The Starlight Crystal (PDFDrive)

Author of The Visitor
and The Lost Mind
She lived until

the end of time.
iko'm Public Library
$3.99 U.S.
$4.99 CAN.
o
LOST IN TIME
I understood many things. Yet I still did not
comprehend why it was so painful to learn such
simple lessons. I wondered if Alosha had halted the
seven steps because of me. My agony was tearing
me apart and still I was afraid to let go. He was
dead; I needed to let his memory go, too. That was
the first step for me, before discrimination.
Yet my love was the ghost of a young girl's dream. It

walked alone in the abyss, stubbornly, where only
illusions prospered on tears and regrets. My love
had a life of its own; it was perverted but neverthe-
less still vital. For that reason, I wanted to return to
deep space. Honestly, I would have preferred it if
we had traveled forever and never stopped at
another star system. To fall into endless blackness,
that was my new fantasy.
The young girl with the ancient dream wept. I could

hear her; I even saw her tears on the glass of the
observation deck. It made me feel old. I didn't want
to know her name. I couldn't forget Tern but I
needed to forget her.

Books by Christopher Pike
BURY ME DEEP
CHAIN LETTER 2: THE ANCIENT EVIL
DIE SOFTLY
THE ETERNAL ENEMY
FALL INTO DARKNESS
FINAL FRIENDS #1: THE PARTY
FINAL FRIENDS #2: THE DANCE
FINAL FRIENDS #3: THE GRADUATION
GIMME A KISS
THE IMMORTAL
LAST ACT
THE LAST VAMPIRE
THE LAST VAMPIRE 2: BLACK BLOOD
THE LAST VAMPIRE 3: RED DICE
THE LOST MIND
MASTER OF MURDER
THE MIDNIGHT CLUB
MONSTER
REMEMBER ME
REMEMBER ME 2: THE RETURN
REMEMBER ME 3: THE LAST STORY
ROAD TO NOWHERE
SCAVENGER HUNT
SEE YOU LATER
SPELLBOUND
THE STARLIGHT CRYSTAL
THE VISITOR
WHISPER OF DEATH
THE WICKED HEART
WITCH
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This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and

incidents are products of the author's imagination or are used
fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons,
living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
AN ARCHWAY PAPERBACK Original
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POCKET BOOKS, a division of Simon & Schuster, Inc.
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Copyright © 1996 by Christopher Pike
All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce

this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever.
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IL9+
For Paige Christian
1
How do I explain a life that has lasted for billions of

years? It is almost as if I must start with an apology
for being alive when everyone I once knew is dead.
But because my love for them still lives, I believe
their souls forgive me. But does the universe? I
wonder. I have watched even the stars change, as
their energies dwindle and their light dims. I love
them as well. They are all I have left — the stars and
the memory of the many times I wished upon them.
But with all those wishes, I asked for only one
thing.
To see him again.
But I will not see him. I do not see him now.
There is only the dust of a ruined world. The salt
of dead seas. I taste the salt on my parched lips, and
I feel so terribly alone. Yes, despite my love, I
believe the stars have cursed me for trying to

outlast them. Nine billion years and the only lesson
CHRISTOPHER PIKE
Fve learned is a bitter one. I should have known at
the beginning,when I said goodbye to him.
I should have known not to go.
But I knew nothing. That day we met.

Except that was happy.
I
It was a Sunday. I was at the library reading

history — the late twentieth century. That was an
interesting time for an eighteen-year-old like my-
self. But unlike a student in those crazy days two
hundred years ago, I was not studying by reading a
book or watching a video. I was hooked up to a
Hypno-Prompt, a century-old invention that was
capable of feeding an encyclopedia of information
into my mind in the space of two hours.
The machine first put me into a deep hypnotic
state, so my mind could absorb facts like a sponge
soaking up water. The machine consisted of head-

gear that went across my face. A learning session
usually started with a blank screen and the faint
roar of waves or the gentle pelting of rain. Slow-
ly the natural sounds lulled me into a peaceful
state.
The screen was not a screen in the traditional

sense. Two blunt-ended fiber optics led to each of
my eyes. These optics fired images directly into my
brain at a speed my conscious mind couldn't
follow, but which my subconscious could. I enjoyed
sessions with the Hypno-Prompt. They were always
relaxing and, of course, incredibly informative. But
they scared me as well. I took in such huge blocks
of knowledge in such short periods that I wasn't
sure I was the same person afterward. Leaving the
library that day, a kaleidoscope of "nineteen nine-
ties"images spun in my brain.
There were riots in the streets back then. People
became celebrities for committing murder. Politi-
cians were trying to legislate morality. Popular
music was urging people to kill authority figures. It
was an insane era.
Yet it was filled with great beauty and excite-
ment. There were major medical breakthroughs
every other day. The first steps into outer space
were being taken. Art and music were often crude,
but almost always inventive. The majority of politi-
cians may have been misled, but many were trying
to create a better society. To me, the late twentieth
century was the worst of times and the best of
times. As I left the library to meet my destiny, I
decided I would have been very happy to be alive

then.
"Been a long time since I rock and rolled," I sang
as I hurrieddown Where had the
the library steps.
lyrics come from?
was some kind of heavy metal
It
song from a group called Heavy Balloon. Some-

thing like that. It usually took me a few hours
to assimilate everything the Hypno-Prompt had
crammed into my skull.
There was a young woman standing on the steps,
as I came out.
She was staring at me. As if she knew me, knew
me well.
CHRISTOPHER PIKE
But I'd never seen her before.
She stepped toward me. Her sunglasses were
wide and dark, her blond hair short and stiff as if it
had been dyed with harsh chemicals. She had my
thin build and was about my height, but her
features were hard. Her age was difficult to guess
she could have been a year older or ten. She walked
as if she had been through a lot in her life; stiffly, a
bit wearily. Yet she smiled as she neared me, and
offered me her hand.
"You look you don't remember me, Paige/'
like
she said in a soft voice. "I met you a couple years

ago. We were introduced at a party for a mutual
friend. My name's Alpha Book."
I shook her hand. "I'm sorry. I know your face,
but that's all." I didn't really know her face. But

there was something about her that made me feel
we had met before. "Who was the friend?"
She smiled quickly. It seemed forced. Her eyes
strayed to Rainbow Park, which was across the
street. "I don't remember. Isn't that funny? But I
do remember you." She pointed to the park. "I was

just there. It's lovely today. You should go. I was
sitting by the lake beside the fountain." She low-
ered her head and sorrow touched her features,
although it was difficult to see how deep it went
because of her dark glasses. She added, "It was very
lovely."
I didn't know what to make of her. "I've never
heard the name Alpha before."
She looked up. "It suits me, Paige." Then she
reached in her coat, and for a moment I sensed
danger and was afraid. In fact, I had the ridiculous
idea that she was about to pull out a gun and shoot
me. I stiffened, ready to flee. But all she withdrew
was a handkerchief. She touched it to her eyes
without removing her glasses. "I should go," she
said, nodding to me. "It was nice to see you again."
"You, too," I said.
Iwatched her as she headed down the steps and
then disappeared around the side of the building.
She had only come to tell me to go to the park, I
realized. How odd.
I went because I was curious. To the spot she
described.
It was not a sacrifice. I might have gone anyway.
Rainbow Park was my on the entire
favorite place
west coast of America. was unlike any park a
It
teenager from the late twentieth century would

have known. For one thing it was larger than parks
—
had been ten miles across and covered with —
trees from all over the world, man-made moun-
tains, and splashing waterfalls. Never mind the five
thousand varieties of birds and the five different
species of bears who lived there. Rainbow Park
stood right in the center of what had once been Los
Angeles, which had been leveled by a massive
earthquake in the early twenty-first century.
At the lake, close to the fountain,I saw no one.
At least But then Tern appeared.

not at first.
He came right up out of the water. He wore scuba

—
equipment he had just been diving. His sudden
CHRISTOPHER PIKE
appearance startled me. up from where I was
I got
sitting and started to move away as he walked out
of the water in my direction. But then he removed
his face mask and smiled.
"You don't look like a fish," he said.
"In case you didn't notice, you've already sur-
faced," I said.
Hetook a step closer, dripping on the grass. His
hair was long and dark; he wore it in braids down to
his waist, the popular custom. His face was also
dark: he looked half Indian, a quarter African,
maybe a little Irish. His eyes were a startling blue,
even under a film of evaporating water. He was tall,
well muscled, and moved with carefree grace. He
couldn't have been more than two years older than
I was. I had to shield my eyes as I stared up at him
because he had the sun at his back. Always, to me, I
would remember Tern moving with light. He tossed
aside his mask and studied me.
"But you do look like a mermaid," he said. "You
know what that is?"
"Of course. And you look like a big toad. Do you
know what that is?"
He threw his head back and laughed. "You know,
most guys would be insulted by that remark. But I
take it as a compliment."
"Why? I am trying to insult you."
He continued to smile. "I love frogs. They're one
of my major fields of study." He offered his hand.
"I'm Tern."
I shook my head. "I can't shake your hand. You
might give me toad warts."

"That's impossible. And even if I do, you can just
have them frozen off."
"The cost sounds a little high to me." I paused.

"Hey, did you see a young woman around here
before you went under?"
"No."
"Anyone?"
"No. Why?"
"It doesn't matter." I pointed to the water.
"What were you doing in there anyway?"
"Studying frogs."
"Seriously?"
"Yes. They haven't been chirping as loud this
year as last. I'm trying to find out why."
"Do you have any theories?"
"Yes." He moved closer and spoke confidential-
ly. "I think it's because there are more boy frogs in
the lake than girl frogs. I think both sexes are
frustrated."
I laughed. "If you weren't so good-looking I'd
think that was a pick-up line."
"You're not bad looking yourself."
"Your compliment means nothing. You love the
sight of frogs."
But I glowed at his compliment. One thing that
hadn't changed since the end of the twentieth cen-
tury was the vanity of eighteen-year-old girls. I was
usually quite confident about my looks — that is,
except when I was standing beside a cute guy. I was

tall and thin and could eat all I wanted and never
CHRISTOPHER PIKE
gain a pound. My hair was dark red, the color of
desert dusk; I usually wore it layered to my shoul-
ders. My green eyes were my best feature, according
to my father, who seldom complimented me. I
sometimes wondered if he said that because I had

inherited my eyes from him. But I doubted it
vanity was never one of his weaknesses. Captain

Karl Christian — people shook when he walked by,
his commanding aura was so imposing.
Tern offered his hand again. "Come on. What' re
a few warts between friends?"
I hesitated, then shook his hand. "You don't even
know my name. How can you call yourself my
friend?"
"I know you." He leaned over and kissed my
hand lightly. "I don't need your name to know I
know you."
And I did know him. I don't know how. He was a
stranger — handsome, true, but not someone I ordi-
narily would have been attracted to. He was too
weird, for one thing, and I was the last person who
needed to start a romance. I was a week away from

leaving the earth for two hundred years aboard the
Traveler. Whoever I met now would be dead when
I returned. While I would have aged only one
year. Einstein's Theory of Relativity would see to

that.
I wanted to tell Tern right then as he kissed my

hand. That he was wasting my time because we
would soon be on drastically different clocks. Then
8
he straightened up and stared into my eyes, and I
swear I felt so much love for him then that it was
either a miracle of God or a lapse in sanity. I did
not believe in reincarnation. I'm not sure if I do
now, at least not in the way established religions
describe it. But another life is the only way I can
explain how much it meant to meet him. I felt as we
gazed at each other as if I were peering into a
corridor of blessed souls, a labyrinth of blissful life
that had no beginning or end. I felt happy right

then, in a way I had never known before.
And I also felt sad, in a way I was to know too
well too soon.
"I'm Paige," I whispered.
He was serious, for once. "Are you the first page,
or the last?"
I didn't answer, not right then.
But I told him later that I was leaving soon. In
one week.
2
And a week later we stood in the exact spot.
He wanted to follow me up into orbit to say
goodbye, but I said no. In the last seven days, we
had spent every waking moment together, mainly
outside in the sun, and I wanted to remember him
as I remembered the earth —
full of life and
warmth. For some reason, I was afraid to connect

our time together to the cold and blackness of
space. Tern didn't understand but he respected my
wish.We respected each other a great deal by then.
He kissed me beside the lake and held me close.
"I love you," he said.
But I turned away and stared at the water. "I wish
you didn't," I whispered.
He touched my shoulder. "Why?"
The sun was close to the horizon. Reflected on
it made the whole lake a bowl of blood.
the water,
"You know why," I said. "The next time I stand on
this world, I will stand beside your grave."
10
"You can bring me flowers."
I turned to him. "I can't bear the thought. Don't
you see?"
He saw that I was in pain. He hugged me again.
"I have been thinking about how fast time will fly
for you, and how slow it will pass for me. And I
have a plan. We can defeat time." He lifted up my
chin, forcing me to stare into his eyes. "Listen to
me, Paige, our love can beat it."
I had to smile. He was full of plans. "What is it?"
"I know the acceleration of the Traveler will
disallow regular radio contact, but we can still
communicate. Our relationship can go on. We can
take a vow, you and 1. 1 will write you once a month
on my computer. You will write me once a month
on yours. Of course, you will have all my letters
after a short time, but if you promise not to read
them until each of your months has passed, it will
be like we're having a long distance affair."
I liked the idea. "But you won't get to see all my
letters." Because I had to, I added, "You'll be

dead."
He pulled me tighter. "I'll see all your letters."
"How?"
"That's for me to know. You just keep your end
of the bargain. As your ship reaches near light
speed, and the years fly by, and all my letters
tumble in at once, please don't read ahead. That's
all you have to promise me."
I nodded. "I promise, Tern. But you must prom-
ise you won't forget me."
11
CHRISTOPHER PIKE
He spoke with feeling. "I will never forget you."
"Never is a long time," I whispered in his ear.
"Not for us."
"If we only had more time."
"Time is nothing to us, Paige. This moment is
forever."
"Forever," I mumbled, feeling a peculiar chill.
Stepping back, I removed a small knife from my
pocket and cut off a lock of my red hair. I gave it to

him. "I want you to have this." I gestured to his
hair. "I want a lock of yours."
He let me take it. Then he kissed me again. His
touch was so good.
I shed only one tear, but was as heavy as gold.
it
Finally I had to pull away. My watch demanded

it.
"Goodbye, Tern."
He smiled at me. "Goodbye, Paige."
I turned and walked away. I glanced over my
shoulder only once, but he stood with his back to

me, his feet in the water, his eyes on the setting sun.
The red light did indeed resemble blood, the end of
all things. It was to burn in my soul like a memory
etched in the twilight of a youth who had never

known innocence. The sun set even as I watched
him, and he was lost in shadows.
"Goodbye, my love," I said softly.
12
3
The Traveler resembled a huge spear, aimed at the
next two centuries. Over a half mile long and a
hundred yards wide, it was equipped to carry over
six hundred crew members. The entire rear half of
the vessel was devoted to the recently developed
graviton drive, which could bend and focus the
waves of gravity that crisscrossed the universe and
use them as a means of propulsion. It was like
riding the crests of all the oceans' waves. The
Traveler would take six months to accelerate to
near light speed, where time would begin to
itself
do an exotic dance. It was a time capsule as well as

a spaceship, and it would be my home for the next
year and ten days of my life. All because my father,
Commander Karl Christian, was the ship's captain.
The purpose of our mission was simple to —
observe human society over a perspective of two
centuries, and then return home. Our orbit would
take us above the plane of the cometary cloud,
13
CHRISTOPHER PIKE
which lay beyond Pluto. Around and around we
would circle the solar system, our many instru-
ments pointed toward the warmth of the sun,
traveling through the years, but never really going
anywhere in space.
Of course we would see nothing earth didn't see.
Earth would record the same history as we would.
But what we would bring back to earth was a
perspective of the two centuries past, a bit of living
history. We would be the history. We were man-
kind's insurance that it would lose nothing that it
had gained until then.
Sometimes, though, I thought our published pur-
pose was abstract. Sometimes I thought we were
going out there because mankind was nervous.
Nervous about what it would run into now that it
had just begun to explore the stars. We were
insurance, yes, maybe life insurance.
Yet while we were in the acceleration phase, as
Tem had noted, our instruments wouldn't work
very well. The graviton drive distorted space itself.
We could only receive messages from earth when

the drive was turned off. Otherwise, we would fly in
oblivion, unaware of what was happening to hu-
manity. But six months of accelerating, and anoth-
er six months decelerating, was not considered too
long a time to be out of reach. Not when our
mission was so lengthy.
When measured by an outside stationary observ-
er's standards.
That was the key.
14
—
went back to Einstein. That guy had been
It all
one smart cookie. He had figured out the most

famous equation of them all: E = mc 2 energy —
equals mass times the velocity of light squared.
What that meant for us was that as we neared the
speed of light — to —
an outside observer our mass
and therefore our kinetic energy would near in-
finity. Yet aboard the Traveler we wouldn't feel
especially heavy or infinite. Nor would we notice
that time had slowed down for us. Yet in that last
—
one percent of velocity between ninety-nine per-
cent the speed of light and one hundred percent
time could slow down until it practically came to a
stop.
Unfortunately, for me, for my heart, the six
months of acceleration were crucial. Once we
reached our desired velocity and remained there
for ten days, two hundred years on earth would fly
by. Tern would age years in my minutes. He would
write me dozens of letters —
one every month
while I brushed my teeth one morning. For me and
my fellow travelers, the two hundred years would
pass in ten days, and in those ten days all our instru-
ments would be humming with activity.
It was in those ten days Tern would die.
I wondered if I would know it. The actual instant
he died.
My father met me as I came aboard. He kissed
me on the right cheek rather mechanically. My
father was not known for displays of affection. Yet
15
CHRISTOPHER PIKE
distant relatives said that when my mother was
alive, he had been much warmer. But those days I
didn't remember. My mother had perished from an

unexpected solar flare, while doing sun research
inside the orbit of Mercury. From pictures, I knew
we looked very much alike. I wondered if that was
one of the reasons my father and I were never close.
If Iwas a ghost that never quit haunting him.
Yet I loved my father. His inner strength showed
in his outer build. He was stocky but not short. His

features were squarish, seemingly cut by rulers and
computers rather than by nature. His green eyes
were the same as mine in color and shape, but the
power that radiated behind them was a wonder
itself. He didn't have to open his mouth to give an
order. His glance said more than most peoples'

words. In defiance of recent tastes, he kept his head
completely shaved. It suited him; it brought him
that much closer to being a machine.
I didn't know if my father loved me.
"How was your flight up?" he asked, looking
smart in his black uniform. wore a purple uni-I
form, as did most relations of officers. Purple was

at the bottom of the authority ladder, not that I
cared. About half the crew members had family
with them. The government understood how hard
two centuries apart could be on a family.
I had asked that Tern be allowed to come with
me. I had begged.

But my father said there was no room for him.
16
Did I hate him for that? I don't know.
Tern had begged me to stay and I had refused.
What right did I have to hate anyone?
I forced a smile. "My flight up was lovely. How is
the ship? Are we ready to take off?"
"Yes." My and walked toward the
father turned
bridge. I followed. "You're the last one to board.
We leave within the hour." He paused. "Did you
enjoy your last week?"
He was asking many things with the question. He
knew I had met Tern, had wanted to bring him
along. Yet he had no idea how deep my love ran. I
saw no reason to burden him with my pain. As
captain, he already had too much to oversee. I
forced another smile, kept my voice light.
"I had a lovely time," I said.

"That's nice," he answered.
17
4
We left earth orbit. Even plowing out from the sun,
we accelerated rapidly. Yet the graviton drive
worked internally as well as externally, balancing
the pressure on us fragile biological units. Non^
of us felt power of our growing speed. Not un-
the
less we looked out the window. For me, the sun
seemed to fade quickly in brightness, until it was

nothing but a bright star shining in an endless sea
of stars. Beyond the orbit of Pluto, it was dark and
cold.
A month went by and I received Tern's first letter.
Itwas grabbed in the brief hour the graviton drive
was turned off for maintenance reasons. That
meant my own letter was also sent in that same
hour. My note was therefore not a reply to his. We
would be a month off with our letters, until such
things became meaningless. I read his letter alone
in my cabin. It was not long but I treasured every
word.
18
Paige,
I have been very good since you left I spend
all my time with thefrogs, trying to repair their
sex lives while wondering what to do with my
own now that you are gone. Honestly, I haven't
been tempted by any of the creatures around
me, human or otherwise.
I miss you. What a feeble way to put it, huh?
When I think of you, I feel like dying and
smiling at the same time. I hope I die with a
smile on my face. Maybe I will have myself
frozen at that moment, and you can see wheth-
er I did or not.
But seriously, I miss you terribly. I study, I
eat, I sleep, I go for walks, and most of all I
stare up at the sky. Sometimes at night I
imagine I see your ship. I see a star twinkle
and I think of the glimmer in your eyes when
we were alone at night. Really, I think of
nothing but you. For me, it will always be this
way.
Love, and more love,
Tern
My letter was even shorter.
Tern,
Don't hate me but all I can say right now is
that I love you. If I say more, it will have no

meaning. Damn, it hurts like hell, but I treas-
ure the pain.
Paige
19
CHRISTOPHER PIKE
It was a sort of depressing letter. But misery loves
company — I thought he would like The thing
it.
had taken me a month to write. Amazing how time

crumbles when your heart is shattered.
I had two official roles aboard the Traveler: first, I
was a student of sociology, and second, worked in I
the ship's garden. My study of sociology would be

of particular help as we reached the midpoint of
our trip, when the entire earth society went through
a two-century adjustment. I was supposed to learn
something at that time, all of mankind was sup-
posed to. I wondered what it would be.
I also enjoyed working in the garden. I especially
liked the roses. I was the only one who insisted we

grow bushes with thorns. In my depressed state, the
only way I could enjoy the flowers was to see the
sharp thorns as well as the delicate petals. I saw my
work with the roses as a metaphor for my love
affair.
20
5
Kabrina worked in the garden with me.
She was my friend. She was short and soft
spoken. Her hair was a golden halo, fine as silk. I
loved to brush it, when she'd let me. Her father was
my father's First Officer — Number One — the sec-
ond most powerful man aboard the Traveler. Un-
like me, Kabrina had both her parents to keep her
company, and no boyfriend left behind to grieve
over. Yet Kabrina had burdens of her own. Since
birth, she had been completely deaf. I spoke to her
partially by signing, but mostly by allowing her to
read my lips. Kabrina could read lips like no deaf
person in the solar system. Sometimes I thought
she just read my mind.
Surprisingly she had a lovely Her sen-
voice.
tences were halting, but clear. I never had trouble
understanding her, and I would say no one under-
stood me as well as Kabrina did. I often talked to
her about Tern, and she listened without interrup-
21
CHRISTOPHER PIKE
tion. There is a special kind of understanding that
emerges from silence. Many times we would work
for hours in the garden, and I would feel no need to
speak. It was enough to know she was there beside
me.
That day, after receiving Tern's first letter, I
plucked a red rose and a thorn stabbed me in my

thumb. The blood spilled into my palm. I just stood
and stared at it. This was one metaphor I didn't
care for. Kabrina came up beside me and took my
hand.
"Do you want some disinfectant?" she asked
quietly. Kabrina never spoke above a low volume. I
shook my head.
"I don't think it will kill me," I said.
She patted me on the back. "I thought his letter
was lovely. You should be happy."
"Love is never happy. It is too busy suffering."
"If that is true, then there is no reason to get out
of bed in the morning."
I tapped her on top of her head with the rose.
"You're right, my friend. There is no reason to get

up. Do you want to have some ice cream? If I
cannot have the boy I love, I may as well get fat."
Maybe she hadn't heard exactly what I said.
Kabrina nodded. "Ice cream is our friend."
22
6
The months went by, and I hated them. The
Traveler was an arrow flying toward a target drawn
on my chest. When it struck that last percent of
velocity, I felt the blood would pour from my
finger. Itwas ironic. Even in our ultramodern world
of antibiotics and every conceivable medical de-
vice, my thumb did become infected, as Kabrina
had feared. And it wouldn't get better. The swelling
was always there: a dull ache, an ugly color, nothing
too serious, nothing really to complain about. But
nothing that would go away either. Yet after a while
I think I welcomed the infection. Somehow, to me,
it meant my blood was no longer pure. That I had
defiled it by choosing my duty over my love. It was

a reminder of what I had both lost and thrown
away.
Tem wrote me each month. His letters grew
longer, more witty, more sentimental, while mine
remained stunted bursts of melancholy. We were
23
CHRISTOPHER PIKE
still normal time. Tern was still only two
in almost
years older than I was. But as I watched our
speedometer, I saw a reflection of a ghoul's calen-
dar. There was no red Santa Claus to commemo-
rate Christmas this year. Only a skull and
crossbones hanging over the last month of the year.
In one letter Tern said he was sending my Christ-
—
mas present comet express he had found such a
service, he said. And I wanted to believe him. I put
my infected finger to my head and squeezed my
temples so tight another drop of blood fell from my
thumb and ran like a vampire's tear over his
signature.
I couldn't bear it.
7
As the crucial ten days neared, the earth days when
Tern would grow old, die, and become dust, I went
to my father's quarters. It was not often I visited
him alone. We usually met in public places: for a
meal, to watch a show. This time I went without
24
notice, late, when I feared he might be sleeping. Yet
I should have remembered how little rest he
needed. He was sitting at a computer monitor when
I walked in. He hardly looked up.
"Paige," he said. "This is a pleasant surprise."
I sat beside him at his desk. "Is it?" I asked.
He raised an eyebrow, but didn't stop working.
"What's the matter? Don't you feel well?"
I considered. "I lied to you."
"About what?"
"My friend. Tern. Do you remember him?"
He frowned. "The boy you met before we left?"
"Yes.Him."
"What about him?"
"He's going to die."
My father turned off his computer and looked at
me. "What's wrong with him?"
"Nothing." I gestured helplessly. "But he's going
to die of old age. In the next month."
My father shook his head. "You knew that was
inevitable when you boarded the ship."
"The fact that something is inevitable doesn't
make it less painful." I paused. "Besides, it isn't
inevitable."
"Whatare you talking about?" he asked.
want to go home. I want to return to earth.
"I
Before we move into ultra-time dilation. I want you
to turn the ship around, begin to decelerate." I
paused. "Please."
He stared at me, then sighed. "That's impossi-
ble."
25
CHRISTOPHER PIKE
"I knew you'd say that. But it isn't impossible.
You're the captain. If you give the order, it will be
done."
"You can't be serious, Paige."
"I am. I'm your daughter. You should know
when I'm serious. You should know when I'm
lying." A tear crept into my voice. "You should
have known I was in love."
"You didn't tell me how much he meant to you."
My voice cracked. "You didn't ask! Oh, yeah,
you wanted to know if I'd had a good time on my
vacation. But you didn't really want to know what I
did with that time. How precious it was to me
every second of it."
He moved to touch me, perhaps to wipe a tear

from my face. But then seemed to think better of it.
He had never seen this side of his daughter. I was
always cool and professional around him. Maybe
he was afraid I'd bite him. He withdrew his hand
and sat silent for a minute.
"We have a responsibility," he said finally. "To
the crew of this ship. To earth. To humanity. Never
before has a past generation been able to see future
generations as we will, to evaluate and advise them.
Two centuries will bring lis tremendous progress,
but as a people we may lose something as well. We
are mankind's guarantee that we lose nothing. Do
you understand this?"
"I have heard all that before. But I don't under-
stand it. Because I'm not mankind. No one is.
We're all individuals. You have to treat me like an
26
"

individual right now. Father, please, I'm the only
family you've got. Not that I'm sure what that
means to you. I know you loved my mother, but I
don't know how you feel about me. But I can tell
you how you should feel. I should be the most
important thing in your life. More important than
any mission. I
—
"Paige," he interrupted.
"I have never asked you for anything before in
my life!" I continued. "But I'm asking you this.
Turn this ship around. Let me go back to a time I
know, not to an alien future that won't know me.
Let me go back to him."
He took time to respond. "You know I can't do
that."
"What if I beg you? What if I tell you that I can't
live without him?"
"I can't." He lowered his head. "You'll get over
it. Time—"
"Time!" I interrupted, standing. "Time will not
heal this wound. Time is the enemy here." I
paused. "What if I tell you — if you don't turn
around the ship — I'll hate you for the rest of my
life?"
He raised his head, met my eyes. "Will you,
Paige?"
His gaze did something to me. I was staring into
my own genetic code. But the family mirror was
smeared with dust, fine particles that mysteriously
settled with each passing moment, unseen by any-
one until it was too late. I couldn't wipe them away
27
CHRISTOPHER PIKE
by striking him, and besides the gesture would be as
futile as it was improper. Yet I do know I hated him
right then.
Already Tern was five years older than I was, not
two.
I couldn't answer my father.
There was no point.
He wasn't going to help me. For that moment Tern
died inside me. Many things did. I turned and left
my father's quarters.
8
Tern's letters had piled up. They were in our
computer banks, I knew, and I would have read
them all at once except for my vow. That was all I
had left as our November moved into December.
—
The changing of the season a cold wind would
blow for sure. I could feel the winter dust of
cometary tails already chapping the skin of my
face.
But during those days, after confronting my
father, I often thought of the last time we had been
28
in space together. Two years earlier my father had
been assigned to captain the Questar to go out to
colonize another star system. It would have been a
one-way mission. By the time we arrived at our
destination — a system five hundred light years
distant — over five centuries would have passed on
earth. Yet aboard the Questar we would have been
alive and going somewhere. At least when I was
sixteen I didn't know Tern. I was looking forward to
the adventure. A fresh start on a new world.
But we were barely out of the solar system when
disaster struck. The Questar had a religious fanatic
aboard who didn't believe it was God's will that
mankind colonize other worlds. He worked in
engineering and sabotaged the engines so that as we
approached a velocity often million miles an hour,
the graviton drive overloaded and we were in
desperate danger of exploding. The man had per-
ished completing his dirty work. When the graviton
drives were on, they were not easily approached by
a human being. Usually the person ended up being
disrupted at a cellular level.
But to fix the damage and save our lives, someone

had to get to the drives and repair them. A robotic
probe couldn't do it; too many human decisions
had to be made at the repair sight, and the gravity
wave put off by the drive would disrupt communi-
cation with a robot. Therefore, a person had to go, a
hero, and he had to go knowing he would not be
coming back.
Of course my father wanted to do it. He was the
29
CHRISTOPHER PIKE
it was his ship. And whatever qualities my
captain;
fathermay have lacked, courage was not one of
them. He was suiting up when his chief engineer
managed to convince him that he, the engineer, was
more qualified todo the repair. I was with my
father then and saw what it took out of him to
I
send one of his best friends to his death. But the

engineer was right. He was better equipped for the
job, and my father knew that.
So we lived, and the engineer died. But our ship
was already too damaged. We had to turn around
and head for home. The loss of the mission hurt my
father deeply. Yet he never complained, about it or
anything else. I thought about that as I thought of
the ultimatum I had given him. He was right — it
was a foolish request. But, then, love is foolish. So I

had damaged our relationship for nothing. There
had never been a chance he would listen to me.
Besides thinking of my father, I often day-
dreamed of Tem. I have said he was already dead to
—
me, and that was true I had given up all hope. But
that didn't stop me from remembering our short
time together. There had been one night in particu-
lar, when we had taken the ram jet to Hawaii —
thirty-minute flight —
and scuba dived off Maui
under the full moon. The reef was alive with fish
and turtles and we stayed in the water half the
night. When we finally returned to the shore we
were so exhausted that we fell asleep on the sand.
When the sun came up the next morning, it woke
me before Tem. I remember how I leaned over and
30
stared at his sleeping face and listened to his
rhythmic breathing. I kissed his cheek and whis-
pered in his ear.
"I'm going to see you again, after this week," I
said. "I don'tknow how, but I will, Tern. I swear it.
You're not getting away from me."
He just went right on sleeping.
Now I saw it was me who went right on dream-
ing.
9
Christmas Day I sat in the dimly lit viewing area
and stared at the distant sun. I did not need a
calculator to count the passing years. We were at
our desired velocity — it was one year every hour.
Tern was turning into a wrinkled old man before
my eyes. Even if I couldn't see him.
This was the big time. Our graviton drive was off.
All our instruments were aimed at earth, monitor-

ing how society was changing. I was ignoring my
job as a sociologist, but I knew I could always
31
CHRISTOPHER PIKE
analyze the data later. If I ran to the control room it
was even possible final message from

I'd receive a
Tern. He'd be But I had promised
in his nineties.
him I wouldn't cheat on our promise to each other.
I could only read his last message — if there was
one — when I was an old lady.
I sat in the control room all Christmas Day. Tern
must have aged twenty-four years in the process.
—
He must have died my present from Santa.
My grief, that day, was terrible.
Yet I did not feel him die.
10
The week passed. By New Year another century
had gone by. For some reason I got sick that week. I
lay in my quarters and stared at the ceiling and
burned with fever. Maybe it was my infected finger.
I didn't care. My father visited me once, but I still
had nothing to say to him.

I kept Tern's lock of hair pressed to my heart.
32
11
—
We had hardly begun to decelerate our velocity
was a fraction less than it had been Christmas
Day — when we were attacked. We did not face the
onslaught alone. Wave upon wave of black ships
first and Mars
assaulted the earth, then the lunar
colonies. They came out of nowhere and were far
more advanced technologically than those of
humanity's. We were still experiencing time dila-
tion, so we observed the entire battle on earth in
less than an hour, although mankind did fight for
several bitter days. The aliens had very powerful
energy weapons and just wiped out humanity. Like
they could have cared less. When they were fin-
ished, earth glowed with radioactive poison.

They sent only a small vessel after us.
They radioed ahead. They called themselves the
Shamere and wanted us to surrender or else they —
—
made it very clear we would be destroyed.
33
CHRISTOPHER PIKE
I sat on the bridge with my father as the Shamere
ship approached.
I don't think he even knew I was there, at first.
The alien vessel looked like a black thorn, tipped

with blood.
My vision had not cleared since earth had been
incinerated.
I was beyond tears. It was too much, by five
billion lives.
"They didn't spare anyone else," my father said.
"Why don't they just open fire on us and end it?"
"They may want to study our ship before they
kill us," Number One — Kabrina's father — said.
"Our ship is two hundred years older than anything
they encountered over earth."
"They didn't study any of earth's ships," my
father replied. "What else could they want?"
"Specimens," Number One said. "To study. To
display. To dissect."
My father frowned. The was not heavily
Traveler
armed, so he didn't have a lot of options. We had a
hundred antimatter missiles, two massive graviton
disrupters —
each of which was capable of pulveriz-
ing a large asteroid to dust. But from what we had
seen of the battle over earth, our weapons would be
smoke blowing against their protective shields.
Nevertheless, my father didn't want to go down
without a fight.
"Arm missiles," he ordered. "Lock on disrupt-

ers."
34
"Wait," I said.
My father glanced over at me. "You shouldn't be
here."
"What does it matter if we're all about to die?" I
stood and addressed my father and Number One.

"Let them board us. They'll be less likely to blow us
out of the sky with their own people in our midst."
"You assume they will board us," Number One
said.
I shrugged. "We have nothing to lose."
My father considered. "I lean toward Number
One's theories. It might be better to die than live
and go through what they have planned for us."

"It's possible they know that we are a ship out of
time," I said. "They might be curious about our
past. They might not harm us."

"Curiosity does not appear to be a dominant
trait in this race," Number One said. "They didn't
even give earth a chance to surrender. They came in

firing."
"But they are giving us a chance." I added, "It's
better to decide for life than death."

My father stood up from and strode to
his seat
the large forward viewing screen. The Shamere
vessel was within range of our weapons. Not that it
mattered much, from the alien's perspective. They
were safe behind their impenetrable shields. My
father stared hard at the alien vessel. He looked old
right then.
"Signal them that we surrender," he said finally.
35
CHRISTOPHER PIKE
"Captain!" Number One said, shocked.
My father raised his hand. "We can appear to
surrender. It might buy us time."
"To do what?" Number One asked.
"To search for weaknesses," my father answered.
"To find an opening. To attack." He glanced at me.
He had appreciated my earlier comments. He
didn't have to say so for me to know. "Give me
another idea of what they might want from us?"
I, too, stared at the approaching ship. Somehow,
it reminded me of my infected finger. It was as if
the aliens were a virus in the body of humanity. Yet

that made no sense because they had for all practi-
calpurposes just lopped off the host body's head.
But something about the approaching ship
seemed familiar.
I frowned. "I think they are personally interested
in us. Don't ask me why. It's just a feeling I get."
36
12
The Shamere accepted our surrender, on the sur-
face. They sent an order that they would indeed be
boarding, and that all but the captain of our ship
was to go to his or her quarters. The Shamere said
that anyone who was not in quarters would be
executed on sight. My father told everyone, includ-
ing myself, to comply, but I refused to obey. This
angered my father. He paced uneasily as we waited
on the bridge for the Shamere to reach us. Six of
them had already entered our aft airlock. I had only
caught a glimpse of them in the monitors. Although
humanoid in shape, they were ugly critters.
"Paige," my father said. "If we know nothing else
about these aliens, we know they are murderers.
You have to get out of here."
"I'm not afraid of them."
"That doesn't matter. They'll kill you."
"They're probably going to kill all of us anyway."
37
CHRISTOPHER PIKE
He stopped pacing. "I could have you thrown out
of here."
"You would have to do it yourself." I paused. "I
think you need me by your side. I make better
decisions than you."
He smiled, despite his anger. "Your mother used
to say that."
"I am my mother's daughter." I paused. "And
my father's." I caught his eye. "I am sorry. My
demand was unworthy. It was just that I ... I was
in so much pain."
"I accept your apology." He studied me. "How
are you now?"
I shrugged and gestured in the direction of our
dead earth. "My individual feelings seem unimpor-
tant right now. Do you think the Shamere know
about our star colonies?"
"Probably. They could all be wiped out already."
I had to put a hand to my head. "So this is it?
Humanity is finished?"
"It doesn't look good, Paige."
I nodded weakly. "How about earth? How long
will she be radioactive?"
"Millions of years. All life has been destroyed
there, down to the tiniest virus."
"Could it return? Is it possible?"
He sighed. "I honestly don't know." He pointed
to a lit purple button on the compact control panel
attached to the arm of his command chair. "I have
rigged the ship to explode. If for some reason I
38
"

can't get to that button, and the situation looks bad,
you
—
"I understand," I interrupted. I glanced at the
monitors, studying the Shamere as they hurried
through our corridors. Without being given direc-
tions, they knew where our bridge was. That puz-
zled me. It was not easily spotted from the outside.
The Shamere had large heads, shrunken bodies.
Their skin was a ghastly white, terribly wrinkled.
They moved with effort, unnaturally, as if it took
all their energy to balance their heads on their
scrawny necks and torsos. They had large slobbery
mouths, massive solid-blue eyes that glistened with
a cold light. They wore gold-colored space suits,
and carried deadly looking energy weapons. They

moved surprisingly fast for short-limbed creatures.
"What do you think of them?" my father asked.
"They look cruel and smart," I said. "A bad
combination."
My father nodded. "I have to say it again. You
may have only a minute left to live. They said they
would execute the first person who disobeyed
them."
I forced a smile. "I'll try to charm them with my
good looks and biting wit." I paused. "My life has
been good. I have no regrets,"
"I know that's not true, and that I am responsible
for many things you were not able to do. But I'm
happy, at least, that you knew love once in your
life."
39
CHRISTOPHER PIKE
His words touchedme deeply. "I knew it twice,
silly.Remember, I met you first."
He, too, seemed moved by my comment. He
reached over and squeezed my hand. Nothing like
the end of the world to bring a father and daughter
together, and I don't mean that cynically. Our
conversation would never have taken place without
the absolute horror of the situation.
My father and I stood as they neared our door.
I had the lock of Tern's hair pinned inside my
uniform, near my heart.
The door opened and the monsters poured in.
The six entered together. One wore a green jewel
on his suit. He appeared to be the leader. He had
more hair than the rest; a red stubble on top of a
wrinkled white skull. He gestured with his weapon
to my and spoke in passable English, in a
father
voice thick with mucus and arrogance. Where had
he learned? Perhaps the aliens had been observing
us for years before their attack.
"You are the captain of this vessel?" he asked.
"Yes." My father stepped forward and offered his
hand. "I'm Captain Karl Christian. This is my
daughter, Paige Christian."
The Shamere did not accept my father's hand.
His hard eyes were on me. The rest of the Shamere
had fanned out around us. They held their weapons
ready, not exactly trusting types.
"What is she doing here?" the leader demanded.
"I help him run this ship," I said. "He would be
lost without me."
40
"She is my First Officer," my father said quickly.
"Iassumed you would want to speak to both of us."
The Shamere leader took a step toward me,
eyeing me up and down. He had bad breath; it
smelled as if he had just eaten a small child. He
would be capable of it, I knew. His expression was
hard to fathom, but he obviously did not like me.
He poked my ribs with the muzzle of his weapon.
"You are no First Officer," he said. "You are a
child."
I pushed aside his weapon. "And you are a guest
aboard this ship. Where are your manners?"

The Shamere leader glanced at his partners. He
slowly grinned —a disgusting gesture — and they
grinned with him. They all slobbered on the breasts
of their gold suits.
"You are as our records show," he said in his

nauseating voice. "Intellectually inferior and psy-
chologically unstable."
I snorted. "I'd rather have a lower IQ than have a
fat head like yours."
My father stepped between us, clearly worried
that was about to be eviscerated in front of him.
I
"Perhaps the Shamere leader would like to discuss

the terms of surrender?" he said hastily.
The alien leader's big blue eyes continued to
linger on me. But his grin had faded. "There are no
terms. You You will order your
are our prisoners.
crew to begin boarding our ship immediately."
My father was not pleased. Slowly, he moved in
the direction of his command chair and the purple
41
CHRISTOPHER PIKE
button. It was only three steps away; he had stayed
intentionally close to it.
"That's not acceptable," he said. "Before my

people move to your ship, I must have a guarantee
that they will be treated properly as prisoners of
war."
The Shamere leader pointed his weapon at my
father's chest. "Your people will be treated as any
inferior species is. With scorn and contempt."
My father's eyes flashed on the purple button,
back to the Shamere commander. "Why do you
have such contempt for us?" he asked. "What did
we ever do to you?"
The alien's expression was hateful. "It disgusts
us to know you still live."
"Still?" I said. "Has our race encountered yours
before?"
The alien group grinned as a whole. Except for
thecommander. His hate only deepened. He ap-
proached me once more. Already it was decided
between my father and me. Things were as bad as
they could get. My father had to reach that button.
Better we die with dignity, I thought, and take a few
of these monsters with us. The leader put a smelly
hand on my shoulder and stared into my eyes. It
took all my will power to meet his gaze. Finally, I
felt the terror of what we were up against. In that
moment I heard the screams of the billions who
had perished on earth. They echoed in the dark
part of my soul.
42
"You do not know who we are, do you?" he said.
"You do not know where we come from."
"I'm curious about your origin," I said, straining
to keep my voice even. "I would be happy to listen

to a description of your home world."
That caused the group to laugh. The leader even
smiled, but it was a cold gesture. He brushed my
hair aside with the tip of one of his slimy fingers.
"You would not be happy, Paige," the leader
said. And it was only then that I realized that the
alien was a female. I don't know how I knew
—
it maybe it was something in the voice. Certainly
there was power in her tone. It was hypnotic and
pushed me into portions of my mind that I did not
consciously wish to enter. Yet it wasn't as if I
flashed on traumatic memories. The present mo-

ment was more horrible than anything I could
dredge up from the past. But as the alien stared at
me, I thought of the woman who had steered me in
the direction of Rainbow Park a week before we left
earth. The person who, in a sense, had led me to
Tern.
The Shamere leader reminded me of this woman.
Curious.
I gathered my and sneered. "You know,
strength
the more you more inferior you sound.
talk, the
You have your powerful energy beams, sure, and

your impenetrable shields. But you have no breed-
ing. It doesn't matter that you've wiped us out.
Some higher race will come along soon and smash
43
CHRISTOPHER PIKE
your ugly faces into the dirty end of the Milky Way.
Oh, and get your slimy hand off me." I pushed the
alien's finger aside. "You're messing up my uni-
form." I paused and spoke softly, still holding the
alien's eye. "Father."
My father leapt for the purple button.
The Shamere leader's reflexes were extraordi-
nary.
In a flash she turned and leveled her weapon at
my There was a burst of blue
father's midsection.
light, My face was
followed by an explosion of red.
splattered with hot blood and gross tissue. I turned
away in horror, but not before I saw enough to
know that my father was no more. I felt a strong
hand grab my arm, a hard weapon put to my ear.
"Take this one to my ship now," the Shamere
leader said. "We will open her up, and see why she
is the way she is."
44
13
The alien who grabbed me, however, did not lead
me to one of the Traveler's airlocks. Instead he took
me back into the engineering section, down into the
bowels of the graviton drive, where few of us ever
ventured, even when the power was off. Now the
engines were on full; their throbbing displacement
waves and full spectrum emissions overwhelmed
my already deranged senses. My hair stood on end
and my eyes rapidly blinked as we hurried down a
long hallway that directly overlooked the energy
center of the Traveler.
But still soaked with my father's blood and
numbed by the suddenness of his death, I hardly
cared where we were going. We were doomed. I saw
no hope anywhere. I just wanted a quick shot to my
head. I just wanted the pain to stop, for there to be
nothing. No earth, no Paige, no father, no Tern.
Oblivion; I longed to touch it.
This alien, though, stopped and spoke to me. He

45
CHRISTOPHER PIKE
had released my arm and was no longer pointing
his weapon inmy face.
"This vessel cannot fight a Shamere warship," he
said. "The highest level of human technology is
presently two levels below that of our own. There is
no hope in staying here, in this time, and fighting
us." He shook me with his slimy hands. "Do you
understand?"
"Sure do," mumbled. "Who cares?"
I
He spoke with urgency. "You must care, Paige

Christian. You do not understand what has hap-
pened to your people. You do not understand why
it had to happen. But that understanding is not for
now. It will come in the eons to follow. You must go

on. This ship and your friends must survive."
I rubbed my eyes and tried to get a fix on him.
"Are you a good alien or what? Why are you telling

me these things?"
In response he pulled a large glowing emerald
crystalfrom his suit pocket. The thing was as bright
as the graviton engines. I had to shield my eyes
from it, although the light was fascinating in its

richness of color and the rhythm with which it
pulsed.
"This is a source of great power," he said. "I am
going to infuse it into the plasma stream of your
graviton drive. I am familiar with your propulsion
systems. The elements are compatible, and there
will be no explosion. Your drive will immediately
displace a gravity wave a thousand times what this
vessel normally does. That will boost your speed so
46
meaning
close to that of light that time will lose all
aboard this vessel. But from the Shamere ship's
point of view, it will be as if you disappeared. Do
you understand?"
I was beginning to. This ugly duck was offering us
a way out. Why?

"If we displace that much gravity," I said, "we
won't be able to decelerate without a similar dis-
placement." I nodded to the green crystal. "Do you
have any extras?"
"Yes." He turned. "I will give them to you in a
moment. But right now I must boost the plasma.
There is not much time. Stay here while I move to
the core opening. You will be safe here. The radia-

tion will not harm you."
I grabbed his arm. "Why
you helping us?"
are
He held my eye a moment. Once again, I had a
feeling of power, a dizzying moment of deja vu. But
this time I sensed love. I didn't doubt this creature.
"You will understand when you need to under-
stand," he said. "The pattern is already estab-
lished. The vector converges — it has to be this
way."
"But," I began.
But he was gone, into the elevator that would
take him down into regions of the graviton drive
that humans did not dare enter without heavy
protection. It occurred to me then, as I waited for
him to reach the plasma stream, that when he
displaced the gravity wave, he would have no way
47
CHRISTOPHER PIKE
to get back to his ship. Time would fly at a
miraculous rate. His ship would only exist in the
past.
I could see the alien down below as he emerged
from the elevator. We were separated by a transpar-
ent barrier that absorbed the majority of the harm-
ful radiations that the engines emitted. But he was
on the other side of the barrier. He was still flesh

and blood, even if the particulars of his physiology
were different from mine. I did not believe he
would survive the operation on our drive.
He waved to me as he moved toward the plasma
stream.
I saw him open the core and place the crystal
inside.
The engines went insane. The noise was deafen-
ing, the light blinding. I did not physically feel the
acceleration, of course — the pressure of it would
have crushed me if it had been allowed to affect the
interior of the ship. But I sensed our velocity.
Outside, I could feel the stars age. I did not have to
see them.
In the midst of it all, I saw a shadow run toward
me down the long corridor the friendly alien had
just dragged me. It was the Shamere leader, who
held her weapon in front of her like a bayonet.
Before I could even get off a warning shout, the
leader had her weapon raised and was taking aim at
her partner. In the effulgent storm a blue beam
carved down from our precarious ledge. The death
48
beam tore through a portion of the protective
barrier. It burned into the friendly alien's chest. It
destroyed the extra emeralds he carried in his
pockets. Yet these did not explode. They simply
died with their owner.
Two bloody deaths in succession. I couldn't even
cry.
The Shamere leader pointed her weapon at me.
She smiled. Murder was her pleasure.
Then she erupted in red flame as a laser tore into
her back.
Her howls echoed, mingling with the screams of
the graviton drive.
She toppled in a messy lump. She smoked; she
stank.
Number One and his daughter, Kabrina, ran to
my side.
"Are you all right?" Kabrina cried.
I hugged her. "Yes. But where are the other
aliens?"
Number One holstered his laser. "We killed
them. Not all of us sat quietly in our quarters." He
paused. "Your father . .
."
"He's dead," I whispered.

Kabrina held on to me. "We know."
"But what about the Shamere warship?" I asked.
We had to return to the bridge to answer that
question.
As my alien had promised, we had escaped. The
warship was in the past. We were at ninety-nine-
point - nine - nine - nine - nine - nine - nine - nine - nine -
49
CHRISTOPHER PIKE
nine — the nines went on forever — the speed of
light. The chronometer spun madly. Every second
that went by aboard our ship — a thousand years
went by outside. We were not even allowed to savor
the miracle of our release. If we could not stop
ourselves, somehow slow our speed, there would be
no time for anything, joys or sorrows.
The entire universe would simply run out of
time.
14
Several of our days had elapsed since our encounter
with the Shamere. We had cremated the dead —
shocking total of twenty-eight. The Shamere sol-
diershad not gone down without a fight, killing

many of the crew. The aliens we had also burned, in
the fires of our engines, except for the commander's
body. was put into cold storage, for future
It
examination. But the ashes of my father and the

five monsters trailing behind us merged in a long
50
tail as cold as it was dark. Starlight, Stardust ... I
think I may, I think I must.

I missed my father a great deal.
I missed Tern. Always.
I sat in the observation deck and stared at the
earth through our main telescope, which was capa-
ble of picking out minute details on the planet even
from this distance. Many millions of years had
elapsed since the devastating attack. Finally the
radiation had ceased to glow. Yet, even though the
oceans were as blue as ever, the puffy clouds white,
there was no hint of green on the land. The
Shamere had burned the seeds of all future gesta-
tion. The earth was barren.
In my hand I had a printout from my personal
computer file.
Tern's seventh letter.
Paige,
By the time you get this letter, I'll probably
be dead. For that reason, this letter is particu-
larly hard to write. Almost, I hear the funeral

organ playing mournfully behind you, and I
want to say something to comfort you. I am
torn between describing how rich life is on
earth, and how miserable I am without you.
But I will do neither. I will say what I can. I
was not asleep that morning in Hawaii, when
we lay on the beach together. I heard what you
whispered to me, about how I wasn 't getting
51
CHRISTOPHER PIKE
away from you. Paige, I need to tell you this. I
hope a part of you understands.
You were right.
Your eternal friend.
Tern
According to my promise, I was supposed to

write him back. But I didn't know what to say to a
ghost who had been would never die. I felt
sure he
an uncaring uni-
like the spirit then, set adrift in
verse where there were everlasting souls, but no
God. I thought of God as I held the letter and
stared at the earth. I wondered, in all that had
happened, where he could be. I wondered how he
could be, to exist and yet allow the Shamere to
destroy our world. The stars had shifted dramati-
cally since we'd departed. Some had already begun
to dim. The old constellations were gone, the
ancient myths forgotten. My faith in God was in
shambles.
But maybe he knew that.
52
15
I was in the garden the following day with Kabrina
when it started. Once again, we were pruning the
rose bushes. I was careful of the thorns; my right
thumb continued to fester with its mild infection. I
had let the doctors treat it but their medicines had

no effect. Not that it mattered now. We were talking
about Tern's letter.
"But you must write him back," Kabrina said.

"That's the point of it all. That you keep your
relationship alive in your heart. That's why he

made you promise him to write."
"I know that," I replied, facing her so that she
could understand me. "I suppose I will write him. I
just feel stupid trying to send the letter to him. You

know, I have to go up to the bridge and hand it to
the communication officer on duty and tell him or
her, 'Yeah, it's a letter for my dead boyfriend. Can
you be sure to get it off this afternoon?' " I shook
53
CHRISTOPHER PIKE
my head. "All the other letters I sent, at least Tern
was alive then."
"No love is ever lost/' Kabrina said casually.
Then she paused and her eyes seemed to sparkle,
for an instant. Standing rock still, she spoke in an
exceptionally clear voice. "Love is eternal. It is the
very matter of the Creation."
I glanced over. "That's very poetic."
"Yes." Then she became still again, and once
more her voice was clearer than usual. "Poetry is
the language of the soul. Silence is the song."

I smiled. "You're in a philosophical mood."
Kabrina appeared puzzled. "There's something
here."
"What?"
"There's a presence here."
I set down my shears and stepped to her side.
"What are you talking about?"
She stared at me with unfocused eyes. "I feel
something wants to communicate with us."

She was making me nervous. "You're kidding?"
"No. I feel it. Don't you feel it?"
The truth is I did feel something, some presence.
Presence was an apt word; this "thing" definitely
was not physical, even though the hairs on the back
of my head tingled with electricity. It was as if a
wave had swept over me. There was a lightness in
the air, an unlooked for joy. Kabrina slowly sat on
the grass, as if pressed down by invisible fingers. I
knelt beside her as she closed her eyes.
"Ask me questions," she said.
54
Kabrina was deaf. If I asked, and her eyes were
closed, she would know nothing. I touched her arm
to indicate the trouble, but she shook me off.
"Ask," she said, her voice still much clearer than
usual. "Don't worry about the ears."
I drew in a shaky breath. "Can you hear me?"
"Not with the ears. But we hear you."

I gasped. "Oh God."
"That could be a word for what we are, but it is
not a word we prefer. It means too many things to

different people. Call us the Creation. We are one
with it, you are. The only difference
as is we realize
that, and you do not."
"Kabrina!" I exclaimed.
"What?"
"Why are you saying these things? How can you
hear me?"
Kabrina frowned. "I cannot hear you. But I
know what you are saying."

"How?"
"This presence knows. Let's just talk to it for a
moment, and what it has to say."
see
"But does it put you in a trance?"
"No." Then her voice grew stronger. Kabrina
had switched gears. She was no longer speaking; at
least the thoughts expressed were not her own.
"This is higher telepathy. No trance is required.
This individual communicate with us
is able to
directly. This individual will is not compromised.
There is no danger. In fact, for her to be with us,
enriches both of you." A pause. "You feel better?"
55
CHRISTOPHER PIKE
I did feel better. More energetic, yet calmer.
"Yes," I said. "Who are you?"
"We are not individual as you understand indi-
viduality. Yet we have individual qualities. A wave
rises on an ocean. For a time, it can be seen. It is
still the ocean and yet it is separate from it as well.
This communication is like that. Individuality is

assumed for the sake of this relationship. Yet it is in
reality the ocean of Creation that speaks to you."
"Why? Why speak to us?"
"We are bound to you with a thread of love. This
relationship exists only because of love. Indeed, the
Creation is nothing but love."
"I can't believe this is happening," I muttered.
"Kabrina, you must be joking with me."
"She does not hear with physical senses. She
hears with her heart. Feel with your heart and you
will know this communication is genuine." A
pause. "What do you feel, Paige Christian?"
My eyes were damp, and I struggled with the
warmth that continued to grow inside my chest.
"Gratitude."
"Very good. Grace flows where there is gratitude.
That is why the words are similar. Grace is the love
of the Creation for the created. Grace is the essence
of our relationship with you. We are here to serve."
"But who are you? Are you alien beings?"
"No. We are the same as you. We are the Cre-
ation, you are the Creation. We are all things. But
once, we were like you in the sense that once we did
not know we were the Creation. We were thirsty fish
56
swimming in an ocean, searching for a drink.
Where is the ocean? we would say to ourselves. We
had heard so much about it. We even built temples
to people whom we believed had once seen the
ocean. We turned them into prophets, then we
fought amongst ourselves over which prophet was
right and which was wrong." A pause. "You are that
fish. You exist in an ocean of joy and yet your
sorrow reaches even to us. Tell us, why are you so

sad?"
"But you must know. You seem to know every-
thing about us."
"We know. We understand. We are here to give
you understanding, if you desire it. What is it you
desire, Paige Christian?"
I had to lower my head. "You mean, what do I
wish for most of all?"

"Yes."
I shrugged. "There was this guy I once knew. I
would give anything to see him again." I stopped.

"But I'll never see him. He's dead."
"This is Tern?"
"Yes. You know of him?"
"Yes."
I struggled. "What can you tell me about him?"
"It is better we talk of you than him, of your
desire to see him. Do you want to hear a deep
secret?"
"Yes."
"What you most wish for, what you most hope
for — that is your greatest illusion. The greatest
57
CHRISTOPHER PIKE
barrier that separates you from the Creation." A
pause. "We understand this idea will be controver-
sial. People say hold on to your dreams, wish upon
the brightest star, and that is fine at a certain point
along the path. You struggle to accomplish your
dreams —
it seems they never come true unless you
struggle.But then the night slowly begins to fade.

The light of day begins to dawn. The time for
dreaming passes. It is then you must leave them
behind." A pause. "You cannot know true joy when
you are bound by desire. It is not possible."
I struggled to respond. The concepts were over-
whelming. They me like waves crashing upon
hit
rocks. I felt a lump in my throat as I tried to explain
about Tern.
"I didn't ask to love him," I said. "I just do. But I
don't want to give up this love. You say love is all
there is. I feel it is all I have left of him, my feelings

for him."
"We understand. Yet you cannot see the true
light of the Creation while you wear dark glasses of
illusion. Tern is not dead. There is no death. Only
the form has changed. The essence remains as it

always was — a wave dissolving into the ocean."
"I wish I could believe that."
"Another wish, Paige Christian? You can trust
us.We are fishermen. We know when to throw out
our when to draw them back in. We are drawn
nets,
to you." A pause. "Tem is happy."
"I hope so." I swallowed before continuing. "You
58
must know our predicament. We are stranded in
space and time. We can't slow down. All around us,
the universe is running down. If we don't stop soon,
we fear it will all be over." I added, "We're so alone
out here."
"You are not alone. We are here. Others of your
kind are also around."
My hand flew to my mouth. "You mean there are
other survivors of humanity?"
"Yes."
"Other star systems survived?"
"The ones we speak of are much closer than
another star."
"Where are they?" I asked.
"Look and you will find them."
I trembled with excitement. Why? It was just a
voice speaking, speaking with my best friend's
vocal cords. Yet I knew in my heart it was much
more than that. There was power in the words.
There was love in the silence that vibrated between
the sentences.
"I will have to think about what you have said," I
"Whoever you are."

replied.
"Think for seven of your days. It is then we will
return. Hopefully, by then, all your people will
gather to hear what we have to say."
"I don't think anyone will gather. I don't think
anyone would believe this story, other than
Kabrina and myself."
"You will be surprised then."
59
16
Seven days later the entire crew of the Traveler was
gathered in the garden to hear the Creation speak
through Kabrina. My best friend was hooked up to
a microphone and a speaker system, although I sat
at her knee on the grass and would be able to hear
the words as they came out of her mouth. The
others had come because already one of the predic-
tions of the Creation had come true.
We were not alone. Maybe.
After our cosmic encounter, Kabrina and I had
rushed to see her father. Of course he didn't believe
a word of our story, especially since Kabrina was
unable to duplicate her newfound hearing ability.
Number One saw it more than an

as nothing
elaborate prank, even though Kabrina was not
known as a joker.
"But I didn't plan any of this," Kabrina said. "I
was just standing in the garden when I felt a wave of
energy sweep over me. It was peaceful but power-
60
fill. Then, when I closed my eyes, I just knew what
Paige was asking me."
Number One smiled. "She was asking you.
You're both old enough not to be indulging in
fantasies. There was no one else there. There
couldn't be."
"But her eyes were closed," I insisted. "And the
words were unlike anything Kabrina would say.
Even her voice was clearer."
Number One lost his smile and shook his head.
"Listen to yourselves. You're essentially saying that
God wants to help us. Well, there is no God. The
only help we're going to get is from ourselves."
"They never said they were God," I protested.
Kabrina lowered her head in disappointment. "I
wouldn't lie to you, Father. Not about something
like this."
"I'm not calling you a liar," Number One said.
"When I used to come to my father with a
difficult proposition," I said, "he would often scoff
at me. But at least he would check it out, to see if

there was even a one-in-a-thousand chance that I
might be right." I paused. "You're our captain now.
What are you going to do?"
He regarded me critically, then sighed. "I sup-
pose I could go into the monitor records to see what
my daughter said and how she said it."
I nodded. "You'll be impressed."
61
17
Number One was puzzled after studying the re-
He could
cording. see on the tapes that Kabrina
had been sitting with her eyes closed when I
questioned her.
"Did you two set this up ahead of time?" he
demanded.
"No," we both said.
"Well, what am I supposed to do with this
information?" he asked.
"We should look for another ship," I said.
"Where? Out here? That's ridiculous."
"Why?" I asked. "Earth could have launched
another ship into a time dilation. Why do we have
to be the only one."
"They may have launched another ship. Another
one was planned."
I gasped. "My father never said anything about
that."
"It was classified as sensitive information,"
62
Number One said. "He wasn't permitted to talk
aboutit, nor was I. It doesn't matter anyway. The
Shamere surely destroyed the vessel, if it did exist."

"How can you say surely when we escaped de-
struction?" I asked. "Perhaps a friendly alien
helped this other ship as well."
Number One shook his head. "Assuming there
—
was another ship it was only in the planning
stages. Assuming the Shamere did help it somehow
— it probably won't exist now. We were accelerated
into this insane time dilation by sheer chance. I'm
sure the Shamere who helped us meant to take us
out of it immediately. I don't know if either of you
has properly grasped how much time has elapsed in
the normal universe since that battle. If there was
another ship, if it did escape destruction, it would
be gone now. There would be no point in contact-
ing it."
"Our velocity is still high, but we are no longer

accelerating," I said. "Our instruments are unob-
structed. We have nothing else to do out here. We
may as well search for it."
"Because some kind of super beings talking
through my daughter says we should?" he asked
with a trace of sarcasm.
"You forget, Father," Kabrina said. "They didn't
us we had to do anything. They just gave us the
tell
information." She paused. "I don't think they

would have told us that if our people were all
dead."
63
18
Seek and you shall find. The spirits had spoken. But
it that easy. We were traveling ridiculously
was not
fast.Every day, from an outsider's perspective, we
circled the solar system thousands of times. Our
mass was that of a giant sun. If anything lay in our
path —
comets or asteroids or the remains of once
living worlds — it was obliterated. But space is
bigger than the human mind can comprehend,

vaster than mortal imagination can visualize. We
did not have to worry about hitting something. But
we did have to strain to find something. Particular-
ly if it was only circling the solar system a few
dozen times a year. Number One explained this to
us on the bridge after he had completed a detailed
scan of the immediate vicinity.
"Our instruments are not distorted due to the
functioning of our drive," he said. "But they are
greatly handicapped by our speed. We fly out of an
area almost the instant we try to obtain a sensor
64
reading." He consulted his monitors. "The come-
tary cloud still exists. There are many ship-size
objects following a similar orbit to ours, but there is
no way we be able to examine any of those

will
objects close enough to see if one's artificial."
An idea occurred to me. "You're using only
sensors to find it?"
"Of course," Number One said. "What else
would we use?"
"How about the radio?" I asked.
He smiled and spoke in a condescending tone.
"We constantly monitor all known radio bands,
Paige. That is standard procedure."
"I know that," I"But radio sent at what
said.
frequency? I mean, rather, at what rate of time
dilation? This other ship could be experiencing one
tenth our time distortion, or one millionth. We
have to adjust our instruments, have them scan
through each possible level of velocity. They could
be trying to contact us now, but their message
might be a thousand times too slow for us to pick
up."
Number One was impressed. "An interesting
suggestion. But such a scan, through millions of
possible time dilation scenarios, would take time,
even for our computers,"
"We have time," I protested.
Number One shook his head and pointed to the
main viewing screen. The sun had dimmed and
taken on a faint reddish hue.
"It has begun to expand," he said.
65
CHRISTOPHER PIKE
"You mean it has begun to die?" I asked. That
the sun, our sun, could perish did not seem possi-
ble.
"Yes," Number One said. "Still, throughout the
Milky Way, new stars are being born. But not
many. And the old ones, like our sun, are fading
fast." He paused. "Time is the one thing we don't
have in abundance."
Nevertheless, he initiated the scan.
19
On the seventh day, the supposed number of days it
had taken God to create the made
contact. The signal was simple
— "Hello, weanyone
universe,
is
there?" It repeated at hourly —

intervals to us. It
was probably being sent out every microsecond. We

lowered the speed of our message several thou-
sandfold and beamed a reply. But we got no
response. The message was clearly automated.
The news of it swept through the Traveler.
But it was bittersweet news.
66
"Their ship is intact," Number One said. "But
they must all be dead."
"I don't think we can make that assumption," I
said.
"Can we make another?" Number One asked.
"Clearly this other vessel, wherever it is, has only a
fraction of our time dilation. That being the case,
the occupants must have already experienced thou-
sands of years since the Shamere attack."
"But there were extensive experiments being
done on artificial hibernation when we left earth," I
said. "It's possible this new ship used that tech-
nique. Its crew might be frozen."
"When we left earth, no frozen human had ever
been successfully revived," Number One said.
"But they were getting close," I said.
"Why do you persist with this unlikely scenar-
io?" he asked.
Kabrina spoke. "You considered it unlikely that
there was another ship out here, yet the beings we
spoke to predicted it. These same beings implied
the people aboard were still alive. That is why Paige
persists in being illogical —
she has faith." Kabrina
paused. "Do you, Father? They said they would
return today. Don't you want to hear what they
have to say?"
Number One considered. He reached for a but-
ton that would broadcast a message throughout the
entire vessel.
"I will inform the crew we have visitors," he said.
67
20
So we sat in the garden and waited for the highly
evolved beings who were one with the Creation to
speak to us. Kabrina sipped from a glass of water
before closing her eyes and taking several deep
breaths. had to wonder, with so many people
I
gathered, what would happen if nothing happened.

But my fears proved groundless. Moments before
Kabrina said a word, the feeling of presence re-
turned. It swept like a hush through the scattered
audience, and I heard muttered sounds of awe.
"We come in love and peace," they said through
Kabrina. "We are the silent ones, the old ones. We
came before you, and we will come after. Our home
is a world circling the most distant star, and also a
place only an inch from the tip of your nose. We see
through your senses, although we have none of our
own. We are not physical beings, as you are, but we
were once physical. We lived and died, we loved
68
and cried. Therefore, we know you, we understand
you." A pause. "We are here to serve you."
Number One did not sitfrom his daughter.
far
"Is it all right to ask questions?" he questioned.
"Yes. Ask what you will."
Another stir went through the crowd. Everybody
knew of Kabrina's deafness. Number One had seen
her hear on the tape, but it was quite different in
person.
"How can we prove your reality to ourselves?"
Number One asked.
"Proof is a quality demanded by the intellect.
The heart does not require it. The heart knows, it
feels the truth.What do you feel as we speak?"

"Confused," Number One admitted.
"Confusion is the beginning of knowing. Cer-
taintyis the bane of wisdom. You must know that
you do not know, before you can learn. What

would you like to learn from us?"
"Are the people aboard the ship we have detected
still alive?"
"Yes."
"Are they in deep hibernation?"
"Yes."
Number One had to take a breath. Already he
was falling under the power of the unseen presence.
I understood exactly how he felt. The truth of the
beings' words was hard to reject. They simply
sounded as if they knew what they were talking
about, and it had little to do with the information
they conveyed, although that was fascinating in and
69
CHRISTOPHER PIKE
of itself. There was conviction in the air — for
believers and nonbelievers alike. Yet that was not to
say Number One had set aside his intellect.
"You understand we have no way of reaching
them unless we can slow down?" he asked.
"Yes."
"Can you tell us how to do that?" Number One
said.
"You already have the means. It was in front of

you all the time. What do you need to slow this
ship?"
"The power to counteract the acceleration
achieved by the Shamere's green crystal," Number
One said.
"You need another one of these crystals?"
"Yes. But we don't know where to get one, or
how to build one."
"The knowledge is contained in the cells of the
Shamere you keep frozen in your laboratory. Clone
her cells —
you possess the technology. Grow a new
alien commander, then ask her how to build a
crystal. She will tell you how it is done."
I noted that they referred to the alien as female,

just as had suspected.
I
"There are two difficulties with that plan," Num-

ber One said. "It will take us years to grow a
suitable clone, and we don't have much time at the
rate the universe is running down. Also, we have no
way of triggering the clone's original memories."
"You can grow the clone in a laboratory fired
70
from this vessel into a lower time dilation velocity.
You have the power to accomplish this, and the
power to recover the said laboratory. The clone will
return to you fully grown, while only a few days will
have passed."
Number One was impressed but cautious.
"Everything would have to go perfectly for us to
recover the laboratory."
"You must plan very carefully."
"But what of my second objection? How do we
recover the original's memories from the clone?"
"Paige Christian will help."
I sat up, startled. "What can I do?"
"We will do it through you. If you hold the clone,
it will talk through you."
"I'm sorry," Number One said. "You confuse
us."
"We will explain." A pause. "We speak through
the nervous system of this young woman, whom
you call Kabrina. She is an excellent receiver for
what we wish to convey. Even so, she cannot
express everything we wish because there are natu-
ral limitations in her brain, in her knowledge of the
Creation. We can take a simple example to illus-
trate this point. If we wish to use a word she does

we must chose another word." A pause.
not know,
"We know how to build the green crystal for you,
but none of you possess the requisite knowledge of
physics and chemistry and biology for us to be able
to convey the details of the crystal construction.
71
CHRISTOPHER PIKE
Therefore, we need the clone of the Shamere com-
mander. In that alien nervous system is present all
the requisite knowledge."
"Yet you said the clone will talk through Paige,"
Number One said. "Why through her?"
"You will see that she is the one. At this time, it is
not permitted for us to explain why it has to be

her." A pause. "We will return when the clone is
ready. But you may continue to question us now."

"Who does not permit you?" Number One
asked."Do you have a higher authority above
you?"
"No. We are the Creation. For us, there is no
possibility of hierarchy." A pause. "We speak out of
our own nature. We do not permit ourselves to
reveal the answer to why Paige Christian will be
able to speak for the Shamere clone once it has
been grown. But we can say the experiment will
succeed if you do everything possible to make it a
success."
"Could the experiment fail?" Number One
asked.
"Of course. It is possible. It is up to you."
"Why did one of the Shamere try to help us?"
Number One asked.
"The answer to that question will also be re-
vealed over time."
"We will know the answer once we have cloned
the Shamere commander?"
"Paige Christian will know the answer when it is
time. Others will not know."
72
"Why her again?" Number One asked.
"It is her destiny."
"Is there destiny?" Number One asked. "Or is
there free will?"

"Along the path there is free will. Once the goal is
reached the understanding dawns that everything
was destined. But a man or a woman cannot
pretend to be at the goal while still on the path. At
this time you must act as if you have free will."
"But in reality it does not exist?" Number One
asked.
"In our reality it exist. In your reality it
does not
does exist. Still, inyour reality there is destiny.
Paige Christian has a unique destiny. All aboard
this ship do. It will unfold in time, if you have the
courage to allow it."
"You speak of a path," Number One said.

"Where does this path lead?"
"To the Creation."
"But we are already in the Creation," Number
One said.
"Yes, but you are from it. You keep
also separate
yourselves separate from But we do not blame
it.
you. The parents understand the ways of the child.

But it is the parents' responsibility to teach the
child."
"Will you teach us to become one with the
Creation?" Number One asked.
"Yes. It is why we are here. To serve."
"How long will it take us to become one with the
Creation?"
73
CHRISTOPHER PIKE
"Time has no meaning on the path. The goal can
be reached in an instant, or it can take billions of
years to achieve. Each goes at his or her own speed.
But each must travel the same path, although it
may seem to take many forms. There are seven
stops along the road. We will outline them once you
have begun to decelerate, and have begun to reenter
normal time."
"Why then?" Number One asked.
"Because only then will our instruction have
value for you. Understand this point and do not
—
become agitated the Creation has gone forward
while you have stood still. You are seeds that never
saw the harvest. We are the farmers. We remember
where each seed was planted. But once, we were
also seeds. We know what it is like to be hidden in
the dark, deprived of the nourishing light of the
sun. We know your pain, and we know your capaci-
ty for joy. For us, that joy can light up the entire
Creation."
"Even as it dies?" Number One asked.
"You will see. You will be amazed."
74
21
"Will she look as ugly as before?" I asked Number
One as he prepared to jettison the pod that would
grow the Shamere commander. The pod was black
and small, only ten feet long and half that in
diameter. It looked like a coffin, not a nursery. The
shuttle itwas being fitted into was ten times that
size. It was the shuttle's job to knock even a
millionth of a point off our virtual speed of light
velocity.That would allow time aboard the shuttle
to accelerate, and our dear alien would be fully
grown in a week. I still didn't see how I was going to
help the Creation get into the monster's mind. I
just hoped I didn't have to touch the alien.
"She will look exactly as she did before," Num-
ber One said. He prepared to close the pod "Do
you want to say goodbye?"
The interior of the pod was fitted with an artifi-
cial womb. At present the Shamere commander
was a handful of cells reproducing inside a flexible
75
CHRISTOPHER PIKE
test tube. The ruined body of the commander was
still in cold storage. We had swiped only a few of its
reproductive cells, for the cloning process.
Its DNA was not unlike our own.
"I want to say good riddance," I said.
Number One smiled and closed the pod. "Ac-
cording to our super beings, this alien is our only
chance of survival."
"So you call them super beings? It's funny they
never gave us a name other than telling us to call
them the Creation."
"Perhaps they will tell us next time."
I touched Number One's arm. Even though I
continued to argue with him over everything we

did, my respect for him had grown. No one could
replace my father, but the crew looked up to
Kabrina's father, and they trusted him. I did as
well.
"Do you believe this will work?" I asked. "Re-
ally?"
He was was studying the earth
thoughtful. "I
through our main telescope today. Did you know
the oceans are gone?"
a stab of pain. "No. Will they return?"
I felt
"No. The sun continues to swell. All the water

has been burned off as vapor into space. Earth will
never have oceans again. It's brown and desolate
looking. The clouds are gone as well. But I don't
bring that up to depress you. Your question re-
minds me of how I felt staring at our world." He
paused "I didn't believe it."
76
"What do you mean?"
"I have trouble explaining it to myself. I know
the earth is dead. That's a scientific fact, and I live
by facts. But maybe these beings that speak through

Kabrina influenced me more than I realized. My
intellect tells me it's all over, but my heart has
hope."
"For what?"
He shrugged. "For us. For all of humanity."
I nodded. "I have hope, too."
But I didn't tell him what for.
22
In all this time, I had never probed my personal
computer file to see how many letters Tern had
written me. Perhaps I was afraid he had tired of
writing as the years went by, that the frequency of
the letters had dwindled, that his devotion had
died. If I was realistic, I knew he must have met
someone else, and probably gotten married. But
what was the point in being a realist when I was still
77
CHRISTOPHER PIKE
in love with him? Really, he had never died inside
me.
I had never felt him die.
I was shocked to find that there were only sixty
letters from Tern.
He had written for precisely five years, then had
stopped.
"God," I whispered as I studied the file. "Maybe
he was killed in an accident."
How much I wanted to peek ahead to see what
had been going on in his life just before the letters
stopped. But I had promised him, and I couldn't
break that promise.
/ heard what you whispered to me, about how I
wasn't getting away from you. Paige, I need to tell
you this. I hope a part of you understands . . . You

were right.
Why had he said that? The only way we could

have met again is if he had boarded the next time-
dilation ship. And that was unlikely because he had

no direct connection to the Space Federation, as I
had. His credentials would not have qualified him
for special consideration. After all, he was just a
frog specialist.
"What you most wish for, what you most hope
for — that your greatest illusion. The greatest

is
barrier that separates you from the Creation.

I tried not to think about it.
But it was all I could think about.
78
23
A week later we were all gathered in the garden. We
had our alien clone: fully grown, tied down, wired
up. She lay on the grass before Kabrina and myself.
She was as disgusting looking as her last incarna-
tion. Number One had pulled off a series of bril-
liant maneuvers to allow us to recapture the pod,
taxing the Traveler's hull in the process. We had
almost blown ourselves up, he said when we finally
had the shuttle back on board.
The alien looked neither happy nor sad to be out
of the black container, which made sense to us. As
far as human science was concerned, this clone was
a blank slate. It may have had a potentially high IQ
but its memory banks were empty. It knew nothing
of green crystals, we were quite sure, and yet it was
supposed to tell us how to build one. Through me,
of all people.
Yet the super beings had implied that its cells
knew everything.
79
CHRISTOPHER PIKE
"Am I supposed to mind meld with it or what?" I
muttered as we waited for everyone to get seated.
"That sounds kinky/' Kabrina said, her eyes
open, reading my lips.
I snorted. "For you maybe. You have to remem-

ber this is the clone of the monster who killed my
father."
"Fm sorry," Kabrina said. "I had forgotten."
"I wish I could do the same," I said softly, feeling
a spasm of pain at the memory.
Number One finished setting up the sound sys-
tem so that the rest of the crew could hear. He sat
down beside us. Naturally, every word Kabrina
and I said would be recorded. Number One ges-
tured to Kabrina and myself.
"Are you ready?" he asked.
"How do you get ready for something like this?"
I asked.
"Relax," Kabrina said. "It's a pleasant experi-
ence."
"I just don't want to have to touch it," I said for
maybe the tenth time.
We felt a hush in the air. A comforting warmth.
"Let's close our eyes," Kabrina said, closing her
own.
I had never sat with my eyes closed in the
presence of the super beings. Their power, if any-
thing, seemed magnified. I felt as if I were sliding
into a delicious bath of joy.
"We come in love and peace," they said. "We
80
understand many of you wonder what to call us.
Where we stand in the Creation, there are no
names, no words. We communicate by intention
alone. Yet we see great beauty in the spoken word,
and for that reason we will give you a name to use
to refer to us." A pause. "Alosha."
"To us, that sounds like a feminine name,"
Number One said. "Are you female?"
"No. We have no sex. But the name vibrates with
our essence. Do you like it?"
"Yes, Alosha," Number One said. "It's very
beautiful. But are you an individual? Or many? You
refer to yourself aswe?"
"The concepts have no meaning to us. We are
one. We are many. We are Alosha." A pause. "We
are here to serve."
"Can you help us obtain the knowledge of how to
manufacture the green crystals?" Number One
asked.
"Yes. We congratulate you on your technology
and daring in constructing and recovering the
clone." A pause. "Paige Christian must take the
hands of the clone in her hands."
My eyes popped open. "No way."
Number One smiled faintly and patted me on the
back. "Pretend you're stealing its knowledge in
revenge for what it stole from you."
His words struck me hard. I felt my eyes dampen.
"I still want revenge." I spoke to Kabrina, to
Alosha. "Will my desire obstruct the process?"
81
CHRISTOPHER PIKE
"No. Close your eyes and take the Shamere's
hands. You will find it an interesting experience,
Paige Christian."
I did as Iwas told. The clone's skin was wrinkled,
slimy — I had to force myself not to let go. But I
could feel Alosha's peace stealing over me once
more. Taking a few deep breaths, I began to relax
more. When they spoke next, through Kabrina, it
was as if from far away.

"That which we hate, we feel in ourselves,"
Alosha said. "That which we fear, we see in others.
But hate and fear both arise in the heart, as does
love. Hate can conquer fear, but only love can
conquer hate. You hate the Shamere in order to
protect you from your fear of them. But there is a
greater protection." A pause. "See them as not
separate from yourself. See them as family. It is
easy to love one's family."
"I can't," I whispered, although something was
happening that I couldn't explain. It was as if a
huge knot were loosening in the region of my heart.
For a moment the ghastly images of my father's
ruptured body flashed through my mind, only to be
replaced by a gentle red glow. I didn't know what I
was seeing, only that I prayed it never left me. As
the red light increased in brilliance, I felt touched
by the hand of God.
"You can. Go back, Paige Christian," Alosha
said. "In time and space. A ship floats in the void.
It is not this ship nor is it the alien vessel that
attacked you. It is another ship, and aboard it you
82
are standing staring at the stars. You know these
constellations, their relationship to the evolution-
ary plan, and you know what you have to do. The
task is not easy but you are equal to it. You have
gone through a great deal to arrive at this time and
place. You have accumulated tremendous knowl-
edge. You understand the Shamere as no one else
can. Their wealth of technology — it belongs to you.
But you are happy to share it because of your love
for the Creation, and all the creatures in it: the
Shamere as well as humanity. They are really not so
different from you when you remember all that you
have learned. The stars help you remember. That is
why you love them so much." A pause. "You have
only to think of how the crystals are manufactured,
and the knowledge is there." A pause. "You re-
member, Paige Christian?"
The words were not mere suggestions. A great
power suddenly took hold of me. A supernova of
intuition that blasted me into a realm of insight
beyond human fantasy.
I was flying through empty space. I spoke from
the other side of the galaxy.
"I remember," I whispered. And I did.
Number One asked me the details and I gave
them to him.
83
24
We now possessed a power greater than that which
drove the stars. Our carefully constructed crystals
were as strong as the Shamere's originals. Once
again our graviton drive blazed with a glory that
both exhilarated us and scared us to death. A wave
of crushing density spread out around our vessel,
and at last the Traveler began to apply the brakes.
Our mad spin around the solar system began to
slow.
We became aware of exactly where the other
starship was.
We altered our orbit to rendezvous.
Itwas now only a few hours away.
Alosha wanted to speak.
I read Tern's next letter before attending the
session. His eighth.
Paige,
As I write this letter, I know everything has
changed for you. The girl I met beside the lake
84
is gone. A mature woman stands in her place,
and she is about to confront a great mystery.
Don ask me how I know this,
't Ijust do. It is as
if your guardian angel stands at my shoulder
and whispers ancient secrets in my ear. Unfor-
tunately, she does not say what advice to give
you. I doubt there is any that can prepare you
for what you are about to go through. I just
wish I could be with you, in your future, and
hold you and tell you it will be all right.
—
I know, I'm dead now how can I give you
hope? And I know hope is not the answer.
Maybe love is. I can give you that, even now,
ever so late. I can love you and believe that my
love will find you wherever you are, and give
you strength. From the beginning, I knew you
were stronger than I am. I think that's why you
were chosen to go. Please don't regret your
choice.
Love,
Tern
I didn't understand his letter.

Not at all. But it scared me.
85
25
Kabrina sat with her eyes closed, her deaf ears
tuned to our inquiries. Outside, the earth ship grew
closer. Why couldn't Alosha wait until after dock-
ing to give us our next lesson? I decided there must
be something we needed to know to prepare us for
themomentous occasion.
"What are the seven steps along the path?"
Number One asked.
"We will begin," Alosha said, and then took a
long pause. "The first step toward the truth of the
Creation is discrimination. Discrimination be-
tween what? The real and the unreal. That is the
key element. No progress is realized until it is
achieved. Yet, when you left earth, as a people,

perhaps one in a million had achieved discrimina-
tion.That is why the destruction of earth occurred.
Ithad to occur, for your own sakes."
There was a buzz in the garden. Alosha wasn't
winning any friends this afternoon. She/he/we/it
86
was just confusing us. Number One spoke for all of
us with his next question.
"Could you please clarify?" he said.
"We understand your difficulty in accepting this
concept. Part of this is because of your misunder-
standing of the purpose of human life, and your
ideas of what is real." A pause. "Time is a ruler set
down by the Creation to measure progress. Time
allows you to have linear experiences. If there was
no time, nothing could be learned. A test must be
timed — if it is not, the test results are invalid. You
practice this in your classrooms, in your highest as
well as your lowest systems of education. In the
same way, the Creation one huge classroom. You
is
enter it to learn — you are the Creation. But

to learn
you cannot take all your lessons at once, so the
Creation divides them up for you. At least you
think they are divided. In reality you are handed
the whole textbook at once. But the pages, the
many lives you live, are turned one at a time." A
pause. "Do you understand?"
Number One frowned. "Are you talking about
reincarnation? Are you saying humanity evolves
through many lives?"
"Yes and no. There cannot be many lives when
there is no time. For us time does not exist. For you
it does exist. What is true for us is not necessarily

true for you. You may believe in reincarnation, but
we see all your lives as occurring at once." A pause.
"We must expand on this."
"Please continue," Number One said.
87
CHRISTOPHER PIKE
"Let us take the life of a soul entering time. He
dives into the Creation and at first there is much to
experience: the pleasures of the five senses; the
expansion of the intellect; the adventures of new
lands — all these things the Creation gives to the
soul. And so many lives go by in this way. He gets
married and has children. He becomes a brilliant
scientist or a foolish bum. He fights in wars and
kills many, and then he in turn is killed as he strives
to create peace. He becomes a priest and he be-
comes a prostitute, a saint and then a sinner, a
female and a male. The soul goes around and
around and he tries just about everything.
"But then one day he gets tired of it all and
begins to look for something else. This craving for
something else grows particularly strong after
many lifetimes of tragedy. You see tragedy as
something to avoid at all costs. But we see it as a
strong stimulus to develop discrimination.
"Imagine you are back in the nineteenth century.
You are a pioneer settling the wild West.The
unexplored country is beautiful but untamed. You
have your wife and children with you. You build a
fine cabin and you start to farm the surrounding
land. But then a gang of bandits storm in one night
and murder your wife and children. They burn
down your cabin and destroy your land and crops.
In one night you have lost all you have worked to
build. Your heart is broken. You cradle your dead
wife and children in your arms and you swear at
88
God for letting such a thing happen. All hope dies
inside. Everything seems worthless.
"But in that state a change takes place deep
inside you. You see that you can no longer trust in
the things of the world. They are always changing,

always dying — there is no stability there. You begin
to search elsewhere for something that does not
change. We said discrimination was knowing the
real from the unreal. We will tell you what the real
is — it is that which does not change. Many lives
make you crave it — the eternal. It is only after

many difficult trials that one seeks the path to the
Creation."
Number One interrupted. "We have religions.
People put their faith in those."

"Religion is man-made. It is not eternal. It is not
real. At first, it may relieve a soul from the horrors
of the world, but that relief does not last. It brings
no true contentment. One can join every religion
there is, yet the longing for the real does not vanish.
It does not matter if you try to convince yourself
that it has left. It continues to grow over many lives.
Where is the real? Where is the eternal? The soul
becomes obsessed to find it. Then the man rejects
all religions, all philosophies, all belief systems. He
doesn't want to believe in anything. He has no
opinions. He just craves what has always been there
from the beginning — himself. His inner self. Then,
finally, he can be said to be a seeker of the Cre-
ation."
89
CHRISTOPHER PIKE
There was a long pause. It seemed as if no one
breathed. Number One finally stirred. "We are still
confused," he said. "You said the earth had to be
destroyed for our benefit. Why? Was it to give us all
a sense of the impermanence of things?"
"Precisely.Each of you was deeply affected by
the earth's destruction. Almost overnight you de-
veloped discrimination, on a scale that could not
have been achieved had another million years
elapsed. You saw with your own eyes that nothing
was permanent. As a race you made a huge leap on
the path."
"But that makes no sense," Number One said.
"As a race we were wiped out."
"Many survived out amongst the stars. And
those many multiplied, and began to look deep
inside themselves. No longer did they put their
faith in man-made instruments or beliefs. Finally,
they desired the real — that which does not
change."
"What is the second step on the path?" Number
One asked.
"Kindness. A prophet named Jesus taught the
first two steps of the path to the Creation, but only
the first two. His gospel was simple: the kingdom of
God is inside you, and you should love your
neighbor. Love is the same as kindness. Jesus did
not say God in heaven somewhere. He pos-
is up
sessed profound discrimination, but few of his
followers did. He spoke of the need to look inside
for the real, and he spoke of the need to express the
90
real through acts of kindness. The more love a man
or woman has, the easier it is to take the third step
on the path."
"What is the third step?" Number One asked.
"You are curious?"
"Yes. We're all curious."
There was a long pause.
"We want you to consider what has been said
before we continue. We want you to meet your
friends on the other ship, and then you will natural-
ly desire to return to earth. You have a few experi-
ences left before you can move on. A couple of
them will surprise you." A long pause. "We leave
you in love and peace."
Alosha was gone. My fear was not.
I knew in my heart I had no discrimination.
I still wanted Tern, fragile human love. It was all I
wanted.
I prayed he was alive on the other ship.
91
26
The earth and already there
vessel floated before us
was a mystery. Half the ship was missing. There
were living quarters but no propulsion system.
Earth had sent it into time dilation orbit, but who
had decided it should never decelerate? Unlit ex-
cept by the distant red sun, it was a dark box filled
with either black despair or miraculous joy. I kept
telling myself I had never felt him die, that I should
have if he had died. But I knew the odds of his
being aboard the ship were a million to one.
Number One let me accompany him over in the
shuttle.
He had heard about Tern from Kabrina. He knew

about my hopes.
He gestured to the swelling bulk. Even missing
her engines, the ship was twice the size of the
Traveler. How many human Popsicles did it hold?
Five thousand? Despite Alosha's words, I had to
92
wonder how any of them could have survived over
the many millennia. Number One spoke my fears
aloud.
"This ship was placed in a high dilation orbit,"
he said. "Still millions of years have elapsed for it."
"But things do not age in space," I said.
"People are not things. Even with an advanced

hibernation system, I will be surprised if any of
them survived."
"Alosha says they are alive," I replied.
Number One was thoughtful. "I wonder if I
offended Alosha with my questions. Why were the

seven steps left incomplete, when they obviously
meant to givethem out earlier?"
I shook my head. "It was nothing you said. It was
our reaction to the information. I love Alosha, and
I did not want to accept it. Discrimination is still a
goal. The unreal still seems so real to me. I kept
thinking of that man who lost his family on the
western frontier. I don't think I could bear that."
"You have borne a great deal in the last few
months."
He was hinting that I might be on the verge of
another trauma. "I have no hope," I said as I stared
at the closing vessel. I could now read a name on
the side — the Pandora. A chill shook me from head
to toe. was familiar with the Pandora myth, how
I
many vices were unleashed on humankind. Why

had they called the ship that?
Number One nodded. "I hope you mean that."
93
27
Inside was a mass graveyard. There was no artificial
gravity. There was no air; it had been purposely
ventilated to prevent corrosion, so we assumed. We
wore space suits. The hibernaculums floated in the
inky cavern, ghosts haunting a ship that could
never sink. They were chained down, of course, but
there was so many of them, piled one on top of the
other. Our exploratory party estimated there were
at least twenty thousand.
We did a quick scan of their instrumentation.
It was still functioning. We activated their com-
puters.
There was a list of passengers.
Tern was number 13,567.
94
28
I floated by Tern's hibernaculum. I was out of my
suit. Air had been restored to the Pandora. I stared
into Tern's face plate. There was a fine layer of frost
over the glass, but I could see him: his long dark
braided hair; his powerful face; even his smile. He
had fallen asleep grinning, perhaps thinking of the
joke he had played on me by not dying. My tears, as
they dripped onto the face plate, turned to ice. That
was OK; I brushed them with my

and they
lips
melted. I was kissing him. The revival process had
just begun, but I wasn't worried. Already we had
thawed out a thousand friends and every one of
them was in excellent health.
It was just a matter of time before Tern was in my
arms again.
My joy then was a gift from God.
Number One and Kabrina came by to check on
the progress of 13,567. Kabrina could not stop
smiling, seeing how happy I was. Right then, more
95
CHRISTOPHER PIKE
than ever before, I felt gratitude for Alosha, for
making this miracle possible. So the earth was
dead, I thought.With love, we could make it bloom
again. With love, we could light up the whole
galaxy.
Number One checked the monitor on Tern's
hibernaculum.
His cheek twitched. He stared at me.
I stared back. "What's the matter?" I asked.
"There's something wrong," he said.
I froze. "There can't be anything wrong," I
whispered.
Kabrina moved up beside her father. "Is it
serious?" she asked.

Number One worked the controls on the life-
support monitor. "We're not getting a brain-wave

reading. And we should have a heartbeat by now."
"He could be taking longer than the others,"
Kabrina said.
"No." Number One removed his fingers from the
monitor controls. He turned his head to the side
and stared at nothing. How much he looked like my
father right then, when my father had told me there
was no going back home. Such an idea to ever —
return to a world of water and life suddenly —
seemed ridiculous. He didn't have to tell me.
Billions of years had gone by. I had waited through
each second of them for this moment. I had begged
to stand in this moment beside the guy I loved. But
this moment was cursed.
96
"He's dead." I paused as my voice cracked. "Is
he?"
Number One sighed. "He died a long time ago,
Paige."
29
Another week went by. We had recovered a total of
22,678 people from the Pandora. Besides Tern, only
one other had failed to revive, a woman named
Heila Derby. She had been only twenty-five years
old, about the same age as Tern. Both of them, it
seemed, had died shortly after entering their hiber-

naculums. Our engineers were still checking the
situation out, but they could find no reason for the
two deaths.
We floated toward the earth. Finally we were
back in normal time. The sun had already passed
through its red giant phase. Now it was only ten
times bigger than when we had left earth; its surface
was no longer brushing the orbit of Venus. But its
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CHRISTOPHER PIKE
light was feeble; it gave off only a hundredth the
warmth it used to. Earth was not only alone it was
cold, so very cold. Just like the rest of the universe.
Over nine billion years had passed since we left
home.
I stood on the observation deck and stared at the
sun and the earth. Our various shuttles would be

departing within an hour to land and explore the
dust and rocks that now covered the earth from
pole to pole. What we were looking for, I couldn't
imagine.
The Pandora was not just a repository of
hibernaculums. We had towed it back home with us
because it possessed large quantities of supplies,
enough, almost, to supply a budding civilization.
But I thought we should go elsewhere, and leave the
earth to rest. I had told Number One my opinion,
but like the majority of others, he hated to leave so

we had struggled so long to return.
soon, after
I understood many things. Yet I still did not
comprehend why it was so painful to learn such

simple lessons. I wondered if Alosha had halted the
seven steps because of me. My agony was tearing
me apart and still I was afraid to let it go. He was
dead; needed to let his memory go, too. That was
I
the step for me, before discrimination.

first
Yet my love was the ghost of a young girl's dream.

It walked alone in the abyss, stubbornly, where
only illusions prospered on tears and regrets. My

love had a life of its own; it was perverted but
nevertheless still vital. For that reason, I wanted to
98
return to deep space. Honestly, I would have pre-
ferred it if we had traveled forever and never
stopped at another star system. To fall into endless
blackness, that was my new fantasy.
The young girl with the ancient dream wept. I
could hear her; I even saw her tears on the glass of

the observation deck. It made me feel old. I didn't
want to know her name. I couldn't forget Tern but I

needed to forget her.
I had asked Number One for a shuttle of my own.
To return Tern to earth, and bury him where we

had met.
Within the hour, I would lay him in his grave.
"Never is a long time," I whispered as I recalled
what he had told me the day we said goodbye.
"Even for us."
99
30
Using our incredible technology, was able to find
I
the location of Rainbow Park. I even found the

precise spot beside the lake where we had met. I set
the shuttle down in what would have been the
center of the lake. After climbing out, I was forced
to wear a respirator and breathe bottled air. The air
was too thin to breathe.
How sad it all was. The sun was a swollen
pumpkin on the horizon. It looked sick an in-—
flated plastic toy left out for a Halloween where
only real monsters came knocking. Monsters who
ended up killing those who offered them candy. I
stared at the sun and couldn't believe it was the
same one that had shone over my shoulder as I
skipped down the stairs of the library that fateful
afternoon, nine billion years ago. Its sober red light
was the color of a twilight that had for too long felt
the chill of the coming night. The only trouble with
this approaching night was that it would never end.
100
I wondered then what it would be like to see the
Creation end.
I walked around the area. The red dust stirred
beneath my feet. I tasted the salt of a lost sea, and
wondered if the ocean had eventually covered the
area. The plain on which I stood was not entirely
flat. In the distance I could see pillars of stone, their
edges well worn. The wind was feeble but it had
been blowing for eons. I knew if I were to touch the
pillars, they would crumble.
I found the spot where I had met Tern. Sitting
down in the dust, I closed my eyes and clutched his

lock of hair to my heart. Try as I might, I could not
visualize the park: the grass, the water, or the trees.
But I could imagine his smile. He was still smiling
as he lay in the shuttle, a few feet away.
I stood up and fetched his body, which was no
longer frozen.
I had only a shovel. I wanted to feel the dust as I
dug.
I laid him beside the hole as I shoveled away dirt.
The work was hard and I had to rest frequently.

My mask filled with foggy sweat. I briefly removed
it and tried to breathe what was left of the earth's
atmosphere. But I ended up coughing. Still, I kept

trying to get something out of the air. I felt com-
pelled. This world was my mother. I felt I must
show her that I still needed her to live.
I was in the middle of my third coughing fit when
I felt the presence.
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CHRISTOPHER PIKE
I stopped digging and looked around.
"Hello?" I said. "If you're there, I could really
use your wonderful words. I'm not feeling that
good. The only trouble is, Kabrina's not here. And I
don't think I'm high enough to pick up the higher
telepathy."
Nobody spoke.
But I felt a compulsion to sit down and close my
eyes.
I went with it. I had nowhere else to go.
I Time passed. The thin wind rustled.
waited.
No words of wisdom came to me.
Then I heard a sound. Someone sitting up.
Someone near. I opened my eyes.
"Hello," he said.
Oh God.
102
31
He was not God but was closer to God than he was
to the Tern had once known. Just a glance at his
I
eyes and I I was not sitting beside a human

knew
being. There was a light inside him that shone from
eternity. He was the real thing —
no discrimination
was needed to see that.
But maybe I was wrong.
"Alosha," I whispered through my mask.
He smiled slightly as he stretched his arms and
legs. Slowly he looked around, at the sea of dust, the
fading sun. The seem to bother him.
thin air didn't
"You may call me Tern if you wish." He spoke
with Tern's vocal cords, but there was an authority
in his tone that no human could match. Yet there
was kindness there as well, a soothing whisper that
a concerned parent might speak with to a dis-
traught child.
"I can't," I whispered.
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CHRISTOPHER PIKE
His eyes came to on me and he patted the
rest
ground beside him. "Sit here, close. These eyes

want to see you."
I did as I was told. I moved close enough to touch
him.
"You can touch me," he said. "I don't mind."
I shook my head slightly. "But you're not him.
You're Alosha. I feel that."
He nodded. "But who is Alosha? Who to you?"

"Why? Why speak to us?"
"We are bound to you with a thread of love.
"Is Alosha what Tern evolved into over nine
billion years?" I asked.
"Yes. You understand, Paige Christian. I am
here. I would see you again and I have. It was
said I
a promise, and now I have kept that promise."

I choked. "Oh Jesus."
His smile widened. "He made promises that he
also kept, when he returned." He paused, and an
inexplicable note of sorrow entered his voice. "But
thatwas a long time ago."
"Why did you come back?" I asked.
His easy tone returned. "I just told you. But I
understand, you seek a deeper reason. I don't know

if I can give you one." He paused. "Aren't you
happy to see me?"
Tears came, soft and silently. "Yes. I can't tell
you how happy I am. But I'm also grieved. You're
not like me. You're a million times what I am. I'm
afraid of you now."
104
He did not try to argue the point. "The Creation
has gone forward while you have stood still."
I remembered the words. "I am a seed that never

saw the harvest." A wave of sorrow swept over me.
"I am a lost soul."
"No. You are not lost. You have merely lost your
way. That is not the same as being lost. But that
also was destined. You, Paige Christian, and you
alone are supposed to live in the same physical
body through a span of two Creations. Take heart
— it is a unique privilege."
I gasped. "What
you talking about?"
are
"You have to return to your ship. You have to
take it when the others leave it. You have to sail out
beyond the farthest star, at a speed so close to that
of light that all of what is left of time passes in the
twinkle of a star. In that void, you will see the
Creation fall back in on itself. The dead stars, the
burnt-out galaxies — they will all begin to rush
toward a single point.And when they reach it, there
will be an explosion of light and energy, and anew
Creation will begin. Then you will turn your ship
around and sail back to that time and place just
before you left the earth. There you will find a new
earth, identical to the one you left long ago." He
paused. "There you will find another humanity."
I couldn't take it all in. "That's impossible."
"It is the way it is and the way it will be."
"The Creation repeats itself? Exactly?"
"Yes and no. These things cannot be explained
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CHRISTOPHER PIKE
with words. I am only permitted to tell you so
much." He paused and reached out to take my

hand. His touch was warm. "You have to go
forward. You have to become what I am. Only then
can you be with me. With all of us, for we are all
one.
I heard Tern right then. "But I'm with you now."
"Only for these few minutes."
"But why can't I just go with you now? Why can't
you raise me up to your level? I hate it down here in
the dirt. All this Creation gives me is pain and then
more pain."
"You know the reason for that."
"But I can't learn this discrimination! It's too
hard. I want what I can touch and feel and hold
close to my heart. I don't know anything else except
that."
"That is what you must find." He
precisely
paused. "We your friends aboard the
will see to
Traveler. They have the knowledge and the tools to
survive here. They want to be here. But this place
holds nothing for you. This Creation is dead to you,
and you know that. But in the next one you will
complete the cycle of life. Then it will be finished
for you, and you will rest in eternity."
Now my tears gushed out, and I gripped his hand
tightly.
"Don't leave me," I pleaded. "I can't stand to see
you for this short time and then have you go."
He brushed a tear from my face beside my mask.
"I can't stay, Paige Christian. I'm sorry."
106
I spoke quickly, in case he suddenly faded. "Tell
me what it's like where you are now? What is it like
to be one with the Creation?"
His gaze was focused far away. "It is a wonder.
Everything is ocean washes upon
always new. My
many mysterious shores. There is always adventure
and excitement, yet everything has already been
revealed. It is a paradox. The secret of every riddle
has been solved. There is nothing but light and
joy — it permeates all facets of existence. But above
all, there is simplicity." He paused. "You think of
me as a god, but I am the simplest of men."
I forced a smile. "Do you still like frogs?"
"Of course." He smiled and released my hand.
He stood and stared out at the vast dust plain that
had once been the green park where we wandered
at will. I climbed to my feet as he raised his arms
and let the red sun shine over his limbs. Soon the
sun would set, as it had set when I last said
goodbye. He spoke seriously. "You know what you
have to do."
I shook my head. "It sounds impossible."
"Not for you." He brushed my hair with his
fingertips, stared at my face. Gently, he reached up
and removed my mask. His lips, as they touched
my lips, were sweet. I didn't need to breathe, as
long as they were near me. A greater power than
breathing kept me alive. But then he pulled back
and smiled again, his old Tern smile, the mischie-
vous one. "Are you the first page or the last?" he
asked.
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CHRISTOPHER PIKE
"I guess the answer is that I'm both."
"Even then, I knew that about you." He briefly
touched my heart, then he turned away and gazed
at the setting sun. The red glow on his skin was
grim, but the light on his face was joyful. "Time is
nothing to us, Paige."
"This moment is forever," I whispered, replacing
my mask.
He sighed faintly, but there was no regret in it.
"You remembered; I knew you would." He stepped

down the slope away from me. "Goodbye," he said.
"Goodbye," I said.
He walked into the sun. The dust stirred, the sun
set.
It grew dark and cold. He was gone.
108
32
He said I had a unique destiny. Back aboard the
Traveler, it felt like a curse. I couldn't share in the
excitement of the others as they talked of how they
would rebuild the earth. Because I was planning to
stab them in the backs. To steal one of their ships.
The problems to overcome were daunting. First,
one person could not operate the Traveler. It was
too big a ship. True, I could fire up the engines and
take it out of earth orbit. That required nothing but
a few pushed buttons. But the engines needed
regular attention —
I couldn't maintain them alone.
Yet I knew I would have to worry about that later. If

it was my destiny to succeed, and see the next
Creation, then I would overcome.

My other main problem was how I was going to
get everyone off the ship. The Traveler could be in
earth orbit the next hundred years and there
wouldn't be a day when it was totally unoccupied.
Obviously I was going to have to force everyone off.
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CHRISTOPHER PIKE
The only way I could figure to do that would be to
set the ship to explode, or rather, to set it so that it
appeared it would explode with no chance of stop-

ping the explosion. Even then Number One might
stay. He was now the captain and would probably
feel it was his duty to go down with his ship. Well,
he couldn't do that. I couldn't have the guilt of his
death haunting me in the next Creation.
Ihad to arrange for my surprise when Number
One was away.
And incredibly I knew exactly how to do it. Since
mind linking with the Shamere clone, I had begun
to experience extraordinary insights into physics,
engineering, and genetics. As I walked the long
halls of the Traveler, I often thought of how I could
make the ship ten times more efficient. The altera-
tions seemed obvious to me, and I knew the reason.
While attached to the Shamere, the alien's ad-
vanced knowledge had impressed itself on my cells.
I was probably the smartest human left alive in the
galaxy, but it wasn't something I bragged about. To

simulate a graviton drive overload, I would need a
green crystal and a few minutes alone in the engine
room.
I got my chance one month after we had entered
earth orbit.
Number One was planet side, overseeing the
completion of a ten-mile-wide pressurized dome
where the majority of our people would be trans-
ferred in a couple of days. I was in the garden with
Kabrina, where so many extraordinary things had
110
happened recently. I had an eye on the engine room
monitor. I knew the place was to be closed down
briefly for a robotic cleaning, which employed high
levels of radiation.
Kabrina was trying to console me about Tern.
"I didn't tell you/' I interrupted. "I spoke to
him."
She stopped and stared at me. "I didn't catch
what you said," she said. "Could you please re-
peat?"
I signed out the words. Kabrina just shook her
head.
"Paige. It's not possible."
I shook my head. "You know, I think we underes-
timated those we thought in two
left behind. We
hundred years they would develop all kinds of
wonderful inventions. But I think they did more
than make new toys." I paused. "I wonder where
the other half of the Pandora went."
"To another star system. You heard what their
commander said."
"Yeah. But he didn't look like he was telling the
whole story." I was thoughtful. "Maybe he didn't
know it."
Kabrina was confused. "What has this got to

with Tern?"
"He came back to see me. He fulfilled his prom-
me. He didn't even ask for all the letters I
ise to
didn't send him." I patted Kabrina's arm. "It

doesn't matter. That was another life. I have to let it
go. I have . . . things to do." Leaning over, I kissed
111
CHRISTOPHER PIKE
her cheek and whispered in her ear, so she couldn't
possibly hear me. "I love you, Kabrina. But now I
have to say goodbye. Fm never going to see you

again, and that is much too long a time to be
separated from you. Believe me,know." I
I drew back. Maybe she heard more than I
thought.
There were tears on her face. Maybe they had
washed from mine.
"What is happening, Paige?" she asked.
"History," I said, turning away, where she could
no longer read my lips. "The end of history."
33
The doors to the engine room were sealed shut. The
cleansing of the graviton engine with the heavy
cosmic radiation hadn't started yet, but I had to
manipulate the lock to get inside anyway. I auto-
matically unlocked it —
how to do it came to me in
vivid waves of pictures and symbols I did not
consciously recognize. It seemed there was nothing
112
about our technology that the Shamere hadn't
known.
That fact continued to puzzle me.
I locked myself in the engine room and shorted
out all the viewing monitors. Around me, various
robots were preparing to discharge the radiation
directly into the engines. Using a nearby monitor, I
tapped into the ship's central computer and was

able to disable the robots as well. I knew right about
now on the bridge would be having
the officers
anxiety attacks. And I was just getting started.
After putting on a protective suit, I crossed
through the barrier toward our plasma stream. I
intended to use a green crystal to simulate a

massive meltdown of the graviton core. I had
several crystals in my pocket. Alone, I had manu-

factured them in our lab.
I opened up the core and placed the crystal
inside.
The plasma stream ate it up.
Once again, the noise and light was both deafen-
ing and blinding. I retreated to the elevator and
placed the transparent barrier between myself and
the engines. Yet it was possible I had already
absorbed a lethal dose of radiation. At the moment
I didn't care. Iwas not in free-will mode. I felt
everything I was doing had been set up by the
Creation.
A red alert sounded. I heard people banging on
the door. I didn't let them in, but I did reconnect
communications to the bridge. Someone spoke
113
CHRISTOPHER PIKE
from a simple audio speaker. I recognized Officer
Bella — a tough old cookie who had worshiped the
ground my father walked on. She was Number
One's right hand person.
"Who's in engineering?" she demanded.
"Just me," I said.
There was an incredulous pause. "Paige? What
are you doing?"
"I have set the graviton drive to explode. If you
consult the core readings, you will see that you have
less than ten minutes to abandon ship."
There was another long pause. Then seething

outrage.
"Why have you done this?" Bella demanded.
"The ship is ruined!"
"You better get off now. By the way, if you try to
break into engineering, I will immediately explode
the core.have a few extra green crystals on me.
I
You remember I was the one who came up with the

formula for making them."
"But why are you doing this?" Bella screamed
again.
"I don't know. Itmust be that time of month."
I cut the line. There was no sense trying to
explain.
114
34
Ten minutes later the ship was empty. I checked all
the monitors, all the sensors. I was the only living
creature on board. Effortlessly, using physical prin-

ciples that had yet to be invented, I reversed the
meltdown, bleeding the excess energy off into a
massive gravity wave displacement. The Traveler
blasted out of orbit. I imagined, down on earth,
they could see me leaving. I wonder what they all
thought, when the ship did not explode. Especially,
I wondered what Kabrina thought of me. But I
knew they would be all right with the Pandora and
the almost completed dome.
I was alone as no human being had ever been
alone. Sailing out beyond the orbit of Pluto, past

the cometary cloud, I had no idea which direction
to go. Where was the center of the Creation? How
did I turn away from it without knowing? This time
the Shamere knowledge did not come to my rescue.
115
CHRISTOPHER PIKE
The aliens had not solved every mystery of the
physical universe.
Using the crystals, I boosted my speed dramati-
This time there was no six-month period of
cally.
acceleration. The sun was a vanishing red star a

week after I left. Again the clock spun crazily —
was in extreme time dilation, which meant Kabrina
and the others were long dead.
It was taking me millions of years to get to where
I was going, but for me, they passed in a daydream
of friends and foes while I stared out the wide

window on the observation deck. Below me, I saw
the almost extinguished spiral body of the Milky
Way fall away. How sorry I felt for it then, that such
a magnificent galaxy could be humbled by time.
The few stars that still shone were like tiny lights
placed inside a massive corpse. The center of the
galaxy, the heart, was black as coal.
My skills were endless. Maybe I was an alien. I
refashioned the mindless robotic servants into

master maintenance engineers. They worked the
graviton drive twenty-four hours a day, always
tinkering, constantly refining the plasma stream. I
didn't have to do anything; they did it all. They

even said hello to me and inquired about my well
being asI walked by. I had taught them to speak in
addition to everything else.
Intergalactic space was my next stop, and still I
continued to press the last finite point off my

velocity and the speed of light. Time continued to
dilate, and the millions of years of elapsed time
116
turned again into billions. I began to have trouble
finding galaxies in the black sky. The second law of
athermodynamics was being played out. Entropy
always increased. The universe was running down.
Then I began to notice strange phenomena. In
the far distance, I saw a faint violet glow, and
numerous gaseous ghosts flying toward it. This
—
glow and the ghosts at first I didn't understand
what they were. I was tempted to turn my ship in
that direction. Despite my earlier vow, the endless
black was beginning to oppress me. I wanted to
turn toward the light, perhaps even feel its warmth.
But then the truth of the matter occurred to me.
The ghosts were the remains of the dead galaxies.
The violet glow was the mother of all black holes.
It was drawing what was left of the universe back
into itself. It would have got me if I hadn't been

moving so fast.
I had to get some distance from it and quick.
Turning the Traveler away from the glow, I poured

more green crystals into the plasma stream. Now
the amount of elapsed time lost all meaning. Yet
the violet glow did not grow in intensity, as I
expected. I did not know if that was because most
of the universe had already been absorbed or
because I was too far from it to see clearly what was
happening. I only knew that I was heading into the
final nothingness.
I sang to myself. The words died in the air
around me, even when I stood in the garden.
Gathering my robotic helpers, I lectured them

about what it meant to be human, and they me-
117
CHRISTOPHER PIKE
chanically applauded every time I paused. Lying
alone on my in my room, I imagined Tern
bed
resting beside me. But the bed always felt so empty.
One day I went to the observation deck and
noticed the violet glow was gone. Consulting the
ship's main telescope, I was unable to detect even a
trace of it. In every direction, there was only the
void. And I wondered why God was always associ-
ated with light. The supreme being who swal-
true
lowed the Creation of time was as black
at the finish
as a bottomless well. I even wondered if time itself
could be called God. Certainly, in the end, it had
defeated everything else.
Except perhaps me.

"It's over," I said. To no one in particular.
35
The feeling then was like a prolonged hush. A
breath inhaled but never exhaled. I walked the
empty halls of the Traveler and tried not to think
about how long they would remain silent. For in
118
reality, itwas the absolute silence of everything
that had begun to disturb me even more than the
endless black and the bitter cold. I could hear my
heart beat and it seemed to me a sin, that anything
should move in this soundless chasm. Far away, in
another dimension perhaps, I tried to convince
myself that a major masterpiece was on the verge of
taking birth. A new Creation to sing and dance and
play in.
But I could not feel the approaching birth.

Any more than I had felt Tern's death.
Only death pangs. My heart seemed to echo in
my chest.
I wondered if the rest of my life would go by like
this.
It was a thought born of despair.
119
36
There was another special time, during that week I
had known Tern. We sat on a high hill overlooking
Rainbow Park. It was almost morning; the sun was
just coloring the east. We sat facing each other with
our eyes closed. We didn't know what we were
doing, maybe meditating, maybe being silly. Tem
had just wanted to try the experiment. But he had
given me no idea what the results would be, and
because it was so early and we had been up so late
the night before, I fell asleep. My head just fell
forward on my chest as I sat there.
I dreamed I was in a crystal cave. Everywhere,
the walls were covered with glowing jewels: ame-

thysts, sapphires, emeralds, rubies — they fanned a
haunting rainbow over my hands and face. Staring
at the gems, was filled with the inexpressible
I
certainty thatwas seeing a great secret. Something

I
no mortal was supposed to see.

In the dream, I came to a dark pond, whose
120
surface shone faintly with the glow of the jewels. I
sat down to rest, for I was tired, and at first I
thought I was I realized there was

alone. But then
someone pond from me. His eyes
sitting across the
were closed and he seemed to be deep in mystical
communion. I didn't want to bother him, but an
unexpected loneliness touched me then.
"Tern?" I whispered.
He opened his eyes and they glowed with a
strange violet light.
"Paige," he said. But it was not the dream
person.
It was the real Tern, shaking me awake. He had
dozed as well.
He'd had the exact same dream.
Except in his, my eyes were the ones that shone
with light.
121
37
I thought of writing Tern a letter. It was my turn.
But there was nothing new to tell him.
38
Let there be light. It started without warning.
was eating a breakfast of orange juice, coffee,
I
toast, and eggs when the Creation began. Fortu-

nately I was stuffing my face on the observation
deck. I was able to see the very beginning. Far in the
122
distance there was a peculiar soundless flash, like
the explosion of an underwater creature's fire-
works. A wave of longing swept over me suddenly,

for feelings, perhaps, that would not exist in the
next Creation. Then I was forced to close my eyes
because the lightbecame blinding.
A tidal wave struck the side of my ship.
The Traveler hull groaned.
Swept away. Never before had I felt such a rush. I
was riding the cosmic wave of existence, and now
my heart pounded in my chest with joy. As the
glare of the primeval light subsided, I opened my
eyes and toasted the new beginning with my glass of
orange juice.
"May you live long and be happy," I said. "And
hopefully be less a pain in the ass than the last
Creation."
123
39
The ship computer had a record of the Traveler's
course, through time and space. Calculating when
we had first left earth, and when I had left it the
second time, and adding in the actual age of the
universe —
which I could now list accurately the —
computer figured out which way to turn my ship to
bring it back to earth in the early twenty-third
century. Of course, I had to radically adjust my
speed downward.
All around me galaxies were forming and stars
were being bora.
The sight filled me with awe and gratitude.
All the agony I had gone through . . .
Right then it all seemed worthwhile.

I felt like a mother, I really did.
I thought of the stories I could tell my children.
124
40
The solar system shone before me. Familiar con-
stellations stood behind me. I was coming in at
normal speed and time, but I couldn't come all the
way in on a vessel as big as the Traveler. I would be
spotted, and that wouldn't do. Starting a chain
reaction in the plasma stream this one —
irreversible —I hurried to the shuttle and left my
home for only God knew how many years. As I
jettisoned from the belly of the mighty starship, a

tear rolled over my cheek. Always, it seemed, I was
losing my home. Having to trade it in for another I
didn't know and didn't understand.
The Traveler exploded even as I whispered good-
bye.
Yet the earth looked the same, as I swept toward
the heart of the solar system. The sight was reassur-
ing, although my immediate goal was not earth but
Mars. I knew it would be easier to land on the
fourth planet unobserved, and start a new life, with
125
CHRISTOPHER PIKE
identification papers I had forged between the
Creations, and a face I had altered slightly after the
second Big Bang.
My new name was Alpha Book.
I enjoyed the irony. The first page of the story.
But I couldn't take credit for the name. Or could
I?
41
It took me three months to make it tonew earth.
The time I used wisely. I was thinking more about
what had happened last time around: the unpro-
voked attack of the Shamere, the hypnotic gaze of
the evil commander, the friendly alien, the disem-
boweled Pandora, the lifeless body of Tern, the kind
words of the illumined soul on the dusty plain.
—
There was a pattern here I was finally beginning
to recognize it. I understood what Alosha had
—
meant by the word destiny all the ramifications. I
used every spare minute studying genetics. The
Shamere knowledge haunted my psyche.
126
I knew my future but I hated it.
Yes, I understood destiny, and I was sick of it.
One sunny afternoon, I stood on the steps of a

library acrossfrom a park. Checking my watch, I
adjustedmy cheap blond wig and dark sunglasses. I
had added a fraction of an inch to my nose, altered
my cheekbones a tad. But I knew the main changes
in me were the invisible scars of all I had gone
through. I knew I wouldn't be recognized. Not in a
million years.
A pretty redheaded girl came out of the library
and skipped down the stairs.
How happy she looked! It broke my heart, hon-
estly.
I had a high-powered laser pistol in my coat

pocket. I was in one of those moods again, I
suppose. I was sick of the Creation telling me how

it was going to be. I stared at her as if I knew her.
My gaze stopped her in her tracks. I stepped toward

her, feeling the weight of the weapon against my
skin, and offered my hand.
"You look like you don't remember me, Paige," I
said softly. "I met you a couple years ago. We were
introduced at a party for a mutual friend. My
name's Alpha Book."
She shook my hand. She acted polite but cau-
tious. "I'm sorry. I know your face, but that's all."
She paused. "Who was the friend?"

I forced a smile. My eyes strayed to the nearby
park.
"I don't remember," I said. "Isn't that funny?
127
CHRISTOPHER PIKE
But I remember you." I pointed to the trees. "I was
just there. It's lovely today. You should go. I was
sitting by the lake beside the fountain." I lowered
my head and knew sorrow touched my features,
because I couldn't get over how sweet she was, and
how I was going to shoot her in the face in just a few

seconds and kill her. I mumbled, "It was very
lovely."
This Paige was sweet. "I've never heard the name
Alpha before."
Coming to a hard decision, I raised my head. "It
suits me, Paige." Then I reached inside my coat,
took the handle of the laser, and felt the trigger
beneath my sweaty finger. This was my Creation, I
thought bitterly. I had earned it. The chance to

have a normal life. The chance to love the only guy
I could love. And better it should end for this girl
now, before she had to replay all the agony had I
gone through. Really — I thought I knew what was

real — would be doing her a favor.
I
Forgive me, Alosha. But sometimes love is not

enough.
Standing before me, she stiffened, almost as if
she suspected I meant to do her harm. And it was

that glimpse of fear that shattered my resolve. Now
her murder could not be totally painless. I could
not look at her and not love her. And you could not
hurt what you loved, unless you had either perfect
discrimination, or else none at all. A warm tear
formed in the corner of my right eye, and yet it felt
128
cold as it reached for the flesh of my face. My hand
shifted from the laser to my handkerchief.
"I should go," I said, dabbing at the tear. "It was
nice to see you again."
She hesitated. "You, too."
Turning, I walked down the steps, feeling her eyes
on my back. It was all I could do to make it around
the side of the library building. There I collapsed in
sobs, trembling so violently that I thought I would
pass out. Pulling the laser pistol from my coat, I
tossed it into a nearby trash can.
Then I went home, to my new home.
An empty apartment I had rented for Alpha
Book.
But I refused to be alone forever.
129
42
The Traveler left watched on TV. The
earth orbit. I
newscasters explained how

it would be gone
long
and perhaps what the world would be like when it
returned. It was hard to maintain a straight face
when they spoke about such things.
I didn't go see Tern right away, although I was
dying to see him. He was supposed to be grieving
over me, and I needed to establish myself as a real
person. Actually, I had to start working for the
Space Federation so that I could somehow get

aboard another starship.
Alpha Book was too weird a name, and besides, I
needed to improve my false identification, which
was no easy a matter. Everybody on earth was in
the computers. What was essential was that I find
someone who had just died, and convince the
authorities that the death had been recorded as an
error, that I was the person. Preferably this person
should have no family, and few friends.
130
I

Heila Derby gave me the perfect opportunity.
She died in an avalanche on Triton, the principal
moon of Neptune. She was buried along with her
whole exploratory party. Doing research, I found
her only surviving relation was a half brother, but
this guy just happened to have a prison record, a
rare case in the twenty-third century. It took me a
month to find him, but from various goods I had
stolen from the Traveler, I was able to bribe him
into helping me convince the authorities I was alive
and well. By amazing coincidence, I happened to
resemble Heila Derby, sort of.
But was it coincidence?

I remembered her name, of course.
I got a job with the Space Federation, in a minor
genetics lab. I did grunt work — Heila Derby did
not have a doctorate in genetics. But I knew she
would start to show amazing promise quickly. I
was there only a month when I got promoted. Bit
by bit, I began to reveal pieces of the Shamere's
knowledge of genetics. My first boss thought I was
an undereducated genius. After four months on the
job, I was transferred to a larger lab and placed in a
program where I could obtain my genetics doctor-
ate in four years. I knew it wouldn't take me half
that time.
It was months of being on earth that I
after six
approached Tern. I was such a clever rascal —
waited for him by the side of the lake in Rainbow
Park while he was diving. As he came out of the
water, I was sitting in the exact spot his girlfriend
131
CHRISTOPHER PIKE
had been sitting, when they first met. He did a
double take when he saw me. Although my hair was
now dyed black and my nose was more pointed
as the real Heila's hair and nose had been — I still
looked a lot like Paige Christian. For example, I
had left my green eyes alone. I batted them at Tern

as he removed his diving mask. That is until he
used the same line he had used on me before.
"You don't look like a fish," he said.
Fair was fair.
"In case you didn't notice, you've already sur-
faced," I said.
He blinked, puzzled. I had to be careful not to go
too far with the old quotes. I couldn't exactly tell
him who I was. For some reason, I didn't think he

would believe me.
"Who are you?" he asked.
I stood and offered my hand. "Heila Derby. And
you?"
He shook my hand. "Tem Basker." He gestured
to the lake. "I study frogs here."
"Do you have warts?"
The question seemed to disturb him. Oh, he was
missing Paige. Good boy. "I don't have any." He
nodded to where I had been sitting. His gaze
lingered on the spot. "What are you doing?" he
asked.
"Just resting. I've had a busy week at work."
"Where do you work?"
"At Trio Lab. They're a big genetics firm." I
added, "They're connected to the Federation."
132
"I know the outfit. What do you do there?"
"Oh, I clean test tubes, make little alien mon-
sters. That sort of thing. Do you like studying
frogs?"
He glanced back at the lake. He winced as he did
so; it seemed as if the whole place were haunted to
him. Or maybe it was me who was haunting him.
"To tell you the truth, no, I don't like it any-
more," he said.
"Well, then you should quit and work with me," I
said.
That amused him. He smiled. "I don't know
anything about genetics."
It only struck me then that I was really talking to
him. Maybe it was the smile. I felt it better to
maintain light banter with him, at least at first. But
the sudden realization of the consequences of the
meeting almost flattened me. This was Tern! I had
struggled through an entire Creation to stand be-
sidehim again. It was all I could do not to break
down and cry and hug him. I just had to touch him,
I thought, even a little. I brushed a water drop from
his face. The brief contact sent a thrill through my
entire being.
"I could teach you," I said in a shaky voice.
He grabbed my hand as I started to take it back.
He had noticed my voice faltering and knew some-
thing was going on.
"Have I seen you before?" he asked. "You look so
familiar."
I shook my head. "I don't think so, Tern."
133
43
We went to lunch. Fm not sure who invited whom.
Clearly he found me both disturbing and attractive.
He kept staring at me. Over our food, he told me
more about his work, and asked me for details
about mine. I don't know why, but I got rolling on a
subject I probably shouldn't have.
"Fm fascinated with cloning," I said. "Human
cloning. I think it's our best chance at immortality,
at least in the near future. I want to try to find a way
toawaken cellular memories. Fm convinced they
As part of my research, Fm doing an experi-
exist.
ment with dog clones, to see if they can be made to

recall the tricks their originals were taught." I
paused. "That way, when we're about to die, we can

keep cloning ourselves. We can go on practically
forever, with all our original memories intact."
He was curious. "If your research ever worked,
would you have yourself cloned?"
"Yes. Without hesitation. How about you?"
134
He shook his head. "I can't imagine two of me."
He paused. "But I can imagine two of you."
"Why's that?"
"I figured out who you remind me of. This girl I
—
know Paige Christian. You look a lot like her.
You even act like her."
"She must be an extraordinary person." I spoke
carefully. "Is she a girlfriend?"
He shrugged. I didn't know if I liked being
referred to with a shrug.
"Imet her six months ago, just before she went
off on a deep-space mission with her father." He
"
sighed. "She's aboard the Traveler.
I put a hand to my mouth as if shocked. "Oh no.
Were you two close?"

He had a faraway look in his eyes. I liked that.
"Yeah. We spent only a week together, but we got
real close." He shook his head. "It was probably a
mistake."
"Why do you say that?"
"Isn't it obvious? Because I'm never going to see
her again."
"I know that might be painful for you, but the
memory of being with her might be worth that
pain." I paused. "It's possible."
He shook "You don't understand. You
his head.
say goodbye to someone in that situation and that's
it. By the time she comes back, only a year will have
gone by for her, but I'll be dead." He stared down
at his coffee. "No. I think it would've been better if
we'd never met."
135
CHRISTOPHER PIKE
"But you're still able to communicate with each
you?"
other, aren't
"Yes. When the Traveler's engines turn off, she
can receive transmissions. But that only happens
once a month for a very brief time." He paused.
"But soon she'll be out of reach because their time
dilation is about to go wild."
He was different from the Tern I had left, more
serious. I kind of liked the change in him. His pain
had matured him. No one knew better than I how
that worked.
I reached over and took his hand. "Can I be your
friend?"
He acted startled. "Sure. But I don't know if I'm
the best company right now. As you can see, I have
a lot on my mind."
"I don't mind. I'm not here to take Paige Chris-
tian's place. I just want to be your friend."
136
44
My desires were in conflict. was important to me
It
that Tern maintained his devotion to Paige,and at

the same time I wanted more than a platonic
relationship. We frequently had lunch, and even
began to spend a few evenings together: dinner, a
movie, the theater — how I loved to see plays again!
It became more and more difficult to keep my
distance. Mostly, though, I just wanted to kiss him
or hold his hand.
had waited so long.
I
Then, perhaps our tenth time going out, it hap-

pened. We were down at the beach, walking along
the water. The sun had just set —
that time of day
had a special significance for me, for obvious
reasons. I just stopped him and kissed him, and he
kissed me back. It was absolute heaven until he
turned away wearing a pained expression.
"What's the matter?" I asked. Stupid question.
137
CHRISTOPHER PIKE
"I can't," he muttered. "I like you, but I can't."
I touched his arm. "Is it because of her?"
His answer had better be yes.
"Yeah." He gestured helplessly. "When I'm with
you, I can't stop thinking about her."
"Maybe that's good," I said quietly.
"No. I can't handle the guilt. I mean, I know
she's gone. I know I'm never going to see her again,
but I still feel connected to her." He paused and
stared out over the sea. "We made a promise to
each other."
"What kind of promise?"
He struggled for the words. "We promised to
write each other — butwhat I'm talking
that's not
about. We made it clear that we would always be
there for each other. Even over the many miles and
the many years." He lowered his head and I was
afraid he might cry, even though I had never seen
Tern cry before. "I can't explain how much I love
her. It's like our souls are bonded together."
I stroked his arm. "And you feel some of that
same bonding when you're with me?"

He nodded reluctantly. "I feel a great deal when
I'm with you."
I touched his neck. "You can love me, Tern. You
can love me and still love her. I promise you, I
know that's true."

He was unconvinced. and write to her
"I can't sit
if I'm thinking of you." He shook me off and turned
away. "It's not right."
138
"

"I'm sure your letters mean a lot to her," I said to
his back.
He paused and raised his head again, this time to
the stars, which were just beginning to come out.
He pointed out the plane of the zodiac.
"Do you know much about the cometary cloud?"
he asked.
"Yes. It lies just outside the solar system. It's the
source of our comets. It's supposed to contain
millions of them."
He nodded. "The Traveler's out there some-
where. Like I told you, it's now finally closing
only
in on the speed of light. Do you know how fast that
is?"
"One hundred and eighty-six thousand miles a
second."
"Yeah," he said sadly. "That's pretty fast. Some-
times I think all the thoughts I have about her can't
reach her. That thoughts move at a finite speed, and
they can never quite catch up." He chuckled with-
out mirth. "It's a stupid idea, isn't it?"
"No." I stepped to his side, touched his face this

time, forced him to look at me. It was time. "You
say you made promises to her. Didn't she make
promises to you?"
He hesitated. "Yeah."
"You told me you went to Hawaii together. Did
she make a promise to you there?"
"Heila, I don't understand why
—
"Did she?" I persisted. "While you lay on the
139
CHRISTOPHER PIKE
beach together. Didn't she say something to you
while she thought you were asleep?"
There was wonder in his eyes. Maybe I saw the
stars there. Maybe he saw the light in my eyes. He
suddenly became still.
"Yes," he whispered.
I nodded and quoted myself. " going to see Tm
you again, after this week. I don't know how, but I
will, Tem. I swear it. You're not getting away from
me.' " I paused. "She was a strong girl. Neither of

you knew how strong." I leaned over and kissed his
cheek, whispered in his ear. "It's me, Tem. It is
Paige. I came back for you."
He jumped. He grabbed me and held me at arm's
length. "It can't be you. It's not possible."
I reached up and touched the tip of my nose, my
cheeks. "I had a little plastic surgery so you

wouldn't recognize me right away." I chuckled
softly. "Please don't ask me how I got here. You
wouldn't believe me if I told you."
He was still struggling with the impossible. "But
you're older. Even if you were somehow able to get
off the Traveler — nothing can dilate time back-
ward."
I held a finger to his lips. "Shh. You want more
proof, I know. But proof is a quality demanded by

the intellect. The heart does not require it. The
heart knows, it feels the truth." I paused. "What do

you feel?"
What I said had a magical effect on him. Now he
wept. "It ifj -
^ u ^aige."
140
"Yeah. It's me." Drawing him close, kissing him
again, I spoke once more in his ear. "You know, in
the future, in another life, you're going to be a real
smart guy.
45
From then on we were always together, except when
we were working or in class. I stood over his
shoulder as he wrote letters number seven and
eight. I was his guardian angel who knew exactly
what Paige was going through as she read the
letters. I gave her what warning was permitted. Tern
didn't understand why I wanted the letters worded

exactly so but that did not matter to me.
My genetics Ph.D. came quickly, before two
years were up. But what I handed in as my doctoral
thesis was a fraction of what I knew about human
DNA. Late at night, in Trio Lab's most sophisti-
cated facility, I conducted experiments that man-
kind had outlawed a century before. Direct
manipulation of the human gei* uor ^de to pro-
141
CHRISTOPHER PIKE
duce a superior breed was forbidden. Mankind had
had bad experiences in the past. The genetically
superior always wanted to take over.
I thought that should be the least of mankind's
worries.
The Shamere. I often dreamed of them.
Three years after returning home I discovered I
was pregnant. I wasn't surprised since I had artifi-
cially inseminated myself. Not just with sperm, but

with cells from Tern's reproductive area that I had
taken one night with a long syringe while he lay in
drugged sleep.
The baby wasn't Tern's. It was Tern.
A clone. It grew in my womb.
I never told him. I couldn't explain how I had
passed through the void between Creations to
reach him. It was too huge a concept it wasn't —
something the human mind could accept, unless
one had been in that endless darkness, that abso-
lute silence. Privately, I think he believed we had
met a superior race in the future that knew the
secret of time travel. I just giggled when he teased
me with the idea. For his sake, I realized, the less he
knew the better. There were painful days still
ahead, hard decisions that had to be made.

Yet I was the same person who had almost
murdered the young Paige Christian outside the
library. I accepted my destiny while rebelling
against it at the same time. But I began to see that
my thoughts on the matter were meaningless.
Alosha's words had told me as much.
142
"Along the path there is free will. Once the goal is
reached the understanding dawns that everything

was destined. But a man or a woman cannot pretend
to be at the goal while still on the path. For you, at
this time, you must act as if you have free will."
But in reality it did not exist.
Because I had thought I could kill the young
Paige, and break the cycle. But the woman who had
met me outside the library before / left earth had
reached in her coat pocket as well. She had fright-
ened me, and with good reason. She had thought to
shoot me in the head, but was unable, just as I had
been unable.
The cycle was seemingly endless.
I enjoyed being pregnant. The potential mother
role reminded of the time right after the Creation

began when I felt I was the mother of all things. I
had a right, I thought, to enjoy what I could while
there was time. When our son was born, I insisted
he have his father's name. Tern protested we —
would always be confusing them, he said. But that
wasn't going to be a problem for me. I loved my son
as much as I loved his father. Tern was a wonderful
dad.
A year later I gave birth to a daughter.
Tern was elated. She looked just like me.
She was me, my clone. Her nickname was Alpha.
Alpha was a year old when I heard about the
Pandora.
I applied for a position on the ship. I was the
Federation's best genetic scientist. I had helped

143
CHRISTOPHER PIKE
solve the secret of artificial hibernation. I was
accepted immediately, then I made a strong case
forwhy Tern and our children had to come with
me. The authorities said yes to my request. They
did not enjoy destroying families.
The Pandora was supposed to follow the Travel-
er's path, except it was to be gone as long as five
centuries. It was the first sleeper ship — the crew
would only be conscious while the actual time
dilation was taking place. That was perfect for me,
for my plans.
I was a light sleeper.
46
I aboard the Pandora by Tern's hibernaculum as
sat
he slowly began to fall asleep. We were not in the
weightless cavern where the hibernaculums would
eventually be stored. Each person was put under in
a special medical facility located near the bridge.
As I watched, Tern's blood circulated via tubing
through a computer-controlled purifier. The blood
144
-
i
chemistry had to be significantly altered before full
hibernation could be induced.I was an expert on
the subject. had designed the purifier myself.

I
Tern's eyes were drowsy as I held his hand and

smiled for him.
He didn't know he was never going to wake up.
That his greatest love was going to kill him in his
sleep.
It was a forced smile I wore. Yes, my God.
"How are the kids?" he asked as he yawned for
the hundredth time.
"You asked that five minutes ago, sleepyhead," I
said. "They're fine. They're already both asleep. I
oversaw their procedures myself."

"That's good." He squeezed my hand lightly.
"Who would have thought when we met beside that
lake thatwe would end up here together? Headed
on an adventure mankind couldn't have dreamed
of two centuries ago."
I brushed his long dark hair aside. It kept falling
in his eyes. "You underestimate those people. Re-
member I studied that period. They had plenty of
dreamers."
He yawned "What I mean is that we've
again.
come a long way together. Our love has taken us
this far, and now we have children to share our love
with."
My eyes were damp. "They do belong to us.
Nothing's going to take them away from us."
He noted my sorrow. "What's the matter?"
"Nothing. Everything's fine, really."
145
CHRISTOPHER PIKE
There was a gleam in his eyes as he stared at me.
"You're so beautiful. Did I you that?"
ever tell
"Once or twice." I leaned over and kissed his

forehead. "Did I ever tell you how you make my
universe go round? That without you I'd be noth-
ing? Just dust floating among the stars." I coughed
weakly as a tear did roll over my cheek. "Starlight
twinkling in the dark."
Tern was concerned. "You're crying. Are you
happy or sad?"
I swallowed. "I'm very happy. To have this
chance to say good night to you." Reaching over, I
kissed him again, on the hand this time. "Good

night my love. Sweet dreams. Never forget me."
He smiled. I knew he would wear that smile for
billions of years.
"Never is a long time," he said.
Even for us.
I left him then, before he could see me break
down.
146
47
I was not the last one to go to That was for
sleep.
our senior medical officer. But would be the first
I
one to wake up. I had personally measured the

chemicals that were to be put into my bloodstream
and carefully programmed the computer attached
to my hibernaculum. I had set an alarm.
For all of mankind. Yet the alarm would ring too
late for them.
It was supposed to be a good thing.
I thought of Tern as I fell asleep. The tears froze
on my went down. I felt
face as the temperature
them, even as I lost consciousness, and knew how
painful they would be to wipe off when I woke
again, just outside the orbit of Pluto.
147
48
When I did awake I work immediately, all
got to
alone, in the Pandora's elaborate laboratory. I had
brought extensive supplies from earth. Actually, I
had little left to do. Everything had been ready for
the last year. I merely had to wake the sleeping
monsters.
The designers of the Pandora had done me a
great service. The ship was constructed so that the
hibernaculum-containing chamber could be sepa-
rated from the propulsion end of the vessel. This
was a safety feature. For example, if for some
reason the engine core became unstable, the sleep-
ing occupants in their chamber could be jettisoned
and later picked up by another ship. I planned to
separate the parts a little sooner than anyone had
expected. The propulsion end would take off for
another star —
carrying a deadly cargo —
and create
the nightmare race of all time.
The Shamere. I was their mother as well.
148
But before I could do that I had to attend to my
children.I had to get them off the Pandora, More
importantly, I had to awaken their memories, let

—
them know exactly who or what they were. —
Here was perhaps the biggest hole in my plan, or
perhaps its greatest strength. I was assuming I
could accomplish such a stirring of memory be-

cause I knew
the awakening was required by the
future had already experienced. My faith in
I
destiny was extraordinary by this time. I could not

let the wolf loose on the universe without also
sending out the means to destroy the wolf, which

was me, my knowledge of Shamere physics. In
other words, I was trusting Alosha would return
one last time and perform a miracle.
I woke up Alpha and little Tern.
He was four and a half. She was only three.

They stared at me with sleepy eyes.
"Are we there yet?" Tern asked.
"No. Mommy has changed her mind. You're
going to earth before Daddy and me. I'm going to
send you in a shuttle. You don't have to worry, you
won't have to fly it. I have already told the comput-
er on board exactly where to take you. In one week
you will be close to the inner planets and someone
will come pick you up. I have set the shuttle to send
out a distress signal."
My children looked at each other.
"But we want you to come with us," Alpha said.
"Yeah," Tern agreed. "We'll get hungry."
I laughed softly. "You will not get hungry. There
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CHRISTOPHER PIKE
is plenty of food aboard the shuttle. You just have
toopen it up to eat. But you won't be lonely. Before
you leave, Mommy's going to perform a fun experi-
ment with you. After this experiment, you will
know a lot more than you do now. You will be as
smart as your Mommy and Daddy."
"Will we be big like you?" Alpha asked.
"You will be big where it counts." I paused.
"Now sit up straight and close your eyes. Take a few
deep breaths through your nose. That's it relax —
and keep your eyes closed. Now your Mommy's
going to hold your hands. First I'll hold Alpha's,
then I'll hold yours, Tern. While I do that, I want
you to be happy and know that your Mommy and
Daddy love you very much." I took Alpha's tiny
hands in mine. "Just keep breathing and don't be
afraid."
The miracle started at once.
"Go back In time and space. A ship floats in
. . .
the void It is another ship

. . The task is not
. . . .
easy but you are equal to it. You have gone through a
great deal to arrive at this time and place. You have
accumulated tremendous knowledge. You under-
stand the Shamere as no one else can understand
them. Their wealth of technology it belongs to —
you They are really not so different from you
. . .
when you remember all that you have learned. The

stars help you remember. That is why you love them
so much. . . . You remember, Paige Christian?"
remembered Alosha's words clearly and won-
I
dered if I was saying them out loud. Someone was
150
speaking for sure. was already far away, in a
I
trance state where all I saw were the stars. Yet in

this vast space I sensed a great being. For a moment
I wondered if it was my daughter, but then I sensed
it was closer to me than even she. This being it —
was a part of the stars. It lived in them, gave life to
them, and in the same way gave life to me. Briefly I
wondered if it was who / would be in the future,
what I would evolve into, if I had the courage to live
my life.
Yet the thought struck me as ironic.

My life was all but over.
Yet this being didn't seem to agree with me.
I felt a sharp pang of longing. The presence had
moved closer to me, close enough to touch. Now
that was here I couldn't bear to be separated from
it
it. The peace that radiated from it was of cosmic
proportions. A torrent of blissful light engulfed me.

Suddenly I was not an individual, but an ocean. I
washed against a million shores, all in the same
instant, and yet I felt absolutely centered. This was
a taste of Alosha's state, I knew, and I was grateful
for it. Unfortunately, my glimpse of eternity was
short lived, perhaps as short as the life of a mortal
seemed to a star.
someone shake my hands.
I felt
opened my eyes. Alpha stared at me.

I
No. I stared at myself. For a moment it was as if I

were gazing into a mirror. A shiny reflective surface
that split consciousness as well as light. I could see
through Alpha's eyes and my own at the same time.
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CHRISTOPHER PIKE
Then she spoke and the mirror shattered into a
million pieces. I hardly recognized the voice. . . .
Because it was my own voice.

"It worked," she said calmly. "I know all you
know."
I nodded calmly, although I shook inside. "You
have my memories until the time I withdrew your

seed cells from my body."
Alpha shook her head. "I remember everything
you have experienced until now. I am the same as
you. There is no difference."
"That's not possible."
"It is a fact."
"But the memory is contained in the cells, in the
DNA. That is what we have just awakened."
The reply, as it came out of the tiny mouth, was
hard to absorb.
"There must be another mechanism at work.
Even now I experience what you experience. I see
through your eyes. There is no difference between
us." She paused. "You often asked yourself this
question: was the soul of the Paige Christian you
met on the steps of the library the same as your own
soul?"
I nodded. "I wondered if the soul changed from
Creation to Creation. If we had to repeat the
process of becoming one with the Creation again
and again. It never made sense to me that could be
true."
"Right now, I believe I share the same soul as
you," she said.
152
"That's a scary thought. What happened to the
Alpha of a few minutes ago?"
"I think it was always this way. I think I was just
unaware of it."
I reached to take Tern's hands. Incredibly, he was

still sitting with his eyes closed, taking deep
breaths. It was as if he hadn't heard a word Alpha
and I had said. Briefly I wondered if the discussion
was actually taking place on the telepathic level,
and I was simply too close to Alpha to notice. It was
an interesting idea.
Alpha stopped me. I withdrew my hands.
"It won't work for him," she said.
I paused. "How do you know?"
"I know. He will never understand he was Tern.

To him, I will always be his sister."
I frowned. "That's not the way I planned it. You
were supposed to go on with him by your side. You
can't go through what I did."
"I am the same as you. I can go through what you
went through."
"But I don't want that. It was horrible."
"It is the way it is."
I paused. "Can you see the future?"
"No. I can only see what you
But already a see.
difference in perspective has arisen between us.
This is because you are about to kill your body,
while mine is just beginning to live."
"I am more fragile than you?" I asked.
"Yes." She leaned over and hugged me. What it
felt like to hold her right then, I cannot describe. It
153
CHRISTOPHER PIKE
was like embracing my soul, but with the awareness
that my soul was going to have to go through hell
again before would see heaven. A tear fell from
it
my eye, directly into hers as she stared up at me. It

was as if she absorbed all my sorrows with her
compassionate gaze. "Thank you for my life," she
said.
"Thank you for taking the burden of my life from

me," I replied.
49
The Shamere were a product of human experimen-
tation in genetics. I had realized the truth a long
time before returning to earth. Numerous clues had
helped me solve the mystery. The Shamere knew
our ships, all aspects of our technology. They had
similar DNA. They hated us, for seemingly no
reason. And most of all when I stared into their
eyes I was staring into a slice of my own mind. I
remembered well how the Shamere commander
154
had hypnotized me on the bridge. I had swooned
under her gaze because I had recognized it.
I had seen through the alien's eyes.
Because the alien was me.

After my children were safely away in the shuttle,
I accelerated the Pandora using a green crystal.
Almost immediately a measure of time dilation

was achieved, yet I could not push too far into the
future because I had to give the Shamere time to
grow as a race. To grow so strong that they could
smash humanity.
I was the mother of the evil monsters. I had
created them in my laboratory on earth by boosting

the genetic factors that determined intellect while
all but obliterating the DNA codes that gave hu-
manity compassion and understanding. I designed
a race of beings for one purpose; to take over the
galaxy. Ironically, I used their knowledge of genet-
ics to create them, the knowledge had gained
I
when had mind

I Shamere clone.
linked with the
Now one might ask which had come first: the
chicken or the egg? Me or the Shamere? My answer
was that there really was no time, no first or last. I
agreed with Alosha. Time was only there to allow
us to enjoy the play of Creation. At least until the
curtain came down. It had no real substance.
I had used my cells and Tern's to make the alien
eggs. The evil commander had obviously been a
product of my genetic chain. She had perfect dis-
crimination. She knew what she was there for — to
155
CHRISTOPHER PIKE
wipe us out. But the friendly alien had been from
Tern's cells. I encoded one other thing into my
lover's genetic code, before twisting the DNA into
the enemy. When the time came, some of the
Shamere were to help the human beings aboard a
ship called Traveler. Yes, it was possible to plant a
direct message into the genes. The Shamere had
shown me how, after I had shown them. Perhaps,
even, the friendly alien had remembered Tern,
before he had died. I liked to think so. I liked to
think the alien had sacrificed his life to save some-
one he loved.
My alien seeds would grow as the propulsion half
of* the Pandora traveled through deep space. The
aliens would be born in space. They would grow to
adulthood in the emptiness between the stars. That
emptiness would color their personalities. But they
could not choose for themselves where they wanted
to build their short-lived dynasty. I had also coded
into their genes where they had to settle. They
would think they made the choice, but there would
be no choice involved. This was necessary so that
Alpha would know where to go to destroy them.
And destroy them she would.
She was mankind's life insurance.
But why was I doing all this? Why re-create the
nightmare over again? I could say because it was
meant to be. Everything was, in a sense. But a more
fitting response would be Alosha's.
"The first step toward the truth of the Creation is
156
"

discrimination . . . Yet, when you
as a left earth,
people, perhaps one in a million had achieved

discrimination. That is why the destruction of earth
occurred. It had to occur, for your own sokes.
I created the Shamere to help mankind grow.
Perhaps Judas felt as I did as I stored the seeds
aboard the other half of the Pandora in special
wombs. Yes, the wombs were artificial, but
artificial
they were still too close to my natural womb for

comfort.
I separated the Pandora. I watched as the huge
starship raced away. The graviton engines left a
brilliant streak across the black sky as they dis-
placed a massive gravity wave fueled by green
crystals. The sheer demonstration of power was
fascinating to behold, but it made me think that if
the truth was ever revealed, I would be remem-

bered as the worst murderer of all. I could imagine
that Hitler and other tyrants made the same case as
I did. Yet I made it anyway.
Iwas only doing what I had to do.
But I was no Judas, no Hitler.
I did what I did out of love.
There was only love in my heart as I repro-

grammed the computer that controlled Tern's hi-
bernaculum. I wept as I worked but I didn't stop.
He had to die because I refused to store him like a
lump of ice until the end of Creation. I refused to
let him wake as a mere mortal, nine billion years
from now, when there would be no more time left

for him to find eternity. I knew what my change in
157
CHRISTOPHER PIKE
program would do to my future self. I had been
there and known both the blazing hope and the
crushing despair.
But I wiped away my tears and killed him
anyway.
So that his soul could be set free.
So that when he did meet Paige Christian beside
the sea of red dust, he could smile and talk about
eternity rather than death. I did all this because of
love.
I ruined my own hibernaculum as well, just
before climbing inside. I was no faint-hearted
hypocrite when it came to destroying life. But as
the cold drowsiness swept over me, wondered if
I
my soul was ever going to be free. I remembered

what Alpha had said upon awakening. Her words
sent a chill through me deeper than any caused by
the hibernaculum.
"Right now, I believe I share the same soul as
your
What did she see now? Through whose eyes?
It made me wonder if I was ever going to die.
It was a curious thought to carry to the grave.
158
Epilogue
THE LONG TWILIGHT
I was twenty-five years old when we encountered

the Shamere warship off Delta-Pau, a blue-red
binary star system in the Hercules cluster. I was the
same age my mother had been when she left earth
in the Pandora. Of course, I remember that day,
and what followed: how it felt to die in a cold
hibernaculum. I even recalled her final musings
because she was right — she was not I was
yet free.
not Alpha, but Paige. The same soul burned in me,
the same fire. The war was not over yet.
I left earth with my brother, Tem, fifteen years
after the departure of the Pandora, as an eighteen-

year-old, the same age my mother had been when
she left earth in the Traveler. We were minor
officersaboard a starship called the Virgo. Our
destination was the star system Ortega-6, in the
Felix Nebula. With time dilation, it took us two
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CHRISTOPHER PIKE
years to arrive at our goal. But backon earth over
three hundred years had elapsed, and therefore the
earth was over a century dead. It was the first thing
I was told upon waking in my hibernaculum, but
naturally I knew of the disaster.

My memory was clear. I knew precisely where
the Shamere home planet was to be found. What
was left of humanity was grouping together to fight
off the Shamere. But it appeared, when I awoke at
Ortega-6, that we didn't stand much chance against
the enemy.
Throughout my adolescence, on earth, I had
kept my remarkable knowledge of science a se-
cret. I reasoned that we had only two weapons

against the Shamere: my knowledge of their tech-
nology and their ignorance of the fact. I only
wanted to reveal what I could when I was in a
position to strike a devastating blow. As a re-
sult, during my stay at Ortega-6 from the ages —
of eighteen till twenty-one I —
watched many
human ships being blown up for want of energy
beams and shields I could have built for them.
It was a hard test of my discrimination. I had
to keep focused on the bigger picture, as my mother

had.
But I must stop calling her that.
I am Paige, only Paige tells this story.
At the age of twenty-one I finally did reveal a few
secrets had learned from my long-ago mind
I link
with the Shamere clone. But I didn't tell my
160
superiors everything, only enough to bribe my
way — four years later — into the captain's chair of
a small cruise ship called the Jubilee. People, male
or female, young or old, were promoted quickly in
those times if they were competent, and I was much
more than that. I made my brother, Tern, my
Number One, and the first thing we did was fly
straight into the arms of the enemy. My superiors

didn't want to give me the command for fear of this
exact thing. They had wanted to keep their budding
physicist superstar out of harm's way. But I had
been persistent.
The Jubilee was hardly armed for war. It
had flimsy shields and only one disrupter cannon.
In fact, when we encountered the Shamere war-
ship, we didn't have a single anti-matter torpedo
aboard. From the outside we appeared to be help-
less, which is the way
wanted to appear. I was
I
not unduly worried that we would be blown out

of the sky. As our war had progressed, and the
Shamere's victory had become more certain, they
had taken to capturing as many prisoners as pos-
sible. God knows what they did with them, may-
be conducted genetic experiments to de-evolve

humanity.
The Shamere warship as usual seemed to — —
come out of nowhere. I knew they were able to do
this because of their ability to navigate hyperspace,
a trick humanity had yet to learn. I had Tern raise
shields and arm our disrupter cannon, but I knew

we were going to have to surrender.
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CHRISTOPHER PIKE
All the eyes on the bridge were on me, and the
eyes were not friendly. I knew what they were
thinking. This foolish young captain has led us into
this mess. Now we're going to have to kill or be
tortured to death. Better to die quickly, and get it
over with. . . .
I remembered my father right then, how he was

always able to calm his crew in times of emergency.
After standing up from my command chair, I
strode to the large forward viewing screen. Ap-

proaching at high speed, the Shamere warship
looked very much like the ones that had smashed
the earth: black thorns, tipped with blood. It was
odd but remembered right then how I had

I
scratched my thumb with a thorn in my last incar-

nation, not long before the Shamere had first
appeared. Even now my right thumb still flared up,
as if infected.
"We have them now," I said firmly, surprising
everyone on the bridge.
"Captain," Tern said, still getting used to using
the title for his "They have us in their
little sister.
sights. They're demanding our immediate surren-

der."
"That's fine, tell them we surrender," I said. But
then I addressed the rest of the bridge. "But don't
worry. We are not as helpless as we appear. This
ship is equipped with weapons none of you know
about. But we will only use them when they think
we are down on our knees."
162
They still looked worried. Tern spoke for all of
them. "Where are these weapons, Paige?" he asked.
"Captain," I corrected.
"Captain," he said. "I know nothing of these
secret weapons. Where are they stored?"
I patted my pants. "In my pocket. They are small
weapons, but nevertheless powerful." I nodded to
the approaching warship. "I just have to get aboard
that ship. Then I will be able to short out their
brain power."
Tern was incredulous. "How?"
"Very simply." I returned to my chair and sat
down. "Hail their captain. Tell him or her I wish to
come over in a shuttle and discuss the terms of
surrender."
"The Shamere never grant terms," Tern said
stiffly, obviously dissatisfied with my explanation.
"Then make up something," I replied. "Just get
me over to their ship alive."
"They will be coming to drag us all over in a few
minutes," Tern muttered. But he turned back to the
communication console and began to negotiate
what I requested. My brother gave me a hard time,
but deep down inside he trusted me. Perhaps his
cells did remember a thing or two.
Tern and I were eventually allowed to shuttle

over to meet with the Shamere captain. But we
never got to the big man. The instant we stepped
out of the shuttle airlock and into the warship, I
163
CHRISTOPHER PIKE
activated the Mazon Beacon in my pocket. I had
invented the device. It radiated an intense field of
Mazon particles that specifically resonated with the
Shamere DNA. Tuned as it was to a particular
genetic code, it had no effect on humans. But the
armed Shamere guards, who had met us, collapsed
writhing on the floor.
They were the enemy, but I hated to see them
suffer.
I turned up the intensity so they could die.
Everyone aboard the ship, with the exception of

Tern and myself, died.
My brother stared at me as if I were a wicked
witch.
"What do you have in your pocket?" he de-
manded.
I shook my head. "You should ask what I have up
my sleeve. Come, we must take command of this
vessel."
Tern nodded. "Wait until we get it back to
Control."
I stopped him. "We're not taking it to Control.
Call for a small crew. We're going to Hydra-9, in
the Orion constellation."
"That's a hundred light years from here."
"This ship is fast. It will be there inside the
week."
"But what's there?" Tern demanded.
"The Shamere home world."
The statement stunned him. He gazed at me with
164
haunted eyes. He knew something of my relation-
ship with our mother, although he couldn't possi-
bly guess the real story. But he did believe she
spoke to me, sometimes in dreams —
as I had told
him — and that these dreams were amazingly accu-
rate.
"Did Mother tell you this?" he whispered.

"Yes. The day she died."
"But you were only three." He paused. "How
could she have known?"
"Mother was a remarkable woman" was all I
said.
Entering Shamere space was easy in one of

their ships. The enemy thought we were weak.
Not in their wildest imaginations did they be-
lievewe could conquer one of their ships. Also,
upon the fact that the location
they relied heavily
of their home world was a secret. For these
reasons, they didn't have an elaborate system of
security. We were able to pull into orbit around
their home world by sending off only a cursory
clearance message, which I had pulled out of their
computers.
It was then things started to get complicated.
Ineeded to blow up Hydra-9, the consolidated
Shamere power base. Not only did it appear that
the majority of the enemy lived on the planet,
they had anchored the bulk of their armada
in orbit around the world. If Hydra-9 died, the
165
CHRISTOPHER PIKE
backbone of the Shamere Empire would be
crushed.
And I would have fulfilled my purpose in being
alive. Again.
I had a box full of green crystals, ripe ones. But to
rupture the crust of Hydra-9 — as I planned — I had
to plant my bomb on the surface of the planet.
From orbit the same explosion would do mas-
sive damage to the fleet and the planet, but it
would not destroy either completely. I wasn't
interested in half measures. A chance like we
had been given would be rare, even for me. I
explained this to Tern as we talked in my quar-

ters, which I had confiscated from the previous
captain.
"You may be able to get down to the surface," he
said. "But you'll have trouble getting back up to the
ship."
"While we are here," I said, "the bomb must go
off.That is an unalterable fact."
He regarded me suspiciously. "You see this as
a suicide mission. You don't plan on coming
back."
"I would like to return alive. But the safest way to
see that the bomb explodes where I want it is to
detonate it myself."
He was disturbed. "How can you say the safest
way?"
I reached over and took his hand. This was
harder for him, I realized, because he was younger
166
than I. Really, I was twice his age, and I knew better
what was at stake.
"It is safest for humanity," I said. "How can I
think of myself at a time like this?" I paused. "I

can't even think of you,and that is hard."
"You will be recognized the instant you land," he
said.
"No. I have made a genetically designed cos-
tume. I will get by long enough to plant the bomb."
"But you don't have to stay to detonate it. You
can set a timer on it."
"They might remove the timer," I said.

"You can rig it so that if they do, the bomb
automatically goes off."
"They are shrewd, these monsters. Who knows
how they might be able to disarm the bomb? No, I
can't risk it. After I land, after I set the bomb, I
detonate it."
Tern was grim. "If you want to be so certain, why

don't you just ram the planet now with this ship?
The bomb you have constructed would detonate
just the same. The crust would rupture. The
Shamere would die."
I shook my head. "I will not have your life and
the lives of my crew on my conscience. As soon as I

land on the planet, you are to take this ship out of
orbit." I paused. "That's an order, brother."
Of course Tern didn't listen to me. I should have

guessed. I was heading for the surface of Hydra-9 in
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CHRISTOPHER PIKE
a Shamere shuttle, ignoring every demand from the
alien headquarters for a clearance code, when I
became aware of a figure standing behind me. I
didn't have to turn to recognize the breathing.

Actually, I was too upset to look. One of my major
consolations in doing this horrible deed was that
my brother would be safe — hopefully for the rest of
his life. Now was gone. I could not
that comfort
very well turn around and head back for the
warship. It would just make us that much more
suspicious. As it was, I believed we were on the
verge of being shot out of the sky.
"Dumb," I said quietly.
He sat beside me. "That I stowed aboard? Or that
I have you for a sister?"
I shook my head. "You're going to die for no
reason."
He put a hand on my shoulder. "You need me. I
can guard you while you set the bomb."

"You'll only call attention to us while I set the
bomb. You don't have a Shamere costume."
"Yeah, but they're so ugly. Who wants to wear
one of those things anyway?"
I had to smile. For a moment, I heard the Tern of
my youth speaking.
My first youth. When he used to kiss me.
"You are dumb for being my brother." I nodded
to the space station below us. "We have to come in
there."
"Why not just land on a field somewhere?" Tern
asked.
168
"Itwould make us that more obvious. I believe
there are weapons pointed at us this very second.
But if we come in smoothly, and don't disobey
their directional beacons, I believe they'll let us
land."
"Then what?" Tern asked.
"Then there will be a bunch of armed guards
waiting for us the instant we step outside this
shuttle."
Tern gripped the hand laser he wore on his hip.
"Good. My company will come in handy, after
all.
"No. I'm going to use my Mazon Beacon again."

"What's the range of that thing?" Tern asked.
know. Maybe two hundred yards."
"I don't
"They can shoot you from farther away than
that." He paused. "Why should we leave the ship at
all? Why not just detonate the bomb the second we
land?"
"It will take me a few minutes to bring the
bomb up to full power. No, we have to take out the
guards who plan to meet us. Then we have to keep
the rest of them off our backs until the bomb goes
off."
"If anyone has to stay with the bomb, it will be

me," Tern said.
"We'll see," I said.
I didn't even bother with the costume. With Tern,

my unwelcome partner, it was useless. The moment
169
CHRISTOPHER PIKE
we landed we stepped outside and ran into ten
armed Shamere. I activated the beacon and they
dropped dead on the floor. They shrieked as they
died. It was not a pleasant sound.
We were in an incredibly huge structure, perhaps
the main Shamere spaceport. In our immediate
vicinity was a complex network of halls and doors.
The design was honeycombed it reminded me of—
an insect's dwelling. The lighting was a gruesome
red —
it was always late twilight on Hydra-9.
The Shamere didn't know how late it really was.

We raced from the shuttle and hid in what
appeared to be a maintenance supply closet. I did
not notice any cameras, but feared the whole area
might be watched. We closed the door and Tern
welded the lock in place with his laser. I knelt on
the floor and set to work on the bomb. It resembled
a huge glass beaker, filled with green crystals and
gray slime. I had teased the crystals toward critical
mass. was only the thick solution I had soaked

It
them in that kept them from exploding. Using a

tiny internal pump, I began to siphon off the
solution as Tern watched. His forehead was damp
with sweat but otherwise he appeared calm. He was
a brave man, my brother.
I didn't realize how brave he was.
"How do you detonate the bomb?" he asked.
I pointed to a black button on the side of the
beaker. "I will press that when the crystals begin to
bubble."
170
"And there's enough power in those things to
rupture this planet's crust?"
"Yes. More than enough." I glanced up. "I want
you to leave now."
"I'm not leaving without you."
I hardened my tone. "We've discussed this. I
bomb until it goes off. I didn't

cannot leave this
know you were coming. I haven't even rigged it
with a timer." I paused. "Get back to the shuttle
now. The Shamere focus must be here now. You
might be able to escape while they're trying to get to
me.
"No way. I'm your guard."
"I don't need a guard! I need a brother to live and
tell our story! Get out of here!"
Naturally, I expected him to argue with me some
more. What he did next caught me completely by
surprise. I guess I wasn't so smart, after all.
Tern took out his laser pistol and shot himself in

the foot.
No, he carefully amputated his foot from his
leg.
Blood poured over the floor as he toppled.

Horrified, I caught him as he fell. "Tern!" I cried.
"Why did you do that?"
Now his forehead was soaked with sweat. Lying
on the floor in my arms, he struggled to catch his
breath. The sight of all that blood couldn't have
been easy for him. It wasn't easy for me — I felt it
drenching my pant legs.
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CHRISTOPHER PIKE
"I won't be able to walk back to the shuttle," he
said. "You have to leave me."
"I'm not leaving you." I reached for his leg. "We
need to make a tourniquet. We need to stop the
bleeding."
He stopped me. "There's no time. I will bleed to
death anyway." He drew in a ragged breath as the

puddle of red fluid continued to grow around us.
Intellectually, was one thing to know how many

it
quarts of blood the human body held. But it was

quite another to see them spurt out of the body of a
loved one. Already he was losing strength. "I have
at most a few minutes," he whispered. "You have to
go.
There were tears in my eyes, "But I can't leave
you. You're all I have in this cold universe."
"Our crew the Shamere warship we
on
highjacked — I them not to leave orbit until
told
you returned." A spasm shook him. It went through
his whole body and he trembled in my arms. "You
have to go back if you're to save them."
"That's nonsense. I gave them orders to leave."
His voice was strained. "They look up to you,
Paige. They love you. They will not leave you.
Please believe me."
The trouble was, I did believe him. Never before
— in both my lives —
did I feel so torn. Beside us on
the floor, inside the beaker, the green crystals began
to fizzle. Two minutes had elapsed since we had
killed the guards. More Shamere must be on their
172
way. The door would explode any second. The sight
of Tern's blood — I couldn't bear it. And I had my
duty to perform.
I reached for the black button.
Tern stopped me. "No, Alpha," he gasped.
I was frantic. "It's too late. It's over, for all of
us."
Somehow he managed to force a smile. "Not for
you. You have magic. I remember that time aboard
the Pandora, when mother left us. You thought I
was off in my own world, but I remember ..." His
voice trailed off and his eyes lost their focus.
I forgot the button. I shook him. "What do you
remember?"
Suddenly it was the most important thing in the
Creation to know what was in his memory. It had
not been an easy life, living beside a brother I
wanted for my husband. But never, in all these
years, had I allowed an incestuous gesture or
word to pass between us, for my sake as well as
his.
Tern's gaze took on a faraway quality as he

struggled back to that time aboard the Pandora
when my mother and the Creation had touched me.
But perhaps I misunderstood the depth of his
vision. A sudden clarity entered his voice, a tone I
had never heard before, even as the blood contin-

ued to drain from his body.
"I remember a beach in a place called Hawaii,"
he said softly. "It was a tropical island. You were
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CHRISTOPHER PIKE
lying beside me in the sand and I was pretending to
sleep. And you leaned over and whispered in my
ear that you were going to see me again after the
week was over. You didn't know how but you swore
you would."
I wept. "Yeah. I said, 'You're not getting away
from me.'"
He smiled again, faintly. "Yes, That's it." He
paused. "Did that really happen? It seems so real."
My tears splashed over his face. "Yes, Tern. I
happened. It was real. It was another life. This is

not the first time you and I have been together."
His gaze was again distant. "I see something else.
A huge red sun, an endless plain choked with dust.

The sun is going down and we're sitting on a bluff
and everything around us is so still, so quiet. We

can't even hear ourselves breathing. And I say
to you, Time is nothing to us, Paige.' And you
agree. You say, This moment is forever.'" He
stared at me with the innocence of a child, the
innocence of Alosha. "Did that really happen?" he
asked.
I squeezed his hands. "It will happen, Tern. We'll
meet again on that world. That's the earth. I'll see
you there and we'll talk about old times."
He was impressed. "The earth is still there? Our
home?"
"Yes, Tern. Our home is still there." Leaning
over, I kissed him on the forehead. The Creation
may have moved me then, but I suddenly knew he
174
was had to leave. I could not let my crew die.
right. I
I pressed the laser gun in his hands and whispered

in his ear. "I will never forget you."
He reached up and touched the side of my face.
"Never is a long time."

I pressed his hand to my cheek. There was blood
on it.
"Not for us," I said.
The highjacked Shamere warship was still far off

when I knew Tern was about to push the black
button. It may have been a telepathic message he
sent me. The certainty was strong enough. I radi-
oed ahead for my crew to get out of orbit. I would
do the same and rendezvous with them soon.
Shamere shuttles were not gravity compensated.
Bringing the small craft's twin thrusters up to full
power, I accelerated so rapidly I almost blacked

out. The stars spun — I didn't even know if I was
heading in the right direction.
Behind me there was a tremendous flash of light.
I was reminded of my lonely days aboard the
Traveler during the darkness after the stars died,
how the loneliness ended with a similar flash of
light, when the next Creation began. But this was
not the light of creation but the flames of destruc-
tion.
Still, there was great promise in it.
As the crust of Hydra-9 ruptured and the unim-

aginable energy of the mantle was liberated, the
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CHRISTOPHER PIKE
planet was torn apart and the Shamere fleet was
crushed. Smoothing out my own wobbly course
and watching the death of the Shamere Empire, I
thought that the last nightmare of mankind's child-
hood was finally over. Now the way was clear for
the third step on Alosha's seven-rung ladder. The
top still looked far away, but I believed as a people
we would now reach it.
My days as a warrior and an important person

were over. I returned to Ortega-6 and handed the
Shamere warship over to my superiors. There were

still a few Shamere vessels out in space causing
mischief, but their home base was gone and soon

they would fall. My superiors immediately set to
dismantling the warship and learning all its secrets.
They didn't need help from me.
My crew tried to tell what was left of humanity
that I was a hero, but it was an honor I managed to
avoid by living quietly alone and then leaving
Ortega-6 three years later and traveling incognito
through the galaxy aboard another exploratory
vessel. This one was called the Pulsar, and she
was fast, with her new hyperdrive, courtesy of

Shamere technology. Once again, I went by the
name of Alpha Book. It had begun to grow on
me.
We visited many planets, and I eventually
jumped ship at a planet called Cirgo-2, in the
Pleiades cluster. The place fascinated me because
176
there was an indigenous race of homo sapiens
already living there.Where they came from no one
could imagine, but they looked exactly like us
except for their light blue skin. As a race, they were
somewhat primitive. Thecomparison I
closest
could make would have been the
to their culture
early American Indians. They dressed and danced
like the ancient Hopis.
Yet to me they were far from primitive. There
were numerous tribes scattered over Cirgo-2, and
although their speech and individual customs var-
ied, they all lived peacefully together. In fact, the
planet was very much as North America must have
been before the white man arrived. There were lush
forests, breathtaking deserts, wide open plains, and
rugged mountain ranges.
I ended up staying with a tribe that lived between
the mountains and the desert. They were called the
Shanti and didn't mind my white skin. They ac-
cepted everything. Indeed, the whole concept of
space travel didn't impress them. According to
their colorful legends, their ancient ancestors used
to journey through space all the time. The Shanti
had simply given up the burden of the technology
when they became truly civilized. They were much
happier without it, they said, and I believed
them.
For the first time in a long time, I discovered I
was happy.
I learned their language effortlessly, and my days
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CHRISTOPHER PIKE
were simple. I awoke when the sun rose and worked
in the garden until noon. Then I swam in a nearby
river and ate a meal of ground corn and milk and
beans and fruit. These foods were similar to those
on earth, except the corn was always blue. Often I
hiked in the hills by myself, or else helped the
village men and women weave one of the many
tapestries that they were always producing.
Actually, I found the weaving addictive. I could
spend hours working on a new design. I seemed to
slip into a trance at such times, not noticing the
hours that passed. After a year or so in the Shanti
village, I found myself automatically weaving in the
images I glimpsed as the Creation had begun. The
mass of energy liberated at that time had not been

an incoherent blur. I seemed to remember it better
now, with eyes and a soul that were no longer
oppressed with the burden of a seemingly impossi-
ble destiny. How the whirlpools of gas had formed
into glorious mandalas as they began to cool into
galaxies. How the stars had glimmered like pol-
ished jewels as they took birth in the black nebula.
All these visions wove into my tapestries, and as I
I
did so, I would have moments where I could feel

the presence of Alosha. Sometimes I thought the
cosmic being would speak. But if it did, it did so in
silence.
The village people whispered among themselves
as I laid my tapestries out on the cool sand to be
admired. I was white — I was from another star
178
system. But that didn't impress them. My tapes-
tries did, however. I wasn't sure why.
One day the village chief came to me as was I
returning from a long hike in the hills. He was

actually only chief in title — he never ordered any-
one to do anything. If he had done so, the rest of the
tribe probably would have laughed at him. The
Shanti didn't have many rules, and only had a chief
for special occasions. He would sometimes decide
which god they should dance to on a particular
holiday. But if the tribe didn't like his suggestion,
he was quick to change his mind. He was tall and
old and he had a radiant smile, although he was
missing a few front teeth. He always seemed espe-
cially fond of me.
"Alpha," he said. "I have received an important
invitation from our High Elder. He would like to
meet you in his cave."

I had not heard the High Elder title before.
"Where is his cave?"
The chief nodded to the tall mountains to our
east. "Up there. It's a five-day hike from here. I
would accompany you there, but it isn't allowed.

But I can draw you a map and help you gather
supplies for the journey. It's far but the way isn't
dangerous."
I laughed. "Wait a second. I don't know if I want
to go. Five days of walking up a mountain to meet
an old man I don't know. That doesn't sound like
fun."
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CHRISTOPHER PIKE
The chief was surprised at my tone. "The High
Elder is not old. We call him Elder because he is
wiser than the rest of us. But it's important, Alpha,

that you see him. He seldom sends an invitation to
speak to anyone. It's considered a great honor that
he's chosen you."

"But why does he want to see me? Is it because
I'm not from here?"
"Oh no. That's unimportant. It's because of your
tapestries."
I laughed again. I did so more often those days.
"What's so special about my tapestries?" I asked.
The chief's eyes grew wide. "The Elder has seen a
couple of them. He says they contain the secrets of
life."
I thought for a moment. How could the Elder

know that?
"I'll go see this man," I told the chief.
I set off the next morning. Almost immediately,

as I hiked into the mountains, a remarkable thing
happened. Something totally unexpected and very
disturbing.
It was usual for me to be gone an entire day
hiking alone in the hills. I preferred to be alone
when I hiked. I loved to listen to the wind in the
trees, to soak up the smell of the flowers, to feel the
dirt beneath my feet.
Yet this time as I walked into the mountains, I
felt heavy at heart. I realized quickly it was because
180
I was sad to be leaving the Shanti. They had been
my family for the past year, and even though I knew
I would see them again in a few days, I felt as if I
was being cut off from my security net. In fact,

much to my horror, I began to feel the exact
emotions I had when I first left the earth, when I
said goodbye to Tern. I knew it was ridiculous but I
couldn't will the emotions away. Yet it had been
years since such feelings plagued me. And I thought
I was over such mundane human sentiment. Tears
formed in my eyes and I kept glancing over my

shoulder, hoping to find perhaps that the chief or
one of the women of the village had decided to
follow me.
But there was no one there.
The whole first day of my hike, I felt terribly
alone.
That night I camped
in a rocky hollow, where
there was from the wind. Staring up at the
shelter
stars, I though of all the loved ones I had lost up
there. What were they now? Stardust, floating at-

oms in cosmic currents that circled the galaxy once
every million years. No matter how hard I tried to
hold on to love, I thought, the Creation had taken it
away. Yet I couldn't stop gazing at the stars. They

were so beautiful, and I craved the feeling of
nostalgia they brought. At least they were real, I
thought.
I dreamed of Tern, Kabrina, and my father that
night.
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CHRISTOPHER PIKE
The next day I felt lighter. Indeed, I wondered
about my emotional attack the previous day as the
mountain peaks ahead drew me. There was a new
bounce in my step, new energy in my stride. No
longer did I look back. I was anxious to find the
High Elder, to speak to him about my life. I hoped
perhaps he could shed some light on why I had been
chosen to live so long, and suffer the death of the
same love again and again.
That night I camped near a cave. I built myself a
fire to keep warm and make my tea. To my surprise,
several small animals gathered at the perimeter of

the light cast by the burning logs. They were similar
to raccoons, foxes, and squirrels. Once again I was
puzzled about how so many of the species of earth
appeared in almost the same form on this world. I
did not believe the Shanti's tales of past space

adventures. From experience, I knew that many
primitive tribes boasted of the incredible abilities
of their ancient ancestors.
These animals seemed unafraid of my fire. It was
only after a while I realized their desire for my food
outweighed any reservations they had about the
crackling logs. Holding out pieces of bread, I
coaxed the animals to my side. Soon I had a whole

group of critters sharing my evening meal. They felt
like family to me. I loved each of them, and made
sure that each was given something to eat. Their
warm fuzzy faces, as they stared at me, filled me
with love.
182
My third day of hiking was meditative. I didn't
look around. I kept walking, kept my focus on my
breathing. Several times during the day, I felt the
presence of Alosha. That night I built another fire,
in a meadow in a thick part of the forest, and
worked on a small tapestry. It was to be of Tern,
and I struggled with it at first, unable to decide how
to portray him. But then a voice seemed to speak
from inside me. Relax, Paige, weave what comes.
There is no need to think too much about it. There
is really no need to think at all.
I worked half the night, lost between waking and
dreaming. All the time I felt both charged with

inspiration and deeply relaxed. In the morning I
was stunned to see how rich the tapestry was. It was
—
one of my finest the colors and composition
combined to form magic. Tern was sitting on a rock
on the other side of a tidal pool, staring down into
the blue water, which splashed with life. It was a
classic scene, yet the expression on his face in-
trigued me. I don't know if I could have consciously
decided on was a cross between that of
it. It
the mischievous youngman I had met in the park

and the omniscient god I had found on dying
earth.
But his eyes were leftincomplete. I had faltered
when it came to them. They would be the hardest
part, if I was ever to finish it.
But I thought, if I completed the tapestry in time,

I could give it to the High Elder. Several times,
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CHRISTOPHER PIKE
while hiking, I had regretted not bringing a gift for
him.
The fourth dayI began to have trouble with the
chief's map. Before leaving I questioned him about

it, but he kept reassuring me that there was no
chance of my getting lost. Now it looked more than
likely. The map said I was to turn left when I came
to the Three-Headed Hills and then when I
right
reached the Wolf Tree. Well, I did find some hills
that had three peaks, but they didn't resemble three
heads. Then I came to a tree that was kind of scary
looking, but I only turned right there because there
was no other tree in the vicinity. For the next few
miles, I figured my journey had been in vain
because I was surely lost in the mountains. Briefly I
wondered if I would be able to find my way back to
the Shanti village.
But then, out of the blue, I didn't care. was I
following the map as well as I possibly could and

couldn't allow myself any regrets. I understood my
responsibility was to try, as best as possible, to get
to the cave. That was it. With this understanding
my mind was put totally at ease. I wasn't responsi-
ble for whether I succeeded or failed in my mission.
If the High Elder was anxious to meet me, and he
was so wise, he could find me.

That night, my fourth in the mountains, I slept
deeply.
On the fifth day I became preoccupied with the
idea of writing a book about my life. The possibility
184
had occurred to me before, of course, but had I
always dismissed it because I didn't think anyone

would believe what I had to say. As I walked, I
began to understand that I hadn't recorded my

story because I was afraid of being ridiculed. And
here I had always convinced myself I was too
humble to seek out the spotlight. Now I understood
that to move center stage required courage. That
others could learn from my experiences. God
knows I had learned from them.
That day I cut my hike short and started on this
story with paper and a pen from the Jubilee. The
whole time with the Shanti, I had kept the station-
ery tools close to me, perhaps superstitiously, still
half believing that I owed Tern another letter. But
now as I sat down beside a roaring fire, I began to
write him a real love letter. My whole life had been
an uninterrupted act of loving him. Tears came as I
wrote, but notall were sad. Many were stirred by
feelings of gratitude. So often during my chaotic

life I had believed myself cursed by God. Now I saw
that I had been incredibly lucky. The fact that I was
still alive said it all.
On the sixth day I drew close to where the High

Elder was supposed to live. The chief's map had
turned out to be accurate, after all, and my faith in
it had been rewarded. I came to the Seven
Waterfalls — as described — and then turned right
at the Bald Rock, which did indeed look like a bald
man's head. From there I only had to follow a
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CHRISTOPHER PIKE
ravine that would dead end at the High Elder's
cave. There was no chance of getting lost now.
Another realization swept over me as I hurried
forward. They were somewhat embarrass-
getting
ing with their frequency. Perhaps the thin moun-
tain air was affecting my brain, although I did feel
alert and full of energy.
Finally, I saw that there had never been a chance
of getting lost. I just knew this. I couldn't explain
how I Something had been guiding me
knew it. all
along. Perhaps it had been the High Elder.

I knew I was reaching the end of the path.
The walls of the ravine grew high on both sides.
But the big man was not there when I reached the
cave.
There was only a boy, maybe ten years old. He
was gathering herbs when I arrived. He looked up
and smiled at my approach. He had a pleasant
expression. His skin was a much deeper blue than
the average Shanti. I wondered if he was from
another tribe. His hair was long and dark, his big
eyes as black as deep space. I held out my hand as I
walked up to him. We shook hands on many —
planets throughout the galaxy it was the best way to
say hello.
"My name is Paige Christian," I said in my
best Shanti. "I was told by the chief of the Shanti
to come here. I heard the High Elder wants to
talk to me." I gestured to the cave. "Is he in
there?"
186
The boy shook his head. "No. He is not there."
"Is he in the area somewhere?"
"Yes."
"Do you know when he will return?"
"Soon."
"Today maybe?"
"Maybe. He never goes far when he leaves." The
boy gestured to the cave. "May I make you some
tea?"
"Yes, thank you. I'm tired from my long hike."
"Let me take your bag," he said, reaching out. He
was not a tall boy but he was well muscled. I let him
take my supplies.
"Thank you," I said again. "What is your
name?"
"Keshava."
"I like that name. Does it mean something in
particular?"
"Long haired."
"Well, that's perfect for you. You have very long
hair."
He smiled shyly. "You have red hair."
I brushed my hair out of my eyes. "Yeah, and I
have white skin. I bet you haven't seen many like

me around here."
We walked toward the cave opening. "There have
been a few like you," he remarked.
"Really?" I was astounded. "When?"
"A long time ago," he said.
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CHRISTOPHER PIKE
Keshava made me tea and we relaxed by the fire
at the mouth of the cave. I chatted about my

adventures along the road and he listened patient-
ly. He had a particular way of staring at me that
made my words flow freely. But after a while it
began to get dark, and my disappointment at not
seeing the High Elder was stronger than I could

have imagined. A sense of loneliness returned. Not
wishing to bother the boy, I reached for my bag.
I took out my tapestry. I thought if I could finish
the thing tonight, I could give it to the High
Elder tomorrow, assuming the man showed up. I
wanted him to see Tern with his own eyes, through
my eyes. Keshava stared at my tapestry without
blinking.
"That is very nice," he said.
"Thank you." I spread it on the ground between
us. The sun had just set; it was going to be a cold
night. We were at a high elevation. Indeed, the air
suddenly seemed as thin as it had on earth at the
end of time. Not that I experienced any trouble
breathing. I smoothed out my work of art. I could
have been watching a movie of the two of us sitting
beside the I tried to push away the mental
fire.
image but was stubborn. I nodded to Tern's face

it
on the tapestry. 'Tin having trouble with the eyes,"

I said.
"Why do you say that?" Keshava asked.
"I'm just dissatisfied with the way they are.
They're incomplete somehow. But Fd like to
188
"

finish it tonight, if I could, and give it to the High
Elder."
"Then finish it."
I sighed as I stared at Tern's face. "I don't think I
can."
"Why not?"
I smiled to myself. "I think I'm still too close to
the subject matter to see it clearly."
"What you wish the most, clouds your vision the
most."
I glanced up.
4
'What you most wish for, what you most hope

for — that is your greatest illusion. The greatest
barrier that separates you from the Creation.
"Did the High Elder say that?" I asked.
"Yes."
"That's interesting. I heard it before some-
where." I paused. "Your master must be very
wise."
The boy continued to stare at me. "You're wise."
I chuckled. "I don't think so." I started to put the
tapestry away. "I know nothing."
Keshava stopped me. "No. Finish the work.
You're almost done." He added, "It would be a
shame not to finish when you're so close."
Something in his voice made me pause. "But I
I don't know how to do the eyes."
told you,
"What do you want in the eyes?" he asked.
"A certain light." I shrugged. "I saw it once
before, but it's hard to remember exactly what it
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CHRISTOPHER PIKE
was like." I closed my eyes and put my hand to my
head, feeling a pressure there. "It was a long time
ago, Keshava."
"Paige," he said softly.
"Yes?" I opened my eyes and glanced at him. He
—
had a special way of speaking it was almost as if I
heard his voice inside my head. "What is it?"
"It wasn't so long ago," he said.
"What wasn't? That I saw this light? Yeah, it was.

It would be hardto explain how long ago it actually
was."
"No." He leaned forward and touched my hand.
His fingers were remarkably warm. The warmth
traveled up my arm and into my heart. I felt the
chill of the approaching night recede. "You're
almost done," he repeated. "You can see the light
whenever you choose to see it."
"Oh God," I whispered, finally understanding. I
could not tear my gaze from him. I didn't want to.
His black eyes abruptly swelled, until I felt as if I
was staring into the abyss before the Creation

began. This was not a simple boy who sat across
from me. He was the High Elder, a being who was
one with the Creation. There was unfathomable
darkness inside him, but also effulgent light. I could
see both extremes in his luminous eyes. And I
understood the meaning of his words. He was
asking me to place what was inside his eyes into the
tapestry, into the fabric of my own life.
He blinked once, probably on purpose, and I
190
finally caught my breath, and was able to speak
again. "You're him/' I gasped.
"As are you. There is only one of us." He paused.
"You are very near the Creation, Paige Christian."
I shook my head. "No. I'm lost in it. I haven't
completed the seven steps that were spoken of

before. I don't even know what the last five steps
are."
"But you do. You told them to me this evening.
You experienced each of them on the walk here."
"No. I don't understand." I reached for his hand.
"Will you help me understand, Keshava?"
"I can only tell you what you already know. That
is why the Creation did not tell you and your
friends all the steps earlier. They would have made

no sense to you." He paused. "Now you are wise.
You can recite them to me."
I felt humbled. Bowing my head, I spoke in a
whisper, knowing he would hear me clearly

enough.
"I am unworthy to tell you anything," I said.
"Please, you speak."
"As you wish." He paused. "Discrimination is
first. Through all your trials, you have learned this
well. Even to come here, you had to leave behind

that which gave you comfort. But you dropped
your attachment to the unreal and you kept walk-
ing. You knew there was a greater reality in front of
you, that which does not change. The Creation.

"Then there is kindness, giving, service. These
are words for the same thing. Kindness is strongest
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CHRISTOPHER PIKE
when discrimination is firmly established. Then
you give without expectation of reward. On the way
here you gave to little animals, and only because
you loved them.
'The third step is spiritual practice. All practice
has one goal — and come closer to that
to go inside
which does not change. This is meditation. Your
meditation is weaving your tapestries. As you do
so, you lose all sense of body consciousness. Specif-
ic practices may vary, but they all have this goal.
For a long time now, you have been a master of the
third step.
"The fourth step is faith, an intuitive trust in the
You had to have that faith to
design of the Creation.
accomplish what you did in your life. You had to
have faith to follow your map and reach this spot.
The fact that you now sit before me means you
have passed this difficult test.
"The fifth step what you have learned to
is to give
those who don't know it. To rise to the top of the
ladder, you must turn and help lift up those below
you. Your story does that. It is the reason you write
it. You have compassion for those who struggle on
the path.
"The sixth step is said to be the most difficult,
but you have already conquered it. It is the illusion

of doership. People think they act, they think they
decide. This keeps them bound. In reality, the
Creation carries out all manner of things. Every-
thing is destined. But this knowledge only comes to

one who nears the end of the path. At the beginning
192
of the search, it can lead to confusion. So I tell you
this in private. It is not something to share with
everyone. But you have seen again and again that
you do not act."
I nodded. "I could not even shoot myself outside
the library, although I tried."
He was not possible." He paused. "It
agreed. "It
took you six days to climb this mountain. Each day
you relived one step on the path. Now the day
grows late. Soon, as the world turns and the stars
change, another day will begin. You have come to
the seventh step. I can give it to you now. It is only
now that it will have meaning for you. Before the
first six steps are mastered, the seventh step is
meaningless. For it is the most simple step of them
all, and also the most profound. Listen attentively,
itcan only be imparted by a man or woman who is
one with the Creation." He paused. "Would you
like me to give it to you now?"
I bowed again. "Yes. If you feel I'm worthy."
He gestured for me to stare into his eyes. "Look
deep, Paige Christian. See yourself in my eyes. See
yourself as I see you. The seventh step is a child's
expression." He paused again, and a long time
seemed to seep into that pause. It was as if it were a
crack in the eternal flow of evolution. For a mo-
ment I saw the black between the death and birth of
the stars, then there was a flash. It came out of the
depth of his eyes, from a place I thought I alone had
seen.
But he had seen it as well. He spoke softly.
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CHRISTOPHER PIKE
"You are the Creation."
I tried to move my head. To shake it. To say no.
"You are the Creation/' he repeated.

No. Not me. I am just a lonely young woman.
But then, staring into his amazing eyes, I didn't
feel so lonely.
In fact, I suddenly felt as if I belonged to all
things.
"You are the Creation," he said a third time.
Finally, I believed him.
Seven days I left the mountains and moved

later
into the desert, far from the Shanti village. Moving
effortlessly across the wide expanse of the sand, I
felt no need to rest or drink. The sun burned before
me. The desert was much hotter than the moun-

tains or the Shanti homeland. But as I moved, I
smiled and sang to myself and enjoyed the simple
pleasures of breathing and being alive.
Time passed, maybe a little, maybe a lot.
The sand beneath changed to blood red. The sun
also turned a sober crimson and swelled in size so
that dwarfed the horizon. I could stare at it
it
without pain. This world suddenly seemed so old

but there was a satisfaction in the ancient feeling. It
was good life were finished and everything

as if a
that had been planned at the beginning had been
accomplished.
Dust stirred before me, tossed by an unexpected
gust, and a shape took form in a dark cloud. The
matter metamorphosed to life, and there was a
194
person. He nodded and walked toward me. I held
out my arm in welcome and when he was close
enough he took my hand.
"Alosha," he said.
I had to smile. "Tern."
He put his finger to my lips. "Shh. No one is

supposed to know."
Holding hands, we turned and walked into the
sunset.
Look for Christopher Pike's
The Last Vampire 4: Phantom
Coming mid- April 1996
195
—
About the Author

CHRISTOPHER PIKE was born in Brooklyn,
New York, but grew up in Los Angeles, where he
lives to this day. Prior to becoming a writer, he
worked in a factory, painted houses, and pro-
grammed computers. His hobbies include as-
tronomy, meditating, running, playing with his
nieces and nephews, and making sure his books
are prominently displayed in local bookstores.
He is the author of Last Act, Spellbound, Gimme
a Kiss, Remember Me, Scavenger Hunt, Final
Friends 1, 2, and 3, Fall into Darkness, See You
Later, Witch, Die Softly, Bury Me Deep, Whisper
of Death, Chain Letter 2: The Ancient Evil,
Master of Murder, Monster, Road to Nowhere,
The Eternal Enemy, The Immortal, The Wicked
Heart, The Midnight Club, The Last Vampire,
The Last Vampire 2: Black Blood, The Last
Vampire 3: Red Dice, Remember Me 2: The
Return, Remember Me 3: The Last Story, The
Lost Mind, The Visitor, and The Starlight Crys-
tal all available from Archway Paperbacks.
Slumber Party, Weekend, Chain Letter, and Sati
— an adult novel about a very unusual lady
are also by Mr. Pike.
Christopher Pike presents . .
a frighteningJy fun new series for

your younger brothers and sisters!
The creepiest stories in town. .
1 The Secret Path

53725-3/S3.99
2 The Howlina Ghost
53726-1/$3$9
3 The Haunted Cave
53727-X/$3.99
4 Aliens in the Sky
*
53728-8/$3.99
5 The Cold People
r
55064-0/$3.99
By Christopher Pike
laMinstrb;book
Published by Pocket Books
Simon & Schuster Mafi Order
200 OH Tappan Rd, Old Tappan, MJ. 07575
Please send me the bocte I have checked above. I em enclosing $__(please add $0.75 to ewer the postage
and hanJng lor each onto. Please add appropriate sales tax). Send check or money order-no cash or C.OB.'s
fteasa Hon up to six weeks lor detvery. For purchase over $10.00 you may use VISA; cart number, expiration
date and customer signature must be included.
CHy Stataffip
VISACard* ExpJ)ale .
Signature 117W1
Don't Miss These Gripping Page-turners
by the Master of Young Adult Mystery/Suspense Thrillers
LAST ACT.. ..^ .^...73683-3/$3.99 D MASTER OF MURDER.,^... eQQ5^m.99

SPELLBOUND...... „.73681-7/$a99 DMQNSWR..^ I....74507-7/$3.99
D GIMME A KISS.. „73682-5/$a99 DROADfONbwflkRE. 74508-5/$3.99
D REMEMBER ME .73685-X/$8.99 D7H£E7EHAML£W£IIV:.....74509-3^3.99
D SOAVAUGER HUNT.. 73686-6/$a99 OOESOFTLY. 69056^$a99

D FAUfNTOMRJ^E^^TdSM-m.^ U BURY ME DEEP. j69057-4/$3.99
D SEE YOU LATER. LZ&tofcM* gjjfHISPE^F DEATH. JS9058-2/$3.99

*
D WITCH. 69055^$a99 OCHAIN1&7ER2: **

THE ANCIENT EVIL 74506-9y$a99
D THE WICKED HEAR1\papetb*X) .7451 1-5/$3.99
nTHEMIDNIGHTCLUBfpapetback)..^ 87263-X/$a99
q THE LAST K>MfPfflE(par*Hback) .... 87264-8/$3.99
D REMEMBER ME 2: THE RETURN (paperback) 87265-6/$3.99
D REMEMBER ME 3: THE LAST STORY (paperback) £7267-2/$3.99
q THE LAST VAMPIRE 2: BLACK BLOOD (paperback) 87266-4/$a99
D THE LAST VAMPIRE 3: RED DICE (paperback) 8726&fl/$3.99
q THELOSTNBND (hardcover) 87261 -3//$1 4.00
q THELOSTMIND (paperback).... .87269-9ft3.99
D THE VISITOR (hardcover) u- 87262-1/$14.00
n THE VISITOR (paperback) 87270-2/$a99
D THE STARLIGHT CRYSTAL (hardcover) .....55029-2/$14.00
q THE STARLIGHT CRYSTAL (paperback) „..55028-4/$a98
Simon* Schuster Mafl Order

200 Old Tappen Rd, OM Tappan, NJ. 07675
Please send me the books I have <*ected above, larcendosftq l (otase addSO.75 to cover tttoostapa and hanJng tor
each order. Please add appropriate sates to). Sand check or money order-no cash or (XOD.'s phase. Alow up to six weeks tor
defray. Faptfc!a»0¥er$1Qjffl)wrnayu5eVl^cart
Name
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Signature ._, 785-11

»N PUBLIC LIBRARY
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C*^«
jlCp i
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Q #1 Amulet of Doom
53637-0/$3.99
and look for

#2 Spirits and Spells
Coming mid-March 1 996
From Archway Paperbacks

Simon & Schuster Mafi Order

200 OdTappan Rd.OldTappan, NJ. 07675
Please send me the books have checked above.
I I am enclosing $_
and hawing tor each order Ptease acU appropriate sates tax). Send check a money order-no cash or C.O.D/s
please. Allow up to six weeks for deJvery. For purchase over $10.00 you may use VISA: card number, expiration
dale and customer signature must be included.
Name
Address
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VISACardf. Exp.Date .
Signature 1194
BRIGHTON BRANCH LIBRARY
Look for the

next thrilling novel by
opt*
The Last
Vampire 4
Phantom
Coming in mid-April 1 996
From Archway Paperbacks
u
The secret mission lasted forever.
It is two hundred years in the future. Eighteen-
r year-old Paige Christian has been given a chance to

—
r join the crew of the Traveler a special spaceship
designed to circle the solar system at near light
\rears on earth. The Traveler is a time capsule as

well as a spaceship. Its purpose is to study the
changes on earth throughout two centuries, and
tjien return home.
But something happens to the Traveler.

Something also happens to the earth, an awful
thing. And the years pass, billions of them, and still
Paige Christian lives, and remembers all those she
behind. Until the day she finally does come
left
home, to a world and a future no human being
could have imagined.
ISBN 0-671-55028-4
55028>
o 76714"00399 6

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Author of The Visitor

and The Lost Mind

She lived until

Yet my love was the ghost of a young girl's dream. It

The young girl with the ancient dream wept. I could

needed to forget her.

For orders other than by individual consumers, Archway

For information on how individual consumers can place

:its cover is unauthorized. If you purchased

du should be aware that it was reported to

This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and

AN ARCHWAY PAPERBACK Original

An Archway Paperback published by

Copyright © 1996 by Christopher Pike

All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce

First Archway Paperback printing February 1996

Cover art by Mark Garro

Printed in the U.S.A.

How do I explain a life that has lasted for billions of

believe the stars have cursed me for trying to

But I knew nothing. That day we met.

It was a Sunday. I was at the library reading

soaking up water. The machine consisted of head-

The screen was not a screen in the traditional

decided I would have been very happy to be alive

song from a group called Heavy Balloon. Some-

she said in a soft voice. "I met you a couple years

but that's all." I didn't really know her face. But

do remember you." She pointed to the park. "I was

teenager from the late twentieth century would

At least But then Tern appeared.

He came right up out of the water. He wore scuba

might give me toad warts."

"The cost sounds a little high to me." I paused.

except when I was standing beside a cute guy. I was

sometimes wondered if he said that because I had

vanity was never one of his weaknesses. Captain

needed to start a romance. I was a week away from

year. Einstein's Theory of Relativity would see to

I wanted to tell Tern right then as he kissed my

that had no beginning or end. I felt happy right

warmth. For some reason, I was afraid to connect

letters." Because I had to, I added, "You'll be

I nodded. "I promise, Tern. But you must prom-

ise you won't forget me."

pocket and cut off a lock of my red hair. I gave it to

Finally I had to pull away. My watch demanded

shoulder only once, but he stood with his back to

etched in the twilight of a youth who had never

do an exotic dance. It was a time capsule as well as

We could only receive messages from earth when

one smart cookie. He had figured out the most

I wondered if I would know it. The actual instant

didn't remember. My mother had perished from an

in his outer build. He was stocky but not short. His

order. His glance said more than most peoples'

form, as did most relations of officers. Purple was

me. I had begged.

"I had a lovely time," I said.