DEVELOPMENTAL STAGES

Developmental Stage Characteristics

Pre-natal (Conception to birth) Age when hereditary endowments and sex are
fixed and all body features, both external and
internal are developed.
Infancy (Birth to 2 years) Foundation age when basic behavior are organized
and many onto genic maturation skills are
developed.
Early Childhood Pre-gang age, exploratory, and questioning.
(2 to 6 years) Language and Elementary reasoning are acquired
and initial socialization is experienced.
Late Childhood Gang and creativity age when self-help skills, social
(6 to 12 years) skills, school skills, and play are developed.

Adolescence Transition age from childhood to adulthood when

(puberty to 18 years) sex maturation and rapid physical development
occur resulting to changes in ways of feeling,
thinking and acting.
Early Adulthood Age of adjustment to new patterns of life and roles
(18 to 40 years) such as spouse, parent and bread winner.
Middle Age Transition age when adjustments to initial physical
(40 to 60 retirement) and mental decline are experienced.
Old Age Retirement age when increasingly rapid physical
(Retirement to death) and mental decline are experienced.

HAVIGHURST`S DEVELOPMENTAL TASKS DURING THE LIFE SPAN

Robert J. Havighurst elaborated on the Developmental Tasks Theory in the most systematic and
extensive manner. His main assertion is that development is continuous throughout the entire
lifespan, occurring in stages, where the individual moves from one stage to the next by means
of successful resolution of problems or performance of developmental tasks. These tasks are
those that are typically encountered by most people in the culture where the individual
belongs. If the person successfully accomplishes and masters the developmental task, he feels
pride and satisfaction, and consequently earns his community or society’s approval. This
success provides a sound foundation which allows the individual to accomplish tasks to be
encountered at later stages. Conversely, if the individual is not successful at accomplishing a
task, he is unhappy and is not accorded the desired approval by society, resulting in the
subsequent experience of difficulty when faced with succeeding developmental tasks. This
theory presents the individual as an active learner who continually interacts with a similarly
active social environment. Havighurst proposed a bio psychosocial model of development,
wherein the developmental tasks at each stage are influenced by the individual’s biology
(physiological maturation and genetic makeup), his psychology (personal values and goals) and
sociology (specific culture to which the individual belongs).
Infancy and Early Middle Childhood (6-12)
Childhood (0-5)
• Learning to •
walk physical skills necessary for ordin
• Learning to •
take solid foods wholesome attitude toward ones
• Learning to •
talk along with age-mates
• Learning to •
control the elimination of body wastes appropriate sex role
• Learning sex •
differences and sexual modesty fundamental skills in reading, wr
• Acquiring •
concepts and language to describe social and physical reality concepts necessary for everyday
• Readiness •
for reading conscience, morality, and a scale
• Learning to •
distinguish right from wrong and developing a conscience personal independence
•
acceptable attitudes toward soci
Early Adulthood (19-30) Middle Adulthood (30-60)
• Selecting a •
mate teenage children to become happ
• Learning to •
live with a partner social and civic responsibility
• Starting a •
family career achievement
• Rearing •
children adult leisure time activities
• Managing a •
home one’s spouse as a person
• Starting an •
occupation physiological changes of middle a
• Assuming •
civic responsibility aging parent
THE PASSAGE TO ADULTHOOD: CHALLENGES OF LATE ADOLESCENCE
Physical Development
• Most girls have completed the physical
changes related to puberty by age 15.
• Boys are still maturing and gaining
strength, muscle mass, and height and are completing the development of sexual traits.
Emotional Development
• May stress over school and test scores.
• Is self-involved (may have high
expectations and low self-concept).
• Seeks privacy and time alone.
• Is concerned about physical and sexual
attractiveness.
• May complain that parents prevent him
or her from doing things independently.
• Starts to want both physical and
emotional intimacy in relationships.
• The experience of intimate partnerships
Social Development
• shifts in relationship with parents from
dependency and subordination to one that reflects the adolescent’s increasing maturity and
responsibilities in the family and the community,
• Is more and more aware of social
behaviors of friends.
• Seeks friends that share the same
beliefs, values, and interests.
• Friends become more important.
• Starts to have more intellectual
interests.
• Explores romantic and sexual behaviors
with others.
• May be influenced by peers to try risky
behaviors (alcohol, tobacco, sex).
Mental Development
• Becomes better able to set goals and
think in terms of the future.
• Has a better understanding of complex
problems and issues.
• Starts to develop moral ideals and to
select role models
“Stages of Human Development”
Sigmund Freud’s Psychosexual Theory
❖ Sigmund Freud (1856-1939 is a popular psychologist whose theory of human
development and personality sparked great interest, as well as controversy, due to its
biological orientation that focuses on the psychosexual development of an individual.
❖ He believed that early experiences are very important in human development
❖ The main source of life energy that finds its way in different parts of the body called
(erogenous zones or pleasure areas) which are sensitive to stimulation.
❖ Satisfaction of each area or zone is important to develop a healthy personality.
❖ Fixation occurs which is characterized by attachment to a particular object or activity
that may affect development.
❖ Adolescence is a development transition from childhood to adulthood: it involves
biological, cognitive and socioemotional changes. A key task of adolescence is a
preparation for adulthood. (Santrock, 2008)

Stage Approximate Focus Trait Outcomes

Period
Oral First year of life Oral pleasure through: Fixation can lead to
eating, sucking, overeating, drinking, nail-
mouthing, chewing and biting,
biting Gossiping and cursing
Anal Second to Fourth year Anal pleasure to release Fixation can lead to being
of life tension through the obsessive with cleaning or
anus: eliminating and hating mess (anal
retaining feces and retentive). The child may
toilet training eventually become a
perfectionist or be
obsessive- compulsive
Another possibility is to
become too generous in
adulthood that person
would want to share or
give things away (anal
expulsive). Moreover, the
child may become messy
or disorganized.

❖ Phallic Fourth to sixth year of Resolving fixations or The child starts to

life conflicts in previous recognize what it means to
stages; developing be a boy or a girl with their
 academic and social physical differences
skills , physical abilities conflicts arise due to
and talents greater emotional
attachment to one parent
over another. Attachment
of boy of to his mom
(Oedipus complex) and girl
to her dad ( Elektra
complex)

❖ Latency Seventh year- onward Resolving fixations or The child develops

conflicts in previous closeness with parents if
stages; developing conflict are resolved, and
academic and social builds social ties, sexual
skills , physical abilities urges are inhibited
and talents

❖ Genital Twelfth year Sex role identity Called puberty stage, this
formation is the period of
adolescence. Sexual
interest is awakened.
Erik Erikson's Stages of Psychosocial Development
Erik Erikson was an ego psychologist who developed one of the most popular and
influential theories of development. While his theory was impacted by
psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud's work, Erikson's theory centered on psychosocial
development rather than psychosexual development.
Psychosocial Stages: A Summary Chart
Age Conflict Important Events Outcome
Infancy (birth to 18 months) Trust vs. Mistrust Feeding Hope
Early Childhood (2 to 3 years) Autonomy vs. Shame and Toilet Training Will
Doubt
Preschool (3 to 5 years) Initiative vs. Guilt Exploration Purpose
School Age (6 to 11 years) Industry vs. Inferiority School Confidence
Adolescence (12 to 18 years) Identity vs. Role Confusion Social Relationships Fidelity
Young Adulthood (19 to 40 Intimacy vs. Isolation Relationships Love
years)
Middle Adulthood (40 to 65 Generativity vs. Stagnation Work and Care
years) Parenthood
Maturity (65 to death) Ego Integrity vs. Despair Reflection on Life Wisdom

Stage 1: Trust vs. Mistrust

The first stage of Erikson's theory of psychosocial development occurs between birth and 1 year
of age and is the most fundamental stage in life. Because an infant is utterly dependent,
developing trust is based on the dependability and quality of the child's caregivers.

At this point in development, the child is utterly dependent upon adult caregivers for
everything they need to survive including food, love, warmth, safety, and nurturing. If a
caregiver fails to provide adequate care and love, the child will come to feel that they cannot
trust or depend upon the adults in their life.

Outcomes

If a child successfully develops trust, the child will feel safe and secure in the world.2 Caregivers
who are inconsistent, emotionally unavailable, or rejecting contribute to feelings of mistrust in
the children under their care. Failure to develop trust will result in fear and a belief that the
world is inconsistent and unpredictable.

During the first stage of psychosocial development, children develop a sense of trust when
caregivers provide reliability, care, and affection. A lack of this will lead to mistrust.

No child is going to develop a sense of 100% trust or 100% doubt. Erikson believed that
successful development was all about striking a balance between the two opposing sides. When
this happens, children acquire hope, which Erikson described as an openness to experience
tempered by some wariness that danger may be present.

Subsequent work by researchers including John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth demonstrated the
importance of trust in forming healthy attachments during childhood and adulthood.

Trust vs. Mistrust: Learning to Trust the World Around Us

Stage 2: Autonomy vs. Shame and Doubt

The second stage of Erikson's theory of psychosocial development takes place during early
childhood and is focused on children developing a greater sense of personal control.

The Role of Independence

At this point in development, children are just starting to gain a little independence. They are
starting to perform basic actions on their own and making simple decisions about what they
prefer. By allowing kids to make choices and gain control, parents and caregivers can help
children develop a sense of autonomy.2

Potty Training

The essential theme of this stage is that children need to develop a sense of personal control
over physical skills and a sense of independence. Potty training plays an important role in
helping children develop this sense of autonomy.

Like Freud, Erikson believed that toilet training was a vital part of this process. However,
Erikson's reasoning was quite different than that of Freud's. Erikson believed that learning to
control one's bodily functions leads to a feeling of control and a sense of independence. Other
important events include gaining more control over food choices, toy preferences, and clothing
selection.

Outcomes

Children who struggle and who are shamed for their accidents may be left without a sense of
personal control. Success during this stage of psychosocial development leads to feelings of
autonomy; failure results in feelings of shame and doubt.

Finding Balance

Children who successfully complete this stage feel secure and confident, while those who do
not are left with a sense of inadequacy and self-doubt. Erikson believed that achieving a
balance between autonomy and shame and doubt would lead to will, which is the belief that
children can act with intention, within reason and limits.

How Autonomy vs. Shame and Doubt Influences Development

Stage 3: Initiative vs. Guilt

The third stage of psychosocial development takes place during the preschool years. At this
point in psychosocial development, children begin to assert their power and control over the
world through directing play and other social interactions.

Children who are successful at this stage feel capable and able to lead others. Those who fail to
acquire these skills are left with a sense of guilt, self-doubt, and lack of initiative.

Outcomes

The major theme of the third stage of psychosocial development is that children need to begin
asserting control and power over the environment. Success in this stage leads to a sense of
purpose. Children who try to exert too much power experience disapproval, resulting in a sense
of guilt.

When an ideal balance of individual initiative and a willingness to work with others is achieved,
the ego quality known as purpose emerges.

This Is How Children Develop a Sense of Initiative

Stage 4: Industry vs. Inferiority

The fourth psychosocial stage takes place during the early school years from approximately
ages 5 to 11. Through social interactions, children begin to develop a sense of pride in their
accomplishments and abilities.

Children need to cope with new social and academic demands. Success leads to a sense of
competence, while failure results in feelings of inferiority.

Outcomes

Children who are encouraged and commended by parents and teachers develop a feeling of
competence and belief in their skills. Those who receive little or no encouragement from
parents, teachers, or peers will doubt their abilities to be successful.

Successfully finding a balance at this stage of psychosocial development leads to the strength
known as competence, in which children develop a belief in their abilities to handle the tasks
set before them.
How Children Develop a Sense of Industry vs Inferiority

Stage 5: Identity vs. Confusion

The fifth psychosocial stage takes place during the often turbulent teenage years. This stage
plays an essential role in developing a sense of personal identity which will continue to
influence behavior and development for the rest of a person's life. Teens need to develop a
sense of self and personal identity. Success leads to an ability to stay true to yourself, while
failure leads to role confusion and a weak sense of self.

During adolescence, children explore their independence and develop a sense of self. 2 Those
who receive proper encouragement and reinforcement through personal exploration will
emerge from this stage with a strong sense of self and feelings of independence and control.
Those who remain unsure of their beliefs and desires will feel insecure and confused about
themselves and the future.

What Is Identity?

When psychologists talk about identity, they are referring to all of the beliefs, ideals, and values
that help shape and guide a person's behavior. Completing this stage successfully leads
to fidelity, which Erikson described as an ability to live by society's standards and expectations.

While Erikson believed that each stage of psychosocial development was important, he placed a
particular emphasis on the development of ego identity. Ego identity is the conscious sense of
self that we develop through social interaction and becomes a central focus during the identity
versus confusion stage of psychosocial development.

According to Erikson, our ego identity constantly changes due to new experiences and
information we acquire in our daily interactions with others. As we have new experiences, we
also take on challenges that can help or hinder the development of identity.

Why Identity Is Important

Our personal identity gives each of us an integrated and cohesive sense of self that endures
through our lives. Our sense of personal identity is shaped by our experiences and interactions
with others, and it is this identity that helps guide our actions, beliefs, and behaviors as we age.

How People Develop a Sense of Identity

Stage 6: Intimacy vs. Isolation

Young adults need to form intimate, loving relationships with other people. Success leads to
strong relationships, while failure results in loneliness and isolation. This stage covers the
period of early adulthood when people are exploring personal relationships.2
Erikson believed it was vital that people develop close, committed relationships with other
people. Those who are successful at this step will form relationships that are enduring and
secure.

Building On Earlier Stages

Remember that each step builds on skills learned in previous steps. Erikson believed that a
strong sense of personal identity was important for developing intimate relationships. Studies
have demonstrated that those with a poor sense of self tend to have less committed
relationships and are more likely to struggler with emotional isolation, loneliness, and
depression.

Successful resolution of this stage results in the virtue known as love. It is marked by the ability
to form lasting, meaningful relationships with other people.
Intimacy vs. Isolation: Forming Intimate Relationships With Others

Stage 7: Generativity vs. Stagnation

Adults need to create or nurture things that will outlast them, often by having children or
creating a positive change that benefits other people. Success leads to feelings of usefulness
and accomplishment, while failure results in shallow involvement in the world.

During adulthood, we continue to build our lives, focusing on our career and family. Those who
are successful during this phase will feel that they are contributing to the world by being active
in their home and community.2 Those who fail to attain this skill will feel unproductive and
uninvolved in the world.

Care is the virtue achieved when this stage is handled successfully. Being proud of your
accomplishments, watching your children grow into adults, and developing a sense of unity
with your life partner are important accomplishments of this stage.
How People Develop a Sense of Generativity vs Stagnation

Stage 8: Integrity vs. Despair

The final psychosocial stage occurs during old age and is focused on reflecting back on life. 2 At
this point in development, people look back on the events of their lives and determine if they
are happy with the life that they lived or if they regret the things they did or didn't do.

Erikson's theory differed from many others because it addressed development throughout the
entire lifespan, including old age. Older adults need to look back on life and feel a sense of
fulfillment. Success at this stage leads to feelings of wisdom, while failure results in regret,
bitterness, and despair.

At this stage, people reflect back on the events of their lives and take stock. Those who look
back on a life they feel was well-lived will feel satisfied and ready to face the end of their lives
with a sense of peace. Those who look back and only feel regret will instead feel fearful that
their lives will end without accomplishing the things they feel they should have.

Outcomes

Those who are unsuccessful during this stage will feel that their life has been wasted and may
experience many regrets. The person will be left with feelings of bitterness and despair.

Those who feel proud of their accomplishments will feel a sense of integrity. Successfully
completing this phase means looking back with few regrets and a general feeling of satisfaction.
These individuals will attain wisdom, even when confronting death.
An Overview of Integrity vs. Despair

Strengths and Weaknesses of Erikson's Theory

Erikson's theory also has its limitations and attracts valid criticisms. What kinds of experiences
are necessary to successfully complete each stage? How does a person move from one stage to
the next?

Criticism

One major weakness of psychosocial theory is that the exact mechanisms for resolving conflicts
and moving from one stage to the next are not well described or developed. The theory fails to
detail exactly what type of experiences are necessary at each stage in order to successfully
resolve the conflicts and move to the next stage.

Support

One of the strengths of psychosocial theory is that it provides a broad framework from which to
view development throughout the entire lifespan. It also allows us to emphasize the social
nature of human beings and the important influence that social relationships have on
development.

Researchers have found evidence supporting Erikson's ideas about identity and have further
identified different sub-stages of identity formation.4 Some research also suggests that people
who form strong personal identities during adolescence are better capable of forming intimate
relationships during early adulthood. Other research suggests, however, that identity formation
and development continues well into adulthood.5
A Word From Verywell

It is important to remember that the psychosocial stages are just one theory of how personality
develops. Some research may support certain aspects of this theoretical framework, but that
does not mean that every aspect of the theory is supported by evidence. The theory can,
however, be a helpful way to think about some of the different conflicts and challenges that
people may face as they go through life.
STRESS MANAGEMENT
Dictionary definitions do not quite capture the meaning of stress as it is seen and experienced
in the world of work. One of the Webster’s definitions describes it as an “…emotional factor
that causes bodily or mental tension.” A practical way of defining stress is the feeling one gets
from prolonged, pent-up emotions. If the emotions you experience are pleasant and desirable –
joy, elation, ecstasy, delight – you usually feel free to let them show. They are not suppressed.
Therefore; positive emotions do not usually cause stress. Negative emotions, on the other
hand, are more often held inside. They are hidden. You suffer quietly and you experience
stress. Do not confuse positive situations with positive emotions. A wedding, for example, is a
positive situation that often brings about the negative emotions of anxiety and tension. So
stress can exist in great situations.

Causes and Effects of Stress

Just as there is great variety in the range of emotions you might experience,
there are many possible manifestations of stress – in your private life and in your
working life. Here are some words that describe the emotions associated (as cause
and effect) with stress.

• Anxiety
• Pressure
• Misery
• Strain
• Desperation
• Tension
• Anger
• Panic
• Dejection

Prolonged stress can be devastating; burnout, breakdown, and depression are some of the
potential results of long-term, unmanaged stress. By wearing a mask, you may expect to hide
stress caused by problems in your personal life and not let them influence your performance on
the job. This will probably not work. The more you try to hold your emotions in, the greater the
pressure build-up will be.

Everyday frustrations cause stress build-up

From the time you wake up until you go to sleep, you may be confronted with a succession of
stressful situations. Managing to get yourself (and possibly a spouse and children) out of bed
and ready to face the day can be a challenge to your patience and ingenuity. Driving to school
or work can be harrowing – especially if you’re running late. You may experience frustration in
arranging to get the car repaired. You may face conflicts in school or at work, such as coping
with unrealistic deadlines, equipment failures, or unexpected bad weather. If part of your job is
selling, you may experience feelings of rejection when most of your customers say “no.” A
series of stressful and frustrating experiences throughout the day can cause you to lie awake at
night in an emotional turmoil – unable to get needed rest. You face the next day with less
emotional and physical stamina. After another stressful day and another night without rest, you
may have even less emotional strength and stability. Therefore, stress build-up, if not resolved,
continues day after day.

Problems in our personal life can be devastating

Surviving the normal, everyday stress described above can be difficult. But far more serious and
painful circumstances can create long-term stress. More serious stressful circumstances may
include separation from loved ones, personal illness, or illness of a loved one, death of
someone you care about, or conflict with a spouse or close friend. Other major causes of stress
are problems with drug and alcohol abuse, domestic violence, care of children and elderly
relatives, chronic mental illness, injury, physical handicaps, even moving to a new home, if
you’ve lived in the same place for more than 10 years. The list goes on and on. Managing your
personal finances can be another stressful experience. This can be a problem no matter what
your income level, but it is especially difficult if you must support a family and do not earn
enough to live comfortably. Unpaid bills, unwise use of credit, and budget limitations can make
life difficult.

A common cause of stress is dealing with life’s transitions

This is especially true when a person must cope with too many transitions all at once. For
example, Ellen has just completed a program in fashion merchandising. She is eager to get
started on her new job. Her mother is ill and requires care. Her father died a few months ago.
Ellen’s new job requires that she relocate to a town 100 miles from home. The move, a new
career, and a change in family relationships may cause excessive stress for her. Too many
changes have arrived at the same time.
Source: Personal Development for Life and Work, 8th Ed., by Wallace, H.R. & Masters, L.A.,
2001.
STRESS RESPONSE
Your stress response is the collection of physiological changes that occur when you face a
perceived threat—when you face situations where you feel the demands outweigh your
resources to successfully cope. These situations are known as stressors. When your stress
response is triggered, a series of changes occur within your body.
They include:
• Redirection of blood away from extremities and instead to major organs
• The release of cortisol and other hormones, which bring other short- and long-term
changes.
• The stress response is intended to give you a burst of energy so you’re able to fight off
attackers or run away from them effectively.

This helped our ancestors, who faced numerous physical threats, to stay safe. However, now
our threats tend to be less physical and more associated with our way of life—a challenge to
our status, a demand for performance, etc. In addition to giving us a set of changes that may
not match our needs as well (it might be more effective for us to have a burst of mental clarity
or wisdom than a burst of physical strength, for example), the stress response can actually
cause harm if it leads to a state of chronic stress— that is, if our stress response is triggered,
and then our body doesn’t go back to its normal state via the relaxation response.

KEEP STRESS UNDER CONTROL

There are many effective ways to handle stress. Of course, you can’t avoid stress—in fact, you
wouldn’t want to avoid all stress, because you’d never grow. However, you can manage your
life so that you survive the emotional down times without allowing stress to engulf you. Also,
you can work to eliminate controllable stress factors, such as running late or not getting enough
sleep. But when stress is constant or too great, your wisest option is to find ways to reduce or
control it. You need not, and should not, live your life in emotional stress and discomfort. Stress
can be successfully managed. Here are some suggestions that may help.
1. Understand the Causes of Stress
Understanding why you are under stress is important. This may seem obvious, but it requires
deliberate, conscious effort to pause and simply ponder your situation. By now, you are familiar
with the stress response, the emotional or physical symptoms of uncontrolled stress. Now you
need to try to discover the stressors, the factors of which create the stress in your life.

2. Analyze your Stress Factors and Write Them Down

Write down your response to stress. For example, you may write down, “I feel tired most of the
time. My lower back seems to ache all through the day and night. I miss deadlines and run
behind schedule.” Analyze stress responses and consequences, and consider each item, and ask
why. “Why am I feeling tired? Why does my back ache? Why do I run behind schedule?
Carefully consider each answer, because the answers will reveal stressors, such as deadlines,
anxieties, trying to do so much, managing time or money poorly, or poor health habits.
3. Deal with the Stressors
Develop techniques to deal with the causes of stress. The longer you avoid dealing with the
stress factors, the more the stress will build up. If tension comes because you have put off an
unfinished task, restructure your priorities so you can get the task that you have been avoiding
out of the way and off your mind.
4. Learn to Work under Pressure or Unusual Conditions
When you can’t reduce the stressors, you need to manage your stress response. Almost
everyone, at least at some point, has to meet deadlines, keep several jobs going at once,
resolve problems that come up, and do extra work when necessary. However, when the
pressure mounts, you can relieve it. Relaxation is key—but most people must train themselves
to relax when the pressure is on. Some tips to relax when under pressure are the following:

• Stop for a moment (especially when you feel your muscles tightening up) and take a few
deep breaths.
• Do a relaxing exercise. Swing your hands at your sides and stretch.
• Take a “power nap.” Lie down and totally relax for a few minutes.
• Find time to do the things you enjoy.
• Leave your study area for a while to take a brisk walk.
• Find a quiet place to read a magazine or novel during break or at lunch.
• If possible, look at some peaceful images such as forests, beaches, etc. These images can
initiate a relaxation response.
• Look up.
• Keep something humorous on hand, such as a book of jokes.
CHANGE YOUR MIND ABOUT MENTAL HEALTH
Mental health. It’s the way your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors affect your life. Good mental
health leads to positive self-image and in-turn, satisfying relationships with friends and others.
Having good mental health helps you make good decisions and deal with life’s challenges at
home, work, or school. It is not uncommon for teenagers to develop problems with their
mental health. Problems can range from mild to severe, and can include depression, anxiety,
body esteem issues, and suicide, among others. Unfortunately, most young people with mental
health problems don’t get any treatment for them. Research shows that effective treatments
are available that can help members of all racial, ethnic, and cultural groups. If you broke your
leg or came down with pneumonia, you wouldn’t let it go untreated. Often however, young
people ignore mental health problems thinking they will “snap out of it,” or that they are
something to be ashamed of. That kind of thinking prevents people from getting the help they
need. Sometimes getting help is a matter of understanding mental health issues and changing
your mind about them.

SELF ESTEEM AND BODY ESTEEM

Does any of this sound familiar? "I'm too tall." "I'm too short." "I'm too skinny." "If only I were
shorter/taller/had curly hair/straight hair/a smaller nose/longer legs, I'd be happy." Are you
putting yourself down? If so, you're not alone. As a teen, you're going through lots of changes
in your body. And, as your body changes, so does your image of yourself. It's not always easy to
like every part of your looks, but when you get stuck on the negatives it can really bring down
your self-esteem.

Why Are Self-Esteem and Body Image Important?

Self-esteem is all about how much you feel you are worth — and how much you feel
other people value you. Self-esteem is important because feeling good about yourself can
affect your mental health and how you behave. People with high self-esteem know themselves
well. They're realistic and find friends that like and appreciate them for who they are. People
with high self-esteem usually feel more in control of their lives and know their own strengths
and weaknesses.
Body image is how you view your physical self — including whether you feel you are
attractive and whether others like your looks. For many people, especially people in their early
teens, body image can be closely linked to self-esteem.

What Influences a Person's Self-Esteem?

1. Puberty and Development
Some people struggle with their self-esteem and body image when they begin puberty
because it's a time when the body goes through many changes. These changes,
combined with wanting to feel accepted by our friends, means it can be tempting to
 compare ourselves with others. The trouble with that is, not everyone grows or
develops at the same time or in the same way.
2. Media Images and Other Outside Influences
Our tweens and early teens are a time when we become more aware of celebrities and
media images — as well as how other kids look and how we fit in. We might start to
compare ourselves with other people or media images ("ideals" that are frequently
airbrushed). All of this can affect how we feel about ourselves and our bodies even as
we grow into our teens.
3. Families and School
Family life can sometimes influence our body image. Some parents or coaches might be
too focused on looking a certain way or "making weight" for a sports team. Family
members might struggle with their own body image or criticize their kids' looks ("why do
you wear your hair so long?" or "how come you can't wear pants that fit you?"). This can
all influence a person's self-esteem, especially if they're sensitive to others peoples'
comments. People also may experience negative comments and hurtful teasing about
the way they look from classmates and peers. Although these often come from
ignorance, sometimes they can affect body image and self-esteem.
Common Eating Disorders
The most common eating disorders are anorexia nervosa and bulimia nervosa (usually called
simply "anorexia" and "bulimia"). But other food-related disorders, like avoidant/restrictive
food intake disorder, binge eating, body image disorders, and food phobias, are becoming more
and more commonly identified.
1. Anorexia People with anorexia have a real fear of weight gain and a distorted view of
their body size and shape. As a result, they eat very little and can become dangerously
underweight. Many teens with anorexia restrict their food intake by dieting, fasting, or
excessive exercise. They hardly eat at all — and the small amount of food they do eat
becomes an obsession in terms of calorie counting or trying to eat as little as possible.
Others with anorexia may start binge eating and purging — eating a lot of food and then
trying to get rid of the calories by making themselves throw up, using some type of
medication or laxatives, or exercising excessively, or some combination of these.
2. Bulimia Bulimia is similar to anorexia. With bulimia, people might binge eat (eat to
excess) and then try to compensate in extreme ways, such as making themselves throw
up or exercising all the time, to prevent weight gain. Over time, these steps can be
dangerous — both physically and emotionally. They can also lead to compulsive
behaviors (ones that are hard to stop). To have bulimia, a person must be binging and
purging regularly, at least once a week for a couple of months. Binge eating is different
from going to a party and "pigging out" on pizza, then deciding to go to the gym the next
day and eat more healthfully People with bulimia eat a large amount of food (often junk
food) at once, usually in secret. Sometimes they eat food that is not cooked or might be
still frozen, or retrieve food from the trash. They typically feel powerless to stop the
eating and can only stop once they're too full to eat any more, or they may have to go to
extreme measures (like pouring salt all over a dessert to make it inedible) in order to get
themselves to stop eating. Most people with bulimia then purge by vomiting, but also
may use laxatives or excessive exercise. Although anorexia and bulimia are very similar,
people with anorexia are usually very thin and underweight, but those with bulimia may
be an average weight or can be overweight.
 BRAINPOWER: COMPLEX ORGAN CONTROLS YOUR EVERY
THOUGHT AND MOVE
How did you get here?
No, no, no! It's not a question about your conception or birth.
How did you get here? On this page. Reading this story. The answer is a lot more complex than,
"My teacher told me to read it" or "I clicked on it by accident."
The answer involves thought, as in "I want to get on the Internet"; movement — pressing the
computer's power button and grasping a mouse; memory—like recalling how to use a browser
or a search engine; and word recognition such as "Brainpower" and an understanding of its
meaning. In short, the answer involves a wrinkled, pinkish-gray, three-pound organ that is
primarily composed of fat and water and goes by the name of brain. You got to this article
because that jelly-like mass topping off your spinal cord fired electrical signals to your hand
telling it how to move. You got to this article because your brain stored information about using
a computer and the definition of words that you learned years ago. You got to this article
because your brain is working. Keep reading to find out how it functions, if it repairs itself and if
the effects of drug use are permanent.

The power to act

The brain has three major parts -- the cerebrum, the cerebellum and the brain stem. The brain
stem connects the spinal cord and the brain. It controls functions that keep people alive such as
breathing, heart rate, blood pressure and food digestion. Those activities occur without any
thought. You aren't telling yourself, "Inhale. Exhale. Inhale." You're just breathing.
Things are different in the cerebellum. That region controls voluntary movement. When you
want to lift your fork, wave your hand, brush your hair or wink at a cutie, you form the thought
and then an area in the cerebellum translates your will into action. It happens so quickly. Think
about how little time passes between your desire to continue reading this sentence and the
time it takes your eyes to move to this word or this one. It seems automatic, but it isn't.
Neurons, the basic functional units of the nervous system, are three-part units and are key to
brain function. They are comprised of a nerve cell body, axon and dendrite, and they power the
rapid-fire process that turns thought into movement.
The thought moves as an electrical signal from the nerve cell down the axon to a dendrite,
which looks like branches at the end of nerve cells. The signal jumps from the end of the
dendrite on one cell across the space, called a synapse, to the dendrite of another cell with the
help of chemicals called neurotransmitters. That signal continues jumping from cell to cell until
it reaches the muscle you need to wave, wink or walk.
The cerebrum is the largest of the three brain sections, accounts for about 85 percent of the
brain's weight, and has four lobes. The lobes-frontal, parietal, temporal and occipital -- each
have different functions. They get their names from the sections of the skull that are next to
them.
The parietal lobe helps people understand what they see and feel, while the frontal lobe
determines personality and emotions. Vision functions are located in the occipital lobe, and
hearing and word recognition abilities are in the temporal lobe.

A critical age
Because the brain's healthy functioning is essential to living and determines quality of life,
doctors emphasize protecting the organ from injury and chemical abuse. There is a consensus
among researchers that brain cells regenerate throughout life, said Doug Postels, a pediatric
neurosurgeon in New Orleans, but that new growth happens very slowly after a certain age.
"The size of the brain doesn't increase much after 3," Postels explains.
During the first three years of life, the brain experiences most of its growth and develops most
of its potential for learning. That's the time frame in which synaptogenesis, or the creation of
pathways for brain cells to communicate, occurs. Doctors generally accept that cut-off point for
two reasons, Postels said. First, in situations where doctors removed parts of the brains of
patients younger than 3 to correct disorders, the remaining brain sections developed to assume
the role of the portions those doctors removed. But when physicians performed the same
surgery on older patients, that adaptability function did not occur. Second, "We know from
experiments that if you deprive people of intellectual stimulation and put them in a dark room,
that it produces permanent changes in the brain," Postels said. "That occurs most dramatically
before age 3. After that age, it's impossible to ethically do a study." Previous research produced
information about the effects of stimulation deprivation, but modern ethical guidelines prohibit
such research on people because of the potentially harmful outcome.

Drug damage
Because so little recovery occurs to brains damaged after age 3, the effects of drugs and alcohol
on the brain might be lasting. Doctors know what inhalants, steroids, marijuana, cocaine and
alcohol do to the brain when people use them. "The question scientists can't answer now is if
the damage is permanent," said Sue Rusche, co-author of "False Messengers," a book on how
addictive drugs change the brain. Inhalants, such as glue, paint, gasoline and aerosols, destroy
the outer lining of nerve cells and make them unable to communicate with one another. In
1993, more than 60 young people died from sniffing inhalants, according to National Families in
Action, a drug education center based in Atlanta. Studies have found that marijuana use
hinders memory, learning, judgment and reaction times, while steroids cause aggression and
violent mood swings. Ecstasy use is rising among young people, Rusche said, and scientists have
found that drug destroys neurons that make serotonin, a chemical crucial in controlling sleep,
violence, mood swings and sexual urges. While doctors and scientists know about some effects
drugs have on the brain, they don't have a full picture, Rusche said. "When people start using a
drug, the scientists know nothing about it. These people are volunteering to be guinea pigs,"
said Rusche, who is co-founder and executive director of National Families in Action. "Once
enough people take it, scientists apply for grants and start studying it. People are inventive.
They find new drugs or new ways to take old drugs-like crack from cocaine. "There's a lot we
won't know about until later," she said. "The classic example is cigarettes. We allowed people
to smoke for 100 years before we knew about all the horrible things that nicotine will do.
Source: Christy Oglesby, CNNfyi Senior Writer, December 5, 2000 from
http://edition.cnn.com/fyi/interactive/news/brain/structure.function.html
THE DOMINANT SIDE OF THE BRAIN
Researchers believed that brain dominance determines a person’s preferences, problem-
solving style, personality characteristics, and even career choices. For example, a right-brain
individual will quickly get a feeling for a situation, while a left-brain person will usually ask a lot
of questions first. The following chart reflects additional difference between left and right-brain
dominance.
PERSONAL PREFERENCE
LEFT DOMINANCE RIGHT DOMINANCE
Classical music Popular music
Being on time A good times
Careful planning To visualize the outcome
To consider alternative To go with the first idea
Being thoughtful Being active
Monopoly, scrabble, or chess Athletics, art, or music

There is nothing good or bad about either preference. Both orientations can be equally
successful in accomplishing a single task; however, one may be more appropriate over the
other depending on the situation.

RESEARCH STUDY “THE BRAIN’S LEFT AND RIGHT SIDES SEEM TO WORK
TOGETHER BETTER IN MATHEMATICALLY GIFTED MIDDLE-SCHOOL YOUTH”
WASHINGTON- There really may be something different about the brains of math-heads.
Mathematically gifted teens did better than average-ability teens and college students on tests
that required the two halves of the brain to cooperate, as reported in the April issue of
Neuropsychology, published by the American Psychological Association (APA). In the study, a
joint effort of psychologists at the U.S. Army Research Institute for the Behavioral and Social
Sciences at Fort Benning, Ga. and the University of Melbourne, Australia, researchers studied
60 right-handed males: 18 mathematically gifted (averaging nearly 14 years in age), 18 of
average math ability (averaging just over 13), and 24 college students (averaging about 20).
Math giftedness seems to favor boys over girls, appearing an estimated six to 13 times more
often. It's not known why but prenatal exposure to testosterone is suspected to be one
influence due to its selective benefit to the right half of the brain.
The gifted boys were recruited from a Challenges for Youth-Talented program at Iowa State
University. Whereas the average Scholastic Aptitude Test (SAT) math score for college-bound
high-school seniors is 500 (out of 800), the mathematically gifted boys' average SAT math score
in middle school was 620.
The boys viewed letter patterns flashed on the left or right sides of a computer screen, and had
to indicate whether two patterns matched or not - a simple way of learning how the brain
responds to data put before either the left or right visual field, corresponding to processing in
the right or left brain because the input generally crosses over to the other side.
The letter patterns were presented in three conditions - one-sided, to the right hemisphere (left
eye); one-sided, to the left hemisphere (right eye); or bilaterally (both eyes). There were two
types of tasks -- "local," saying two letters matched or mismatched on the small letters that
went into making big letters (for example, a big T whose two strokes were made of smaller T's),
and "global," saying two big letters matched or mismatched.
For the average teens and college students, the left brain hemisphere was faster for local
matches and the right brain hemisphere was faster for global matches. This fit prior research,
which has indicated that the left hemisphere is adept at processing visual "parts," in this case
the letter details, while the right hemisphere is more adept at analyzing visual "wholes," in this
case the global shapes of the big letters.
However, the mathematically gifted boys showed no such hemispheric differences. Those who
were precocious in math were equally good at processing global and local elements with either
hemisphere, suggesting more interactive, cooperative left and right brains.
In addition, whereas average-ability boys and college students were slower on cooperative
trials, which presented letter patterns on both sides of the screen, the math-gifted showed the
opposite pattern. They were slower on one-sided trials, but when a task "asked" both sides of
the brain to work together, they were considerably faster than the other boys.
The study supports the growing notion that the mathematically gifted are better at relaying and
integrating information between the cerebral hemispheres. Says co-author Michael O'Boyle,
PhD, "It's not that you have a special math module somewhere in your brain, but rather that
the brain's particular functional organization - which allows right-hemisphere contributions to
be better integrated into the overall cognitive/behavioral equation -- predisposes it towards the
use of high-level imagery and spatial skills, which in turn just happen to be very useful when it
comes to doing math reasoning."
The research supports the broader notion that "the functional (though not necessarily
structural) organization of the brain may be an important contributor to individual differences
in cognitive abilities, talents and, at the very least, informationprocessing styles," says O'Boyle.
He adds, "Various expressions of exceptionality, such as giftedness in math, music or art, may
be the by-product of a brain that has functionally organized itself in a qualitatively different way
than the usual left/right hemispheric asymmetry."
At the same time, O'Boyle is not sure whether the findings could apply to math education in
general. "Our work may perhaps have something to say about the optimal timing of when a
particular brain is most 'ready to learn' or acquire a given skill, but I don't think we can 'create'
a math genius without the innate talent already there," he says.
Finally, given the rising use of testosterone by adult men, O'Boyle cautions that, "Testosterone
taken later in life will not help your math, as the window of influence on brain development is
pretty much prenatal. It may enhance muscle mass, but it is unlikely to help you solve calculus
problems."
Source: "Interhemispheric interaction during global-local processing in mathematically gifted adolescents, average-
ability youth, and college students," Harnam Singh, Ph.D., U.S. Army Research Institute for the Behavioral and
Social Sciences, and Michael W. O'Boyle, PhD, University of Melbourne, Australia; Neuropsychology, Vol. 18, No. 2.
Reporters: Michael O'Boyle , from the American Psychological Association, available from
http://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2004/04/interhemispheric.aspx

MIND MAPPING
Mind mapping is a powerful
thinking tool. It is a graphical
technique that mirrors the way
the brain works, and was
invented by Tony Buzan. Mind
mapping helps to make thinking
visible. Most people make notes
using lined paper and blue or
black ink. Making notes more
attractive to the brain by adding
color and rhythm can aid the
learning process, and can help to
make learning fun. The subject
being studied is crystallized in a central image and the main theme radiates out from the
central image on branches. Each branch holds a key image or a key word. Details are then
added to the main branches and radiate further out. Mind maps have a wide variety of uses, for
example, note taking, revision planning, planning for writing and problem solving can all be
successfully carried out using the technique. The colors and the graphics used will help children
to organize their ideas and thoughts. They can be very simple or, quite detailed depending
upon the age of the children and the complexity of the subject. Because creating the mind map
involves the use of the left and right brain, remembering the information becomes easier!

How to draw a mind map:

1. Turn the page on its side (landscape). Use plain paper.
2. Draw the central image using different colors. The central image
should encapsulate the subject of the map.
3. Add the branches representing the subject’s main topics or
themes using key words or images.
4. Add detail with more key words and images. Use color.
5. Print the words clearly.
6. Use arrows to connect linked ideas.
Source: Dodd (2004). Learning to Think: Thinking to Learn,
http://aysinalp.edublogs.org/files/2013/09/TheBrainandLearning-1f6e16y.pdf

YOU CAN GROW YOUR INTELLIGENCE

New Research Shows the Brain Can Be Developed Like a Muscle
Many people think of the brain as a mystery. They don’t know much about intelligence and how
it works. When they do think about what intelligence is, many people believe that a person is
born either smart, average, or dumb—and stays that way for life. But new research shows that
the brain is more like a muscle—it changes and gets stronger when you use it. And scientists
have been able to show just how the brain grows and gets stronger when you learn. Everyone
knows that when you lift weights, your muscles get bigger and you get stronger. A person who
can’t lift 20 pounds when they start exercising can get strong enough to lift 100 pounds after
working out for a long time. That’s because the muscles become larger and stronger with
exercise. And when you stop exercising, the muscles shrink and you get weaker. That’s why
people say “Use it or lose it!” But most people don’t know that when they practice and learn
new things, parts of their brain change and get larger a lot like muscles do when they exercise.
Inside the cortex of the brain are billions of tiny nerve cells, called neurons. The nerve cells have
branches connecting them to other cells in a complicated network. Communication between
these brain cells is what allows us to think and solve problems.
When you learn new things, these tiny connections in the brain actually multiply and get
stronger. The more that you challenge your mind to learn, the more your brain cells grow.
Then, things that you once found very hard or even impossible to do—like speaking a foreign
language or doing algebra—seem to become easy. The
result is a stronger, smarter brain.
 How Do We Know the Brain Can
Grow Stronger?
Scientists started thinking that the
human brain could develop and
change when they studied animals’ brains. They found out that animals who lived in a
challenging environment, with other animals and toys to play with, were different from animals
who lived alone in bare cages. While the animals who lived alone just ate and slept all the time,
the ones who lived with different toys and other animals were always active. They spent a lot of
time figuring out how to use the toys and how to get along with the other animals.
These animals had more connections
between the nerve cells in their brains.
The connections were bigger and
stronger, too. In fact, their whole brains
were about 10% heavier than the brains
of the animals who lived alone without
toys. The animals who were exercising
their brains by playing with toys and
each other were also “smarter”—they
were better at solving problems and
learning new things. Even old animals
got smarter and developed more connections in their brains when they got the chance to play
with new toys and other animals. When scientists put very old animals in the cage with younger
animals and new toys to explore, their brains also grew by about 10%.

The Key to Growing the Brain: Practice!

From the first day they are born, babies are hearing people around them talk—all day, every
day, to the baby and to each other. They have to try to make sense of these strange sounds and
figure out what they mean. In a way, babies are exercising their brains by listening hard. Later,
when they need to tell their parents what they want, they start practicing talking themselves.
At first, they just make goo-goo sounds. Then, words start coming. And by the time they are
three years old, most can say whole sentences almost perfectly. Once children learn a language,
they don’t forget it. The child’s brain has changed—it has actually gotten smarter. This can
happen because learning causes permanent changes in the brain. The babies’ brain cells get
larger and grow new connections between them. These new, stronger connections make the
child’s brain stronger and smarter, just like a weightlifter’s big muscles make them strong.

The Real Truth About “Smart” and “Dumb”

No one thinks babies are stupid because they can’t talk. They just haven’t learned how to yet.
But some people will call a person dumb if they can’t solve math problems, or spell a word
right, or read fast—even though all these things are learned with practice. At first, no one can
read or solve equations. But with practice, they can learn to do it. And the more a person
learns, the easier it gets to learn new things—because their brain “muscles” have gotten
stronger! The students everyone thinks as the “smartest” may not have been born any different
from anyone else. But before they started school, they may have started to practice reading.
They had already started to build up their “reading muscles.” Then, in the classroom, everyone
said, “That’s the smartest student in the class.” They don’t realize that any of the other
students could learn to do as well if they exercised and practiced reading as much. Remember,
all of those other students learned to speak at least one whole language already—something
that grownups find very hard to do. They just need to build up their “reading muscles” too.

What Can You Do to Get Smarter?

Just like a weightlifter or a basketball player, to be a brain athlete, you have to exercise and
practice. By practicing, you make your brain stronger. You also learn skills that let you use your
brain in a smarter way—just like a basketball player learns new moves. But many people miss
out on the chance to grow a stronger brain because they think they can’t do it, or that it’s too
hard. It does take work, just like becoming stronger physically or becoming a better ball player
does. Sometimes it even hurts! But when you feel yourself get better and stronger, all the work
is worth it!
Source:http://schools.nyc.gov/NR/rdonlyres/C7BD7406-040C-42FA-B44C-
2FCF72EB819C/0/GrowYourIntelligenceArticleandActivity.pdf © 2010 Mindset Works
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
More Than One Kind of Intelligence
You may have heard people mention "IQ" when talking about intellect and how smart someone
is. (For example, "My brother doesn't need to study as much as I do because he has a really
high IQ.") IQ stands for "intellectual quotient." It can help predict how well someone may do
academically. IQ is just one measure of our abilities, though.
There are many other kinds of intelligence in addition to intellect. For example, spatial
intelligence is the ability to think in 3D. Musical intelligence is the ability to recognize rhythm,
cadence, and tone. Athletic, artistic, and mechanical abilities are other types of intelligence.
One important type of intelligence is emotional intelligence.

What Is Emotional Intelligence?

Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand, use, and manage our emotions.
Emotional intelligence is sometimes called EQ (or EI) for short. Just as a high IQ can predict top
test scores, a high EQ can predict success in social and emotional situations. EQ helps us build
strong relationships, make good decisions, and deal with difficult situations.
One way to think about EQ is that it's part of being people-smart. Understanding and getting
along with people helps us be successful in almost any area of life. In fact, some studies show
that EQ is more important than IQ when it comes to doing well in school or being successful at
work.

Improving Your EQ
Emotional intelligence is a combination of several different skills:
1. Being Aware of Your Emotions. Most people feel many different emotions throughout
the day. Some feelings (like surprise) last just a few seconds. Others may stay longer,
creating a mood like happiness or sadness. Being able to notice and accurately label
these everyday feelings is the most basic of all the EQ skills. Being aware of emotions —
simply noticing them as we feel them — helps us manage our own emotions. It also
helps us understand how other people feel. But some people might go through the
entire day without really noticing their emotions. Practice recognizing emotions as you
feel them. Label them in your mind (for example, by saying to yourself "I feel grateful,"
"I feel frustrated," etc.). Make it a daily habit to be aware of your emotions.
2. Understanding How Others Feel and Why. People are naturally designed to try to
understand others. Part of EQ is being able to imagine how other people might feel in
certain situations. It is also about understanding why they feel the way they do. Being
able to imagine what emotions a person is likely to be feeling (even when you don't
actually know) is called empathy. Empathy helps us care about others and build good
 friendships and relationships. It guides us on what to say and how to behave around
someone who is feeling strong emotions.
3. Managing Emotional Reactions. We all get angry. We all have disappointments. Often
it's important to express how you feel. But managing your reaction means knowing
when, where, and how to express yourself. When you understand your emotions and
know how to manage them, you can use self-control to hold a reaction if now is not the
right time or place to express it. Someone who has good EQ knows it can damage
relationships to react to emotions in a way that's disrespectful, too intense, too
impulsive, or harmful.
4. Choosing Your Mood. Part of managing emotions is choosing our moods. Moods are
emotional states that last a bit. We have the power to decide what mood is right for a
situation, and then to get into that mood. Choosing the right mood can help someone
get motivated, concentrate on a task, or try again instead of giving up. People with good
EQ know that moods aren't just things that happen to us. We can control them by
knowing which mood is best for a particular situation and how to get into that mood.
EQ: Under Construction
Emotional intelligence is something that develops as we get older. If it didn't, all adults
would act like little kids, expressing their emotions physically through stomping, crying,
hitting, yelling, and losing control! Some of the skills that make up emotional intelligence
develop earlier. They may seem easier: For example, recognizing emotions seems easy once
we know what to pay attention to. But the EQ skill of managing emotional reactions and
choosing a mood might seem harder to master. That's because the part of the brain that's
responsible for self-management continues to mature beyond our teen years. But practice
helps those brain pathways develop. We can all work to build even stronger emotional
intelligence skills just by recognizing what we feel, understanding how we got there,
understanding how others feel and why, and putting our emotions into heartfelt words
when we need to.
Source: http://kidshealth.org/en/teens/eq.html
TYPES OF RESPONSES
Passive response: Behaving passively means not expressing your own needs and feelings, or
expressing them so weakly that they will not be addressed.

• If Geneva behaves passively, by standing in line and not saying anything, she will probably feel
angry with the girls and herself. If the ticket office runs out of tickets before she gets to the
head of the line, she will be furious and might blow up at the girls after it's too late to change
the situation.

• A passive response is not usually in your best interest, because it allows other people to
violate your rights. Yet there are times when being passive is the most appropriate response. It
is important to assess whether a situation is dangerous and choose the response most likely to
keep you safe.
Aggressive response: Behaving aggressively is asking for what you want or saying how you feel
in a threatening, sarcastic or humiliating way that may offend the other person(s).

• If Geneva calls the girls names or threatens them, she may feel strong for a moment, but
there is no guarantee she will get the girls to leave. More importantly, the girls and their friend
may also respond aggressively, through a verbal or physical attack on Geneva.

• An aggressive response is never in your best interest, because it almost always leads to
increased conflict.
Assertive response: Behaving assertively means asking for what you want or saying how you
feel in an honest and respectful way that does not infringe on another person's rights or put the
individual down.

• If Geneva tells the girls they need to go to the end of the line because other people have been
waiting, she will not put the girls down, but merely state the facts of the situation. She can feel
proud for standing up for her rights. At the same time, she will probably be supported in her
statement by other people in the line. While there is a good chance the girls will feel
embarrassed and move, there is also the chance that they will ignore Geneva and her needs will
not be met.

• An assertive response is almost always in your best interest, since it is your best chance of
getting what you want without offending the other person(s). At times, however, being
assertive can be inappropriate. If tempers are high, if people have been using alcohol or other
drugs, if people have weapons or if you are in an unsafe place, being assertive may not be the
safest choice.