Ahmed Aly Doctor - Aly1234@

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For the last years, shopping through internet has been used over large scale.

I believe that this


kind of shopping has many benefits as I will show in this essay.
Short introduction that needs supporting sentences

A good point to start with to show why online shopping is better than ordinary one is the
amount of time saved by this type of shopping. For example, I can buy a pair of shoes in less
than 15 minutes unlike regular shopping which might takes more than Four hours. That is why
many people consider online shopping is a time-saving.
Try to use any research paper, scientific finding or a statistic. Do not depend only on
examples.

A good paragraph with intro and support, but you did not write a concluding
sentence. A concluding sentence should start with “ Thus,”…. “ Hence,..” or “
Therefore,…”.

Another point to be added is that you can get all the products you are looking for from the
different websites. In other words, you might not find a specific item you want to purchase in
the local stores, but you can find it in the online stores and purchase it simply. I have a personal
experience in regards to this point where I wanted to buy a silver iphone-x, nevertheless I did
not find it in any of the shops although I searched in all the city, as a result I tried to puchase it
from a global store over the internet, and I received after three days and I was really happy to
find the silver one.
There is no consistency between the body paragraphs
A good paragraph with intro and support, but you did not write a concluding
sentence. A concluding sentence should start with “ Thus,”…. “ Hence,..” or “
Therefore,…”.

In conclusion, while many people could argue about the advantages and disadvantages of
technology like using internet in shopping, I think online shopping will come on the top of the
positives. This is because of the time it saves and the wide variety of items we can find there.

Evaluation Parameters and Descriptors


Parameter Details Yes No
Task Response Question is fully covered and the essay is relevant to the question
Opinion is provided clearly throughout the essay (if required).
Ideas Ideas are well-developed with examples and supporting details.
One central and well-developed idea in every paragraph.
Cohesion and No over/under use of connectors
Coherence The right connectors are used
Paragraphs are logically connected.
Lexical Resources There are spelling mistakes that destroy the band.
and Vocabulary There are synonyms and paraphrasing to avoid repetition of words.
All words are suitable to the context and the style is consistent.
Correct use of collocations
Less common vocabulary and advanced words are used.
Correct word formation is used (example: adjective is used correctly)
Grammatical Variety Complex sentences are used Not
enough
Compound sentences are used Not
enough
Passive structure is used
Complex-compound sentences are used.
Simple sentences are used.
There is a variety of tenses
Grammatical There is a good control of punctuation marks.
Accuracy Subject Verb Agreement Mistake.
Tense Shift Mistake.
Passive Voice Mistake.
Article Mistake.
Inaccurate use of adjectives/nouns/adverbs.
Pronoun Reference Mistake.
Preposition Mistake.
Misuse of countable and uncountable.
There are run-on sentences.
Capitalization mistake
Vague and Arabic-influenced sentence structured are traced.
There are other grammatical mistakes
Word Limit There are more than 250 words in the writing task. 260
Number of words does not affect the element of time management.
Overall Feedback,
Comments and
Suggestions.
Band Range
Helpful Links: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJ2OmbpYbTPH1tj1FAIOFhg?view_as=subscriber
https://www.ieltsbuddy.com
https://www.ielts-exam.net/IELTS-Writing-Samples/ielts-writing.htm
https://www.ielts-exam.net/ielts-speaking/ielts-speaking-part-one.html

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