonal relations beyond
not be accepted by the group members. Such, therapy. It is important that therapists validate
what I believe are often, imagined but the good that this resistance (fear of self-
understandable threats of non-acceptance were disclosure) once provided. Moreover, as
more than Ellen could initially cope with. As indicated above, therapists must present an
with William and Thomas, her fear of self- opportunity where group members respond to the
disclosure makes sense in the light of her members currently working in the group in ways
psychological history. She feared rejection, she that are different from the aversive ways that
feared that what she would say would be judged others responded in the past.
and she would be found wanting, and even
perhaps abandoned (again). By remaining silent Final comments
and initially not wanting to self-disclose to the Returning to an earlier point - it is the
group, she was effectively perpetuating her experiential reliving of the event (not just simply
distortions and inaccurate assumptions about the remembering of the story), and the experience
others and herself. In the telling of the story and of a corrective emotional experience soon after,
the active reliving it experientially, Ellen too had that makes therapy therapeutic. Drawing from
opened a door to her own re-learning. In the aspects of psychodynamic psychotherapy
alchemical vessel that is the group, Ellen spoke discourse, specifically the work of Merton Gill
her truth, cried her sense of shame and regret, (1981, 1983) (also cited in Kahn, 1991) the
and grieved the lost years of living in self un- notion that remembering (thoughts and feelings
forgiveness. The group members had affirmed long repressed) in therapy has been viewed as a
her story, helped create a corrective emotional central therapeutic act, widely supported since
experience for her, held her, creating what Freud first presented his model of
Winnicott (1971) termed a ‘holding environment’ psychopathology. Freud believed that it was
- a close interpersonal envelope of caring - in excessive repression that created and maintained
which she could re-evaluate and test her old problems in living for his patients. Their lives
belief systems about herself and the world. were being driven by inner forces of which they
Without the opportunity to receive immediate could not control or were even aware of. It was
feedback from the group and the therapist about his hope that if he could make the repressed
what they were thinking and feeling, Ellen would material conscious, and if this new expanded
most likely re-enact, interpret and misunderstand consciousness could be emotionally used, that is,
reactions from others along old problematic made an effective part of the patients awareness,
relational lines. the problem would be ameliorated. He wanted
his patients to remember and to remember with
There is a need then to help group members conviction (Kahn, 1991, my italics).
identify their habitual patterns of thinking and
This is remembering therapy (Kahn, 1991). betrayal. Thomas remembered being spurned by
William remembered being left outside of his his beloved, while Ellen remembered calling out
parents bedroom door and wanting to be inside, to her father - “I hope you die!”. Gill (1981)
safe and protected from the dream images that does not reject the notion that remembering is
haunted and terrorised him. Julia remembered necessary in therapy to effect some change in the
being 11 years old and the feelings of shame and clients, and like many other psychotherapists, he

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The IPJP is a joint project of Rhodes University in South Africa and Edith Cowan University in Australia. This
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Indo-Pacific Journal of Phenomenology, Volume 2, Edition 2, September 2002 Page 13 of 15

believes that remembering is not enough. “If (self-disclosure) is not enough. It is not by itself
remembering is not enough, what is missing is therapeutic. It must be accompanied by the
re-experiencing (Kahn, 1991, p. 55). In terms of chance for group members to re-experience or
this paper, I echo Gill’s (1981) opinion that relive the old wound or trauma in the presence of
clients problems were originally acquired others that results in new responses from others
experientially, and therefore, in order to be which teaches (re-learning) clients that this time
transformed or healed, they must be transformed it can be different to what they had expected
experientially. They must be relived. In the (imagined) would happen. This is the source of
context of group therapy, re-experiencing or healing - the corrective emotional experience - a
reliving must occur within a safe and caring new relationship. In this context, healing
therapeutic environment. This notion links to the happens between people - the “in-between-ness
related notion of the corrective emotional of healing”. Finally, in order for reliving or re-
experience in therapy - the primary source of experiencing in group therapy to be of value, it
therapeutic healing and change for clients - in must be contained within the therapeutic space.
that clients must re-learn the earlier learning by
recreating the old situation (in therapy) from About the Author
which they originally learned things about Dr Zelda Knight, a Senior Lecturer in the
themselves and the other. To re-phrase, the Department of Psychology at Rhodes University,
emphasis on re-experiencing or reliving is a registered Research and Counselling
represents a core component of most models of Psychologist. She obtained her PhD in 1997.
psychotherapy, both group and individual. It re-
focusses the classical psychoanalytic perspective Currently, Dr Knight is the Director of Masters in
of transference as well. To Freud, the value of Counselling Psychology Training and is co-
transference lay in its power and significance to founder and President of The South African
help the patient remember and remember with Association for Psychotherapy (SAAP) which
conviction. For Gill (1981) and others, the value seeks to promote the practice and research of
of transference lies in providing clients with an psychotherapy in South Africa. To this end, she
opportunity to experience once more the old has chaired the Organising Committees for
wound, and the response originally encountered SAAP’s two national psychotherapy conferences,
by it, and that now they can receive a held in 2001 and 2003.
significantly different response from the
therapist, and in the case of group therapy, from She has published extensively in refereed
the other group members. journals and books, and regularly presents
research at national and international
In summary, remembering in group or individual conferences.
therapy is not enough. Merely re-telling the story

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document is subject to copyright and may not be reproduced in whole or in part via any medium (print,
electronic or otherwise) without the express permission of the publishers.
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