Tim Lee

Dr. Peeler

BITH 315

19 April 2021

Four Loves Essay

The book The Four Loves by C.S. Lewis is a theological as well as philosophical

discussion of The Four Loves, which are defined as Affection, Friendship, Eros, and Charity. The

book presented topics that I personally have never questioned or really understood about the

nature of love. It has given me many things to think about as well as understand how I can love

God and my neighbors that reflects that of what the Gospel teaches.

The first love that Lewis talks about is called Storge or Affection. According to Lewis,

“almost anyone can become an object of affection. It ignores the barriers of sex, age, class,

education” (Lewis 55-56). There are different types of attachment that may develop between two

persons or between an individual and an object. This affection is a kind of fondness and does not

necessarily mean that those affected have a lot in common. For example, a rich man lying in a

hospital bed can form a bond of affection with his doctor or nurse. A parent will have affection

for his or her child, but this affection may not always be reciprocated. One can have affection for

one’s car, but the car cannot return the feeling, for it is an inanimate object. Jesus admonished

His followers to be “kindly affectionate one to another with brotherly love” (Romans 12:10

KJV). Here we see the springing forth of the natural love of affection from the Author of Love,

who is Jesus. He is the One who embodies love and gave the boost to show affection through

kindness and appreciation.

The next form of love addressed by Lewis is Philia or Friendship love. Of this love, he

said, “Friendship arises out of mere companionship when two or more of the companions

discover that they share some interest or insight” (Lewis 96). This means that people will
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Dr. Peeler

BITH 315

19 April 2021

gravitate towards someone with whom they can relate in terms of hobbies, interests, or any other

such mutual behavior. The relationship may be temporary or permanent; some friendships may

even last a lifetime because it is such a strong friendship love bond. However, even though the

love is strong and mutual, it may not always be equal. One friend may be more loyal and

trustworthy while the other is always dependent or needy. In my interpersonal class, we learned

that friendships may not always be equal, but it requires reciprocity. We now live in a world

where there are expanding social networks, and friendship has taken on so many different faces.

Gone are the days when friends would meet at the corner store for a chat because that was the

only means of communication. Now there are ways of saying “hi” to your friends by sending

them a message through a technology called text messaging. Many people will boast of the vast

amount of friends they have through Facebook. Furthermore, friends only have to check

Facebook pages on the computer to see a minute-by-minute play of their friend’s daily activities.

The fact remains that even though technology has changed, the human race has not lost

friendship love as they are continually seeking to have one or more friends in their life. We still

enjoy friends because it is a spiritual interest that was passed on to us by God. Jesus declared, “I

have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you”

(John 15:15 NIV).

The third love presented by Lewis was Eros. Eros is the hot, passionate, romantic love

between two people. Lewis said, “Eros makes a man want not a woman, but one particular

woman” (Lewis 135). This kind is probably the most highly-publicized love in the world.

Throughout the generations, there have been exceptional stories, songs, poems, and movies
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Dr. Peeler

BITH 315

19 April 2021

written about intense love couples. Romeo and Juliet, Samson and Delilah, David and

Bathsheba, Cleopatra and Mark Anthony, Napoleon, and Josephine. These and thousands of

other couples experienced what was probably the strongest emotional response from two people.

Eros is so intense that it arouses feelings of jealousy, passion, fury, heartache, joy, excitement,

and other such intense emotions. Among the Philia, Storge, and Eros, it would appear that Eros is

the most striking. It is so extraordinary that someone who is said to be “in love” focuses only on

the object of its love; everything else appears to be insignificant. Too often, however, society

sexualizes the Eros love that is more than just a sexual desire, for sexual desire will wane.

Additionally, Eros is tainted; erotic and other sexual activities come to mind very quickly when

we hear the word, but this great passion was not meant to be this way. It was imparted to us by

the Creator of Divine Love when He first created Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. The

Bible says, “It is not good that the man should be alone. I will make him a help meet for him”

(Genesis 2:18 KJV). Like Philia and Storge, Eros was also borne out of the first love, the mother

of all loves, which is Agape.

Agape is the final love type we read of in The Four Loves. Lewis called it Charity and

said, “Divine gift-love in a man enables him to love what is not naturally lovable – criminals,

enemies, morons, sulky, superior. God allows us to have gift-love towards Himself…we can

freely offer to give it back to Him. Such a gift love comes by Grace and should be called

Charity” (Lewis 177 -178). There is a whole chapter in the book of Corinthians dedicated to

Charity. It explains how one may have all kinds of skills and abilities, but if one does not have

love, one is empty. “Charity suffereth long and is kind, seeketh not her own is not easily
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Dr. Peeler

BITH 315

19 April 2021

provoked…thinketh no evil” (1 Cor. 1-8 KJV). Not only do we see a bit of charity in each of the

other loves, but we can also see how charity is set apart from and above its offspring. Affections

may die, friends may abandon you, and a lover may cheat on you, but the Agape love of God

will last forever. God’s love goes far and above any other type of love; He loves the sinner, but

He abhors the sin. The Bible declares, “For God so loved the world that He gave His only

begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life”(John

3:16 KJV). It is from this great and divine charity that the other loves have sprung. God shows us

the first love, and the others follow. On the other hand, some may argue that each love is equal to

the other, for they all belong to the same family of which God is the head. After all, they may say

if God’s love is so great and if He loves us so much, why must we suffer loss and heartache

through the experiences of the other loves? The answer is God does not force Himself or His

love for us. He wants us to love Him; He wants us to accept Him, but He has given us the will or

the choice to do so. It is the kind of options we sometimes make that cause us to feel pain, and

then we blame God. However, the world is so full of sin and so imperfect that we cannot avoid

pain, suffering, and heartache. Additionally, some may say that Godless parents love their

children unconditionally, so Storge love is equal to Agape love in this case. Yes, a parent may

make insurmountable sacrifices for their children regardless of their religious belief, but they do

not realize that this is because of the “great Gardener watering their garden” (Lewis 164), to

make it fruitful, God wants us to love our children that way. The Bible says, “If you, then,

though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your

Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him?”(Matt. 7:11 NIV). Skeptics may also
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Dr. Peeler

BITH 315

19 April 2021

argue that friendship love can stand on its own because friends remain friends forever. What they

fail to mention is that friends have become enemies, and people move on. Those who remain,

friends, are just getting a taste of the real love of God. Still, another may contend that Eros love

is just as strong as Agape. Besides, lovers commit suicide because they rather die together than

live apart; did Jesus not die for us out of His love for us? However, Jesus did not commit suicide;

He sacrificed His blood to save the world from their sin.

To conclude, all types of love are the offspring of the Agape love of God. He gave us

Storge because He has affection for us, “And his affection for you is all the greater when he

remembers that you were all obedient” (2 Cor. 7:15 NIV). God also gave us Philia because He is

our friend, “When Jesus saw their faith, he said, “Friend, your sins are forgiven.”(Luke 5:20

NIV). Additionally, God gave us Eros because He loves us above all else, “and walk in the way

of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to

God.”(Eph. 5:2 NIV).