Birth Order and Personality

Birth order and personality
Birth order is considered by some researchers and psychologists to be one of the

most powerful influences on personality, along with genetics, gender, temperament
and parenting styles.
The firstborn child: The high achiever

Eldest children tend to be high achievers and leaders who may be controlling and
bossy and likely to take on responsibility.
They seek approval, are usually perfectionists, and tend to have more in common
with other firstborns than their own siblings.
First-borns tend to be:

● High achievers
● Perfectionists
● Responsible
● Goal-setters
● Determined
● Rule keepers
● Detail people
Eg: Dan Rather; Joe Biden; Oprah Winfrey
The second and middle child: The peacemaker
Second and middle children are more likely to be the peacemaker of the family, are
good at negotiating and are more willing to go with the flow.
They seek attention and often have more friends than the firstborn children to
compensate for a lack of family attention.
Seconds and middles tend to be:

● Peacemakers
● Diplomatic
● Flexible
● Free spirits
● Generous
● Competitive
Eg: Julia Roberts; Tim Allen; President Donald Trump
The youngest child: The outgoing charmer
Youngest children tend to be more outgoing and charming to get attention, yet have
a greater sense of independence.
They tend to have more freedom and are subsequently more likely to try new things
and do what they want to do.
The youngest children tend to be:

● Charmers
● Risk-takers
● Outgoing
● Persistent
● Ideas people
● Creative
● Challenge authority
Eg: Jay Leno; Steve Martin; Goldie Hawn
"Birth order accounts for the differences between kids within families," parenting
expert and author Michael Grose said.
"Most parents sometimes throw their hands up in the air wondering why their first
and their second are so different.
"They may be the same gender, born two years apart, have the same educational
experience yet they're as different as chalk and cheese.
"That's where birth order comes in."
Only Children: Mini adults

Eg: Basketball Star Kareem Abdul-Jabbar; vice president (1920) — Franklin Delano
Roosevelt; Former Second Lady Tipper Gore;
Only Child Personality Traits:
● • May relate better to adults than peers

● Like being the center of attention
● • Mature
● Dependable
● • Sensitive
● • Perfectionistic
● • Natural born leaders
● Spoiled
● Self-absorbed
● Confident
-Only Child: Strengths & Challenges
+Strengths
● • Flexible
● Intelligent
● • Creative
+Challenges
● Can be antisocial
● May be spoiled
● May have low self-esteem or struggle with anxiety
Exceptions to the roles:

Gender: Gender two children of the same gender born in quick succession can
act like firstborn and that's true whether it's two boys or whether it's two girls.
Another area where gender can throw off birth order roles is when one gender is
valued more highly or is favoured more than the other and it doesn't matter which
gender is favoured but if one gender is favoured over another that can throw off birth
order roles within the family. Another is that if there are two children of different
genders born one right after another they can both take on first-born roles.
The age difference between siblings: If you have siblings that are one to two
years apart there can be conflict and competition between those siblings especially
if those siblings are the same gender. If you have a family where there are siblings
born five or more years apart that's considered a new start or a new family and
typical birth order roles don't apply the older children will form their own birth order
roles and the younger children will essentially be their own sibling group. Research
actually shows that the ideal age difference between siblings is three to four years.
Physical attributes between siblings can also throw off traditional birth order
roles. If you have close and age siblings, a younger child who eventually outgrows or
outsmarts older siblings can take on more of a firstborn role. You can also see that
when younger siblings are stronger than their older siblings.
Temperament can also throw off traditional birth order roles. If you have a
younger sibling who has a stronger more confident temperament than an older
sibling, it can throw off or perhaps blur that traditional birth order status or those
traditional birth order roles.
Special qualities: If you have a sibling who overachieves in school or is

exceptional in dance or music or sports, that can throw off traditional birth order
roles. If you have a family where there is a disabled sibling, that can also throw off
traditional birth order roles and grandparents living in the home can also shift the
roles. If the grandparent or grandparents give one child extra attention or take on a
caregiver role and that's true if the grandparent takes on a caregiver role or if the
grandchild perhaps steps in and begins to help care for ageing grandparents.
Twins are another exception to traditional birth order roles and traditional birth
order roles don't apply to twins. They are their own entity, they have their own ways
of communicating. They have their own ways of relating to each other and to the
family dynamic that sort of defying traditional birth order roles.
Blended families also pose a bit of a challenge in defining roles within a family so
traditional birth order roles may not apply in a blended family. It takes time for
siblings in blended families to find their places and to adjust to a new dynamic so
sibling roles develop over time and they can be a bit complicated and more complex
than traditional sibling roles.
Another exception to traditional birth order roles is the death of a sibling. The death
of a child within a family can certainly change where the surviving children are in
relation to each other but also parents and other relatives and friends may adapt to
the death of a child by overindulging surviving children and there can also be a
tendency to glorify the child who has died.
Adoption can also change or challenge traditional birth order roles. If a couple has
struggled to have a child, the adopted child can be very spoiled by the parents. For
established families, an adopted child may struggle to fit in and to find a place within
the existing family dynamic. And another struggle that adopted children face often is
this struggle with feeling like they aren't wanted by their biological parents and that
they may not fit with their biological siblings. Especially, if their biological siblings are
being raised by other families and struggling to fit in with their adopted siblings can
be an equally big challenge for adopted children.

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Birth order and personality

Birth order is considered by some researchers and psychologists to be one of the

The firstborn child: The high achiever

First-borns tend to be:

Seconds and middles tend to be:

The youngest children tend to be:

Eg: Jay Leno; Steve Martin; Goldie Hawn

"That's where birth order comes in."

Only Children: Mini adults

Only Child Personality Traits:

● • May relate better to adults than peers

-Only Child: Strengths & Challenges

Exceptions to the roles:

Special qualities: If you have a sibling who overachieves in school or is

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