Personal Development

Quarter 3 – Module 1:
Teen-age Relationships
Including the Acceptable and
Unacceptable Expressions
of Attractions

CO_Q3_Personal Development SHS

Module 1
Personal Development
Alternative Delivery Mode
Quarter 3 – Module 1: Teen-age Relationships Including the Acceptable
and Unacceptable Expressions of Attractions
First Edition, 2021

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Published by the Department of Education

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Personal Development
Quarter 3 – Module 1:
Teen-age Relationships
Including the Acceptable and
Unacceptable Expressions
of Attractions
Introductory Message
This Self-Learning Module (SLM) is prepared so that you, our dear learners,
can continue your studies and learn while at home. Activities, questions, directions,
exercises, and discussions are carefully stated for you to understand each lesson.

Each SLM is composed of different parts. Each part shall guide you step-by-
step as you discover and understand the lesson prepared for you.

Pre-tests are provided to measure your prior knowledge on lessons in each

SLM. This will tell you if you need to proceed on completing this module or if you
need to ask your facilitator or your teacher’s assistance for better understanding of
the lesson. At the end of each module, you need to answer the post-test to self-check
your learning. Answer keys are provided for each activity and test. We trust that you
will be honest in using these.

In addition to the material in the main text, Notes to the Teacher are also
provided to our facilitators and parents for strategies and reminders on how they can
best help you on your home-based learning.

Please use this module with care. Do not put unnecessary marks on any part
of this SLM. Use a separate sheet of paper in answering the exercises and tests. And
read the instructions carefully before performing each task.

If you have any questions in using this SLM or any difficulty in answering the
tasks in this module, do not hesitate to consult your teacher or facilitator.

Thank you.
 What I Need to Know

This module is designed and written to help you understand the concept
of relationships and family that is broad and varies from person to person. A
relationship experience is unique to all individuals but is viewed universally as a
state of connectedness that it mostly emotional in its sense. This state of close
connection between people becomes personal relationships formed by bonds and
interactions that often grow from and are strengthened by mutual experiences.
This lesson will give an idea on how to build a happier and more fruitful
relationship with others by understanding the problems people are facing and by
developing friendly relationship through effective and loving connections.
The content of this lesson is about Teen-age Relationships including the
acceptable and unacceptable expressions of attractions.

After going through this module, you are expected to:

1. Understand teen-age relationships, including the acceptable and

unacceptable expressions of attractions.
1.1. Define relationships; and

1.2. Enumerate acceptable and unacceptable expressions of attractions

What I Know

A. Write the word True if the statement is correct and write the word False if the
statement is not correct. Write your answer on a separate sheet of paper.
1. Attraction is a force that unite people.
2.Affection is one of human beings' greatest emotions.
3.Infatuation is love without engagement or intimacy.
4. People differ in what they consider attractive.
5. Relationship is a one-way traffic.
6. Personal Relationship is a form of relationship closely linked to a
person and which can only be important to that person.

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 7.Affection is one of the qualities in a relationship that everyone
looks for.
8.According to research study, people differ in what they consider
attractive, and cultural influences on attractiveness.
9.Ladies with broad shoulders and a small waist are not attractive to
men.
10.Intimacy is a sharing of details, emotions, and intimate thoughts

B. Write the word Yes if the statement is correct and write the word No if the
statement is not correct.
11.Filipino culture is bound to believe that a decent display of
someone's feelings also a must, to be accepted by society;
12.Macoi has leadership and work skills but does not have good
looks. Is it attractive to ladies?
13.Majelyn dictates to her boyfriend how to dress up
and what to eat. Is this a controlling issue?
14. Is “Love” one of the three components of a healthy
relationship according to Sternberg?
15 Is cheating one of the unacceptable issues in any relationship?

Lesson
Understanding Personal
1 Relationships

Relationship
It is said that every kind of relationship is a two-way traffic which means that
all parties should learn how to give and take. There are different forms of
relationships and each of us has a clear description for each of these forms. We
certainly have our own ways of creating and improving these relationships.

Let us try to define each one of them.

In this lesson, you will be able to understand what personal relationship
really is. Personal relationship is practically the kind of relationship that we have
with our families, friends, and partners in life. This definition also applies to our
relationship with those people who are significant to us.

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 What’s In

ACTIVITY: Picture Analysis

Do you remember someone who has caused you to lose self-control? In building
personal relationships you might encounter difficulties or conflicts that might lead
you to anger or frustration. Describe the pictures below and write your
reaction/observation on the spaces provided.

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Process Questions:
1. What do the pictures want to convey?
2. What did you feel after you wrote your reaction/observation to the
images?
3. Have you experienced this kind of scenario before? If so, how did you
deal with it? If not yet, how will you react to this kind of situation?

What’s New

Read the poem below and answer the questions that follow.

PURPOSE OF AFFECTION
By: Jessica V. Durante

Loving is sharing life with each other,

In order to create special plans for only two,
Standing side by side, then smiling with pride,
Dreams, one by one, all come true.

To love is to help and nurture,

With smiles and honest words of advice,
In order to take the time to share,
To attend to and to feel for
In tender, sweet and gentle shapes

Love is about getting someone special,

One you can always count on
Being together over the years,
Sharing both happiness and sadness,
As a partner, and a friend

Love is the creation of memories that are special.

Of the times you cherish pondering,
And all the amazing things relationship-sharing promises
Love is the greatest of all,

I discovered the full meaning

Of giving and of providing
Making all of my dreams come true;
I have found the true essence of affection
By just being with you and loving you.

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Process Questions:
1. How did you feel after reading the poem? Why?
2. What does the writer want to tell about the line "Love is the
greatest of all"?
3. How would you express affection to your loved ones if you were the author?
(You may write a poem of your own.)

What is It

Affection is one of human beings' greatest emotions. There is a lot of passion,

but more are conveyed in an intimate partnership with a compatible partner.
Romantic attachments are one of the most important aspects of life for these people,
and a source of tremendous fulfilment. However, the will to create a human link
seems innate, which develops our ability to build a healthy and loving relationship.
Some suggest that early childhood begins to develop the capacity to create a healthy
relationship with a nanny who regularly satisfies the child's food, treatment,
comfort, protection, stimulation, and social interaction needs. Such partnerships
are not destinies but are hypothesized to establish deeply embedded relationship
patterns with others. The end of a relationship is however also a source of significant
mental trauma.

What is personal relationship?

PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP- is a form of relationship closely linked to a person
and which can only be important to that person.

Kinds of Personal Relationship

o PRIVACY and INTIMACY- are two attributes describing personal relationships
and level of commitment to another person/s
o IMPERSONAL RELATIONSHIP- commitment to an organization like a business
entity, a principle or purpose.
o ATTRACTION- it is a force that unites people and can grow into an attachment
which eventually leads to commitment.

Everybody knows when they go into a room packed with friendly faces, and
while they seem open and able to speak, there is only one face standing out from
the crowd. There may be a lot of people in the room who are physically attractive,
but you do not seem to keep your eyes away from one person.

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Here are some of the attractions you need to remember:

1. Physical attraction is based on instinct.

Most people would claim that they are attracted to someone after a few
seconds of their first encounter. April Masini, who also gives ABC
Entertainment News relation advice, wrote books like Date Out of Your
League, suggests that females are naturally attracted to men who exude
affection and passion and seem to live a fascinating life. Heterosexuals tend
to be attracted to men with traditionally masculine features including
muscle body, square jaw, straight nose, and narrow eyes, physically or
emotionally. These physical properties often include higher testosterone
levels, common among "alpha males." Alpha males display a particular
personality trait, including directness, determination, and power.

2. Physical attraction does not necessarily lead to a good relationship

The first physical attraction is a very poor indicator, according to Dr.
Margaret Paul, an expert in relationship who has a Ph.D. in psychology,
about how well a relationship performs that can lead to a feeling about
abandonment.

3. Platonic attraction is important.

You also consider how trustworthy he or she seems to be and how loving
he or she is, in addition to how physically attractive your future partner is.
Is he calling, for instance, when he says he's going? Does she answer the
phone if you call her? Is he going to find little things and compliments?
When you talk about movies or sports you like, does she even listen to you?
The building block of deep emotional links are also common interests.
Having a common family history may also be helpful. Aaron Ben-Ze'ev,
a professor of philosophy and author of The Subtlety of Emotion, suggests
that your relationship may benefit from physical proximity, living close to
your interest in love. Believe it or not, it seems that simply living in the same
city or neighborhood makes people experience more platonic attractions
with each other.

4. The unattainable is attractive.

We just want something that cannot be achieved. According to Helen
Fisher, Ph.D., Professor at the Rutgers Department of Anthropology and
Chief Scientific Advisor to the Chemistry online dating service, it will still be
attractive to someone we consider "out-of-the-league" because they are
ideal. As a way to force ourselves to strengthen both our body appearance
and our social status, we could be producing these frustrating crushes. At
the same time, loving yourself and being patient is the most important
thing, because it is impossible to genuinely love someone else without loving
yourself first.

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Attraction
Proximity and similarity contribute to relationship-building, and reciprocity
and self-disclosure are critical for sustaining relationships. Yet, what characteristics
do we find attractive about a person? We don't shape relationships with someone
who lives or works in our vicinity, so how do we determine which particular
individuals we want as friends and partners? Researchers have documented several
characteristics which are attractive to humans. People differ in what they consider
attractive, and cultural influences on attractiveness. Nevertheless, research
indicates that some commonly attractive characteristics in women include wide
eyes, high cheekbones, a thin jaw line, a slim build (Buss 1989), and a lower waist-
to-hip ratio (Singh 1993).
Likewise, attractive features of men include being tall, having broad
shoulders, and a small waist (Buss 1989). Both men and women with high levels of
facial and body symmetry are commonly seen as more attractive than asymmetric
individuals (Fink, Neave, Manning and Grammer 2006; Penton-Voak et al. 2001;
Rikowski and Grammer 1999).
In future female partners, social characteristics that people consider attractive
include comfort, empathy, and social skills; in males, the desirable characteristics
include competence, leadership abilities, and work skills (Regan and Berscheid
1997).
While humans want physically attractive mates, this doesn't mean we are
looking for the most attractive person possible. In fact, this observation has led some
to propose what is known as the matching hypothesis that asserts that people tend
to choose someone they see as their equal in physical attractiveness and social
desirability (Taylor et. al. 2011).
People weigh the attractiveness of a potential partner against the probability
of succeeding with that individual. If you believe you are particularly unattractive
(even if you are not), you would probably be looking for partners that are fairly
unattractive (i.e. unattractive in physical appearance or behavior).
Typically, we love the people we make relationships with, but the sort of love
we have for our families, friends, and lovers is special. Robert Sternberg (1986)
suggested that love has three components: affection, passion, and dedication. These
three components form a triangle that distinguishes many forms of love: this is
known as the triangular love theory by Sternberg.
Love is sometimes characterized by intimacy which is the sharing of details
and emotions and intimate thoughts.
Sternberg (1986) states that a healthy relationship will have all three
components of love – intimacy, passion, and commitment – which are described as
consummate love.At different stages of life, however, different aspects of love may
prevail more. Other types of love involve affection, described as intimacy, but not
passion or commitment. Infatuation is love without engagement or intimacy. Empty
love means engagement without passion or intimacy. Companionate love,

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characteristic of close friendships and family relationships, is affection and loyalty
but there is no passion. Passion and affection describe romantic love, but no
engagement. Lastly, fatuous love is characterized by passion and devotion but no
intimacy, such as a long-term sexual love affair.

Understanding the Acceptable and Unacceptable Means of Expressing

Attractions Toward The Opposite Sex
You have understood well the essential traits of a good relationship. This time,
allow yourself to open your mind to see the difference between acceptable and
unacceptable means of expressing attractions towards the opposite sex. In this way,
you will also have a chance to unlearn the bad practices that you have in showing
how attracted you are to someone.

Filipino society has set standards for terribly unacceptable way to demonstrate
someone's attractions against those who are practically acceptable. Perhaps you are
asking why it is important to understand and realize these things.

Filipino culture is bound to believe that a decent display of someone's feeling

is also a must to be accepted by society. It is a major disappointment that anyone
who fails to follow this standard will be classified as poorly educated by society or
the community, or how one’s parents failed at parenting.

Because of the Filipinos’ culture of decency, the Republic of the Philippines

seriously believed that the issues of people's means of expressing attractions to the
opposite sex or gender can be legally addressed. The Republic Act (RA) 11313,
otherwise known as the Safe Space Act, intentionally prohibits indecent and
unlawful acts of expression. This RA broadens the scope of the RA 7877 or the Anti-
Harassment Act of 1995. This law recognizes that sexual harassment occurs in the
workplace, education, and training environments, and penalizes persons who have
authority, influence, and moral status in those institutions who commit prohibited
acts of sexual harassment. While the Safe Space Act addresses these gaps in our
legal framework by recognizing that sexual harassment can be committed between
peers. A good example of this are: a subordinate to a superior, a student to a teacher,
or a trainee to a trainer.

What Makes a Healthy and Acceptable Expression of Attractions?

As you are happy to see and spend time with your partner, you know that
you are in a stable relationship. No partnership is ever perfect, and when basic
conflicts arise, causing tension with others, you will certainly feel that the
relationship is unstable for a moment. There are many factors that lead to the growth
and maintenance of healthy and acceptable relationships, including:

1. Mutual respect. Will he or she get to know how smart and why you are? Will
your partner listen to you when you say you are not happy doing something
and then instantly back off? Respect in a partnership means that each partner
trusts and respects the weaknesses of each other and will never question
them.

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 2. Trust. You talk to a classmate, and your partner wanders about. Is he going
to lose his cool, or is he going to keep walking, because he knows you are never
going to cheat on him? Often it's normal to get a little jealous; jealousy is a
common feeling. But how a person reacts when he feels jealous is what
matters. Though you trust each other, there is no guarantee that you will have
a healthy relationship.

3. Honesty. This one goes hand-in - hand with confidence, because when one
of you is not honest, it is difficult to trust another. Have you ever caught your
partner in a total lie? Like when she told you that she / he was occupied with
homework, but it turned out that she / he was talking to friends? You're going
to have a lot of difficulty believing the next time she / he says she / he has to
work and the trust will be on dangerous foundations.

4. Support. It is not only in difficult times that you should be supported by your
partner. Usually, when the whole world is falling apart, we thought that this
is the only time we need support from others. Even in your best, you still need
support and when time gets tough, your significant other should still be there.
For instance, your partner should be there when you find out that your
parents are breaking apart and he/she should also rejoice with you when you
get a great score.

5. Fairness/Equality. You need to have a give and a take in your relationship.

Do you take turns deciding what kind of food to eat? Are you going out with
your friends as a partner as much as you stay out with your friends? If it is
not a fair balance, you will know. When a relationship transforms into a power
struggle, with one party trying to get his or her way all the time, changes get
really fast.

6. Separate identities. In a stable relationship, everybody has to make

compromises. But that does not mean you should have the feeling that you
are losing yourself. You both had your own lives when you started out
(families, friends, interests, hobbies, etc.) and that should not change. You
should not pretend to like something that you do not like, or give up seeing
your mates, or give up something that you love. And you should also feel free
to build new abilities or interests, make new friends, and move forward.

7. Good Communication. Are you going to speak to each other and share the
feelings that matter to you? Don't keep your emotions locked up because you
are afraid your partner does not even need to hear about it. And if you need
some time to think about something before you are ready to talk about it, you
will be provided some space by the right person to do that.

10 Things That Are Unacceptable in Any Relationship

Every relationship has its ups and downs, and we all have to
compromise a little to make them work. But if your partner consistently does
the following, it might be time to think twice.

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1. Cheating
If you are in a committed, monogamous relationship, cheating should
be out of the question. Many people will say infidelity is a deal-breaker.
However, others will decide to stay with their partners after an affair, and,
under the right circumstances, it is possible to heal the relationship. If you
do decide to maintain the relationship, your partner says they will never
cheat again, and they do, it’s likely that they will continue to break your
trust.

2. Putting you down

No one has the right to make you feel bad about yourself. Whether
blatant or subtle, if your partner criticizes your looks, your hair, your laugh,
your intelligence, or anything, they’re not worth your time.

3. Not supporting your dreams

In a relationship, you should be each other’s cheerleaders. When you

feel discouraged, they should tell you all the things you’re doing right. If you
feel like running out of options, they should ask what he can do to help you
reach your goals.

4. Controlling

You should have a life outside of your relationship, away from your
partner. It is not their place to tell you who you can see, when you can see
them, what to eat, or how to dress. This controlling behavior can be a
warning sign of physical abuse and should be taken seriously.

5. Lack of communication

You will never be able to grow together if you don’t discuss your
wants and needs. You both need to feel comfortable openly expressing your
feelings, good and bad, otherwise you might begin to resent each other.

6. Unnecessary sacrifices

Compromise is a must in a relationship, but if you feel like you’re

giving up everything, while your significant other is sacrificing nothing,
something’s not right. Have you heard someone say they got rid of their pet
because their fiancé didn’t like cats? Or quit their job, left their family, and
moved to other places for someone who wouldn’t do the same for them?
These should serve as your red flags or warning signs that there is
something wrong in how your significant other treats you.

7. Unreliability

When your cellphone is not working, you need advice, or you’ve just
had a bad day and need a hug, do they come to your aid? If they’re not there
for you when you need them the most, think twice: why are you with them?

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 8. Forgetting the memorable day

There’s a stereotype that men always forget anniversaries and

birthdays. Whether that’s true or not, it’s not okay. It’s normal for
something to slip our minds, but your man (or woman) should remember
those little things that are important to you.

9. Self-destruction

Sometimes we fall for people who are in rough situations. Though it

can be difficult, it’s important to be there for your loved ones during these
times and encourage them to seek help if necessary. However, if they are
engaging in destructive behavior that is negatively affecting you, and they
refuse to seek help, you might want to consider leaving. There is only so
much you can do, and it is not your fault that they are not willing to help
themselves.

10. Not caring about friends and family

When you want to build a life with someone, you have to accept every
part of them, including the people they care about. Your partner not making
an effort to get to know your loved ones can cause a major strain on your
relationship.

Source: https://www.coursehero.com/file/35081925/1-PERDEV-Personal-Relationship-AAttraction-
Love-and-Commitmentdocx/

What’s More

Activity: Situational Analysis

Identify whether the following pictures are acceptable or unacceptable expressions of

attraction. Acceptable expression of attractions are beneficial for both parties, and
unacceptable expressions of attraction displease each individual in a relationship or
even the people in the society.

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 Process Questions:

1. How did you categorize the acceptable and

unacceptable teen-age relationships?
2. If you are in that situation how would you react?
3. Why do we need to understand the acceptable
and unacceptable teen-age relationships?

What I Have Learned

Test I. Fill in the blanks

Fill in the blanks with the correct answer to complete each sentence. Write your
answer on a separate sheet.

1. is practically the kind of relationship that we have with our

families, friends, and partners in life.

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 2. is a force that unites people and can grow into an
attachment which eventually leads to commitment

3. commitment to an organization like a business entity, a

principle, or purpose.

4. means engagement without passion or intimacy.

5. People differ in what they consider attractive and cultural influences on

.

Test II. Modified True or False.

Write TRUE if the statement is correct. If the statement is not correct, change the
underlined word/s with the correct answer. Write your answer in a separate sheet of
paper.

1. Physical Attraction is based on Knowledge.

2. Physical attraction does not necessarily lead to a good relationship.

3. Korean culture is bound to believe that a decent display of someone's feeling

is also a must to be accepted by society.

4. Some of the factors contributing to the formation and sustainability of

healthy and acceptable relationships are Mutual Respect, Honesty and
Good Communication.

5. Unhealthy relationship will have all three components of love-intimacy,

passion and commitment which are described as consummate love.

What I Can Do

Have you experienced, or have you known someone who has experienced the
following unacceptable expression of attractions? Write your answer on a separate
sheet of paper.
a. Cheating
b. Controlling
c. Unreliability
d. Lack of communications skills

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 Answer table below. The situation is written on the first column. On the second
column, write the reasons why these unacceptable expressions of attractions
happen; on the third column, write the possible effects of this kind of relationship;
on the fourth column, write your reactions; and your advice on the fifth column

SITUATION REASONS EFFECT REACTION ADVICE

1. Cheating

2. Controlling

3 Unreliability

4. Lack of
communicatio
ns skills

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 Assessment

A. Write True if the statement is correct and write False if the statement is not
correct. Write your answer on a separate sheet of paper.
1. Attraction is a force that unite people.
2.Alpha males show a specific set of personality like trait, including
directness, dedication, which strength.
3.Companions can go to one another in the midst of hardship.

4. People differ in what they consider attractive.

5. Relationship is a one-way traffic.

6.Many women claim that when they are looking for a long term
relationship partner, they are simply looking for the opposite of an
alpha male
7.Affection is one of the qualities in a relationship that everyone looks
for.

8. According to research study, people differ in what they consider

attractive, and cultural influences on attractiveness.
9.Ladies with broad shoulders and a small waist are not attractive to
men.

10.Intimacy is a sharing of details, emotions and intimate

thoughts

B. Write Yes if the statement is correct and write No if the statement is not correct.
11.Filipino culture is bound to believe that a decent display of
someone's feeling is also a must, to be accepted by society;

12.Hil has leadership and work skills but does not have good looks. Is it
attractive to ladies?

13. Megan dictates to her boyfriend how to dress up and what to eat. Is
this a controlling issue?
14. Is “Love” one of the three components of a healthy relationship
according to Sternberg?

15 Is cheating unacceptable in any relationship

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 Additional Activities

Activity: Relationship Goals

1. List your expectations for your current or future relationship goals.
2. It could be in the form of a song, a quote, a hugot or pick up line

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 Answer Key

Assessment What's More What I Know

A A A
1. True 1. True
1. Personal
2. True 2. True
Relationship
3. True 3. True
4. True 2. Attraction 4. True
5. False 5. False
6. True 3. Impersonal 6. True
7. True Relationship 7. True
8. True 4. Empty Love 8. True
9. False 9. False
10. True 5. Attractiveness 10.True
B B
B
1. Yes 1. Yes
2. Yes 1. Instinct 2. Yes
3. Yes 3. Yes
2. True
4. No 4. No
5. Yes 3. Filipino 5. Yes

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References

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Commitment).docx. Course Hero. Accessed June 06,2020.
https://www.coursehero.com/file/35081925/1-PERDEV-Personal-
Relationship-Attraction-Love-and-Commitmentdocx/
Harrington Rebecca. 7 qualities in women that men find attractive, according to
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https://www.businessinsider.com/what-men-want-in-women-2016-6
LaMeaux, E.C. 4 Things You Need to Know About Attraction. Gaiam. Accessed on
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know-about-attraction
OpenStax Psychology. Prosocial Behavior. Revised June 08 2015, CNX.Org.
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Behavior
Parsons, Britt. 10 Things That Are Unacceptable in Any Relationship. Women
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things-unacceptable-relationship/
Philippine Commission on Women. Safe Spaces Act IRR Signed. PCW. Accessed
on June 6, 2020. https://www.pcw.gov.ph/article/safe-spaces-act-irr-signed).
Psychology Today. Relationship Resources. Psychology Today. Accessed on
August 14, 2020.https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/relationships

19 CO_Q3
_Personal Development SHS
Module 1
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