A Therapeutic Treasure Box For Working With Childr

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Worksheet 2.1
Assessment areas and questions to consider when undertaking
an attachment and trauma-informed assessment
Table 2.1 (adapted from Chapter 5 in Working with Relational and Developmental Trauma
in Children and Adolescents – Treisman, 2016) discusses a variety of areas that can be
considered when assessing a child/family who has experienced relational and developmental
trauma. These questions and areas will vary depending on the child’s “age”, the unique
child and situation, and the assessment/therapy goals. The appropriateness and usefulness
of the questions, including how best to frame, deliver, and measure them, should be
carefully considered. The included questions are by no means an exhaustive or prescriptive
list, and the majority of areas overlap and are interwoven. Some of the questions are
phrased with the term “mother”; however, it is acknowledged that families come in all
different constellations, and therefore it is as important to ask these questions about any
key attachment figure/caregiver.
Some areas might need to be expanded and magnified, whereas others might not be
relevant for the specific child/family in question (imagine a camera capturing as much of
the backdrop as possible with a wide-angle lens compared with taking a zoomed-in shot).
Additionally, some questions might be kept in mind as part of a working hypothesis, but
not asked, or answers to others may be sought through previous information-gathering.
Ideally, an assessor will work systematically to build a wider picture, connect the dots, and
interweave the patchwork pieces in order to form some sort of coherent narrative, working
hypotheses, and initial formulation. This can also be usefully captured in a conceptual map
that visually represents the integrated framework.
A thorough assessment acknowledges that parenting and behaviour does not occur
within a vacuum and is contextually embedded and, therefore, will develop a formulation
based on the interplay and relationship between multiple factors. When assessing, it is
important to hold the dual lens of attachment and trauma within a wider frame of mental
health and child development.
Copyright © Karen Treisman – A Therapeutic Treasure Box for Working with Children and Adolescents with Developmental Trauma – 2018
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Table 2.1 Assessment questions and areas of consideration
Assessing Example questions Additional considerations
area
Did the mother have antenatal care and If not a first-time mother, there may be
what support systems and services were important questions about past pregnancies,
available/used during her pregnancy? motherhood, termination, and/or
How was the pregnancy? How was the miscarriage experiences.
pregnancy described? The following may be helpful supporting
Were there any stressors, traumas, losses, measures:
accidents, injuries, and/or violent situations • The Pregnancy Interview (Slade et al.
reported during the pregnancy? 2007)
Did the mother smoke, drink alcohol, take • Parent Development Interview (Slade
medications, and/or use substances during et al. 2003)
the pregnancy? • Parental Reflective Functioning
Was the pregnancy planned? Questionnaire (Luyten et al., 2017)
What were the parents’ feelings, thoughts, • This is My Baby Interview (Bates et al.,
reactions, and responses about the 1998)
In-utero and post-natal
pregnancy/baby/gender? • Maternal Attachment Inventory (Muller,

What was the “mother’s” prenatal 1994)
attachment and reflective function about • Maternal Foetal Attachment Scale
the baby like to the baby? For example, (Cranley, 1981)
cognitive attachment (e.g. the ability to
conceptualise the foetus as a person or be • Maternal Antenatal Attachment Scale
able to differentiate them from themselves), (Condon, 1993)
emotional attachment (e.g. an empathic • Postpartum Bonding Questionnaire
affectionate bond), attachment behaviours (Brocklington et al. 2001)
(e.g. responding and interacting with
• Mother–Infant Bonding Scale. (Kumar
the foetus), and self-care practices (e.g.
et al. 1997)
maintaining good health).
How was the labour and delivery? Were
there any complications or concerns (e.g.
baby’s growth, weight, or oxygen supply)?
What was the “parent’s” reaction and
responses to the baby?
How was the baby’s name selected?
What was the nature and quality of the
“mother–baby” relationship following
arrival?
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area
Did the child experience trauma, loss, and/ This should be supported by observations
or toxic stress during their development and multiple reports from professionals
(including the in-utero period)? (e.g. the health visitor, nursery worker, GP,
Was the child exposed to toxins during etc.).
their development (e.g. drugs, nicotine, This should also ideally be complemented
medication, alcohol, or household by Sensory and Developmental Profile
products)? questionnaires and measures. Some
Did the child meet their developmental examples are listed below.
Developmental trajectory
milestones? • Infant–Toddler Social and Emotional

Were/are there any developmental delays/ Assessment (ITSEA and BITSEA)
learning disabilities/difficulties or pre- (Carter and Briggs-Gowan, 2005), ages
existing medical conditions? 1–3 years.
What core experiences and skills did they • The Bayley Scales of Infant
miss out on during their development? Development (Bayley, 2006), 1–42
months.
What are their emotional, social, and
developmental needs? How will these • Ages and Stages Questionnaires
change as they develop? (Squires, Bricker, and Twombly, 2002)
– different versions available ranging
from 6 to 60 months old.
• The Communication and Symbolic
Behaviour Scales Developmental Profile
(Wetherby and Prizant, 2001), ages
6–24 months.
Who is in the child’s family/ies? Genograms or eco-maps can be beneficial
What do we know about the family tools to aid these questions.
experiences of trauma, genetic factors, The term “family” should be thought of in
life stressors, conflictual relationships, a broad sense; this may include cousins,
attachment relationships, mental and foster carers, nanny, etc.
physical health diagnoses, learning disability Sibling and extended family relationships
diagnoses, criminal activity, and use of should also be considered.
substances? What impact might these have
had on the child?
What is the quality and nature of the family’s
Family factors
support system?
What is the family’s structure and
organisation (i.e. subsystems, cohesion,
hierarchies, boundaries, and roles)?
What are the family patterns of
communication, conflict-resolution,
decision-making, help-seeking, and
problem-solving?
What are the shared family models, beliefs,
values, stories, and inter-/multi-generational
legacies?
What are the families’ strengths, skills,
protective factors, and resiliencies?
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Who were the child’s primary carers? Is this These questions should be informed by
similar or different now? parenting measures, rich descriptions,
What does the parent/parenting experience specific examples, and observations of
mean to the child? parent–child interactions.
What was the home atmosphere like? Observations should include a variety of
tasks and settings that allow for children’s
What parenting styles/models/quality/ attachment systems to be activated and
relational templates/behavioural for there to be live examples of managing
management did they receive? high-intensity arousal and separation and
Have these been shaped or changed over for co-construction to be seen.
time? If so, how? Observations may include:
How did the parenting meet the different • stressful times of the day such as
developmental stages of the changing child? mealtimes or the morning routine
• watching the family build a LEGO®
structure or play a game together
• naming the family rules or each
member’s likes and dislikes
• seeing the child’s responses when
separated from and reunited with their
primary caregiver or when approached
Parenting and attachment experience
by a stranger.
Children’s representations may be sought in
numerous ways, such as drawing a picture
of their family, making a family sculpt,
sentence-completion tasks, or telling a
story.
Some useful measures might include the
following.
• Strange Situation (Ainsworth et al.,
1978), 11–24 months, adapted versions
available.
• Separation anxiety tests (various
versions available).
• CARE-Index Infancy and CARE-Index
Toddler (Crittenden, 2004).
• Assessment-Q Set (Waters, 1995), 11
months to five years.
• Narrative story stems (various formats
available).
• The Attachment Doll Play Interview for
Pre-schoolers (Oppenheim, 1997).
• School-aged assessment of attachment
(Crittenden, Kozlowska, and Landini
2010), 6–13 years.
• Attachment Interview for Childhood and
Adolescence (Ammaniti et al., 2000),
10–16 years.
• The Child Attachment Interview (Target,
Fonagy, and Shmueli-Goetz, 2003),
approximately 8–13 years.
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area
Who are/were the key relationships in the Consider “family”, professional, and peer
child’s life? relationships.
What are the different types of relationships Some measures that can complement
the child has? What relational losses and this component, along with the parenting
relational riches have they experienced? experience, are listed here.
What are their patterns of relating to • Adult Attachment Interview (George,
others? What have they learned about Kaplan, and Main 1985). Adapted and
“doing and being in” relationships? modified versions available.
How are their interpersonal and social • Working Model of the Child Interview
skills? (Zeanah and Benoit, 1995).
• Parent Development Interview (Slade
et al., 2004).
• Caregiving Interview (George and
Solomon, 2008).
• The Adult–Adolescent Parenting
Inventory (Bavolek and Keene, 2001).
• The Parenting Role Interview (Bifulco
et al., 2008).
• The Insightfulness Assessment (Koren-
Karie and Oppenheim, 2004).
• This is My Baby (Bates and Dozier,
1998).
Relationships
• Parental Reflective Functioning

Questionnaire (Luyten et al., 2009).
• Mayer–Salovey–Caruso Emotional
Intelligence Test (Mayer et al., 2003).
• Emotional Availability Scales (Biringen,
2008).
• The Difficulties in Emotional Regulation
Scale (Gratz and Roemer, 2004).
• Parent–Child Relationship Inventory
(Gerard, 1994).
• Parent–Infant Relationship Global
Assessment (ZERO TO THREE, 2005),
ages 0–3.
• Parent–Infant Relational Assessment
Tool (PIRAT) (Broughton, 2010).
• NCAST Parent–Child Interaction and
Teaching Scales (Mischenko, Cheater,
and Street, 2004).
• Marschak Interaction Method
(Marschak, 1960).
• Parenting Stress Index (Abidin, 1995).
• The Parenting Daily Hassles Scale
(Crinic and Greenberg, 1990).
• Parenting Sense of Competence
(Johnston and Mash, 1989).
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• Maternal Self-Efficacy Scale (Teti and
Gelfand, 1991).
• Family Environment Scale (Moos and
Moos, 1983).
• Family Relationship Index (Holahan and
Moos, 1983).
• Family Adaptability and Cohesion Scale
(Olsen, Gorall, and Tiesel, 2006).
• Home Observation for Measurement of
the Environment (Caldwell and Bradley,
1984).
What is the child/family’s relationship to This might be supported by drawing their
relationship to professional
services/professionals? service journey, map, or chronology.

Service history and
What services have been involved? It can be useful to explore their

conceptualisations/beliefs/hopes/worries/
support
What other interventions/assessments expectations about, for example, “therapy”.

have taken place, and how were these
experienced and responded to? Where appropriate, this might include
questions around capacity, motivation, and
readiness to change.
If the child was or is placed in care: What Chronologies and life-story books can be
was the reason they were removed? What helpful here.
has/was their placement history been?
What separations, losses, and transitions
have they experienced? How have they
Placement history
managed and responded to these?

What have their relationships with their
caregivers been? What was the quality of
the placement/s?
What was their understanding of the
placement/s and of being in care?
Have they experienced multiple
placements? If so, why and how were these
managed?
What are their contact arrangements?
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area
What age was the child when the traumas These questions take into account some
occurred? of the eight domains proposed to be
What was the nature/frequency/severity/ affected by complex trauma. These include
duration of the traumas? attachment, biology, affect regulation,
dissociation, behavioural control, cognition,
How did the traumas come to light? What and self-concept (Cook et al., 2005). Some
were the child’s and others’ responses to trauma and dissociation measures are listed
the traumas? here.
What was the child’s relationship to • Clinician-administered PTSD Scale
the person/people who carried out the (Nader et al., 1996), ages 8–18.
traumas? What are their feelings (positive
and negative) towards them? • Children’s PTSD Inventory (Saigh et al.,
2000), ages 6–18.
What consequences were there of the
traumas and losses? • UCLA Trauma Reminders Inventory
(Steinberg et al., 2013), ages 7–12, and
What were the child’s/family’s an adolescent version available.
understanding, sense-making, attributions,
and meaning-making about the traumas? • Child PTSD Symptom Scale (Foa et al.,
2001), ages 8–18.
What might the child’s core beliefs, internal
working models, and sense of self be? • Trauma Symptom Checklist for Children
(Briere, 2005), different age versions
What was the child’s experience of shame available.
and blame?
Traumas and losses
• PTSD Semi-Structured Interview and

What have they learned about emotional and Observation Record for Infants and
behavioural arousal-regulation? Young Children (Sheeringa and Zeanah,
How have they learned to manage stress, 1994), ages 0–7.
frustration, impulses, feeling out of control, • Children’s Impact of Traumatic Events
and transitions? Scale (Wolfe et al., 1991), ages 8–16.
What is their ability to trust or to feel safe? • Child’s Reactions to Traumatic Event
What is the child’s relationship like with Scale (Jones, Fletcher, and Ribbe,
their body and sensory world? 2002), ages 6–18.
• Structured Interview for Disorders of
Extreme Stress (SIDES), adolescent
version (Pelcovitz et al., 1997), ages
12–18.
• The Angie/Andy Cartoon Trauma Scale
(Praver et al., 2000), ages 6–12.
• Child Dissociative Checklist (Putnam,
Helmers, and Trickett, 1993), ages 5–12.
• The Child Dissociative Experience Scale
(Stolbach, 1997).
• Children’s Perceptual Alterations Scale
(Evers-Szostak and Sanders, 1992),
ages 8–12.
• Adolescent Dissociative Experiences
Scale (Armstrong et al., 1997), ages
11–18.
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Define the presenting difficulty. What is it It can be helpful to visually map, chart,
and what does it look like? Can you give an diarise, and/or track the behaviour.
example of when it happened? Scaling questions can also be useful here.
When did the presenting difficulty start and Some behaviour-based measures are listed
how long has it been occurring for? here.
How frequently does it occur? • Children’s Global Assessment Scale
When does it occur and not occur? (Shaffer, Gould, and Brasic, 1983), ages
What patterns, triggers, hotspots, and 4–16.
variables (environmental, sensory, • DAWBA (Goodman, Ford, and Richards,
autobiographical, physical, cognitive, 2000), ages 5–17.
relational, emotional, situational) make the • The Behaviour Assessment System
Presenting difficulties and subsequent impact
presenting difficulty bigger, smaller, absent, for Children (Reynolds and Kamphaus,
present, etc.? 2004).
What is the impact of the difficulty on the • The Achenbach System of Empirically
child and those around them (e.g. self- Based Assessment includes an
care, self-presentation, sleep, eating, mood, integrated set of rating forms for
school life, relationships, learning, hobbies, children age 1.5 through to adulthood
daily-living skills, self-esteem, etc.)? (Achenbach, 2009).
How stressful is the difficulty to the child • Vineland Adaptive Behaviour Scales
and to their Team Around the Child? What is (Sparrow, Cicchetti, and Balla, 2005),
the difficulty making trickier or stopping the different age range versions available.
child/caregivers from doing?
What are the child’s sense-making,
meaning-making, attributions, and
explanations about the difficulty? How do
these fit with their Team Around the Child’s
views?
What might the difficulty be communicating
and what story is it telling? What function
might it be serving? (See Box 6.4
and “Behaviour as communication” in
Chapter 8.)
What responses has the difficulty received?
What interventions/messages/strategies
have been put in place to address the
difficulty?
How is the child doing in school (socially, Some useful cognitive and executive
academically, behaviourally, emotionally)? function measures include the following.
How are their cognitive and executive • Wechsler Preschool and Primary Scale
function skills? of Intelligence (WPSSI) (Wechsler,
How are their play, peer, and social skills 1967).
Education and recreation
(including relationships with teachers)? • Wechsler Intelligence Scale for Children

Have they had any additional input, such (WISC) (Wechsler, 1991).
as one-to-one support, neuropsychological • The Developmental NEuroPSYchological
assessment, speech and language support, Assessment (NEPSY) (Korkman, Kirk,
and/or behavioural support? and Kemp, 1998).
What extracurricular activities/interests do • The Kaufman Assessment Battery
they have? for Children (Kaufman and Kaufman,
2004).
Particular domains of cognitive functioning,
for example executive functioning, may
need to be investigated further by specific
measures.
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area
What are/were the protective factors? See Chapter 5.
Strengths, positive qualities, and
What has and is going well? What positive

steps forward have they already made?
protective factors
What adversities have they survived?

What are their strengths, skills, resiliencies,
protective factors, positive qualities, coping
strategies, and interests?
What motivates them? What makes them
light up and feel good?
What are their hopes, dreams, and
ambitions?
What areas of risk, child protection, and These areas may differ if categorised
safety need to be taken into account and into sections of parental, child, and social
assessed (e.g. suicidal ideation/self-harm/ risk factors and separated as historical or
self-neglect/social withdrawal/non- current risk factors (static vs. dynamic).
Risk and safety
compliance with medication/going missing/

criminal activity/antisocial behaviour/
violence/sexual exploitation/substance
abuse/behaviour of a sexual nature)?
What safety plans and risk assessments are
in place?
How are these working and being
monitored?
What are the important systemic, contextual, An example: Jala reported to her teacher
and organisational dynamics (e.g. cultural, that she was having nightmares. Her
financial, social, political, familial, gender, teacher interpreted these as distressing
religious, and organisational factors)? and referred Jala to a therapist. Jala made
sense of these nightmares differently; she
saw them as reflecting her spiritual status
whereby her ancestors were conveying
Contextual factors
powerful messages to her. Jala also shared

that she had experienced female genital
mutilation (FGM). This coincided with a new
governmental focus on FGM, coupled with
the therapist having a specialist interest
in FGM. Jala required an interpreter. She
also practised Islam, a key part of her
identity. Jala’s immigration status was being
reviewed, and she was living in temporary
housing.
How would these wider factors impact and
colour the assessment and responses?

Worksheet 2.2
Pieces of me
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Worksheet 2.3
“All About Me” puzzle
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“All About Me” patchwork
Worksheet 2.4
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“All About Me” rainbow
Worksheet 2.5
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Worksheet 2.6
Genograms and cultural genograms
This worksheet includes some sample questions that can be asked when co-creating
genograms and cultural genograms. (Note: It is not an exhaustive or prescriptive list and
needs to be tailored to the individual.) Example words and phrasings are included; however,
these need to be adjusted and individualised for the unique person/family. As stated in
previous sections, it is optimal to use interactive and child-friendly materials to bring the
genograms alive and to gather additional information, such as using figurines, puppets,
stickers, and/or pebbles.
»» Who is in your family?
»» What are their connections and relationships to each other?
»» Can you tell me a bit about… (name)?
»» If you were to describe… (name) in three words, how would you describe them?
»» What kind of relationship does… (name) have with… (name)? (The child may want
to choose a symbol or type of pattern to capture this – they then can make a key for
the different symbols.)
»» Who on here are you “closest to” and why?
»» Who are you “least close to” and why?
»» Who do you have the “most fun” with?
»» How do you do being a “boy”?
»» How does your family do “praise”?
»» Who shows “the anger” the most?
»» Who else feels the same about… (name)? Who else agrees with… (name)?
»» Who do you think you are most like/different to?
»» Is anyone else interested in “football” (replace the word football)?
»» How is the way your “mum” responds to you when you are “sad” different from how
your “grandma” responds?
»» Who do you know the least about? If they were here, what questions would you ask?
»» Are there any patterns or themes you notice?
»» Is there anything that surprised you or interested you when creating your genogram?
»» How are/were “emotions” dealt with, expressed, and managed in your family?
What stories and messages are/were there about “emotions”? (Replace the word
“emotions” with the intended focus, for example death, loss, secrets, mental health,
police, learning disability, stigma, etc.)

»» How was/is “affection” shown in your family? (Replace the word “affection” with
the intended focus, for example anger, love, pride, shame, disappointment, etc.)
»» How were/are “differences/conflicts” managed and responded to in your family?
(Replace the words “differences/conflicts” with the intended focus, for example
disobedience, expressions of sexuality, successes, achievements, mistakes, etc.)
»» How do/did you celebrate achievements/birthdays/successes in your family?
»» What was… (a family member’s) experiences of “school”? (Replace the word “school”
with the intended focus, for example mental health, racism, loss, trauma, making
friends, rejection, bullying, etc.)
»» What do you think… (a family member’s) experience of being “parented” was? How
is this similar or different to… (name)?
»» How, if at all, do you think… (a family member’s) experiences impacted… (name)? For
example: How, if at all, do you think your grandmother’s experiences of deprivation
and war impacted and influenced your father’s relationship to money? How, if at
all, do you think your mother’s experiences of physical chastisement influenced her
relationship to discipline and behavioural management?
»» What stories of strength and resilience are there in your family?
»» Can you tell me a story of one of your family members showing a strength or
something you are proud to share?
Cultural genograms
Cultural genograms expand on the above. They further facilitate an exploration of life
themes whilst attending to, and mapping out, areas of historical, geographical, and cultural
processes and identity that have occurred in the family life-cycle. They can be a sensitive
way to explore areas of difference and similarities, such as (this list is not exhaustive)
religion, spirituality, culture, ability, education, class, age, sexuality, gender, and race, as well
as creating an opportunity to explore children’s representations, multigenerational legacies,
and cultural conceptualisations. Cultural genograms can also be helpful in identifying
patterns, including those around shame, pride, acceptance, rejection, historical hostility,
and transmission of trauma, and they can be key in gathering a deeper understanding of
how the child/family positions themselves within their wider socio-political context and
community.
The following questions should be interwoven with the questions above (they need to be
tailored to the individual child, goals, presenting difficulty, relationship, etc.).
»» What “hardships” did your “grandmother” experience and what was her sense-
making around these? (Replace the word “hardships” with the intended focus, for
example losses, traumas, obstacles, etc.)
»» How was “mental health” viewed by… (name)? (Replace the words “mental health”
with the intended focus, for example HIV/AIDS, marriage, death, divorce, abuse,
discipline, etc.)

»» What role did and does “gender” play within the family? (Replace the word “gender”
with the intended focus, for example sexuality, culture, birth order, etc.)
»» How do you do being a “girl”?
»» How does your family do “praise”?
»» How is…understood in your culture? (Fill in the blank with the intended focus, for
example HIV/AIDS, marriage, death, divorce, abuse, discipline, crying, sex, etc.)
»» What “emotions” are valued or avoided in… (name)? (Replace the word “emotions”
with the intended focus.)
»» What “religious rituals, values, or beliefs” did you grow up with? (Replace the words
“religious rituals, values, or beliefs” with the intended focus, for example beliefs
around death, beliefs around divorce, beliefs around sex, beliefs around being a
woman, etc.)
»» What or who influenced the development of these beliefs and values?
»» What would happen if these beliefs or values were challenged or disagreed with?
»» What “collective traumas and losses” has… (name) experienced? (Replace the words
“collective traumas and losses” with the intended focus.)
»» How have family values changed over time?
»» What stories within your family/community/identified cultural group are there of
“strength and resilience”? (Replace the words “strength and resilience” with the
intended focus, for example bravery, overcoming adversity, hardship, discrimination,
persecution, etc.)

Worksheet 2.7
Sentence-completion ideas
These will vary depending on the individual and on the focus of the work. Only a few should
be selected at a time. These can be used as suggestions or can be cut up and made into
sentence-completion cards (see A Therapeutic Treasure Deck of Sentence Completion and
Feelings Cards, Treisman 2017).
“I feel happy when…”

“I miss…”
“I love…”
“I cry when…”
“My favourite place is…”
“My favourite colour is…”
“My favourite time of year/season is…”
“My favourite animal is…”
“My favourite sport/team is…”
“My favourite item is…”
“My favourite TV shows/movies are…”
“If I could close my eyes and be transported to any place, I would go to…”
“If I ruled the world, I would…”
“I wish my family would…”
“I think my ‘parents’ should…” (Replace the word “parents” with another focus, for example father,
mother, sister, teacher, etc.).
“My ‘family’ make me feel…” (Replace the word “family” with another focus, for example friends,
teachers, foster carers, etc.)
“I wish I had…”
“I wish I could…”
“It’s a great day when...”
“I’m happiest when…”
“I feel good when…”
“I am most proud of…”
“Someone I look up to is…”
“If I could go back in time to a moment, I would go back to…”
“If I could play one moment over and over again, I would play…”

“If I could be someone else for the day, I would be…”
“…puts a smile on my face.”
“The things that make the ‘anger’ visit are…” (Replace the word “anger” with other emotions.)
“The things that make the ‘sadness’ visit are…” (Replace the word “sadness” with other emotions.)
“The things that make the ‘worry/fear’ visit are…” (Replace the words “worry/fear” with other
emotions.)
“The things that make the ‘excitement/joy’ visit are…” (Replace the words “excitement/joy” with other
emotions.)
“I feel ‘scared’ when…” (Replace the word “scared” with other emotions such as sadness/angry/happy/
embarrassed/excited.)
“I feel ‘angry’ when…” (Replace the word “angry” with other emotions.)
“I feel ‘sad’ when…” (Replace the word “sad” with other emotions.)
“I feel ‘excited/joyful’ when…” (Replace the words “excited/joyful” with other emotions.)
“I feel ‘frustrated’ when…” (Replace the word “frustrated” with other emotions.)
“When I feel ‘scared’ I…” (Replace the word “scared” with other emotions such as sadness/angry/
happy/embarrassed/excited.)
“When I feel ‘angry’ I…” (Replace the word “angry” with other emotions – think about what you do,
say, feel, and show.)
“When I feel ‘sad’ I…” (Replace the word “sad” with other emotions – think about what you do, say,
feel, and show.)
“When I feel ‘frustrated’ I…” (Replace the word “frustrated” with other emotions – think about what you
do, say, feel, and show.)
“When I feel ‘excited/happy’ I…” (Replace the words “excited/happy” with other emotions – think about
what you do, say, feel, and show.)
“I think a lot about…”
“I try not to think about…”
“The things that get under my skin are…”
“The things that I am fighting for are…”
“The things that are most important to me are…”
“Before I go to sleep, I think about…”
“When I am home…”
“The thing I need is…”
“If people could truly see inside me, they would see…”
“I wish people knew about me that…”
“The thing I would change is…”
“I keep myself safe by…”

Making wishes genie
Worksheet 2.8

Worksheet 2.9
Wishing wizard or dreaming dragon
What does my Wishing Wizard or Dreaming Dragon look like?

Draw, sculpt, write, and collage to show your responses.
What does my Wishing Wizard or Dreaming Dragon sound like/smell like?
What does my Wishing Wizard or Dreaming Dragon do and help me with?

Draw, sculpt, write, and collage to show your responses.
What messages do I have to give to my Wishing Wizard or Dreaming Dragon?

Worksheet 3.1
Feeling unsafe/putting up defences

Worksheet 3.2
Multi-layered triggers
Sensory (auditory, olfactory, tactile/ Autobiographical

physical, gustatory, visual)
Emotional/relational/core beliefs/life Other

scripts

Worksheet 3.3
Exploring the feeling of safety
Draw, collage, sculpt, write, or depict in sand your responses.

The feeling of “safety” is like…
If I gave the feeling of “safety” a name, I would call it…
If the feeling of “safety” was a colour, it would be…
If the feeling of “safety” was a shape, it would be…

If the feeling of “safety” was an animal, it would be…
If the feeling of “safety” was an object/item/metaphor, it would be…
If the feeling of “safety” could talk, it would say… What would its voice sound like?
Some examples of things young people have likened the feelings of safety to include: “a
warm blanket”, “a bubble”, “a shield”, “a guardian angel”, “a deep breath”, “floating on a
cloud”, “being rooted like a tree”, “large loving hands”, “candy floss”, and “sunlight on
my skin”.

Worksheet 3.4
Exploring the feelings and meaning of safety further
Draw what feeling safe looks like/feels like to you…
Draw a specific time when you felt safe…

Worksheet 3.5
Exploring my different senses
I like to smell I like to touch/feel
I like to hear I like to taste
I like to see Other

Worksheet 3.6
My sensory hand
In the space below, draw around your hand. If you prefer you can draw around someone
else’s hand or use a cut-out hand template. Write the categories below on each finger and
thumb, and then decorate.
»» Something I like to touch.
»» Something I like to see.
»» Something I like to hear.
»» Something I like to taste.
»» Something I like to smell.

Worksheet 3.7
Things that bug me (triggers)

Things that push my buttons (triggers)

Worksheet 3.8

Worksheet 3.9
Grounding, soothing, and regulating cards
Describe my environment Go to my safe place (physical and imaginary)

Think about all of the senses (see, feel, hear, taste, and use my safe place creative reminders
touch, balance) Name of my safe place:
Safe place cue word:
What can I see, smell, do, taste, hear?
How do I feel emotionally and physically when in

my safe place?
Use and explore my sensory regulating box Do a… (e.g. puzzle, crossword, drawing)
Sort… (e.g. Rubik’s cube, papers, buttons)
Remind myself of my safe protective and The things I can smell are…
supportive “person” (e.g. lavender, camomile, rosemary, vanilla, etc.)
Name:
Description:
Qualities:
The things I can touch are…
(e.g. fluffy material, velvet, silk, bubble wrap, etc.)
Listen to music/play an instrument/sing a song Do something pampering

(e.g. painting nails, massaging hands, brushing
hair/skin, having an aromatherapy bath, using a
massaging chair, etc.)
My go-to song is:
I will…

Do my breathing and relaxation exercises Do my muscle tensing and releasing exercises
Step 1: Step 1:
Step 2: Step 2:
Step 3: Step 3:
Step 4: Step 4:
Do my mindfulness, meditation, yoga, and/or tai Clean, organise, or tidy

chi exercises
Rip, tear, or scrunch up some paper Give myself an alternating butterfly hug
Blow bubbles, blow feathers, or blow a balloon Drink from a straw/have a hot drink with some
spices like cinnamon and nutmeg
Watch the movement of a lava lamp, a snow Interact with water

globe, fish in an aquarium, a rain stick, or glitter (e.g. swimming water play, having a bath, playing
in a bottle with water)
Squeeze using alternating hands, a stress ball, Do some physical exercise

clay, or some Play-Doh (e.g. cycling, jogging, dancing, doing star jumps,
Or stretch using a theraband or elastic shaking it out, etc.)
I will…

Do some regulating exercises Make some rhythmic movement
(e.g. drawing, putting weight on my back, swinging, (e.g. playing the drums, stamping my feet,
twisting, rocking, crawling, climbing, wrapping dancing, or clapping my hands).
myself in a blanket (weighted), etc.)
I will… I will…
Go for a walk/run/cycle in nature Interact with animals
Chew or suck something like a sweet, dried fruit, Wring out/twist/squeeze a wet towel
chewing gum, or a chewy bracelet
Play a brain-based game such as… Do, listen, or watch something that will make
me laugh…
Look at positive memories such as photos, cards, Let out a silent scream/find a quiet place to
or sentimental items scream/bang a cushion
(e.g. positive memory treasure box or sparkle
moments diary)
Run cold water on my face Do something creative like…

Count to ten or from ten backwards to zero Do some colouring in, trace a picture, or design
a mandala
Imagery and re-scripting My favourite inspirational quotes/sayings/

mottos/songs/movies are
When a difficult memory, thought, and/or feeling

comes:
I will imagine…
I will remember…
I will tell myself…
Name it to tame it (Siegel and Bryson, 2011) Positive self-talk

Name/say out loud how you feel. This feeling can I am…
also be drawn, acted out, danced, sculpted, depicted
in sand, written about, etc.
I can…
I will…
I know…
Things are different now because…
Speak to someone who I feel gets me

???
That person is…

Octopus of options
Worksheet 3.10

My treasure box of tools

Worksheet 3.11

Worksheet 3.12
A sample coping card
I will cope, calm, and soothe myself by…
1. Using my sensory box
2. Listening to “Beautiful” by Christina Aguilera
3. Giving myself butterfly hugs
4. Going to my safe place: “breeze”
I will tell myself: “I am strong”, “I am not alone”, and “I am in control”
I will call…
I will go to… Nathan, Lara, Karen, or Julie

Worksheet 3.13
A blank template for creating a coping card
My Coping Card
1.
2.
3.
4.
I will tell myself:
I will call…
I will go to…

Worksheet 4.1
I recognise when…is feeling…because
they show me through their…
Draw/sculpt/write/collage/depict in sand your responses.
Body Words
Facial expressions Behaviours

Worksheet 4.2
I recognise when I am feeling…because I show it through my…
Draw, sculpt, write, collage, or depict in sand your responses.
Body Words

Worksheet 4.3
Puzzle of different feelings

Worksheet 4.4
Puzzle person of different feelings

Patchwork of feelings
Worksheet 4.5

Box of feelings
Worksheet 4.6

Worksheet 4.7
Feelings and emotions cards





Worksheet 4.8
Table of feelings words
Describe, draw, act out, paint, sculpt, make, or collage the different feelings and emotions.
Sad/Upset Confused Bored
Happy Lost Disappointed
Scared/Fearful Hurt Surprised
Embarrassed Helpless Hopeless
Loved Appreciated Proud
Excited Hopeful Inspired

Energetic Shocked Angry
Confident Safe Secure
Jealous Frustrated Alone
Tired Lucky Disgusted
Relaxed On edge Trapped
Worried Betrayed Low
??? ??? ???

Worksheet 4.9
Anger is (using metaphors)…

About the “anger” (replace “anger” with your own choice of name)
»» If the “anger” was a colour, it would be…
»» If the “anger” was a shape, it would be…
»» If the “anger” was an animal, it would be…
»» If the “anger” was an object/item/metaphor, it would be…
»» If the “anger” was a flower, a tree, or something from nature, it would be…
»» If the “anger” could talk, it would say… (What would its voice sound like?)
»» The “anger” stops me from…
»» The “anger” helps me…
»» Without the “anger”, I would…
»» If the “anger” disappeared, I would miss…
»» …makes the “anger” much bigger.
»» …makes the “anger” smaller.
»» I am stronger and bigger than the “anger” when…
Expanding creatively on the metaphor

Once a metaphor/name/item/object has been chosen and discussed in detail, it can be
helpfully embedded and expanded on by carrying out related expressive and creative
activities.
For example, if a child says that their feeling of “anger” is like a shark, they might sculpt,
mould, draw, paint, or make “the shark”. Similarly, the child might be encouraged to act as
if they are “the shark” or fleeing from “the shark”; they may be supported in using physical
movement, puppets, masks, or a sand-tray exercise to explore this metaphor further.
The above questions can be used to bring the metaphor to life; for example, What is “the
shark’s” name? What does “the shark” sound like? If “the shark” could talk, what would it
say? What makes “the shark” stronger? What scares “the shark”?
Additionally, the metaphor can be played with according to the need. For example, the
ocean, other sharks, boats, dolphins, divers, fish, seaweed, and waves can be discussed as
being symbolic.
Photo 4.30 Anger externalised as a “Spike the Snappy Shark”

Worksheet 4.10
Sadness is (using metaphors)…

About the “sadness/low mood” (replace “sadness/
low mood” with your own choice of name)
»» If the “sadness/low mood” was a colour, it would be…
»» If the “sadness/low mood” was a shape, it would be…
»» If the “sadness/low mood” was an animal, it would be…
»» If the “sadness/low mood” was a tree, flower, or something from nature, it would
be…
»» If the “sadness/low mood” was an object/item/metaphor, it would be…
»» If the “sadness/low mood” could talk, it would say… (What would its voice sound
like?)
»» The “sadness/low mood” stops me from…
»» The “sadness/low mood” helps me…
»» Without the “sadness/low mood” I would…
»» If the “sadness/low mood” disappeared I would miss…
»» …makes the “sadness/low mood” much bigger.
»» …makes the “sadness/low mood” smaller.
»» I am stronger and bigger than the “sadness/low mood” when…

activities.
For example, if a child says that their feeling of “sadness” is like a “dark cloud”, they
might sculpt, mould, draw, paint, or make “the dark cloud”. Similarly, the child might be
encouraged to act using physical movement, puppets, masks, or a sand-tray exercise to
explore “the dark cloud” further.
The above questions can be used to bring the metaphor to life; for example: What is “the
dark cloud’s” name? What does “the dark cloud” sound like? If “the dark cloud” could talk,
what would it say? What makes “the dark cloud” stronger? What overshadows or moves
“the dark cloud”?
The metaphor can also be played with according to the need. For example, the rain,
other clouds, wind, sun, storms, rainbows, and thunder can be discussed as being symbolic.

Worksheet 4.11
Happiness is (using metaphors)…

About the “happiness/joy/excitement” (replace “happiness/
joy/excitement” with your own choice of name)
»» If the “happiness/joy/excitement” was a colour, it would be…
»» If the “happiness/joy/excitement” was a shape, it would be…
»» If the “happiness/joy/excitement” was an animal, it would be…
»» If the “happiness/joy/excitement” was a tree, flower, or something from nature, it
would be…
»» If the “happiness/joy/excitement” was an object/item/person/metaphor, it would
be…
»» If the “happiness/joy/excitement” could talk, it would say… (What would its voice
sound like?)
»» The “happiness/joy/excitement” stops me from…
»» The “happiness/joy/excitement” helps me…
»» Without the “happiness/joy/excitement” I would…
»» If the “happiness/joy/excitement” disappeared I would miss…
»» …makes the “happiness/joy/excitement” much bigger.
»» …makes the “happiness/joy/excitement” smaller.

activities.
For example, if a child says that their feeling of “happiness” is like “fireworks dancing
and exploding”, they might sculpt, mould, draw, paint, or make “the fireworks”. Similarly, the
child might be encouraged to act using physical movement, puppets, masks, or a sand-tray
exercise to explore “the fireworks” further.
The above questions can be used to bring the metaphor to life; for example: What
are “the fireworks” called? What do “the fireworks” sound like? If “the fireworks” could
talk, what would they say? What makes “the fireworks” stronger? What overshadows or
dampens “the fireworks”? Who lights “the fireworks”? Who else can see and appreciate
“the fireworks”? What are the different colours in “the fireworks”? What would make “the
fireworks” visit more and become brighter?
Photo 4.31 Externalising happiness as fireworks using magic scratch paper

Worksheet 4.12
Worry is (using metaphors)…

About the “worry/fear” (replace “worry/
fear” with your own choice of name)
»» If the “worry/fear” was a colour, it would be…
»» If the “worry/fear” was a shape, it would be…
»» If the “worry/fear” was an animal, it would be…
»» If the “worry/fear” was a flower, a tree, or something from nature, it would be…
»» If the “worry/fear” was an object/item/metaphor, it would be…
»» If the “worry/fear” could talk, it would say… (What would its voice sound like?)
»» The “worry/fear” stops me from…
»» The “worry/fear” helps me…
»» Without the “worry/fear” I would…
»» If the “worry/fear” disappeared I would miss…
»» …makes the “worry/fear” much bigger.
»» …makes the “worry/fear” smaller.
»» I am stronger and bigger than the “worry/fear” when…

activities.
For example, if a child says that their feeling of “worry/fear” is like “butterflies in their
tummy”, they might sculpt, mould, draw, collage, paint, or make “butterflies in their tummy”.
Similarly, the child might be encouraged to act using physical movement, puppets, masks,
or a sand-tray exercise to explore “the butterflies in their tummy” further.
The above questions can be used to bring the metaphor to life; for example: What are the
different butterflies’ names? What do “the butterflies” sound like? If “the butterflies” could
talk, what would they say? What makes “the butterflies” stronger and flitter more? What
would make “the butterflies” fly away? When do “the butterflies” sleep and rest?
Additionally, the metaphor can be played with according to the need. For example,
caterpillars, flying, wings, butterfly hugs, and butterfly kisses can be symbolically discussed
as being symbolic.
Photo 4.32 Butterflies in my tummy artwork

Worksheet 4.13
Draw or use Play-Doh to show the different
emotions on the blank faces
Angry Sad Happy
Scared Confused Frustrated
Bored Excited Tired

Proud Worried Surprised
Embarrassed I felt…when… I felt…when…
I felt…when… ??? ???

Worksheet 4.14
Feelings wheel
(Some may prefer to call it a feelings pie, pizza, or cake.)

Worksheet 4.15
Head of thoughts and feelings
Draw or write in or around the head.

Worksheet 4.16
House of feelings
Draw or make a house.

If you were to look through the windows or open the doors to the different rooms, what
would you see in the happy room, sad room, angry room, scary room, fun room, etc.?

Worksheet 4.17
Feelings TV and feelings channels
If I turned the TV on to the… (angry, sad, happy, scared, fun, etc.) channel, what would I see?

Worksheet 4.18
Colour, draw, or design where and how you feel
the different core emotions in your body
If these emotions were a colour, a shape, or a thing, what would they be? If they had a
voice, what would they say? Can you think about a specific time or story when you felt
these emotions?
Joy/
Sadness Fear Anger Shame Curiosity ? ?
excitement

Worksheet 4.19
Feelings thermometer
Choose a different word or statement to represent the feelings for each colour. For example,
green could be calm and cool as a cucumber and black could be raging like an exploding
volcano. Then colour them in and choose which colour you would place yourself in at
different times.
Black
Red
Orange
Yellow
Blue
Green

Worksheet 4.20
Thoughts, feelings, physical sensations, and behaviours
What is a thought?
What is a feeling?
What is a physical sensation?
What is a behaviour?
How are thoughts, feelings, physical sensations, and

behaviours different and separate to each other?
How are thoughts, feelings, physical sensations,
and behaviours connected to each other?
Thoughts:
How do/did I
think?
Thoughts,
Behaviour: feelings, Emotions:
What do I/ physical How do/did
did I do? sensations, and I feel?
behaviours
Physical:
How do/did
I feel in my
body?

Worksheet 4.21
Head, heart, and hands
Draw, collage, act, or write your responses.
Head Heart Hands

(What was I/am I thinking?) (How did I/do I feel (What was I/am I doing?)
emotionally and
physically?)

Worksheet 4.22
Thoughts, feelings, actions, and sensations diary
What was going on How was I feeling What was I thinking? What did I do? What happened? If I could go back in
around me at the emotionally and in my time, what would I do
time? body? differently?

Worksheet 5.1
Common core beliefs worksheet
I am not worth protecting

I am unlovable I am a target
I am unsafe I am trapped
I am nothing
I am a mistake
I deserve to be hurt
The world is a
dangerous/
threatening place
Others are threatening/

The world is unfair dangerous
The world is a hostile place Others are not to be
The world is an Others won’t trusted
unpredictable place protect me
Others are
abusive
The world is unfair

The world is cold
I am unimportant
The world is lonely
I am worthless/useless
Others are unpredictable/
I am invisible inconsistent
I am not good enough Others are out to get me
Others are
I am different
unavailable
I am inadequate
Others don’t
I am incompetent notice me/like me
I am stupid I am a loser
I am vulnerable
I am damaged
I am bad
I am alone

Worksheet 5.2
Magnetic thoughts and feelings worksheet

Worksheet 5.3
Positive reframing and alternatives to “don’t”, “stop”, and “no”
State what you want the child to do. Say what you want, and what behaviours you want to
see more of, as opposed to what you don’t want to see.
The table below gives some examples of “no” and “don’t” statements and some possible
corresponding positive reframes. There are blank rows left at the end for you to complete
and to individualise.
Some commands and disciplinary statements Some ways of reframing these to communicate
using don’t, stop, and no, and negative to the child what behaviours we do want to see
descriptors and positively reframing the child’s behaviours
Don’t shout Please speak quietly/Use your indoor voice
Stop running Please walk beside me/Walk slowly
Don’t hit Please use your kind hands/Keep your hands to

yourself
Stop stealing I need you to leave the items where you found
them/Ask before taking something
Don’t snatch the toys from… Share your toys with…
Don’t lie Please tell me the truth
Stop being late I need you to come home on time
Stop ignoring me I would really appreciate it if you could listen to

me/Please use your listening ears
Stop misbehaving I need you to behave by…
He is so attention-seeking He is attention-needing and attachment-seeking
She is so resistant She is understandably cautious and hesitant
He is so hyperactive He is spirited and energetic
She is manipulative She has had to learn lots of different ways to get
her needs met
He is so easily distracted He is very easily fascinated, curious, and/or

interested
He doesn’t want to try He must be so exhausted by trying
She refuses to sit still She seems overstimulated

Worksheet 5.4
List of positive descriptors and adjectives
(These can be used to guide all of the strengths-based exercises and the writing of a
take-back practice letter or can be directly circled, underlined, or highlighted by the young
person/worker/surrounding adults.)
Fun Enthusiastic Passionate
Funny Organised Spiritual
Helpful Reliable Practical
Kind Interesting Decisive
Thoughtful Interested Assertive
Loyal Relaxed Adaptable
Caring Adventurous Survivor
Honest Open Friendly

Strong Trustworthy Warm
Brave Sporty Unique
Creative Attractive Calm
Clever Confident Compassionate
Persistent Resourceful Sensible
Responsible Analytical Energetic
Smart Talkative Empathetic
Artistic Affectionate Considerate
Musical Witty Courageous
Charming Dynamic Determined

Logical Frank Gentle
Sociable Generous Hardworking
Imaginative Independent Inventive
Intuitive/strong
Neat/tidy Loving
gut instinct
Humble Down to earth Optimistic
Proactive Polite Patient
Dreamer Balanced Content
Hopeful Reflective Curious
Excitable Diplomatic Active
Ambitious Grateful Appreciative

Articulate Authentic Open-minded
Cultured Daring Direct
Eager Enchanting Ethical
Elegant Fashionable Forgiving
Inquisitive Knowledgeable Likeable
Loveable Lucky Mature
Motivated Nurturing Perceptive
Problem-solver Realistic Resilient
Spontaneous Thorough Understanding
Wise

Worksheet 5.5
Reflecting on my strengths and positive qualities
If you became a different person tomorrow, or life changed as you know it, what would
you miss about yourself and your life, even if it is the tiniest thing? (Draw, write down,
sculpt, collage, tell a story, or use photos.)
If you could go back and replay one happy and special moment over and over again,
what would it be? (Draw, write down, sculpt, collage, tell a story, or use photos.)

If you were to give yourself an award, what would it be for? (Draw, write down, sculpt,
collage, tell a story, or use photos.)
If you looked up in the sky and there was a feel-good message (guaranteed to put
a smile on your face) written on the clouds, being led by an aeroplane, or carved in
the rocks, what would that be? (Draw, write down, sculpt, collage, tell a story, or use
photos.)

Worksheet 5.6
SMART goals: think SMART
Specific Be very clear and concrete in what you want to achieve. It needs to be defined.
Ask yourself: what specific behaviour do we want to see more of? Consider breaking the
goal down into smaller steps.
For example, instead of “being good” or “good behaviour”, what specifically do we want to
work on or to see? What does “being good” look like and mean? This might be tweaked to
be something more specific, like staying close to me when we go to the park or brushing
your teeth in the morning, and at night time.
Measurable How will you know when you have achieved your goal? How will you be able
to measure and monitor this goal/change? What will you be doing at that time? What will
others notice you are doing? What will be different? What will you have started or be doing
regularly? What will you have stopped or be doing less of?
Achievable/Attainable Ensure that the goals are not too high or unattainable. Don’t set
yourself up to fail! Consider setting smaller goals on your way up to the big one. Celebrate
your successes. If you don’t achieve what you set out to, then ask: What could you do
differently and what would make it more likely to succeed next time or to get closer to
the goal?
Realistic Is this goal realistic? Are there any measures that need to be put in place to make
this more realistic and manageable? Again, think about breaking it down, one step at a time.

For example, if a child is struggling to behave in class, and is having several incidents a day
in school, is expecting and setting a goal to behave all day or all week realistic? Consider
the young person’s emotional, developmental, and social age/needs versus their chronological
age/needs. Also, reflect on their journey so far and the skills that they need to learn in order
to meet the goal.
Time-limited Set a reasonable and realistic time limit to achieve the goal. When will your
goal be re-evaluated/adjusted? When will behaviour change be measured? When will
rewards be given?
Some suggestions for turning a wide goal into something more achievable
If a young person/parent/carer says something wide, vague, and non-specific such as “I
want to be happy”, try to break this down into more manageable, achievable, and specific
steps. We want to frame the goal, define it, and get a good grasp on what it actually is. It
is very difficult to target something or to make measurable change if it is open and large.
For example: What does happiness look like? How will you know you are happy? How will
I know you are happy? What would you be doing differently if you were happy? What would
be different from now? Talk me through a day-to-day account of what “doing happiness” or
“being happy” would look like. What things make you feel a bit happy now? Can you describe an
example of when you felt happy? What stops you from feeling happy? What makes you feel less
happy? How will you know when you are happy enough?
Use scaling questions can also be helpful in narrowing this down. For example, on a
scale where zero is extremely unhappy and things could not get worse and ten is extremely
happy where things are at the best place that they could be, where would you place yourself?
If the young person says three, you might explore what is keeping them at a three, instead of a
zero, one, or two. Following this, you may want to reflect with them on what they think would
support them to move to a five, six, or seven and what different numbers felt like and looked like
at different times.
This is similar to if a young person lists several different things that they would like to
work on all in one go: it is important to prioritise these things and to think about which ones
are best to work on first, which ones are interconnected, and which ones can wait. It is far
easier to make effective change when focusing on one thing at a time, which it is hoped
will have a ripple effect rather than getting muddled with lots of different complex avenues.

Obstacles/barriers
Consider, reflect, and anticipate any obstacles and barriers that may impact on the success
of achieving the proposed goal (these can be drawn, sculpted, or likened to metaphors).
Plan and problem-solve around how these may be reduced, minimised, or managed.
Creative ways of goal-setting

(See Chapter 2 and earlier in Chapter 5.)
»» Discuss children’s/family’s wishes. Props such as a wand, magic ball, genie, dream
catcher, fortune teller, fairy, and angel can be helpful in bringing this process alive.
»» Support the child to think about what things they want to be different and how. Using
props or metaphors, such as a time machine, a magic door, or a time capsule, can
aid these conversations.
»» Pictorially, represent different steps and journeys, for example by using images of
ladders, steps, a path, a road, snakes and ladders, pieces of LEGO®, and/or pieces of
a puzzle (see Chapters 6 and 10).
Reward charts
Sometimes, if appropriate and done in an attachment and trauma-informed way that is
focused on enhancing strengths and pro-social behaviour, SMART goals can be used to
support the creation and implementation of a reward chart. The following ideas offer some
top tips on making and administering reward charts.
Introducing the reward chart

Once you have gone through the above SMART goal steps and feel clear about the purpose
and goals of the reward chart, you can go on to introduce it to your child in a friendly, non-
punitive, and playful way. Where possible, link the reward chart to something the child will
be interested in, for example their favourite hobby/TV character/place.
Children often need some practice and role-playing about how and when to use the
reward chart; this can be supported by using teddies, dolls, and puppets. Try and introduce
the concept of the reward chart when the child is regulated and in a “thinking brain”
moment and a “learning head space”. They might need lots of repetition and reminders
whilst making sense of the reward chart.

Common traps to be mindful of when designing
and implementing a reward chart
Giving up or changing tack too early: Sometimes, the smallest tweak or rethink to a reward
chart can make a world of difference. Like with all techniques, they are generally slow
burners and need some time, practice, repetition, consistency, and persistence before the
effectiveness can be seen.
Expecting failure: We need to go on believing on the ability of change and in the rationale for
the technique. Half the battle is believing; this significantly impacts how we subsequently
implement the tool.
Magnifying the negative: Try and think about the positive behaviour. What do we want to see
more of? What will be rewarded? Remember, the more we focus on the positive behaviours,
the more often they are likely to occur and grow. For example, instead of a chart targeted
at “No shouting”, you can reframe this by giving a sticker for every time the child “Speaks
quietly” or “Uses their indoor voice”.
Too broad: This means trying to have a reward chart that encapsulates everything. The most
effective reward charts are small and specific. For example, instead of a reward chart for
being good, one might make a reward chart for packing up toys. Remember to think SMART.
Taking away rewards: Rewards are to be given and earned when the positive behaviours are
shown; they are not to be taken away or lost. Reward charts are not to be used as a form
of punishment. For example, if a child brushes their teeth, they earn a sticker; however, if
they refuse to brush their teeth, they don’t earn a sticker that time but the previous one is
not removed. If the child does not do as they are told, other consequences and parenting
strategies can be put in place, but it is important not to remove previously earned rewards.
Reward charts are not the only tool: Reward charts can be an effective way to manage
tricky behaviours and/or increase positive behaviours. However, they should be used in the
context of other parenting strategies. For example, if a child has a reward chart for brushing
their teeth, then this should be the focus, but when they do other “good” behaviours these
can be rewarded in other ways. Generally, reward charts work most effectively when they
are as specific and as narrow as possible. Some children can manage a higher number of
target behaviours or multiple reward charts but, in most cases, starting simple and working
up is more likely to achieve successful outcomes.
Fixed and constant: As we know, children are constantly developing and changing, so we
need to review and evaluate the reward chart. Do they need another reward chart targeting
a different behaviour? Do they need to stick with this behaviour for a bit longer to embed it?
Is the reward chart still effective? Is it proving too difficult to gain a reward? Do they need
it broken down into smaller steps?
Consistency: If there are multiple people in the household, it is important that everyone is
aware of how the reward chart works and is coordinated and consistent in using it.
Incentives: Where possible, make sure you select an incentive that the child is interested in
and has some ownership over. Also, ensure that it is manageable, for example promising
a child a trip to a theme park after ten reward stickers is likely to prove expensive and
unrealistic on a long-term basis, especially if they are getting several stickers a day.

Worksheet 5.7
My treasure box diary
Days of the Things to ask myself (draw, collage, record, sculpt, or write my
week and thoughts): What was a positive thing that I did today? What positive
date qualities does that say about me? What is a positive thing in others
or the world that I saw, noticed, or heard about today? What was my
favourite thing about today (a thing that made me smile or a moment
that if I could I would bottle up)? When was a time today when I felt
good about myself/proud of myself/had fun?
Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday

Thursday
Friday
Saturday
Sunday
Other
thoughts
and
things to
remember

Worksheet 5.8
Gifts I have been given and gifts that I have to give…
Gifts I have been given
Gifts I already have myself that I can give to others

Worksheet 5.9
Bottling up special moments
This is like taking a mental snapshot or soaking in a special moment. Which moments would you bottle up and why? Write or draw on the bottles
below and try to give each one a label. If you prefer, you can label and fill actual bottles.
Try and remember and hold on to all the details, the smells, the sounds, the tastes, the feelings, the movements, and more of each memory
and moment…

Worksheet 5.10
Puzzle of positives

Patchwork of positives
Worksheet 5.11

Worksheet 5.12
Star of strengths

Worksheet 5.13
Tree of Life Narrative Therapy technique
(This tool should only be carried out/supported by trained professionals and those who are
familiar with Narrative Therapy philosophies, techniques, and ideas, as well as models of
trauma, resilience, and attachment.)
Photos 5.44 and 5.45 Creative representations of the Tree of Life
The Tree of Life (ToL) is a Narrative Therapy tool originally developed by Ncazelo Ncube, a
Zimbabwean psychologist, for children who had been orphaned by HIV/AIDS. However, the
ToL has since been extended to working with numerous age groups and in wide-reaching
areas. The ToL aims to support people to strengthen their relationships with their history,
culture, and significant relationships.
In this technique, children use a tree as a metaphor for their lives. Often, these
representations are in pictorial form. Children can express their ideas in whichever way
they choose, including using objects, pictures, paints, collage, sculpture, etc.
Step 1 Discussion about trees

Children are supported to have discussions about trees, for example about their favourite
tree, their feelings about trees, the variety of trees in the world, and the characteristics,
purpose, and function of trees.
Step 2 Making and creating the trees

This can be over a prolonged period to allow for richness, discussion, and creativity. A
range of expressive modalities and methods can be used.
The tree consists of six parts:
»» The roots (these represent where the child came from, their family life, their family
name, stories/songs/quotes/sayings from their past, and their ancestry).

»» The ground (this represents the child’s present world, and their everyday activities/
hobbies/interests/likes).
»» The trunk (this represents the child’s strengths, resiliencies, positive qualities, and
skills).
»» The branches (these represent the child’s hopes, wishes, goals, and dreams).
»» The leaves (these represent important people in the child’s life; these can be people
who are real, imagined, or dead, inspirational people, pets, etc.).
»» The fruits (these represent the physical, psychological, and social gifts that the child
has been given by others).
Step 3 Forest and community of trees

If the tree has been created in a group, this is where they can be displayed together to create
a forest of trees – a community. This can support children in feeling part of something
and being listened to. The group may choose to reflect on what they have been struck
by/learned from/been inspired by/impressed with in others’ trees. If the tree has been
created in individual sessions, this concept can be applied to the Team Around the Child if
appropriate.
Step 4 The hazards and storms that trees/children/families face

After being rooted and creating one’s tree, the group/individual then discusses the storms
and dangers faced by trees and can use this as a metaphor for thinking of ways of weathering
their own life storms. Sample questions might include: What hazards do trees and forests
sometimes face? Are trees free from danger? Are the dangers the tree’s fault? How do animals
and children respond to storms that come into their lives? How do animals and children try
to protect themselves? Are storms always present in their lives? Are lives sometimes free of
storms? What can be done when the storms have passed?
Step 5 Celebration ceremony and certificate

The ToL process is usually completed with a certificate and ceremony celebration.
Extensions and adaptation of the ToL

Since development, the ToL has been extended and creatively applied in a range of
contexts. For example, through using a football pitch metaphor with former child soldiers
(Denborough, 2008) or a kite of life, focusing on moving people from intergenerational
conflict to intergenerational alliance (Denborough, 2010).
More examples of and information on the ToL are available from:
»» http://dulwichcentre.com.au/the-tree-of-life
»» Denborough, D. (2008). Collective Narrative Practice: Responding to Individuals,
Groups, and Communities who have Experienced Trauma. Adelaide: Dulwich Centre
Publications.

Worksheet 5.14
Time capsule

Making wishes genie
Worksheet 5.15

Worksheet 5.16
Wishing wizard or dreaming dragon
What does my wishing wizard or dreaming dragon look like? (Draw, sculpt, write,
collage, or depict your responses.)
What does my wishing wizard or dreaming dragon sound like/smell like?
What does my wishing wizard or dreaming dragon do and help me with? (Draw,
sculpt, write, collage, or depict your responses.)
What messages do I have to give my wishing wizard or dreaming dragon?

Worksheet 5.17
Strengths-based approach: writing a take-back practice letter
Guidance on how to use these questions

The following questions offer some possibilities and options for reflecting on and identifying
young people’s/carers’/families’/parents’/colleagues’ strengths, skills, and positive qualities.
These can be powerfully pulled together and documented in a letter, email, poem, story, or
card. Alternatively, these can be recorded on a video camera or phone. They can also be
used as inspiration to complement some of the previous tools, such as writing them on a
pillow case, adding them into the child’s treasure box, putting them in the sparkle moments
diary, or making a collage of them.
You may also want to use Worksheet 5.4 for inspiration for positive descriptive words. It
can also be helpful to draw on responses and input from the Team Around the Child.
This list is not prescriptive or exhaustive. Each question can be expanded on by asking
thickening questions and embedding them through creative means.
Think about a young person/parent/colleague/client:
»» What has gone well? What has been achieved so far? What steps have been taken?
What can they do already? (Think about their journey and the distance already
travelled.)
»» What hobbies and activities does the person engage in, enjoy, and excel in? What
makes them sparkle/get excited/feel proud/be happy?
»» What skills, strengths, successes, and positive qualities of theirs have you been
struck by/inspired by/impressed by? What are their superpowers?
»» If you were writing a review or recommendation about this person, what positive
things would you say to others about them? If you had to give them an award for
something positive, what would it be for?
»» If you were stranded on an island with them, what skills of theirs would you
appreciate?
»» If they became a different person or life as you know it changed, what would you
miss about them?
»» If you were no longer with them/seeing them, what parts of their personality would
you miss?
»» How has knowing them made an impression on you? What have you learned from
them?
»» What will you take forward from what you have learned from them?
»» What are your wishes, hopes, and dreams for them?
»» How can these skills, strengths, successes, and positive qualities be recognised,
acknowledged, noticed, celebrated, and built on?

Worksheet 6.1
Keeping myself safe

Worksheet 6.2
Core emotions and history of emotions exercise
Be mindful: this can be a powerful exercise to do yourself or with parents/carers; however,

as with all the activities, it can be triggering and evoke a range of feelings and memories.
It therefore needs to be done within a safe and secure therapeutic relationship and space.
»» Draw/paint/make a circle.
Inside the circle, using colour, shape, and size, represent how much your primary caregiver
gave to you the core emotions of sadness, fear, joy, anger, shame, and curiosity.

Reflect on and explore what is interesting/surprising about this. Consider if and how this
has had an influence on your current relationship with sadness, fear, joy, anger, shame,
and curiosity.
Reflect on and consider the following: When you experienced… (anger, sadness, fear, and
shame) as a child, how did you calm or comfort yourself? How did or didn’t your parents/
carers support you with these feelings?
When you experienced… (joy, excitement, or curiosity) as a child, how was this responded
to/fostered/encouraged by your parents/carers?
How similar or different is this now in your adult relationships and/or parenting of your own
children?

Worksheet 6.3
Listening with my whole body and brain: attending to the
multiple layers and different shades of communication
My eyes: making eye contact and showing that I am engaged,

present, interested, and compassionate through my eyes
My mouth: being quiet when necessary, listening,

and speaking kindly, calmly, and thoughtfully
My body: being actively engaged, calm,

welcoming, regulated, and open
My brain: being present, regulated, reflective, and focused
My hands: being open, still, inviting, and/

or mirroring the conversation
My heart: feeling and connecting with

what the other person is saying
My ears: actively listening and hearing what is said
?????

Worksheet 6.4
Exploring the nature and quality of the parent–child relationship
What is the current parent–child relationship like? What three words could be used to
describe the relationship? What specific examples can be given to describe each of
the three words? How are these words different or similar and depending on whose
perspective?
What are the strengths and positive qualities within the relationship? What is it like when
it is at its best? (Draw, collage, sculpt, or depict in sand the responses.)

Where are the tensions within the relationship? What is it like when it is at its worst?
(Draw, collage, sculpt, or depict in sand the responses.)
What name or title would the parent/child give their relationship at its best and at its
worst? What does it look like when it is at its best/at its worst? (Draw, collage, sculpt, or
depict in sand the responses.)
If the relationship/difficulty/conflict was described as an item, object, thing, colour, shape,

animal, or person, what would it be and why? What would it look like/be like/sound like?
If it could talk, what would it say? (Draw, collage, sculpt, or depict in sand the responses.)

What does the… (e.g. the conflict) stop you both from doing? How does the…help you
both? If the…disappeared, what would you both miss/what would you gain? What makes
the…bigger/smaller/stronger/weaker? (Draw, collage, sculpt, or depict in sand the
responses.) (The term “conflict” can be replaced with a range of other concepts/terms.)
Who would you rather have in charge of their life – … (e.g. the conflict) or both of you?
What is it like to share your life with…? What plans does the…have on your life? Have you
ever managed to deal with…in a different way, without “the…” (externalised name)? If so,
how? (Draw, collage, sculpt, or depict in sand the responses.)
Worksheet 6.5

Similarities, differences, and commonalities
What would be in the “Me” section? What would be in the “You” section? What would be in the “Us” section in the middle? What do you notice?
What are you surprised by/interested in?
Me Us

Worksheet 6.6
Our relationship then, now, and in the future
Write, draw, collage, depict in a sand tray, or sculpt the responses.
Our relationship then Our relationship now Our relationship in the

future

Worksheet 6.7
Bottling up special moments
and moment…

Our relationship time capsule

Worksheet 6.8

Worksheet 6.9
Wishes for myself, you, and our relationship
My wish for myself is… (Draw, sculpt, depict in sand tray, or collage the responses.)
My wish for you is… (Draw, sculpt, depict in sand tray, or collage the responses.)
My wish for our relationship is… (Draw, sculpt, depict in sand tray, or collage the
responses.)

Worksheet 6.10
Strengths-based approach: writing a take-
back practice letter with a relational focus

These can be powerfully pulled together and documented in a letter, email, poem, story, or
card. Alternatively, these can be recorded on a video camera or phone. They can also be
used as inspiration to complement some of the previous tools, such as writing them on a
pillow case, adding them into the child’s treasure box, putting them in the sparkle moments
diary, or making a collage of them.
It can also be helpful to draw on responses and input from the Team around the Family.
Support a young person to think about their “caregiver” and vice versa. The focus can
be on each other as people or on the parent–child relationship itself:
»» What has gone/is going well? What has been achieved so far? What steps have been
already taken? (Think about the journey and the distance already travelled.)
»» Can you think of one time or moment where you enjoyed each other? What was this
and what did it look like, feel like, and mean to you? How could you share this feeling
and memory with them?
»» What hobbies and activities does…engage, enjoy, and excel in? What about shared
and joint activities within the parent–child relationship that you do together? What
makes them sparkle/get excited/feel proud/be happy?
struck/inspired/impressed by? What are their superpowers? What are the relational
superpowers?
»» If you were writing a review or recommendation about this person/the relationship,

what positive things would you say to others about them? If you had to give them/
the relationship an award for something positive, what would it be for?
»» If you were stranded on an island with them, what skills of theirs or properties of the
relationship would you appreciate?
»» If they became a different person or life changed as you know it, what would you
miss about them and the relationship?
»» If you were no longer with them/seeing them, what parts of their personality and of
the relationship would you miss?

»» How has knowing them and being in a relationship with them made an impression
on you? What have you learned from them?
»» What will you take forward from what you have learned from them/from the
relationship?
»» What are your wishes, hopes, and dreams for them, and for the relationship?

Worksheet 6.11
Feeding and strengthening our relationship
What can we do to nurture and nourish our relationship? What feeds, waters,
strengthens, and protects our “relationship flower”? (Draw, sculpt, collage, write, or
depict in sand your responses.)
What can we do to make our relationship tower stronger? What bricks need to be
celebrated and noticed? Which bricks need to be added? How can the tower be
looked after and maintained? (Draw, sculpt, collage, write, or depict in a sand tray your
responses or build your relationship tower and label the different bricks.)

Worksheet 7.1
When I feel unsafe and need to protect myself

Worksheet 7.2
Reflecting on my best and worst self visually
Draw, write, collage, or depict in sand your responses.
What do I look like and feel when I am at What do I look like and feel when I am at
my worst? my best?
What does my world look and feel like when What does my world look and feel like when
I am at my worst? I am at my best?

Worksheet 7.3
I recognise when I am feeling depleted/
stressed because I show it through my…
Draw, sculpt, or write your responses.
Body Words

Worksheet 7.4
Filling my emotional, physical, cognitive, and spiritual containers
What or who fills your emotional, physical, cognitive, and spiritual containers up? What do your containers look and feel like when they are full
up and energised? What do your emotional containers look and feel like when they are depleted and running on empty? What are you doing to
fill others’ emotional, physical, cognitive, and spiritual containers up, and how is this similar or different to what you are doing for your own or
receiving for your own containers?
Draw or write these responses below.
Emotional Physical Cognitive Spiritual

Worksheet 7.5
What pushes my reward and feel-good buttons?
What or who pushes your emotional, physical, cognitive, social, and spiritual reward and
feel-good buttons? What do you look and feel like when your reward and feel-good buttons
have been pressed and released? What do you look and feel like when your feel-good and
reward buttons are not pressed or are rusty? What are you doing to push other people’s
reward and trigger buttons, and how is this similar or different to how much you are
pushing your own reward buttons or having other people push your reward buttons?
Draw or write your responses below.
Emotional Physical Social
Spiritual Cognitive Other…

Worksheet 7.6
Multi-layered triggers
Draw or write your triggers for each heading below.
Sensory (auditory, olfactory, tactile/ Autobiographical

physical, gustatory, visual)
Emotional/relational/core beliefs/life Other

scripts

Worksheet 7.7
Hotspots and triggers with regard to a
specific behaviour/situation
Write, draw, collage, or sculpt your responses.
Is there a particular behaviour/difficulty/theme/person that is currently worrying and/or

distressing you? What is it? Describe and define it.
What is your relationship to… (that specific behaviour/situation/theme)? What is your

history with/of…?

What does…mean to you?
What issues does it stir up in you? What feelings/memories/experiences are associated

with it?
What ideas/values/beliefs/hotspots do you have that are being evoked/triggered/

challenged by the…?

What, if any, impact does having a deeper understanding of why this pushes your buttons
have?
How can you reduce/notice/manage this trigger? How can you find ways to stay regulated
and grounded when this hotspot is pushed?

Worksheet 7.8
My treasure box diary
Days of the Things to ask myself

week and
Draw, collage, record, sculpt, or write the responses.
date
What was a positive thing I did today? What positive qualities does that
say about me?
What is a positive thing in others or the world that I saw, noticed, or
heard about today?
What was my favourite thing about today (a thing that made me smile, or
a moment that if I could I would bottle up)?
When was there a time today when I felt good about myself/proud of
myself/had fun?
Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday

Thursday
Friday
Saturday
Sunday
Other
thoughts
and
things to
remember

Worksheet 7.9
Grounding, soothing, and regulating idea cards
Describe my environment Go to my safe place (physical and imaginary)

Think about all of the senses (see, feel, hear, taste, and use my safe place creative reminders
touch, balance) Name of my safe place:
Safe place cue word:
What can I see, smell, do, taste, hear?
How do I feel emotionally and physically when in

my safe place?
Use and explore my sensory regulating box Do a… (e.g. puzzle, crossword, drawing)
Sort… (e.g. Rubik’s cube, papers, buttons)
Remind myself of my safe protective and The things I can smell are…
supportive “person” (e.g. lavender, camomile, rosemary, vanilla, etc.)
Name:
Description:
Qualities:
The things I can touch are…
(e.g. fluffy material, velvet, silk, bubble wrap, etc.)
Listen to music/play an instrument/sing a song Do something pampering

(e.g. painting nails, massaging hands, brushing
hair/skin, having an aromatherapy bath, using a
massaging chair, etc.)
My go-to song is:
I will…

Do my breathing and relaxation exercises Do my muscle tensing and releasing exercises
Step 1: Step 1:
Step 2: Step 2:
Step 3: Step 3:
Step 4: Step 4:
Do my mindfulness, meditation, yoga, and/or tai Clean, organise, or tidy

chi exercises
Rip, tear, or scrunch up some paper Give myself an alternating butterfly hug
Blow bubbles, blow feathers, or blow a balloon Drink from a straw/have a hot drink with some
spices like cinnamon and nutmeg
Watch the movement of a lava lamp, a snow Interact with water

globe, fish in an aquarium, a rain stick, or glitter (e.g. swimming water play, having a bath, playing
in a bottle with water)
Squeeze using alternating hands, a stress ball, Do some physical exercise

clay, or some Play-Doh (e.g. cycling, jogging, dancing, doing star jumps,
Or stretch using a theraband or elastic shaking it out, etc.)
I will…

Do some regulating exercises Make some rhythmic movement
(e.g. drawing, putting weight on my back, swinging, (e.g. playing the drums, stamping my feet,
twisting, rocking, crawling, climbing, wrapping dancing, or clapping my hands)
myself in a blanket (weighted), etc.)
I will… I will…
Go for a walk/run/cycle in nature Interact with animals
Chew or suck something like a sweet, dried fruit, Wring out/twist/squeeze a wet towel
chewing gum, or a chewy bracelet
Play a brain-based game such as… Do, listen, or watch something that will make
me laugh…
Look at positive memories such as photos, cards, Let out a silent scream/find a quiet place to
or sentimental items scream/bang a cushion
(e.g. positive memory treasure box or sparkle
moments diary)
Run cold water on my face Do something creative like…

Count to ten or from ten backwards to zero Do some colouring in, trace a picture, or design
a mandala
Imagery and re-scripting My favourite inspirational quotes/sayings/

mottos/songs/movies are
When a difficult memory, thought, and/or feeling

comes:
I will imagine…
I will remember…
I will tell myself…
Name it to tame it (Siegel and Bryson, 2011) Positive self-talk

Name/say out loud how you feel. This feeling can I am…
also be drawn, acted out, danced, sculpted, depicted
in sand, written about, etc.
I can…
I will…
I know…
Things are different now because…
Speak to someone who I feel gets me

???
That person is…

Worksheet 7.10
Coping card template
My Coping Card
I will cope, calm, and soothe myself by…
1.
2.
3.
I will tell myself:
I will call…
I will go to…

Worksheet 7.11
My self-care pledge and plan
Write, collage, or draw the responses below.
Why taking care of myself is important (including what I look like and the advantages
of when I am at my best, and what I look like and the hazards of when I am depleted)…
I am committed to taking care of myself because…
I know I need to really do this when…
The things that make me feel happy, calm, relaxed, and fed are…

The things that support my mind are…
The things that support my body are…
The things that support my spirit are…
The things that support my relationships are…
Every day I will…

Every week I will…
Every…I will…
People I can see and places that I can go to remind me of the importance of this
and to help are…
Barriers and obstacles to doing the above are…
Ways I will address these are…
Signature…

Worksheet 8.1
Anger is (using metaphors)…

About the “anger” (replace “anger” with your own choice of name)
»» If the “anger” was a colour, it would be…
»» If the “anger” was a shape, it would be…
»» If the “anger” was an animal, it would be…
»» If the “anger” was an object/item/metaphor, it would be…
»» If the “anger” was a flower, a tree, or something from nature, it would be…
»» If the “anger” could talk, it would say… (What would its voice sound like?)
»» The “anger” stops me from…
»» The “anger” helps me…
»» Without the “anger”, I would…
»» If the “anger” disappeared, I would miss…
»» …makes the “anger” much bigger.
»» …makes the “anger” smaller.
»» I am stronger and bigger than the “anger” when…

activities.
For example, if a child says that their feeling of “anger” is like a shark, they might sculpt,
mould, draw, paint, or make “the shark”. Similarly, the child might be encouraged to act as
if they are “the shark” or fleeing from “the shark”; they may be supported in using physical
movement, puppets, masks, or a sand-tray exercise to explore this metaphor further.
The above questions can be used to bring the metaphor to life; for example: What is “the
shark’s” name? What does “the shark” sound like? If “the shark” could talk, what would it
say? What makes “the shark” stronger? What scares “the shark”?
Additionally, the metaphor can be played with according to the need. For example, the
ocean, other sharks, boats, dolphins, divers, fish, seaweed, and waves can be discussed as
being symbolic.
Photo 8.25 Anger externalised as a “Spike the Snappy Shark”

Worksheet 8.2
What does…look like?
Use Play-Doh, clay, pens, pencils, or collage to depict the emotion.

Worksheet 8.3
I recognise when I am feeling…because I show it through my…
Draw, sculpt, write, collage, or depict in sand your responses.
Body Words

Worksheet 8.4
Colour, draw, or design where and how you feel
the different core emotions in your body
Colour, draw, or design where and how you feel the different core emotions in your body.
If these emotions were a colour, a shape, or a thing, what would they be? If they had
a voice, what would they say? Can you think about a specific time or story when you felt
these emotions?
Joy/
Sadness Fear Anger Shame Curiosity ? ?
excitement

Worksheet 8.5
Externalisation and Narrative Therapy example questions
What is…called? What does it look like? What does it sound like? What does it say? What
does it do?
It can be very helpful for children to draw, paint, sculpt, or mould the character they
create. Various therapeutic avenues could then be followed, like the examples given below
(examples of names children have chosen for aggressive behaviour are used):
How did you manage to outsmart “Raging Roy”? How much bigger or stronger are you
than “Vaughn the Volcano”? What skills and strengths did you use to conquer “Spike the
Smasher”? Who would you rather have in charge of your life – “Thor the Thunder” or you?
What is it like to share your life with “Strangling Stan”? What plans does the “Kicking Ninja”
have for your life? What is “Raging Bull” stopping you from doing?
How is “The Fire” affecting your life? When the voice of “The Crusher” is less strong, what
will you be doing that you’re not doing now? How are “The Shards of Glass” attempting to
prevent you from enjoying the calm you were able to acknowledge before the trauma? What
plans does the “Farryl the Fist” have for your life? When “The Volcano” is about to erupt,
what can you do to lessen the effect of the lava?
When did “The Lava” first appear in your life? Was “The Lava” around in your family?
What purpose did “The Lava” serve for you back then? In what ways did “The Lava” help
you? How does “The Lava” affect you and your life now? What does “The Lava” stop you
from doing/getting? What’s “The Lava’s” cleverest trick or superpower? If “The Lava” were
to pack his bags and leave, what would you miss about him? What have you learned from
him that can be useful in your life? Have you ever managed to deal with a conflict in a
different way, without “The Lava”; if so, how?

Worksheet 8.6
Strengths (advantages) and hazards
(disadvantages) of expressing the anger
Strengths and advantages of expressing Hazards and disadvantages of

anger expressing anger
Worksheet 8.7
Thoughts, feelings, and actions diary and reflection log
What was going on How was I feeling What was I thinking? What did I do? What happened? If I could go back in
around me at the emotionally and in my time, what would I do
time? body? differently?


Worksheet 8.8
Different responses and reflection
Choose one way of responding differently to a particular situation.
What is this way?
What are some of the advantages of responding in this way?
Draw yourself (or sculpt, act, or depict it in sand if you prefer) responding in this way.

Pot of bubbling feelings

Worksheet 8.9

Worksheet 8.10
Thermometer of feelings
Choose a different word or statement to represent the feelings for each colour, for example
green being calm and cool as a cucumber and black for being raging like an exploding
volcano. Then you can colour in the blocks below and choose which colour you would place
yourself on at different times.
Black
Red
Orange
Yellow
Blue
Green

Worksheet 8.11
Crib sheet: strengthening and supporting the development
of executive function and cognitive skills
Introduction
Executive function difficulties are more common in children who have experienced relational
and developmental trauma. These pockets of difficulties can have multi-layered implications
for children’s learning and life skills (Loman et al., 2013; Spann et al., 2012). Executive
function difficulties can include struggling with: planning, organising, completing tasks,
goal-setting, anticipating consequences, orientation, spatial awareness, initiating, attending,
memorising, processing information, concentrating, exerting self-control, switching focus,
managing impulse-control, utilising cognitive flexibility, problem-solving, abstract thinking,
reasoning, making inferences, and understanding object permanency (Pollak et al., 2010;
Samuelson et al., 2010).
This worksheet will offer some activities and strategies to support the development
and strengthening of these skills. This list is not exhaustive or prescriptive, needs to be
informed by a thorough assessment and formulation, and needs to be tailored to the specific
individual/situation. Keep in mind that every child is unique and is living within a unique
context.
These activities may give some ideas that can be helpful for caregivers, teachers, etc.
in supporting children to optimise their learning. They could be tailored and adapted to be
interwoven with recommendations on neuropsychological assessments. These strategies
are just one piece of the overall puzzle of supporting children with executive function
difficulties. They need to be complemented by other pieces of the puzzle, such as strategies
around sensory processing and sensory integration, regulating emotions, and increasing
feelings of safety.
Practical and creative strategies for strengthening and

supporting the development of executive function skills
»» Information should be communicated in the most accessible way possible. This
includes using short and concise sentences that use child-friendly and “age”-
appropriate language and where necessary are broken up into smaller, more
manageable parts (think about SMART goals; see Worksheet 5.6). For the majority
of children, starting small and having fewer choices to begin with supports their
ability to grasp new concepts.
»» Children will generally benefit from having more time than required to absorb and
process information. Children are likely to need key information shared and repeated
several times in different ways and using different communication styles.
»» Where possible, children should understand the rationale, expectations, and steps of
a task/instruction. These should be as sequenced and as coherent as possible. It is
important that children’s understanding of the information is checked. Space should

be made, and children should feel safe and able, to ask questions and for clarity and
for repetition.
»» Key information should be shared when the child is in a learning and thinking mode,
rather than when dysregulated, distracted, and/or full up. This includes finding ways
to increase their feelings of safety and decrease their feelings of danger/threat. See
Chapter 3 for different ways of supporting multi-levelled safety and of identifying
multi-sensory triggers.
»» Poignant information should be shared with a child when they have had sufficient
sleep, have eaten, have been to the toilet, and have limited external distractions.
»» Children will often benefit from having brain breaks in between information and
buffered around transition points, as well as having regulating items to hand. This
might also include integrating physical activities, art activities, relaxation-based
activities, or sensory-based activities into these brain breaks. See Chapter 3 for a
range of ideas on supporting this, as well as Worksheet 3.9, which provides a range
of regulating activities on a set of cards.
»» Information should be communicated and contextualised using multi-modal and
multi-approach tools. For example, in addition to explaining a concept, it is helpful
to employ other modes such as using visual aids, props, diagrams, flow charts, pie
graphs, video recordings, photos, etc. For example, if someone is explaining the
brain, the information is likely to be embedded further and engaged more if using
brain models, brain puzzles, brain drawings, metaphors about the brain, podcasts
about the brain, etc. Similarly, if someone is discussing and describing a tree, it is
likely to be more interactive and absorbed if a child is shown a tree, encouraged to
touch a tree, looks at pictures of a tree, makes art out of the bark and the leaves of
the tree, etc. This style incorporates the left and the right brain, as well as utilising
and activating multiple senses.
»» Role-playing and practising particular skills when the child is in their thinking and
learning brain can be very helpful. One can use dolls, teddies, masks, or puppets to
enhance these discussions and to make them feel less exposing and more playful.
»» Making real-world associations with concepts and items can enhance some children’s
memory and engagement with them. This includes bringing concepts alive through
strategies such as using rhymes, acronyms, poems, catchy sayings, metaphors, etc.
»» Children can also be supported to think about the links and connections between
different concepts and actions. This can be enhanced through things like making
paper chains, links on a chain, or paper dolls, using string on a path, or games like
dominoes. Breaking down situations or concepts into smaller steps and looking at
them as, for example, pieces of a puzzle, bricks in a house, or parts of a cog can also
be useful. Worksheets exploring SMART goals can also be useful in supporting these
skills (see Worksheets 4.20, 4.21, and 5.6).
»» Problem-solving skills should be modelled by surrounding adults and actively
encouraged. This might include things such as writing an advantages and
disadvantages list, drawing or sculpting the different potential paths/outcomes/
decisions, making a paper chain of events, drawing a spidergram, or making a visual

representation of possible options (e.g. an octopus of options, the treasure box of
tools, the protective palm, and so forth; see Chapters 3 and 8).
»» Some children find focusing and filtering information trickier than others. Finding
ways to highlight and prioritise information can be helpful for these children. This
might include things like underlining or highlighting important information, circling
information, using reminder post-it notes, writing lists/checklists, and/or using
sorting systems such as colour coding.
»» Children may also benefit from having reminder, crib, flash, or cue cards of key
information. I often talk with children about the skill of focusing in by likening it to
putting a camera on zoom or using a magic magnifying glass. I then support children
to practise using their zoom lens or their magic magnifying glass.
»» Some children might benefit from having prompts, anchors, or scaffolding techniques.
For example, a child writing a story may be supported by having some story starter
ideas, looking at a picture book, reading and seeing some actual examples, looking at
a physical item for inspiration, or being given a heading/cue word.
»» It can also be helpful to support children to have a visual record of the steps that are
involved in a particular task, for example through using pictorial/visual checklists,
visual diaries, visual calendars, or visual timetables. These can be enhanced by
making the steps into comic strips, mental/actual movies, plays, or social stories.
These can also be brought to life by supporting the child to draw the pictures of the
different steps or taking actual photographs. These can be made more interactive by
using Velcro, buttons, plastic sleeves, etc.
»» Labelling and sorting items can also be useful, for example having labelled notepads,
pencil cases, cupboards, folders, etc. This might be enhanced by having sorting
systems such as colour coding or putting things in alphabetical order.
»» Children can be supported to have more of a sense of time and movement through
using visual timers, alarms, stopwatches, and child-friendly clocks, and through
words like “before”, “after”, and “next”. See Chapter 10 for more specific strategies
around supporting transitions.
»» Games can be great ways of strengthening children’s executive function skills
whilst also having fun. Games include: Grandmother’s footsteps; freeze; musical
statues; follow the leader; Simon says; Twister; snap; cards; Connect 4; Jenga; using
labyrinths, mazes, or Rubik’s cubes; head, shoulders, knees, and toes; Pictionary or
charades; and copying games, for example making a Play-Doh sculpture or drawing
a picture and asking the child to copy it and vice versa.
»» Cognitive games can also be very helpful in practising these skills. These include:
crosswords; quizzes; games like I spy, “I went shopping and bought”, and “Can you
tell me all the countries beginning with the letter A?”; brain gym activities (e.g. cross
crawl, number 8, and brain buttons); games such as “How many different ways can
you use a hat, table, stick, and so forth?”; giving a child a magazine, piece of paper,
or book and asking them to, for example, circle all the words beginning with “F” or
look out for all of the animals; finding Wally in Where’s Wally picture books; looking
at multiple perspectives or finding “hidden” images in optical illusion images or

items in find-it games; playing spot the difference and similarities-themed games;
playing sorting games like sorting all the red shapes into one basket or all the green
buttons into a jar; and asking children to think about what they would need or what
they would pack for when it is, for example, snowing or when they are baking a cake.
»» The games described above can also be enhanced by daily activities that can help
to integrate and practise lots of different executive function skills. These might
include activities such as cooking (following a recipe), baking, gardening, shopping,
choreographing a dance, following a map, going on a treasure hunt, putting together
a puzzle, building something like a bridge or a tower, playing supermarket sweep, etc.
»» Games such as hide and seek, using find-it tubes, playing treasure hunts, and using
hideaway puppets can be useful for supporting the concept of object permanence.
»» These ideas can be enhanced by apps and computer programs that are designed to
support children to strengthen their executive function skills.
»» Children should be encouraged to use and be acknowledged and praised for using/
trying to use these skills such as their concentration part or their memory muscle.
Chapter 5 contains some strategies for supporting and expanding on children’s
strengths.

Worksheet 9.1
Worry is (using metaphors)…

About the “worry/fear” (replace “worry/
fear” with your own choice of name)
»» If the “worry/fear” was a colour, it would be…
»» If the “worry/fear” was a shape, it would be…
»» If the “worry/fear” was an animal, it would be…
»» If the “worry/fear” was a flower, a tree, or something from nature, it would be…
»» If the “worry/fear” was an object/item/metaphor, it would be…
»» If the “worry/fear” could talk, it would say… (What would its voice sound like?)
»» The “worry/fear” stops me from…
»» The “worry/fear” helps me…
»» Without the “worry/fear” I would…
»» If the “worry/fear” disappeared I would miss…
»» …makes the “worry/fear” much bigger.
»» …makes the “worry/fear” smaller.
»» I am stronger and bigger than the “worry/fear” when…

activities.
For example, if a child says that their feeling of “worry/fear” is like “butterflies in their
tummy”, they might sculpt, mould, draw, collage, paint, or make “butterflies in their tummy”.
Similarly, the child might be encouraged to act using physical movement, puppets, masks,
or a sand-tray exercise to explore the “butterflies in their tummy” further.
The above questions can be used to bring the metaphor to life; for example: What are the
different butterflies’ names? What do “the butterflies” sound like? If “the butterflies” could
talk, what would they say? What makes “the butterflies” stronger and flitter more? What
would make “the butterflies” fly away? When do “the butterflies” sleep and rest?
Additionally, the metaphor can be played with according to the need. For example,
caterpillars, flying, wings, butterfly hugs, and butterfly kisses can be symbolically discussed
as being symbolic.
Photo 9.21 Butterflies in my tummy artwork

Worksheet 9.2
My nightmare ninja
What does my nightmare ninja look like?

Draw, sculpt, write, or collage your responses.
What does my nightmare ninja sound/smell like? What would my nightmare ninja say
if it had a voice? What does my nightmare ninja do?
Draw, sculpt, write, or collage your responses.

Worksheet 10.1
When I feel unsafe

Worksheet 10.2
Then, now, and in the future
Write, draw, collage, depict in sand, or sculpt your journey and the changes you have made,
and hope to make, in relation to a range of situations such as relationships and difficulties.
Then Now My future

Worksheet 10.3
Sentence-completion ideas and discussion
points for the ending experience
These responses can be collaged, drawn, acted out, sculpted, depicted in a sand tray,
etc. They are intended as ideas and need to be adapted and selected dependent on the
individual and the specific situation.
When I think about endings and goodbyes I think…
When I think about endings and goodbyes I feel…
When I think about endings and goodbyes I remember…
My wishes and hopes for this ending are…
My fears and worries for this ending are…
The highlight of this journey has been…
The things that will stay with me from this journey are…
If I could bottle up a moment or lesson it would be…
The hardest part was…
If I could go back and do things differently, I would…
A word to describe my therapy journey would be…
A sentence/song/movie/poem to describe my therapy journey would be…

I have learned…
The things that are different now are…
The changes I have made…
I know I can…
I am proud of…
I am thankful for…
I overcame…
My coping skills are…
In my treasure box of tools there is…
My safety plan is…
My go-to options are…
I will remind myself of…
I can teach others about…and how to…
My dreams and hopes for myself, others, and the world are…
My future will be…

Worksheet 10.4
Time capsule
Worksheet 10.5
Bottle up moments
and moment…


Worksheet 10.6
Magnetic thoughts, feelings, and sensations

Treasure box of lessons, moments, and memories
Worksheet 10.7

Worksheet 10.8
Wishes for myself, others, and the world
My wishes for myself are… (Draw, sculpt, or collage your responses.)
My wishes for others are… (Draw, sculpt, or collage your responses.)
My wishes for the world are… (Draw, sculpt, or collage your responses.)

Making wishes genie
Worksheet 10.9

Worksheet 10.10
Feeding and strengthening myself and
carrying on with my journey
This worksheet gives multiple options for a similar concept, as different metaphors will
resonate with different people.
What can I do to nurture and nourish myself? How can others support me with this?
What feeds, waters, strengthens, and protects me like a flower? (Draw, sculpt, collage,
or write your responses.)
What can I do to make my tower of life and self stronger and sturdier? What bricks
need to be celebrated and noticed? Which bricks need to be added? How can the
tower be looked after and maintained? What can be done if some of the bricks chip or
break off? (Draw, sculpt, collage, or write your responses, or build your life/self-tower.)

What lessons, memories, and skills am I taking with me on my journey in my invisible
jacket and invisible suitcase? (Draw, sculpt, collage, or write your responses.)
What is in or makes up my safety kit for any future storms? What is my lifeboat,
lifejacket vest, and safety ring? (Draw, sculpt, collage, or write your responses.)

Worksheet 10.11
Strengths-based approach: writing a take-back practice letter

These can be powerfully pulled together and documented in an ending letter, email, poem,
story, or card. Alternatively, these can be recorded on a video camera or phone. They can
also draw on responses and input from the Team Around the Child/Family.
Think about a young person/parent/carer/colleague/client:

»» What has gone well? What has been achieved so far? What steps have been taken?
What can they do already? (Think about their journey and the distance already
travelled.)
»» What hobbies and activities does the young person engage in, enjoy, and excel in?
What makes them sparkle/get excited/feel proud/be happy?
struck/inspired/impressed by? What are their superpowers and magic gifts?
»» If you were writing a review or recommendation about this person, what positive
things would you say to others about them?
»» If you had to give them an award for something positive, what would it be for?
»» If you were stranded on an island with them, what skills of theirs would you
appreciate?
»» If they became a different person, or life changed as you know it, what would you
miss about them?
»» If you were no longer with them/seeing them, what parts of their personality would
you miss?
»» How has knowing them made an impression on you? What have you learned from
them?
»» What will you take forward from what you have learned from them?
»» What are your wishes, hopes, and dreams for them?

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pregnancy/baby/gender? • Maternal Attachment Inventory (Muller,

milestones? • Infant–Toddler Social and Emotional

• Parental Reflective Functioning

services/professionals? service journey, map, or chronology.

What services have been involved? It can be useful to explore their

What other interventions/assessments expectations about, for example, “therapy”.

managed and responded to these?

• PTSD Semi-Structured Interview and

(including relationships with teachers)? • Wechsler Intelligence Scale for Children

What has and is going well? What positive

What adversities have they survived?

compliance with medication/going missing/

powerful messages to her. Jala also shared

“I feel happy when…”

What does my Wishing Wizard or Dreaming Dragon look like?

What does my Wishing Wizard or Dreaming Dragon sound like/smell like?

What does my Wishing Wizard or Dreaming Dragon do and help me with?

What messages do I have to give to my Wishing Wizard or Dreaming Dragon?

Sensory (auditory, olfactory, tactile/ Autobiographical

Emotional/relational/core beliefs/life Other

Draw, collage, sculpt, write, or depict in sand your responses.

If I gave the feeling of “safety” a name, I would call it…

If the feeling of “safety” was a colour, it would be…

If the feeling of “safety” was a shape, it would be…

If the feeling of “safety” was an object/item/metaphor, it would be…

Draw what feeling safe looks like/feels like to you…

Draw a specific time when you felt safe…

I like to smell I like to touch/feel

I like to hear I like to taste

I like to see Other

Things that push my buttons (triggers)

Describe my environment Go to my safe place (physical and imaginary)

Safe place cue word:

What can I see, smell, do, taste, hear?

How do I feel emotionally and physically when in

Sort… (e.g. Rubik’s cube, papers, buttons)

Listen to music/play an instrument/sing a song Do something pampering

Do my mindfulness, meditation, yoga, and/or tai Clean, organise, or tidy

Watch the movement of a lava lamp, a snow Interact with water

Squeeze using alternating hands, a stress ball, Do some physical exercise

Go for a walk/run/cycle in nature Interact with animals

Run cold water on my face Do something creative like…

Imagery and re-scripting My favourite inspirational quotes/sayings/

When a difficult memory, thought, and/or feeling

I will tell myself…

Name it to tame it (Siegel and Bryson, 2011) Positive self-talk

Things are different now because…

Speak to someone who I feel gets me

My treasure box of tools

I will cope, calm, and soothe myself by…

1. Using my sensory box

2. Listening to “Beautiful” by Christina Aguilera

3. Giving myself butterfly hugs

4. Going to my safe place: “breeze”

I will tell myself: “I am strong”, “I am not alone”, and “I am in control”

I will go to… Nathan, Lara, Karen, or Julie

I will tell myself:

Draw/sculpt/write/collage/depict in sand your responses.