LAW OF ATTRACTION

UNIVERSAL LAWS SERIES

BOOK 1

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RAEESAH AMBARKER

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 CONTENTS

Playlist

1. Nyx
2. Beckham
3. Nyx
4. Beckham
5. Nyx
6. Beckham
7. Nyx
8. Beckham
9. Nyx
10. Beckham
11. Nyx
12. Beckham
13. Nyx
14. Beckham
15. Nyx
16. Beckham
17. Nyx
18. Beckham
19. Nyx
20. Beckham
21. Nyx
22. Beckham
23. Nyx
24. Beckham
25. Nyx
26. Beckham
27. Nyx
28. Beckham
29. Nyx
30. Beckham
31. Nyx
32. Beckham
33. Nyx
34. Beckham
Epilogue
Author’s Note
Acknowledgments
About the Author

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Copyright © 2022 Raeesah Ambarker
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored or
transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying,
recording, scanning, or otherwise without written permission from the
publisher. It is illegal to copy this book, post it to a website, or distribute it by
any other means without permission.

This novel is entirely a work of fiction. The names, characters and incidents
portrayed in it are the work of the author's imagination. Any resemblance to
actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is entirely coincidental.

Book cover and formatting design: Books and Moods

ISBN: 978-0-620-98539-0

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 To my readers. I love you endlessly.
And to Ammaarah, my fellow villain and best friend.

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 PLAYLIST

Maneater – Nelly Furtado

Barbie Tingz – Nicki Minaj
Bad Blood – Taylor Swift
Maniac – Conan Gray
God is a Woman – Ariana Grande
Cruel Summer – Taylor Swift
Daddy Issues – The Neighbourhood
Running Up That Hill – Kate Bush
Do I Wanna Know – Arctic Monkeys
Teeth – 5 Seconds of Summer
Can’t Pretend – Tom Odell
I Wanna Be Yours – Arctic Monkeys
Sweater Weather – The Neighbourhood
Swim – Chase Atlantic
Die For You – The Weeknd
Say You Won’t Let Go – James Arthur

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W omen just had to do everything, didn’t they?
Looked down upon until their help was needed,
ignored until they were of service to men;
situations like these were typical in almost every workplace
or school environment. Men who believed themselves
smarter would scorn the advice of women, and take the
reins until they eventually tumbled off and needed help
with getting back up. They considered us the gentler sex,
but men’s egos were the most fragile things I’d ever come
across. All I did was offer help. And did he accept? Big no.
Did he need my help now?
Big yes.
My heeled boots clicked against the floor of the foyer as
I shoved through the doors leading to the indoor ice rink. A
gust of frigid air hit me and I bound my jacket tighter
around myself, passing the ice and heading towards the
long hallway. The door at the end was my destination and I
mentally readied myself. One interaction with him had
already taken a hit to my confidence. But I was back now
and ready to throw his words back in his stupid face. After
a few deep breaths, I knocked, entering once I heard the
serious voice.
Coach Stanley Benson was new to USC, having been
hired hastily when the previous coach was forced to quit
after his wife had fallen ill. It was a major kick in the gut,
especially to the team that was left deserted. I’d felt bad at
first because it was what the students deemed
championship season, although it was an all-year-round
thing. It was something we all looked forward to. An all-
sports college competition where the University of
Southern California competed against the University of
California, Los Angeles for the Southern California
Crosstown Cup.
But I no longer felt bad. All I felt was rage at the man in
front of me, a man who had walked into his new office with
the confidence of a god—and told me no because I was a
girl.
“You asked to see me,” I mused, refusing to take a seat
when he gestured towards one. Coach Benson was a tall
man, and I wasn’t an idiot. My height was five feet and four
inches on a good day; when I wasn’t slumping in
exhaustion. If I were to sit down, Benson would have the
upper hand with his long abdomen in his seated position.
My tone was clipped, accentuating that I didn’t have
time to waste. There were better things to do on a Friday
afternoon than stand and listen to someone speak down to
you, a man especially. I’d just finished attending my
sociology of sports class when a freshman informed me that
Coach Benson wanted a meeting. Well, Benson could choke
on his toes for all I cared. But the curious part of me
wouldn’t let it go.
How lovely it was to watch them crawl back.
The last time we’d spoken, he embarrassed me in front
of his new team, the USC Trojans. I had offered to aid him,
seeing as he was in an unfamiliar environment, dealing
with skaters he’d never met before, skaters whom I
observed for the past year because I attended every game.
I had the marketing and sports event management skills
that were needed throughout the duration of the Crosstown
Cup. I could’ve helped him slip into his new role as the
coach. But he'd taken my offer as an insult. Men.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I loved men. I had a vagina,
and when I needed some pleasure, I wanted things inside
my vagina. What I wanted inside my vagina was a penis.
And damn, the penises were great. Hideous, but great.
However, once those pants were pulled up, belts buckled
up and their mouths opened in preparation for a
conversation—I realised why men annoyed me so much.
Because they thought I needed to be handled.
It seemed that every man wanted a confident woman,
but I’d come to realise it was all just for show. They wanted
a strong woman for the image, for bragging rights, but
behind closed doors; they wanted submission in every
aspect of the relationship. It was a no from me, honey.
Benson stared at me, gaze narrowing at my refusal to
sit. I smiled innocently and his eye twitched. There were
bags under his eyes and his skin was slightly wrinkly.
“Miss Taylor,” he began in a throaty voice, linking his
fingers in front of him and cracking them. “I wanted to
discuss what happened last week.”
I raised a brow. “Oh, you mean when you humiliated me
in front of the entire team?” His jaw clenched. “Don’t
worry, I didn’t cry and file a complaint, Coach. Your job is
safe.” My smirk told him all that he needed to know; that I
didn’t think he was qualified. Uncrossing my arms, I sent
him a sarcastic smile. “If that’s all, I’ll be on my way—”
“Miss Taylor!” Benson called and I halted, hand placed
on the door handle, but I didn’t turn around. The silence
ticked by. “The team and I had a discussion,” he cleared his
throat as if he was embarrassed, “about your offer to help.”
Tossing him a grin over my shoulder I inquired, “a
discussion? About me? How absolutely flattering.” An angry
grunt left him, but I merely smiled, turning around fully. My
eyes scanned him from head to toe. “If you don’t mind me
asking, Coach, what exactly happened to me being an
insufferable walking encyclopaedia and placing myself in
situations where I wasn’t needed?”
I found it hilarious, the way his eye was jerking. The
man looked seconds away from convulsing in irritation. He
muttered something to himself and I noticed that the vein
in his forehead looked mighty fine. Just a few more taunting
words from me and it’d pop in the same way he’d claimed
to pop my bubble of blissful ignorance, declaring that I
assumed everyone needed my help and ignored the fact
that they didn’t want me there.
Oh please. If I had any talent, it would’ve been the
ability to smell the pungent scent of desperation. It was an
odour I was well acquainted with, having been drenched in
it for as long as I could remember.
Desperate to do good things. Desperate to do better for
those that needed me. Desperate to make people proud.
Desperate. But why have it as a weakness when I could
turn it into an advantage? I could sniff out those that stank
of desperation as much as I did.
Benson placed his hands on his desk, still glaring at me.
Unfortunately, he overlooked my jabs. Pooh. I was hoping
he’d flip the table in fury and give me something to laugh
at.
“It appears that I was wrong about you, Miss Taylor.”
“People usually are,” I informed him smoothly. “It’s a
pity I don’t exactly care for others’ opinions of me, though.”
I blinked innocently, speaking nothing but the truth. With
my previous reputation around campus, it was imperative
to have a thick skin. Benson mumbled something again and
I nearly choked on my snort when I realised it was a prayer.
I squelched the desire to ask him why he prayed to a
god when he already considered himself one, and instead
surveyed the office. “Love what you’ve done with the
place.” Noting his barren desk, I added, “Of course, back
when Coach Ford was still here, the office was more alive.
But then again, he was qualified, after all.”
Coach Ford had known his team like the back of his
hand. His desk was always filled with plans. The man was
like a hawk at games, studying past matches to prepare for
the next. Every week, he’d assess each team member based
on his new knowledge and make a list of their strengths
and weaknesses, looking for points of change. Individual
skill development had been a favourite of his. After that, he
would work on line combinations, trying to figure out who
worked best together. There’d also always been an event
that he was hosting to boost morale and raise funds.
Judging by Benson’s empty desk, he clearly hadn’t
gotten anywhere in the week that he’d been at the
university. Poor guy. He didn’t have a degree in sports
management—which was preferred—just experience with
coaching a children’s ice hockey team. Dean Waverly had
chosen him because he was the best out of the lacklustre
bunch that had applied for the position on such short
notice. Everybody else had no degree and zero experience.
Benson pushed to his feet, face scrunching in irritation.
It appeared that his fuse was running short. How lovely.
“Question my qualifications once again, Miss Taylor, and I’ll
report you to the dean.” He was fuming now, face red and
eyebrows furrowed. “I’m fully capable of leading this team
to victory—”
“Then why am I here?” I intercepted, lips curving into an
elegant smile and fluttering my mascara-coated eyelashes
innocently. Benson closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath,
holding it for a few seconds before releasing it. “Thank you
for that two-second breathing class, truly, I appreciate it.” I
heaved in a breath and sighed, mocking him. “But I have to
get going. Places to be, people to taunt.”
Without giving him a chance to reply, I swung open the
door and left the office, grinning to myself when I heard
him hurrying after me. The man was desperate indeed.
“You’ll be paid!” he exclaimed.
I paused my walking. “I’m listening.”
He sighed. “Dean Waverly suggested it.” That he’d
spoken to the dean about me proved how desperately he
needed help. His next words sounded pained and I stifled a
smile. “You’re studying the required courses, have
experience with the team and your GPA is one of the
highest. Think of it as a paid internship.”
I was their only other option and that was why I’d
offered help in the first place—without needing to be paid.
But I wasn’t going to say no to money. He brought it up, not
me. All the other students studying for my degree,
especially the older ones, couldn’t help because they were
unfamiliar with the team or just weren’t interested in
hockey or giving up what little free time they had. The
team needed somebody with a specific skill set. Benson had
the coaching experience down, but nothing else.
Turning on my heel, I grinned. “Well, you should’ve said
that in the first place and I would’ve even given you a spit
handshake. The word internship sealed the deal for me, one
quirk of being a successful woman. We live to thrive.” He
glowered at me and I laughed. “Only joking,” grinning
wider, I continued, “Not about being a successful woman.
About the spit handshake. That’s disgusting.”
“You start on Monday,” he grumbled, eye twitching
again. “I’ll email you the papers.”
Saluting him, I turned again and was on my way,
rounding the corner just as he yelled a string of curses.
Once I made it outside, I burst into laughter, pressing a
hand to my abdomen as I wheezed. Men were just so easy
to aggravate. After my laughing fit, I pulled my phone out
of my jeans pocket and dialled the familiar number, smiling
the entire time.
She picked up on the first ring, as she always did. It was
an unspoken thing of hers. “911, what’s your emergency?”
 I snorted, leaning against the wall as I watched the
passing cars. “I’m afraid I set fire to another man’s ego.”
“Hold while I transfer the call.” Silence for a few
seconds, and my grin grew. “Fire Department. You light
‘em, we fight ‘em! How can I be of assistance?”
Laughing again, I told her, “just come pick me up.” She
cackled evilly. “I’m at the campus ice rink. I’m already late
for my shift at the grocery store because I had to deal with
Coach Pissy.” The man tended to bring out my murderous
side.
“I’m literally down the street, gimme a few seconds.”
And then she hung up. She was probably at the football
field, taking pictures with that camera she always carried
around.
Not even a few seconds later, a sleek white Audi pulled
up, a blaring siren on the roof as Nailea leaned out the
window yelling, “It’s the fire department!” Students stared
as they passed and I slapped a hand over my mouth as I
laughed. I didn’t even want to know where she’d gotten the
siren from. “Get in, loser, we’re going to save a cat from a
tree.”
Nailea Rubio was the most carefree person I’d ever met.
She was also probably the most gorgeous woman I’d ever
laid eyes on. And I wasn’t even exaggerating. She looked
like something you’d cook up in a lab. Her hazel eyes were
big—the kind you’d see on an animated princess—and she
had a head full of wild black curls that looked flawless
every day of the fucking week. There were many times
when people would stop to stare at her, a literal angel on
earth. And she made me feel way better about my height,
seeing as she was barely over five feet tall. If I could tower
over anybody, it was her.
We weren’t best friends, at least I didn’t think so? It was
weird to talk about because I’d never really had friends
before Nailea. But she sat next to me during our shared
journalism class and last year; she’d taken a leap and
started a conversation with me. She had her group of
everchanging friends and no matter how many times she
would offer, I’d politely refuse to join them. But she was
around when I needed her, and vice versa. Our situation
was comfortable, and I wasn’t complaining.
I sauntered towards her, laughing at the annoyance on
people’s faces when Nailea refused to turn the siren off. As
I opened the passenger door, a black jeep pulled up next to
us. My laughter faded and my lips pulled into a confident
smirk as I met the gaze of the driver; Beckham Hunt,
captain of the USC ice hockey team.
His eyes were tempestuous as he glared at me, parking
the car. He never hid the fact that he hated me and I found
it utterly amusing. Whilst he was brooding over my
presence, I was laughing to myself. It had taken me a good
while to find amusement in the situation between us, to
bury the hurt instead of allowing it to dictate my every
action. Unlike him.
In the passenger seat sat one of his teammates and
housemates, Sebastian Hayes. The latter merely stared at
me. They often referred to him as the angel on the team
because of his physical appearance, nearly white blonde
hair and glass-coloured eyes. But that was the furthest
from the truth. As a left-winger, he played offence and I’d
lost count of the number of times he slammed opponents
into the plexiglass, just for the fun of it.
Beckham turned off the car and slid out, muscular and
tattooed arms on display in his white shirt. If he didn’t hate
my guts, I would’ve enjoyed admiring him. Broad
shoulders, strong nose, sharp jaw, thick eyebrows and long
lashes framing turbulent grey eyes. The guy was
perfection. And I hated it. No matter how good he looked,
he was ugly because of his treatment of me.
Okay, maybe not completely ugly. I mean, I had eyes.
Sebastian followed, eying the two of us in suspense. The
blonde was a tower of toned muscle, and based on what I
remembered from the team’s online profiles, he stood at a
whopping height of six feet and five inches—four inches
taller than the man who stood next to him. Said man was
still glaring at me.
I tended to avoid Beckham and vice versa. But the times
we did run into each other were filled with uncomfortable
tension. Nobody knew what to expect. Sometimes insults
were thrown around, and other times it was heated glares
fired from across rooms.
Nailea finally turned off the siren and smiled at them.
“Look, Nyxie, it’s the ice princesses.”
Sebastian scowled at her but didn’t respond. His eyes
took a second to focus after being hit by her dazzling smile;
a regular occurrence whenever the two of us were out in
public. I wasn’t joking when I’d said the girl was gorgeous.
Her beauty was a fortress that came in handy sometimes.
Needed to go unnoticed? Stand beside Nailea Rubio and
people wouldn’t spare you a glance. I loved it. Who would
try and throw disgusting rumours in my face when I had an
angel standing next to me?
Answer: nobody.
Sebastian nudged Beckham’s arm; the latter boring a
hole into my head with his rough gaze. I raised a
questioning brow before grinning at him, and his lips
tipped into a menacing scowl. I nearly laughed.
“What are you doing here?” Sebastian challenged rudely
as I slipped into the car, shutting the door and rolling down
the window. “I thought Coach clarified he didn’t want your
help.”
They both smirked at that, probably reliving the
humiliating moment for me. I placed a finger on my chin.
“Did he now?” Nailea snickered at the annoyed look that
crossed both men’s features. “How absolutely lovely.”
With a wink, I grinned as Nailea stepped on the gas
pedal, leaving them behind us. Both of us stuck a hand out
of the window, our middle fingers waving at the men we’d
just left behind.
Once we were off-campus, Nailea rolled the windows
back up. She glanced at me, the smile still present in her
eyes. “How’d the meeting go?” Her words were coated with
a soft layer of an accent she could never shake, no matter
how long she’d lived in California.
I held back a laugh. “He practically begged me to help.”
She honked the horn as somebody ran across the street.
“Damn, I love it when men beg.”
Nodding, I said, “It’s basically a paid internship. Dean
Waverly suggested it, and I’m assuming it’s because
Benson’s so desperate.”
Nailea looked bewildered. “Of course he’s desperate.
The team lost in their division last year and that’s when
they still had Ford. Benson will be under more pressure to
succeed.” Realisation suddenly hit her. “Did you just say
paid internship?”
The sides of my mouth pulled into a satisfied grin.
“Imagine being paid for putting skills you learn at school to
use.”
My course involved classes such as public relations and
marketing, sports marketing and sports event
management. Benson would need those skills for the
duration of the Crosstown Cup, and seeing as he didn’t
have them, he needed me. The money was an added
benefit, like compensation for the initial humiliation Benson
had inflicted upon me. I knew he didn’t want my help,
which only made it all the more satisfying. I couldn’t wait
to see the look on the team’s faces when I showed up at
practice. By the smirk that Nailea was wearing, I knew she
was thinking the same thing.

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“S he’s a fucking sociopath,” I grumbled, taking a seat
in the booth at Daisy’s Delicacies. I’d been visiting
the place since I was a kid. Despite my parents
living in Glendale, they still made the daily trip to their
favourite café, their love for it being passed down to me.
The familiar place provided me with the comfort I needed.
Practice had sucked ass. Benson was failing to adjust to his
new role and it was affecting the entire team. Even as the
captain, there was nothing I could do until Benson got his
fucking shit together.
Coach Ford had always kept all of his plans in his head.
He’d memorised them and left no physical copies for
Benson to follow from. Marietta Ford falling sick was
something we hadn’t expected. Ford had planned to work
for USC for as long as possible, but the abrupt illness of his
wife forced him to take a step back.
And now Benson was stuck, left behind with nothing to
work from. The man refused to contact Ford, hellbent on
doing this his way. We couldn’t even argue against him
because he was the coach and he called the shots. Now, he
had to get to know the team and our skills from scratch. I
didn’t even want to think about how long that would take.
Dean Waverly would probably have to contact the UCLA
hockey team to ask for the matches to be pushed even
further into the year. Our first match was supposed to have
taken place in November. It was January already—an entire
new fucking quarter. The rivalry was so strong that the
Bruins would never let us Trojans live down the humiliation
of not being prepared.
How fucking embarrassing.
Sebastian let out a groan of pain as he sank into his seat
and I smiled. He’d gotten bulldozed at practice by Tristan,
the left-winger in our fourth line. Flattening Sebastian like
a pancake against the plexiglass had recently become an
unspoken and playful goal during each practice. It was like
an accomplishment of sorts. Sebastian wasn’t a bulky type
of muscular, but he was still a giant and my teammates
enjoyed trying to take him down.
“A hot sociopath,” Grayson mused, shoving Sebastian
over so that he could take a seat as well. The blonde swore
when Grayson hit his bruised shoulder.
Leaning back in my seat, I crossed my arms and scanned
the café. I spotted a tiny girl in the centre, a broomstick in
hand as she hit a book around. The sight made my lips tilt
slightly. It reminded me of simpler times when my dad
would take me with him to work and I’d spend the entire
time hitting a puck around his workplace.
Granted, I’d gotten in trouble a lot because my dad had
been a regular police officer back then, working in a small
cubicle where I had to squash next to him on a little stool
or even sit under the desk with my building blocks. He
hadn’t had any control over the station so the Lieutenant
went off on me on quite a few occasions, specifically when
a teenager getting arrested for petty theft had received a
puck to the eye when he was brought in for questioning.
My dad had found it funny.
Lieutenant Windsor hadn’t.
 “A sociopath, nonetheless,” I retorted, falling back into
the conversation.
“So you agree she’s hot,” Sebastian expressed through
another groan. He knew exactly what I thought of her. My
entire team did. She was a minx who cared about nobody
but herself.
When I refused to speak, Grayson smirked and spoke
again. “Honestly, I think Benson has a point. She could help
us.”
Fucking hell. We’d been over it before. The entire team
had been over it and Grayson still didn’t see the problem
with having Nyx help our team. I refrained from asking him
if he remembered what had happened last year, how we all
had suffered at the manipulative hands of Nate.
I rolled my eyes, passing Grayson a menu before trying
to turn the conversation towards Benson and not Nyx. “Are
we talking about the same coach that suggested I remove
Oliver and Jasper from our first line of defence because
they don’t complement each other’s skills?” I scoffed. “As if
he knows what he’s talking about.”
Grayson flagged over a server, placing our orders, and
Sebastian ogled the girl as she sauntered away. I kicked his
knee from under the table and he let out a yelp.
“Fuck,” he swore, scowling at me. “Fine, fine. Serious
talk, I get it.”
“Let’s just see what happens,” Grayson proposed,
snickering when Sebastian rubbed his tender knee. “Give
her a chance. Be honest, we’re desperate for help right
now.”
I couldn’t disagree with that. With Coach Ford gone,
Benson was the only one who met some of the
requirements for the position. Dean Waverly couldn’t find
anybody better on such brief notice, not when the annual
competition between USC and UCLA had already started.
We had a few months ahead and it looked as if Benson
would only make it worse.
 A loud yell grabbed our attention and we looked to see
the manager of the place, Donovan, admonishing the little
girl. Donovan’s mom, Daisy, had owned the cafe, but after
her passing, she’d left it to him. I missed the old woman,
even more so because her son was an asshole. Case in
point, him screaming at the little girl. He snatched the
broom from her and picked up the book before storming
off.
Grayson watched him leave before speaking, “She must
be the daughter of one of the staff members.”
The girl was small, with brown hair in two pigtails,
looking no older than six. She watched the ground where
the book once was, lips pulling into an annoyed frown. If I
was being honest, she looked seconds away from following
Donovan and ripping him a new one. I thought back to
Lieutenant Windsor screaming at me for getting in the way.
“Serves her right,” Sebastian scoffed, breaking me from
my thoughts. “You can’t play hockey in the middle of a cafe.
I’ve been watching her this whole time. Do you know how
many people she nearly tripped with her hitting that damn
book around?”
Grayson turned to him, green eyes narrowed. “She’s a
fucking kid.”
“And I hate kids.” Sebastian shrugged as if it was the
simplest thing in the world. “God alone knows how I
managed to put up with River.”
Grayson’s smile wavered at the mention of the youngest
Hayes. “There’s a literal three-year age gap between you
two,” he told the blonde in a dead tone.
Sebastian tutted seriously. “Three years old. Too young
to become the parent of a kid you didn’t ask for.” Two
seconds later, Grayson was muttering furiously to
Sebastian about how that made no sense at all considering
the Hayes duo had both parents to raise them for many
years.
 Overlooking Sebastian as he began to argue back, I
called out to the little girl, “Hey, kid!” Her head bobbed up
and she peeked around, trying to pinpoint the origin of my
voice. When her eyes settled on me and the two bickering
men, she raised a brow in challenge but didn’t move. I
remembered kids were taught to never talk to strangers.
“You like ice hockey?”
Sebastian frowned, looking between me and the girl.
“I’m getting major do you want some candy vibes.” Grayson
chortled but was cut off as the girl moved closer. “I can’t
believe she’s falling for this,” the blonde muttered when
the girl stopped at our table. “Didn’t your parents teach
you never to talk to strangers?”
She crossed her short arms over her chest, glaring right
back at him and I suppressed a chuckle. “If you tell me
your name, you won’t be a stranger.” Grayson smirked.
“I’m Indigo.”
“Sebastian,” he returned, something akin to respect in
his eyes.
“Beckham,” I told her and she nodded as Grayson
introduced himself. Her big brown eyes were still moist
with her earlier anger and I remembered why I’d called her
over in the first place. “So, you like hockey?”
Indigo nodded, taking the seat next to me and folding
her arms on the table. Grayson grinned at her. “You know,
we play hockey.”
“I know,” she responded smoothly, lips tipping into a
smile and amusement dancing in her eyes. “I’ve been to
your games before.” My surprise must’ve been clear
because she giggled, the sound nearly drowned out by the
chitchat in the cafe. She pointed at Sebastian. “Hayes. You
have little angel wings painted on the sides of your
helmet.”
Sebastian stared at her, mouth parting at her words.
Many people called him the angel because of his angelic
appearance and, as a joke, a few of us had stolen his
helmet and painted wings on it. Sebastian wasn’t too happy
about it, but every time he’d replaced his helmet, we
painted new wings. He’d given up trying.
“Carter,” she said with a smile, pointing at Grayson next.
“You’re the goalie. I’ve seen your uniform, it’s hilarious.”
I chuckled and so did the man in question. A
goaltender’s uniform was basically the same as a fort.
Wearing it, Grayson was unrecognisable. He was hidden
behind a neck shield, chest and arm protectors, and
gigantic knee pads. And his helmet was more protective
than everyone else’s, considering he stopped shots with his
body.
Finally, Indigo twisted to face me, tucking her short legs
underneath her. “Hunt. You’re the new captain this year.” I
nodded, my respect for her growing. She hmphed. “You’re
also an asshole.” My brows nearly disappeared into my
hairline and I felt more than heard Grayson choke.
“What?” I asked, probably looking like an idiot, having a
little girl cuss me out.
Indigo crossed her arms, nose scrunching in derision
before questioning in a breezy tone, “Spread any other
rumours lately?”
My mouth opened and closed, no words escaping. It was
probably because I couldn’t form any. I’d never seen this
girl in my life and she was speaking as if she knew me.
Grayson was laughing into his hand and Sebastian was
staring at Indigo with narrowed eyes. The gears turning in
his head were almost visible.
Rushed footsteps met my ears and I raised my gaze to
see a woman hastening over. She was dressed in the red
server dress with a white apron around her waist. Her
brown eyes were trained on Indigo and I wondered if it was
her mother, although she appeared a little too young to
have a kid. But hey, who was I to judge? They looked alike.
The woman was unfamiliar, which told me she was new.
 “I’m so sorry,” the woman surprised us by apologising as
she reached for the little girl, pulling her to her side. “She’s
not supposed to bother the customers—”
“Annie, look who it is!” Indigo exclaimed, moving out of
the woman’s hold to point at us. Judging by her expression,
Annie had no idea who we were. I couldn’t blame her. We
were a college ice hockey team, not a team in the NHL.
My brows furrowed when I realised Indigo addressed
the woman by her first name. “I’m sorry she bothered you,
I’ll just take her—”
Indigo pouted. “I wasn’t bothering them! He called me
over.” Her eyes found mine. “If anything, he was bothering
me.”
Sebastian interjected, “How old are you?”
She scoffed, “Old enough to know that boys aren’t
supposed to hurt girls who try to help them. They shouldn’t
hurt girls. Period.”
Her angry words were directed at me. Annie watched
the exchange, taking a moment to glance at me and my two
best friends. She seemed to be coming to some sort of
realisation and her nose scrunched in bewilderment.
Donovan appeared from behind the counter, yelling,
“Annie! Back to work while you still have work!” The threat
in his voice was clear and it caused Annie to visibly panic.
The woman was obviously new to her job and he was
already being a miserable asshole.
Annie’s eyes darted between Indigo and her manager. I
sent her an encouraging smile. “Go, we’ll watch her for
you.” Her expression was pained, probably unwilling to
trust strangers. Or maybe it was just us she was unwilling
to trust. There was a familiarity in the way she stared at us.
“We’ll stay until your shift is over.”
Sebastian scowled at my words and I knew it was
because we’d planned to see a movie later. But that could
wait.
 “I’m so sorry, truly. It’s my first day and Indigo was
supposed to be picked up an hour ago and my shift doesn’t
end in another two,” Annie choked out, face turning red.
Grayson sent her a friendly smile, promising her we didn’t
mind. Ever the gentleman.
Indigo took that as her opportunity to speak. “I’ll be fine.
What are they gonna do to me?” Her eyes found mine
again. “Are you gonna hurt my feelings?” A mocking pout
was on her little lips. “I heard you’re good at that.”
Annie gasped. “Indie!”
“What?” Indigo shot back, shrugging innocently. “I’m
just telling it how it is. Boys suck.” Her final word was
emphasised with an exaggerated eye-roll in my direction.
Annie flushed in embarrassment with every word that
fell from Indigo’s mouth, and she then told me, “I’m sorry
—”
“She’s alright,” I told her, not minding Indigo’s presence
at all. In fact, I wanted to know how she knew me. If I had
to take a few insults to find out, I’d be fine.
As Annie hesitantly walked away, Sebastian groaned. “Of
course we mind! What happened to our movie?”
Indigo smiled. “My favourite movie is Shrek. You remind
me of that stupid prince.” Whether she was talking about
Prince Charming or Lord Farquaad, I didn’t know. And I
didn’t want to know. The riddle of her words made it all the
more insulting and I had a feeling she knew that.
Grayson let out a bark of laughter. “I like her. She’s
funny.”
“I’m funnier with a knife in my hand,” Indigo told him
seriously and he laughed even harder. With a dramatic
sigh, she glanced at me. “It’s part of a joke I call hurting
boys who deserve it.”
I merely offered her a smile and she scowled at my lack
of frustration. A server brought over our order. She placed
a burger and fries in front of me, alongside a vanilla
milkshake. Grayson had ordered two burgers because he
was starving, but he placed the other one on a napkin and
pushed it towards Indigo.
“Thank you,” she said softly and I grinned, splitting my
fries and handing her some, even though she tossed a
suspicious look my way. I watched her take a bite of the
burger. “This is actually really good,” she spoke around a
mouthful, forgetting that she was my rival or something.
Sebastian popped some fries into his mouth. “You’ve
never had a burger here before?” Indigo shook her head,
and my brows furrowed. “But your,” he hesitated, trying to
think of her link to Annie, “sister?” Indigo nodded, biting
more of the burger. “She works here.”
After she gulped the portion in her mouth, she
answered, “It’s her first day. Besides, only employees get
free food. And only once a day.” Sebastian opened his
mouth to ask why Annie didn’t just buy food, but I shut him
up with a glare.
We ate quickly, the air filled with chatter as Grayson
spoke to Indigo about anything and everything. They poked
fun at Sebastian’s bruised body when Grayson shoved him
and he wailed in pain.
“Hurt him again!” Indigo yelled, cackling when Grayson
pressed onto Sebastian’s aching shoulder once more. I
snorted, about to take a sip of my milkshake but found two
fries floating in the creamy liquid. Without even having to
look, I knew Indigo was smirking at me. “Revenge is best
served cold,” she muttered, pursing her lips.
I quirked a brow. “Revenge?” I waited for an explanation
as to why she didn’t like me, but I received none.
Once we were finished eating, someone came to collect
our things and I paid the bill. It was only when Indigo
spoke that I noticed the server hadn’t left. “Ya need a tip,
Beth?” The tiny girl asked the server.
The name rang a bell and I glanced up, noticing the
familiar dark eyes. But her eyes weren’t trained on me.
Beth was looking at Indigo.
 “You,” she said in a growl, hinting that the two had a
history. Seeing as it was Annie’s first day on the job, I
figured that Indigo had made another enemy in the period
of a few hours.
“Bethany, hey,” I greeted her, successfully dragging her
attention away from the smirking girl who was no doubt
attempting to trigger her anger. “It’s been a while.”
Sebastian grimaced at my words, knowing that I’d been
avoiding the brunette on purpose after the two dates we’d
been on. Dating wasn’t on my list of priorities, but I’d
known Beth since we were kids and when she asked me out
a few weeks ago, I couldn’t find it in myself to say no,
especially since her mom was berating her for not being in
a serious relationship yet.
Despite it being the 21 st century, Vivian Braswell still
believed that a woman’s only goal in life was to get married
young and start a family. At twenty-one, Beth was
practically a spinster in her mom’s eyes. I appeared to be
the lucky candidate for a son-in-law and husband. Having
just turned twenty-one myself, I wasn’t looking to get
married anytime soon.
Beth sent an uneasy stare Sebastian’s way, fidgeting
with the bill in her hands as she said, “I’ve been calling
you. My family’s planning a brunch this weekend and I was
wondering if—”
“I meant to call,” I cut her off, feeling guilty when she
offered me a genuine smile. She was a sweet girl, one of
the nicest people I knew. Her personality just didn’t click
with mine, in a romantic sense. “With the Crosstown Cup
drama, I’ve been swamped.”
The look in her eyes was sympathetic and the guilt
churned in my stomach. “Aw, I’m sure you guys will do
great. There’ll always be a few tables available here for the
team if you have a rough day.”
 I couldn’t speak around the block in my throat and I was
thankful Grayson did. “You work here now?”
He’d taken the words right out of my mouth. If I’d
known Beth was working at the café, I wouldn’t have
returned until I figured out how to let her down gently. Two
dates and it seemed like her mom was trying to plan our
immediate wedding. Beth wasn’t even attached to me in
that sense. Everything she did was to please her mom.
Beth nodded, tucking a thick braid behind her elfish ear.
“Too much free time. But hey, at least I get to see you, you
know?”
I wondered if my team would be pissed if I changed our
hangout spot for the next few weeks.
Indigo rolled her eyes. “Pack it up, Macbeth.” Grayson
choked on a laugh and Sebastian was fighting a smile.
“You’re a menace,” Beth retorted, placing a hand on her
hip as she glared at Indigo.
“And you reek of desperation,” Indigo replied a second
later, scrunching her little nose and perfecting a look of
pure distaste that I’d only ever seen on one person before.
“The guy’s clearly not interested, sweetheart.”
There was no way she was six years old, no fucking way.
Beth didn’t miss a beat, looking ready to stomp her foot.
“Somebody should tell your mom to get you a babysitter,
brat.”
Indigo faltered for a second and then said, “And
somebody should tell your mom to take you to therapy. ” I
watched the two carefully. It was weird seeing a grown
woman arguing with a child. Eventually, Beth turned on her
heel, silently fuming.
Grayson nudged Indigo. “Seems like you’ve got another
enemy.”
She scoffed. “Macbeth’s been complaining to Donovan
since I first arrived. Apparently, I get in her way.” She then
looked at me. “She’s probably gonna try and talk to you
after her shift. Five bucks and I’ll get rid of her for you.”
 My eyebrow quirked. “And by getting rid of her, you
don’t mean murder, right?” The twinkle in her eyes was
scary.
Indigo burst into childlike laughter, looking nothing like
the menacing girl she was a second ago. Her giggles got
louder and louder as she burst out, “Of course not!” She
wiped at the corners of her eyes, going suddenly serious. “I
would’ve charged more than five bucks, dumbass.”
Sebastian couldn’t hold his laugh in this time and I
allowed a small smile, one she didn’t return. She must’ve
remembered she was my enemy because she ignored me
after that. Grayson merely laughed at my annoyance.
Indigo moved to the other side of the booth when
Grayson made space for her and he handed her his phone,
telling her she could download any game she wanted to.
She ended up downloading a dress-up game and the two of
them took turns to see whose outfit got scored the highest
by the judges. I didn’t get a chance to question Indigo and I
knew Grayson was keeping her occupied on purpose.
Sebastian was people-watching, as he usually did. He
didn’t like company that much, but he enjoyed watching
others and noticed small things; things that people usually
overlooked. It was what made him a great asset to the
team. He could pick up an opponent’s weakness in a matter
of seconds and discover their next move just by watching
how they interacted with their team members.
I honestly thought we’d have a shot this year against the
UCLA Bruins. Annually, our schools hosted the Crosstown
Cup. Points were awarded within the 19 NCAA— National
Collegiate Athletic Association—sanctioned sports that our
schools competed in. Each sport was worth ten points
which meant there were 190 total points available to win.
At least 100 was needed to claim the overall win.
Last year, our school won the Crosstown Cup because
we’d had more points than UCLA altogether. But that was
all because of the other sports divisions and their wins. Our
hockey team had lost against the Bruins. Although our
school had still won, it irked me that our team failed in our
division.
At that point, it wasn’t my team. Nate had been the
captain. And he’d been a shit one. How somebody could
make me hate a sport I loved, I had no fucking idea. And I
wasn’t the only one either. When it was certain Nate was
going to be captain again this year, I’d known I had to do
something. He’d left the team altogether and the school,
and I wasn’t complaining.
With him gone, this was supposed to be our year. But
then Ford had left and Benson arrived. His words rang
through my head when he announced that he’d asked Nyx
fucking Taylor for help. If only he knew she was Nate’s
accomplice, adding to the team’s torture. Having her back
was like being in Nate’s presence again, which was
something nobody wanted. There were too many bad
memories tied to him, and Nyx was a reminder.
I got that she was a sports management major and could
help with our events, but that was it. Okay, perhaps she had
other skills as well. But it was pathetic that Benson had to
bring in outsiders because he couldn’t do his fucking job.
And it had to be Nyx, of all people.
My team hated her.
“Look,” Sebastian hummed with a smirk. “It’s your girl.”
I turned my head to stare out of the window just as
Nailea stopped her car long enough for Nyx to jump out.
She waved at her friend as she drove off before rushing
inside the cafe. I noted she wore a different outfit
compared to earlier. Jeans and a white shirt adorned her
body and I could make out a nametag but wasn’t certain.
Nyx didn’t glance around the cafe but rushed straight
behind the staff doors. I looked back to Sebastian and he
was still watching me with that fucking smirk of his. I
wanted to punch it off. Not even a minute later, Nyx
emerged from behind the doors. She stood with her arms
crossed, blue eyes scanning the cafe. And then they landed
on me. My blood boiled. There was just something about
her that made me angry.
Not something—everything.
Everything about her pissed me off. She glared at me,
making the hair on my arms stand up. Slowly, her eyes
drifted to the little girl still engrossed in Grayson’s phone.
Her brow rose in question. Almost begrudgingly, she
sauntered towards us, hands slipping into her jean pockets.
Sebastian was smirking like an idiot and Grayson looked
up, freezing when he noticed her making her way over. Out
of all of us, he was the most civil with her and tried his best
to stay on her good side.
It never worked.
Without taking her eyes off Indigo, she said, “Bag.” The
girl tore her eyes from the phone, a frown gracing her lips
when she saw Nyx and was ready to argue but got cut off.
“Now, Indie.”
Annoyed, Indigo gave Grayson his phone back before
stomping off to the staff doors. Grayson cleared his throat
when seeing that Nyx was glaring at him. “Taylor, long time
no see.”
Ignoring him, she turned to look at me. “Have you lost
your fucking mind?”
My lips tilted at her angry tone. It wasn’t every day Nyx
got angry. She had a way of pissing you off without even
becoming frustrated herself. But this was the first time in a
long while that she had any sort of emotion in her eyes
when arguing with me.
“Come find out.”
Her fists clenched as Sebastian chuckled. “Is this
because I agreed to help Benson?” she questioned, her
words practically dripping with venom. I didn’t convey my
confusion and let her speak. “Sending me your manly
glares was one thing but involving my sister—”
 Old enough to know that boys aren’t supposed to hurt
girls who try to help them. They shouldn’t hurt girls.
Period.
Indigo’s words played on a loop in my head. Was Indigo
implying that I had hurt Nyx? That was the furthest from
the fucking truth. Nyx was the villain in this story and she’d
stay that way.
Grayson raised a hand, eyes pleading with her to
understand. “Whoa, we didn’t know she was your sister,”
he said, speaking for all of us as he turned to see Indigo
walking over, pink backpack and blanket in her small
hands. “To be honest, she looks nothing like you.”
He wasn’t lying. Indigo had brown hair and brown eyes,
like that woman Annie. But everything about Nyx was the
opposite of her name; bright, with blue eyes and blonde
hair. She looked nothing like her sisters; sisters that I
didn’t even know she had. The new knowledge made me
slightly nauseous, solely because I’d had no idea.
Realising what she implied, I felt my anger grow. “You
think I’d use a little girl against you?” Did she honestly
think so low of me? If any of us had to have a low opinion of
the other, it would be me. And she had nobody to blame but
herself.
Smirking haughtily, she responded, “Wouldn’t surprise
me. I’ve come to expect disappointment from men.” And
there she was. That little crack in her facade was sealed in
the blink of an eye. “Have you realised we express
disappointment with, oh man? I wonder why.”
I didn’t respond because I knew what she was doing. It
was what she always did. She started an argument by
provoking us and whilst we got frustrated, she’d laugh as if
it was all entertaining. I could suddenly see the
resemblance between her and Indigo.
Sebastian shook his head, his smirk dissolving into a
scowl. “You know what I’ve always hated about you,” he
began, “your attitude.”
 Indigo stopped next to her sister, slipping her hand into
hers. The brown-eyed girl grinned at Sebastian before
saying, “Too bad she didn’t ask.”
Grayson’s jaw dropped and so did Sebastian’s. I was too
busy staring at the proud smirk on Nyx’s face. I knew
Indigo’s taunting of Beth had seemed familiar. I’d seen it
before, even been on the end of it numerous times. Indigo
waved goodbye, took keys from Nyx and left through the
doors, heading to a red pickup truck and climbing in.
Nyx stared at us. “You say that as if I care what you
think,” her gaze found Sebastian’s and she smirked, “you’re
a bug under my shoe, angel.”
Sebastian’s eyebrow jerked in restrained anger. He had
the worst temper out of all of us and Nyx knew that. She
wanted to provoke him.
Luckily, Beth chose that moment to return with
complimentary ice cream. “Dessert on the house for my
favourite hockey boys!”
She didn’t even notice Nyx, placing a bowl in front of
each of us. Like I knew he would, Sebastian slipped away,
claiming to need the toilet. Beth’s sugary sweetness always
annoyed him, even when we’d been younger.
“Thanks,” Grayson murmured, eying Nyx warily as she
stood to the side. When he looked at me, I could see what
he was thinking; we had to separate the two women unless
we wanted a full-blown war in the middle of the cafe.
“My mom said you could come to brunch,” Beth
continued our previous conversation, one that I was hoping
she’d forget about. “She misses having you around. I think
she always hoped we’d get together—”
“Drop your panties, why don’t you?” Nyx interjected,
looking bored and annoyed that our argument was
interrupted. If there was one thing Nyx loved, it was
arguing, and the fact that Beth acted as a hindrance most
probably pissed her off.
 Beth scanned Nyx from head to toe, looking satisfied
that she towered over her. Nyx wasn’t even that short, but
Beth had the legs of a runway model, making her nearly the
same height as Grayson; who stood at exactly six feet. The
look in Beth’s usually kind eyes was animalistic. It was as if
she concluded she was the predator and Nyx was the prey.
But size didn’t mean anything. Humans were the number
one predators, however, one touch from a poison dart frog,
roughly around the size of a paperclip, could take down a
grown man.
It felt like I was watching the whole thing play out, an
ignorant human coming into contact with a being that
could end their life. Grayson straightened, comprehending
that two of the only women in my life (other than my mom
and River) were about to interact. I’d realised that the
second Beth had walked over and it was like waiting for a
bomb to go off.
“Beth,” my childhood friend introduced herself after a
tense silence, one she allowed for the sole purpose of
intimidating Nyx. Beth never struck me as an intimidating
figure and it was weird seeing her attempt at it.
Nyx raised an unbothered brow. “That short for
Macbeth?” With that one inquiry, she managed to snuff all
of Beth’s attempts at being the predator.
Beth frowned and I fought the urge to laugh at the fact
that Indigo and Nyx thought along the same lines. They
were definitely sisters.
“It’s short for Bethany,” she replied in the calmest voice
she could muster, but both Grayson and I could tell she was
flustered.
The blonde girl hmphed. “Macbeth would’ve been
cooler, not gonna lie.” It was her turn to scan Beth and I
winced inwardly at the bored look in her icy eyes as if Beth
wasn’t worth her time. “Nyx Taylor.”
Recognition flashed through Beth’s expression and she
glanced at me. “I’ve heard so much about you, Nyx.” Her
voice was sweet, as always, but carried an underlying
meaning. I fought a groan.
“My reputation precedes me, I see. That’s cute,” Nyx
stated with a glimpse in my direction. Beth needed to shut
up. She made it seem as if I spoke about Nyx all the time,
and that was just pathetic. “Too bad I’ve never heard a
thing about you though.”
Beth’s lips tilted down and she looked at me for a split
second before she asked Nyx, “Really?”
An evil gleam appeared in her eyes. “Careful, honey,
don’t sound so disappointed. You might just give me the
impression that you seek validation from me. Then again,
doesn’t make you much different from Beck, does it?”
I wanted to fling myself through the window and
Grayson noticed. He tried to intervene. “This ice cream is
delicious—”
“It’s not anything good,” Beth continued, her stance
becoming protective. I was grateful for her, truly, but she
wouldn’t last a second against Nyx. “What was it he told
me on our last date?” she asked herself, emphasising that
I’d taken her on a date and I glanced at Nyx, spotting her
glare. “Oh, that you’re a backstabbing bitch.”
Nyx barely reacted. “You shouldn’t look so proud of the
fact that he speaks about me during your dates.” Beth
didn’t know what to say, seeming to think over her words.
“I see you’re avoiding blondes, now. Remind you too much
of me?” Her words were aimed at me and I felt my blood
boil all over again.
“Fuck you, Taylor,” I grumbled, watching the look of
confusion on Beth’s face dissolve into understanding and
then hurt.
Nyx laughed, the sound too sweet for somebody as evil
as her. “You already did, Hunt. See you at practice, boys.
Ciao.” Her boots clicked as she drifted away. I watched her
climb into the pickup truck.
 Beth looked at me weirdly before she stormed off. I
hadn’t told her of what happened between me and Nyx
personally, only the hockey team drama with her and Nate.
It was a shit way for her to find out, I had to admit.
And Nyx must’ve picked up on it. She was literally a wild
animal, able to sniff out weaknesses. Her mission was to
humiliate Beth, who only knew a snippet of our story.
“I’m gonna have to blame Beth on this one,” Grayson
spoke before I could, seemingly reading my thoughts.
“She’s always forcing herself into things that don’t concern
her, as sweet as she is,” he explained, scooping more ice
cream into his mouth. “It was kinda asking to be
humiliated, you know?”
I nodded, feeling more pissed at myself. Beth wasn’t a
confrontational person. If she knew something had
happened between me and Nyx, she wouldn’t have inserted
herself into what was essentially a fucked up relationship.
All she’d seen was somebody that I hated and she’d tried to
stand up for me. It was dumb, but completely Beth.
“Never thought I’d see the day Nyx would mention our
past,” I told Grayson and he laughed in agreement. “And
the first time she brings it up is to insult a girl whose mom
is forcing me to be with. Sebastian’s right, she’s a fucking
sociopath.”

OceanofPDF.com
“B ut they looked so nice!” Indigo blurted as I helped
her slip into her pyjamas. Freshly washed, she
smelt like a little baby. There was powder on her
chin and her hair was brushed flat against her head, pulled
into a neat bun. At first, she’d complained she looked like
an egg but calmed down when I said she was a pretty egg.
“And even though I was a little meanie, they were still nice.
I don’t understand.”
I wiped the powder from her chin, pressing a kiss to her
cheek. “Just because they’re nice to you doesn’t mean
they’re nice to everyone else,” I murmured, straightening
her pink nightie.
She wrapped her arms around my neck. “Are you angry
at me for sitting with them?” Her lips were a tiny pout and
I chuckled, brushing my knuckles over her smooth cheek.
“You looked angry. I tried to make them hurt for hurting
you, but I don’t think they took me seriously.”
A lot of her pronunciation was incorrect because of her
two missing front teeth. Picking her up, she squealed as I
placed her in the rickety bed. “I’ll admit, Indie, I was angry.
And I’m sorry if I took that out on you.” I felt bad about the
way I’d snapped at her to get her bag. “And I’m grateful
that you tried to stand up for me.”
“Always,” she countered, curling up into her blankets. “I
didn’t like the blondie, anyway. I made his eye twitch.”
I snorted at that, thinking back to Sebastian. I didn’t
have a problem with him, but he hated me solely because
his asshole of a captain still hated me. I wanted to move on.
That hatred was unjustified, but I didn’t mind dishing back
whatever he served. Thankfully, Nailea took joy in pissing
him off, essentially doing my job for me. Something else I
had to be grateful for when it came to her.
I kissed Indigo’s head, whispering that she needed to
get some sleep. She was still filled with energy, wanting to
talk the entire time. Her constant bursts of energy
reminded me of an aunt that was long gone. It almost
seemed like Indigo was born with her personality—like it
was the universe’s way of apologising for taking my aunt.
Indigo stayed talking for many minutes before finally falling
asleep.
Annie wasn’t home yet even though her shift at the cafe
ended hours ago and she wasn’t picking up her phone. I
tried to calm myself. It was her first day and we hadn’t
figured out transport yet. Nailea had dropped me so I could
get Indigo and then I’d driven home in Annie’s truck. I
would’ve asked Nailea to drive us home but she had things
to do and I didn’t want to be more of a burden than I
already was. Annie had assured me that the bus was still an
option for her, but for how long? Bus fare was expensive
once it piled up.
Turning off the light and closing the door to the room, I
stepped out into the tiny living room, seeing Poppy settled
at the coffee table, books spread out in front of her.
“Still busy with homework?” She’d been busy since I’d
gotten home, having stayed by herself until I arrived with
Indigo.
 Indigo may have looked like Annie, but Poppy was all
me. From the blonde hair to her bright eyes, she was my
spitting image since we both took after our mom,
something we both paid dearly for. She peered up at me,
eyes drooping with lethargy. “I’m nearly done.”
It was a lie, both of us knew it. There were still too many
subjects for her to catch up on, too many to finish in one
night. And she had the entire weekend ahead of her.
“You know, you don’t have to complete everything. Your
teacher said—”
“I want to,” she cut me off, fixated on the book in her
frail hands. I could smell it on her. Desperation. She was
shaking from the cold and I plucked the blanket up from
the couch before draping it over her.
“I don’t want a free pass.” Not wanting to offend her, I
lazily moved the books out of her reach, turning her papers
away. “Nyxie—”
“You’re tired, Poppy,” I told her, watching as her hands
shook. “You’re tired and you need to rest.” My eyes flitted
across her exposed arms, at the tiny freckles forming
constellations there. “We all understand if you’re a little
behind on school,” I eased her worries. “And if anybody has
a problem with that, they can deal with me.”
She knew exactly who I was talking about. With a
tremulous sigh, Poppy begged, “Is Annie mad at me?”
I smiled grimly. What was it about kids that made them
care about everything around them? Then again, Annie and
I were forced to grow up quickly. We’d been a pair of
worrying little people for years.
I sat down on the old couch and it whined under my
weight. “Come here,” I said, opening my arms and she
clambered into them, still shuddering. My grip around her
tightened as I pressed my nose to her head, inhaling her
familiar sweet scent. I hated that I was shaking as well.
“Why would you think that?”
 Poppy sniffled, clutching my white shirt, part of my
uniform at the grocery store. “Because she had to take
another job,” she confided, voice cracking with the weight
of her words. I closed my eyes, feeling them blaze. Annie
worked the morning shift at the local grocery store and I
worked the afternoon shift. But today, she’d started at the
cafe as well. “And she’s already so tired. I hear her crying
at night.”
“She doesn’t hate you.” I didn’t know how else to reply.
Annie and I tried our best to not burden the girls with
our financial problems. Living inside a bubble was better
for them. Poppy said nothing else. She just let her eyes
flutter closed. If Annie was here, she’d scold me. Poppy was
getting too big to fall asleep with us because she was afraid
of the dark. There was a nightlight in the room she shared
with Indigo, but she refused to fall asleep there. I didn’t
have the heart to tell her to go to bed. Instead, I held her
tighter, rocking side to side, just like I’d done when she was
younger.
As she drifted off, my thoughts meandered to Beckham
and his friends. I could never conclude whether I truly
hated him. My animosity stemmed from the fact that he
hated me. And he had a somewhat good reason to,
especially after what I’d done. The part that hurt me the
most was that he hadn’t come back to ask why I’d done
what I did. I thought he’d known me better than that, but I
was wrong.
Nothing could describe the fear in my heart when I’d
seen Indigo sitting with them. I kept my home life separate
from my school life. Seeing a morsel of that life so close to
Beckham had made fear distort my vision. I’d trusted
somebody once before with that part of my life and look
what happened; I got fucking sued, Annie was now working
two jobs and the rent was heaping up. Hopefully, that
problem would be ironed out very soon.
 I’d received the emails from Benson and my jaw had
dropped with how much they were going to pay me. My
wallet already felt full, opposing how dusty it usually was.
It meant I no longer had to work at the grocery store and I
could pay off our debts to the landlord. We were struggling,
we really were.
I had too much pride to ask anyone for help. Once, last
year, I’d been on the verge of telling Beckham about what
my life was like. I’d trusted him. But that trust wasn’t
reciprocal and looking back at it, I was glad I hadn’t told
him anything. I’d already made the mistake of confiding in
the wrong people, in weak people. They would find a way to
use your weaknesses against you to overlook their own.
My annoyance at myself grew because my thoughts
were stilled plagued with Beckham and our two
interactions today. The thought of him pushed me in the
direction of Beth, somebody I’d never met before. A fairly
tall girl with smooth dark skin and big eyes. Pretty. Beth
was so pretty. And she was also protective of Beckham, that
much I could tell. There were strong feelings on her part,
but I couldn’t put my finger on the meaning behind those
feelings.
As much as I hated Beckham, I couldn’t deny that I
could read him like a book. He didn’t like Beth, at least not
romantically. Either Beth was oblivious or she held out
hope his feelings would change. That was enough to make
me pity her and I felt nauseated at the thought that I had
humiliated her.
The common cause of catfights among women was men.
I had no reason to hate Beth, my actions fuelled by the
desire to one-up Beckham, unconsciously hurting Beth in
the process. It seemed to be a common occurrence with
me, focusing on my end goal without comprehending that I
could hurt people on my way there.
Beth didn’t have a reason to hate me either, fuelled by
whatever Beckham had told her. And there was the
problem: Beckham. I scoffed quietly, hating that I let him
get to me. Again.
The door to the house opened and in shuffled Annie,
exhaustion clear in her posture and expression. She leaned
against the wall, dropping her bag beside her. It was
obvious; she’d taken on another few extra hours. I watched
her with a heavy heart, hating that her usually warm brown
eyes looked lifeless. They were drooping as if her eyelashes
had anchors attached to them. She said nothing, just
shoved away from the wall and escaped into the bathroom.
And then the crying came.
Swallowing roughly, I picked up Poppy, groaning at her
weight in my arms. I had to remember she wasn’t a baby
anymore; she was turning thirteen soon. I carried her into
her room, depositing her onto the bed she shared with
Indigo. The latter rolled over in her sleep, binding her arms
around her big sister. Poppy snuggled into her hold,
snoring lightly.
On my way out, I flicked the nightlight on, knowing that
Poppy would have a heart attack if she woke up in the dark.
Annie was still sobbing when I halted outside the bathroom
door. Her sobs were like a fork grinding against a stainless
steel pot. I felt it in my teeth, in my entire body, and I hated
it. This was the one part of the routine that I abhorred. For
a few hours, I could forget whilst I attended classes,
surrounded by carefree students, taunting people, and
enjoying myself.
But Annie was working her ass off, worrying, crying.
Pushing the door open, I spotted her sitting on the dirty
tiles, reminding me I needed to scrub them. Annie glanced
up when I entered, face red and wet with tears. A choking
sound escaped her as she rubbed her nose. And following
the routine, I sat down next to her. She dropped her head
onto my shoulder.
“I’m sorry.” She always apologised, even though she
didn’t need to. We were all doing our best to survive. “I’ve
just—I’ve had a rough day.”
Gently rubbing her shaking hands, I asked, “What
happened?”
She sniffled, trying to wipe away her tears. “Nothing, it’s
silly. I just have to get used to working for Donovan. He has
a habit of yelling at his employees.”
I sighed. Annie didn’t react well to being yelled at, she
never did. We had our asshole of a dad to thank for that.
“He yelled at you?”
Another sniffle left her and she forced a laugh as she
nodded. “I mean, it’s my first day. I’m bound to mess up
because I'm still learning the dynamics of the place.” She
shook her head. “I messed up so many times, Nyxie. I’d be
surprised if I still have that job tomorrow.” Her words
shook with the fear of losing a source of income. A source
we needed.
Anger grew inside of me. “As you said, it’s your first day.
He can’t expect you to be perfect.”
“I’ll do better,” she assured me, sounding a little more
confident. I believed her fully. She’d hopped from job to job
and she always worked to the best of her ability. “But it’s
the yelling I have to get used to.” Her eyes filled with
shame. “When he yelled at me for dropping this one
customer’s cappuccino, I had to run to the back before
anybody could see me cry. Do you know how embarrassing
that is? Who still cries when they’re being yelled at—”
“Lots of people,” I interjected, not wanting her to
belittle herself. And she wasn’t just any person either. She
was the daughter of Matthew Taylor; a man who believed
violence and anger was the answer to everything. Being
raised by him came with side effects.
That was a euphemism for trauma.
Annie was quiet for a second, wiping away the last of
her tears. “I have to text Beth and thank her.” I raised a
brow. “She followed me out when she saw I was about to
burst into tears.”
 The guilt was back. “Did she help?”
My sister nodded. “Did exactly what you’re doing right
now. She just sat with me, although in silence. Gave me her
number in case I ever needed a friend to talk to.”
Annie never really had friends, and I could hear shy
happiness creep into her tone when she uttered that Beth
could be a friend. I sighed. When I saw Beth again, I had to
apologise to her.
“I hope she makes working for Donovan a little better,” I
added, completely sincere. Annie smiled, her previous
sadness gone from her expression. Moving on from the
topic of Beth and Donovan, I took my phone out and
handed it to Annie, where the emails from Benson were
opened. I’d been staring at it for a while, unable to believe
my eyes.
“What’s this?” she asked.
Running a hand through her short brown hair, I
answered, “My new job. Quit my one at the grocery store
today.” Annie’s dark brows banged together in confusion.
“This one will pay much more. Look.” I gestured to the
phone again.
Her mouth dropped open in shock, and I nearly laughed
at the comical sight. “Nyxie,” she spoke in an airy voice,
one that hinted her mind wasn’t in sync with her actions.
“This– how—” She paused, shaking her head. “No, this
can’t interfere with your studies—”
“It won’t,” I assured her, scrolling through the email and
pointing at a sentence. “If anything, it’ll help with my
studies. Annie, this is a dream come true. I can put my
skills to use and perhaps this could even give me a jump
start for when I graduate.”
Since I was a sports business and management major,
this internship could do wonders for my career. Helping the
Trojans during the duration of the Crosstown Cup could
mean getting noticed by influential people in the sports
industry. Loads of them attended the matches between USC
and UCLA. Going into public relations sounded ideal. I’d
love to work for a team and do marketing, damage control
and things like that.
And that’s what I’d be dealing with in the coming
months of my life, depending on how spread out the hockey
matches were. Special extra points were given to sports
divisions for fundraisers held in the community or even
regular events to boost morale and get more people to
support; because the Crosstown Cup wasn’t just about
competing and building skills—it was also about bringing a
community split by a rivalry closer together.
And it just so happened that event management was
part of my courses. Pair that with the notes that I’d
compiled about the team for the past year; this role was
made for me. And not only was I going to help the team
win, but I’d be bringing in much-needed money for my
family.
Annie stared at the digits of my payment, phone shaking
in her hands. The email stated that I’d be paid every week a
match and fundraiser are held.
“This is,” she choked on an incredulous laugh, “this is
going to help us so much.” Raising a tremulous hand, she
rubbed her red nose.
“We can’t tell him,” I stated firmly, and Annie froze,
looking terrified. “With my job at the grocery store gone, I
don’t have my half of the payments for him. Quit one of
your jobs and pay him what you can.”
“But Poppy’s physiotherapy bills—”
I cut her off. “Will fall to me now. You’ve done as much
as you can, it’s time for me to help more.” I hated that this
was Annie’s life. Four years older than my nineteen years of
age, Annie already had the weight of the world on her
shoulders. She cared for us, worked two jobs and gave up
her dream of furthering her education. It was high time I
paid her back.
 She sighed, the worry leaving with her breath. “Okay. I’ll
continue making the payments, but I’ll set some more
money aside for groceries and rent.” I went to intervene,
but she spoke again, “Until Poppy’s bills are paid off. Then
you can pay rent.” I smiled at that and she threw an arm
around me.
Poppy’s physiotherapy sessions had ended a week ago
and we were still behind on payment. By a lot. She’d
twisted her ankle terribly and could barely walk. At first,
I’d thought it was a silly twist, like when you stepped
wrong, but Poppy had been in constant pain. Physiotherapy
was our only option—and the reason for Annie’s second job.
Luckily for us, public school was free so we didn’t have
to worry about Poppy and Indigo’s fees. The school
provided them with everything they needed. Indigo’s
preschool was on the same premises so we didn’t have to
drive too far out.
“You should get some sleep,” Annie murmured through a
yawn and I laughed softly. Her eyes were filled with
exhaustion. Growing up, I was always jealous of those eyes.
And her hair. And her facial features. Because she wasn’t
burdened with our mom’s looks like Poppy and I were, but
I’d gotten over that jealousy in a matter of days. We were in
the same boat. There was no need to push anyone
overboard in jealousy or anger. Not like our mom had
pushed our grandma overboard, and now they were both
gone.
“You’re right,” I whispered but made no move to get up.
She didn’t either, just placed her head back on my shoulder.
“Do you remember the forts Uncle Robbie used to build
us in the bathroom when we lived with Grandma?” she
asked suddenly, no doubt wishing she had one of those as
she struggled to find comfort on the tiles.
Hearing the nostalgia in her voice filled my body with
lead. All these years, and she was still trying.
“You know I don’t, Annie.”
 According to stories from Annie, Uncle Robbie had been
our mom’s best friend and looked after us whenever he
could. A young Annie even believed that he’d had
something going on with our mom whilst our parents had
been separated. He’d died months before our mom had
gone back to our dad, devastating Annie. She was the only
one who sometimes spoke of him, albeit in secret,
considering our dad had hated him.
Annie tried to keep the memory of him alive, but it never
triggered anything. Days after I’d turned seven, Uncle
Robbie had gotten into a car wreck with me in the
backseat. He’d died on impact. My grandma said I’d gotten
off lucky. A concussion that left me with retrograde
amnesia.
I couldn’t remember a single fucking thing from before
the accident. Unfortunately, Uncle Robbie was part of those
memories. Every smile, every joke and tear shed. Gone. As
if he hadn’t once been loved by me.
But even when nobody wanted to talk about Uncle
Robbie, Annie continued to tell me stories of the man that
had loved us when our dad hadn’t wanted to. She believed
that I’d remember someday. So I let her speak of him
whenever she wanted to. And speak she did. I shifted
slightly on the cold tile, listening to her relay story after
story.
And that’s where we fell asleep, on the cold tile of the
bathroom floor. Just like when we were kids; hiding.

The first thing I noticed was the agonising pain in my neck,

courtesy of sleeping on the ground. The second thing I
noticed was that there was a fluffy blanket draped over me.
And the third thing I noticed was that a tiny person was
lying on my chest. At first, terrible memories returned,
violating my thoughts. I was sure that when I opened that
bathroom door, when I opened my eyes, I’d be met with
misery. I was so sure that when I left the bathroom, my dad
would yell at me.
It was routine and so far, all the boxes were ticked; I’d
slept in that bathroom with only a blanket and I held a tiny
girl to my chest. Said chest began throbbing with fear, but
then I recalled last night, putting Indigo and Poppy to bed,
sitting with Annie—and I realised I was safe.
I groaned in pain as I lifted my head. “Indie, what are
you doing in here?”
Her arms were wrapped around me, but she wasn’t
asleep, merely staring at the wall opposite her. “You and
Annie had a sleepover without me,” she pouted and I
snickered slightly, trying to crack my neck.
Indigo stood up, lifting the blanket with her. My laughter
died down when I realised she associated the bathroom
with a cheerful place, a place where she had frequent
sleepovers with her sisters. She didn’t see it the way we
did; a hiding place. I hoped it always stayed that way.
“Where’s Annie?” I inquired, standing up and stretching.
Bones cracked and I let out a loud yawn. I was going to be
in a lot of pain today.
“Making breakfast,” she countered, kissing my knuckle
before scurrying to the kitchen, blanket dragging behind
her.
I smiled at that and headed towards my room. There
were two beds belonging to me and Annie, respectively.
Both were untouched since we’d slept on the floor. I stalked
over to my dresser and placed a fresh pair of clothes on my
bed, deciding to shower after I had breakfast.
On my way to the kitchen, I found Poppy leaning against
the door to her room, placing her right foot on the ground
and lifting it repeatedly. She was grinning to herself,
probably thrilled about being able to go back to school. Her
teacher was kind enough to agree that she stay home for
the duration of her physiotherapy and sent her work over.
But I knew she secretly pitied us. With money having to be
put towards the physiotherapy bills, there was barely any
for transport and I didn’t want to bother Georgia more than
I needed to.
Poppy looked up when I passed her. “Dad come home
last night?” I questioned, slipping my hand into hers and
guiding her to the kitchen. She shook her head and I let out
a sigh of relief. I didn’t want to take my chances and go
check his room. Knowing Poppy, she’d been up early
already and peeked through the keyhole of his room. She’d
always hated him. “Good.”
“Morning, my lovely sisters!” Annie greeted, depositing
a few eggs onto plates. There was an apron wrapped
around her. It was worn out, one that Poppy and I bought
her a while back. In white font, it read: world’s best
mommy. “I’ve got eggs and bacon galore!”
Indigo clapped excitedly, laughing when her breakfast
was put together in the shape of a smiley face. Poppy
stabbed a folk through the egg, making it weep yolk, and
Indigo screamed at her for murdering the egg. She
demanded we host a tiny funeral and Poppy egged her on,
pun intended, by demanding we bury the slain where it
belonged—in Poppy’s ravenous tummy.
The blonde roared like a monster, gobbling the egg, yolk
dripping from her mouth. She chewed dramatically, causing
Indigo to giggle like a lunatic. I beamed, moving past Annie
to get to the fridge. She nudged my hip as I took out a
carton of orange juice, lining up three glass cups and one
plastic Barbie one. The cups were mismatched, having lost
their siblings time and time again when Indigo tried to
reach for high cabinets and dropped things.
Whilst pouring the juice, I stared at a screaming Indigo
who tried to lean out of the way when Poppy threatened to
smear yolk all over her precious face. Annie scolded the
two, but the smile on her face never wavered. She looked
healthier; like she had a good sleep, which was weird
considering we’d slept on cold tiles the entire night.
I wondered how my mom could leave this behind. I
wondered how she could leave without looking back,
without thinking of Indigo’s melodious laugh, Poppy’s
sweet smile and Annie’s abundant love for her family. A
separate space of hatred inside me was reserved just for
my mom. She’d never been a good mother, but her faults
had been eased by the presence of my grandma and Uncle
Robbie—probably the only two people who loved us.
Even after Uncle Robbie’s death and our mom running
back to our dad, we still had our grandma. But Eliza Taylor
just had to ruin that too, jealous that we loved her mom
more than our own. She’d gotten a restraining order
against my grandma on the grounds of stalking and
harassment, her case fuelled by the fact that my grandma
had planned to file for custody of us. Although I was
probably only fourteen at the time, I still understood the
complex feelings of heartbreak my grandma had gone
through during the process. When she’d been asked to
leave our lives, my sisters and I felt her absence. And then
my mom left. So what was the fucking point? She should’ve
let my grandma take us when she had the chance if she
was just planning to leave anyway. I’d never forgive her for
that.
My phone began ringing noisily and I wondered who
was calling me this early. It was on the coffee table. Annie
must’ve placed it there when she’d woken up. Indigo
hopped off the chair, dashing for my phone and bringing it
to me. I kissed her head, taking the phone from her and
seeing that it was Nailea.
I frowned, answering it as Annie shushed the girls when
Poppy flicked egg yolk at Indigo. “Nyxie’s Pecan Farm,
which nut would you like to speak to?”
“Dude, guess what?!” Nailea screamed, prompting me to
hold the phone at a distance. When she was done
squealing, I brought it back to my ear. I’d learnt to never
guess when Nailea asked me to. She never gave you
enough time because her excitement propelled her to just
blurt the news. “There’s a party tonight!”
Taking a bite of bacon, I chewed before stating, “There’s
a party every weekend. I don’t see how this concerns me.”
If this was one of those times Nailea implored me to tag
along with her and her friends, then she was going to be
painfully disheartened, as usual.
She squealed again and I cringed at the deafening noise.
“But ask me who’s throwing it!” Not even a second later,
she spoke again. “The hockey boys!” I hummed, my interest
peaking. “I heard a lot of members from other sports
divisions are gonna be there to show their support. You
know, since the hockey boys are finally joining the cup after
ages.”
“And who did you hear this from?” I inquired, taking
another morsel of bacon, only for Poppy to whack my hand
because I was eating from her plate. “Because last time you
heard there was a party at a barn, but when you got there,
a farmer made you clean up cow—”
“That’s only because the girl that told me about the
party hated me because she thought her boyfriend cheated
on her with me—which wasn’t true!” Nailea justified and I
smirked to myself, recalling how her perfect hair had smelt
like cow shit for days. “But I have an excellent source this
time. Sebastian told me about the party.”
A crease must’ve formed between my brows in confusion
because, as Annie shuffled past me, she gently smoothed
the line.
“Sebastian invited you? Sebastian Hayes? The guy that’s
almost as unpleasant as the guy whose feet he worships?
The guy that hates you almost as much as his captain hates
me?”
Indigo raised her head at the mention of the blonde
man, murmuring to Poppy that he had the looks of Prince
Charming with the personality of Lord Farquaad. I nearly
laughed at the accuracy.
Nailea was silent for a beat and I knew there was a
catch. “Well, he didn’t exactly invite me. He said, and I
quote: don’t you dare show up.” I snorted. Nailea was
known to show up at every party. Sebastian had only
succeeded in motivating her to attend by saying that. “He
was using reverse psychology.” Of course that’s what she
concluded. “So?”
“So what?” I returned.
“We’re going tonight, right?” she probed, her tone
pleading. Without even having to be in her presence, I
knew her lips were in a pout and she was doing that puppy
thing with her eyes.
I sighed, peering at my now cold egg. “Nailea, I can’t.”
Annie frowned at me and I turned away. “I’m booked today
—gimme a sec,” I added when I spotted my older sister
trying to catch my attention. Muting the call, I urged Annie,
“What?”
“Go tonight, enjoy yourself—”
I was already shaking my head. “No, I’m not leaving you
alone tonight.” Annie placed her hands on her hips, looking
like an offended mother.
“I won’t be alone. I have these two little devils. Besides,
when was the last time you went to a party?” At my silence,
she grinned. “Exactly. Now, tell Nailea you’re going.”
Huffing, I unmuted the call, informing Nailea I’d be
attending. She screeched so powerfully that I was certain
my eardrums exploded. I hung up after she promised to
pick me up. She was the only other person who knew about
my sisters, which was why she frequently helped with
transport or babysitting. I was grateful for her, truly.
As I sat down, eating my cold egg, I realised I could use
this party to my advantage since all the hockey boys would
be there—especially Beckham. Knowing how the team
could be, I knew it would be troublesome to get them to
behave, solely because I was a girl. I could deal with their
attitudes, but the flirtation, sexist remarks, teasing and
even the bullying would be hell. And that’s when I set my
plan for tonight in motion.

OceanofPDF.com
I ’d always known Nailea was a popular one. Her beauty
alone demanded an invitation to every party. She was a
frequent name thrown around the locker room, although
none of the boys had ever been given a sliver of her
attention. I could see the appeal, but I’d always found her
beauty a little unnerving. Nobody could look that perfect; it
was impossible. I’d expected to see her at my party, alone
even, considering sometimes she would arrive without her
supposed friends. But I swallowed my tongue when I
walked downstairs, seeing Nailea dancing on top of a table,
swinging her jacket above her head. Although, my attention
wasn’t on her. It was the girl next to her.
Nyx fucking Taylor was dancing on the table I ate at
every morning, barely wearing anything and drunk out of
her mind. She was laughing with Nailea and the sight was
so foreign that I had to blink a few times. Wearing a barely-
there tank top and tiny jean shorts, she looked like
something out of every frat boy’s fantasy. Her hair was
loose, bouncing all over the place with each sway of her
hips.
 Nyx had the personality of a robot whose default setting
was to be a bitch, but this was something entirely new. I’d
never seen her at a party before as she tended to avoid
them. It was suspicious that she’d showed up at my party,
at my house. The music grew louder as people cheered the
two girls on. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing and it
appeared many others felt the same way.
A carefree Nyx Taylor was a sight to behold.
Nailea wrapped her arm around Nyx’s bare waist,
pulling her back to her front. To my surprise, Nyx was
grinding against the short girl, eyes closed as she held her
arms up, swaying her head to the music. I scowled when a
guy shoved past me, trying to get a closer look. My
annoyance grew when he began tossing money at the two,
but they weren’t paying attention to him or any of the other
guys.
More people were climbing on sofas and counters,
trying to get some of the attention Nyx and Nailea were
receiving. The latter tossed her head back, eyes rolling to
the back of her head as she spun, sending the crowd of
horny guys into a screaming fit.
“I don’t know if I should be turned on or disgusted by
myself,” Sebastian said over the music as he stopped next
to me, a red cup of beer in his hands. I raised a brow at the
look in his clear eyes and he laughed, the sound lost among
the noise. “Chill, I’m talking about the tiny demon, not your
girl.”
The smirk stayed on his lips when I glowered at the
implication of his words. He must’ve seen that I was on the
verge of punching him so he pushed away, laughing the
entire time as he disappeared into the kitchen. Since he
never enjoyed being surrounded by too many people, he
always ate the night away. I scoffed, turning my head to
find Grayson.
And that’s when Nyx’s eyes caught mine.
 I froze, unable to move from my spot against the wall.
The smirk that tugged at her full lips was my undoing. She
ran her hands up her bare stomach, dragging the material
up a little as she brushed over her breasts before
disappearing into her hair, hips swaying all the time.
Tossing her head back, she ran her tongue over her teeth,
winking at me. My fists clenched and my eyes narrowed,
making her grin widen.
If possible, the music became even louder, causing the
ground to tremble. I’d have angry neighbours knocking
soon. Nyx held her hands out in front of her in fists.
Keeping eye contact with me, she twisted both hands,
showing me two middle fingers paired with a wink.
Unable to help myself, I chuckled.
She smiled at that, twirling on the spot and tilting
forward slightly. The group that was standing behind her
went ballistic. She raised her head, flipping her hair behind
her, reminding me of a mermaid—or perhaps a siren, luring
men to their deaths. Her hands were running over her
body, and many of her audience followed her actions with
eager eyes. I realised with a scowl that the majority of the
hockey team was part of that audience.
Surprising nobody, seeing as Nailea was a touchy and
overly affectionate drunk, the latter stepped forward,
gripping the material of Nyx’s top in her hands and yanking
her forward. And then their lips met. The crowd of horny
students screamed. Another chuckle left me as I watched
them make out. It didn’t look very enjoyable because both
of them were trying to dance while kissing, so it was all
over the place. Nyx pulled away and not even a second
later, she burst into a fit of giggles.
Nailea did the same, dramatically wiping her mouth with
the back of her hand as she yelled, “That was fucking
disgusting! I’m pretty sure I’ve got saliva up my nose!”
Nyx could barely speak through her laughter and
nodded her head, eyes clenched shut and hands pressed to
her probably aching stomach.
Sebastian appeared again, holding a bag of chips. “What
did I miss?”
Deciding to torture him, I responded, “They made out.”
His eyes expanded in shock, pupils dilating. “Who made
out?” I didn’t respond. His head turned to stare at the two
girls as they climbed off the table. “Them?” I still didn’t
respond and Sebastian swore. “Tell me.”
Patting his shoulder, I walked away. Pushing my way
through the crowd, I found everybody turning back to their
dancing. Pride filled me at the thought of everyone
enjoying themselves. I wanted my team to have fun. The
only member who wasn’t present tonight was Jai, the right-
winger. He was disappointed he couldn’t make it, but
everyone had promised to drink on his behalf. And they
were keeping that promise, considering how they were
drunkenly floundering around.
I was stopped by a delicate hand being placed on my
chest and I nearly rolled my eyes, not in the mood to be
seduced by a puck bunny. The term was used to describe
fans of ice hockey whose interest in the sport was mostly
due to their sexual attraction to the players instead of the
actual sport. They were fun to have at a party, I had to
admit, but could get annoying quickly.
However, I was surprised. I followed the smooth skin of
the hand, finding Nyx standing in front of me. She was
staring up at me with wide, innocent eyes. This was a ploy.
Nyx was the furthest thing from innocent. She was a
fucking minx.
“Yes?” I raised a brow, waiting for her to remove her
hand, but she merely trailed the length of my shoulder,
hand slipping into my hair and both my brows rose.
And something else.
I was a man and a hot woman was touching me. The
only downside was that it was Nyx eliciting these reactions
from me. She smiled drunkenly, reminding me she was
intoxicated and that if she wasn’t—she wouldn’t be this
close to me. Not after what had happened.
“I’m surprised,” she mumbled, causing me to have to
lipread when I asked her to repeat herself. “Your party
doesn’t suck as much as I thought it would’ve. Did you
invite Nate?”
There was an amused glint in her eyes, telling me she
was enjoying seeing the way my features scrunched up in
anger. It was as if she was reminding me of what she’d
done, of how she’d helped the bastard that was my
previous captain. And it was a good thing. I needed to be
reminded. Even drunk, she knew how to pull my strings. I
raised a hand, gripping her arm and moving her away from
me slightly. She laughed, stepping closer again and binding
my arms around her waist.
When she began swaying, I stood there, glaring down at
her. “Step the fuck away from me,” I grumbled. My tone
was sharp, but she barely reacted.
Nyx looked up at me. “Make me.”
Before I could speak, she twirled around, pressing
herself against me and placing my hands on her bare
stomach, her own hands lifting to go to my hair. She rolled
her hips against mine and I curbed a groan. Over her head,
I saw Sebastian watching me with a smirk as he chewed on
a doughnut. Other members of my team were watching me
as well, grinning at the girl pressed against me.
Ignoring them, I dragged my right hand up her body
before locking it around her throat and she froze. I leaned
down, lips brushing her ear as I interrogated in a rough
tone, “What the fuck are you doing here, Taylor?”
“So cynical,” she mused and I could hear the mirth in
her voice. “Poor baby Hunt, so distrusting of others.” She
turned back around, driving my hand to slip to her nape
before she proceeded, “And for good reason too.” Her lips
tipped at the corners, a smile that a devil would give its
victim. “People these days, motivated purely by self-
interest.”
She snickered at my obvious displeasure, glancing away
from me, swaying on the spot. The hand that was at her
nape moved into her hair and I yanked at the blonde
strands, forcing her to tilt her head back and look up at me.
“Did Nate send you?”
Nobody had heard from that fucker since he’d lost the
captaincy and left the school. But Nyx would keep in
contact with him and she was probably his ticket into
whatever gossip he was missing out on at USC.
She laughed, eyes lighting up. “As if Nate would concern
himself with you or me.” My grip on her hair tightened,
only making her smile grow. Her words were bait, trying to
taunt me. And I fell for it every fucking time. “He left you
behind when he left the school, sweetheart. Don’t be
conceited, you’re not that important—”
“So you’re lonely then?” I intervened. “Because I’m
starting to think you have a thing for throwing yourself at
hockey players.”
Nyx laughed softly at that, revealing two dimples on
either side of her cheeks. She rarely smiled wide enough to
reveal them and the sight of it had me thinking that it
didn’t fit her personality. It was like giving a lion an
adorable smile.
“You like to flatter yourself, don’t you, Hunt?” She
glimpsed to the side, spotting a few of my teammates, and
she winked. “Perhaps it’s just the hockey players who have
a thing for me.”
Swearing softly, I stepped back, dragging Nyx behind
me. If she was at the party to fuck with my head, then she
needed to leave—after I interrogated her. The Nyx I knew
hated my guts. Either she was a confident drunk, even
more than her sober self, or she wanted something,
something for Nate. That asshole seemed like somebody
who couldn’t let go of the past, get over his loss. If there
was one person I hated more than Nyx, it was Nathan
Wyatt.
I guided her past the theatre room where couples were
making out and others were watching music videos on the
large screen. Oliver, one of the defencemen, stood in the
corner, his arms around a girl. He raised a brow at seeing
me with Nyx, nudging Jasper and the two grinned at me. I
didn’t know how it happened, but it went from me dragging
her, to her slipping past me and pulling me along.
She grinned at the other drunken occupants of the
house before stomping up the stairs, making her way past
grinding couples and into my room. I stared at the back of
her head as her eyes scanned the area, no doubt being hit
with a flood of memories. It took a few seconds for her to
compose herself and then she spun around with the
beginning of a smirk appearing on her lips.
Sensing that she was about to start one of her mind
games, I spoke before she had the chance to. “What are
you doing here, Taylor?” I questioned, leaning against the
now shut door.
Still smirking, she shrugged. “I wanted to talk, you
know, it’s been a while.” Her head tilted to the side and she
watched me carefully, her smirk turning into a grin once
she saw that she had unnerved me with her icy stare.
Growing frustrated with her obvious taunting, I
sauntered towards my bed and muttered, “If this is some
sort of ploy to help—"
“Nate,” Nyx finished with a thoughtful look and my jaw
clenched. “Nathan Wyatt,” she murmured, no doubt feeling
the weight of his name. It was like a boulder placed on your
chest, stripping you of all air. “Did you know that you
always mention him around me?”
The question was rhetorical so I overlooked it and
reiterated my initial question. “What are you doing here?”
She stepped closer, pushing me down onto the bed. With a
smirk, she straddled my lap, yanking me closer.
 “Fine, I came to talk,” she spoke airily, running her nose
up my jaw to speak into my ear.
“You could speak to me without touching me,” I hissed
through gritted teeth, still not trusting her presence.
On their own accord, my hands framed her hips. I told
myself it was to stop her from moving because she began
rocking to the beat of the music coming from downstairs.
When she rolled against me again, I smothered another
groan. This proved I needed to fucking get laid.
Pouting dramatically, she urged, “Where’s the fun in
that?” I scowled and she snickered. “I came to tell you I
start on Monday since you’re that curious.”
“And let me guess,” I began, tilting my head and
realising why she’d led me to my room, why she was
throwing herself at me. “You came to beg me to keep the
guys in check.” The corner of her lips tilted, but she didn’t
speak. “We both know they hate you and you think that by
doing this,” I gestured to where her hips were moving
against me, “I’ll help you.”
She paused, speaking in the most condescending tone
ever. “Oh, baby, that’s not it at all.” My eye twitched in
irritation. Leaning forward, she pulled my earlobe between
her teeth, and this time, I didn’t have enough time to
disguise my groan. “I’m getting sick of you comparing me
to Nate all the time, you know?” she murmured, fiery
breath hitting my ear. “You’re obsessed with him, just
admit it.”
There was a teasing smile on her face, hinting that she
knew something I didn’t. This was all a game to her. I
wasn’t going to take the bait, not this time. “Fuck you,
Taylor.”
Her lips quirked as she stretched back. “Are you
offering, Hunt?”
My hand cupped the back of her neck and I wrenched
her forward, catching her by surprise and making her
squeak. Our noses were touching as I informed her, “I’m
not gonna play your games. We need you, I’ll admit that.
You’ve got a better shot at helping us with the fundraisers
than Benson does. But I want you to stop whatever you’re
doing.” And to hurt her, I added, “Plus, I don’t take Nate’s
sloppy seconds.”
Pain flickered through her eyes and momentarily, I felt
bad. But it was gone in a second, the same as the emotion
she’d just displayed.
Indignantly, she pushed off me, smirking at the
prominent bulge in my jeans. “Do yourself a favour and get
laid.”
I placed a hand over it. “You offering your famous
services?”
Without responding, she twisted on her heel, checking
the time before leaving my room, and I didn’t know
whether to laugh or throttle her. When I went downstairs,
Oliver winked at me, making obscene gestures with his
hands after witnessing us appear from upstairs, before
pointing in the direction Nyx had gone.
Rolling my eyes at his childish antics, I traced the path
she’d taken, only to see a guy from the football team
cornering her. Adam, I think his name was. His team had
won three of the five football matches against UCLA thus
far.
And the hockey team hadn’t even played one match yet.
I grimaced at the reminder.
Not a few feet away stood a girl glowering at Nyx. I
recognised her as one of the many foreign exchange
students. Although I knew she was from Japan, I couldn’t
seem to put my finger on her name. She was tall with sleek
black hair, dressed to the nines in a skin-tight black dress.
Her catlike eyes had been on Adam, but the latter’s eyes
were all for Nyx.
Couldn’t blame him, to be honest.
“You wanna test some of those moves out on me?” Adam
asked Nyx jokingly, referencing the performance she and
Nailea had given everyone.
It was then that I noticed the easy air between them and
I realised he’d probably only approached her because she
was familiar. Nyx glanced to the side, pinpointing the upset
girl, and beamed. For a second, I thought she was going to
antagonise her.
Yet, she replied, “Adam, this is my friend…” She
gestured to the girl, clearly not knowing her name.
Sensing what Nyx was doing, the girl supplied with a
bright smile as she stepped closer, “Emiko.” Her husky
accented voice was nearly swallowed by the music.
Nyx nodded, grinning when she saw Adam almost shyly
glance at Emiko. “My friend, Emiko, over here,” she began,
wrapping an arm around Emiko’s waist, “taught me all the
moves I know.”
I smirked when Adam’s eyes became hooded. He wasn’t
even looking at Nyx anymore, but rather at the raven-
haired girl by her side. “Did she now?” he sought teasingly,
voice deep. Emiko flushed red and nodded. “Well, would
you like to have a drink with me?” He smiled lightly before
turning around, gesturing for her to follow him.
Emiko glanced to Nyx, probably bewildered as to why
she’d done that. But the minx just tapped Emiko’s ass and
declared, “Go get your man.” The taller girl sent Nyx a
grateful smile before rushing after Adam.
“Do my eyes deceive me or do you have a heart?” I
inquired, shoving my hands into my pockets as I made my
way to her. She rolled her eyes when she saw me
approaching and I stifled a laugh.
“Of course they deceive you. It’s the only reasonable
explanation considering you once thought skinny jeans
were a good look on you.”
Shrugging, I countered, “Steph seemed to have
opposing views to you.”
Without missing a beat, she quipped, “Steph Coleman
also petitioned for the school to allow her to wear t-shirts
and bras with holes in them because they were imprisoning
her nipples.” I turned my head to the side, hiding my smile.
“Does the slogan free the nipples sound familiar to you?”
She just had an answer for everything. “What happened
to girls supporting girls? You’d shit on her idea?”
“If you wanna see my nipples, just ask,” she mused. “No
need to beat around the bush.” My eyes dropped to her
chest momentarily before raising back to her eyes, eyes
that were twinkling with mischief. She was fucking with me
again, as always.
“Pass,” I snorted, making her feign a pout. “But I’m sure
Nate will take you up on that offer,” I added, mocking her
previous words of me always bringing him up around her.
All playfulness left her expression. Even though the air
was stuffy inside the house, the air around Nyx and me
went ice cold. I felt a shudder slither down my spine. Her
eyes were glaciers as she glared at me, hostility fuelling
her words. I felt like a passenger on the Titanic, heading
straight for the iceberg that would cause me to sink. And
her words were the frigid waters that would freeze my
blood.
“You just can’t move on, can you?” I said nothing. “At
least his daddy didn’t have to pay for his captaincy.”
That was a low blow. I didn’t like being reminded of my
dad’s offer to pay Coach Ford to make me captain. No
money was exchanged and I’d earned my position with
hard work. But people still talked about it; people like Nyx.
Rage built in my chest, like fire ready to disintegrate the
ice shards she was flinging with the intention to impale me.
Making it evident that I was examining her from head to
toe, I stated, “But he had to pay for something else, didn’t
he?”
There were two sides to the rumour that’d spread about
her last year. The one side made more sense and I believed
it; that she was being paid to help Nate with his events and
marketing strategy. The other side was plain stupid; that he
was paying her to sleep with him, but students were greedy
for gossip and word-of-mouth twisted information. The
meaning behind my words was clear as day.
I was going with the second rumour.
Her lips parted, but no words came out. She shut her
mouth, nodding to herself as if seeing me in a new light. I
didn’t like that look. Then she left and I didn’t follow her. I
stood there, staring at the spot she previously occupied.
There was an uneasy feeling in my chest, one telling me to
go after her.
I knew I brought Nate up a lot, but I did it to remind
myself of what Nyx had done, to remind her and hope that
she’d feel some sense of fucking guilt for aiding the man
that had put us through hell. But she never did. So why the
fuck should I?
A tap on my shoulder broke me out of my stupor. It was
Grayson. “Beth’s headed your way, just a heads up.”
My mind was still reeling from my conversation with
Nyx and I spluttered, “What? Who invited her?”
“I did,” Grayson retorted innocently, although he knew I
didn’t want to see her until I could place us firmly in the
friendzone. “Stop stringing her along, man. Now’s your
chance. It’ll make things easier, trust me. The longer you
go without explaining things to her, the more time you give
her mom to try and set you two up.” I grimaced at his
words.
With an encouraging smile, his tall frame shuffled away,
disappearing into the crowd as he beckoned for Jasper to
join him outside for a game of beer pong. I wasn’t in the
mood to talk to anybody, not at that moment. But it seemed
the world wasn’t on my side because, a second later, I was
staring into the kind eyes of Beth.
“Hi!” she greeted me over the loud music, moving a
little closer so I could hear her. “I’ve been looking for you
since I first got here.” She was wearing a pair of jeans with
a cropped sweater, her braids now decorated with beads
that matched the blue of her sweater.
“Hey,” I greeted warily, not knowing how to behave
around her after she’d stormed off at the café. I considered
Beth one of my close friends and hurting her feelings didn’t
exactly sit well with me, not when I’d seen her go through
the worst. So I mustered up my pride and said, “About what
happened—”
“You’re cool, no worries,” she cut me off, probably
sensing that I was about to apologise for not telling her the
full truth. “I should be the one apologising, seeing as the
situation didn’t even involve me.” There was a sheepish
look in her eyes and she wouldn’t meet my gaze, too
embarrassed.
When somebody jostled her again, I placed a hand on
her upper back and guided her towards the kitchen where
it was less rowdy. Subconsciously, I kept my eyes peeled for
Nyx, trying to spot her in the crowd. Sebastian was in the
kitchen when we got there, eating a bag of chips. When he
saw Beth, he offered her an attempt at a smile, which was
more of a grimace, before leaving.
“I’m glad we sorted that out,” Beth spoke again,
allowing Sebastian’s rudeness to float by her, as she usually
did. “I’ll admit, the little girl inside of me was upset
because you’re one of my best friends, but when I got
home, my mom spoke some sense into me.”
I tensed at the mention of Vivian Braswell. “Your mom?”
I asked gently, pouring us two cups of soda. One more cup
of beer and I was bound to throw up.
Beth nodded, thanking me as she took the cup. “She said
I can’t expect every guy I meet to not have a past. That’d
be unfair, you know?” I nodded, even though I didn’t fully
understand what was going on. She took a sip of her drink
before speaking again. “Nyx and you have history, so what?
Things happened, but it’s in the past.”
 “In the past,” I repeated, trying to read between the
lines. Beth’s face was moist due to the heat in the house
and she coughed when she took another sip from the cup in
her hands.
“I mean, I don’t exactly like what she did to you and the
team, but that’s your problem, right? It has nothing to do
with me. I just wanna say that I’m on your side, no matter
what.”
She gave me an awkward thumbs-up, one that had me
cracking a small smile. Before I knew it, I was pulling her
into my arms for a hug, not missing the way she sank into
my embrace. “We’re good, Beth. No worries.”
A sigh of relief left her. “Thank goodness. Thought I was
gonna have to fly solo at the brunch—”
And here was God’s way of fucking with me again. Beth
was interrupted, and I was thankful because I didn’t want
to go to the brunch, especially one planned by her
meddlesome mom.
But the interruption came in the form of a grinning Nyx,
who stumbled into the kitchen with Nailea. The two girls
were laughing, both trying to keep the other upright. Beth
tensed when she noticed them, her grip around her cup
tightening in apprehension.
“God, he’s so fucking hot and for what?” Nailea
questioned Nyx in exasperation, moving to the fridge to get
two bottles of water. “Too bad he’s a dick.”
Nyx snorted, grabbing the beverage from her friend. “I
know exactly how you feel, Nai, trust me.” She raised the
bottle to her lips, eyes finding me. The easiness in her
posture disappeared in an instant.
Surprisingly, it was Beth that spoke first. “Nyx, is it? I
just wanted to apologise for the other day—”
“There’s no need, trust me,” Nyx stopped her, a tiny
smile tugging at her lips and I frowned, wondering what
was up with the sudden change in attitude towards Beth. “I
was in a bad mood and if I said anything to offend you, I’m
sorry.” She didn’t offer anything else, but she sounded
genuine. “I should also thank you, for helping my sister
when Donovan yelled at her.”
Beth’s eyes swelled with surprise. “Annie’s your sister?”
Nyx was grinning as she nodded. “Wow, um, I didn’t know
she was your sister. But she’s super nice.”
Nyx smirked. “Unlike me?” That managed to make Beth
laugh. “Seriously though, I appreciate you being there for
her.” Beth only smiled shyly, looking away when Nyx’s gaze
became too much. I was so invested in their conversation
that I’d forgotten there was another person present.
Nailea was eying my proximity to Beth and I prayed she
didn’t press on it. My prayers went unanswered. “Since
when have you got a girl, Hunt?” She shared a glance with
her blonde friend, the latter staring blankly at me.
I cursed inwardly. There was no way to answer her
question without hurting Beth in the process. Beth laughed
into her hand. Nyx saved me from having to answer. “I
gotta call Annie. You coming, Nai?”
In the blink of an eye, the two were gone, leaving me
alone with Beth. We fell into a comfortable conversation
and I listened to her talk about her new job at the café.
However, my attention wasn’t fully on her, part of my brain
still hung up on a question that’d been nagging me since
Nyx had left.
Did she save me from labelling my relationship with
Beth, or did she leave because she didn’t want to hear the
answer?

OceanofPDF.com
M y sports media law and ethics class dragged on for
what felt like hours. The chair was hurting my ass
and the lecturer’s voice was blander than the tea
Indigo once made me. It was agonising. Perhaps class
would’ve been better if Nailea was there, but she was
absent because she’d drank so much on Saturday that the
hangover was still with her.
Or maybe she was just lazy.
I’d gotten used to the seat next to me being vacant. The
only times it was filled were during the classes I shared
with Nailea. She was majoring in sports journalism, so we
had some classes in common. She was the only one who
bothered to speak to me, probably because I didn’t exactly
look friendly. And even more so today.
The cut in the corner of my mouth was red, even though
I’d received it in the early hours of Sunday morning when
I’d arrived home. At least the bruise on my cheekbone was
fading, but I’d still covered it with some makeup to be safe.
When my lecturer announced class was over, I nearly leapt
out of my seat. Shoving my notes into my bag, I rushed out
of the classroom.
 It was a fifteen-minute walk to the edge of campus
where the rink was. USC hadn’t always had their own ice
rink. Instead, they’d trained and hosted games at
Lakewood Ice and Anaheim Ice. Our rink was a somewhat
new renovation, one that I was thankful for.
Carrying two bags, one filled with files and the other
with clothes; my shoulders were hurting. I was sweating by
the time I arrived and had already removed my jacket, but I
knew I’d be freezing soon. Entering the building, I passed
the rink; still vacant. Loud laughter was coming from the
locker room and I rolled my eyes. Passing the door, I
headed to Benson’s office.
I found him seated behind his desk. Last night, I’d
decided that the two of us weren’t enemies. We were both
working towards the same thing; the team’s success. So I
no longer had to be stingy with my knowledge. And he
could do much more with that knowledge than I could,
seeing as he was the coach. Dropping my gym bag onto the
floor and the other onto his desk, I startled him and he
looked up with irritation in his eyes. Ignoring him, I
rummaged through my bag, taking out a thick file and
handing it to him.
“My notes,” I told him, gesturing for him to take them.
He took it hesitantly, seemingly perplexed. “You and I both
know that majority of Coach Ford’s plans stayed where
they originated—in his head.”
Benson opened the file, shock replacing the irritation.
“Miss Taylor—”
“He’d make physical copies of the drafts but once he
added his revisions and finalisations, the drafts went into
the trash and his mind absorbed his new idea,” I continued,
taking out another file and thinking back to how Ford was
like a sponge. “My plan for this year was to help Coach
Ford, before he left, of course. I knew he was protective of
his team and unwilling to let just any stranger close to
them. I had to gain his trust and respect before he’d let me
close to his boys. So I did what I do best; I studied my ass
off.”
The older man in front of me nodded as he flipped
through the first file. “I’m impressed,” he said mindlessly,
engrossed in my notes. It wasn’t a compliment, more like a
statement of astonishment, as if he didn’t expect something
like this from me. If it was truly a compliment, I would’ve
thanked him.
Suppressing my annoyance, I added, “With a degree in
sports management, there’re many routes I could take.
Then, I was settled on becoming a sports agent, and I
wanted to impress Coach Ford with my abilities in studying
a team.” Taking out the third file, the last one, I planted it
next to the others. “I attended every game they played, sat
in the audience with a notebook and pen.”
And sometimes a very hyper Indigo, but I didn’t add
that.
Benson froze, looking up at me. There was genuine
respect in his eyes and I knew that if he wasn’t as proud as
he was, he would’ve complimented me—for real this time. I
had the satisfaction of seeing him come to the realisation.
“So, you’re telling me—”
I ran a hand over the files. “These files contain every
single one of Coach Ford’s plans, his line combinations, his
lists of each player’s strengths and weaknesses, and many
more.” I leaned closer. “Only, I didn’t ask him a thing. I
absorbed what I witnessed at the games. A good sports
agent needs to negotiate contracts and endorsement deals
to maximise value for their clients. And to do this, you must
know your clients like the back of your hand.”
And I knew all twenty players of the USC ice hockey
team. That information was immortalised in my files.
Benson sent me what was supposed to be an appreciative
smile.
“Miss Taylor, you have no idea how much you’ve helped
us.”
 Smirking, I crossed my arms. “Oh, believe me, I know.”
He scowled at my words and my smirk grew into a grin.
“But we’re on the same team. Do what you want with my
notes, study them and learn everything you can about the
team that’s now trusting you to lead them to victory.”
“And what will you do?”
“What you hired me to do—marketing, event planning,” I
answered easily before continuing. “People tend to
underestimate the role this plays in the cup.”
Benson nodded, seeing where I was going. “So if we
have enough wins against UCLA and pair that with the
points gained from events—we could beat them by a
landslide.” I clapped condescendingly, but his smile didn’t
waver. “You know your stuff, Miss Taylor.”
My lips twitched. “It’s my job.”
He shook my hand in his rough one before asking,
“What do you think, Hunt?” Benson’s head twisted and I
had to hide my surprise at seeing Beckham seated on the
couch in the office’s corner. I hadn’t noticed him when I’d
walked in, too focused on Benson. “Did she pass the test?”
Beckham’s stormy gaze met mine, flicking momentarily
to the cut at the corner of my mouth before his jaw
clenched. I hadn’t seen him since the party on Saturday. My
pride wouldn’t allow me to face him. It disgusted me. He
believed I’d slept with Nate for money. I knew his opinion
of me was low, but that was an all-new low.
The edge of his lip tilted. “With flying colours.”
Crossing my arms, I stood taller, although it did nothing.
“Thank you for the seal of approval I didn’t need.” Shifting
my attention back to Benson, I inquired, “So, what are we
starting with?”
“You have any of Ford’s training programs in here?” He
gestured to my files and I nodded. “I think the first line
should work out, I’ll take the rest to the ice.”
There were twenty active players on the team,
consisting of twelve forwards, six defencemen and two
goalies. Only six of them went onto the ice during a game;
three forwards, two defensemen and one goalie. This was
known as the first team or first line, the one that got the
most ice time.
I clasped my hand together. “I’ll take the first team.”
After I’d handed Benson all of my notes, I considered
that part of my job done. I’d given him all the resources he
needed to make the most of his new team and all I had to
do was focus on the marketing and events aspect of things.
But I changed my mind at the last minute; for one reason.
And that reason suddenly stood to his full height, glaring
at me. “You’ll what?”
I rolled my eyes. “I won’t repeat myself when you’ve
heard me. Wastes valuable time, bro.”
Beckham growled, trying to get the attention of Benson.
“Are you seriously going to let her train us? As the captain,
shouldn’t that responsibility fall to me?”
Benson carefully placed the files in his draw, probably
planning on coming back to them later to study. Even
though I didn’t necessarily like him, I was glad that I could
help with his part of the job.
“Hunt, if you’ve forgotten, you’re part of that first team.
She won’t train you, she’ll oversee the training. I can’t
exactly be in two places at once.”
And thank the Lord for that. Two Coach Bensons would
be a nightmare. I could barely stand the one.
Realisation dawned on Beckham like a kick to the head.
He glowered at me and I grinned in return, angering him
further. “You’re doing this just to annoy me. Tell me, are
you that desperate for attention?”
Lips curving, I retaliated, “Tell me, does female
authority scare you that much?” Benson snorted, probably
glad that somebody else was at the receiving end of my
taunting. “Go get your boys and meet in the locker room.”
He didn’t move from his spot until Benson snapped at
him. I watched him leave with a smile.
 “Good luck.” Benson nodded at me.
Picking up my gym bag, I waved at him. “You’re going to
need it more.” I left his office, going to the public
bathrooms that were used when games were held at the
rink.
I discarded my jeans and sweater, replacing them with
spandex shorts and a sports bra. My outfit was important, a
tactic I needed to see if my plan on Saturday had worked.
Grabbing a hair tie, I pulled my hair into a bun to keep it
out of the way. I wasn’t initially planning on training with
the guys. But I knew that they’d find some sort of loophole
by saying that girls liked to boss them around without
doing anything for themselves—which was why I was going
to do every exercise with them.
Back in middle school, we all had that gym coach who
never got off their ass but kept calling us lazy, making us
run laps. I hated that coach because he had no idea what
we were going through as he just sat there eating. So I
could relate to Beckham’s boys. They’d be more than
willing to listen to me if I was working with them and not
just barking orders. The only downside was the makeup I
wore that I’d no doubt sweat off and reveal the bruise on
my cheek. But I’d cross that bridge once I got there.
Passing Benson’s office, I noted the door was closed, but
I could hear the chatter. He probably had the other groups
in there with him and was discussing his plans for them.
Like a proper damn coach. My lips quirked.
When I arrived at the locker room, I found five scowling
men. And I nearly burst into laughter. The only one who
wasn’t glaring at me was Grayson. I hadn’t seen him since
the party at their place. The house was shared between
him, Sebastian and Beckham. Grayson was the friendliest
of the three. It was weird. Nobody could be that friendly.
The locker room stank of sweat and there were clothes
everywhere. If you got past the smell of sweat, you were
blasted with an obnoxious amount of cologne. Skates were
lined up against one wall and some jerseys belonging to
past players were framed.
One had the last name Hunt; Beckham’s dad.
“Well, aren’t you all just adorable,” I mused, tossing my
bag onto the floor and placing my hands on my hips. “Up
and at ‘em! Ten laps around the rink.” Nobody moved,
staring at me with incredulity.
“I thought you were joking,” Jai muttered to Beckham,
running a hand through his inky hair. Beckham said
nothing, standing with crossed arms and staring at me. His
turbulent eyes dragged across my outfit before he looked
away. “She can’t coach us.” He turned to me, appreciation
in his eyes. “But maybe she can be motivation.”
I hummed to myself, scanning him from head to toe.
Jairaj Mahajan; USC’s very own star. Except, he wasn’t
famous, at least, not outside of campus. As the resident
fuckboy, he was used to girls falling into his lap—which was
probably why he was staring at me like that. As if I was a
piece of meat being dangled in front of a dog. I nearly
scoffed at his audacity.
Grayson glared at him. “Jai, don’t”
No, please, Jai. Go ahead.
Involuntarily, a smile grew on my lips, tugging harshly at
the cut there. I realised Jai hadn’t been at the party on
Saturday. If he’d attended, then he wouldn’t have dared to
speak to me the way he was. But now I had to deal with
him my way. Fortunately, he didn’t listen to Grayson,
standing up from the metal bench and swaggering over to
me.
I didn’t move. “Laps, now,” I stated firmly.
He shook his head. “Sweetheart, the only lap you need
to concern yourself with is mine. You can sit on it while—
holy mother of fuck!” He yelled further obscenities in what
sounded like Hindi, bending over in pain as I held his right
index finger in my hand, twisting it. Howls of pain left his
lips. “You fucking psycho!” He dropped to his knees and I
leaned forward, dropping his hand.
Beckham watched me, irritation flickering in his eyes.
“Did you just break his finger?”
“Sprained it.” I rolled my eyes, spotting Oliver laughing
to himself at Jai’s pain. “Try rice, bro.”
Jai looked up at me. His anger grew when some of his
teammates laughed at him. “You want me to put my finger
in rice?”
“Get up,” I scoffed, seeing as he was still kneeling in
front of me. “As much as I love guys going down on me, this
isn’t it. And no, you can’t put it in rice. Unless your finger is
an electronic contraption?” Jai glowered at me, standing
up. I spoke slower this time. “Rest. Ice. Compress.
Elevate.”
People managed to forget one of my courses last year
was sports medicine and injuries. I could break every bone
in his body whilst naming it and explaining how it needed
to be healed.
Jai cradled his hand to his chest. “Fuck you.”
I smiled. “Cute.” Turning to Grayson, the only one I
knew would listen to me, I said, “Go get Aiden. He’ll be our
first line right-winger for the two weeks it takes for Jai’s
poor finger to heal.”
Grayson nodded. “Yes, Ma’am.” He dragged a swearing
Jai out of the locker room. I turned back to the remaining
four men and wrinkled my nose. Sebastian was smirking as
he got up, leaving the room to run laps. Jasper stood up
next, a delighted laugh escaping him, followed by Oliver
and leaving me alone with Beckham.
I thought of Annie’s words this morning whilst I was
getting dressed. She’d told me to assert dominance. It was
hilarious coming from somebody as soft-hearted as her, but
her advice did the trick.
The asshole interrupted my thoughts with his voice.
“You can’t just sprain my player’s finger, Taylor.” He didn’t
sound angry. If I squinted, I could detect a hint of
amusement.
“He was annoying me.” I shrugged, noting the clean
smell he carried as he stepped closer.
For a moment, I was taken back in time. It was my first
year of college and my first time attending an ice hockey
game. I’d stayed behind, wanting to talk to Coach Ford
about shadowing him. The celebrations were usually held
in the locker room. However, all of his boys were crammed
into his office with him and I’d figured it out once I found
the locker room empty.
Empty, except one. It was the second time I’d laid eyes
on Beckham Hunt. He was smiling at me. “First game,
Tinkerbell?” His words were teasing, even though I’d
watched him get bulldozed on the ice.
“Considering how you just played, I should be asking
you that, Annika.”
I’d given him a nickname of my own, one I hadn’t been
able to explain to him yet. Standing in the locker room with
him brought me back to the moment we’d first spoken. So
much had changed since then.
“And you sprain fingers when you’re annoyed?”
Beckham’s voice brought me back to the present.
Ah, I’d almost forgotten that we hated each other.
I shook my head, scanning him just like he did me at the
party before he’d delivered that stinging blow. “No. I sprain
appendages.” My gaze stayed on the front of his
sweatpants and I tilted my head. “Want me to try it out on
you?” Surprisingly, he chuckled, trailing me as I left the
locker room, heading to the ice. I could feel his gaze on me.
“Stop staring at my ass—”
“Says the girl currently talking about my dick,”
Beckham cut me off, easily catching up to me because of
his long legs. I didn’t respond, smiling to myself when
seeing Jai sitting on the bench with a first aid kit next to
him, hastily trying to wrap his finger. “And you wonder why
I think you’re a sociopath.”
“Huh?”
Beckham wasn’t looking at me when he spoke again.
“You sprained his finger. The guy’s in pain and you’re
smiling. Sociopath.”
I watched Grayson and Aiden join the other three for
laps. “Just because I enjoy watching vile men suffer, doesn’t
mean I’m a sociopath.” His mouth quirked. “Go run laps,” I
demanded, sick of his presence next to me. The arguing felt
way too similar to the banter I was used to with him and I
didn’t want any reminders of it.
Benson walked past with the thirteen other players and
their eyes strayed to me as they passed. But they looked
away immediately when they saw who I was standing with.
They skated onto the ice, following orders—unlike the man
next to me.
And that was the problem. He was still next to me and
not running laps. “And you’re still here because?”
Overlooking my question, he sought, “What happened to
your lip?” The concern in his voice was obvious.
I knew he’d ask me, eventually. The ass was always
shoving his nose where it didn’t belong. “Nailea got a little
too rough last night,” I shot back. “Laps.” He stood there
for a second, trying to determine if I was telling the truth
or not. “Is there a reason why you’re still here—"
“I wanted to apologise,” he muttered, not looking at me
but rather at the ice. There was a tense silence as I let his
words sink in. There was no way he was apologising.
No fucking way.
I blinked in confusion. “Did you hit your head?” When
his lips quirked upwards in amusement, my brows
furrowed. He was smiling at me. “My God, you hit your
head.” My heart started rattling inside my chest when he
let out a small laugh, causing me to panic. “What’s going
on with you, you absolute freak?”
 Beckham only chuckled and I wanted to die. I hated not
knowing what was going on. “I’m apologising for what I
said at the party,” he said smoothly, like he was speaking to
a child and enjoying unravelling my control like a ball of
yarn. What made it worse was that he wasn’t even looking
at me, no, he was watching his teammates and talking to
me as if we were best friends that had a small spat.
Without thinking, I gripped his arm and tugged him so
that he was facing me. “Are you high right now?” I
whispered, checking his eyes for any hint of red.
He leaned down with a smirk, nose nearly brushing
mine. “No. Are you?”
“No. But I am wondering why you’re apologising to me.
You have a motive or something?” I asked with an elevated
brow, trying to figure out if this conversation had a
purpose.
Beckham grinned. “You saying you don’t want me to
apologise?”
I snorted. “I’m sorry if I gave you the impression that I
care what you think—”
“You seemed to care the moment I said it,” he spoke
over me and I wanted to scream at the fact that he’d
caught that split second of weakness.
“Well, then I guess the wind blew away all of my fucks
on the walk over to the rink, fortunately for us all,” I shot
back, tilting my head to the side as he stared down at me.
I nearly thought I had the final say when he spoke again,
eyes trained on the cut by my mouth. “Who hurt you?”
My jaw dropped at his straightforward question, pulling
at the cut that had his attention. Fumbling for words, I
ended up saying, “Did you apologise so that you could fish
for information?”
Brief disappointment churned in my stomach but soon
turned into satisfaction at the fact that I could turn the
situation on him.
 He looked over my shoulder before glancing back at me,
lowering his voice to a whisper. “I apologised because I felt
bad,” he said firmly, his tone making me question my entire
existence. “Hurting women is not part of my hobbies,
despite my treatment of you and what you think of me,
Nyx.”
“Go run laps,” I blurted, but he didn’t move. My tongue
felt heavy, no words forming in my throat. There was
genuine concern in his eyes, and I didn’t know what to do
with that information. In the end, I swallowed roughly and
said, “Nobody hurt me.”
Beckham looked at me a moment longer. “For his sake,
you better be telling the truth.”
Then he did as I asked him, surprisingly. Watching him
walk away, I felt my heart rate pick up speed. I usually
controlled how our conversations went, and I did it as a
way to protect myself. That was the first time in so long
that I’d relinquished control and let the conversation stray
where he wanted it to, albeit unwillingly. I didn’t like it one
bit.
Biting my lip, I scanned my surroundings. Jai was still
struggling with his finger and rummaging through the kit.
Sociopath. Beckham’s words affected me more than they
should’ve after our conversation. And I hated it.
He was an asshole who stuck his busybody ass into
situations where he didn’t belong and came to inaccurate
conclusions. He only ever looked at me to judge, it’s what
he always did. Yet, even I had to admit that I may have
taken it a little too far. I tried to justify myself by saying
that Jai was disrespectful. Even so, guilt developed in my
chest. There were other ways to discipline somebody; the
cut by my mouth said enough. My eyes stung.
With a sigh, I sauntered towards Jai and he looked up
when he heard my footsteps. He didn’t look too happy. I sat
next to him, taking the tape out of the kit and grabbing his
right hand. His features twisted into an expression of
confusion as I taped his index and middle fingers together.
After I was done, I made a sling out of a bandage and
enclosed it around his wrist before securing it around his
neck.
“Rest; limit the use of this finger for a few days,” I began
gently, keeping my voice resolute. “Ice; apply ice for no
longer than fifteen minutes. Compress; that’s what the
buddy tape is for.” I gestured to his taped fingers. “Elevate;
keep finger raised at a level above the heart. That’s what
the sling is for.”
I stood up again, ready to run my own set of laps, but
Jai’s voice stopped me. “Thank you. And I’m sorry.” Judging
by his embarrassed frown, it took a lot for him to say that.
“I’m sorry too,” I responded with genuine guilt. He
offered me a smile and I backtracked. Twisting around, I
spotted Beckham leaning in front of us, done with his laps.
He eyed Jai’s taped fingers before looking back at me. I
didn’t like what I saw in his eyes, didn’t like that he’d
witnessed me going soft. It was a side I hid well, only
exposing it when I was with my family. And I didn’t want
Beckham anywhere close to that, especially after our most
recent conversation.

OceanofPDF.com
I was running late for practice today, courtesy of
Professor Martin, who’d held back the entire class. It
wasn’t my fault that some students didn’t hand in their
assignments, yet everybody was punished. It pissed me off
because that was such a high school teacher move to pull.
I had to bite my tongue to prevent myself from voicing
my thoughts. If I’d spoken back, then I’d be sent to Dean
Waverly’s office, which would’ve wasted even more time.
So I shut up. Listening to Professor Martin speak about the
principles of quantum mechanics could be interesting—
when I didn’t have somewhere to be.
The team was probably halfway through practice by
now, and I was still stuck in class. Benson would let it slide,
but it was Nyx who’d be up my ass about arriving late. I
was still stumped on what exactly her plan was at the party
and I promised myself I’d figure it out. Then there was the
case of her cut lip. She stayed on my mind throughout the
rest of class, until I climbed in my car and drove to the rink.
There were only five minutes left of practice. Grabbing my
gym bag, I left my car and headed to the entrance.
 There wasn’t anybody on the ice and I groaned, knowing
that I’d missed quite a deal of training. Some players were
on the benches, ready to leave and joking around. I walked
past the locker room, wanting to speak to Benson first and
apologise for missing practice. As captain, I needed to set a
good example.
That meant not missing fucking practice.
“How’s the finger?”
I halted when hearing Jasper’s voice. He was leaning
against the wall, watching as Jai fidgeted with his taped
fingers. The two hadn’t spotted me as a corner hid me from
their view. I stayed silent, wanting to hear if Jai was in any
pain. For fear of disappointing me, they were never really
honest about minor injuries.
That was Nate’s doing. He’d expected perfection from
every member, although he was heavily flawed. I
remembered the lectures, him breaking down our
confidence and trying to force us into mindless members of
his team. I remembered the gaslighting, him making us feel
as if we imagined the chokehold he had us all in.
Jai laughed to himself, sending Jasper a pinched look as
he flexed his right hand. “It’s already getting better.” The
playboy wasn’t moist with sweat like Jasper, making me
conclude he hadn’t joined practice. “Hurt like a bitch at
that moment, though. Thought my fucking finger was
detached from my hand.”
Satisfied that my player was okay, I turned on my heel,
continuing my journey to Benson. Jasper snorted. “Can’t
blame anyone but yourself. Although, I’m surprised it
wasn’t Beck who broke your damn finger.”
There was a hint of scolding in his tone and I stopped
again, backtracking. I’d never intentionally hurt my players
and I was ready to make my presence known and question
Jasper about what the fuck he was implying.
But Jai spoke for me, confusion apparent in his words.
“What the hell does that mean?”
 “Fuck, I forgot you weren’t at the party,” Jasper
answered, slapping Jai on the back as he laughed at his
confusion. “She’s Beck’s girl, man.” At that point, Jai
could’ve been a mirror because our features were
scrunching the same way. “Something’s going on between
them again and I don’t think you wanna get yourself stuck
in an awkward place. They were all over each other on
Saturday, even disappeared to his room for a while.”
Realisation dawned on me and I shook my head, but I
couldn’t stop the grin that forced its way onto my mouth.
Images of Nyx dancing against me, wrapping her arms
around me flashed through my mind. She was smart, I’d
give her that. I pushed away from the wall, dead-set on
finding the minx to confront her. I’d had it all wrong. Nyx
had been at that party for a reason; to make a statement. I
was merely a pawn in her little game of chess. She had me
believe I was in control when in reality—it was her calling
the shots.
I found her standing with Grayson, explaining something
to him. The latter saw me approaching and smiled before
focusing back on the girl in front of him. Dropping my bag
on a bench, I slipped one arm around Nyx’s waist, pulling
her back to my chest. She made no sound of surprise.
Although she was standing next to the ice, she wasn’t cold.
Her skin was warm and had a red tint to it, like that of
sunburn. Just like yesterday, she’d probably joined in on the
training.
“Grayson,” I acknowledged the smiling man. “Mind if I
had a word with my girl for a second?” His green eyes
darted between the two of us. I couldn’t see Nyx’s
expression, but judging by the amusement Grayson was
radiating, I knew she was scowling.
“She’s all yours.” He saluted.
“She sure is,” I mumbled, watching him walk away. As
stubborn as she was, Nyx didn’t turn around or even
acknowledge my presence. She just stood there, pretending
like I didn’t exist. My frustration grew and I leaned down,
murmuring, “Do you enjoy using people?” She scoffed.
“There was a method to your madness, after all, you little
sociopath.”
Like a damn genius, she’d killed two birds with one
stone. Not only did she put me on edge, and make me
paranoid about what her plans were—but she’d also
completed the task she’d set for herself. My irritation was
just a bonus point for her.
“I saw an opportunity and took it. It’s not my fault you’re
not the sharpest tool in the shed.” Finally, she twisted in my
hold. “Men can be disgusting. Just look at what happened
with Jai. He saw me as a piece of meat rather than an
authoritative figure here to help him.”
Her actions began weaving together, tied closely by her
words and I couldn’t blame her, not really, not when it was
obvious what she was doing.
“He wasn’t at the party,” I murmured in realisation. And
he hadn’t witnessed what happened between Nyx and me.
He saw a beautiful woman and went for it.
“Exactly, but the rest of your team was there. They
respect you enough to—”
“To not touch what’s mine,” I finished, nodding to myself
and looking down at her. “I get it.” I understood what she
was saying, but I didn’t like it. Sure, she pissed me off
beyond comprehension, but that didn’t mean I liked the
fact that she felt uneasy in a room full of men. Sighing, I let
go of her. “You know, you could’ve just asked me for help. I
would’ve spoken to them—”
“I don’t necessarily enjoy being painted as the damsel in
distress, Hunt. I solve my own problems,” Nyx interjected,
crossing her arms over her chest. “And don’t kid yourself,
you wouldn’t have helped me.”
I’d never felt more like an asshole than I did at that
moment. Because there was truth to her statement. No, I
wouldn’t have helped her. I was already angry about her
being recruited; I hated that it was her of all people so I
definitely wouldn’t have agreed to help her with anything.
And knowing her, she wouldn’t have specified what she
needed help with. She was too proud for that.
“Taylor,” but she was already walking away, ponytail
swishing behind her. And then she was gone.
It was almost as if she had the entire interaction
prepared, saying only what she’d planned to. I swore softly,
running a hand through my hair and debating if I should go
after her.
Deciding against it, I grabbed my bag and went to
Benson, apologising for missing practice but promising to
train on my own anyway. He looked annoyed with me, but I
wasn’t in the mood to argue with him. When I finished
changing, I jogged around the rink a few times to warm up.
After that, I sauntered into the gym. It was empty, but I
didn’t mind. There was something pinned against the wall
and I found a chart there. In neat handwriting was a
training program.
“She knows what she’s doing.” Sebastian’s voice sailed
into the gym as he appeared, still wearing his training
shorts. “All the plans, it’s the same as the ones Ford did
with us. Only, she made some minor adjustments, made
them better.”
Nyx must’ve made an impression on them today if
Sebastian was complimenting her. I didn’t respond, reading
the first thing on the list and moving to where crates were
stacked above each other, three feet high.
Plyometric training was annoying, but it was important.
Jumping made the muscles exert maximum force in brief
intervals and helped to increase power, after all, it was
what made us explosive on the ice. Taking in a deep breath,
I hopped onto the crate, holding the position for a second
before jumping down again. Repeating it ten times, I
followed the instructions and took a five-minute break.
 Sebastian took a seat on a bench and I noted he was
eating a bag of chips. “Trouble in paradise?” he taunted
and I scoffed, standing up to continue my next set of jumps.
The blonde laughed.
I didn’t want to think of Nyx. There was an
unexplainable feeling in my chest and I couldn’t name it. I’d
never felt less like a man before. Nyx may have detested
me and vice versa, but she was still a woman who felt
uneasy in the presence of twenty young men, hesitant
about helping them because she was panicked they’d leer
at her and tease her. Yet, she couldn’t ask me to help
because she knew I’d refuse, torment her. So she helped
herself.
With a heavy groan, I realised that the scorching
sensation inside me was self-loathing.
Taking my third break, I rubbed the sweat from my
forehead and stated, “You knew.”
It wasn’t a question.
“Obviously,” Sebastian scoffed, looking offended that I
hadn’t come to the realisation sooner. He was a people-
watcher, after all, but the rivalry was between Nyx and me.
Surely, I would’ve noticed something about her before him?
Understanding where my thoughts were headed, he
articulated again. “The first hint was that she showed up at
the party. That was just weird.”
I grunted in agreement, doing my last set of jumps. “I
thought Nate sent her.”
Chewing on another chip, Sebastian rolled his eyes.
“Why am I not surprised?” he queried rhetorically and I
glowered at him, trying to regulate my breathing. “Second
hint was the fucking fact that she was all over you. And she
wasn’t doing it to snoop, the giveaway was that she kept
making sure one of your team members was in sight. She
wanted us all to think you guys were back together—”
“She was drunk—”
 “She was scheming,” he pointed out. “But you’re so
caught up in your hatred for her you couldn’t see past it.
And she used that to her advantage. She was betting on
you being an asshole. And I don’t even need to ask whether
she taunted you with talk of Nate. Do you know why?
Because she probably did. Nothing like mentioning your
enemy to light a fire under your ass and make you forget
about everything else.”
Not in the mood for a conversation involving Nyx, I
ignored Sebastian and focused on finishing my workout. It
was just us and Benson left at the rink, everybody already
having left. They were probably getting ready to do
something fun. I couldn’t even rest. Once I got home, I had
a fucking assignment to do.
An hour must’ve passed before I spoke again. Guilt had
weighed me down ever since Saturday. And I couldn’t
refrain from asking, “Did you believe the rumour?”
Sebastian had dozed off on a foam mattress and his head
jerked when he heard my voice. “About Nate and Taylor.”
He knew what I was referring to, the disgusting side of
the rumour. With a heavy sigh, he responded, “Yes.” I
swallowed around the lump in my throat. He looked
ashamed of himself, that he’d thought so low of her,
someone who was now helping his team. “Did you?”
“No.” I could tell Sebastian knew the answer but asked
anyway. Out of everyone on the team, it was probably just
Grayson and me that didn’t believe the rumour when it had
first sprung up. “She was with me, wasn’t she?” I
questioned rhetorically and Sebastian frowned. It was also
what propelled me to apologise to her for what I’d said at
the party. “I trusted her.”
Sebastian found a comfortable position on the mattress
before he questioned, “Then why’d you go along with it?”
I shrugged. “How would you feel if your girl was
scheming with your enemy?”
“Like absolute fucking shit.”
 “Exactly,” I finished, feeling my chest tighten with guilt
at the fact that I’d pretended to believe the rumour. And I
couldn’t forget the effect it had on her either. Closing my
eyes, I sank onto the floor. It was a memory I often tried to
forget. Last year, close to the end of the spring quarter and
during final exams, I’d been looking for an empty classroom
to sit in and study.
But somebody had beat me to the abandoned art room I
ordinarily used. Muffled cries had been coming from inside.
When I’d peeked through the keyhole, I’d seen Nyx
crumpled on the ground, sobbing into her hand as she
spoke to whoever was on the other end of the phone. I
couldn’t be sure if it had been Nailea or somebody else,
because she’d never mentioned a name. All I knew was that
she’d been heartbroken that people believed she was
sleeping with Nate for money and that they were slut-
shaming her. I never spoke of that moment.
Because the next day, Nyx had been her robotic self
again, leaving no evidence of her previous tears. Even after
summer break, when she’d returned for her second year;
she’d shown no sign of weakness.
I snapped out of my daze when Benson wandered in, bag
over his shoulder and keys in his hand. He tossed them to
me and I caught them. “You leaving?”
He nodded, glancing momentarily at Sebastian. “Lock
up when you guys leave.” I placed the keys by my
sweatshirt. “You can keep those in case you ever wanna
train late. I’ve got another set.”
“Thanks, Coach,” I responded, wondering why he was
lingering at the entrance. Sebastian must’ve been thinking
the same thing because he scrunched his face in confusion.
“Anything else?”
Benson’s face suddenly went serious, mouth turning into
a thin line as his eyes glazed over in displeasure. “Yes,
there’s one more thing.” My brow curved. “I’d like for you
to behave professionally. As Captain, you’re supposed to be
setting an example.”
I stood up, feeling my earlier anger return. “What’s that
supposed to mean?” This just wasn’t my fucking day, was
it?
“Miss Taylor is officially part of the staff, is what I
mean,” he shot back, raspy voice growing louder and
Sebastian watched the two of us apprehensively. Benson
and I hadn’t gotten along when he first arrived, but I
thought we were improving. “That means you treat her like
part of the staff.”
It was obvious he’d learnt of what had happened with
Jai, but that wasn’t my fault so he had no right to be yelling
at me.
But his next words stopped me.
“So stop groping and touching her!”
My heart dropped to my stomach at the implication of
his words. “Excuse me?”
Benson crossed his beefy arms over his chest. “You
heard me. Do you think I didn’t see you earlier with your
arms around her? I’m old, not stupid, Hunt.”
Nyx was always the one touching me first, to taunt me.
There was never any meaning behind her touches, like at
the party. My hatred for her usually curbed any desire to
speak to or touch her. So I wondered what the fuck Coach
was talking about if Nyx was always willingly stepping into
my arms or teasing me.
But then I thought back to earlier; when I put my arms
around Nyx and she didn’t look too enthusiastic. She’d
fucking known Coach was watching. From his perspective,
he probably saw me making advances on a girl who wasn’t
interested. It was uncharacteristic of her because usually,
she’d resort to teasing.
Ready to explain to him it was a misunderstanding, I
opened my mouth. “Coach—”
 “You’ll stay away from her during training,” Benson cut
me off, tone leaving no room for argument. “I’ll be having a
meeting with the rest of the boys as well. Each one of you
will respect her. She may get on my nerves like hell, but
she’s still a girl dealing with a bunch of idiots, myself
included.” He glowered at Sebastian and me.
“Understand?”
Unable to say anything, we nodded. With one last glare,
he left. The moment he disappeared, Sebastian let out a
bark of laughter, clutching his abdomen as he fell back onto
the foam mattress.
For the first time, I realised why people refused to get
caught up in the web of Nyx Taylor. She made you think
you had control, made you think you could easily free
yourself from her web. But once you’re ensnared, like a
black widow spider, she bound you in silk, in soft touches,
before puncturing you with her fangs.
Just like her arachnid counterpart, she did all the work
herself whilst using those trapped in her web.
First, she’d solved the problem of the guys flirting with
her by making it seem as if she was with me. Second, not
only did she get revenge on me for what I’d said at the
party, but she’d also got me in trouble with Benson. Lastly,
she no longer had to pretend there was anything between
us to keep the guys away because she had Benson on my
case after he’d seen us earlier.
Nyx had solved all her problems by using the gullible
men around her. And she did so without even having to ask
them a thing.

OceanofPDF.com
“T he fight for the Crosstown Cup has officially
begun!” Benson’s voice boomed across the locker
room. I snickered because it had started in
November already, during the fall quarter. We were
probably the last sports division to join in, others having
won and lost matches already—as well as having hosted
some of their fundraisers.
“Well,” Benson added with an embarrassed grin when he
noticed my amusement, “it’s officially starting for us.” The
hockey boys had been given leave from classes today, just
because it was their first day of proper training. They
needed to get into the swing of things seeing as they were
delayed as fuck.
Twenty men sat before Benson, each one listening
intently. I leaned against the wall, eying everyone. They
were all serious, dead-set on winning this year to make up
for their last loss. I hadn’t necessarily had high hopes at
first, but after last week and watching Benson interacting
with his team, I’d decided they had a pretty good chance.
Benson had dropped his egotistical attitude slightly and
was constantly reading from the files I’d given him. The
boys were on their best behaviour around me and I knew it
was because Benson had spoken to them. Beckham hadn’t
spoken to me in the past week unless necessary—and I
wasn’t complaining. My only focus right now was helping
this team win. I owed it to the school because it was
because of this job that I could pay off my family’s debts
and perhaps finally make that big move.
The other day, still not believing my luck, I’d curiously
asked Benson why they chose me for the job. Many of the
other coaches had assistants that helped them with events,
but Coach Ford had done everything on his own. When he’d
left, I wondered why they didn’t just hire an assistant for
Benson. He’d said that it was one of my professors who had
recommended me to Dean Waverly. She’d argued that it
would be a waste to spend money on a stranger when they
had somebody perfectly worthy of the position on campus. I
was forever grateful for the school. Which was why I
needed to do my best.
“We have our first match on Sunday at our very own
rink,” Benson continued. A home game. It made it easier
for our supporters to surround us. “Dean Waverly informed
me there are three other matches this week, including the
volleyball, football and baseball teams taking place on
Wednesday, Thursday and Saturday, respectively.” He
turned to me. “Any word on their fundraisers?”
I nodded, feeling everyone’s eyes on me—except
Beckham’s. “The volleyball girls hosted a car wash last
week. The football team is hosting a karaoke night tonight,
and the baseball team has a drive-in movie night planned
for Friday,” I stated, reading from the mental list I’d made.
“With our first match on Sunday, I say we host our
fundraiser on Saturday, seeing as the baseball game is an
away game. Only some students will leave to support and
we’ll have everyone else here.”
Benson nodded. “Okay, there are ten points available to
win within our division. We need at least six and we have to
keep the matches going. Can’t let them accumulate points
so early on.”
“If we, by chance, win early on and there’s no need for
further matches,” I added, “Dean Waverly said the
fundraisers will continue, allowing us to stack up on the
points missed from the unneeded matches.”
In my opinion, it was a smart idea. If perhaps, one of the
teams took home the wins of the first six matches, they’d
win by a landslide and leave four points uselessly floating
around. That left it up for grabs when it came to events,
and I planned to snatch them regardless.
Benson thought about it for a second. His eyes found
mine, a wary look present there. “For now, let’s prepare for
ten matches in case it’s a difficult battle with us needing to
go until the tenth round. That means ten fundraisers,
Taylor. Can you handle it?”
“We have ten matches, Benson, which means being
prepared for ten matches. Can you handle it?” I shot back
and he released an amused chuckle.
The sound of shuffling feet met my ears and I watched
Benson lead the team towards the ice. I sat in the front row,
placing my backpack next to me as I took out my notepad.
Ten fundraisers was a lot. Dean Waverly had given me a
budget, as she did with the coaches of the other teams too.
The challenge was to throw amazing fundraisers, raise
money for charities, build hype for matches and ensure
everyone had a great time. I had my work cut out for me.
But I always loved a challenge.
With the first fundraiser only four days away, I needed to
hurry on my finalisations. The invitations were completed,
having been designed by myself and Poppy. I was hoping to
send it to every student and encourage them to bring
friends and family. I aimed my first fundraiser solely at
teenagers and young adults. I wanted to start with a bang,
making everybody excited for what was to come.
 Opening my laptop, given to me by the school courtesy
of my scholarship, I stared at the invitation with its gold
decorations and font. In large letters at the bottom stood
the names of five homeless shelters in the community that
the money would be going towards. It was attention-
grabbing because I wanted to people know that the hefty
sum they paid for a ticket was going to be put to good use.
Satisfied, I emailed the invitation to Nailea, knowing
she’d send it to every student and print out some physical
copies to give to random people. I glanced up from my
laptop, watching Beckham command his first line. He
looked more muscular than he usually did because of the
padding that he wore.
The uniform was in the official USC colours; cardinal
and gold. As captain, there was a letter “C” on Beckham’s
jersey. He was watching his teammates do some drills,
yelling out commands as Benson stood at the other end of
the rink, speaking to the other boys. It always ruffled me
how deep Beckham’s voice was. He wasn’t one to speak a
lot, except during training and it was like his voice took a
brief nap and had that rough edge to it whenever he
decided to use it, making him constantly sound like he’d
just woken up.
The same went for his physical appearance. The guy
needed minimal effort to look good. His hair was in its
usual messy state, some strands dangling in his eyes.
Beckham hadn’t spoken to me since last week when he’d
arrived late for practice. That day, I’d known Benson was
watching us, known that he saw Beckham’s arms around
me and I’d been counting on it. Which was why I hadn’t
teased him or flirted. All of my plans had been leading up to
that moment.
Beckham was right when he’d said I came to his party
with a motive. He’d just guessed wrong, thinking I was
there on behalf of Nate. I’d been there for myself. He may
have guessed wrong, but he was still right about the
motive. So, I didn’t get why he was upset. My laptop dinged
as Nailea’s response came through, stating that she’d send
the emails through tonight.
When I looked up again, Beckham was watching me. A
chill ran down my spine and it wasn’t because of the ice. All
traces of teasing and playfulness were gone from his
expression. His gaze was pure hostility. His ego must’ve
taken a beating when he’d realised I’d used him. Poor baby
probably thought I was still interested in him. I could never
be interested in somebody who thought me to be a slut. I
had standards and wouldn’t let him sit at his table, tossing
me crumbs. It also helped to get him off my back about my
dad having slapped me after that party when I’d arrived
home drunk. Beckham didn’t need to know anything.
He didn’t deserve to know anything.
The asshole didn’t break eye contact and I chose to look
away first, not because I was intimidated, but because the
rest of his team was gawking at us. I’d figured it was going
to be awkward, given our history together. They were
probably used to seeing their captain, previously an
alternative captain, all over me last year. Then there was
the split after the Crosstown Cup had ended last May. And
now we were back in each other’s spaces after eight
months of trying our best to avoid each other.
Forced proximity at its finest.
Or maybe that was a euphemism for entertainment to
everybody but the two of us.
Clearing my throat, I organised my plans for the rest of
the fundraisers. I made neat little folders containing invite
templates, the contact information of small businesses and
a list of charities in our community. After I was done with
that, I read over a few pages of the pdf version of my
sociology of sports textbook to prepare for the test in two
days. By the time I was done, it was only noon.
I was just reading through the money we still owed
Poppy’s physiotherapist when a hockey stick slammed onto
the ground next to me. My eyes trailed the black stick,
passing gloved hands before travelling up to meet
narrowed eyes. Beckham’s thick brows were scrunched, a
sign that he was annoyed. He looked slightly surprised that
I hadn’t flinched at the loud sound of the stick.
My heart had been scared worse before.
“Yes?” I drawled, trying to look past his humongous
form and seeing that the boys were leaving the ice,
waddling towards Benson’s office like penguins. I nearly
laughed.
Beckham didn’t look too happy about being the one sent
over to me. It was obvious by his expression and tone.
“Emergency meeting. Benson got a call.” The bright light of
my phone caught my attention and I saw five missed calls
from Annie. I hadn’t even realised that I’d put the device on
silent. “Let’s go.”
Just as I was about to respond to Annie that I’ll call her
back soon, a message came through from her. And my
blood ran cold. It’s Indigo. My bones felt like rusted metal,
creaking as I reached for the device.
“Go on without me,” I told Beckham, clicking on Annie’s
contact details and waving him away.
He looked pissed off, ready to argue, but I was already
walking away, leaving all my things on the bench. The
sound of the ringing was like a ticking bomb. There was a
lump the size of a tennis ball in my throat. I knew this day
would come eventually, but no matter how much I prepared
myself, I knew I’d never be ready. I stupidly hoped that
Annie and I would’ve had things under control before this
happened.
Stupid, silly, naïve me.
Annie picked up after a few seconds and I slipped into
the janitor’s closet. The lump in my throat made it difficult
to speak and I could feel the pace of my breathing increase
to the point where it felt like I was running a marathon
with little hydration in the blazing heat of the sun.
 “Nyxie,” my older sister choked out. I could hear cries in
the background, the sound like shards of glass stabbing
holes all over my body, all my strength seeping out like a
crimson liquid. “I— what— I don’t know what to do or say
to her— fuck— I can’t do this—”
“Annie.” I kept my tone steady, gentle. She was beating
herself up about this, just like when it had happened with
Poppy. Annie was somebody who couldn’t stand to see
anyone hurt. If you cried, you could bet she’d cry with you.
Because of her big heart, it was difficult for her to be the
tough one, to speak words of comfort because she’d be
feeling half, if not all, of your pain. “What happened?”
There were sniffles and I sat down on a crate. Annie
took in a deep breath. “He wasn’t supposed to be home, but
he needed a change of clothes and Indie didn’t go to school
today because she was sick—”
I closed my eyes, realising that they both were in a
rough spot. He hadn’t expected anybody to be home. Annie
was supposed to be at work, and the rest of us at school,
but Indigo had woken with a cold this morning and Annie
had taken the day off. That meant no money paid to her
that day and Indigo missed out on schoolwork. He
definitely wouldn’t be happy about that.
“Did he pick a fight with you?” I urged, voice weak with
exhaustion.
Annie hiccupped. “Yes, but nothing I couldn’t handle.
The thing is, I gave Indie some medicine, so she was fast
asleep in her room. He didn’t know she was there.
Everything was going fine until he started yelling at me—”
I groaned. He rarely hit Annie, but he always went after
her with his words. It was one of the reasons she was so
soft-spoken, almost afraid of the world. It was why she’d
reacted so strongly to Donovan. “Annie—”
“I nodded obediently and took the verbal beatings. All he
had to do was take his clothes and leave.” She subdued a
whimper, voice pitching higher as she broke down. “But
then Indie came out of the room.” I pressed a hand to my
head, feeling a migraine coming on. “She tried to stand up
for me, said I was only at home to care for her and it wasn’t
my fault.”
That sounded like Indigo. My mouth had landed me in
hot spots more times than I could count. I could fully admit
that I never knew when to shut up. Indigo was exactly like
me. And she would pay the price that I constantly did.
The knot in my throat grew bigger. I could scarcely
speak. “Where?” The million-dollar question that I never
thought I’d propose regarding Indigo. The silence was
tense. When I tasted something salty, I realised I was
silently crying.
Annie was mute for a beat, perceiving how much this
question meant. “Butt and back,” she uttered.
Part of me was relieved that it wasn’t in a conspicuous
area. He was more careless with me, as seen by the bruise
and cut I’d sported last week.
Other people would argue that spanking kids to
discipline them was normal. Other people would call me
dramatic, but they didn’t live with us. My nose was burning
and I rubbed a hand over it. Annie knew what I was going
to ask next. It was a routine since we were little girls.
Starting with us and moving down to Poppy. And now
Indigo.
“Hand,” I paused, a sob clawing up my swollen throat,
“or wooden spoon?”
Her response was like a knife being plunged into the
beating organ in my chest. The only reason that organ was
beating was because of the three girls that shared my
blood.
In a small voice, Annie countered, “Wooden spoon.”
The air left my lungs and I sagged back against the wall,
uncaring that the crate was hurting my ass. If anything, I
wanted the pain. I wanted to feel what Indigo was feeling.
Matthew Taylor didn’t spank, that was the first thing that
needed to be pointed out.
He beat.
“Put her on the phone,” I managed to speak through my
awkward breathing.
I could hear Annie walking to Indigo’s room. The closer
she got, the rowdier the cries in the background became.
Another noise reached my ears and I pulled the phone away
momentarily. Shouts were coming from outside the janitor’s
closet and I wondered if the boys were arguing. I could
deal with that shit later.
“Nyxie?” a shaky voice piped up and I pressed the phone
back to my ear.
“Indie,” I muttered, feeling fury build inside me at the
defeat in her voice. She began crying the moment I said her
name. I never wanted her to cry again. I wanted that sassy
smile on her face, the bright glow in her warm eyes. Annie
and Indigo had the same eyes, but Annie’s had lost their
glow a long time ago and I wasn’t going to let that happen
to Indigo.
Indigo hiccupped violently, emphasising how long she’d
been crying. The guilt pushed down on my shoulders like
an invisible pressure. I felt like Atlas; the titan cursed to
carry the weight of the world on his shoulders. Except mine
was guilt.
“It hurts, Nyxie.”
Knowing just how bad it was to be beaten with a wooden
spoon, I could easily sympathise with her. It was her first
time. He must’ve lost his temper to lay a hand on her.
Hurting Indigo and Poppy was something he restrained
himself from doing, knowing that he could get in a shit load
of trouble for hurting kids. Annie and I were an entirely
different story. Two adults, willingly staying with him for
one reason only—our sisters.
“I know, sweetheart,” I whispered. I repeated the same
things I’d told Poppy when she was first hit by an enraged
Matthew Taylor, the same things I wished somebody had
told me. “Listen to me, Indie, you did nothing wrong—”
She stopped me, sounding petrified. “Daddy said I was
disrespectful. And I was, Nyxie! I told him I’m sorry. I’m
very sorry.” Her words collapsed into tears again. I could
hear Annie crying as well. The soft murmurs told me that
the latter had dragged Indigo into her arms. “Daddy said
naughty girls should be disciplined. I don’t wanna be
naughty.” I could barely grasp what she was saying through
the tears.
The same things he’d told us. It was manipulation at its
finest. It wasn’t Indigo’s fault. The fault was with him; a
cowardly man.
“Indie,” I pleaded over her cries, needing to drill some
words into her head. He could force his words into her
mind with just a few beatings, but I couldn’t do that. They
said actions spoke louder than words. Yet, for once, I hoped
it wasn’t like that. I hoped my words were discernible
through the pain she’d suffered. I hoped my words
slithered through the cracks that he’d made in her tough
armour. I hoped it injected itself into her bloodstream,
following the pathway to that beating organ. I hoped my
words replenished the love that he fought to take.
Not the love for him though. I couldn’t give a fuck if
Indigo ceased loving him for what he’d done.
I wanted to replenish the love she felt for herself. The
fresh fear that he’d instilled in her would mature into a
rage, but that rage wouldn’t be aimed at him. It would be
directed at herself, she’d feel undeserving of love because
some pathetic asshole had told her she was an
undisciplined little girl. I would know.
I felt that same rage towards myself every day.
“We love you just the way you are, Indie.” I cleaned my
tears, sitting straighter. I heard Annie mumble her
agreement. “Every girl is strong in her own way. Some are
silently strong, like Annie, and some are loud. You are loud,
Indie. Don’t be silenced by him, I’m begging you. You stood
up for Annie and I’m so damn proud of you.”
“But Daddy—”
I cut her off. “Men like him are gonna tell you things. It
doesn’t mean you have to listen. You know what happened
the first time I was beaten with that ugly spoon?”
Indigo sounded curious through her stuffy nose. “What?”
“I stared at it and I told myself that this is nothing but
an object. He used that to make me scared. Do you know
why? Because my words scared him. Your words scare him,
Indie. Don’t let anybody silence you. He’s a little bitch. I
mean, who even hits girls?” Striving to lighten the mood, I
added, “Say it, Indie. What is he?”
She giggled and I sighed in relief. “He’s a little bitch.”
The arguments grew louder and I wondered what the fuck
had the team so riled up.
“Exactly,” I told her, a smile growing on my lips, being
watered by Indigo’s innocent laughter. “Now, ask Annie to
run a hot bath for you later. I’ll leave early and pick up
some bubble bath on the way home, okay?”
“Okay. Bye, Nyxie.”
Annie took the phone from her. “Thanks, Nyx. I don’t
know how you do that.” I heard her tell Indigo to go get her
bathing suit, seeing as she liked to swim in the bathtub.
“Keep her away from him,” I suggested once I was sure
Indigo was out of hearing distance. “I don’t want her in
that position ever again. It’s not like he cares enough to
want to speak to them. Let’s just keep them both out of his
way. Accident my fucking ass,” I hissed in frustration, “I
don’t know how much longer I can put up with his shit,
Annie.”
She hummed in agreement, mumbling something to
Indigo before turning her attention back to me. “I’ve been
eyeing some apartments ever since you got that new
position. If we aim for the cheaper ones, we can be out of
his clutches sooner than expected.”
 I pondered her words, wondering whether we should
save up to afford a nice place or jump at the cheapest one
that opened up. “Once we have enough, we take the girls
and we’re gone, okay? Remember the plan?”
“Leave a note with a threat that if he ever comes to find
us, we’ll go to the police,” she murmured. Not that we
would go to the police, not until we both had stable jobs. If
we didn’t, we’d be found unfit to care for Indigo and Poppy.
“Good, I’ll—”
Annie cut me off. “But what about Mom?” Her question
was asked hesitantly, unsure how to approach the topic
with me.
My brows scrunched in obvious confusion, wondering
what she had to do with anything. “What about her?”
“What if she decides to return?” my sister continued,
only furthering my bewilderment. The last time we’d seen
her, she was addicted to cocaine and sleeping away the
hours. “She’s in rehab, Nyxie. We have to consider her
when it comes to our plan because knowing her, she’ll mess
it all up—”
My lips parted in surprise, jaw going slack at the
revelation. “What? Who told you she was in rehab?”
The door to the janitor’s closet flew open and I jolted to
my feet. Beckham stood there, rage emitting from him like
heat from a fire. It was obvious that he’d switched gears,
going from the captain to a predator who anticipated a
threat. His eyes were indifferent and that was a warning,
the same as a sword being drawn. He ambled inside,
closing the door and trapping the two of us inside.
“Annie, I’ll call you back,” I muttered, hanging up and
shoving my phone in my pocket, trying to overcome the
disorientation at my sister’s words. Beckham was furious.
I’d experienced his anger before. It was blazing, trailing
you like a dragon ready to incinerate and destroy, but this
was different. This was a fit of icy anger, making the
temperature in the closet drop. “Can I help you?”
 His figure was tense. The skates were gone, replaced
with socks, and his helmet was off, exposing the fluffy hair.
Venom dripped from his words.
“No. But you’re helping someone else, aren’t you?” I
didn’t react, not in the mood for his tantrum. I had a family
to get home to. “When were you going to tell us that Nate
now plays for the UCLA ice hockey team?”
I froze, the information like a bucket of ice water over
me. It felt like I was drowning; the water forming a burning
sensation in my lungs. For the second time, the same
surprised words escaped me. “What?”
No, no, no. That couldn’t be right. If Nate was on the
team it meant that all of my efforts had been for nothing,
all of the hurt had been for nothing—I got sued for fucking
nothing.
A sarcastic laugh trickled from Beckham’s throat and he
shook his head. “You’re good, Taylor, I’ll give you that.” He
stepped even closer, eyes momentarily flitting to the dried
tears on my face. “Tell me, were you going to feed him
information? Help his team win against us?”
I glowered at him, feeling a torrent of outrage surge
from deep within me. “How dare you, asshole? This is the
first time I’m hearing of this!”
If anything, I would’ve expected to hear the news from
Nate himself. We didn’t talk, but Nathan Wyatt wasn’t an
idiot. The moment he’d arrived at UCLA, he would’ve
figured out why I’d done what I did and he wouldn’t step
foot onto the ice again. Which was why Beckham’s words
made no sense.
He barely reacted. “Nice try. You probably thought you
could go on with this plan of yours for the whole year. But,
Benson has a friend who works at UCLA and he recognised
Nate on campus.” His eyes narrowed to slits. “You got
caught out.”
The accusations caused the pounding in my head to
intensify. I hadn’t heard from Nate since before he fucking
left the school but deep down, I knew that he wouldn’t ever
play hockey again. He fucking hated the sport.
“Did you hit your head or something? I have no idea
what you’re talking about.”
Beckham continued speaking, leaving no trace of the
guy that had apologised to me just the other day. “You’d go
against your school for him? But then again, wouldn’t
expect anything less from Nate’s submissive bitch.”
The words pierced my skin, but I fought to not blanch.
He’s hurt, I told myself. People say things they don’t mean
when they’re hurt, I tried comforting myself. Usually, I’d
fight fire with fire. But Beckham was all ice this time. His
words were cruel and calculated. He was aiming to hurt
me.
So I’d do the same because I was hurt too.
“I see you’re still jealous that I chose Nate over you.”
That stopped him in his tracks. Then his mouth twisted
into a sinister smirk, a chuckle escaping him. “Baby, I never
wanted you. I’ll admit, you had my attention for a good
time” he explained, running a hand through his hair. “The
thing is, you had Nate’s attention too. But here’s the
difference between him and me; I wouldn’t pay for
something I could get for free.”
I couldn’t help it. I flinched. My eyes stung and the lump
was still in my throat. I didn’t have a witty comeback. I
didn’t know what to say.
And it fuelled Beckham’s angry satisfaction.
“You don’t deserve an explanation from me,” I hissed
through clenched teeth. “You didn’t even ask for one. You
just labelled me as Nate’s slut. And whether it’s true or
not,” I continued, traitorous tears in my eyes, “it’s still
better than being labelled your girlfriend.”
His eyes flashed with anger but a begrudging laugh
escaped him. “Oh? And who says I even fucking wanted you
to be my girlfriend?” His words had an edge to them and I
felt it in my teeth.
 “I don’t know,” I spoke sarcastically. “Because I
remember you giving me your jersey. Or how about the
many times you’d ask me to stay after practice?” His jaw
was clenched now as I used his past actions against him.
“Let’s not forget my favourite, the time you called me in the
middle of a party that was thrown in your honour to wish
me a happy birthday.”
There was silence for a few seconds, too long because it
made my mind linger on the words I’d just uttered.
Beckham and I had an unspoken agreement that we’d
forget those six months when we teetered on the border
between friendship and something more.
After Nate, nothing was the same. But no matter how
much I detested Beckham, I couldn’t just forget about what
could’ve been, how much he’d helped me. I’d always
abhorred my birthday and his phone call had brightened
that day a little.
Beckham seemed to snap back to reality. “I remember
that day,” he mused. “It was the night I fucked Avery
Malcolm.” The pain must’ve shown on my face because his
amused expression faltered momentarily. I blinked quickly,
feeling a rebellious tear scramble down my cheek. The
anger that controlled him wavered. “Shit, wait—”
I pushed past him, opening the door and practically
scampering away. His hand was suddenly around my wrist
and I yanked it back as if his touch was fire, cradling my
wrist against my chest like an injured baby. The tenderness
in his eyes made me want to bawl.
“I hate you,” I declared, hearing the despair in my voice,
“I hate you. But I’m human enough to acknowledge the fact
that I liked you, Beckham.” He gulped and I took another
step back as a bland laugh left me. “And the height of those
feelings I had for you was probably on my birthday. So
thanks for ruining the one good memory I had of you.”
Beckham’s brows furrowed in distress. “Nyx, wait—”
 “Did Nate even tell you I was still in contact with him?” I
inquired as I tilted my head and wiped my face. “The team
didn’t mention me, did they? Not even Benson?” His jaw
clenched. I laughed incredulously, running a hand over my
face. “You just assumed that I had something to do with it
even after I told you Nate left this school and team in his
fucking past! And that includes me!”
“You’ve worked with him once before,” he retaliated in
defence, looking slightly defeated as he stepped closer,
gaze trained on the fresh tear tracks on my face as if he
couldn’t believe he was the reason for them.
“You’re pathetic. Pretending to care about some silly
little cut on my mouth as you claim to not hurt women.
Apparently, that doesn’t apply to me. Because based on all
of the insults you’ve flung my way since what happened
between us, it seems like I’m the golden exception.”
Beckham was quick to shake his head. “Don’t act as if
you’re some sort of angel—”
“I know I’m not an angel. I’ve been called a bitch more
times than I can count and there’s no counterargument
because I am a bitch,” I spoke over him. “But I aim to
tease, to get under your skin because your mere proximity
pisses me the fuck off.” I pointed a finger at him and
sneered, “You are the one that seems to take satisfaction in
playing a role in my hurt.” Swallowing my pride, I
continued, “And yes, I’m man enough to admit that some of
the things you say hurt me, Beckham, that I cry sometimes.
So how come you can’t admit that you were hurt by me
helping Nate instead of playing this stupid game of
thinking my every breath has something to do with him?”
My voice was burned out, completely dog-tired of the
back and forth. “You knew how Nate was treating us,” he
said in an equally tired voice.
I nodded slowly, taking note of his hunched shoulders,
and the vacant look in his eyes. I’d seen it in myself many
times before.
 “He emotionally abused you guys,” I said, watching
Beckham fight the urge to flinch. Nate constantly
threatened his team members and made them feel
inadequate, and anxious which resulted in over-compliance,
shame for not being able to do anything and guilt for not
living up to expectations.
“And yet you still helped him,” Beckham stated as if all
the answers were in that simple sentence, the reason for
every action and word.
“Despite your history with him, Nate cared about me,”
Beckham’s jaw clenched, “I helped a friend that wasn’t
willing to be helped,” I spoke slowly. “Anybody with eyes
could see Nate wasn’t going to win the captaincy, not with
his opponent being you. But I helped him because he was
alone. Knowing that he would lose I still helped him
because he needed at least one person to soothe that loss.
You chose to see it as a betrayal, all because you were
jealous; something you still can’t admit to.”
Still wanting to get the last say, Beckham spoke, “You
could’ve told me, you know?” We both knew that was a lie.
He never would’ve listened if I planned to help the guy he
hated. The outcome was always going to be the same. “You
could’ve told me instead of—or did you not trust me?” he
asked suddenly, looking somewhat pained.
There was no humour in my smirk. “Who did I lose my
virginity to?” His face dropped and he looked regretful, for
once, like he shouldn’t have stormed into the janitor’s
closet and blamed me for every little thing that went
wrong. “There’s my trust. Now tell me, where’s yours? I
suppose it’s somewhere between Avery Malcolm’s legs,
isn’t it? A rare treasure seemingly only visible on my
nineteenth birthday.”
Slipping past him, I collected my things. I ignored
Benson when he called for me, rushing out of the rink. It
took me a half-hour to walk from University Park (where
the campus was situated) to Skid Row; my neighbourhood.
There was also the extra ten minutes to pick up the bubble
bath for Indigo, but I needed the air. I was quiet when I got
home, not wanting to burden Annie with my problems.
Indigo was better, smiling the entire time as she was
surrounded by us. My dad didn’t come home and I was
thankful. There was no telling what I’d do in an act of
anger.
Indigo and Poppy took a bubble bath once the latter got
home from school. Later that night, I lay in bed, listening to
Annie’s soft snores. Beckham’s eyes wouldn’t leave my
mind, no matter how hard I pushed the image away. I saw
the anger there, the pain. I could sympathise slightly. His
team was like his family and he saw me as a threat, but
that didn’t give him the right to hurt me.
Nobody had the right to hurt me. Never again.
Just as I was about to doze off, my phone shone with a
new notification. I reached for it, seeing tons of missed
calls from Nailea. The earliest one was from a few hours
ago. With a disappointed groan, I realised my phone had
been on silent again. Making sure Annie was asleep, I
slipped out of our room and headed to the kitchen before
calling Nailea back. She answered on the first ring, as
always.
“Nyx,” she greeted. “You had me worried sick. I went to
pick you up at the rink and Benson said you walked home?
Estúpido. Weren’t you telling me just last week that some
guy was shot in the street next to yours?”
I gasped, completely forgetting that Nailea was going to
pick me up. I’d been so hasty to get home that I hadn’t
messaged her. “I’m so sorry, Nai. I should’ve called you to
let you know. I’m sorry if I wasted your time—”
“That’s not my point, Nyx,” she insisted, sounding
frustrated. “You walked home alone. Anything could’ve
happened to you.” I didn’t hold it against her, but people
from privileged neighbourhoods always thought the worst
of ours, believing that somebody was shot, kidnapped or
beaten every passing minute. I knew nothing would’ve
happened to me. The people in Skid Row knew each other
well.
“Nothing happened,” I assured her. “I’m home and I’m
safe—”
“Would you let me be worried for just a minute?” Nailea
interjected heatedly. “Don’t downplay what could’ve
happened. I’m glad you’re safe but please, don’t do that
again. If you need a ride somewhere, I’ll be there, Nyx. No
matter where I am, okay? Just call me.”
I didn’t know how to respond to her and I felt my nose
begin to burn. Regardless of her saying that I could call
her, I still felt like a burden. Nailea drove all the way from
her dorm on campus to my place so that I could get to class
every morning. If that wasn’t a burden, then I didn’t know
what was. Still, she constantly insisted that she didn’t
mind.
Angrily, I remembered my dad was the cause of this. He
was the cause of me struggling to accept that somebody
cared. Even as Nailea waited for my response, I couldn’t
figure out what to do. Should I thank her? Should I
apologise for making her stressed? The latter was
something I was leaning towards.
In the end, I chose to say, “Okay.”
She hummed. “I’m picking you up early tomorrow. Be
ready. Don’t do anything stupid again.” I smiled, promising
her that I’d stay safe until she saw me again. Then she
hung up, but not before blowing obnoxious kisses into the
speaker. I climbed back into bed, Nailea’s obvious affection
for me still shaking my soul. And for the next few minutes, I
whispered to myself that I deserved that affection.

OceanofPDF.com
“T o be honest, I think you’re an idiot.”
Those were not the words I wanted to hear,
especially from my mother of all people. She was
supposed to be on my side, to understand my dilemma.
Instead, she was tossing me frowns whilst she moved
around, grating chocolate and checking on the batch of
cookies in the oven. There was flour all over her apron and
dough stuck in the slowly greying brunette strands of her
hair. Merely looking at her brought comfort like no other,
and comfort was something I was desperately in need of.
So after practice, I dropped my things at my place before
driving to my childhood home.
My mom was in the middle of mixing cupcakes when I
entered, the radio blaring music as she danced around the
large kitchen. That was one of the things she’d begged for
when she married my dad—as she always reminded people
when they visited her. The kitchen was heaven for her and
she spent all of her time there so it was no surprise when I
found her head buried in a bowl of flour.
“Thanks for that, Mom, truly. It’s just what I needed to
hear,” I spoke sarcastically as I held the piping bag in my
hand, gently icing the cupcakes for my mom’s second-grade
class.
The woman in question stopped in front of the counter,
crossing her arms and tutting. I knew a lecture was
coming. “Are you telling me I raised you to be an asshole?”
The question was simple but simultaneously lethal. “Since
when do you insult girls you like—”
I groaned. “Mom—”
“No, you listen to me, young man,” she said, wagging a
dough-covered finger in my face as her hazel eyes flared
with disappointment. “I’ve heard you moan and groan
about that girl since the day you met her,” I felt my face
heat up, “I didn’t question you when your words of
admiration turned to words of hatred, no, I let you be
because your father believes in letting you figure things out
for yourself, no matter how much of a dumbass you are.”
Squeezing more icing onto the next cupcake, I muttered,
“Again, thanks.”
But my mom pretended like she didn’t hear my biting
rejoinder, furiously grating chocolate as she spoke. “All you
ever do is come home to complain about her, but let me ask
you, Beckham Rigel Hunt—”
I nearly swore in embarrassment. “Not the middle name
—”
“—What did you do?” she asked with an expectant look,
dropping the last piece of chocolate onto the counter. I
stayed silent, not knowing how to answer her question. She
already knew what I’d done, seeing as I came home and
told her about the altercation I’d had with Nyx in the
janitor’s closet. Her question made it obvious that she
expected me to think about what I’d done.
When I still didn’t speak, my mom continued. “You knew
Nate as a captain and only a captain. Judging by what you
told me, this Nyx knew him as a friend. Maybe he was
different with friends—and I’m not justifying the shit he put
your team through—I’m just saying that you have to look at
things from her perspective as well, why she helped him.”
I pondered on what she was saying, finding truth in
them and annoyance at myself for always jumping to
conclusions. It was on the tip of my tongue, to argue that
Nyx could’ve told me about it, but I knew it was useless. I
would’ve still gotten upset, unwilling to see things from her
perspective because of the person I knew Nate to be.
A groan left me and I ended up squeezing too much
icing, watching as it drowned the cupcake. “He left and still
manages to torment my life.”
My mom rolled her eyes, using her hand to wipe up the
excess sugary sweetness. “Only because you’re letting him.
And I agree with Bash about Nyx bringing up Nate because
she knows it’ll throw you off. And she probably knows this
because you are the one who tries to use him against her,”
she said softly, cleaning her hands before stepping forward
to cup my cheek. “It’s so like you to focus on the action and
not the reason; you’re like your father in that sense. You’re
thinking of the fact that she keeps allowing the mention of
Nate to build, whether you bring him up or her. But have
you ever thought about why?”
I grinned, trying not to be nauseated at myself. “Other
than to piss me off?” My mom jokingly slapped my cheek. I
shrugged, genuinely not knowing the answer.
“I’m gonna take a wild guess and assume that it’s
because she’s scared.” My brows furrowed at the thought
of Nyx being frightened of me, at the thought of that cut
she’d had, but my mom proceeded, probably sensing my
panic. “Not of you, but rather being hurt by you,” she
murmured, “again, might I add. If you stay mad at her for
helping Nate, there’s no way of you getting close enough to
break her heart. Again,” she added with narrowed eyes.
The oven dinged and my mom scurried to get her
cookies before they burnt. She laughed happily as the smell
of chocolate chips wafted through the air, eagerly grabbing
her phone to take pictures of it, no doubt to tease my dad
whilst he worked a long shift. I glanced away from her, my
entire body feeling heavy after our discussion. Coming to
visit her, I’d expected to be comforted, but maybe a good
lecture was what I needed.
Once five minutes had passed, I muttered, “You’ve never
even met her.” It was the truth. Nyx and I had never dated,
we’d never met each other’s families. It was her that had
held back and I let her because I knew she had her
reasons. But then the little flames between us had been
extinguished before they had a chance to flourish. Two
strangers trying to be more.
Hazel eyes twinkled with laughter. “I didn’t need to. I’ve
heard enough to visualise this entire relationship—if you
can even call it that, seeing as you’re too much of a coward
to ask her out,” she laughed at the pinched expression I
wore. “You boys need to stop underestimating me, I know a
lot more than you think.”
Elated that the topic was no longer a tense one that
suffocated me with guilt, I chuckled. “Yeah? Like what?”
“Like the fact that Gray’s been in love with our baby
River since they were kids,” she began teasingly and my
jaw dropped, mind going to the clumsy redhead that had
the misfortune of being Sebastian’s little sister.
Jaw still slack, I coughed out, “What?”
She raised a mocking eyebrow that still had flour on it.
“A mother always knows,” she said with utter confidence,
not hiding the fact that she considered herself Grayson’s
mother. “I know a lot of things, even when you all try to
hide it from me. Want to be impressed some more?”
I grabbed the bowl of grated chocolate and began
sprinkling it over the iced cupcakes. “Go for it.”
She hummed. “I also know that River returns his
affections.” I glanced at her, pulling a weird face at the
thought of the two of them together and my mom laughed.
“Take Beth even. She has nothing to be shy about but I
know she’s gay—” I froze, nearly dropping the glass bowl,
“—Beck! Careful with that.”
Slowly placing the bowl down, I turned to look at her.
“What did you just say?”
As shameless as she was, for once, Helen Hunt looked
embarrassed. “I know it’s not my place, she probably only
told a few of you that she trusts, but it’s rather obvious. Do
you know how much restraint it takes not to punch Vivian
Braswell in the tits every time I see her?” she rambled.
“Gosh, what kind of a mother forces her daughter to date
boys when—”
I zoned out, feeling a ringing sensation in my ears as my
mom went on and on about what a terrible mother Vivian
was. Part of me wanted to scold her for assuming
somebody’s sexuality, but I couldn’t get myself to do so. It
was probably because deep down I knew. Everything
suddenly clicked inside my head; why Vivian was so
deadest on the idea of me and Beth together, why she
controlled her daughter so much, why Beth had such a
deep love for—
“—River,” my mom was still speaking. “I always used to
wonder if it’ll be a little love triangle between them and
Grayson, but I guess when Vivian stopped allowing River to
come over on the basis that the Hayes’ were problematic,
Beth outgrew her crush. I think Bash knew she was
crushing on River at some point.”
“No wonder she’s always so awkward around him,” I
mumbled to myself. Sebastian had probably been the first
to know. He’d known for years and that terrified Beth
because she hadn’t told anybody yet. But I knew Sebastian.
He wouldn’t say a thing.
My mom’s eyes met mine, looking sheepish. “Please
don’t tell Beth that I know. I don’t want her to be
uncomfortable when she visits. And I adore her visits.”
It took a moment for me to find my voice. “I won’t.” She
smiled in relief as I stood up, having no idea that she’d just
caused me to have an existential crisis. Before I could leave
to get some fresh air, my mom called me back. “Yeah?” I
hoped she didn’t have another bomb to drop on me because
I was still reeling from the previous one.
“I know one more thing,” she began gently, popping a
piece of chocolate into her mouth. “I know you’re hiding
something big from me, something that’s got your insides
all twisted up because you don’t know what to do.”
She stared at me in the way that all mothers do. I
wondered whether my dad’s investigative skills had rubbed
off on her, and I didn’t know whether to love it or hate it.
Still a little woozy about the discovery of what Beth’s mom
was putting her through, I found myself admitting, “I think
somebody’s hurting Nyx.”
Once the sentence was out there, it felt like reality and
not just some silly assumption I had. My mom visibly
shuddered, gripping the counter and clearly not having
expected that admission.
“Well, then,” she murmured, “what you do next depends
on what kind of man I’ve raised you to be.”
I swallowed my guilt. “She’d never trust me. And I don’t
blame her either.”
My mom pursed her lips. “She trusted you once, didn’t
she? Before you let that green monster take over and
dictate your every move. You might not realise it, but that
same monster still influences you; that’s why you
supposedly hate her so much.”
“You know, she said something similar to me in the
janitor’s closet,” I muttered. She’d claimed I couldn’t admit
that I was jealous of Nate for having her on his side. “But
even if we hated each other or not, this isn’t something I
can overlook.” My mom wore a look of sympathy. “You can’t
tell Dad.”
As much as I trusted him, he was also a lieutenant at the
Los Angeles Police Department. If I even mentioned it to
him, he would feel obligated to do something. Nyx hadn’t
sought help yet, which told me she had a good reason to
endure whatever she was going through. Throwing her life
out of sorts by reporting anything would only make her
hate me more.
“I trust that you’ll do what’s right,” the words were
soothing. “You’re a good man, Beck. But even the most
perfect man would lose his mind when it comes to the
woman he lo—”
“Don’t even finish that sentence,” I cut her off, ignoring
her laughter. She just grinned at my annoyed look. “Now I
just have to figure out how to get the girl that hates me,” I
paused, groaning, “to trust me again.”

People always reminded us that it was a blessing to wake

up in the morning. Somewhere out there, somebody didn’t
get the chance to open their eyes. But, in all honesty, I
would choose a peaceful death in my sleep over waking up
to the sounds of grunts and moans. I turned over on the
small sofa, squeezing the pillow against my head to drown
out the sounds, but it was no use. Of all days Sebastian
decided to bring a girl home.
Thursdays were the worst, an unnecessary bridge
between the middle of the week and the weekend.
Sometimes I woke up on a Thursday fully expecting it to be
Friday—only to be heavily disappointed. This Thursday, in
particular, was even worse, considering that I could hear
Sebastian’s headboard banging mercilessly against the wall
that our rooms shared.
Maxine screeched his name like a banshee, uncaring
that he shared the house with two other people. Grayson
was probably trying to burrow into a hole and die there. I’d
planned to sleep in, seeing as morning classes were
cancelled so students and professors could go and support
our football team at the game against UCLA, but Sebastian
had put a major dent in my plans by deciding to make a
dent in the wall our rooms shared.
I sat up, groaning as my bones whined in pain; a side
effect of sleeping on a damn sofa all night, a sofa that was
too small. However, it was the gentlemanly thing to do
seeing as Melissa was laying in my bed, body wrapped in
my blankets. The latter was the twin sister to Maxine and
Sebastian had brought them both home last night.
However, he appeared to have a preference for the bustier
of the two, which had upset Melissa who’d then found her
way to my room in the middle of the night.
The girl had been drunk and begun undressing before
plopping onto my bed. I’d hopped out of it as if it was on
fire. She’d spent an hour crying about how people always
chose Maxine over her, even though they had the same
face. I’d held my tongue to keep from telling her it wasn’t
the face Sebastian was interested in. She didn’t deserve to
be let down even further.
After trying to make out with me, unsuccessfully, she’d
passed out, naked as the day she was born. My covers
needed to be washed, I reminded myself as I stood up,
stretching and yawning loudly. A loud shriek cracked
through the air, confirming that Maxine had orgasmed
wildly.
What a beautiful Thursday morning.
Sense the sarcasm. I halted next to my bed, covering
Melissa’s naked chest that must’ve exposed itself when
she’d tossed and turned. Once she was safely covered, I
ambled into my bathroom. The hot water was alleviation to
my aching joints and I wished I could stand there for
longer. Lathering some soap onto my body, I heard a loud
and impassioned yell. I recognised the voice as Sebastian’s
and he didn’t sound too cheerful. That was odd, knowing
the man just had a good fuck on this fine Thursday
morning. There was the slamming of doors and loud stomps
coming from the stairs.
“The fuck is going on,” I grumbled. Quickly rinsing
myself and stepping out of the shower, I grabbed a towel
and dried myself before wrapping it around my hips. When
I entered my room, I saw Melissa pushing up into a sitting
position, blankets swathed around her waist and exposing
her tits to the cold air.
Without a word, she stood up and entered my bathroom;
the door shutting behind her. Just as I was about to knock
and ask her to leave my room once she was done, my door
swung open and an annoyed figure strolled in.
Of course Nyx fucking Taylor would be at my house on a
Thursday morning and proceed to disturb everyone. We
weren’t on good terms at the moment. Well, there’d always
been something off between us for the last eight months—
but it was worse now, the hostility heightening after I’d
accused her of working with Nate.
And the height of those feelings I had for you was
probably on my birthday. So thanks for ruining the one
good memory I had of you.
I’d gone to bed with her words in my head. I didn’t
expect to feel that constricting sensation in my chest, but I
did. I supposed I deserved it, especially after what I’d said
to her. Nyx rarely showed any emotion, yet, I could still
hear it in her voice.
And the height of those feelings I had for you was
probably on my birthday.
I blamed the conversation with my mom. Because of her,
I was looking way too deeply into everything that was
happening around me, including any interaction with Nyx
and what I said. But the more I thought about it, the more
painful the feeling in my chest became—so I elected not to
think about it, not now at least.
For now, my main concern was that there was a very
good possibility that Nyx was being hurt by somebody. That
didn’t sit well with me at all, whether I hated her or not.
Nyx strolled in as if she owned the fucking place; as if
she hadn’t used our past against me the last time we’d
spoken. Her black jeans looked pasted onto her, the zipper
ending just beneath her belly button. A cropped white
sweater adorned her upper half. I smirked internally as I
watched her locate me, bright eyes narrowing and hands
going to rest on her hips.
“The fuck you doing here, Taylor?” I sought, feigning
indifference as I strode over to my dresser and felt her gaze
rake over me. “I don’t remember hiring a—”
She didn’t let me finish, holding up a hand to shush me.
“Okay, enough with your prostitute comments,” Nyx said,
her nose twitching in displeasure. “Yes, I get it. You think
people pay to fuck me.” I stayed silent, taking a pair of
boxers out of the drawer. “I’ll fuck your mom for free,
though,” she declared and I froze. “Your dad too. Maybe
your grandparents and friends as well. I’ll fuck everyone
for free. Except you. You can go fuck yourself, asshole.”
Unable to stop myself, I chuckled, although I didn’t look
at her and kept my gaze trained on the dresser. Without
turning around, I inquired, “What are you doing at my
house, Taylor?”
Although it was the second time now, it was eery having
her back here, knowing that back when she used to visit—
we’d been something else, something neither of us had had
the chance to label before everything went to shit.
It’s still better than being labelled your girlfriend.
Her words hurt me more than they should’ve; because I
was supposed to be over that shit and I was beginning to
think I’d never really gotten over it in the first place, just
suppressed it.
Nyx scoffed, the sound dripping with irritability. “Some
captain you are. I emailed you last night—”
“I hate checking my emails.”
 It was a lie, but I wanted to piss her off, regardless of my
plan of getting her to trust me. It seemed I had a long way
to go. I’d seen her email come through last night. Seeing
her name had made that weird feeling materialise again. I
hated it, so I hadn’t opened the damn email.
“I don’t give a fuck about what you hate doing,” Nyx
fired back as I slid my boxers on underneath my towel. “I
email you information that needs to be read. You will read
it and you will take note of things. I know you have no idea
how to read—”
An affronted grunt left me as I reeled around to face her.
“I fucking know how to read.”
Where she heard something as preposterous as that, I
had no idea. Her features contorted into one of gentle
surprise, plump lips parting and brows raising into a
delicate curve.
“Oh?” she jeered, crossing her arms over her chest.
“Well, then read between the lines, dumbass. I don’t give a
fuck about your hatred for me. What’s important here is the
damn team. You’d truly ignore important emails just
because you don’t like me?”
My jaw clenched and so did my fists. I never expected
Nyx to be somebody who’d take the high road. And I didn’t
need to be painted out as a poor captain.
“I don’t need a lecture, especially from you.” I tossed my
towel into the hamper, glowering at the blonde in front of
me. She didn’t look too happy. But, then again, she never
did around me, not for a long time.
“Would you prefer one from Dean Waverley? Because I
can make that happen once she finds out the boxes for
Saturday weren’t prepared because you were too much of
an idiot to open my emails.”
Slowly, I stalked towards her and she didn’t move an
inch. “Are you threatening me?”
“Why, does it turn you on?” Nyx mocked, eyes briefly
flitting to the tented front of my boxers. If she wasn’t
entertained before, she was now.
I rolled my eyes, taking another step. She still didn’t
move. “There’s this thing called morning wood. Don’t
flatter yourself, sweetheart.”
“There’s also this thing called a liar and I’m looking at
one right now,” she mused in a bored tone.
I hooked my fingers through the loops of her jeans and
yanked her to me. Satisfaction coursed through me at the
surprised yelp she let out. Few people managed to surprise
Nyx Taylor. Her hands came to rest on my bare shoulders
to stabilise herself.
“Tell me what your email said.”
The fire in her eyes died down slightly when she
apprehended I wasn’t going to quarrel with her. I wasn’t
stupid. There was only a certain amount of her bitchiness
one could handle.
Her lips pursed, drawing my gaze to them. “No. If you
were interested you would’ve read the fucking email.”
“Didn’t God rain kindness down on his people?” I urged,
aggravated at the fact that she wouldn’t tell me what the
email had said.
She shrugged. “I was standing under an umbrella that
day.”
My left hand detached itself from her loops and slid to
her bare lower back, pressing her against me. The smell of
strawberries invaded my senses.
“Nyx,” I grunted, frustration seeping from my words.
And it was the reaction she wanted. “Tell me.” If the email
was what had gotten her so angry then we could just sort it
out by her revealing its content to me.
She shifted her weight, brushing against my dick and
she smirked. “I’ll recite the entire thing from memory for
you,” she murmured with a charming grin. “If you pay
extra.”
My restraint snapping, I shifted her against the wall,
right hand finding her delicate throat and gently framing it,
careful not to startle her. “You think you’re funny?”
“I think I’m fucking hilarious,” she shot back with a
smile, blinking innocently. “You have my trauma to thank
for that.”
I dipped my head lower, unsure whether I wanted to
laugh or scream. Nyx knew exactly what buttons to push.
She was angry with me and came for payback, and boy, she
was getting it. I could hear the tiny breaths leaving her and
feel the air hitting my chest.
“Tell me what the email said,” I reiterated, hoping she’d
listen this time.
She smiled. “I don’t want to.”
My eyes narrowed, only amusing her further. I let a
small silence pass between us as I contemplated what to
do. She was definitely in control of this conversation, as
she’d probably planned. Perhaps I needed to throw her off
again, and it gave me the perfect opportunity to voice the
words I’d been restraining since the conversation with my
mom, words that had been grating my throat.
When Nyx raised a brow, I muttered, “You know, hurting
you is not something I take satisfaction in.” The fire in her
eyes died down, slowly being replaced by panic. “And I
have hurt you, so I don’t blame you for bitching on me all
the time, now included.”
She shifted on her feet. “Okay, Dr Phil. You done now?”
My mouth quirked. “I’m done once you agree to a
truce,” she scowled, “at least for the duration of the
Crosstown Cup. After all, we’re going to be seeing a lot of
each other.” The words left me before I could even rethink
them.
A truce sounded perfect. I wouldn’t hold what happened
with Nate against her and she wouldn’t go out of her way
to piss me off, to use our past against us. Being civil could
lead to helping her if she truly needed it, if somebody was
hurting her.
 “And what do I get out of this?” she taunted. “Free sex?
Wow, I can’t even remember the last time I had sex without
any money being involved.”
I scoffed at the fact that she wasn’t taking me seriously.
“Don’t fuck with me, Nyx. I’m serious.”
“Oh really?”
“Just listen to me—”
“I’d listen if you made sense for once,” she voiced, eyes
gleaming with delight.
I bottled the impulse to smile. “Nyx, please.”
Her teeth took hold of her lower lip before she muttered,
“I really do love it when men beg.” My eyes still hadn’t left
that lower lip, now red and slightly puffy after being held
captive by her teeth. A pink tongue slid over it. “Will you do
it again?”
Humouring the minx, I quipped, “Depends on if I’ll gain
your cooperation.”
All she had to do was agree to the truce. And she needed
to do it fast before I did something utterly foolish. I was on
the threshold of my restraint, and she knew it. There was
something off about her breathing as she peered up at me,
her games catching up to her. Mirth danced between the
blue flecks in her wide eyes. The minx always got a thrill
out of fucking with my mind. She always did. I waited
patiently for her voice to reach my ears, even dipped my
head lower; as if we were sharing a secret.
But it never came.
When I raised my gaze back to hers, I found her peeking
around my arm, eyes colder than ice. Letting go of her, I
turned around, seeing Melissa standing by the bathroom
door, wrapped in a towel and looking confused.
An uncomfortable feeling tugged in the centre of my
abdomen, multiplying and firing its siblings down my every
nerve. My blood felt thick with the sensation. Melissa was
eying the proximity between Nyx and me, eyes gleaming
with surprise. I’d forgotten about her completely, so caught
up in my banter with Nyx.
Nyx.
I twisted my head, scrutinising the blonde. The
sprightliness was gone. Her face was inscrutable as she
needled Melissa, “Didn’t I just kick you out of Sebastian’s
room?”
So that was the commotion I’d heard whilst in the
shower. Melissa tucked a wild strand of brown hair behind
her ear before responding in an awkward tone, “Um, that
was my sister. Maxine. I’m Melissa.”
Nyx swallowed roughly, stepping away from me. “Twins.
Cute.”
Melissa’s gaze darted between us. “So, Nyx Taylor,
right? We’re in the same journalism class—” The brunette
stopped speaking because Nyx straight up left the room.
She didn’t look back. “That was rude,” Melissa huffed,
looking at me. “But then again, that’s Nyx for you.”
I grabbed a pair of sweatpants and slipped them on,
wanting to hurry and find Nyx. We weren’t done talking
yet. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Everybody on campus knows she’s a bitch,” Melissa
replied. “Don’t even get me started on the rumours—”
“Get out,” I ordered, stepping towards my door. “When I
come back, I want your clothes and yourself gone.” I didn’t
stay to hear what she had to say next because I was already
rushing down the stairs.
Grayson was in the living room, surrounded by
cardboard boxes still sealed in plastic. He looked up when I
entered, busy cutting through the plastic seals with a knife.
“What’s happening?” I asked him.
He ripped open a box, pulling out bags of flour. When I
looked closer, I saw the logo of the local grocery store
plastered on each of the boxes.
“We need to make box sets,” he responded, pointing to
another corner of the room where there was a heap of
glittery black boxes.
“So we’re unboxing only to box again?” I inquired in
annoyance, not seeing the point. Grayson chuckled, moving
onto a fresh box that contained packs of instant jelly.
“The grocery store delivered these and we have to fill
those,” he pointed to the black boxes, “with a few of each.”
I pulled a face, still not understanding and he groaned in
mock vexation. “Didn’t you read the email Taylor sent?”
Guiltily, I scratched the back of my head. “I can’t
remember.”
“Fuck off,” he snickered. “We have to make box sets
filled with fruits, puddings, jams, and all that shit. It’s for
our fundraiser on Saturday. At the entrance, guests will
hand in a ticket that they paid for and in return, they’ll
receive one of these.” He gestured to an empty black box.
When I looked closer, I saw the team name there in a fancy
white font.
I was regretting not reading the email because I was
beyond lost. I didn’t even know what the fundraiser was
about or what I was supposed to do. Seeing my probably
constipated expression, Grayson snatched a white card
from the coffee table and handed it to me. It was an
invitation and very eye-catching.

Join the USC ice hockey team for a legendary dinner and
food fight, and don’t fret; the foods used in the fight are
those that have passed their sell-by date and were donated
by restaurants and stores. All proceeds will go to our
phenomenal community’s homeless shelters, listed below.
Prizes will be up for grabs as well.
Please note that each shelter has an amazing
programme to adopt a child for a day. This is a lovely time
to step up and take some children to the upcoming hockey
game against UCLA. Allow them to experience this fun
time. If wanting to do extra donations or to find out more
about the ‘adopt a child’ programme, contact Nyx Taylor to
be put in connection with the homeless shelter of your
choice.

Fight on, Trojans!

Once I was done reading, I glanced up and Grayson was

peering at me with a smirk. I could tell he was waiting for
me to praise Nyx. Being one of my housemates, Grayson
had fallen victim many times to one of my infamous rants
about her. I didn’t give him the satisfaction of letting him
know how good I thought her idea was.
But I knew he knew because he spoke again. “You
should see the community hall.” I raised a brow, placing the
card back onto the table. “That’s where the rest of the guys
are, setting up the place. Taylor got all the decorations,
dessert and food at a discount because she’s promoting
small businesses in the community.”
Eying the smile he wore as he unpacked more boxes, I
added, “You sound like her number one fan.”
Grayson’s green eyes crinkled at the sides with the force
of his smile. “Number one? Nah,” he shook his head, curls
swaying. “Probably number two. The top spot obviously
belongs to you.” I grimaced and he laughed louder.
“Where’s Sebastian?” I ignored his previous comment,
wanting to know where my blonde housemate was.
“Went to pick up the last of the boxes at the store.”
Grayson sounded amused. “You should’ve seen it, man.
Taylor kicked Maxine out of his room and told him to go to
the store like she asked him to or else she’d shave his hairy
ass while he slept.”
 “She’s a scary thing,” Maxine added as she entered the
room, wearing one of Sebastian’s shirts, and a glass of
apple juice in her hand. It was easy to tell the difference
between the twins. Maxine’s hair was longer and she had
bangs.
Grayson went back to unpacking and I smothered a
snort. He had no idea how to look Maxine in the eye after
listening to her moan all morning. She, however, had no
problem with sitting down on the couch as if she did this
every day. Deciding to annoy him, I left him alone with
Maxine and went to look for Nyx. I found her outside,
standing next to a car. Nailea was in the driver’s seat, eyes
closed.
Nyx was leaning against the passenger door, phone
pressed to her ear and a dimpled smile on her face. She
hung up with a quiet laugh and that’s when I moved closer.
I wore no shoes and no shirt, but I needed to speak to her.
About what? I didn’t know. Grayson had already filled me in
on the fundraiser. But something inside me pushed my feet
to move towards her. When she dragged her gaze from her
phone, she looked up to the second floor of the house.
Whatever she saw there made her smile drop.
“Taylor,” I called out, catching her attention.
Her glare made my feet stop their journey. She opened
the passenger door, startling a dozing-off Nailea. “I’ll be
back for the boxes,” she said in a flat tone before hopping
into the car. With that, Nailea started the car and then they
were off.
I sighed, running a hand over my face. Feeling eyes on
me, I shifted slightly, looking towards the window of my
room. And there stood Melissa, wearing nothing but my
jersey. When she noticed me staring, she smirked,
establishing that she knew exactly what she was doing. I
narrowed my eyes, feeling anger build inside me at her
audacity after I’d told her to leave.
 The front door opened and Grayson stepped out,
complaining about how awkward he was around Maxine.
He then questioned why I was standing outside in nothing
but sweatpants. I said nothing, merely pointed to my
window where we could see Melissa parading around my
room.
Grayson chuckled darkly. “Fuck, I wouldn’t wanna be
her.” Melissa stopped at the window to wave at us. “She
won’t be wearing that smile much longer.”
It nearly sounded like a threat and I wondered what he
was hinting at. “I’m not going to hurt her,” I told him in a
tired tone. It was too early for this shit.
The man next to me smirked. “You won’t.” He clapped
me on the back. “But your girl will.”
I tilted my head to stare back at my room window.
Melissa seemed to be making herself comfortable. God,
Nyx would skin her alive and not even blink twice. But as
much as my pride ached to admit, Nyx’s anger had almost
nothing to do with me, at least not all of it. I could read her
like a book and her reaction was solely because Melissa
had taunted her—something she usually did to others.
I didn’t even want to imagine what was coming
Melissa’s way.

OceanofPDF.com
“W hy are you even so worked up?” Nailea asked
through a giggle as she stopped the car. A
mother and her kids crossed the street, sending
Nailea a grateful smile because the previous car had
ignored the red light. I sat in the passenger seat, gripping
the seatbelt and seething, only fuelling Nailea’s laughter.
I huffed, trying to rid Melissa’s stare from my mind.
“You should’ve seen her, Nai, the way she looked at me.”
My fists clenched. “I hated it because it’s the way I look at
people.” Her eyes flashed through my mind and I groaned,
becoming frustrated with myself for concerning myself with
her. I was the one who frustrated people, not the other way
around. “She was taunting me.”
Nailea nodded, stepping on the gas. In a light tone, she
proposed, “So, this has nothing to do with her having slept
with Beckham?” I knew I shouldn’t have added that fact
when relaying the story. It was irrelevant. If I had laser
vision, the curly-haired woman in the driver’s seat would’ve
been nothing but a pile of ash. She caught my death glare
and choked on another laugh. “It’s a genuine question!”
 “Why should I care who he sticks his dick in?” I
challenged, struggling to get a grip on my displeasure. It
was like trying to catch air; completely futile. “He can stick
his dick in whatever he wants until his dick catches a
disease, shrivels up and falls off. Then, the only place his
dick will be in is a jar because they’ll have to cut it off and
he’ll be dickless—”
“Can you stop saying the word dick!” Nailea blurted,
eyes wide as she lurched around an old lady. She yelled an
apology through the window and the old lady raised her
middle finger in response. Nailea ignored her, already
focused on the road again. “Every time you say it your
voice goes a little higher and you make me jump. One more
time and we’ll crash into a tree.”
Her face was red and she peered at the rear-view
mirror, fully expecting us to be chased by a cop or
something. I apologised smoothly, rolling my eyes as I
realised my argument didn’t even make sense. And that
irked me. Because my arguments always made sense. It
was the reason I’d been on the debate team in both middle
and high school. An inhumane groan left me and I sank my
head into my hands.
“I really couldn’t give a fuck about who Beckham sleeps
with, Nai,” I informed her, my words filled with ¾ sincerity,
and she nodded, eyes flitting to the rear-view mirror. She
knew things would never be the same between us again.
“It’s Melissa that’s the problem. She thought she achieved
something by tossing their activities in my face all because
she knew of our history. She taunted me.”
Taking a second to peek at me, Nailea’s stare was
dripping with sympathy. To taunt me was to trigger
something deep within me. I didn’t like being painted as a
fool. I outsmarted others. I taunted others. I’d been on the
receiving end of humiliation before, put there by someone
who wanted me to suffer. The taunting was torturous,
highlighting that I was outsmarted. I had much more to
lose than just popularity and friends. That was when I
realised people sought to step on others and use their
backs as a ladder to their destination. I wasn’t anybody’s
ladder. And I wouldn’t be put down. Melissa’s stare sought
to make me feel small. Her stare triggered memories, a
stare exploding with satisfaction.
A stare almost identical to my dad’s.
“You know you can talk to me, right?” Nailea said when
she saw me drowning in my thoughts, still concentrated on
the road. But that was the thing; I knew I could talk to her.
The problem was doing it without feeling like I was
weighing her down with problems she had no need to
worry about. “I know we’re not best friends or anything,
but I just want you to know that I care, okay? You can come
to me.”
Self-loathing filled me when I noticed the implicit
sadness in her countenance. I thought of every time she’d
offered to drive me somewhere. I thought of when she’d
asked me to go to parties with her, knowing that I would
refuse. And that’s when I allowed myself to sense the
desperation around her, the same scent that lingered on
me. Nailea may have had lots of friends and was invited to
every raging party because the entire campus wanted to be
in the range of somebody so ethereal—but I knew none of
them were close friends. They were only around for the
image or to use her in one way or another.
This friendship thing was new to her almost as much as
it was for me. She was alone. Something in that loneliness,
something in that desperation called me to her.
Which was why I chose to say, “It’s my dad. He’s not a
very good person and he’s played a huge role in why I am
the way I am today.”
Nailea risked swerving off the road to place a quick
hand on mine. “I figured something was wrong a while ago
already. Whatever you need me to do, I’ll do it.” She took in
a deep breath, looking jittery. “Can I just ask, does he hurt
you?” After a few seconds of deliberation, I gave her a
single nod. “Hijo de puta,” she swore. “Is there nowhere
else you can go?”
Taking note of her restrained anger, I shook my head.
“We had my grandma once. If she was still around, she
would’ve taken us in without blinking twice. But my mom,”
I sighed, “she was fucked up. When she found out my
grandma was gonna file for custody, she got a restraining
order against her. My grandma was forced to leave.”
I had no idea where the sweet woman was now. If I was
her, I wouldn’t come back at all too, even after the
termination date of the restraining order had passed. Eliza
only ever brought pain into the lives of those around her. I
didn’t blame my grandma for not having the heart to come
back. I only wished that I had some sort of way to contact
her, to tell her that my mom wasn’t around, tell her that we
needed her.
But that was just that; wishful thinking. Annie and I
were adults now and we needed to deal with our problems.
Nailea’s grip on the steering wheel became firmer. “And
where’s your mom now?”
“Annie says she’s in rehab,” I mumbled, turning to stare
at passing cars. “She could’ve left us with my grandma. I
mean, if she was always planning on leaving, she could’ve
at least left us with somebody who cared.” Not our dad.
Our lives would’ve been so different if my grandma had
kept us.
For the rest of the drive, I explained to Nailea the plan
Annie and I had, and how we were going to leave once we
had enough money. I waited for that feeling of regret to
materialise after you comprehended that you’d overshared.
I waited for that fear because I’d just let somebody else in
after I’d promised myself to never put my family at risk
again. But it never came. All that arrived was an intense
feeling of gratitude when Nailea said she had an older
brother that was trying to sell his apartment.
 “I don’t talk to him much,” she admitted, “but I’m his
baby sister so he’ll be forced to give me a discount on it,
right?” I smiled, trying not to bawl. “Just leave it to me.”
Another squeeze to my hand.
She drove us to Daisy’s Delicacies where I was supposed
to meet Annie. She’d taken on some extra shifts and
Donovan wasn’t objecting. He’d claimed to be losing staff
members and emptied his soul to Annie one day, whining
about how he didn’t want to run his mom’s business into
the ground. Annie had comforted him the best way that she
could; by listening.
But it was obvious why his employees were quitting—
because he was an asshole.
When we pulled up outside, I hopped out of the car and
strolled inside. The cafe wasn’t very busy as it was still
early morning. There were a few regulars, I assumed,
sitting around and drinking coffee as if they did it every
morning.
A couple sat at one table eating breakfast. They looked
to be slightly older than my dad. For a split second, I
wondered if that was what my parents’ relationship
would’ve been like if they were still together. Going out for
breakfast whilst the kids were at school, cuddling on the
couch, taking us to the park, and attending school functions
and sports events.
Perhaps they would’ve been at my debates, Annie’s
bake-off, Poppy’s volleyball matches, or even the recital
Indigo’s ballet class would be hosting soon. My eyes
prickled at the thought. I must’ve been staring at the
couple for quite some time because the woman looked up,
eyes meeting mine.
My cheeks flamed at being caught gawking, but the
woman offered me a kind smile paired with a little wave.
She nudged her husband, who I only then realised was
attired in a police officer’s uniform, and he indulged his
grinning wife by waving at me as well. I awkwardly
returned their waves whilst wondering if I reminded them
of their daughter or something.
Because most people weren’t that friendly.
If somebody had waved at my dad whilst he was having
breakfast, he’d probably snarl like a rampaging bear. With
red cheeks, I ducked my head and pushed through the staff
doors. I found Annie in the break room, a tired Indigo
seated on her lap.
The girl still wasn’t feeling well. Just yesterday, we’d
taken her to the doctor and they’d diagnosed her with a
common cold but still put her off for the rest of the week. It
made our schedules slightly more difficult since Annie
worked and Poppy and I had school. But my morning
classes were cancelled so I could take Indigo for a bit
whilst sorting out the boxes.
“How’s she doing?” I urged Annie, proceeding to take
Indigo.
Annie gently placed her in my arms and her face nuzzled
its way into my neck. “Sleepy. She just had breakfast and I
gave her the meds the doctor prescribed.”
“And Pops?”
“Julie’s mom picked her up earlier this morning, right
after you left.”
Julie was a new girl in Poppy’s class and her mom,
Georgia, was such a blessing because she solved all of our
transport problems. She’d offered to drive the girls to and
from school since it was on her way. I’d insisted on paying
for gas money, but she refused each time.
When I shivered, I discerned that the air conditioner
was on full blast. It wasn’t healthy for a sick child to sit in a
room as cold as this. But, once again, Donovan was an
asshole. When I quizzed Annie, she told me that he’d
cautioned her he was already allowing her to keep Indigo
at work, so she didn’t have the right to complain about his
air conditioner.
 Beth popped her head into the room. “Annie, you’ve got
a new customer at one of your tables.” She spotted me, a
smile appearing on her lips as Annie shyly mumbled that
she’d be right there. “Hey, Nyx. You good?”
I nodded and winked at her. “I’m always good,
Macbeth.” She laughed before leaving again. The sound
made me smile, glad that there were no hard feelings
between us.
Annie stared at me awkwardly and I raised a brow. “Do
you happen to have plans tonight?” she questioned gently,
busying herself by checking the time.
My lips quirked upwards. “Not that I know of. Why? Do
you have plans, Ms Taylor?” She’d been acting different for
some time, no longer coming home from work and starting
her daily crying session in the bathroom. I was glad, but
also curious as to what had made her happier as of late.
She flushed as I shifted Indigo in my hold. “Shut up. A
few of us from the café are planning a little something
tonight.”
I couldn’t help myself, I smirked. And if my arms were
free, I would’ve poked Annie’s flaming cheeks. “And I’m
assuming that a special someone will be attending?” Annie
didn’t say anything, just attempted a glare but failed
miserably because she was the same shade as a tomato.
“Okay fine, I won’t tease. Tell me about them?”
She smiled slightly, smoothing down her dress. “No.”
Feigning a gasp, I begged, “At least give me a hint.”
“If I give you a hint, you’ll figure it out immediately.”
Still grinning, I asked, “A small hint? Please?”
Annie sighed, rubbing her temples. She was the worst at
giving hints, honestly. She always ended up giving
everything away. Which was why I wanted her to give me a
hint. After some thinking, she said, “Fine, a skull.”
There was pride in the grin she wore, believing that I
couldn't figure it out. What a shame. I let five seconds of
silence pass to give her the impression that she had me
stumped.
I waited until she was about to laugh at me, then said,
“It’s Beth.”
Her mouth, which was previously opened to laugh,
produced a gasp of astonishment. “What? How did you get
to that conclusion?”
“Indie and I call her Macbeth, a character from a play by
Shakespeare. Another play by Shakespeare is Hamlet, and
the most prominent symbol for that play is the skull of
Yorick,” I grinned. “Did I get that right?”
She looked ready to either cry or laugh. “You’re a bitch.”
“You shouldn’t have given me a hint,” I said through
laughter, watching her turn red again. “You think she likes
you too?”
Annie shrugged. “I mean, I think so? She’s always there
when I feel a little overwhelmed. She’s overly affectionate
and touchy with me. But I think she’s confused about what
she wants. It’s scary, I know that.”
I couldn’t speak from experience, but having been there
when Annie had begun questioning her sexuality, I knew it
was scary. She’d been eighteen years old with no mom to
turn to and a sister who hadn’t even had her first kiss yet.
“And her mom’s not helping either,” Annie proceeded to
ramble.
“Her mom?” I echoed.
Annie’s face screwed up. “She’s pressuring her to start
dating somebody.” A wary glance was tossed my way.
“Preferably Beckham.”
Smiling sadly at her attempt to protect my feelings, I
voiced, “I don’t think he likes her like that.”
“But that’s the thing; Beth knows. She just doesn’t
wanna disappoint her mom.” Annie ran a hand over her
face. “The last thing I want is to scare her away with my
feelings when she hasn’t even figured her own out yet. My
goodness, I hope I’m not imagining this attraction.” She
turned around, her eyes closed as she tried to ease her
nerves.
I heard heavy breathing on the other side of the door
and I frowned. Bouncing Indigo when she stirred, I told
Annie, “I’m gonna give you a moment.”
I slowly backtracked, stepping out of the staffroom—only
to bump into Beth.
The taller girl awkwardly tried to make it seems as if
she’d just arrived, but by the way that I’d knocked the door
into her, I knew she’d been leaning against it. We stared at
one another like two idiots. No words passed between us.
She gave me a small grin and then entered the staffroom,
the door shutting behind her.
Despite the bitch in me wanting to eavesdrop, I moved
to wait by the counter. I turned around to sit and was met
with one half of the couple, the woman.
I froze at the welcoming smile she wore and the look of
absolute glee in her hazel eyes, the colour reminding me of
Nailea. “I’m sorry,” she apologised, still smiling, “but I’ve
been trying to figure out why you look so familiar and then
it clicked. You were almost at every USC hockey game last
year.”
Striving for a smile of my own, I responded, “Yeah, are
you a fan of the team?”
A thought formed in the back of my mind. I could use
this woman’s love for hockey to encourage her to bring
friends and families to matches and fundraisers.
When she grinned again, I knew I had her.
“My son’s on the team,” she ended up saying and I
gaped in surprise. “Do you think they have a shot at
winning this year?” Her question was straightforward,
emphasising that she was definitely the mother of a player.
Blinking hastily, I tried to get my mind back into the
present moment. “Um, well I think they’re fully capable of
winning. I’ve been helping the new coach with some things
—”
 The woman cut me off, her astonishment obviously fake
and I frowned at her terrible display of acting. She had a
hand on her heart and everything.
“Wait, you’re Nyx, aren’t you? I’m Helen.” She didn’t let
me speak, continuing her ramble. Part of me wanted to
smile at her enthusiasm. “My son has told me so much
about you and you’re doing a great job thus far, from what I
know,” she paused, “say, what do you think of the new
captain?”
I ran a hand over Indigo’s back, raising an eyebrow at
Helen’s grin. “Beckham Hunt?” She nodded eagerly. “He’s
great,” I informed her, “really knows his team and what he
wants.” When I realised there was truth to my words, I
couldn’t help but feel slightly annoyed. If possible, Helen’s
smile grew ten times in size.
“I was a little worried,” she admitted with a sheepish
smile, “a new captain doesn’t always take well to the team
as quickly as he did.” I could only nod, completely
forgetting that I was trying to get this woman to buy tickets
to everything. Her husband called her over, looking mildly
disturbed. “It was nice meeting you, Nyx.”
And then she was walking back to her husband, the
latter staring at her incredulously and appearing to scold
her. She only shrugged in response. I was still standing in a
bubble of confusion when Annie appeared. Once again, her
face was aflame.
“I’ll tell you tonight,” she mumbled and I smiled. She
trailed me to Nailea’s car where she greeted the girl with a
bright smile.
“Anna Banana!” Nailea blew her kisses as I fought to
forget my weird interaction with Helen. “Good to see you.
Wanna explain why you’re so red?” I laughed at the
question then laughed harder as Annie shyly hid her face
behind her hands.
The two spoke whilst I wondered what role my dad
would play if Annie finally got into a healthy relationship.
There was no other answer. He would ruin it, most
definitely. I didn’t want that to happen. He would want to
control her relationship just like he fought to control us
with his stupid rules.
Matthew Taylor was a stickler for those rules. Growing
up an only child, he’d been spoilt rotten but remained top
of his class, captain of the football team and his parents’
pride and joy. His parents had had this rulebook that he
was supposed to follow and he’d memorised that shit.
Never raise your voice, Matty. Never disrespect your
elders, Matty. Always take responsibility for your actions,
Matty. Always behave yourself, Matty.
But that rulebook was tossed into the fire once he’d
gotten my mom pregnant during their senior year in high
school. His parents had been appalled by his actions and
cut him off, wanting nothing to do with him. Always take
responsibility for your actions, Matty. My mom, Eliza, was
young and immature, but she’d wanted to have that baby.
Nine months later, Anabeth Taylor had been born; Beth
after my mom and Ana after our grandma, Anabelle. When
he’d knocked my mom up almost four years later, he hadn’t
even stayed to see me be born. Because of the wreck, I
didn’t remember anything from before seven, but Annie
had said we’d lived at our grandma’s place whilst our dad
flitted in and out of our lives when he wanted to.
They’d only gotten married and moved in together when
my mom had fallen pregnant with Poppy. Theirs was a
fucked up relationship and I would’ve been glad if they
hadn’t gotten together after their initial separation. But
that would mean no Poppy and Indigo. So in a way, I had a
reason to be thankful that my mom had gone back to an
abusive asshole like him.
I knew the story of my parents because of my grandma.
She’d told it to Annie and me back when we were still
allowed to see her. She’d never really liked my dad and
made her distaste for him obvious, warning my mom away
from him. But to no avail. As I’d told Nailea, she was the
only one who had seemed to care. And my mom was a
coward. Once they were both out of our lives, there was
nobody to curb my dad. He was still a stickler for the rules,
obsessed with the idea of perfect daughters.
The rules had changed to fit us.
Never raise your voice, Annie. Never disrespect your
elders, Nyxie. Always take responsibility for your actions,
Poppy. Always behave yourself, Indie.
I never liked when people taunted me because, for many
years, it was what my dad had done to me, still to this day.
He taunted me because he knew I couldn’t always speak
back, and couldn’t raise my voice. I hated it. To him, what
he was doing wasn’t abuse. In his own words, he was
disciplining us. Somewhere in his fucked up mind, he
believed this wholeheartedly. Sometimes, when he’d hit me,
he’d call me Eliza.
Because I looked like the woman who’d left him with
four kids.
Poppy and I had it the worst because of our resemblance
to her. My dad was the reason Poppy needed physiotherapy.
He’d pushed her a little too hard during one of his drunken
tantrums and she’d tripped over a loose floorboard, landing
at a bad angle. I could tell he felt bad, horrified at what
he’d done, but not enough to apologise. His anger
outweighed the little love he had for us.
He would disappear for a while whenever he
accidentally hurt Poppy. The same happened when he’d hit
Indigo for the first time. It was like he was appalled by his
actions, but was still the same person when he returned. I
didn’t see the point. Sometimes he’d even apologise to
Annie for yelling at her. Me? He never cared about me. I
could take a fist to the eye and see him at the breakfast
table the next morning, smiling. It had been that way since
I was a young girl.
 There’d been times when I had to go stay with my
grandma for a while, just because my mom didn’t trust my
dad not to hurt me. That had been just after the wedding
when my dad was still getting used to us all living with him.
He couldn’t take his constant anger out on my mom, not
when she was pregnant.
And I looked like her.
He hadn’t laid a hand on me then. But there’d still been
a possibility, especially when he looked at me with that
familiar rage in his gaze. The very thought that he’d beat a
child was nauseating.
Shaking my head to rid myself of the memories, I
strapped Indigo into the backseat, placing her fluffy blanket
over her. Annie passed me her backpack, filled with extra
clothes and her meds. The flush in her cheeks was gone
now, but a smile still lingered in her eyes.
Plus, her lips were fucking swollen.
She pecked Indigo on the head before doing the same to
me. I smiled, sinking into her embrace. Annie laughed,
squeezing me to her chest. “What’s with you?” she teased,
kissing my head again. Annie was the closest thing we had
to a mom. The four-year age gap between us may as well
have been twenty years.
“I love you,” I whispered, momentarily forgetting that
Nailea was witnessing all of this. People at school
constantly joked that I was a robot. I’d heard people
speaking about it before. They had no idea what I’d do for
my sisters, though.
My big sister’s brows sank into a soothing furrow as she
grinned. “I love you too, sweetheart,” she murmured,
running a hand over my back before pulling away slightly.
“By the way, it completely slipped my mind,” her eyes
drifted to Nailea before she lowered her voice to a whisper,
“but you asked me about rehab.”
It hit me that I’d meant to ask her about it after that day
in the janitor’s closet but I never did. “Shit, yes. I wanted to
know how you knew she was there.”
Nailea was too busy on her phone to even pay attention
to us, but she already knew everything, and I made this
clear to Annie by speaking in a normal tone.
My sister stared at me flatly. “She told me, obviously. It
was around a month or so ago when she called me out of
nowhere,” Annie explained, looking pained. “She tried to
call you too but you wouldn’t answer. Then she asked me to
talk to you, ask you to give her a chance to explain. But I
knew you took her leaving the worst, and I wasn’t going to
force you to do anything you didn’t want or mention it if it
was going to upset you.”
I offered her an apologetic smile, wanting to argue but
knowing that I couldn’t. “You’re right, it would’ve upset
me.” And probably thrown me off course.
“See,” she rolled her eyes, but she was grinning. “I’m
open to all questions, but only if you’re ready. Now, get
going.” With one last hug, I climbed back into the car as
Nailea started it.
Annie waved as we drove off. Indigo was already
completely passed out, her meds taking effect. My dad
hadn’t been home since the day he hit her. I was thankful
he hadn’t returned yet. The thought made me wonder if my
mom would decide to return. It didn’t surprise me that
Annie had spoken to her. She was too good of a person to
ignore her, even after she’d left us with a piece of shit
father. It soothed me slightly to know that Annie knew more
than she let on. One of us had to be mature when it came to
our mom, after all, and I was glad it was her. God alone
knew what I would’ve told my mom if I’d answered her
calls.
Probably to fuck off like she’d always wanted to.
Nailea drove us back to Beckham’s house. I was a little
hesitant about having Indigo around the guys since I’d
always kept my family separate from my school life. But I
had no other choice. In my relationship with the hockey
team, I wore the pants, which meant I’d take no bullshit.
This was nothing like last year and Nate was long gone.
The vulnerable side of me prayed that he was the only
rotten apple in the basket.
“I might miss classes later,” I told Nailea, gesturing to
my sister. “I have her until Annie’s done with her shift,
which isn’t until later this evening. Can you get me some
extra notes?”
“Sure thing. Consider it thanks for making notes for me
last week when I missed classes.” A sly smirk pulled at her
full lips. “You know, when I was hungover.”
I laughed. “You mean when you were too lazy to get out
of bed.” She shrugged, prompting my laughter to grow
louder. I shrugged Indigo’s bag onto my back before
unstrapping her. She was still fast asleep and I gently
placed her head on my shoulder as Nailea threw the
blanket over her. “See you later,” I greeted.
“See you later, babe. Call me if you need anything.”
Nailea blew kisses before driving off.
I watched her disappear down the street before turning
around. Subconsciously, my eyes drifted to Beckham’s room
window. The curtains were drawn, but I could still feel
Melissa’s stare, even though she was probably gone. I
cursed inwardly and trudged towards the door. Without
knocking, I shoved it open and made my way to the living
room—where I was entirely blown away.
Oliver, with his bright red hair, was standing with a
scissor in his hands, expertly cutting through the tape.
Jasper was helping him. They took out the contents of the
plain brown boxes and passed them to the next person, Jai.
The latter’s fingers had healed quicker than expected and
he was now neatly placing foods into the black boxes that
I’d ordered a few days ago.
Sebastian stood next to him, helping to lid the boxes.
Once they were closed, the boxes were passed to Grayson,
who snipped through golden ribbons. The ribbons had been
Poppy’s idea and seeing them now; I was glad I’d listened
to her. After the ribbons were cut, Grayson draped them
around the box and pushed it towards Beckham, where he
tied little bows. I couldn’t believe my eyes. The idiots were
actually following orders. The entire first team was there to
help box. I thought I’d have to send a few more heated
emails to get them to cooperate.
Stepping further into the room, I mused, “Seems like
Nyx’s little helpers are making progress. I have to say, I’m
surprised.” Grayson laughed whereas Beckham looked up
and scowled. “Would you like for me to get you little hats?
With little bells on them and everything?”
Jasper scratched the top of his recently shaved head.
“Wouldn’t mind, honestly. Head’s been kinda cold without
my hair.”
“Nobody told you to get gum stuck in your hair,” Jai
added, raising his head and dark eyes flashing to me in
greeting. I nodded.
Sweat beaded on Oliver’s forehead and he rubbed it
away, cutting through more tape. “It’s a good look for you.”
The defenceman chuckled when Jasper glowered at him for
the use of his sarcastic words. “Kinda reminds me of an
egg.”
Sebastian nodded in agreement and I laughed before
stating, “We should start a business.” In the time that I was
gone, they’d managed to get far. Grayson raised an
eyebrow as if asking what business. I acknowledged his
unvoiced inquiry. “A box packing business, if that’s a thing.
We’d make so much money.” I walked to the couch and
settled Indigo there. She sank back into the throw pillow,
still asleep. “But, I’m already making enough money.”
“From your paid internship?” Beckham spoke up with a
scowl. But it didn’t look as intimidating as he expected
because he was currently tying another bow. Jasper mimed
the motion of tossing money around.
 I put Indigo’s bag on the floor next to the couch and
peered straight at Beckham. “That too. But, I was talking
about my oh-so-famous prostitution services.” They all
froze. Beckham’s lips twitched as his teammates waited for
me to explain. I sauntered towards their captain. “You
know, if you want, you could tuck some money into my
thong.”
Oliver choked on air but Beckham didn’t waver. “You’d
like that, wouldn’t you,” he murmured, eyes narrowing.
I stepped around him and let out a small laugh as I
scrutinized their work. “Silly me, I forgot I had to be
wearing one for that to happen.” The implication was
obvious and five pairs of eyes dropped to my jeans as I
sashayed away. Grayson was looking at the opposite wall,
face red. “I’m helping myself to whatever’s in your fridge.”
My stomach was close to eating itself. Thankfully, the
boys had some grapes in the fridge and I hopped onto a
barstool, chewing in satisfaction. Hushed murmurs came
from the living room and I snickered into my hand. Ten
minutes must’ve passed before Jasper stumbled into the
kitchen, pouring himself a glass of juice. He didn’t meet my
gaze and I smiled down at my grapes. He was a handsome
fellow, but I doubted that he’d like it if I told him he
reminded me of Diego, Dora’s cousin. But the resemblance
was uncanny. He was just missing the hair. Jasper, along
with Oliver, was a defenceman and they both had the
muscle to speak for it.
Childlike giggles met my ears and the sound brightened
my mood. Indigo was awake. Jasper leaned against the
sink, sipping from his juice as he gestured towards the
doorway.
“Got knocked up on one of your jobs?”
A loud laugh bubbled in my throat and Jasper grinned in
victory as I threw him with a grape. It bounced from his
chest. “Fuck you, asshole. She’s my sister.”
He shrugged, still smiling. “I figured.”
 I threw another grape, but he caught it in his mouth;
pride emanating from him and I rolled my eyes. I peeked
out the doorway and saw Grayson seated next to Indigo,
muttering something that made her giggle like crazy.
“I didn’t know you had a sister,” Jasper expressed again,
placing his empty glass in the sink.
I smiled grimly. “Few people do.”
Indigo’s laughter abruptly turned into wild cries. My
heart nearly stopped beating as Jasper and I scrambled into
the living room. I found her contorted into a ball on the
floor, arms wrapped around her legs as she wailed into her
knees.
“What happened?” I yelled, picking up Indigo as she
continued to sob like a hysterical person.
Grayson was pale, eyes wide as he sputtered. “I don’t—I
didn’t—” I rubbed Indigo’s back, heart shattering when she
hiccupped. Oliver and Jai stopped their work, watching in
bafflement. “Beck tossed me the roll of ribbon. I was gonna
make her a bow.” His eyes went to my sister and I watched
his brows crinkle. “He tossed it and I raised my hand to
catch—”
I didn’t hear the rest of his words. I didn’t need to. My
shoulders slumped as I realised what had happened.
Grayson had raised his hand. Just like my dad had raised
his hand on Indigo a few days ago.
I held her tighter, burying my nose in her hair as
Grayson apologised, even though he didn’t know what he’d
done. Jasper disappeared into the kitchen to get Indigo
some water. Grayson plopped onto the couch, head
dropping into his hands. I wanted to comfort him because
Indigo’s pain-filled sobs were enough to dismay anyone,
especially Grayson, who thought he’d caused it. But I had
to comfort her first. Oliver was freaking out, asking if he
should call the ambulance. Sebastian led him outside to
have a breather with Jai following behind.
 But I wasn’t concerned about them. I was concerned
about Beckham. Or maybe it was the other way around. His
grey eyes were churning with questions as he gazed at me.
He tilted his head slightly. No words were exchanged
between us but, for some reason, I could grasp what he
was trying to tell me. His brows drew together as he
thought back to what he’d just witnessed when he’d tossed
the ribbon to Grayson.
No, no, no.
He looked to my lips next, where I’d previously sported
a cut. Then he looked at my face. I wore makeup. There
was no way he could’ve seen the bruise. But I’d also trained
with them that day, which meant that I’d been sweating.
No, no, no.
“She’s easily frightened,” I explained to Grayson, taking
the water that Jasper offered and encouraging Indigo to
take small sips. She was still sniffling like crazy and
Grayson apologised again. “New people and all.”
Grayson nodded, still looking dazed. Beckham didn’t
look convinced. If anything, he looked furious. His fists
were clenched at his sides and I glanced away. When Jasper
pointed me in the bathroom’s direction—although I knew
where it was—I twisted on my heel. I set Indigo down on
the closed toilet. She gripped the glass in shaking hands.
Indigo may have had a mouth that was way older than
she was, but she was still a baby. Five years old, just a little
away from turning six. It was easy to forget her age when
she was such a smart cookie, but it was obvious as I
watched her cry.
“I feel so bad, Nyxie,” she hiccupped. “I made Grayson
panic—but—I,” she wiped her face with one hand, trying to
stop the tears. “I thought he was gonna—”
“It’s okay, sweetheart,” I told her, not wanting her to feel
guilty. She’d done nothing wrong. The entire situation
reminded me of when I’d been younger and the same thing
would happen to me. But I no longer flinched. I wouldn’t
give anybody the satisfaction. “Do you wanna go home?
Because we can—”
Indigo cut me off, shaking her head. “My blanket.”
I nodded, “I’ll go get your blanket, honey.” Nearly
tripping over my feet, I hurried out of the bathroom,
rounding a corner and stumbling into a chest. I would’ve
landed on my ass if it wasn’t for the arm that went around
my waist. The tattoos were a dead giveaway as to who was
holding me. “Beckham—”
His voice was a low rumble, anger twisting his words
into shards, ready to pierce through skin. I expected him to
taunt me because I paraded around campus acting like this
powerful woman, but the moment I went home; I was a
helpless little girl. The moment my baby sister cried, I
dissolved into a state of panic—nothing like the composed
woman he knew.
But three words left his mouth and I stopped struggling
in his hold.
“Somebody’s hurting you.”
Nothing else. Just a statement. The last time, he’d asked
me if somebody had hurt me.
It wasn’t a question this time.
My mouth opened and closed like a fish, shocked that
he’d thrown it out there like that. There was no way for me
to work around it and that was probably his intention. My
mind was a mess, all over the place so I said the first thing
that popped up in my brain. “I don’t know what you’re—”
One hand gently cupped the side of my face and I
shuddered, staring up at him because he didn’t let me look
away, keeping my gaze.
“Nyx,” his voice was a guttural whisper. “Who’s hurting
you?”

OceanofPDF.com
N yx blundered out of my hold like a bar of soap the
moment the question left my lips. I barely had a
second to comprehend what was happening before
she twisted around me, disappearing into the living room.
She returned a beat after with a blanket in her hands,
going into the bathroom once again, the door shutting
behind her. I sighed, leaning against the opposite wall.
Nyx’s voice was hushed through the door, sounding as if
she was trapped underwater. Her words were incoherent
and I gave up on trying to eavesdrop. My mind reeled back
to what had happened a few minutes ago. One second,
Indigo had been giggling at the jokes Grayson was making;
Grayson who wouldn’t hurt a fly. The next second, I’d
tossed him the roll of ribbon, and suddenly Indigo was
bawling.
But I saw what happened.
Grayson had been looking at me to catch the ribbon, but
I had been looking in his direction, which meant Indigo was
in my view. I’d watched her flinch the moment Grayson had
raised his hand. And it hadn’t just been any flinch like Nyx
had tried to pass off as her being easily frightened. A scare
like that would’ve made her jump.
But the little girl had recoiled, eyes focused on
Grayson’s hand. She’d shrank back as if expecting to be hit.
The memory tormented my thoughts, even though it had
happened recently. Seeing the fear in Indigo’s eyes had
awakened something in my chest.
Seeking to control my burgeoning rage, I left the house,
heading to the backyard. The last thing we needed was for
me to go on a rampage, demanding to know why Indigo
was scared. The pool glistened underneath the sunlight and
I contemplated taking a dip. It would help cool me down.
I heard the sound of ripping cardboard and assumed
Oliver, Jai, Jasper and Sebastian went back to work. The
last time I’d seen Grayson, he was pacing the hallway. I
knew he had a soft spot for Indigo as she reminded him of
somebody. And the thought of hurting her was killing him.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Nyx cursed as she elbowed through
the backdoor and, on instinct, I moved to hide behind the
wall. She was running her hands through her hair in
turmoil, the blonde strands becoming messy. “You shouldn’t
have brought her here, you stupid bitch!” There was
nobody else around and it was quite clear she was speaking
to herself.
She ambled towards the edge of the pool and sank to
her knees, angrily splashing at the water with her hands. I
would’ve laughed if the situation wasn’t severe.
I stepped out of my hiding place and said, “You and
Nailea didn’t sleep together, did you?” Nyx was smart and I
knew she’d catch onto what I was implying.
Judging by the way her eyes narrowed as she pushed to
her feet, I knew I had her. “Why?” She angled her head to
the side, reminding me of a puppy. “Were you expecting an
invitation?” Her chest was rising and falling at a rapid pace
and I suspected her thoughts were running wild.
 “The other day,” I proceeded, glancing towards the trees
as I strolled towards her. “At the rink, you told me that
Nailea got a little too rough with you.” Her little nose
crinkled in barely subdued fury.
Nyx crossed her arms, stance becoming defensive. “Oh,
I remember that day. It was when I hurt your feelings.” Her
plump lips formed a pout and her eyelashes fluttered in
mock consolation. “You thought I was interested in you, of
all people, but I was only using you to get what I want. How
did that feel, bigshot?”
Her words were like water down my back; I knew she
was only spitting venom because she was scared. That
wasn’t a word I ever thought I’d associate with Nyx Taylor.
But here we were.
“You said she got too rough with you,” I reiterated and
she grimaced. “But you lied.” I halted in front of her and
she didn’t move away. Slowly raising a hand, I settled my
thumb at the corner of her mouth. “You had a cut. Right
here.”
Her reply was flat. “Fine, you caught me. One of my
clients had a huge dick. Could barely wrap my mouth
around it when I gave him head. Split the corner of my lip
in the process.” Her nose twitched again. “But the pay
made everything worth it.”
I ignored her attempts at trying to deflect my probing—
because that’s what I was doing. I was probing,
interrogating her even though I had no right to.
But this wasn’t just something you overlooked, as I’d
told my mom. This wasn’t me passing a child who had
dropped their ice cream as they cried. I could overlook
that. This wasn’t a petty fight between my friends, one I
didn’t have to intervene because they’d sort it out on their
own. This was potential abuse. And no matter how much
Nyx got on my nerves, abuse wasn’t a joke.
My thumb moved from her mouth, brushing her delicate
cheekbone. Momentarily, she leaned into my touch, my
palm framing the side of her face just like it had a few
minutes ago.
“And you had a bruise, right here.” The skin was smooth
now, dotted with light freckles and slightly red because of
her displeasure.
“My client was also into impact play,” she quipped, eyes
sparkling the same colour as the water we stood next to.
“He had some whips and things got a little out of hand. But,
once again, the pay made everything worth it.”
Irritation scratched the back of my throat and I itched to
yell at her because she never took me seriously. She had a
way of dancing circles around you. Her words put you in a
trance and by the time you woke up, you could no longer
remember what you were talking about. The look she was
giving me was similar to the one she nearly obliterated me
with when I’d cornered her in the janitor’s closet. And
suddenly, it was difficult to breathe. I’d cornered her that
day, allowed my indignation to take the front seat and drive
me down a street of unnecessary argument.
My voice was just above a whisper. “You were crying.”
And I wasn’t just talking about her crying before I’d
entered the closet. I was referring to the tears she’d shed
whilst speaking with me too; when I’d ruined the one good
memory she had of me. Guilt festered from deep within me.
Nyx chose that moment to recoil and she pushed me
away, hands shoving at my chest. Panic. I could feel it
leaving her body in waves as if she was the sun and I was
somebody to whom she was trying to give sunburn.
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
I shook my head, trying to gather my thoughts. “When
you were on the phone, you were crying.” Her lips parted,
but no words left her. Muttering a curse, I realised she was
thinking of the time I’d caught her crying about the
rumours spreading around campus, rumours regarding her
and Nate.
 But she didn’t know I caught her. And that wasn’t a door
I wanted to open right now, so I clarified, “The janitor’s
closet.”
Some panic left her features, but she was still on edge.
“You mean when you accosted me and accused me of
working with Nate. What a lovely day that was.”
She probably didn’t expect me to feel bad, but I did. And
after Nyx had left earlier this morning, I’d finally gone
through my emails; one of them was from Benson.
According to his friend at UCLA, Nate’s transfer and
reregistration had been a last-minute decision and wasn’t
decided upon until a few days ago. Which meant there was
no way he could’ve gotten onto the team on such short
notice.
“About that,” I groaned, nervously scratching the back of
my neck and she huffed, waiting for my response. “I’m
sorry.”
The words were like swallowing razors because this was
my third apology to her in the time span of a week. It
highlighted the way I treated her, leaving it out in the open
for me to see, for me to analyse—and I didn’t like what I
saw. This was a girl I’d essentially worshipped before and
now I was treating her like shit. My mom was right.
Neither of us spoke for a few seconds and I got the
impression that she was processing my words. Through all
the insults, we had never apologised to each other and it
was clear by the frown she wore that she was taking this
apology and the past two instances into consideration.
“Do you think I’m stupid?”
That was not the response I was expecting. I had to
blink a few times because I thought I was imagining her
sudden outburst. Yet, I wasn’t.
“What?” I urged stupidly.
Nyx shoved my chest again and let out an annoyed huff
when I didn’t move. “Do you think that by saying sorry I’ll
suddenly spill my deepest, darkest secrets?” she
challenged, still trying to shove me. “This whole apology
thing only started after you saw the cut on my mouth.
That’s low, even for you, Beckham.”
Okay. I couldn’t blame her for thinking that was my
motive. “I mean it, Taylor. I’m sorry. Benson sent—”
“An email to the entire team, yes, I know,” she
intervened, breathing thickly because of her efforts of
trying to push me. “I helped him compose the fucking
email.” I grimaced and she nodded, enjoying my
astonishment. “That same day you accused me of working
with Nate, Benson called me later to explain the situation.
Because, if you’ve forgotten, I’m part of the staff.”
If it was possible, my guilt grew heavier. All this time, I’d
been seething, shaming her and giving her the cold
shoulder when she had nothing to do with Nate. And she
knew the truth all along, but didn’t try to clear her name
with me.
Because she didn’t care.
She couldn’t care less about what I thought of her. I was
like dirt under her shoe and the last person she’d run to for
help—if the situation at the party proved anything. I didn’t
know how to feel about that. Although they were mostly
filled with anger and confusion, my thoughts still heavily
circled her.
And she couldn’t even care less about my existence.
“Taylor—”
“Stay out of my business.” She took a step back. “My life
is none of your concern. And don’t you dare pretend to
care,” the words left her in an angry hiss. “If you truly
cared about me, you would’ve asked me for my version of
what went down with Nate, but you didn’t. So don’t try and
shove yourself back into my life now that you think you can
be the knight in shining armour.”
There were so many things I wanted to say, but I
couldn’t. We stood staring at each other for a few tense
seconds, Nyx’s chest rising and falling with her heavy
breaths. She was right, she was completely right, as
always. I had no right to propel my way into her life when I
was the one who had decided it wasn’t worth staying.
Nyx may have been the one to cause the rift but it had
been me that hadn’t tried to shut it. I allowed it to grow
bigger until we were on opposite sides of what could’ve
been. With one last withering glance that made my balls
want to shrivel and crawl up into my ass for security, Nyx
went back into the house.

I was late for fucking practice again. If Professor Martin

was going to keep this shit up, I’d have no choice but to
report her to Dean Waverly. Our first match of the season
was on Sunday and today was our last practice. Thankfully,
it wasn’t as bad as last time, just by a few minutes. Parking
my car, I hopped out and rushed into the building. The
foyer was empty, the opposite of what it would look like on
Sunday.
I enjoyed game days. The place was always filled to the
brim and the air clogged with cheers and yells, the sound
of skates on ice, and the sound of the hockey stick knocking
the puck. A crowd decked in our colours whilst chanting
our names. It was absolute bliss. I passed the rink and saw
the first and second teams on the ice. Maddox, the
centreman from the second line, replaced me for the time
being, and Kayden, the centreman from the third line, took
Maddox’s spot.
Sebastian stepped into the role of the captain and it was
always an impressive sight to witness. He was colder than
me when it came to supervising his team. His instructions
were clipped and he never spoke more than he needed to.
But he was fucking great at it which was why he was the
alternative captain for the USC Trojans. His position was
made clear by the “AC” on his jersey.
Whenever I was close to the ice, a thrill shot through my
veins, as if my body knew where it needed to be. Like any
college student, there were rumours around campus
regarding me. Many seemed to believe that my position
and captaincy were because of my dad’s influence. I didn’t
have the energy to contend with every single person who
gossiped about this. My team knew the truth and that was
all I needed. I’d climbed my way to the top, like any other
determined person. There had been no pressure from my
dad where he’d made me attend hockey classes growing
up. He hadn’t placed me in a box and decided to live
vicariously through me now that he was older. No, my dad
had rarely spoken to me about hockey as a boy. I’d learned
to love the spot by witnessing how much he loved it.
My success as a hockey player stemmed from the fact
that I enjoyed doing what I did.
Sebastian nodded at me as I passed the rink. From the
corner of my eye, I saw Indigo resting in the bleachers.
From what I remembered Grayson telling me yesterday, the
girl had a cold and was booked off from school for the
week. She was bundled in a thick pink jacket and matching
pants, a fluffy hat on her head with kitten ears and gloves
on her hands. When she caught me looking, she hid
beneath the seat and I laughed. Nyx probably didn’t know
she was sitting there. Knowing the blonde, she’d seemingly
advised the little girl to stay in Benson’s office; where it
was warmer.
Once I got to the locker room, I hurriedly stripped out of
my clothes and put on the uniform that felt like a second
skin to me. The padding had been exasperating at first, but
I’d gotten used to it. I grabbed my skates and slipped them
on. Keeping my skate guards on—a hard plastic covering
for the blades—I left the locker room in search of Benson’s
office.
 I had a late slip, one that Professor Martin had
condescendingly written for me when I’d told her I was late
for practice. Benson was on the ice so I’d just leave it on
his desk. The slip held zero importance and Professor
Martin knew that. She just wanted to piss me off. Without
knocking, I opened the door and an ear-shattering shriek
embraced me. There was a resounding thump and I froze. I
wondered if Nyx had caught Indigo in the time I was
dressing and sent her back to the office.
Benson’s desk was buried in drawings, crayons, and
some storybooks. The chair was pushed to the back and I
guessed Indigo had flung herself to the floor. After what
had happened with Grayson, I needed to caution myself
around her. And here I was barging into the room like an
idiot. I strolled around the desk to help her up, only to be
confounded.
Tucked away underneath the desk was a small figure,
arms wrapped around her knees. But there was no fear in
her expression like I’d expected; there was excitement. Her
cheeks were flushed and her eyes shut in expectation.
Like Indigo, she was dressed in thick clothes, a blue
bomber jacket and grey sweatpants. But she wasn’t
wearing a hat, her long blonde curls tumbling down her
hunched shoulders. Shyly, she peeked one eye open.
And suddenly I was looking at a replica of Nyx.
Now that the girl’s features weren’t scrunched in
anticipation, it dissolved into a face I knew all too well. She
had the little nose, the wide blue eyes and the full lips. I
may not have known Nyx when she was younger, but I’d bet
good money that this was what she’d looked like at that
age.
Was this God’s way of fucking with me for hurting Nyx?
Was he sending the ghost of her past to taunt me? Her
present self was already ignoring me since yesterday at my
house. She’d give all the training programs to Grayson who
would then relay them to me, even the information
regarding tomorrow’s fundraiser.
“Who are you?” a delicate voice spoke up and my
attention veered back to the blonde underneath the table.
She sounded puzzled and she tilted her head in the same
way that Nyx did.
Something burned in my chest. She had three siblings
that I didn’t know about. Even when we were on good
terms, I had no idea about them.
I blinked to rid myself of the stupor I was trapped in and
held out a hand. “Beckham.” She gingerly placed her hand
in mine and I helped her up. “And you are?”
For my sanity’s sake, I hoped I wasn’t talking to a ghost.
Her hand felt real enough.
“Poppy,” she countered, looking marginally
dumbfounded as she peeked at the door.
I placed my late slip on the desk, gathering the drawings
into a stack so that Benson would easily find my slip. “What
were you doing under the desk, Poppy?”
Poppy angled to face me, shaking her head as if just
remembering that I was there. “Hiding.” My hands halted
their actions of organising Benson’s desk. “We’re playing
hide and go seek.”
Remembering the sound she emitted when I’d entered
the office, I sought, “Do you always scream when you play
hide and go seek?” Poppy’s entire face turned red. “That’s
kinda a direct lead to find you.”
She crossed her arms over her chest, jutting out her hip
and I contained a smile. This was definitely a little Nyx.
“For your information, Mr Beckham,” I raised a brow, “you
caught me off guard as I’ve been hiding for some time.”
“Who’s seeking?” I inquired, already having a feeling
about who the answer would be.
Poppy confirmed my suspicions by saying, “My sister,
Indigo.”
 I chuckled heartily, running a hand over my face.
“Indigo’s watching practice.”
“I figured,” Poppy shrugged, taking a seat at the desk
and reaching for her abandoned book next to her
schoolbag. “I’d watch practice too but it’ll only make me
miss volleyball.”
“You play volleyball?”
The little blonde beamed at my interest in the sport.
“Yep! But I haven’t been playing for the last few weeks and
I was looking forward to it, but Coach put me off for
another two weeks.” She lifted her legs and shook her boot-
covered feet. “I had a sprained foot. Needed physiotherapy
and everything.”
“A coach’s concern would always be their players. They
want to be sure you’re healed,” I explained to her,
acknowledging that she was disappointed. Coaches would
be even more sceptical if that injury was sustained during
practice or a game. “Did you sprain your foot playing
volleyball?”
And there it was. Fear meandered along the boundaries
of her iris, weaving with the luminous blue colour, eclipsing
it slightly.
Her voice came out delicately. “No. I fell. At home.” I
nodded, deciding not to question her further. She looked
dismayed enough. Abruptly, her tone changed to one of
weariness as she pointed to my jersey. “Hey, you’re the
captain that made my sister cry.”
My spine went stiff at her words. “I think you’ve got me
confused with Grayson—”
Poppy was adamant that she was correct. “No. Turn
around.” Another hint that she was a miniature version of
Nyx. Sighing, I twisted around as she read the back of my
jersey. “You’re Hunt, the captain that made my sister cry.”
Perplexed, I turned to face her again. Seeing my confusion,
she spoke again. “Don’t even bother asking what she said.
Annie says I’m not supposed to use words like that.”
 Nyx. I made Nyx cry. Again.
Before I could say anything else, Nyx entered the room,
Indigo in her arms. They were yet to notice us. Indigo was
pouting as Nyx admonished her. Seemed like she got
caught hiding in the bleachers.
“You’re supposed to be sick, Indie,” Nyx groaned,
standing strong against the puppy eyes her baby sister was
giving her. “Sitting in the cold won’t help which is why I
asked you to stay here.”
Seeing Nyx and Poppy in the same room made the
resemblance more obvious. The latter chose that moment
to speak. “We were playing hide and go seek. I was seeking
and Indie was hiding.” Nyx’s features softened but
immediately hardened upon locating me. “So please, don’t
be angry at her.”
Nyx placed Indigo down on the ground and the girl
happily barrelled into Poppy, whispering her thanks.
“A word.” Nyx left the office and I followed, closing the
door behind me. The thud that sounded right after was
confirmation that Indigo and Poppy were pressed against
the door, eavesdropping. “Listen—”
“Whatever you’re thinking, don’t,” I cut her off, already
backtracking. “I know your opinion of me is low, but not
even I would use kids to get what I want.” I wasn’t even
angry about her assumptions. I had no right to be. “Three
siblings. I never would’ve guessed.”
She curled her lip into a grimace. “And what’s that
supposed to mean?”
I shrugged. “It just seems like something you’d mention
on the first date. Or the second. Maybe even the third.”
Her lips pursed. “We never dated, Hunt. I didn’t owe you
anything.”
I nodded, agreeing with her before saying, “But that’s
only because we agreed not to label what we were.” Her
nose scrunched in irritation and I smirked. “If there’d been
labels, you definitely would’ve been my fucking girlfriend,
Taylor.”
“That’s rich coming from you,” she retorted promptly,
crossing her arms. “Weren’t you reminding me the other
day that you didn’t want me to be your girlfriend?” I
grimaced at the memory of how I’d approached that
encounter in the janitor’s closet. “It’s so like you to commit
only when it’ll benefit you. Use our past against me if you
want but I’m not telling you a fucking thing.”
“I’m not—”
She wasn’t finished. “You wanna know why I never told
you I had any siblings? Let you be any closer than what I
needed you to be? Well, I guess, deep down, I knew you
weren’t going to stay.” Her tone was flat, her stance
completely casual. But I could see right through it, could
see the dismay she endeavoured to repress.
I didn’t say anything, mostly because I didn’t know how
to reply to that. She was waiting for me to say something,
anticipating an argument. But I knew better now, knew that
arguments were her way of changing the subject and
throwing me off. Choosing my battles wisely, I walked away.
Nyx watched me until I rounded the corner, heading for the
ice. I didn’t talk to her throughout practice, letting her
anger simmer down.
And once she was calmer, I would try again.

OceanofPDF.com
I ndigo couldn’t stop bouncing with excitement as I
buttoned up her sparkly coat. I could barely slip the
buttons through the little stitched slits. The bed creaked
with each jump and I let out a sigh of relief when I finished
the last button. She hopped off and dashed towards where
her bag was. Just as she was about to scamper out of the
room, I tucked my finger into the hat of her coat and
dragged her back. She giggled as I pulled her back into my
arms.
I spun her around, poking her tiny nose. “Not so fast,
little monster. You promise me you’re feeling okay?” She
nodded, squirming in my hold. “And you’re not just saying
that because you wanna go with Pops?” She shook her
head.
Annie and I were reluctant about sending her along with
Poppy tonight. She was still recovering from her cold and
earlier when she’d watched the hockey boys practise
without me knowing, I thought for sure the ice had
worsened her cold.
“I promise, Nyxie,” she lifted a hand, her pinkie jutting
out. I beamed, hooking mine with hers. “Pinkie promise.”
Just as I was about to step around Indigo, it was her that
pulled me back, her small hand gripping the bottom of my
sweater. “Are you okay?”
I frowned, staring down at the concerned look on her
adorable features. “What are you talking about?” I
questioned with a laugh, trying to pass it off as a joke. But
Indigo didn’t budge, her warm eyes narrowing.
She hopped onto the bed and patted the spot next to her.
“Have a seat.” Snorting into my hand, I followed her
request and sat down, her hand suddenly on my own. “I
hate seeing you cry, Nyxie.” I went to intervene but she
persisted. “You never cry and when you do—it’s because of
Beckham.”
This was coming from an almost six-year-old.
“Indie,” I began in a soothing voice. “Don’t you worry
your pretty little head about anything, okay? I’m completely
fine.” A lie. But Indigo was five, she didn’t need to stress
about my problems.
Her eyes narrowed again. “Nyxie, you’re my sister—”
“I didn’t notice—”
“And I know you—”
“I’m glad you do—”
Indigo huffed. “But you act a little stonier than usual
around Beckham,” she informed me, her words assembling
a lisp with her two missing front teeth. “You do the same
thing around Daddy—”
My chest tightened at the mention of our dad. “Indigo,
I’m—”
“And I know it’s because you’re scared and sad,” she
finished, looking older than she was. “You tell all of us to
come to you,” she pouted, “but who do you go to when
you’re feeling sad?”
Her eyes were moist with unshed tears and I sighed,
pulling her into a hug. Indigo was a child. I hadn’t expected
her to be as observant as she was. No wonder she’d been
rude to Beckham the first time they’d met at the cafe. I
hadn’t allowed her to meet him before, even when she
would attend games with me. When I’d started gaining
attention from the rest of the team, Annie would take her
and they’d sit separately.
“Do you want me to come to you when I’m sad?” I asked
quietly.
Indigo shook her head. “Not me, maybe Annie. She’s
better with words than me. I just want you to talk to
somebody.” I weighed the little girl’s words, recalling how I
usually bottled everything inside.
Stonier.
She said I was stonier around Beckham. If I admitted it
to myself, I’d always been stony with Beckham, from the
very beginning. Perhaps that was why I’d never told him
about my family. Maybe Indigo was right. Maybe I was
scared. I’d been able to tell Nailea because I could sense
some desperation around her. She needed a friend as badly
as I did. But there was no desperation around Beckham, no
weaknesses.
And that’s what made him so scary.
People that powerful and self-assured were destructive
to people like us; people still trying to find their footing.
“Indie!” Annie yelled from the living room. Indigo looked
up at me, silently asking if I was okay. I nodded, allowing
her to dash out of the room before following. Annie was
standing at the table, brushing Poppy’s hair into a neat
ponytail. The latter grinned widely as the front door opened
and Georgia walked in with her daughter, Julie, next to her.
Georgia was a single mother who had recently moved to
California. Despite being new, she was always volunteering
and helping whenever she could. Alongside all of that, she
even baked occasionally and I was using some of her cakes
at the fundraiser tomorrow. The allowance that each coach
had been given to cover event planning was over enough
and I’d begged Georgia to let me pay her for her hard
work. As expected, she’d refused, but let me pay for half
the ingredients.
Julie had inherited her mother’s good looks and I had no
doubt she’d be a popular girl in high school with her looks
and intelligence. She screeched in excitement and flung
herself into Poppy’s arms just as Annie finished her hair. I
was glad Poppy was making friends. Kids could be harsh
and Julie was like a light arriving at the perfect time.
“Aunty Georgia!” Indigo squealed, her short legs
carrying her to the older woman who threw her in the air
before snuggling her. I beamed at the sight and greeted
Julie by hugging her.
Annie handed Poppy’s bags to her and kissed her head.
“Thanks again for inviting them, Georgia.”
“It’s no problem.” Georgia waved her hand. “Julie’s been
begging for a sleepover since Poppy hurt her foot.” I
laughed at the embarrassed smile Julie wore at her mom’s
words. “They’ve got the entire night planned out.”
Poppy nodded, hooking her arm through her best
friend’s. “Manis and pedis, followed by a skincare routine.”
I raised an impressed brow. “We’re gonna do each other’s
hair and watch all the Harry Potter films.”
Indigo pulled a face and I knew it was because she was
terrified of Voldemort. Georgia spoke up next. “And this
little monster and I are going to have a Barbie marathon.”
Indigo squealed.
Barbie. Why the fuck did everything remind me of
Beckham? He still hadn’t figured out why I’d nicknamed
him Annika. And I doubted I would ever explain why.
Georgia placed Indigo down on the floor and looked at
her daughter. “Why don’t you put the bags in the car.”
Annie grinned gratefully. “Thanks again, Georgia.” The
older woman gestured to our room and Annie followed,
asking me to help the girls to the car.
I frowned at that, wondering what the two of them had
to discuss. Opening the door, I led the girls to the driveway
where Georgia’s car was parked. Julie unlocked the trunk
and I helped stack the bags. With one last kiss on each of
their heads, I pivoted to make my way back inside, a
bizarre feeling in my stomach.
“Therapy working?” I could hear Georgia’s husky voice
through the open room door. My frown was back. Annie
murmured her response. Therapy? Was Annie going to
therapy? That couldn’t be right. She scarcely had time for
herself. “I know it’s difficult, cupcake, but things will get
better.”
I couldn’t hear Annie’s retort. She’s always had a faint
voice so she sure as fuck knew how to whisper. Georgia
sighed before articulating again. “I know she’s not the best
person, but better late than never. She’s attempting to do
something now.” My first thought was that they were
talking about our mom and my blood ran cold.
My ears were ringing. Did Georgia know what our home
life was like? The very idea made a lump form in my throat.
No wonder she’d been offering to help out so much. She
pitied us.
“I just feel so tired.” That was Annie, speaking slightly
louder this time because of the emotion coating her words.
“It’s like this weight on my shoulders, Georgia, and I have
to shoulder it on my own until all of this works out. I
wouldn’t dare try and pass some of it to Nyx. You know how
she feels about the whole thing and the last thing I want to
do is upset her when she has to focus on her studies.”
Georgia seemed to be consoling her because I heard
shuffling. They were definitely talking about our mom, it
was the only topic Annie never brought up with me. I could
talk about anything else, except that. One of Annie’s
greatest qualities was her big heart. She could forgive and
forget.
That, however, was something I struggled with. I felt
slightly guilty that she was shouldering whatever it is that
she was, but what could I do? She’d always been the
mother in this household and I knew she didn’t take
challenging decisions lightly. I trusted her, I always would,
and I reminded myself to ask her if everything was okay. If
it wasn’t, then I would help bear whatever she was
carrying. It was the least I could do whether I despised our
mom or not.
Hating her didn’t permit me to hurt Annie in the
process, however indirectly that may be. Georgia and Annie
spoke for a few more minutes and I occupied myself by
going to the bathroom. I didn’t want to snoop any more
than I already had. By the time I was done, the two women
were waiting in the living room.
“So what do you two pretty girlies have planned for
tonight,” Georgia asked casually and I froze, quickly telling
myself to act normal. Annie still looked frazzled. “Don’t
look at me like that. C’mon, it’s a Friday night. I’m sure
there are lots to do.”
Annie’s eyes drifted to me and I shrugged. “I have a
fundraiser tomorrow so I’ll probably just get some rest.”
Annie nodded. “And I’ve had a long day.”
Georgia scoffed. “Boring. You girls should have a night
out.” Annie and I shared an edgy glance, one Georgia didn’t
miss. “Think about it. You both deserve to do something
fun.”
She shuffled both of us into a hug before leaving. Annie
shut the door behind her, leaning against it with her eyes
closed. The more immature part of me wanted to needle
her about her confidential exchange with Georgia. But she
looked depleted, so I didn’t.
The house was peaceful without Poppy and Indigo. The
two were always racing around, making noise as if they
were trees and the loud sounds they produced were
oxygen. My dad still hadn’t returned and he’d texted Annie
earlier, telling her she shouldn’t bother cooking for him
since he wasn’t coming home. It was the only reason we’d
agreed to let Poppy and Indigo leave with Georgia. If my
dad returned and found them missing, he’d lose his mind,
certain that people were out to hurt his daughters.
It was ironic, honestly.
I looked back at Annie. In just over a month, she’d be
turning twenty-four. Back when we were in middle school,
she would do odd jobs for neighbours to make extra money.
During our high school years, she’d worked part-time jobs
and then immediately after graduating, she had jumped
straight into full-time hours. All for us. It was obvious that
Annie had never gotten the chance to be young. She’d been
an adult for years; a mother, a father. She deserved a night
out.
“You know,” I began, unsure of how to approach this.
Annie’s eyes opened. “Our football team beat UCLA
yesterday.” I didn’t necessarily like speaking about school,
afraid that I’d unintentionally hurt her feelings.
She grinned, eyes lighting up. Ever since I could
remember, Annie had fed off the happiness of others. If you
were happy, it was guaranteed to bring a smile to her face.
“That’s great! First win?”
I shook my head. “I think it’s their fourth win so far. Our
volleyball girls also won on Wednesday.” The baseball team
would play tomorrow morning and then the hockey boys
would take the ice on Sunday for their first match. “They’re
celebrating tonight. At Pulse.”
Nailea had subtly dropped the name of the club a few
times. At least, she thought she was being subtle. But it
was clear what she’d been trying to accomplish. Maybe
Beth would even be there, seeing as she was friends with
some Trojans. They’d decided to take things slow because
of Beth’s mom, from what Annie had told me, but I knew
she was dying to see her outside of a work setting again.
Annie nodded, not taking the bait. “Is that a hospital?”
I grinned at the bewildered frown she wore. “No, Annie.
It’s a club.” Smiling, I added, “And I’m inviting you.” Her
eyes widened. “Why do you look so surprised?”
 She laughed fumblingly, moving away from the door to
pace. “Well, you’ve never invited me before. I always
assumed you were embarrassed by me—”
My lips parted in shock. “Annie—”
“If not that, then it’s because of what happened with
Nate last year,” she pressed on, shaking her head as her
feet hit the floor, wandering in a little circle. I called her
name and she looked up, chagrin in her eyes. “I mean, I
wouldn’t blame you. What happened was my fault—”
“Anabeth!” I blurted, intent on stopping her running
mind. Whenever she got like that, it was difficult to get
through to her. “You know what happened wasn’t your
fault, it was mine. I got us into that mess the second I
decided to help Nate.” I moved towards her, clutching her
chilly hands in mine. I felt rotten about my thoughts earlier,
questioning her conversation with Georgia even though I
knew I had to bear the burden of our mom too. “And I don’t
want us to dwell on the past, okay?” She nodded, breathing
unevenly. “Plus, I could never be embarrassed by you. It’s
clear you’re the hotter sister.”
Annie couldn’t fight the grin that threatened to appear.
“You sure you want me to tag along?”
“Always.”

“I can’t believe we didn’t think this through,” Annie

grumbled as we stood in line outside of the club. A bouncer
remained right at the front, checking IDs. And I was
underaged. “They won’t let you in. And I obviously won’t go
in without you.”
It’d taken us an hour to get ready. Annie had worked so
hard on her appearance—in case she ran into Beth—and
was dressed in a light blue cropped cardigan with a
matching fluffy miniskirt. For the first time in years, she’d
applied a little make-up, and she wore a pair of silver heels.
I wouldn’t let this night end in a disaster, not when my
sister looked this hot.
The line grew shorter and so did Annie’s calm facade.
We both had our IDs with us since we always carried them,
but I doubted the bouncer would be swayed by a nineteen-
year-old and her sweet older sister.
“What if I just briefly wave it in front of his face?” I
proposed, becoming desperate as we grew closer to the
bouncer.
Annie flicked my arm. “And have him briefly toss you off
the side of the building?” The bouncer was big enough to
carry both of us in each hand. Annie pouted as the people
behind us jostled us. “I wore my nicest panties tonight.”
“Anabeth Taylor, are you planning on getting laid
tonight?” I mockingly scolded, deepening her pout. It
seemed like she had the same thoughts as me and hoped
Beth would be at the club.
“Don’t full-name me,” she scowled, watching as I dug
into my purse and pulled out my ID. “What are you—oh my,
are you actually going to wave it past his face?” I nodded,
eying the bouncer who was just a few feet away. “Good luck
being tossed off the building.”
We stopped in front of the large man and I grinned
flirtatiously. His lips never jerked and my smile dropped
somewhat.
“ID?” he sought in a rough voice. Annie trembled
anxiously, gripping my hand as I held my ID in the other.
Before I could say anything, another person spoke up.
“They’re with me, Buffy.”
I shifted to see Beckham leaning against the wall,
dropping a cigarette and stepping on it. If I didn’t hate him
so much, I certainly would’ve jumped him. He wore dark
jeans and a tight white shirt, his tattoos visible through it.
Without a word, the bouncer let us pass.
 Annie, however, stopped, grinning at the man. “Buffy?
Like Buffy the Vampire Slayer?”
He glared at her but she didn’t move from his beefy
side, proceeding to tell him all about how people often
mentioned Annabeth from the Percy Jackson series when
she introduced herself, which was why she went by Annie.
All this with a huge smile. Buffy overlooked her, continuing
to check IDs, but my sister babbled on.
More people shoved past me and I dropped my ID.
“Fuck,” I cursed, stooping down to look for it. But there
were so many people entering the club, plus it was dim. A
whistle sounded through the air and I withheld the urge to
lecture whoever it was, focusing on hunting for the tiny
card.
I felt a sudden hand on my ass, tugging down my dress
that probably rose when I’d bent. On reflex, I straightened
with a gasp. An arm went around my waist, pressing me
against a hard chest and I let out a small sound.
“Let go of me,” I commanded.
Swiftly, I was spun around and I tipped my head back to
peer into Beckham’s eyes, still squeezed against him. He
lifted his other hand, the little card imprisoned between his
long fingers.
“Looking for this?” He bent lower, lips brushing against
my ear as he whispered, “Kennedy.”
Fuck. He was smirking at me, overjoyed with the
information he’d just discovered. He was practically
beaming with this new knowledge and I felt dread fill my
lungs.
“Step away from me.”
He did as requested, still smirking. “Whatever you say,
Kennedy.”
“It’s Nyx,” I hissed, feeling warmth build in my cheeks.
My mom had selected the name Nyx for me, after the
goddess of the night. At least, that’s what she’d told me
when I had asked. My dad didn’t think it was an
appropriate first name by the time I had to get my ID. So he
and my mom had compromised on my second name,
Kennedy, being switched to my first.
But Nyx had always stuck.
“This seems to say otherwise.” Beckham flashed the
little card and I wrenched it from him, shoving it back into
my purse as he chuckled in amusement.
I planned to evade his annoying ass. Beckham Hunt
seemed to think that he had a right to know what went on
in my life. After being an asshole for months, it pissed me
off to know that he thought he could just switch up and I’d
trust him.
My home life was something that I kept locked up. If I
wanted you to know, if I trusted you, I’d give you the key.
But my fear was justifiable. There were dreadful people out
there; if last year was anything to go by. Instead of waiting
for the key, some people would crash through the wall with
a fucking car, causing irreparable damage.
Ignoring him, I reached for Annie’s arm and towed her
away from Buffy. I could tell she sensed something was
wrong with me, but she didn’t probe, allowing me to lead
her to the bar where we ordered shots. Nailea soon joined
us, dressed in a skin-tight red jumpsuit that complimented
her skin tone. With her added spirit, Annie and I drank
more, considering that Nailea was already past drunk.
After what felt like an hour, Nailea yanked me to the
dancefloor since Annie declined, urging us to have fun. She
promised to watch our purses and slapped our asses as we
moved along. My mind was murky because of the liquor
and I was thankful. Sometimes it was better to not think.
Annie must’ve felt the same because when I glimpsed at
the bar, she was ordering more shots.
I twisted around, allowing my body to sway in sync with
Nailea. Her arms wrapped around me and we giggled
drunkenly. The music was deafening and I could feel the
ground shaking. Strobe lights were flickering, making me
see an assemblage of colours each time I blinked. It
probably wasn’t a good idea to get drunk the night before
the fundraiser.
“Damn, look at Beckham!” Nailea screeched in my ear,
making me recoil.
I whirled to where she was pointing and spotted
Beckham seated at a booth, a girl straddling him as they
made out. Her hands roamed underneath his shirt as his
own skimmed to her ass, groping to his heart’s content. He
yanked her hair, exposing her throat so that he could suckle
the soft skin. I swallowed roughly, still swaying with Nailea.
I refused to acknowledge the painful feeling in my chest.
Opposite Beckham sat a very crestfallen-looking Jasper,
attired in blue jeans and a hoodie. He stared ahead at
something, arms crossed and slumped low in his seat. It
looked like he wanted to be anywhere but where he
currently was. By the time I pivoted back around, Nailea
was already grinding against somebody I was sure was on
the football team. The guy was flabbergasted by the
attention he was receiving from the beautiful girl.
I marched away, fully equipped to head back to my
sister, only to find that she was engaged in a deep
conversation with Beth, the latter dressed in jeans and a
cropped shirt. The two were laughing together, sharing
drinks. I’d only be a party pooper if I were to join their
conference. Four out of the five people I knew were
blissfully occupied.
That left one person.
Straightening my dress, I sauntered towards an
unamused Jasper. He was still scowling ahead, but I
couldn’t tell at what exactly. When he saw me advancing,
his brows soared and his frown turned upside down.
“Little goddess!” he exclaimed. Okay, so he was wasted
as well. His dreary character had me anxious for a second.
The bellowing of his speech grabbed the attention of
Beckham, who drew away from who I just recognised was
Melissa, the taunting twin. The latter sucked at the skin of
his neck as his grey eyes found mine. He looked suddenly
uncomfortable and whispered something in Melissa’s ear
that had her grimacing in anger.
Annoyance bubbled within me because Melissa,
somebody I hated, was essentially making out with my
fucking ex. He had the absolute audacity to claim that he
cared when he could fondle a bitch like Melissa.
I snubbed them, thumping down next to Jasper as he
enveloped a brawny arm around my shoulders and dragged
me to his broad chest. A musky scent embraced my nose
and I moaned drunkenly. Nothing was better than a man
who smelt the way he looked—hot as fuck.
“Where’s the rest of your team?” I questioned, laying a
hand on his chest.
He shrugged. “It’s just Beck and me tonight. He was
supposed to be my wingman. Clearly, he’s occupied.” The
man in question peeked at us, transferring Melissa so that
she sat next to him. She pouted, looking disturbed. “Didn’t
expect to see you here,” Jasper murmured, looking
somewhat apologetic for Beckham’s actions. I always forgot
that his entire team knew what went on between us.
“Last minute decision,” I responded, ignoring the fact
that Melissa was trying to crawl back into Beckham’s lap.
I must’ve been doing a pretty shit job at concealing my
thoughts because Jasper was cupping my jaw, gently
turning me to face him. “Hey,” he mumbled, tucking some
hair behind my ear, “ignore them, okay?”
The uneasy feeling grew.
“I’m unbothered,” I replied with a forced smirk and
Jasper sent me a flat look. “If anyone here is bothered, it’s
you,” I persisted, discerning that his eyes gravitated to the
dancefloor again, transforming into that familiar glare. I
followed his stare, locating a couple dancing intimately. The
girl was unfamiliar but I knew Stefan; a member of the
football team. His bright blue hair made him easy to spot.
“Which one are you pining for?”
Without missing a beat, Jasper replied, “Him.” I watched
Stefan drag his hands down the girl’s front, swaying with
her. “He invited me, seeing as his team won, to celebrate.”
Jasper scoffed, placing his hand over mine and rubbing
circles. If I wasn’t as tipsy as I was then I wouldn’t have
been so open to his touch.
Unbeknownst to Jasper, Stefan had glimpsed over while
he was talking. I raised a brow, cupping Jasper’s jaw and
turning him to face me. I pressed a kiss to his cheek,
disregarding his bewildered laugh and momentarily
peeping to the side. Stefan had floundered for a second
before promptly swaying with the girl again.
I rolled my eyes, comprehension dawning on me. “Men
are so childish,” I grumbled, flinging my leg over Jasper’s
lap and straddling him. His hands went to my hips,
confusion in his eyes. “He’s trying to make you jealous. And
by the looks of your attitude for the past few minutes—it’s
working.”
One of the first steps of flirting was to never look too
interested. Your significant other would use it to their
benefit. And Jasper was one of my own. There was no way
I’d let him be at a disadvantage.
Jasper’s astonishment was obvious and I rolled my eyes
again. “Really?” He tried to peek around me, but I yanked
him back. “What was that for?” he urged, rubbing the back
of his neck.
“Don’t be an idiot,” I admonished. “Let me handle this. If
he’s going to treat you like an option, show him you have
options too.” I dragged my nose across his jaw and he
shuddered. “Is this okay?” He nodded. “Now, I’m going to
kiss your neck and you’re gonna be a good boy and stare
Stefan in the eye. Okay?”
He nodded again and I dipped my head forward, placing
small kisses on his neck, easing towards his jaw. Sucking
gently, I heard him groan and I elevated my gaze, seeing
him gazing ahead. Upping my game, I propelled my hips
forward, grinding against his crotch and he let out a deep
moan, eyes rolling to the back of his head.
I tilted my head back, finding Stefan frowning at us, his
girl long gone. From the corner of my eye, I could see
another hormonal man observing us with a scowl;
Beckham. Seemed like his girl had left him, too. I smirked
at him, running my tongue over my teeth and smiled as
Jasper nipped my collar bone. Beckham’s gaze dropped to
where my hips were moving against his friend. His jaw
clenched and I stifled a laugh. Jasper’s hand caught my
nape and he drew me forward, pressing his lips to mine.
We were both intoxicated which made things all the
more fun. I nipped at his bottom lip and he groaned, trying
to slide his tongue into my mouth, but I wouldn’t grant him
access. He yanked my hair and I gasped, providing him
with an opportunity to brush his tongue against mine. My
hips didn’t stop moving and it was plain how much Jasper
was enjoying our make-out session.
My hands went to his stubbly head, working across the
short strands and he chuckled against my lips before
stating, “Sorry, darling, you have nothing to grab onto.”
I pulled away slightly, feeling giggles develop in my
throat. “How about I go to the toilet and get a plunger?”
Jasper exploded into a frenzy of laughter and I
accompanied him, tears leaking out of my eyes. An ache
settled in my stomach the longer I laughed and Jasper
tugged me close when I nearly tumbled off his lap.
A throat cleared; I shifted to see Stefan there, looking
awkward. “Hey, you wanna go grab a drink?” he urged
Jasper, who was drying his teary eyes. The latter peeped at
me and I simpered, sliding off his lap.
He stood up, peering back at me as if I was his mentor
or something. I snorted. “Go ahead, darling. Once you’re
done, meet me in the toilet,” I smirked. “You know what’ll
be waiting for you.” I ran an innocent hand over my head
and Jasper pulled a constipated face, striving to restrain his
laughter as he marched away. “Go! Diego! Go!” I hollered
after him, snorting when he raised his middle finger before
leaving with Stefan.
Beckham was still looking at me, but I avoided his stare.
My eyes were trained on Melissa as she stood sulking with
her friends, no doubt upset that Beckham was no longer
paying attention to her. Two birds with one stone. Jasper
had gotten the attention of Stefan and I’d pissed off
Melissa.
Maybe even three birds with one stone because
Beckham looked angry as fuck.
Melissa stomped her foot as she explained something to
her friends and they all glowered at me. I lifted a hand and
wiggled my fingers in an innocent wave.
“They don’t even know me, but they hate me because
Melissa does,” I mused and leaned back in my seat,
knowing that Beckham was listening. “I love it when they
play follow the leader with me. Fan behaviour right there.”
I wobbled onto my heels, straightening my dress for the
umptieth time.
Almost tauntingly, I sashayed towards Beckham. He
didn’t move as I tipped forward, giving him an eyeful of
cleavage whilst my hand slipped into his jeans pocket.
When I pulled out a scrunched twenty-dollar bill, he raised
a brow. “You didn’t think I gave shows for free, did you?”
I shoved the money into my bra and turned on my heel,
feeling his eyes on me the entire way to my sister.

OceanofPDF.com
F or some reason, I knew I shouldn’t have shown up at
the club tonight. It was a gut feeling, but when
everyone else claimed to be busy, I knew I couldn’t
disappoint Jasper. He’d been pining for Stefan for months
now and this was his opening. So I agreed. And now I
regretted my decision.
“Sorry!” Nailea drunkenly blurted, both hands pressed
to her mouth as she gawked at the humongous beer stain
on my white shirt. An acting career was out of the question
for her because she was sniggering whilst simultaneously
trying to look remorseful. “I tripped.”
The lie was evident and I cursed, pulling at the now
sticky material of my shirt. This was payback at its finest.
She was doing it for Nyx.
“You threw it at me,” I informed her, making her laugh
louder. Just a few seconds ago, I’d watched Nailea dash
towards me before she flung the entire cup, snickering as it
spilt on my shirt. I didn’t have a spare one and I was
somewhat glad that Nailea gave me an excuse to go home.
As I was about to step away from her, I halted. “How are
you getting home?”
 She was unmistakably drunk out of her mind and in no
state to drive. Her intoxicated state paired with the fact
that she was somebody many students regularly lusted
after was dangerous. There were some sick fucks out there.
“Hitching a ride back to the dorms,” she countered,
sulking because I probably didn’t give her the pissed-off
reaction she was anticipating. She’d done me a favour.
I nodded, turning on my heel and shifting through the
crowd to get to the toilet. Once I was there, I hauled off the
shirt, groaning as the beer dribbled from it. With an
annoyed sigh, I hurled the entire shirt into the trashcan.
Tipping over the counter, I splattered my face with some
water, soaking a paper towel into it to wipe at my sticky
chest. Beer trickled from my tattoos and I wiped it away.
After I was done, I made my way to the exit, reminding
myself to text Jasper that I was leaving. The latter had
spent the past few hours with Stefan, so he certainly didn’t
need me around.
The cheers grew more vulgar and I frowned, inwardly
questioning who decided to get naked this time. Just
earlier, some guy had shed his clothes like a snake and
flashed everyone his dick. He’d gotten thrown out and ran
away without his clothes. I wouldn’t be surprised if he
ended up getting arrested. I faltered slightly when
somebody fell on me.
Before I could force them away, Jasper stated, “Man, it’s
Melissa.”
A scowl emerged on my face without me even trying. I
hadn’t expected her to be at the club tonight, but there she
was. She’d wanted attention from me and I’d hoped that if I
gave her the ten seconds of having the upper hand on Nyx
that she so desperately wanted—she’d fuck off.
But to no avail.
“And I’m supposed to care why?” I queried rhetorically
as I trailed the path to the exit. People were gawking at my
bare chest, probably expecting to get a second naked show.
Well, they were going to be severely disappointed—because
I was leaving.
Jasper tugged at my pants and I swore, spinning around
to jostle him back, but he looked concerned. “She’s arguing
with Nyx.”
Elbowing him out of the way, I altered my route. “Why
the fuck didn’t you start with that?” As if I could give a fuck
about what happened to Melissa. I was wondering how long
it would take for the two of them to clash. There was so
much tension between them, you could cut it with a knife—
and Nyx would use that knife to slit Melissa’s throat.
Jasper directed me to the bar where a crowd was
appearing around Nyx and Melissa. I noticed Annie
standing behind her sister with Beth, a glowering Nailea by
their side. Maxine appeared neutral, not standing behind
her twin sister, but not standing behind Nyx, either.
However, it didn’t matter, because Melissa was backed up
by her friends; Lisa and Pippa.
After Nyx had made out with Jasper and stolen twenty
dollars from me, she overlooked me as usual. She’d danced
around with her sister, Beth and Nailea, drinking together
and laughing at people’s dance moves before laughing at
their own dance moves. Until now, Melissa and Nyx didn’t
cross paths again. Things were about to get ugly.
“You walk around campus as if you own the place,”
Melissa snarled, eyes flaring with irritation. Her face was
turning an odd shade. I couldn’t tell if it was because of the
alcohol or because of her rage. “And people are stupid
enough to worship you.”
“Ooh,” Nyx pulled a scrunched face, turning slightly as
she caught my eye. Her gaze faltered on my chest. “You
hear that, Beck? She just called you stupid.”
I scowled at Jasper when he snickered, but Melissa
quickly retorted again, standing taller. She had her height
over Nyx.
 “You’re there on scholarship.” Nyx’s eye twitched, but
she remained gazing at the brunette. I glimpsed at Melissa,
wondering how she knew that. Not even I knew that.
“And?” Nyx shot back. “All you’ve achieved by saying
that is proving my intelligence.” Melissa stepped closer,
and Nyx grinned. “Listen, if you’ve got beef with me—I
promise you it’s one-sided. I couldn’t give a fuck about you,
honestly.”
The blonde turned, grabbing her purse from Annie and
looking ready to leave. Nailea hooked her arm through hers
as Melissa watched on, face becoming redder. I knew the
feeling well. I went through the same thing whenever Nyx
had the last say in an argument, which was regularly.
Melissa’s eyes found mine. I saw her plan before it
happened. She wanted to use that supposed upper hand
she had.
Me.
She looked back at Nyx before stating, “You’re just
jealous!”
Nyx let out a genuine laugh, showcasing the dimples she
buried so well with her perpetual scowl. “Bless your
delusional heart,” she returned, scanning Melissa up and
down. “I didn’t even know Maxine had a twin. Until the
other day, I thought you guys were one person.”
Even I winced at Nyx’s response. That was the worst
thing she could’ve said to somebody as self-absorbed as
Melissa. Jasper cackled without a care in the world and
Stefan, whom I didn’t even notice, was laughing too.
Melissa fumed, yanking her arm away from Maxine who
tried to lure her sister away.
“You little bitch!” Melissa roared, taking three steps
forward, seizing Nyx’s bicep and twisting her around.
Before Nyx could even act, Melissa had elevated her hand,
palm landing on Nyx’s cheeks with a resounding slap.
The crowd went silent. Even the volume of the music
lowered. The air went soundless, waiting for Nyx to
pounce, for her rage to spill over. Nailea was floundering,
grappling to come to terms with what had happened and
Annie gazed at her sister in concern, a frowning Beth
gripping her hand.
Nyx stood paralysed, looking at Melissa as if she was an
alien. Slowly, she hoisted a hand to her red cheek, full lips
separating in shock. People hollered for her to fight back.
But she didn’t. From where I was standing, I could see her
eyes begin to flood and I cursed, pushing away from Jasper.
“Don’t bark if you can’t fucking bite,” Melissa smirked,
stepping back triumphantly. Her friends clapped her on the
back. Mutely, Nyx shoved her purse at a gaping Annie and
dashed off towards the toilet.
A second later, Nailea reacquired her footing and
lurched herself at Melissa, tackling her to the ground. The
girl had her claws out and scraped at her face, yelling
obscenities I was sure weren’t English.
Annie looked ready to run after her sister, but I stopped
her. She twirled, confusion in her moist eyes as I inquired,
“How did you guys get here?”
“Booked a ride,” she sputtered out, Beth staring at both
of us in concern.
I nodded, removing my keys from my pocket and
delivering them to her. “I’ll drive you home. Go to my car.
Black jeep with a sticker of the team logo on the back. I’ll
go get Nyx.” Annie nodded, still in a trance. I didn’t stay to
see two bouncers pull Nailea off from Melissa, focused on
my destination.
The hallways were void, seeing as everyone had heard
about the catfight taking place and I used that to my
advantage, jogging instead of having to elbow people out of
the way. My hand was just about to pull on the door handle
when a woman walked out and blundered into me.
In her inebriated daze, her hands ran over the exposed
skin she found. I cleared my throat and she looked up,
seeing the anxiety in my features. “She’s a mess.”
 And that’s all it took for me to weave around her and
push open the door. What I witnessed made my heart drop
out of my ass.
Nyx stood arched over by the counter, wheezing. She
was muttering something and a hiccup followed each word.
But she wasn’t crying. Annoyed, she jerked at the edges of
her hair, a habit of hers. A dry sob left her, followed by
another. Then another. And then she was panicking, hands
going to claw at her throat.
Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. She was mumbling
it to herself. It was almost as if she didn’t want herself to
cry, wouldn’t allow that vulnerability to flash through.
She gagged, speeding towards a stall and throwing
herself to her knees. My feet propelled me forward and I
followed her into the stall, squatting next to her and
holding her hair back. But there was no vomit. She was just
dry heaving.
Gently, I smoothed some baby hair away from her
flushed face. She groaned in agony and I knew it was
because her abdomen was clenching with the intensity of
her heaving. I slipped an arm around her, squeezing my
hand to the soft satin material covering her stomach as I
proceeded to rub little circles.
“Get away!” she shrieked, discerning I was there with
her. Rubbing her face, she sought to shove me away from
her, looking ashamed. All she succeeded in doing was
pushing me onto my ass and I slumped back against the
wall. “Get away,” she chanted, holding back tears as she
scratched at my chest.
Of all people she had to cry in front of, it had to be me. I
could just imagine the inner turbulence she was going
through. In a swift move, I cupped her nape, dragged her
forward and she collapsed into my lap. My arms went
around her, preventing her from escaping. She fought and
fought, cursing me out.
Then she gave in.
 My facial muscles tightened as I listened to her
breakdown, raucous sobs leaving her mouth, body
trembling with the force of it. It was a ghastly sight, seeing
her cry. She was always the most composed person in the
room, reluctant to let anyone get to her. Her tears
streamed down my chest, but I didn’t mind. I peeped down
to see her eyes closed, face scrunched in distress. Her
cheek was still red, some areas welting because of the
rings Melissa wore on her hand. The sight of it made rage
blister inside me.
Nyx hiccupped repeatedly, nestled in my familiar hold. I
couldn’t even linger on the fact that it had been so fucking
long since I’d last held her in my arms. All I could
concentrate on were the cries of distress leaving her lips. I
wiped her tears, pressing my nose to her hair as she
whimpered.
“We need to leave,” I muttered when her cries died
down and her eyes shot open, alarm gleaming within the
blue hues. She shook her head, mumbling her
disagreement in a diminutive voice. “Nyx—”
“I can’t go back out there,” she forced out.
It was an effort to stand up with Nyx clinging to me. The
thought pierced my insides because Nyx never clung to
anybody.
“We’ll take the back,” I informed her, sighing in relief
when she didn’t dispute. I tucked her into my arms as I
steered us towards the back door. When we arrived at the
doors, I spoke, “I need to do something real quick. Could
you wait here—”
“No,” she shook her head furiously, echoing the word as
tears swelled her eyes again. “Please, don’t leave. Please.”
She was begging me. I swore underneath my breath and
pulled her back to me, taking my phone out of my jeans.
“I’m not going anywhere, baby.” With Nyx trembling in my
hold, I clicked on Jasper’s contact. The phone rang for five
beats before I heard his voice. “Jas,” I began, looking down
to Nyx as her eyes scanned the area in terror. “Can you do
me a favour?” He hummed in response. “Find Melissa.”
Nyx froze at my words and I ran a gentle hand down her
side. “With direct orders from me, neither she nor her
friends are allowed at any of our hockey games or any of
our events. Understand?”
“Gotcha,” Jasper acknowledged, sounding enthusiastic
about presenting the news. It would no doubt break their
hearts, seeing as Melissa and her friends were puck
bunnies to the core. I hung up and escorted Nyx towards
the parking lot where my car was.
I opened the back door to set Nyx there, frowning when
I saw Annie in the driver’s seat. “What are you doing?” I
questioned her.
“I’m driving. Don’t worry, I’m sober. Stopped drinking
two hours ago,” Annie replied, inserting the keys and I
watched dumbfounded. “What’s your address?” she queried
absentmindedly, taking out her phone and opening Google
Maps. When I didn’t answer, she looked up at me, quirking
a brow. “Hello?”
Nyx climbed into the car but wouldn’t let me close the
door, sticking her leg out. She was still in a stupor, refusing
to speak.
“Why do you need my address?” It was supposed to be
the other way around. I needed their address so I could
take them home.
Annie pulled a face, momentarily glancing at her sister
as she reached for me again. “Um, duh. We’re going to your
place. Now get your ass in the car.”
Were all Taylor women like this?
“And why are we going to my place?” I pressed, trying to
close the backdoor but Nyx still wouldn’t let me.
The brunette gazed at Nyx, eyes softening and losing
their luminosity. She then turned to me. “Same reason I’m
driving. She’s not gonna let go of you.” I apprehended then
that Nyx wasn’t being stubborn by refusing to let me close
the door. She wanted me next to her and wouldn’t let me
close the door until I climbed in. Annie must’ve seen the
puzzle in my eyes because she mumbled uneasily, “She
associates you with safety right now. There’s no way she’s
letting you go.”
Her words made frost form in my veins. She uttered
them with knowledge as if she’d been in my position
before. “You say that like it’s a frequent thing.”
I could easily tell the difference between Nyx and her
sisters. They wore their emotions for the entire world to
see. Fear. The same emotion I’d seen in Poppy before when
I’d questioned her about her foot. The same emotion I’d
seen in Indigo when Grayson had raised his hands. And the
same emotion I could see in Annie’s eyes right now.
So instead of questioning her further, I climbed in,
drawing Nyx to my side as I shut the door. Annie nodded
shakily, starting the car. I gave her my address and let her
drive us to my house. Grayson was probably asleep by now,
but Sebastian would still be awake, watching a movie in
bed. The drive lulled Nyx to sleep and after a few minutes,
her head dropped to my chest.
“I’m sorry for the inconvenience,” Annie whispered, eyes
levelled on the road and I frowned, unconsciously running
my fingers through Nyx’s hair. “My mind was all over the
place and I shouldn’t have let you go after her. Usually, I’m
in your position when she gets like that. I should’ve known
better than to let somebody else take over.”
I swallowed roughly, looking at the sleeping girl as
Annie practically screamed the answer to the question that
had been plaguing me.
“Does somebody usually hurt her?” Annie’s lips quivered
and my hold on Nyx stiffened. “Her low tolerance for men,”
I spoke slowly, allowing myself to voice my assumptions.
“It’s a man hurting her.” Annie didn’t reply, but she didn’t
need to. I’d been right in my assumptions after all.
 Annie’s phone rang and I listened to her assure Beth
that they were okay. The concern in my childhood friend’s
voice made me think back to what my mom had told me.
The realisation quickened when I saw the small blush Annie
sported when Beth made her promise to call her in the
morning. It took a lot of convincing, but Beth eventually
hung up. The rest of the ride was hushed and Annie turned
off the car when we pulled up outside. I slid out of the car,
hoisting Nyx and holding her sleeping form to me as I
marched to the front door.
“Pocket,” I told Annie and she removed my house keys,
unlocking the door. It was dark inside, but I knew the area
like the back of my hand. I trudged up the stairs, stopping
in front of one of the guest rooms that the team sometimes
piled into.
I kicked open the door and flicked on the light.
“Bathroom’s through there.” I pointed to a door. “Careful,
though. You share it with Grayson. His room is on the other
side.” Annie nodded, dropping their purses on the bed.
“There should be some shirts in those drawers. The boys
always leave their shit behind. You’ll maybe even find some
shorts or sweats. Extra blankets are in the basket over
there. I think Beth even left clothes here before.”
“Thank you,” Annie muttered, gratitude dripping from
her words and tone. I nodded stiffly, still holding Nyx in one
arm as I pointed to random spots in the room. Annie tugged
at a strand of her sister’s hair, features scrunching in pity.
“She’s gonna have to stay with you tonight. I mean it when
I say she clings.” It irked me that Annie spoke with such
familiarity.
How many times did they go through this that Nyx was
conditioned to cling to somebody? It must’ve happened
numerous times for her brain to switch off and focus on one
person, for it to become an uncontrollable habit. My throat
burned with the hateful words I wanted to utter.
 Before I whirled around, I urged, “For how many years
have you been in my position?” Annie’s throat bobbed, lips
pursing. “I won’t ask any more questions,” I assured her,
striving to ease her mind. “But, at least give me that.” Even
I could hear the desperation in my voice. It was obvious.
I nearly left because of how long Annie stayed silent. But
at the last minute, she mumbled, “Twelve years.”
And there came that surge of guilt that should’ve
appeared after every bad thing I did to Nyx. When I’d
bullied her, fed into the rumours although I hadn’t believed
in them. That guilt should’ve arrived as a trickle after each
action. But now, after piling up, it was a tsunami. I nearly
staggered as my knees buckled.
Annie wouldn’t look me in the eye and for both of our
sakes, I turned on my heel and left for my room. It was dark
and I flicked on the light. My bedsheets were changed
since that night Melissa had slept here and I’d changed my
curtains as well, wanting no memory of the girl in my room.
I settled Nyx on the bed before going over to my closet.
Swapping my jeans for grey sweatpants, I seized a shirt for
Nyx.
Even asleep, she looked to be in discomfort.
“Nyx,” I shook her shoulder gently. After a few seconds,
her eyes fluttered open. I expected her to panic at the sight
of me, yet she didn’t. However, she did look annoyed at
being woken up. “You need to change into something more
comfortable.” I tossed her the shirt and she barely caught
it.
I entered my bathroom and Nyx followed, presumably
not wanting to be alone. Whilst I wet a clean cloth, Nyx
attempted to change out of her dress. With a small smile, I
unzipped it for her and she mumbled a quiet thanks. I
handed her a new toothbrush and when we were done
getting ready for bed; I held up the damp cloth.
“C’mere,” I murmured, tugging her forward and setting
her on the counter. Stepping between her legs, I held the
cold cloth against her cheek and she flinched. “Sorry,” I
muttered. Once most of the red was gone, I rubbed some
ointment onto the welts to help with the inflammation.
Melissa’s rings had done a number on her. I cupped her
uninjured cheek and she favoured into my touch. “You’re
not gonna believe it when I tell you tomorrow that you
willingly let me touch you.”
Nyx stunned me by laying a hand over my own. “I’m
aware of what’s happening, Beck,” she whispered,
sounding embarrassed. “It’s not two separate people you’re
dealing with. I’m still me.” Her words were small. She
offered me a smile. “I still hate you, asshole.”
But her subconscious associated me with safety and
there was nothing she could do about it. Satan could’ve
been the one to help her and Nyx could do nothing but
cling to him.
To her, I probably was Satan.
I chuckled, taking her in my arms and she pressed her
face into my neck. I could see myself in the mirror above
the counter, see the way she was drowning in my embrace.
My grip tightened.
“I missed this,” she mumbled tiredly, sounding in a
reverie.
That weird feeling inside me returned. “Missed me
holding you?” I felt her nod and I gulped. I’d missed it too.
My hand cupped the back of her head, holding her close.
“Who’s hurting you, Nyx?” I asked, hating that it was a
question relating to her in the first place.
She tensed, clinging a little tighter to me. “Beckham,
please,” her words were a mumble against my neck.
I moved away slightly, framing her face in my hands so
she couldn’t look away. Her eyes were swollen, the blue
tone rimmed with red.
“Whether it was one time or a thousand, he laid a
fucking hand on you. He’s gonna pay, Nyx, trust me on
that.” She stayed staring up at me, her features pained as
she let me lean my forehead against hers. “Do you believe
me?”
Any closer and her lips would’ve caressed mine with her
next words. “I believe you.”
With a satisfied nod, I slid her off the counter and
carried her into my room where I placed her on the bed.
She tugged back the blankets, practically drowning in my
shirt. I watched as she stretched back and a second later;
she pulled off a black bra. She tossed it at me and I caught
it, locating my twenty dollars tucked into the lace of it. An
amused laugh left me and Nyx gave me a little smile,
slipping under the covers.
“I think I prefer soft Nyx, she speaks less,” I told her
whilst she reached a hand out to me. Taking Annie’s words
into consideration, I hopped into bed, putting some
distance between us. It took three seconds for Nyx to
obliterate that space by throwing her bare leg over me,
hand finding the right side of my chest. “You’re gonna hate
me in the morning again, aren’t you?”
Nyx was quiet for a beat. “I don’t think I ever hated
you,” she said eventually, not elaborating at all.
It felt like my heart stopped beating. I glanced down to
see her tracing patterns on my chest with her index finger.
The words wouldn’t leave my mind, too much weight
attached to them and I didn’t know whether I was strong
enough to unpack them, to make sense of her whispered
statement.
After a few minutes, when Nyx struggled to fall asleep, I
spoke again. “Somebody who uses their fists in an
argument is weak.” Nyx blinked but said nothing. She
focused on the beating of my heart and I placed my hand
over hers, watching as she drifted to sleep.

OceanofPDF.com
I felt that prickling sensation on my skin and I knew
somebody was staring at me. I could feel it. There was a
soft touch sweeping against my cheek, the very cheek
that Melissa had slapped. Memories of last night infiltrated
my thoughts and I repressed a shudder. I could still see the
amusement in her eyes when she’d apprehended I wouldn’t
retaliate. And for a second, for a split second, I was being
admonished by my dad again.
It was an out-of-body experience. With one tiny slap,
Melissa had unearthed a tsunami of buried emotions. Each
time my dad raised his hands, I never reacted, took that
fear and buried it six feet under the ground. And I trampled
on it every day, refusing to be a victim. Never again would I
flinch, never again would I cry at the hands of a monster, a
bully.
The last time I’d flinched at my father’s brutal touch, I
was ten years old.
Now I was nineteen, and all that emotions were hurrying
back, dead-set on asphyxiating me to make up for lost time.
A feeling of fear built in my chest. I loathed it, didn’t
want it. Fear had no right to be inside of me. I felt violated
by it. But it was there, nonetheless. I could feel myself
disintegrating, the stray pieces being fashioned into that
scared little girl with the blonde pigtails and sparkling blue
eyes. My closed eyelids acted as a screen and my memories
played out before me.
I could see that blonde little girl fleeing to the bathroom
to hide. I could see Annie hastening after her, a three-year-
old Poppy wailing in her arms. I watched them cluster on
the tile, a blanket swathed around them.
Seconds later, a frail woman fell through the door, skin
bruised and eyes swollen. She looked like me. And I hated
it. I watched her fall to the floor with her three daughters,
thin arms binding around them in a makeshift fortress. But
it couldn’t stop the inebriated man that blundered into the
bathroom next. He was yelling, face red, and a bottle of
whiskey in his hands. The bottle tumbled to the floor and
he prowled forward, yanking at the pigtails belonging to
little Nyx.
Annie screeched until her throat was raw, holding Poppy
to her chest as Eliza shouted at her husband, urging him to
let little Nyx go. Eliza launched to her feet, ready to battle
the man for her daughter, but he jostled her back and her
head banged against the bathtub. And she was out cold.
Annie implored him to leave her sister alone, Poppy still
clutched to her chest. But he didn’t.
He was furious and I knew why, could remember that
day so clearly. Little Nyx had emptied all of his alcohol
down the drain. She’d thought that if she got rid of the
liquor that turned her dad into the monster that maltreated
them, he’d be restored. But she was so naïve. Because it
wasn’t the liquor that made him a monster.
He just was.
The intoxicated man hauled her to the kitchen by her
hair and she cried for her mommy, for her sisters. But they
couldn’t go after her because he’d locked them in the
bathroom. Little Nyx was frightened. Her dad filled the sink
with ice-cold water and settled her on a broken stool.
Daddy, please, she pleaded, tears gushing down her
chubby face. But her daddy was long gone, substituted with
a void of a human being. He clawed his hand into her hair,
cupping the back of her head. Daddy, please, she
whispered, eyes glowing with tears.
Matthew Taylor glowered at her and pushed her face
forward into the water, keeping her there as she screamed,
bubbles accumulating. He kept her there for a few seconds
and she was trying to shove away, but he was more
powerful than her. He yanked her out, stared down at her
red face as she convulsed from the lack of oxygen.
Daddy, please! Her words were a scream this time, fear
suffocating her. She didn’t want to drown. With another
scowl, he pushed her back into the water, barely allowing
her to take a deep breath.
Her lungs were burning, a fire churning there. She
clawed at his arms, but it was futile. If she hadn’t been
submerged in the water, she would’ve heard her big sister’s
anguished shrieks as she pounded against the locked
bathroom door, clawed against the worn wood until her
nails were splitting and bleeding.
Matthew lifted little Nyx again and she heaved for air,
sobbing hysterically. She was choking, eyes bloodshot and
head pulsating. Her dad swore at her, blustering about
respecting him but she could barely hear him over the
ringing in her ears. She breathed in deeply before she was
pressed into the water again.
When he pulled her out after a few seconds, she wasn’t
crying. She didn’t scream. She didn’t beg him. She didn’t
look at him. Because she realised then that it wasn’t her
disrespect that was the problem.
It was the monster that held her in his clawed hands.
For the last time, he jostled her back into the water. Her
arms dangled limply at her sides, eyes closed as if she was
resting. Her lungs were blazing again but she welcomed
the sensation. It told her she was still alive, that he hadn’t
broken her yet. There was a raucous, continuous crash. For
the first few seconds, Matthew overlooked it. But then he
let go of little Nyx to investigate, telling her he hoped she’d
learnt her lesson.
Slowly, she laid her shaking hands on the counter and
pulled her face from the water. Her hair was sopping, face
a bright red shade, matching her eyes. Her chest moved up
and down at a rapid pace, striving to get back the oxygen
her lungs had been deprived of. In the background, she
could hear screaming. In a stupor, she climbed down from
the stool and followed the shrieks.
She discovered Annie in the hallway, her hand pressed
to her bruised cheek as Matthew stood over her, yelling.
That’s when little Nyx saw the foundation of his anger.
There was a humongous hole in the bathroom door, made
by Annie with the hammer she’d found in the cabinet. She’d
obliterated the wood in an attempt to get to little Nyx. Even
in her groggy state, little Nyx propelled herself to Annie’s
side, gripping her. Angrily, Matthew raised his hand.
But little Nyx didn’t flinch. And she never would again.
“Nyx!” I felt myself being rocked vigorously and my eyes
flew open, meeting the stare of Beckham. I was panting
and his eyes were wide. He let out a loud sigh when he saw
I was okay and dropped back onto the bed. “I thought you
were having a fucking seizure.”
Not a seizure. Just a nightmare. I keened, feeling the
sunlight hit my puffed eyes. “Why the fuck are your
curtains open? Some of us are vampires, bitch.”
“And she’s back,” Beckham mused with a smirk, rising
out of bed and stretching. His grey sweatpants hung low on
his hips, exposing a rather prominent v-line. The muscles in
his arms bulged as he yawned and I felt my mouth water.
No, Nyx. I internally berated myself.
 I pushed out of bed, doing my own set of stretching and
feeling Beckham’s eyes roaming over me. “Are you staring
at me or did you have a stroke?”
Beckham scoffed, trudging to open his windows. “I think
I’d prefer the stroke over you.” I grinned, trying to tame my
hair. He wasn’t being awkward about what had happened
last night, thankfully, but I knew he had questions. After a
silent five minutes of him making up the bed and me
brushing my teeth, he urged, “You okay?”
“Ah,” I sighed as he passed. “The age-old question.
Sorry, Bucko, but the answer is one of the world’s
anomalies.”
Beckham scowled at me, leaning down to wash his face.
The stream of water made me freeze which was why I’d
wiped my face with a cloth. I didn’t want to lean over the
sink, not when that memory was so fresh.
Beckham discerned my expression and I twisted away.
“No, I’m not,” I confessed.
He followed me back into the room, frowning. “Look,
I’ve been doing some thinking.” I tensed and he instantly
appended, “And I’ve realised that you must have a good
reason if you’re enduring the abuse. You’re right, I can’t
just force myself into your life and demand to know what’s
happening. But I meant what I said last night.” He shook
his head, tugging anxiously at his hair.
I watched him pace and other memories came rushing
back. I remembered the distress in his eyes, and the rage in
his voice as he asked Jasper to confront Melissa. I
remembered his delicate touch as he stroked my hair
during the car ride. I remembered how tenderly he had
carried me, cleaned my face, and held me as I fell asleep.
My memories took me even further back, to before Nate.
Beckham had been gentle with me even then. A man had
never touched me so softly before; as if I was a glass rose.
And of all people, it was Beckham.
 I never hated him, I had to admit that one truth that I’d
shielded with lies in an effort to protect myself.
I never hated him. How could I when, subconsciously, I
knew he was the first man I’d ever let myself trust—no
matter what came afterwards.
My words were a whisper. “Thank you.” I wasn’t looking
at him, afraid that I’d cry. And we didn’t need cry-baby Nyx
returning. This moment between us was territory we hadn’t
stepped foot on in a very long time and I could tell he felt
the same way because he nodded tensely, scratching the
back of his neck. To ease the tension, I stated, “Your dick is
hard,” and pointed to the bulge at his front. “I’ll accept it as
morning wood, this time.”
Beckham grinned. “That would be a lie.” He didn’t offer
any explanation, but I didn’t need one. I checked the time,
deciding to go home before heading to the hall to set up for
tonight’s charity event. “Are you gonna go back to being a
bitch to me again?” He was smirking and I laughed,
deciding not to bring up his mention of a truce.
“Of course, can’t have people thinking we’re going soft
on each other,” I countered smoothly, picking up my bra
and dress.
“I’m anything but soft right now, baby,” he retorted and I
glimpsed at him, lips twitching. “I’ll let you change and
send your sister in.” He winked, heading for the door.
It was as if he knew just what I needed; for the situation
to be made light of. Because if I focused too much on it, it
would drag me down.
Just as he left, I yelled out, “Not your baby!”
His laughter wafted through the air and I shook my
head, sitting down on the bed and trying to rid myself of my
nightmare. I refused to allow those memories to take over.
They were memories for a reason. Whilst I waited for Annie
to arrive, I planned out my revenge on Melissa.
All because she was an insecure little bitch, she’d
unearthed years of trauma for me. I wouldn’t let that slide.
 After what felt like forever, Annie tumbled into the room,
throwing herself at me. “Oh my God!” she exclaimed,
pressing my face to her chest as she hugged me like a
concerned mother. “Nyxie, I’m so sorry. God, I knew it was
a bad idea to go out last night—”
“Annie,” I tried to calm her down, pushing away slightly
and gripping her trembling arms. “I’m okay, I promise.” I
offered her a smile. “Nothing I haven’t already
experienced.” That was the wrong thing to say because
Annie burst into tears. “Annie, please.”
My sister sniffled, ugly crying with snot and everything.
“You shouldn’t have to be used to things like this, Nyxie. I
shouldn’t have to explain to Beckham the process you go
through because there shouldn’t be a process in the first
place.” She hiccupped violently, her whole body jolting.
“And I couldn’t sleep last night because my mind was
working so hard—”
“You didn’t sleep?” I interrupted. “Please tell me you got
some rest?”
Her hand raised to wipe her nose as she nodded. “Yes,
Beckham warmed me some milk last night—”
I gaped. “What? When was this?”
Annie sniffled again. “You were out cold and I found
Beckham in the kitchen, pacing.” She paused, taking a
moment to gauge my reaction. “He cares about you, you
know? He always has. At least, that’s what Grayson told me
—”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” I cut her off, again, mostly
because what she was saying was scaring me. “And when
exactly did you have the chance to talk to Grayson about
my non-existent relationship with Beckham?”
She blinked owlishly at me. “Before I went to get milk, I
needed to pee but when I went into the bathroom, Grayson
was already peeing. After he got over his initial shock of me
being in his house, let alone his bathroom, we had a
conversation—but that’s not the point!” She cut herself off
this time, a frustrated noise leaving her. “The point is that I
feel even worse because Beckham cares for you and I
ruined it all by allowing you to do what you did for me and
now you’re lonely and sad and it’s all my fault,” she cried,
making zero sense at all. But I let her cry, let her get rid of
the unnecessary guilt she carried.
“Annie,” I called softly, helping to wipe away her tears,
but she wouldn’t listen.
“That was the first time I had a proper conversation with
him and I’d have to be blind to miss the fact that he cares
about you so much,” she continued, shaking her head in
anguish.
“Annie—”
“I can’t protect you from Dad and then I ruin your
relationship with the one man who actually cares for you,”
she beat herself up, eyes wide.
I shook my head. “I chose to help Nate, okay?” I
accentuated firmly, hating that she felt that way. “And
Beckham,” I sighed, “well, he chose to believe what he did.
That has nothing to do with you, you hear me?” She
nodded, my words probably going in one ear and out the
other. So I pulled her into a hug.
“I had a nightmare,” I whispered, moving on from the
subject.
Annie didn’t even need me to explain. “God, what if they
all start coming back? You’ve worked so hard to be rid of
them.”
Shrugging, I replied, “Maybe it was futile. I’ll never be
able to forget. Do you still think about the first time Dad hit
you?”
She slumped. “Not all the time. But no matter how much
time passes since I’ve last thought of it, it’s still so vivid.”
I’d heard this story before. Annie had been nine years
old when our dad first raised his hand to her. On one of the
rare occasions that our dad had visited whilst he and our
mom were separated, Annie had gotten in trouble for
referring to Uncle Robbie as her dad. From what she’d told
me, I didn’t blame her.
Seven years. He’d needed seven years before deciding
his daughters were worth his time. All of his time and not
just random visits when he’d felt like it.
Anybody was better than Matthew Taylor and my heart
ached for a young Annie who attempted to seek fatherly
love from somebody else. It wasn’t a wonder why he
wouldn’t permit her to talk about Uncle Robbie.
“We’re gonna get away from him,” I declared, leaving no
room for doubts.
“I know that,” she smiled sadly. “I just wished it didn’t
come at the expense of losing others along the way.”
Uncle Robbie dying. Our Aunt Indigo dying. Our
grandma disappearing. And our mom running off. All of
them had once been balms that soothed the sting of being
the daughter of Matthew Taylor.
But it was our turn to leave him now; a possibility he
probably didn’t acknowledge. I acknowledged it though. It
had been a possibility since the moment he’d slid that ring
onto my mom’s finger. A way out. I’d already been thinking
of ways out—whether I’d realised it or not.
And that opening was fast approaching.

The white jumpsuit I was wearing didn’t have a blemish on

it and that was an accomplishment considering we were in
the middle of a food fight. The event was halfway through
and already a massive smash. I hadn’t expected so many
people to show up, but we were raising tons of funds. The
first part of the event had been a dinner followed by an
hour break to wander the gardens whilst the boys and I
removed the tables and brought out the forts, setting up for
the food fight.
 I dipped just as an expired cake went soaring over my
head. The desert ended up hitting Sebastian smack dab in
the face. He had a green ribbon around his wrist, implying
his position on the green team. Their members were being
knocked out fast. My ribbon was red. I sped off before
someone had the chance to take me out.
Annie rushed past me, red ribbon around her head as
she dashed forward, pie in her hands. Beth turned around
and the pie descended on her face. Annie was snickering. It
was good to see her beaming after the conversation we’d
had this morning. She was concerned about me, and
rightfully so. But I’d promised her I’d be okay. We had to
focus on our big plan, getting out of my dad’s clutches.
Beckham was right when he’d said I had to have a good
reason. If we were to report my dad, Poppy and Indigo
would get taken away from us. We had no other family
besides our grandma and mom. Annie didn’t have a solid
job and her salary wasn’t enough to cover two kids. I was
still in school and I didn’t have a job. Our girls would be
placed in a home and there was no guarantee that they
wouldn’t get adopted.
Poppy and Indigo had bawled when Annie and I weighed
the pros and cons of them being taken. So we endured the
pain a little while longer. After my internship ended, we’d
have over enough money to break free from my dad and get
a restraining order against him.
I was snapped back into reality when Annie shouted,
“Duck!” A glob of jelly sailed over my head and I saw a
guest rushing away, a blue ribbon around their ankle.
I giggled, following Annie as we zigzagged through the
hallways, ducking behind the shields that the boys had
created out of old desks. Jonas, a defenceman from the
second line, sped past us and we dropped, muffling our
laughter. It was a weird feeling, having this much fun.
My heart ached at the fact that Annie and I had never
had this. We hadn’t had these wholesome games and
laughter when we were younger. Growing up, we’d
constantly been terrified, unsure if our laughter would
cause our dad to have an episode. I wished we’d had that,
had the chance to be kids. But we’d try to give Poppy and
Indigo that. They didn’t deserve to grow up as fast as we
had.
Abruptly, a pie descended from the top, landing on
Annie’s head. She groaned, apprehending she was out and
had no choice but to head to the foyer. Nailea had been one
of the first people to be caught because she’d accidentally
dropped soda on herself. One flutter of her long lashes had
persuaded half the hockey team to give her a second
chance and stay in the game.
But Sebastian was having none of it and had demanded
that she stay out of the rest of the game, regardless of
whether the soda stain was an accident or not.
I sprinted away from Annie, not wanting to be jumped by
whoever had gotten her. A mouldy cheesecake narrowly
missed my face as I ran, thrown by Wesley, the right-winger
from the third line. I flipped him the bird and rounded the
corner, hearing his deep chuckles. I found a tray of old pies
stored under a desk and grabbed one. When Jasper flew
past my hiding spot, I launched the pie, watching as it
missed him and I swore.
My eyes widened when I saw he had a milkshake in his
hand. He smirked, adjusting his route and heading for me. I
squealed through laughter as he pursued me. He was
faster, but I spun around obstacles and hallways.
“Come on!” I hollered, eluding him. “I helped you make
Stefan jealous!” It was low of me but I didn’t care. I wanted
to win. “You owe me,” I continued with a small pout, only
making him laugh harder.
Jasper countered with, “And I helped you make Beck
jealous. We owe each other nothing.” He cackled evilly and
my jaw dropped. There’d been no intentions of making
Beckham jealous. Maybe.
 Just as Jasper was about to hurl the content of the cup at
me, a rotten banana splattered against his face. We both
froze, shifting to see Nailea standing there with a banana
peel in her hands.
I burst out laughing as Jasper barked, “That’s cheating,
Nai. You’re out!”
She dropped the peel and crossed her arms over the
white playsuit she wore. “Nailea Rubio doesn’t play by no
rules, motherfucker!”
Somebody had definitely spiked the punch because she
was clearly wasted. Jasper groaned and stomped off. I
thanked Nailea and was about to run off when an angry
voice rang out.
“Rubio!” Sebastian bellowed furiously, a blue bandana
around his head as he stalked towards us. “Your ass is
supposed to be on that fucking bench because you’re out.”
There was a large pink stain on his white shirt that
looked a lot like a strawberry smoothie. When he stopped
next to us, I got a whiff of said strawberries. Fresh
strawberries.
Nailea’s forehead creased as she swayed drunkenly. “My
ass has nothing to do with you, Halo.”
I jerked when I thought somebody had snuck up on me
and glanced around quickly.
“It’s Hayes and you know it, you little—”
“I don’t like you,” she stated with a pout.
Before Sebastian could yell at her, I interjected, “Aren’t
you supposed to smell like sour yoghurt?” The foods used
during the fight were most definitely not fresh.
Sebastian only grew angrier. “That’s because this
troublemaker over here,” Nailea waved at me with an
adorable grin, “drove to the fucking store after I said she
was out, bought a strawberry smoothie, drove all the way
back, searched for me during the game and fucking threw
the smoothie at me.”
 I felt a laugh crawl up my throat. Sebastian looked
pissed as hell but Nailea was smiling as she said, “It was an
accident.”
I hid behind Sebastian’s tall frame just as somebody ran
past. “Accident my fucking ass,” he riposted, muscles
clenched.
Nailea smiled. “You have a thing for asses, don’t you?”
Sebastian growled, his glass-like eyes narrowing. “If you
wanted revenge, you’ve gotten it, Rubio. But you can’t
fucking interfere with the game. Bench. Now.”
I watched the two, finding the entire thing hilarious.
Sebastian stood at a whopping height of six feet and five
inches whereas Nailea was only five feet tall. Her thick
eyebrows were literally in line with his nipples. But she
glared back as if her height rivalled his.
“Who the hell is Rubio?” Nailea questioned. “I have no
idea who that is.” I snorted. “My name’s Susan and I don’t
know who you are.”
The giant of a blonde swore. “I swear to fuck I’m gonna
drag you by the—”
“Is it because I’m Spanish?” Nailea inquired innocently,
fluttering her lashes.
“I thought your name was Susan?” I asked with a grin,
seeing as Sebastian was on the verge of a meltdown.
Nailea blinked at me. “Who the hell is Susan?”
Sebastian let out a string of curses and tipped forward,
his arm wrapping around Nailea’s small waist. She
produced a mousy squeak as he effortlessly tossed her over
his shoulder. I watched her squirm, fighting to get out of
his hold.
“Stay still unless you want my handprint on your ass,
Rubio,” Sebastian grumbled.
Nailea stayed still.
I was still smirking as they disappeared. Over the
intercom, I could hear Jai’s voice as he named everybody
who was out. Each time someone entered the foyer, he
would call out their name before marking it off the list and
stating how many members of each team were left.
There was one blue person, one red person and one
green person.
I needed to be cautious. Just as I turned another corner,
I slammed into a chest. When I pulled back, I saw it was
Beckham and silently cursed. He was wearing black jeans
and a white shirt—the same as Sebastian. Just as he had
predicted, we’d gone back to being normal, as if nothing
had changed.
He smirked at me, a peeled rotten banana in his hand,
probably planning on crushing it against my face. There
was a blue ribbon around his wrist.
“Beck,” I nodded, smiling and eying the banana. He said
nothing, stepping closer. “It doesn’t have to end like this.”
He squinted and I nearly snorted. “You don’t have to do
this.”
He shrugged. “I dunno, kinda like the idea of winning,
Tink.” Of all people to be left in the fucking game. He lifted
his hand to smash the banana against me but wavered.
And there it was, the true reason it would never be
completely normal between us. Because he was afraid of
scaring or hurting me. No matter how hard he tried, he
wouldn’t be able to do it.
“Do it,” I told him, staring him in the eye, trying to taunt
him and distract him. Perhaps I could get the banana from
him and turn the tables. “Here’s your chance to win at
something. Unless you’re a pussy.” He swore and I lifted a
brow, shuddering at the deep curse. “I know being an idiot
is a personality trait, but for once, don’t be an idiot. Please
—”
A banana being crushed against my face cut me off. My
stomach twisted with revulsion. I hated bananas. And now
a rotten one was all over my fucking face. I wiped away the
mush that was covering my eyes as Beckham grinned down
at me, rubbing more banana on my neck.
 “Sorry, but I like the sound of winning a lot more than
the sound of you begging, baby.”
“I wasn’t begging,” I groaned, trying to clean my face.
“And just for that—” I gripped his arms and spun him
around.
And then a pie slapped Beckham’s face.
The tinfoil plopped to the ground and I could barely see
Beckham’s face through all the cream. He tried to wipe it
away but only worsened it. I helped by rubbing cream all
over his neck, chest and jeans.
I located Benson standing with a green ribbon around
his head, grinning at the fact that he took Beckham out.
“I like the sound of you losing more than I like the sound
of me winning. Baby.” With a triumphant Benson next to
me, I sauntered back to the foyer.
And as usual, I could feel Beckham’s eyes on me.

OceanofPDF.com
“T eenagers are fucking scary,” Sebastian grumbled to
me, watching as a group of teenage girls scampered
past, tittering and waving at us. Each girl was
ornamented in USC merchandise and I discerned Grayson’s
last name on one of their t-shirts. Three of them wore mine
and two wore Sebastian’s. A student had started a small
business selling merchandise to support the different USC
sports divisions. The weirdest thing I’d seen so far was a
bikini with Sebastian’s face on the ass. But at least the little
store was making money.
I took another puff of my cigarette, casting the girls a
glower in hopes that they’d leave. The match against UCLA
wasn’t due to start for another six hours. But there were
always early birds, those that wanted to watch us during
our last practice. Instead of scampering away, the girls
leaned against the wall a few feet away from us. Sebastian
scowled and I groaned, disposing of my cigarette before
heading for the rink.
Benson was on the ice with Levi and Aiden, the wingers
on the second team, running through some last-minute
things seeing as they would substitute for Sebastian and Jai
at some point through the game. Nyx stood to the side,
yelling something at a noncooperative and moody Levi. She
was dressed in black tights with a matching sports bra and
an oversized grey jacket.
“You’re not keeping up with Aidan!” she howled,
marching along the outside of the rink, blue eyes never
leaving Levi, much to his obvious displeasure. “Keep up!”
At her voice, Levi blundered slightly and sent the puck
flying. He whirled on his skates, glowering at the blonde.
“What?” she snapped. “Got a problem?”
He skated closer and I tensed, noticing Sebastian stiffen
beside me. Levi had anger issues and I didn’t like the
thought of him taking that rage out on Nyx.
“You’re my fucking problem!” he bellowed, jabbing a
finger at her and Benson sighed, calling Danny and Jonas
onto the ice, the defencemen from the second team. Like
Levi and Aidan, they needed to be prepared for when they
had to substitute for Oliver and Jasper.
Nyx didn’t bat an eye. “No. Your problem is that you
skate like you’ve got an anchor chained to your balls.” Levi
bristled at her words, but she wasn’t done. “If you keep
skating like that, you’re gonna drag Aiden behind. I’ve seen
you play before, you used to be better. Explain to me why
Aiden’s improving, but you’re slacking?”
She definitely wasn’t beating around the bush. This had
been a dilemma with Levi since last year. When Nate had
been captain, he played favourites. He had favoured Levi
over Aiden and constantly hounded the latter to practice
until his legs felt like they were going to fall off. Thus, Levi
became lazy because he sat on his ass all the time whilst
Aiden improved.
I’d been planning on having a chat with Levi but had no
idea how to admonish him without bringing up Nate. It was
a tough subject for all of us. But Nyx just solved that
problem. And like many other men, Levi didn’t take too
kindly to being reprimanded by a woman.
 “I don’t have to explain shit to you,” he hissed, becoming
frustrated. “You’re not my fucking coach so back the fuck
off.”
Her nose wrinkled. “I know I’m not your coach,
dumbass. But I don’t have to be your coach to see that
you’ve got the ego of a king who thinks he can do no
wrong.”
“That’s ironic coming from Nate’s slut,” Levi retorted
and I felt my fists clench; the urge to beat the fuck out of
him taking over.
But Nyx didn’t let him ruffle her. “Even more ironic
coming from Nate’s little bitch.” Levi’s glare hardened.
“Seems I wasn’t the only one kissing ass to stay on his good
side.” A slow smile took form on her lips. “Yes, I know all
about the favouritism and the effects it’s had on you—”
“You know nothing—”
“You’re lazy,” she enunciated slowly as if she was
speaking to a child. “It’s like you expect Aidan to carry all
the weight, but that’s not how it works. Work together.”
Without looking away from him, she commanded,
“Sebastian! Jai! On the ice!” The blonde next to me wore a
curious expression but moved to put on his skates,
nonetheless. Jai obeyed, grabbing his hockey stick and
stationing himself next to Sebastian. “Oliver and Jasper, go
defend Gray,” she pointed to the goalie. “You two,” she
pointed at Sebastian and Jai, “try to get the puck past
them.”
Piqued, I watched everything unfold. Like two beings
that shared one brain, Sebastian and Jai steadily worked
together, passing the puck to each other as they skated
circles around the defencemen that tried to hinder them.
Sebastian knocked the puck towards Jai and the latter
blasted it forward. It skidded right past Oliver and Jasper
before being caught in Grayson’s hand; effortlessly.
And that was why he was our goalie.
 Our team clapped, but Levi wasn’t dazzled. He turned to
Nyx with a jaded look. “They didn’t even score.”
She raised a brow. “Are you deaf?” He grimaced. “I
didn’t tell them to score. I said to get the puck past the
defencemen. And they did. They worked together, not
separately. Learn to do so before you’re replaced.” Levi’s
fists clenched at the apparent threat. “And before you come
at me for not being a coach, those are Benson’s words, not
mine.”
“What?” Levi looked to Benson for confirmation and
received a grimace paired with a slight nod.
“He was waiting until you pissed us off before he spoke
to you. Unfortunately, I have a lower tolerance for
hormonal men than he does so you’ve gotten your
reprimand early.” Nyx stared at him, no unnecessary
emotion in her character.
Benson sighed. “Why did I even hope that you’d soften
the blow?” Nyx smiled at him. “Soothing voice of a woman,
my ass.”
Levi didn’t get to add his two cents because Nyx’s phone
rang. Benson skated towards Sebastian and Jai, clapping
them both on the back. Aiden stood woodenly, watching his
partner, Levi, scowl at Nyx as she spoke on the phone.
I scanned her for any injuries. She appeared fine, but
that didn’t ease my nerves. Nyx didn’t seem too upset with
my new knowledge of her home life, but that could change
in a heartbeat if I tried to intervene. I could tell she was
trying to deviate things back to how they were before. But I
wouldn’t allow that.
No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t forget how she’d
been whimpering during her nightmare. Her features had
been scrunched in horror and she’d ben pleading
underneath her breath. I’d had no choice but to wake her.
Having her quarrel with me was better than watching her
be in distress. A lot of things made sense now, why she
didn’t speak about her family, why she never spoke about
herself, even when I was on the verge of asking her to be
my girlfriend.
Yes; I would’ve asked her.
“Fuck him,” Nyx seethed and I was snapped back to
reality. Her face was crimsoned with anger as she
conversed with the person on the other end of the call.
“They’re having a great weekend with Julie. Why do you
have to pick them up, Annie?” She nodded as her sister
articulated. “What the fuck does he mean he doesn’t trust
Georgia with his daughters?” Nyx pinched the bridge of her
nose. “As if he even cares. The girls are gonna be
heartbroken that he cut their weekend short. Keep them
with you, take them to the park or something. Dad can
choke on his dick for all I care.”
Dad.
I stood straighter at the allusion to the man in her life. It
had to be him hurting them. It was the only male who had
access to all the Taylor girls.
A dad that hurt his kids.
My blood churned inside my veins. A dad was supposed
to protect his kids. I warned myself to calm down in case I
was jumping to conclusions. She could’ve had uncles, an
older brother I didn’t know about. I’d only agitate her if I
came to my own conclusions.
After another few seconds, Nyx hung up and swung
around, finding Levi observing her. I didn’t even notice him
paying attention to her, too caught up in my thoughts.
Wearing an entertained smirk, he urged, “Daddy
issues?” She didn’t respond, gaze narrowing. “No wonder
you’re such a bitter bitch.”
If it was possible, her face became even redder. She
didn’t bother to respond to him, storming away. Levi
chortled before skating back to the centre of the rink
where Aiden was waiting with a disapproving frown.
Benson caught my eye and tilted his head, gesturing for me
to go check on Nyx. I was going to anyway. I nodded,
following the path she took.
On the way, I passed the group of teenage girls. They
were gallivanting around, praising the team pictures.
Disregarding them, I opened Benson’s office, knowing that
this was a safe haven for Nyx, a place where she could
unwind away from us. Benson didn’t allow the team here
unless he invited us.
“Go away, Beckham,” she snapped, gazing out the
window. Her arms were crossed and shoulders stiff. The
jacket she previously wore was flung onto the couch and
judging by her red-tinged skin, she was getting hot.
I closed the door behind me and sauntered towards her.
It was evident she was unsettled about more than just Levi.
The phone call from Annie visibly perturbed her. Stiffly, I
cleared my throat.
“Wanna talk about it?” She whirled around to face me,
thoroughly confounded and I had to refrain from laughing.
Catching her off-guard was my new favourite thing. “I can’t
help with whatever’s going on at home, but I’m Levi’s
captain. Let me help with this.”
Nyx gazed at me for a few seconds and I took a seat on
Benson’s desk, grinning at all of his notes. The team was
getting somewhere, thanks to the girl in front of me.
“Daddy issues,” she muttered with a scoff and shook her
head. “I hate what it means.”
“Do you though?” I questioned, attempting to alleviate
the mood with a little teasing. If she wanted things to be
normal between us, I’d try. “Have daddy issues, that is.”
Her eyes bore into my soul as she spoke. “I don’t have
any issues. My dad is the one with issues.” She ran a hand
over her face, stepping closer.
And her dad was my central suspect once again. No
matter how much she tried to hide it, despondency trickled
from every word. My temper was back and I forced it down,
not wanting to go into a fit of ferocity. It was the wrong
time.
“Levi’s an idiot.” An idiot that I was going to deal with
very soon. His ass was benched at the next game. It had
been coming for a long time, his attitude only pissing off his
fellow teammates.
Nyx nodded, agreeing with me. “I don’t care, honestly. I
stopped caring a long time ago. I’m just tired of dealing
with idiots like Levi. When Benson first got the boys off my
case, I told him that he shouldn’t interfere when they
proceeded to disrespect me. I wanted to deal with it myself
in case they thought I was cowering behind Benson, but I
know that he secretly reprimands them.”
“He just wants to help,” I proposed, acknowledging that
Benson truly cared about her. But I also knew that Nyx
didn’t enjoy accepting help.
“Even when they try to help, they go about it all wrong,”
Nyx huffed. “I overheard him once, telling you all to respect
me because I just as easily could’ve been your sister or
daughter or mother and they wouldn’t like it if I was
disrespected.” She took another few steps closer to me. “I
deserve respect, not because I’m a woman. Because I’m a
human being. Benson should reinforce that.” She stopped
between my spread legs and I sat straighter.
I planted my hands on her hips, tugging her to me and
she heaved a brow. I smiled. “On behalf of all men that’s
ever underestimated you, I’m sorry.”
She pinched my nose. “You’re one of them, asshole.”
“Okay, I’ll admit. I wasn’t the nicest person to you.” She
scowled and I chuckled before pulling her even closer. “But
—”
The door opened and Grayson poked his head inside. He
eyed our proximity before stating, “Benson wants everyone
on the ice.”
Nyx smiled at him and stepped away from me. It was a
good thing because I had no idea how the rest of my
sentence was going to play out. But what? What had
evolved? I still held some animosity towards her for what
had happened with Nate, but I was finding it difficult to
hold on to that anger when I knew she’d never truly hated
me.
I don’t think I ever hated you.
That seemed to be the only thing I could cling to. With
one last look at her, I followed Grayson back to the rink.

I could feel the sweat dripping down my back, the cheers of

the crowd nearly deafening me. The mouthguard was
beginning to feel uncomfortable because of how long I’d
had it in. We were in the last few minutes of the third
period of the match with the Bruins having scored two
goals and us Trojans four. The sound of skates on ice eased
the tension building in my body. All around me were
players decked in their school colours. Every time I blinked
there was a flash of red and gold that the Trojans wore.
Scattered in between were the signature blue and gold
colours of the Bruins.
Sebastian was skating towards me, easily guiding the
puck as two Bruin defencemen readied themselves for the
approach. He shot it to me just as I was ringed by opposing
players. I tried to skate around them as they fought for the
puck and I managed to shoot it towards Jai. The right-
winger caught it effortlessly—only to be rammed into the
plexiglass like a spoonful of jelly. By the time he pushed to
his feet, the puck was already with a Bruin defenceman
who passed it to their centreman. The latter skated with
the intention of scoring, teammates flanking him in
defence.
Knowing what was about to happen, I prepared myself.
Just as the centreman hit the puck to their left-winger, it
was intercepted by Oliver; our right defenceman. The
redhead immediately hit the puck to an awaiting Jai who
skirted around the players that tried to block him. Finding
his chance, he shot it to me. I caught it with my stick, my
heart in my throat as I skated towards the net. The
defencemen tried to tackle it from me but I feigned a hit to
Sebastian before taking my shot. I watched the puck barely
slide past the goalie’s stick.
Then the buzzer went.
Next thing I knew, I was being tackled by my
teammates, my vision distorted by a sea of red and gold.
Screams erupted from all over as the final minute ticked by.
“Trojans! Trojans! Trojans! Fight on!” It was a repetitive
chant that carried through the rink, one that my team
joined in on as we huddled together. Grayson was slapping
me on the back, his hockey stick held up in victory. He’d
done a great job, blocking four out of six of the Bruins’
attempted goals.
The UCLA team congratulated us before skating off the
ice, their heads held high as they thanked their supporters.
Benson was celebrating with other faculty members, his
expression filled with a mixture of disbelief and pride. My
eyes drifted to the front row, seeing Nyx cheering alongside
Nailea. The two were shaking each other wildly, thrilled
with our first win. I could see my teammates saluting each
other and I felt exactly what this win meant. It was our first
win after so long. Our first win since Nate and our first win
without him. The cheers continued all the way to the locker
room; the boys still completely euphoric because of the
atmosphere.
“Well done, team!” I whooped with a grin, seeing Oliver
and Jai excitedly pushing each other around. Jasper began
banging on his locker just as Benson entered.
He looked at us, seemingly at a loss for words. He ended
up saying, “Bring it in, boys.” We practically tackled him,
each one howling something different. Benson basked in
the attention and I chuckled, muttering that he could
attend our party if he wanted.
Once we were all dressed, there were still many
supporters around that congratulated us on the win. By the
time we arrived back at my place, the party was already in
full swing. The walls of the house were vibrating with the
intensity of the music.
The guys had obtained an entire DJ booth and Aiden was
currently managing it, taking advantage of his position and
making the music as loud as possible. Streamers were
everywhere, a disco ball hung from the ceiling and strobe
lights were blinding me. It looked nothing like my living
room. Even though it was a last-minute party, almost
everybody was present.
It seemed Benson had taken me up on the invitation
because he was at the party, in the kitchen and cramming
his face with food. He deserved to celebrate with us. It was
thanks to him and Nyx that we were doing better. After
Coach Ford had left, I’d thought we were done for. I was a
new captain, Ford was gone and Nate had left our team a
jumble.
But then came Benson, which wasn’t much, but paired
with Nyx—they were a power duo despite being oil and
water.
“Beckham!” A light voice called and I spun around, eyes
landing on a smiling Beth.
She looked happier these days, a fact that I had to
acknowledge considering who her mother was. Although
we were frequently around each other, I was yet to talk to
her since seeing her at the club that fateful night. And
honestly, I wanted her to come to me. It would feel wrong
to make the first move and ask how things were going with
her mom after mine had told me what she’d done.
“Hey, Beth,” I greeted when she flung herself at me with
a hug. Noting that she was very much drunk, I squeezed
her shoulders affectionately before allowing her to step
back. “How’ve you been?”
She beamed, blinking rapidly and I chuckled. “Great,
actually. I’m loving working at the café and I’ve made some
new friends. Did you know Nyx has a sister named Annie?”
She pulled a face at her own words, momentarily forgetting
I was there the day she’d found out. “Yeah, I was surprised
too. But Annie’s cool.”
I was smiling at her rambling, thinking of the way Annie
had blushed when speaking to Beth. “That’s great—”
“Is she here tonight?” Beth cut me off, eagerly peering
around the crowd and making her inebriated state clear
with her wobbling. “I only saw Nyx—holy shit, did you see
the bikini she’s wearing? To die for.” Whether she was
talking about Nyx or the bikini, I didn’t know. But I was
amused, nonetheless. “She’s kinda cool, I guess. Annie
talks very highly of her.” I only nodded. “Did you know both
Annie and I have the name Beth in our full names? Weird
right? Oh my God, this is my song!”
Before I could respond, she was already sprinting away
when Aiden changed the song to something she apparently
liked. Watching her disappear, I couldn’t help but feel
happy for her. She was swaying on the dancefloor,
encouraging the people around her to join in. Nailea was
amongst the group, easily being pulled into the circle.
Once I was sure Beth would be okay, I left through the
backdoor, discovering tons of people splattering around in
the pool. With it being winter, our heated pool came in
handy. Fairy lights were strung up all over the backyard
and a bonfire was glowing, my team lounging around the
fire. Oliver was warming himself, dripping wet from being
flung into the pool by Jai. There was a makeshift rope
around that area of the yard and I chuckled at my team’s
attempt at making a VIP area. But it was serving, because
nobody dared cross that line, appreciating that they were
invited in the first place.
 The wind stroked my bare chest as I wandered towards
them. They hollered like idiots when I approached and I
thumped down next to Jai, taking the cigarette that he
passed me.
“An impressive start, boys!” Oliver yelled, turning his ass
towards the fire.
“Let’s hope we keep it going like this,” Jasper chimed in,
leaning back on the cushioned bench. “And move away
before your ass catches fire.” Oliver scowled at him but
moved away from the fire when Sebastian pretended to
lurch and push him. “Cheers to us, motherfuckers!”
Those that had bottles of beer in their hands raised them
whereas Jai and I raised our cigarettes. I took a deep puff,
letting the smoke supply my lungs before releasing it.
“Why’d you invite everyone if we’re going to sit all the
way over here?” Grayson sought, sipping on his drink as he
watched the party-goers.
Jai smirked, waving at a group of girls that were
splashing in the pool. “Because we need people to cheer for
us. Besides, we’re the main characters.”
“Keep dreaming,” Nyx scoffed, approaching us in
nothing but a thin black bikini. Beth was right, that was all
I could think. Her hair was tied up in a knot at the top of
her head and she kicked legs out of the way to get to Jasper
where she dropped into his arms. She tripped slightly,
making her intoxication known. “Everybody knows I’m the
main character.”
I took another puff of my cigarette, gazing at her. She’d
known what she was doing when she’d put on that bikini.
The bottoms were barely there and one wrong move would
expose her breast. But the minx still hopped around as if
she was wearing a fucking hazmat suit.
Jai leered at her swimsuit before saying, “You’re a
hazard, that’s what you are.” I hummed in agreement.
Jasper pressed an obnoxious kiss to the side of her head. I
must’ve been scowling because Sebastian nudged me. I had
a feeling Jasper was doing it on purpose.
“Can I just say,” Nyx began, taking a swig of Jasper’s
drink, “that I’m thoroughly surprised that you boys won?”
My team fell into a torrent of grievances and she elevated a
hand, hushing them. “Only because it was the first game
and I was doubtful of how ready you were. But,” she
grinned drunkenly, “I’m one proud mama.”
Oliver coughed out a laugh. “If you’re our mama, does
that make Benson our papa?”
She shrugged. “Depends on how big his dick is.” Oliver
gagged and she giggled maniacally. I smiled at the sight.
“But it’s obvious who the real papa is.”
Jasper held her closer. “It’s me, right?”
Snubbing them, I inhaled more vapour, closing my eyes
as I let the sensation take place. When I opened my eyes,
Nyx was in front of me, an ominous smirk on her face.
Nothing good could come from that inebriated shimmer in
her eyes. She thudded onto my lap, pressing her lips to
mine. The guys exploded into cheers and I froze as she
sheathed her arms around my neck, dragging me closer to
her. She slipped her tongue into my mouth and I had no
choice but to exhale the smoke I was withholding.
Nyx pulled away with a triumphant grin, blowing the
smoke towards a gaping Jai.
I stared at the minx on my lap, unable to come to terms
with what just happened. Drunk. She was quite certainly
wasted. After a few seconds, I installed my cigarette
between my lips again. Not even a heartbeat later, it was
seized from my mouth and between Nyx’s lips. She slanted
back against my chest, smoking happily. I groaned,
encompassing an arm around her waist.
“I’m confident in our abilities,” I articulated after
clearing my throat and Jasper laughed. Many of the guys
seemed to be enjoying my predicament. “This is only the
start of an amazing year, trust me. If we keep working like
this, we can win every game. Of course, points don’t come
from wins alone.”
I peeped down at the girl in my arms and she puffed
smoke into my face. When I didn’t react, she grinned
stupidly. I had to bite my tongue to stop myself from
smiling in return.
“No sir, they don’t,” Nyx provided. “Which is why you
have me. You see, this plan has always made sense. But you
all couldn’t stand the fact that a girl would help you. Now
look, y’all won the match and our first fundraiser was a
success. Say thank you, Nyx.”
Oliver winked at her. “Thank you, mama.”
“My pleasure, son,” she bowed her head. Jai stood up
when he saw some girls waving him over. Wearing a
cocksure smirk, he dashed towards the large pool and
plunged in. Sebastian soon followed his teammate and
Oliver trailed them as well.
“Hey, isn’t that Stefan?” Nyx inquired absentmindedly,
pointing towards the backdoor.
It was Stefan; his blue hair was hardly discreet. He
examined the area, looking for Jasper. The latter perked up.
“He actually came?”
A snort escaped Nyx as she mumbled into my neck. “If
the night goes well, they’ll both be coming.” I couldn’t stop
my smile.
Jasper frowned at her and stood up, grabbing the
attention of Stefan. The two gazed at one another like
lovesick doves. I had to throw a water bottle at Jasper to
get him to move. He faltered slightly and then he was
prowling towards Stefan.
“Go bestie!” Nyx hollered and Jasper blew her a kiss. I
shook my head.
“How come Annie’s not here?” Grayson caught my
attention and I glanced at him. I forgot he was there,
seeing as he was so still.
 Nyx breathed more smoke. “Babysitting. She insisted I
celebrate with you guys or else I would’ve been with her.”
Grayson nodded. “You know, Indie was really bummed that
she couldn’t watch the game. A phone call from you could
do the trick.”
Nyx honest to God sang Annie’s phone number and
Grayson grappled to save it to his phone. Once he had it, he
thanked her and hastened towards the house, looking for a
tranquil place. That would be difficult.
The way Aiden was playing music, the roof would soon
cave in. And then it was just the two of us in the supposed
VIP area. Nyx moved in my lap, kneeing my dick and I bit
back a profanity.
She was grinning like an idiot, showcasing those
dimples of hers. “How do you make a pool table laugh?”
Pulling a face, I asked, “What?” I’d never seen her this
intoxicated before. Part of me believed this to be
dangerous. Sober Nyx would stab you if you pissed her off.
Drunk Nyx would straight-up murder you.
Nyx giggled, nearly suffocating from her laughter. “You
tickle its balls!” I wasn’t laughing at the joke, I was
laughing at her. She was practically crying, her face almost
crimson. “What do you get when you jingle Santa’s balls?”
She could barely get the words out. “A white Christmas!”
“You’re disgusting,” I whispered, still smiling. Drunk
Nyx wasn’t as shielded as sober Nyx. It was refreshing; like
I received VIP access to her personality. I’d missed it,
having her in my arms and so carefree. “Where did you
hear all of these?”
I wiped a tear from her cheek as she responded, “I used
to waitress back in high school. You’d be surprised at the
shit people come up with. Here’s another one. What kind of
bees produce milk?” She gave the cigarette to me before
cupping her boobs. “Boo-bees.”
Deciding to humour her, I took a puff of smoke and
replied, “Suddenly, I’m no longer lactose intolerant.” She
practically howled with laughter and I grinned, taking
delight in her smile.
“You know,” she said, sitting straighter so she could
wrap her arms around my neck. Her eyes inspected my
features before she smiled drunkenly. “I’ve always found
you very attractive.” A laugh followed her words and she
shook her head. “But your ugly makes you actions.” She
paused, frowning. “Huh?”
I chuckled, flicking her nose. “Somebody had a little too
much to drink.”
Nyx shifted again, chaotically moving her other leg
around me so that she was straddling my lap. I raised an
inquisitive brow, but she wasn’t fazed, a concentrated look
pasted onto her features. I took another puff of the
cigarette as she interlaced her fingers at my nape.
“Annie told me that you care about me,” she blurted,
eyes wide with wonder.
My spine straightened in suspense. “Did she now?” I
tossed a question against her own, not wanting to talk
myself into a predicament.
Annie and I hadn’t talked long. Our conversation had
mainly consisted of our worries about Nyx. I supposed it
was weird for her to witness me stressing about the very
girl whose guts I supposedly hated. And it had been my
first proper fucking conversation with her.
Nyx nodded. “And I thought about it. But, if you cared,
you would’ve stayed, you know.” I stared at her, at the look
she was wearing. She laughed suddenly. “Of course, I’m not
angry about that anymore. Maybe it was the right thing. I
hurt Annie and maybe I deserved the hurt in return—”
“What are you talking about?” I interrupted her
inebriated ramblings, knowing she wouldn’t be speaking
about her feelings if she wasn’t intoxicated. If Nyx wanted
to discuss what had happened between us, it was best to do
it sober because I wanted her to remember what we spoke
about.
 But she didn’t stop, looking too concentrated. “We
could’ve been friends.” Her eyes met mine. “That would’ve
been cool, right? We got along and I really liked you.” My
attention focused on her use of the past tense. “We didn’t
work out, so what? I got over it.” Fucking ouch. “But you
still hate me.” She frowned. “So I pretend to hate you in
return even though you just annoy me. And that’s for the
best, right?”
I didn’t know how to respond to that, so I focused on
something else she said. “I wouldn’t be able to be your
friend, Nyx.”
Her smile was wistful. “I know.” It was silent between us
whilst we passed the cigarette around. After about ten
minutes, she yawned. “Is it nap time yet?” It was currently
10 pm but she’d been on her feet all day so I knew she was
exhausted. The buzz was beginning to wear off. “I’m gonna
go nap,” she mumbled tiredly.
“My room,” I told her and she nodded, climbing off my
lap and stumbling away. I shamelessly watched her walk
away and found many other guys watching. When they
caught my eye, they hurriedly looked away. I tossed away
the last of the cigarette just as Grayson approached,
looking perplexed. “What?”
He sat down next to me. “She wants to speak to you.”
He handed me the phone and I frowned, wondering why
Indigo would want to speak to me. As far as I knew, she
despised both me and Sebastian.
I took the phone. “What?”
“Beckham.” It was Annie’s voice that welcomed me. “I
was so worried. Nyxie hasn’t been answering her phone—”
“She probably left it inside. And she went to take a nap
now,” I cut her off. “She’s fine, don’t worry.” I could hear
how badly she was freaking out.
Annie didn’t drop the hysterical pitch in her voice. “She
can’t come home tonight.” I tried to interrupt but she
rambled further. “Listen to me, Beckham. She can’t come
home, alright? Just trust me.”
Overlooking Grayson, I stood up, following the path at
the side of the house and moving to the sidewalk. Suddenly,
I felt completely sober. “The person who’s hurting you all,
is he there right now? Your dad?” She stayed soundless.
“Annie.”
“Yes,” she whimpered. “But he’s in a good mood, got
paid today and it needs to stay that way. Nyx can’t come
home at this time of the night, completely drunk. He’ll lose
his mind.”
“Isn’t he going to question where she is?”
“No, as far as he’s concerned, Nyx is at her literature
camp. One of our many excuses in case of situations like
this,” Annie returned. “I’ll call her tomorrow and fill her in
so she’s up to speed.”
I nodded, but then apprehended she couldn’t see me.
“Alright. Thanks for informing me.”
It must’ve been challenging to relay such information to
me; an outsider when it came to their family. Annie bid me
goodnight before hanging up. I stared back at my raging
house and decided I was done for tonight, returning
Grayson’s phone and treading up towards my room.
Nyx was sprawled out in my bed, wearing one of my
shirts. When I shut the door, her eyes fluttered open. “I
have fifteen missed calls and twenty text messages from
Annie,” she muttered. “Guess I’m camping out here, huh?”
For a second, I wondered how many times she had to
stay away from her own home.
Gone was the spirited twinkle in her eyes. I didn’t like
that. “Why can’t you hear bunnies having sex?” I asked and
her brows met in thought. “Because they have cotton
balls.”
She snickered, turning her face into the pillow before
laughing again. It was the last thing I heard as I entered
the bathroom to take a shower, her laughter.
OceanofPDF.com
I adjusted the straps of my floral sundress as I stared at
myself in the mirror. It was Tuesday and my first day
back at classes. I’d taken yesterday off because I was
hungover and also to do some damage control back home.
By the time I had reached back at the house, my dad was
long gone, thankfully. Annie wasn’t fibbing when she’d said
he was in a great mood. He hadn’t yelled at any of them,
hadn’t raised a hand, and hadn’t gotten upset with my
vacancy. Annie, bless her heart, thought that he was
getting better. But I wasn’t the same. It was all very
peculiar.
There was no way Matthew Taylor could just wake up
one morning and decide to stop being a monster. I would
sometimes wonder if he loved us, but that didn’t stop him
from hurting us. It was his way of controlling us. And if he
was anything, he was a control freak. He wouldn’t just let
go of that in the blink of an eye. When Annie had picked me
up from the guys’ place, I was astonished to find her
unhurt. The same went for my other sisters.
But I wasn’t complaining, just suspicious.
 The bathroom was empty, everyone probably having
their lunch. I’d arrived late today since I’d attended a
parent-teacher meeting with Annie in regards to Poppy.
Like I knew she would, the blonde was at the top of her
game, catching up on all the work she’d missed out on. Her
teacher had been very dazzled, though she had a few
personal questions she’d voiced once Poppy was told to go
play with the other kids.
Things like Poppy’s random bruises or how quiet she
was, why she never raised her voice or why she never stood
up for herself.
Annie had countered placidly that Poppy was very
bashful and we were working on it. As for the bruises,
volleyball practice easily covered that. Poppy was always
diving for saves, banging into the ground. Her teacher was
still a little sceptical but took our answers to heart. Like I’d
expected, it hurt to lie about our situation.
It always did.
So far, I’d missed my sports event management class as
well as my sociology of sport class. I couldn’t ask Nailea for
notes since she didn’t share those classes with me but I
knew my professors trusted me to get up to speed. I wasn’t
a top student just for shits and giggles, and they knew that.
I tipped over, tugging at the velvet material of my knee-
high black platform boots. My dress was short in order to
show off my pretty little boots. I only hoped I wouldn’t run
into Professor Coleman. The man made it his duty to
concern himself with our outfits, trying to implement a
dress code.
At fucking college.
Since it was my first day back after the whole club
fiasco, I needed to make an impression. Reaching into my
bag, I pulled out the blood-red lipstick, applying it sleekly. I
checked the time and realised this was when Nailea usually
made her way to the cafeteria for lunch.
 Content with my appearance, I left the bathroom.
Rumours must’ve spread about what had happened at the
club because some students were watching me. I cast them
smiles and held my head high. A stroke of air alerted me
that Nailea materialised at my side. She didn’t look at me
and vice versa, facing forward and walking down the
hallway, destination in mind.
“Those are your neck-stepping boots,” Nailea reflected
with a tiny smile, knowing exactly where we were headed.
“Things are about to get crazy.”
I grinned, turning a corner. We found Melissa in the
cafeteria, her sister missing and Nailea notified me that she
had an extra class that ran through lunch. That made
things easier. I spotted some of the hockey boys at their
own table; Oliver, Grayson and Jai missing. Jasper smirked
at me and I winked. Beckham noticed my destination and
sat straighter.
When Melissa noticed me advancing, she stood up,
smiling in amusement. “Look who came back for more!”
she exclaimed, crossing her arms over her chest. Her
friends snickered and I rolled my eyes. Her vehement tone
bagged the attention of almost all students in the cafeteria.
Just like she wanted. “Missed you yesterday,” she mused,
still smiling. “Too scared to face me?”
That was the thing about violence. It made people think
they were suddenly superior and everyone was supposed to
be frightened of them. As if I was scared of Melissa.
“Had a gynaecologist appointment,” I told her, waving a
flippant hand. “Quite the hassle that was. Your daddy got
his dentures stuck in my pussy when he ate it Saturday
night.” Melissa’s smile dropped and Nailea laughed loudly.
“I’m in the mood to make you my stepdaughter. How do you
feel about that, sweetheart?”
Her fists tightened, looking like they wanted a replay of
what she’d done on Friday. “You’ve got a lot of nerve
running your mouth like that when we all know what a
coward you are.” There were murmurs of assent and I
tilted my head imperceptibly to see that we had quite the
audience.
I beamed. “Is that any way to speak to your mama?”
Melissa straight-up growled. My eyes gravitated to the long
scab on her forehead, one she’d tried to cover with
foundation. “Nai, baby, did you have fun picking Melissa’s
skin from underneath your acrylics.”
Nailea scrunched her face up in a gorgeous smile. “So
much fun.”
One of Melissa’s friends, Pippa, spoke up in her defence.
She was stunning, truly, the twin of Snow White with her
pale skin and dark hair. If only her personality wasn’t so
repulsive. And she was smart too, sharing many of my
writing classes plus—she wrote for the school magazine.
Where I would write about the hockey team, she wrote
about the drama students and their performances. I’d
heard she wanted to write plays someday. In another life,
we could’ve been friends.
I loved ambitious women.
She wore a thin brace on her right hand due to her
carpal tunnel syndrome, a reminder that she spent too
much time behind her laptop, typing.
“You couldn’t even take Melissa on your own,” Pippa
interjected, glowering at me and then Nailea. “You had to
let your rabid dog loose on her. That’s a coward if I ever
heard one—”
“Oh, shut up. Your name directly translates to hand job
in Italian,” I cut her off and she froze, mouth dropping open
in shock. Lazily, I pointed to her right hand. “Repetitive
motions or any wrist movements that are done continuously
are usually the causes of carpal tunnel syndrome. Living up
to your name I see.” Nailea choked on the snort that she
tried to restrain.
Google was my best friend when it came to pulling off
today’s plan. Lisa, the other friend, hauled Pippa back,
seeing as she was on the brink of lurching for me. Melissa
scowled when a few students snickered. “Once again,
you’re all bark but no bite.”
Nailea glanced at the scab on Melissa’s forehead. “Sorry
about the mess I left behind. I was trying to find your other
three eyes.”
I nearly broke character and laughed but I tried my
hardest to hold a straight face. Melissa, however, appeared
to be losing her mind. She glimpsed towards Pippa and Lisa
before looking back at Nailea. “What the fuck are you
talking about?”
“Bees have five eyes,” I supplied in a blasé tone and
Melissa’s jaw shuddered in exasperation. “Melissa means
honeybee,” I apprised her.
Provoked, she snapped, “That doesn’t mean I’m a
fucking bee! What the fuck are you trying to—”
“My name is of Arabic origin and means amazing and
strong,” Nailea articulated over her with no trouble and I
nearly peed myself. She was so good at this, I may just have
to employ her in the future. “And just like Pippa, I live up to
my name. Ain’t that right, Nyxie?”
I poked her cheek. “One hundred per cent, baby.”
Melissa’s eyebrows were shivering and it looked like she
was about to have a stroke. I noticed Beckham standing
close by and he was grinning at me. He knew what I was
doing since he’d been in Melissa’s position infinite times. I
was taunting her, fucking with her mind.
It was one of my best skills—to be an absolute pain in
the ass.
Nailea recommenced speaking. “But you know who has
the most interesting name here?” The question was
rhetorical. “My girl Nyx. It’s the name of the Greek goddess
of the night.
I shrugged. “Or it can just mean night. Like night-night.”
Melissa pulled a face. “Night-night?”
 Grinning evilly, I moved closer. “That’s right, darling.
Night-night.” Before she could even blink, I twisted my arm
back and hurled a forceful punch to her nose. I felt
something crack beneath my fist.
She plunged back onto the table as cheers and gasps
broke out around us. I shook my now bruised hand and
stepped back, smiling at Lisa and Pippa as they
endeavoured to revive their queen bee. Literally. She was
sprawled on top of the table, out cold.
“Violence is never the answer, kids!” I yelled at the
encompassing students. “But it can sometimes be a very
good solution.” Nailea flung an arm around my shoulders,
laughing.
Lisa turned to me, infuriated. “You’re gonna get in
trouble for this.”
I smiled. “No, I won’t.” Drifting closer, I murmured
something to her. When I pulled back, she was pale.
“Understand?” She nodded. “Inform your friend,” I tilted
my head in the direction of Pippa.
With that, I spun on my heel, leaving the cafeteria.
Jasper made quite the commotion by bowing and shrieking
my name. Sebastian just stared at Nailea, but I could tell
his lips were quirked. At the doors, Nailea and I separated.
I needed to run my hand under cold water and Nailea
was going to inform Maxine about what happened,
warranting that there’d be no more upheavals from her
twin. It was obvious Maxine was drained by her sister’s
antics.
Pushing through the bathroom doors, I grimaced when I
noticed my split knuckles. “Fuck,” I mumbled, finding my
fingers already blistering. They stung even worse when the
water hit them. The door opened again. “That was fast,” I
mumbled, thinking it was Nailea.
“What did you tell them?” Beckham demanded, going to
take my fist in his hand. “To keep them silent?”
 I winced when he wet a paper towel and dabbed at my
wound. “Lisa has never once written her own essay for
class. I doubt she’s in the mood to get expelled.” When I
winced again, Beckham sent me an apologetic glimpse.
“And Pippa sucked the drama assistant’s dick so she could
write the script for next month’s play.”
Impressed, Beckham nodded. “And how exactly do you
know that?”
“I know things.”
My response was vague on purpose, to irritate him. I
hopped onto the counter whilst he disposed of the bloodied
paper towel. He retrieved a fresh one, raising a brow at my
position. Slowly, I spread my legs, ensuring my panties
were covered.
He stepped between them and I smiled. “If you wanted
to get between my legs, you could’ve just asked. You’re
always throwing yourself at me.”
He rolled his eyes. “Says the girl who kissed me on
Sunday.” My lips sealed at his words. Never before in my
life had I been too timid to address a subject. And it
certainly wasn’t my first time kissing someone or even
kissing Beckham. I wasn’t a virgin by any means, either.
But Beckham could turn me into a fucking schoolgirl. “Are
you blushing?”
He stopped his act of cleaning my hand to gawk at me
and I felt my cheeks crimson further. They were traitors,
my cheeks. Beckham seemed unimpressed by our kiss but I
wasn’t going to lie, it kept replaying in my mind. It was
scarcely even a kiss since the idiot had sat like a cucumber.
I didn’t understand. It was the first time since we’d
declared each other rivals. Surely, he would’ve felt
something, right? A memory, at least.
I couldn’t be the only one tormented by the flesh
memories.
“Shut up,” I mumbled, keeping my eyes on my hand.
When he smirked at me, I scowled. “I hate you.” He
laughed in rejoinder, going back to cleaning my knuckles.
His movement was slower, tenderly clearing away the
blood. A drop of water trickled from the paper towel,
settling on my uncovered thigh. It was something so
trifling, but it made me shudder. The corner of Beckham’s
lips tilted up slightly. I was surprised steam wasn’t
emerging where the droplet had landed. Because my skin
felt on fire.
After a while, he muttered, “You’ll need some ointment.”
I nodded, waiting for him to step away. But he didn’t. He
studied my outfit, eyes lingering on the boots and he
swallowed roughly. His voice was guttural when he stated,
“You look gorgeous.”
I didn’t react. “Is this your way of trying to manipulate
me?” I trusted my voice didn’t divulge the mess that was
occurring behind my ribcage. It had been so fucking long
since Beckham Hunt had complimented me. I wanted to
throw up in anxiety.
His eyes snapped to mine, the usual storm caught up in
his irises. “Accept the fucking compliment.” Unlikely. The
guys I knew only complimented me when they wanted
something.
“Accept the compliment,” I purred. “And then what do I
do after that? Die?”
Beckham’s brows banged together. “What?” he grunted.
“You’re relentless, Jesus. It was just a compliment.”
“And since when do you compliment me?” I investigated,
overcoming a shiver when he planted his hands on either
side of me on the counter. “I thought you wanted nothing to
do with Nate’s sloppy seconds—”
“Don’t think I don’t know what you’re trying to do,” he
whispered, hauling me closer. My ass skidded on the
counter until I was held against him. I settled my hands on
his shoulders in an attempt to keep some distance. “You
mention Nate to piss me off, so I’d leave.”
I shrugged. “Then leave.”
 He chuckled darkly. “Nice try.” I scowled. “You wanna
know what I think? Nate is a defence mechanism for you, to
get me away from you before you do something stupid—like
kissing me. There’s a fine line between love and hate,
baby,” he tantalised with a smirk.
“I’m gonna kill you.”
“Cute.” He palmed my nape and dragged me forward.
“You kissed me. It’s my turn.” I could barely process his
words before his lips were pressed against mine.
There was no aggression in my body, not like I’d
expected. After every dispute between Beckham and me, I
would feel my anger boil until I was sure my veins would
explode. Whenever I saw him, I wanted nothing but to stab
him in the fucking eye in annoyance. But as his arm
bandaged around my waist and the other drifted to my hair
—I dissolved in his arms, like a missing puzzle piece finally
finding its way back to the fucking puzzle.
The girl that spent her days ridiculing men vanished into
thin air. She was nowhere to be found as I sheathed my
arms around Beckham’s neck, trying to get closer even
though there was no space between us. We were pressed
completely against each other. I sucked eagerly at his
bottom lip, hearing him groan against my mouth. His
tongue probed at my lips, seeking admittance. It was like I
was an entirely different person because I granted him
access without a battle. Which was nothing like my usual
self. And that was why being with Beckham scared me so
much.
His hand possessively splayed itself on my bare thigh
before slowly trailing upwards. I yanked his hair and he
growled, causing me to smile softly. I lifted my ass slightly
so that he could bunch my dress at my waist. A squeal
escaped me when he pulled the band of my underwear,
letting it snap back against my skin.
“Look at that,” he grumbled with a smirk, leaning away
slightly to place kisses on my jaw. “Eight fucking months
later and you’re still my girl.”
I let out a small moan when he sucked at the skin of my
neck. “I’m not yours.”
Annoyed that he was no longer paying attention to my
lips, I lured him back. His hands were everywhere at once,
leaving warmth in their wake. It felt entirely too stuffy in
the bathroom. He nipped at my neck and I shuddered. A
sound outside the door startled us both and we pulled
away, glimpsing at the door. But there was no one there.
When I looked back at Beckham, he was already staring at
me.
His lips were red and inflated. Mine probably looked the
same. Due to my tugging, his hair was pointing in all
directions. I didn’t look any better with my dress at my
waist. We stared at one another as if we couldn’t believe
we’d just let that happen. I didn’t know what was going on
in his mind but I was internally berating myself for enjoying
kissing him again. The first time, I could blame it on the
alcohol.
Now what?
A singular touch from him seemed to set my skin ablaze.
Always. I’d been with others after him and never had they
been able to drag such a reaction from me. I controlled how
the kiss went. Not with Beckham though. Never with him.
And that shit scared me. The space in the bathroom was
suddenly too small. It felt like I was suffocating. I hopped
off the counter and Beckham hauled me to his chest.
“Hey,” he said softly, tilting my chin to look up at him.
He looked just as perplexed. The man had hated my guts
for the past year and was suddenly ready to devour me in
the bathroom. It was weird. For both of us. “Calm down.”
Calm down? I’d just made out with my supposed rival,
the guy who’d been an absolute dick towards me. And I
fucking enjoyed it, wanted more. That was definitely not
normal, especially with our past.
“I—”
 “I know, baby,” he cut in, glancing at my lips for a beat.
He’d kissed me to get back at me for what I’d done on
Sunday. By his reaction, it was plain it hadn’t been his
intention to make out with me. I hadn’t planned to fucking
melt in his arms either. If I became too dependent on this
asshole again, it was going to be a shitshow. He already
knew what was going on in my family. Letting him closer
than before only meant trouble.
Shaking my head, I stated, “I have an idea about the
next fundraiser.”
Beckham scowled. “Nyx—”
“A fashion show,” I continued and he sighed, pinching
the bridge of his nose. Unfortunately, he didn’t poke a fight
with me—which was what I wanted. I wanted him to get
upset and yell like he usually did. I wanted things to go
back to normal before everything complicated had
happened. “The design students are all for the idea.”
He blinked at me. “I’m listening.” He still didn’t look
annoyed. It was like he became immune all of a sudden.
Fuck.
“They’ll design the clothes that people will model. At the
end of the show, the attendees will get the opportunity to
bid on the outfits. The money will go towards the designers
and the money that’s made from ticket sales will go
towards feeding schemes.”
I wasn’t lying when I’d said I had an idea. That actually
was my plan for the next fundraiser. I was just using it to
throw him off too. Not that it was working, though.
“Sounds good,” he responded, clearing his throat. I
nodded, grabbing my bag from the counter. Before I could
march away, he articulated again. “You know, you can’t just
forget that happened.”
I crossed my arms, cringing at the burning sensation as
my knuckles brushed against my arm. “And why’s that?” I
ridiculed.
 Beckham took a predatory step forward, yanking me
towards him and kissing me again. And just like before,
unable to help myself, I melted. Like an eager child, I was
on my toes, trying to get closer to him. No matter how
much I told myself to step away, my body didn’t want to.
My desires steered me forward, taking control. His hand
was underneath my dress, palming my ass and my hands
were tugging fruitlessly at his shirt.
Suddenly, my feet were no longer on the ground, legs
wrapped around his waist. I yanked at his hair as we
kissed. It was him who drew away, eyes glimmering with
desire.
“That’s why,” he murmured. I stayed silent, panting
slightly and still trying to figure out how he pulled a
reaction like that out of me. When I couldn’t come to a
conclusion, I panicked.
“I have to go,” I mumbled and he let me down.
I didn’t look back, slipping out of the bathroom. On the
way to my next class, I passed a group of philosophy
students handing out flyers for people to join their spiritual
club where they probably spoke about the meaning of life
or some shit.
One student danced in front of me and I froze, narrowly
missing an elbow to the nose. “Join our club if you want all
things good to come your way.” I tried to shuffle around
him but he was resolute, even when I claimed to be late for
class. “With positive thoughts, you’ll attract positive
results!”
“No, thank you,” I grinned and kept walking.
Beckham and I were over; and I was fine with that. I
didn’t need him back, not at all. The kiss only complicated
our already complicated relationship. Beckham left, I had
to remind myself, and I drove him away. What I felt for him
may have been vague anger and disappointment disguised
as hatred, but he very much hated me.
 The philosophy student forced himself in front of me
again, swinging the flyer. “Like attracts like. It can be
thoughts or even people. At our next meeting, we go into
depth about this topic. You should join.” This was the
universe’s way of laughing in my face. Like attracts like?
Was this supposed to allude to Beckham and me? As if.
“Will I see you there?”
Just to get him off my case, I nodded and he beamed,
handing me the brightly coloured sheet. He then hopped
into the path of the next person as I studied the flyer.
In bright letters at the top, it said: Law of Attraction,
what’s meant for you will find you.
“Oh fuck,” I murmured.

OceanofPDF.com
“W hat did you do to her?”
Okay, so when Benson had summoned me to
his office, I hadn’t foreseen those words leaving
his mouth. His face was sour and his brows drew together
into an irate furrow. Pestered was his typical appearance
but after our win on Sunday and him being invited to the
afterparty, I thought our relationship had progressed.
Clearly, I was scammed. If Benson had laser eyes, I
would’ve been nothing but a pile of ash by now.
“What do you mean?” I elected to take the ignorant
route and have him reveal to me exactly what the
predicament was.
Benson’s face turned a weird mixture of red and green. I
had to refrain from questioning if he needed to see a doctor
because that vein in his forehead looked seconds away
from popping. His eyes narrowed, reminding me of a snake
on the verge of attacking. I didn’t like the thought of being
bitten, figuratively, and needed to turn away his anger.
“Taylor,” he hissed, highlighting his likeliness to a snake.
All he was missing was some scales. Although, if he
proceeded to neglect to moisturise his face, he’d be
donning some scales very soon. “Are you even listening to
me?”
No, I honestly wasn’t.
I was finding it troublesome to pay attention to anything
because somebody had been tormenting my thoughts for
the past day. Nyx Taylor was in a mood. And when Nyx
Taylor was in a mood, everybody steered clear. She’d been
a ball of rage throughout practice earlier, getting frustrated
with the littlest thing. The moment practice had ended,
she’d stormed out of the building as if her ass was on fire
and hopped into Nailea’s car.
At first, I’d thought it had something to do with our kiss
yesterday. I mean, it sure as fuck had been playing in my
head on repeat. How could I forget something like that?
Nyx Taylor had fucking melted in my arms, after all this
fucking time. The memory of her sinking into my touch,
moaning for me was stamped in my brain. I could still feel
the creamy skin of her thigh underneath my hand, feel the
material of her underwear as I tugged at it.
If it hadn’t been for the sound outside the bathroom that
had startled us, I was sure we would’ve taken it further.
Neither of us had seemed to be in our right minds. She’d
avoided me ever since but that didn’t stop me from jerking
off to the thought of her. Not my finest moment but come
on, it was Nyx Taylor. If I didn’t stop thinking about her, I’d
be sporting a boner soon and that wasn’t something I
wanted Benson in my presence for.
I cleared my throat, adjusting my sweatpants slightly.
“Why do you automatically assume it has something to do
with me? If you haven’t noticed, she’s been pissed off with
everyone.”
Benson snarled. “Yes, I can see that—”
“Then it could just as well be anybody else’s fault—”
“But as much as she’s pissed at everyone, you’re the
only person she hasn’t snapped at,” Benson cut me off,
brows hiked as he tilted back against his desk. “You wanna
explain that to me? I thought your throat would be the first
she went for but you’ve been safe from her anger this
entire time.”
I fabricated a grin, shrugging dramatically. “Gee, Coach,
I dunno. Maybe she has a crush on me?” I shook my head
when his glare hardened. “Are you sure you’re angry
because she’s pissed? Or is it maybe because you’re afraid
that I did something that made her wanna quit? You and I
both know that she’s been pulling both her own and your
weight. If it weren’t for her files that you used to train us,
we wouldn’t have won Sunday’s much.”
He stood to his full height, aiming a finger at me. “Don’t
test me, boy. Just because you’re the son of this and that
doesn’t mean you get to speak to me how you want. You
may be the captain but I’m still your coach,” he bit out
gruffly and I tensed, no longer amused with the
circumstances. “I know I’m not what you boys had in mind
for a coach, but I’m trying my best, yes, with the help of
Taylor. The point is, I’m trying. And you don’t get to treat
me like shit just because of who your parents are. Don’t
think I haven’t heard the rumours flying around about—”
“My dad didn’t buy me the position of captain,” I spoke
through clenched teeth, wrath covering every single word.
Fucking sick and tired was what I was of those fucking
rumours that somebody sprouted out of their fucking ass.
“That rumour was started by Nate Wyatt after he realised
he was being threatened as the captain.”
Amusement flickered through Benson’s eyes and I
clenched my fists. “So your dad didn’t offer to buy you the
captaincy?”
If this was his way of fishing for information then he was
going about it the wrong way. If he wanted to know the
truth he should’ve just asked. I didn’t mind explaining the
situation to those who wished to know the truth. If people
wanted to know the truth, it meant they cared enough to
not believe ridiculous rumours and reach out to me. What I
minded was people who egged the rumour on.
“I didn’t take you for a gossip girl, Benson,” I jeered,
relaxing somewhat when I apprehended he was just an
idiot who didn’t know how to address delicate topics. “Yes,
my dad offered to buy me the captaincy. But,” I said when
seeing his mouth open to bicker, “it was only an option if
the team became desperate.”
The older man’s face scrunched in confusion. It made
me think of Nyx and the way her tiny nose scrunched up
whenever she was taken by surprise, or when she didn’t
understand something. I instantly shook the thought away
and concealed it because I did not want to associate the
girl I fantasised about with the man standing in front of me.
Benson voiced his inquiry. “If the team became
desperate?”
I nodded. “Contrary to what everyone else believes,
Coach, it wasn’t just about me. It was about the whole
team. We were desperate enough to have my dad pay the
school to make me captain—if Nate didn’t step down.”
“I’ve heard some things about that fellow,” Benson
appended, looking lost in his thoughts. He was presumably
rearranging everything he thought he knew about the
situation and substituting them with what I was narrating
to him now. “Was he really that bad?”
A laugh thrust its way out of my throat as I shifted back
against the door. It was a sceptical sound rather than an
amused one because bad wasn’t a good enough word to
express Nate’s position as captain.
“You don’t even know the half of it.” I groaned. “Nate
played favourites all the time. Each week he had a new top
three from each team.” His name left an astringent taste in
my mouth, making it feel as if I’d just barfed.
“Isn’t that good?” Benson sought. “I mean, doesn’t that
motivate other players to do better?”
 I shook my head. “Not the way you’re thinking. It made
everybody so competitive to the point where the entire
team became toxic. Nobody trusted each other, we didn’t
work together. Each player played for themselves instead of
their team.”
Benson grimaced. “No wonder you lost almost every
match last year.”
My smile was sombre as I nodded. “After the Crosstown
Cup ended, we had a meeting without Nate. We all knew
that he had to be replaced. As the alternative captain, I was
next in line, but Nate wouldn’t step down.”
“Why didn’t you just tell Coach Ford or Dean Waverly?”
I hauled my gaze to his genuinely disconcerted
expression. “Because physically, there was nothing wrong
with us. Nate trained us properly. As far as anybody else
could see, he did his job as a captain. Everybody
condemned the team for just being shit at playing. But
mentally,” I pointed to my head, “we weren’t doing the
best. By putting each member against the other, Nate
fucked with our minds. He gaslit us, making us feel like we
were imagining it all. And unfortunately, adults tend to
disregard the importance of mental health.”
Benson swallowed, looking at me with sympathy. “So he
played the part of a qualified captain and nobody could
fault him.”
“We could fault him for the mind games, but nobody of
authority here cared. He was a good captain and he had
the proof. Each player was physically perfect, could skate
circles around opponents, block and score with their eyes
closed. But that was the problem, we were perfect on our
own. Not as a team.”
I could see comprehension dawn on him. “And when
they test the strength of the team, they do individual
evaluations because you’re each part of a whole.”
“Exactly,” I grunted.
 Whenever we’d lost a match, Coach Ford would do
individual evaluations to see who the problem was. But that
was what was wrong, nobody had been the problem
because when tested on our own—we were perfect. Nate
had made us lose trust in each other and that was what
provoked our losses. It didn’t matter how foolproof Coach
Ford’s plans were when we could no longer execute them.
“And how did you get him to step down?” Benson
shuffled around his desk to take a seat.
“He didn’t step down. Not exactly,” I continued
explaining, recalling all that had happened last year. “He
knew exactly how to mould us, make us opponents. There
was no way we’d confide in each other when each of us was
trying to be the favourite; the best. What he didn’t count on
was us coming together.”
It was Grayson who’d first proposed the idea of us all
coming together. He could see how Nate’s captaincy was
affecting us all mentally, the only one who could
acknowledge the fact that it was emotional abuse; having
been through it before.
Many had been prepared to quit ice hockey because it
was beginning to influence their studies. All three teams
and the spares had met up at my house where we’d
presented our anxieties. At first, we all hadn’t been in
agreement. Some had been outraged that we’d dare go
against our captain. It had taken a full week of reflecting
for everyone to realise that we’d been manipulated.
Benson was fascinated. “So you spoke up against him?”
We’d done exactly that. “Nate’s dad’s a lawyer and we
didn’t want to make claims yet, so our main goal was to get
rid of him as a captain by explaining that he wasn’t what
we needed. My dad paying for the position was only a last
resort if Nate didn’t agree to step down. We were afraid
he’d try and convince Coach Ford that we were just bitter
about losing in our division during the Crosstown Cup. But
he came up with something else. He wanted us to compete
for the title.”
I hadn’t wanted to compete. Nate always excelled in
everything he did because he always got what he wanted in
the end. My throat became tight at the next part of the
story. I didn’t like to speak about it. Benson was obviously
curious so I chose to hastily explain it if he asked. And he
did.
“How did you compete?”
“Ford had us each take turns to coach the team before a
match.” I remembered having to play against community
teams. “He wanted to see who the better captain was.
Obviously, the team played better with me guiding them
because I made it a rule to always play together. As a team,
we shared one brain on the ice, not six.” Benson nodded.
“But Nate thought he could score points in the last test,
seeing as people loved him. We were observed in a relaxed
setting in order to see which captain they were more
comfortable with, and not only them but other students as
well. Students had to vote for who they thought was the
better captain. A good captain keeps his team and
community together. In easier words,” I cleared my throat,
“we had to host events.”
Events weren’t my most powerful skill. Grayson
regularly planned our parties and Sebastian took care of
the food and guest list. Benson perked up, his eyes losing
that serious look and being supplanted with one of wonder.
His lips tilted and he tossed me a huge grin. I
shuddered. “Do my senses deceive me or did our best girl
Taylor play a part in this section of the story.” I glowered at
him and he chuckled. “Alright, tough subject. I see.”
A lump was in my throat. Nyx Taylor. Shit, what I
would’ve done for that girl. She’d been at every game,
cheering us on. There hadn’t been a moment she wasn’t on
my mind. Tinkerbell, I remembered I’d first called her.
School was everything for me and so was hockey.
 But then suddenly there was her.
Everything about her was mysterious, only intriguing me
further. We’d never labelled what we were, but I knew the
team discreetly referred to her as my ex. Maybe she was. It
sure felt like it because we’d been ‘together’ for six months
before things had gone to shit. And maybe that was why I
was more hesitant to listen to her. Because it felt like a
betrayal.
She’d been mine.
And then suddenly she wasn’t.
“Now you know,” I mumbled as I moved from the door
and stretched. My back was hurting from sagging back
against the wood. “I trust you’ll keep your comments to
yourself now that you know the full story?”
He nodded. “But you still haven’t answered my initial
question.” I frowned and he rolled his eyes. “What did you
do to Taylor?” Again with that question. He should’ve asked
what I didn’t do to her. I sure as fuck didn’t treat her like I
usually did.
I shrugged. “Nothing.”
Besides shoving my tongue in her mouth. But I wasn’t
going to tell him that. He gazed at me for a few seconds,
like a snake. Then he let me leave, thanking me for trusting
him. I also apologised for insulting his coaching skills, to
which he responded with a dramatic roll of his eyes. I
shook my head before travelling back to the locker room to
collect my bag. Everybody was gone by now. I shoved my
clothes into my bag and left the rink, hopping into my car.
Sebastian and Grayson had probably left when they
realised Benson was keeping me behind me for a while.
The air felt good on my slightly moistened skin as I
drove with the windows down. It was nearly eight in the
evening since practice had ran late so I stopped to pick up
some doughnuts at Daisy’s Delicacies, a tired Beth greeting
me behind the counter. She spoke to me for a while as
Donovan began to lock up for the night.
 “She was pissed that I skipped the brunch,” Beth said in
reference to her mom. “I think what upset her, even more,
was the fact that I didn’t care. When that angry text came
through, I literally couldn’t have given less of a fuck. I’ve
been trying to avoid her, even though we live in the same
damn house.”
I sipped from the free coffee she gave me. “You know,
the boys and I have always thought that your mom was a
little—”
“Too controlling?” she finished with a faint smile,
nodding her head slightly. “Yeah, I just figured it’s because
I’m her only kid, you know? Her marriage didn’t work out,
Dad ended up fleeing back to South Africa to get away from
her, and her life just didn’t go the way she planned it to.
Part of me pitied her so I obeyed. But I’m tired of that shit
now, Beck.”
All I could do was nod and sip my hot drink as she spoke
about her family, something she rarely ever did. I knew
Beth’s parents had only been married for a year before her
birth, hastily tying the knot after Vivian Braswell and
Khumalo Makeba had supposedly fallen in love. Their
divorce had already been finalised before Vivian even
realised she was pregnant, at least that was what Beth had
once said.
Although I’d never seen her dad in person before—
because she usually visited him in his home country—it was
obvious Beth took after him. Where her mom was a petite
brunette with slightly tanned skin, Beth was tall with skin
the same shade as the chocolate trapped in her irises.
“Dad said I could come and stay with him for a while,”
she continued, “just in case things get out of hand with
Mom. I’m willing to try though, which is why I said I’d
attend the stupid dinner she’s hosting for her cousin.” An
amused smirk was sent my way. “She asked if you’d be
joining, but I said I already had a date.”
 Grinning, I needled, “Annie?” She nodded, her smirk
dissolving into a bashful smile. But her shoulders were
somewhat tense. I placed a hand on hers. “I’m happy for
you, Beth.”
And that was all she needed for the discomfort to leave
her body. She didn’t need to explain anything, didn’t need
to say anything else. I understood.
“At least you’ll no longer be forced to hang out with me
to please my mom,” she quipped teasingly as I checked the
time.
I leaned over the counter to kiss her cheek. “You know I
love hanging out with you, Beth. But I gotta run right now,
have to visit my dad. Call me when you get home safely,
okay?”
She nodded, shooing me away with a smile. “And please
remind Lieutenant Hunt that he needs to stop eating all the
brownies your mom makes. I still haven’t received any.”
“He eats them as soon as it comes out of the oven so if
you want some, you have to be in the kitchen while my
mom’s baking.” She only laughed at my advice.
With my purchase ready, I was back on the road and
headed towards Glendale. The ride took me ten minutes
and eventually, I parked my car in the visitor’s area of the
Northeast Station of the Los Angeles Police Department. I
seized my visitor’s badge from the glove compartment and
reached for the box of doughnuts.
I locked my car and sauntered towards the main doors.
Greeting the receptionist, Linda, I went straight through. I
crossed the open space filled with cubicles and twisted
around a corner, grinning at those who waved. And then I
saw something that made me stop in my tracks.
The door to one of the interrogation rooms was open.
And handcuffed to the table was none other than Nyx
fucking Taylor.
I blinked a few times, convinced that I was imagining
things. But she didn’t disappear. She sat there, gazing at
the wall with a stagnant look in her eyes. It hadn’t even
been an hour since practice had ended. How the fuck did
she get arrested? She still wore her gym shorts and a loose
sweater, hair pulled into a bun.
“Nyx?” I promptly thought of the worst; that she’d
stupidly gone and murdered someone.
Her eyes snapped to mine and I saw they were
bloodshot, inflated. She’d been crying. There were dried
tear tracks on her face and I marked that there were
bandages around her hands. My concern skyrocketed.
A dry laugh shook her and I winced. “Of course!” she
bellowed, standing up but was hauled down instantly
because she was cuffed to the table. Her eyes filled with
tears. “Of course you’re here! Come to see me break down
a little more? Do you take joy in it or something? Seeing me
hurt and crying? Because you’re always fucking there to
witness it!”
She looked far from happy to see me. I didn’t respond to
what she was saying. It was plain to see that something had
happened and she wasn’t thinking clearly.
“What are you doing here?” I questioned, becoming
worried the longer she gazed at me like a wounded animal.
“Apparently, I’m fucking crazy!” Nyx shot back, seething.
Just then, a woman I identified as Officer Davies slid past
me, moving to stand in front of the table. Nyx glowered at
her, seeming to forget about my presence. “Come back to
get your ass chewed out by me again?”
I knew what she was doing, I’d witnessed it before. She
was taunting a fucking cop. Davies took no note of her.
“You’re lucky he didn’t press charges or you’d be sitting
comfortably in a cell, Ms Taylor.”
Nyx scoffed. Davies barely reacted. “Why? Is he sad
because I kicked his brand new car?”
Car? Davies stared her down. “You did more than just
kick his car, Ms Taylor. According to witnesses, you
shattered his windows with your fists, stabbed his tires and
spraypainted crude words on the doors.”
I glimpsed at her bandaged fists. She quaked at the
older woman’s words, lips shaking. I was finding it hard to
believe that she’d done all of that. I mean, I knew she was
pissed but not pissed enough to obliterate somebody’s car
and get arrested within the time span of an hour. And
where the fuck had Nailea dropped her off for this to have
happened?
The blonde minx smirked. “And I enjoyed every second
of it.”
Davies offered her a scowl in return. “You’re free to go.”
If my eyes weren’t misleading me, I detected that same
terrified look in Nyx’s eyes as Davies uncuffed her. The
latter acknowledged me with a nod as she led Nyx towards
the lobby where a tall man stood waiting. Nyx resembled a
child trying to dig their heels into the ground. The man had
deep brown eyes, nearly black, and even darker hair. He
was the spitting image of Annie and Indigo.
Their dad.
They’d called her dad to come and collect her.
My grip on the box of doughnuts tensed. This was the
man that hurt her. This was the man responsible for that
bruise and cut she’d donned. I eyed him from afar, disgust
and anger burning within my chest.
“Sorry about the inconvenience,” the man told Davies
with a courteous smile, the same smile that Annie wore
when she served customers. “My daughter was always one
for the dramatics.”
He peeped at Nyx and she looked towards me. I kept her
gaze, wordlessly pleading for her to clarify what was going
on. A layer of tears settled over her eyes and she blinked it
away.
Linda watched from her spot behind her desk.
Davies nodded, probably used to dealing with rebellious
teenagers. “Have a good evening.”
 And then she marched away. I still stood quite a distance
from the father-daughter duo but I could see Nyx’s dad
glaring at her. With one last look at me, Nyx followed him
to the parking lot.
But something wasn’t right. My gut told me that I
shouldn’t let her leave with that man. Anybody with eyes
could see that he was concealing his anger. Once they were
alone, he’d channel all of it towards her. I mean, what dad
enjoyed picking their daughter up from the police station? I
understood why Nyx was taunting Davies.
She wanted to be placed in a holding cell. She didn’t
want to go home. So I followed them, seeing them stop next
to the truck Annie always drove.
“Nyx!” I yelled out. She halted, slowly turning around.
Her dad did too, not fretting to conceal his scowl. She
glimpsed uneasily from me to her dad. I’d never seen her
so frightened before. My fists itched to trounce the man’s
face in. “We’ve got literature camp in half an hour,” I
informed her and her nose wrinkled. I forced a chuckle.
“Don’t tell me you forgot. We’re reading Pride and
Prejudice tonight. Our essay on it counts for half of our
grade.”
Acting wasn’t a talent of mine, regrettably. Nyx’s voice
was weak as she countered softly, “I completely forgot.”
She stared at her dad then at me. “I’m sorry, but I’ll be
missing camp tonight—”
“What happens if she misses it?” her dad spoke directly
to me, probably trying to figure out my relationship with his
daughter.
I looked like an idiot, wearing sweaty gym clothes, a
visitor’s badge and holding a box of doughnuts. He forced a
look of concern, pretending to care about her academics.
My mind nearly shut down as I tried to think of a
rejoinder. “She fails.” It was the first thing I could think of.
Her dad didn’t look convinced, turning to climb into the
truck and gesturing for Nyx to follow. I thought back to
something that Melissa had once used against Nyx. And
then I spoke, “She’ll lose her scholarship.”
And that fucking got his attention.
He was speechless for a minute as Nyx stared at the
ground. “Nyx,” he said in a harsh voice. “I thought I taught
you better than to neglect your studies. Why does this
young man have to remind you about important things like
this? That’s your job.” She murmured an apology and he
sighed. “You better get going. If you fail that class you can
bet you’re going to pay your own tuition fees.”
“Yes, Dad,” she returned and my throat constricted at
the sight of her. This wasn’t the girl I knew. I wanted the
strong Nyx back, the one that teased me and made me
smile.
Not the shell of her.
The Taylor man glowered at her. “I won’t be home
tonight. Inform your sisters that they need not leave dinner
out for you and me. I have to go clean up the mess you
made.”
She nodded again, shuffling towards me and I encircled
an arm around her waist; possessively. No matter what
happened in the past, this was my girl, and I wasn’t going
to let him hurt her.
Instead of leaving, he shifted his attention to me. “Thank
you for reminding my daughter…” He let the sentence
dangle in the air, anticipating me to give him my name.
“Beckham Hunt,” I finished the sentence, grip around a
shaking Nyx tightening. “Surely, you’ve heard of my dad.
Lieutenant Hunt.” I tipped my head in the direction of the
building. “He runs this place. Probably for the past ten
years.”
It was a veiled threat. And the man in front of me caught
it. I was the wrong person to make an enemy of. One wrong
move and I’d have the entire Los Angeles Police
Department up his ass.
 His attitude changed and he was suddenly very gentle.
“Well, thank you again, Mr Hunt.” He nodded at his
daughter. “And remember what we talked about, Nyxie,” he
reminded her and cast me a long glance, making it obvious
that he was warning his daughter about sex. “We don’t
need any surprises.”
Although she was shaking, although her voice was weak,
she still found the strength to say, “Ironic considering you
have two of those running around.”
That triggered her dad. What she said must’ve really
pissed him off because it seemed like he forgot I was there.
To him, it was just the two of them. It felt like it happened
in slow motion. His right hand clenched—the hint I picked
up—before he peeled his arm back. Nyx stood still as his
fist barrelled towards her face.
But it didn’t touch her.
In a split second, I let go of her, dropping my box of
doughnuts before catching her dad’s fist in my right hand;
right in front of Nyx’s pale face. His brown eyes met my
gaze as he quickly veiled his fury with feigned shock. But
I’d seen enough and the rage burning through me needed
an outlet.
I squeezed his fist in my hand, watching him wince as
his knuckles cracked. “Were you about to hit her, Mr
Taylor?” I asked, voice adorned in the anger I was feeling.
He looked torn between playing the victim and yelling at
me. He chose the former.
“I would do no such thing. I merely wanted to hug my
daughter goodbye when you attacked me.” His eyes
scanned the parking lot, looking for an audience that would
act as a witness to his absurd claims. “Release my hand at
once, Mr Hunt.”
My grip tightened and he cringed, feeling his pinkie
separate from the rest of his fingers. “Respectfully, I think
the fuck not.”
 I shoved him back and he stumbled over his feet. He
didn’t get far though because I stepped forward and
grabbed him by the throat, pressing him against the door of
Annie’s truck. When he tried clawing at my chest, I
tightened my grip and flexed my arm, his feet coming off
the ground.
“Nyxie,” he called for his daughter, nails scratching at
the hand around his throat. “Tell him to stop.” He could
barely get the words out.
I glanced over my shoulder, seeing the blonde slowly
picking up my box of doughnuts. When her dad called her
name again, she looked up, meeting my eyes.
“You’re about to be disappointed, Dad,” she hummed,
red eyes filled with loathing as she stared at the struggling
man. “Beckham doesn’t listen to me.”
Her dad tried to say something but I squeezed his
windpipe. “How does it feel to be the smaller one in an
argument for once?” I questioned, listening to him
whimper. He turned away, trying to catch Nyx’s gaze but I
used my free hand to yank his head back. “Look at me
when I’m fucking talking to you.”
“Let go of me,” he begged. I dropped him and stepped
back. He heaved, trying to get air to his lungs. Running a
hand over his face, his gaze darted from me to Nyx. He
glared at me. “I will not stand for this—”
My fist met his jaw and he toppled over. I turned to look
at Nyx as I shook my hand. “His name?”
“Matthew,” she murmured, watching me carefully.
When he stood up, blood dripping from his mouth, I
yanked him by his shirt. “Matthew Taylor,” I muttered,
making sure to convey my disgust. “If you ever lay a hand
on my girl again, LAPD will be the least of your problems.”
He spat blood at my face and Nyx scoffed. “Fuck you,
Hunt. How I discipline my daughters is none of your
business.” He chuckled as his bloody saliva dripped from
my face.
 I held the neckline of his shirt and pulled, hearing a
satisfying rip as I tore the obviously expensive material
from his body. I pushed his form to the ground and used his
shirt to clean my face. Once I was done, I tossed it at him.
“No, it’s not my business,” I agreed. “What is my
business, however, is you beating girls that can’t fight back.
There’s a jail cell with your name on it, Matthew. Don’t
make me be the one to drag your pathetic ass there.”
And that’s where I left him. I wrapped an arm around
Nyx and led her to my car, far away from her dad. She
didn’t say anything, but there was a satisfied gleam in her
eyes. I could tell she hadn’t expected me to intervene—and
neither had I. But witnessing it had pushed me past my
breaking point.
Matthew Taylor had tried to hit her.
Not merely hit, he’d tried to punch her. And she’d only
uttered one sentence to trigger him. The girls probably had
to walk on eggshells around somebody with a temper as
bad as his. He was the predator in their household and he
thrived off it, that much was obvious. However, each
predator had their own habitat, and the fucker had just
stepped into mine.
Now that I knew what I was up against, I wasn’t going to
let that man lay a single finger on the Taylor girls again.

OceanofPDF.com
S ometimes I hated myself. I hated myself, and it was all
my dad’s fault. In his mind, everyone was the problem
except him. Every scowl hurled my way, I questioned
what I did to warrant that. What had I done to bother him?
Was there a way to make things better? I’d spent hours
crying because I wanted to make my dad happy. But I could
never do anything right. I always felt as if there was a tube
shoved into my chest, gradually bleeding me of my worth. I
hated myself more with every passing day.
Every time my dad raised his hand or voice, I’d feel
another piece of myself begin to break. I didn’t think there
was anything left of me to break anymore. He’d trampled
my confidence for years until I was nothing but his puppet,
his good little girl. He carved words of disgust into my skin
each time he articulated. No amount of scrubbing could
free my skin, I’d tried.
Foolishly, I’d placed my dad on a pedestal. To me, he was
this judge who determined my worthiness. And I was never
worthy. Thinking back on it, it irked me that I ever wanted
his admiration. It meant nothing. He’d spent his entire life
seeking approval from his parents and he demanded us to
be the same.
Sometimes I hated that I remembered things so
precisely. Instead of it replaying in my mind, it felt like I
was reliving everything again. It was the worst. I
remembered the first time my dad had hit me, at least, it
was the earliest memory I had of being hit. I’d been around
eight years old, almost a year after my parents had gotten
married.
My dad had cuffed me to the window bar in my room.
He’d cuffed me because I’d spoken back to him. Annie
couldn’t unlock me because she hadn’t had the key. But
she’d kept me company the entire day whilst my dad went
to work. My mom had left earlier with baby Poppy, before
the commotion, and I’d like to think she didn’t know what
happened. Or else she’d have done something.
I’d whined to be let loose, screamed my throat raw.
Annie had sat next to me, running her fingers through my
hair. My pants had been moistened with piss and shit
because I couldn’t go to the bathroom. There’d been vomit
all over my clothes because I’d suffocated on my cries and
threw up what little breakfast I’d eaten. Annie had laid on
her bed, crying. My dad had gotten home first, and he
hadn’t been thrilled with the mess I’d made. He’d slapped
me, right across the face. One of my baby teeth had fallen
out, blood trickling from my mouth. My mom had bathed
me that night, muttering apologies in my ear as I sobbed in
her arms.
Over the noise of the shower, I’d been able to hear my
dad commending Annie for being a good girl for two whole
days. He’d given her two dollars like she was a dog needing
a treat. I’d waited with my mom after that, not wanting to
be around him. Annie wouldn’t look me in the eye. I’d
thought my dad finally turned her against me. She’d stayed
by his side during dinner. When my mom had put me to
bed, I’d stammered a quick prayer and settled my tooth
under my pillow. When I woke up the next morning, the
tooth had been missing.
And in its place—two dollars.
Annie was my whole world. She’d clung to my side since
I was born. I loved her with every cell I was made up of. I
may have resented my dad, but at least he’d done
something right. He’d given me her. He’d given me
somebody to cling to in my time of need; when I couldn’t go
to my parents. Annie had sacrificed everything for us. She
didn’t go to college and put what money she’d saved for
school towards us. And yet my dad still took that money. He
took from us, monthly. We paid him, and he always insisted
it was to take care of him.
Apparently, he’d cared for us and now it was time to be
switched.
He had a job, I knew that, I just didn’t know what he did.
Nor did I know what he did with the money. Until this
morning. Fuck. I could feel my eyes begin to prickle as I
leaned back against the bed. Beckham’s bed. Somehow I
always found myself here. And I hated it.
Beckham wandered into the room with two steaming
mugs of hot chocolate and he planted them on the dresser.
He’d changed out of his gym clothes and now wore loose
grey sweatpants with a t-shirt. I wanted to hate him, I
really did. I wanted to hate that he pulled these absurd
feelings from me, wanted to hate that he always saw me at
my worst, wanted to hate that he tried to protect me.
He was always there.
I tried my hardest not to think about him because if I
thought about him, I’d be reminded of what we could’ve
had. That wasn’t something I needed right now. Needed at
all.
“I wish I could hate you,” I muttered, tugging at the
shorts I wore.
I wouldn’t meet his eyes because I hated the pity that I
saw there. I hated that he’d witnessed what was a normal
occurrence for me. I hated that I loved what he’d done for
me, that he’d stood up for me against my dad.
After my dad had driven away, Beckham had escorted
me to his car. I’d waited there as he went to meet his dad
and then we left. His dad; a fucking lieutenant. There was
another reason to stay away from him.
He sighed, sagging against the wall. There was so much
sincerity in my voice. Because I meant it. And he could see
it.
“I know,” he countered distressingly. “But that doesn’t
mean I’m not gonna help you, Nyx.”
I visibly bridled and clenched my fists as I pushed to my
feet. I tried to keep my voice muffled because Sebastian
and Grayson were downstairs. They probably thought
something was going on between the two of us again.
“I don’t need your help.” The hitch in my voice told me
that I was lying. Acknowledging the fact that I needed his
help was easier than admitting it aloud. I didn’t want to be
weak.
I didn’t want to be like my mom.
Beckham stared at me, his gaze calculating, sizing me
up. I wanted to hate it. I wanted to hate that his stare alone
could make me feel so exposed as if I wore all of my
emotions on my sleeve.
“Being strong doesn’t mean that asking for help or
admitting that you’re in pain is weak.”
My bottom lip shivered. “I wish I could hate you,” I
stammered again, sensing my body heat up with emotions I
couldn’t explain. “I don’t understand why you’re
everywhere.” My hands were trembling now. “After what
happened, you were nowhere to be found and when we did
run into each other, you could never hide your hatred for
me.” He stiffened in trepidation. “Now tell me, where is
that hatred, Beckham?”
“Nyx—”
 Shaking my head, I walked closer. “No. Where is that
hatred?” He didn’t answer me because there wasn’t a
fitting answer. “Did your fortress of anger get ruined by
this sudden wave of pity that you feel for me? Is that it,
huh?” I hated that I was on the verge of tears. “You found
no reason to stay when you assumed that I was sexually
involved with Nate. You ignored me for the rest of the time,
essentially bullied me and now you’re suddenly back? Just
tell me you pity me and be done with it.”
There was a reason why I never told people. I didn’t
want them to view me differently. I didn’t want them to pity
me. If Beckham didn’t know I was being abused, I was
pretty sure he would’ve stayed hating me.
And that hurt more than it should’ve.
His eyes became turbulent with rage. “I don’t pity you,
Nyx.”
I scoffed. “So you still hate me? Is this your way of
revenge, huh? Every time I’m about to lose my fucking
mind, you’re there. And I hate it. I fucking hate it.” I wiped
my nose with the back of my hand and sniffled. “If that’s
the case, laugh,” I seethed. “The oh-so independent and
strong-willed Nyx Taylor is an absolute fucking mess.”
He attempted to move closer but I stepped away,
refusing to let him touch me. His glower sank but he was
still pissed off. “What is it with you and thinking that I’m
trying to use you? Can’t I be a decent fucking person?”
“Where was that decency last year?” I shot back,
catching my voice cracking. “Where was that decency
when you constantly berated me, when you walked away
without hearing my side of the story? Where was that so-
called decency, Beck?” My hands were quivering again and
I folded them into fists, scorning the stinging of my cuts.
It looked like he was battling with himself over there,
wanting to say something but fighting against it. “Nyx, I’m
so sorry,” he whispered, his voice guttural. “I just want to
help.”
 “I’ve heard that before.” My gaze gravitated to my feet,
and lingered there. “Props to you though. You’re more
original than Nate was.” I gave a supercilious clap that
made my cuts burn, and glanced up, seeing him grimacing.
“Kissing me. Pretending to care again, as if you even cared
in the first place. What do you want from me? How is this
going to benefit you?”
It was an explanation I required more than my next
breath. Because I could see the thin thread tying me
together being hauled on each day. It terrified me to death.
I’d spent years being strong for my sisters, and barely shed
a tear. And suddenly I always found myself crying about
what my life had become instead of doing something. I was
becoming like my mom. And I hated it.
Beckham groaned, moving closer. “Why do I have to
benefit from it?” He looked genuinely disconcerted and it
prompted my chest to tighten, my lungs screaming in
protest. “And I didn’t kiss you to manipulate you, Nyx. You
know that.” He stepped closer. “Look me in the eye, and
tell me that my kiss felt different.” I stayed quiet, arms
shaking. “You can’t.”
I moved towards the window. He observed my every
movement, cautious as if he was dealing with a wounded
animal. I detected the sound of a car and peered out the
window, seeing Grayson and Sebastian pulling out of the
driveway.
“You hate me,” was my feeble reply.
He forced a laugh, breezing over my statement. “I hate
what we’ve done, how we handled everything.”
“Don’t you understand how stupid this all looks?” I
sought, not glancing at him. “I’ve never given you a reason
to forgive me. Am I just supposed to trust that you
genuinely wanna help? Well, excuse me if I’m finding that
hard to believe.”
He sighed, forcing out his next words. “I don’t hate
you.” No, but whatever he felt came close. “I just wanna
help.”
My eyes stung and my voice was a whisper now. “I’d like
to believe that, I really would.” But, I couldn’t. I’d heard
those same words before, from Nate. And my life was
ruined even more than it already was. Less money, more
humiliation. I didn’t want to go through that again. “I’m
gonna save you the effort, Beck. You wanna know why I
didn’t want to label what we were?”
His dark brows came together into a profound furrow.
“What are you talking about?”
Perhaps, if I gave him what he wanted, he’d end the
rouse. I didn’t care what he did with the information, I just
wanted him gone. I couldn’t have him up my ass with
questions, professing to care and making me fall for him all
over again—only to leave. I upped my gaze to his.
As strongly as I could, I spoke, “My dad beats me.” His
eyes shadowed further. “I’m a grown woman, and my dad
beats me to a fucking pulp if I put a toe out of line. How
can I fully trust a man when one beats me the moment I get
home?” I paused, letting the words sink in. “Happy?”
The thread was being towed on again. Broken was the
wrong word to use. My dad hadn’t broken me. He’d torn
me to fragments with each bellow, each blow, and each
time I’d ventured to stitch myself back together again with
this fragile piece of thread made from my will. I’d tied it
into a knot, but when Melissa had slapped me that night,
she’d unlaced it.
For the first time, I had let myself cry; in front of
Beckham of all people. Prior to that, he’d had no interest in
my life and me after my supposed betrayal. Men enjoyed
fixing something they considered broken. I didn’t want him
to try and fix me. I wanted him to take the information he
wanted and leave.
“I’m far from fucking happy, Nyx!” Beckham flared. “And
it pisses me off that you think I’d take pleasure in your
pain.” He traversed the span of his room and my eyes
pursued him. His body was quivering with subdued anger.
“Jesus. Whatever happened between us would never be
reason enough to want you constantly in pain.”
I shrugged. “Could’ve fooled me.” I’d always been
reminded of how much Beckham hated me each time he
looked at me. He never sought to disguise his resentment,
up until recently. “After all, I nearly cost you your
captaincy.” He ceased pacing to glance at me. “Even
though I knew how much that captaincy meant to you, I
still threatened to ruin it. So why would you help me? Why
would you care?”
Instantly, he shook his head. “Don’t do that.” I pursed
my lips. “Don’t try and turn this into an argument. I’m
trying to help, for fuck’s sake. And you’re making it so
damn difficult! I want to help you. Nobody deserves to be in
your position. I don’t care what you did in the fucking past
and nothing you say is going to change anything.”
I stared at him, his chest rising and falling rapidly. His
face was pinched and his gaze was imploring. I hated that
my dad made me feel like I didn’t deserve help. Because
this was the outcome; many, many, many frustration-filled
disputes when somebody wanted to help me—which was
rare. I’d had a similar conversation with Nailea once
before.
I leaned back against the window ledge, not knowing
how to react. My body was so tired of this shit. My mind
was exhausted. I was spent. I recalled back to a few days
ago; when nobody had been in my family’s business, when
it was just something Annie and I had to deal with. We were
okay with it, it’d been that way for years. I had this facade
that I put up at school and everyone thought I had my shit
together. Nobody could see through it. But then I’d gone
and made myself look vulnerable.
When I dragged myself back to reality, Beckham was
right in front of me, his palm cupping my cheek. “There’s
nothing you can do to help,” I told him honestly, voice
showcasing my fatigue. “If we get help,” my eyes
moistened, “we’ll lose Indie and Poppy. And I can’t let that
happen.” I shook my head, sniffling. “They’re just babies. I
don’t wanna lose them.”
“You won’t lose them,” Beckham said, but I knew he was
lying to make me feel better.
I would lose my baby sisters. They’d be taken away and
a good family would adopt them and they would hate me
for not doing better to keep them close. After this morning,
I knew we had to speed up our plan, take out a loan,
anything. We needed to get away from our dad.
“Is our truce still in place?” he asked suddenly and I
looked up at him.
My nose scrunched. No matter how stubborn I was, I
had to admit that Beckham appeared genuine in wanting to
help. I recalled Indigo’s words about how I was always
stony with Beckham because I was scared. All the
possibilities of what he could mean to me scared me.
“For the time being,” I whispered. Beckham shook my
hand, a gentle look in his eyes. “I need to get home to
them,” I mumbled, clearing my throat. Beckham nodded,
stepping back and gesticulating to the mugs. A small but
grateful smile rose on my face and I gulped the hot
chocolate. “Thank you, by the way,” I spoke woodenly. “For
earlier. With my dad.”
I didn’t even want to begin to imagine what would’ve
happened if I’d gone home with him. His anger was
intense, worse than ever before.
But Beckham had put him in his place. If I wasn’t as hurt
as I was by my dad’s actions; I would’ve taken pleasure in
seeing him being the prey for once. It was weird to think of
him like that because he’d always been this big guy in the
house that used his strength to his advantage. But
Beckham was bigger, stronger.
The threat he’d issued my dad had given me hope. My
dad was scared of him, that much was clear to see. And
fear restrained people—I would know. The image of
protection Beckham offered both called and intimidated
me.
Beckham scowled. “I hate him.”
A laugh bubbled in my throat. “Finally, something we
have in common.” He smiled, finishing his drink.
After we consumed the hot chocolate, Beckham directed
me to his car and locked the house. When I inquired where
his housemates were, he told me that they regularly went
to get ice cream late at night. That was probably supposed
to ease my nerves. The drive to my place was rigid and I
attempted my best to calm myself down. The only person
who ever drove me home was Nailea. The house was in a
sketchy neighbourhood with even sketchier people.
Central City East; a neighbourhood in downtown Los
Angeles. Most commonly known as Skid Row, the epicentre
of LA’s addiction crisis. Drug abuse was as normal as
breathing here, probably why my mom had had such easy
access. It was basically filth compared to Silver Lake,
Beckham’s neighbourhood. Instead of putting my address
on his phone, I described the directions to him. It gave me
something to do other than stress.
“Can I ask why you got arrested?” he urged as we
paused at a red light.
I shrugged. “Beat up my dad’s new car.” No further
explanation. If I was going to explain this to anybody first,
it needed to be Annie. I could feel Beckham’s gaze on me,
and then his hand on my thigh. He gave a sympathetic
squeeze and left it there. “The light’s green, idiot.” He
chuckled, proceeding to drive. His hand stayed where it
was, providing me with some warmth.
Soon, we pulled up in front of the dismal house. He
didn’t say anything, thankfully. There were people roaming
around outside, mostly groups of teens looking for
somebody to mug. Beckham trailed me out of the car and,
voice filled with humiliation, I advised him to make sure it
was locked. We didn’t need his vehicle getting hot-wired
and stolen. He laughed, following me to the door. Annie’s
truck wasn’t in the driveway because my dad had taken it
as punishment.
Digging into my backpack, I unearthed my keys and
unlocked the door. The aroma of brownies hit my nose and I
smiled to myself. I ushered Beckham inside and shut the
door. He peeped around, gazing at the pictures of my
sisters and me.
“Nyxie!” A bullet of energy raced towards me and Indigo
jumped. I caught her just in time, burrowing my face into
her neck. She clung to me and I did the same to her.
“Daddy said you weren’t coming home tonight,” she
whispered against my neck and I stroked the fluffy material
of her onesie.
“I can’t stay away from my favourite girls for too long,” I
teased, moving back to stare into her pretty brown eyes.
“Why’s there chocolate all over your face?”
Indigo beamed bashfully. “Annie’s making brownies.”
She noticed Beckham. “Ew. What are you doing here?”
Beckham smiled, tipping forward to tousle her hair.
“Nice to see you too.”
His actions were slow and gentle, and I felt that tingling
sensation in my chest. He didn’t want to frighten Indigo. I
carried her into the kitchen, finding Poppy on the counter,
her face concealed in a huge plastic bowl.
Her onesie was the same as Indigo’s. The latter plunged
to the ground and seized the bowl from her sister. Poppy
looked up, face camouflaged in chocolate. She noticed
Beckham and grinned. “Hello, Mr Beckham.”
“Miss Poppy,” he nodded.
I motioned for him to take a seat at the table before
asking, “Where’s Annie?”
Just as the words left my lips, Annie tripped into the
kitchen. If I’d thought the girls were dirty, Annie blew them
out of the water. It looked like somebody dropped a bag of
flour on her hair. Chocolate stuck to her face and apron.
Annie gasped when she saw Beckham. “I didn’t know we
were having visitors.”
Indigo licked chocolate from her fingers. “There’s no
visitors.” She pointed at Beckham. “Just that guy.” I
laughed softly as the two glared at each other. Annie was
grinning at me and I felt my heart decline.
Slowly, my laughter died down and Annie noticed. She
took in my bandaged hands, my swollen eyes, and suddenly
overanalysed Beckham’s presence. Just like that, she
cleared her throat and walked to our room. I looked at
Beckham and he shot me a thumbs up. I offered a smile
before following Annie. Once we were safely in our room, I
shut the door.
“Dad called to say you had literature camp. I knew that
was a lie. What happened?”
“I got arrested,” I began mildly and her eyes filled with
distress. “Because I beat up Dad’s new car. I noticed it this
morning when Nailea picked up breakfast on our way to
class.” Annie looked disoriented, probably because our dad
always drove his rusty old car. “After practice, I had her
drop me at the supermarket close to where I saw the car. It
was still there and so was he.”
She touched her lips, features clouding with uncertainty.
“I don’t understand.”
My voice trembled with the gravity of what I was saying.
Annie had always held out hope that our dad would change,
that he’d be a proper dad again. She thought if we behaved
how he wanted us to, he’d recognise we were perfect like
he wanted. It was a silly dream of hers, one she wouldn’t
let go of.
And I was about to slaughter it.
“It was in a nice neighbourhood,” I persevered, walking
towards her and holding her hands in mine. “I know what
he does with the money we give him.” Money that we
worked hard for to make him happy. A lump developed in
my throat and each word was uncomfortable. “He,” I
choked on my words, “he has another family, Annie.”
I watched the life leave her eyes. But she was still
breathing, still standing. Her body was convulsing, she was
crying, she was falling. My arms were encompassing her
and we tumbled to the ground as she wailed into my chest.
She clawed at the sweater I was wearing, pulling me,
pushing me. It was the worst kind of cry, the soundless one.
Her mouth was open in anguish, but I couldn’t hear
anything. My ears were ringing.
I couldn’t find it in myself to tell her more. I couldn’t tell
her that he had a wife, and two perfect little girls around
Indigo’s age. Two girls that looked exactly like him. I
couldn’t tell her that that’s probably where he went when
he didn’t come home. I couldn’t tell her that he’d looked
content with his family. They hadn’t looked petrified of him.
I couldn’t tell her that I’d witnessed him taking his girls for
a stroll, laughing, smiling as he directed them into the
house.
I couldn’t tell her that I’d sobbed as I reached for the
spray paint I’d bought at the supermarket. I couldn’t tell
her that I’d decorated disgusting words on his car, that I’d
struck the windows in with my fists, punctured his tires. I
couldn’t tell her that it had felt like my world was falling
apart, like we were doing everything for nothing, seeking
his approval for nothing.
He had his perfect daughters. He didn’t want us, never
wanted us.
Never had he looked at any of us the way he did those
two girls. I couldn’t tell her how I’d screeched at him when
a neighbour had called the police, how I’d wailed like a
baby when his new wife had questioned who I was. She
didn’t know about us, didn’t know about the daughters he
beat. I couldn’t tell her how I’d willingly gotten into the
police car because I couldn’t stand to look at him. I just
couldn’t.
She didn’t deserve that torture when she’d spent years
trying to be a good daughter. Our dad had the fucking
audacity to get pissed at her for seeking a father within
Uncle Robbie as a young girl but then went and had a
whole other fucking family. Replacing us.
He was a hypocrite of the worst kind.
I dragged Annie’s practically debilitated body to the bed,
feeling myself quivering. Annie was crying into her cushion
as she told me to check on the girls, and reassure them
everything was going to be okay. But how could I? Wiping
my face, I shut the door on her excruciating cries and
shuffled to the kitchen.
Indigo was in Beckham’s arms, playing on his phone.
Poppy was on the counter, slicing the fresh brownies and
the smell intensified. It seemed like Indigo was taking
pictures of the brownies, urging Beckham to help them
start a business so they could help make money. He
promised her he would. The two girls quickly fell into a
discussion about their logo and customers.
Beckham saw me hiding in the hallway and put Indigo
on the counter before walking to me. He didn’t say
anything, cupping the back of my head and dragging me to
his chest. I’d once said that I only hated Beckham because
he hated me, and that was what I always told myself. But,
at that moment, I knew for sure that I didn’t hate Beckham.
I hated what he represented; somebody who cared about
me. The men in my life—at least those that had claimed to
love me—only ever treated that love like a transaction. I’d
give and give and give to make them happy, just like how a
business needed revenue to stay afloat. I’d give and receive
nothing at all. Love shouldn’t take from you. It should give.
And it terrified me that I felt all the strength Beckham
was trying to give me through a singular embrace.
OceanofPDF.com
T he auditorium was stuffed with people who came to
see the fashion show, looking very energetic for a
Monday evening. In just a week, Nyx had managed to
plan the entire thing. The decorations were amazing and
the food was ordered from a list of small businesses. Nyx’s
involvement in the entire community was going to stack up
some serious points, but I knew it wasn’t all about the
points to her. She genuinely enjoyed hosting these events,
organising it all, and then watching her artistry come to
life.
I could hear the crowd applauding as another one of my
team members took the stage. The designers really
exceeded themselves and it was obvious that they’d have
one hell of a career after school. Jai wandered past me,
donning a brilliant white suit. Jasper’s looked the same,
except his was a dark blue colour.
Oliver paraded in a green suit and his second outfit was
a tiny black dress that he forced his brawny body into. The
crowd went ballistic with applause and Oliver lapped it all
up, grinning. A few more guys showcased newly made
jerseys that supporters of the Trojans could wear to games.
There were plenty of those, enough for everyone to go
around.
Girls from the volleyball team had volunteered to model
as well. Even Nailea was here, wearing a bedazzling red
dress that many people were already bidding for. It was a
smart move on Nyx’s behalf. She knew that if Nailea was
seen wearing something, everybody would suddenly want
it.
Jasper marched out with his second outfit of the night,
an emerald evening gown draping from his lean body. It
had a glittery trail that Oliver held up when they sauntered
onto the stage. When Jasper and Oliver were together, they
always gave me a headache. It was like the two were
constantly high in each other’s presence. Oliver tousled his
red hair, striking a pose and winking. Jasper held his head
high, hands on his hips and beaming at everyone.
Sebastian grimaced when it was his turn because he
didn’t want to model. He stood at the curtains, refusing to
unveil himself to the audience. I didn’t see his problem—he
looked good in his suit. After many more arguments with
the designers, Nailea rolled her eyes and curved her arm
through his, hauling him out. He nearly slipped over
Nailea’s new silver dress before finding his footing. I
chuckled as she accompanied him around the stage, waving
at the audience. He didn’t look happy but got his job done.
“Prince Charming!” Indigo bellowed from her seat in
Beth’s lap. Poppy sat next to them, filming everything.
Annie was there too, holding a bag of popcorn.
Sebastian’s lips quirked slightly at the sight of Indigo.
He let go of Nailea and plodded down the steps, reaching a
hand out for Indigo. Her chubby cheeks turned red and
Sebastian shovelled her into his arms.
So much for hating kids.
Poppy, Beth and Annie clapped as he carried her away.
When he hopped back onto the stage, Indigo was burying
her face in his neck as the audience cheered along with her
sisters. He whispered something to her and she gently
lifted her face to stare at him. He muttered something
again and she glanced at the audience.
And then she grinned, waving avidly.
Sebastian hooked his arm through Nailea’s before they
vanished behind the curtain with Indigo. The latter grinned
when she spotted Benson at a desk, marking off the outfits
that were modelled already. Recently, she’d taken to calling
him Santa, much to his annoyance. She sprinted towards
him and scrambled onto his lap so she could stare at the
lists. Benson handed her a pen and showed her where to
tick off.
Nailea and Sebastian disappeared to get their next
outfits. Nyx then arrived backstage, being fussed over by
some designers. My breath left my body when I took in her
outfit. She wore a deep blue silk dress that was backless
and plunged low in the front. A lace cardigan was over it,
but I could see hints of her skin through it. Her hair was
pulled into an elegant bun, allowing her features to be
ogled at.
“I was wondering when you’d look at her like that
again.”
I tipped my head, locating Grayson next to me. He was
donning a grey suit with a black shirt and matching shoes.
Like me, he’d been hiding and wouldn’t step foot onto the
stage.
His words suddenly hit me and I scowled. “Fuck off.”
Grayson chortled, laying a hand on my shoulder. “The
last time you looked at her like that was before Nate.” I
shrugged his hand off, prompting him to smirk. “And she
didn’t even know.”
He hummed to himself as if the world was a show he
enjoyed watching. Grayson usually came in handy when he
marked every little detail, like Sebastian, but it got
vexatious quickly.
 I hated thinking about Nate. People always said to move
on, but I couldn’t bring myself to, not when he was the
reason for my team’s pain. He may have been gone, but
he’d still left his mark. I could see it when Jasper expected
me to yell at him, or when Oliver and Jai involuntarily
became too competitive with each other. It would take a
while for things to go back to normal, and I was doing my
best to help the team in every way that I could.
My attention stirred to Nyx as the designers quarrelled
with her because she wouldn’t take off the lace cardigan as
it covered the style of the dress. There was a weird glint in
her eyes as she stood steady, refusing to remove the
cardigan.
“It looks fine like this,” she contended, crossing her
arms obstinately. Whenever she got like that, it was difficult
to get through to her. She’d made up her mind and the
designers were fighting a losing battle.
One designer huffed, parodying Nyx’s stance. “No, it
doesn’t. It’s ruining the look.” Nyx grew antsy, begging
them to let her keep the cardigan. Begging. Nyx didn’t beg.
Indigo darted towards me and raised her hands so that I
could pick her up. I frowned because I’d thought the little
demon despised me. And I was standing next to Grayson,
somebody she obviously preferred over me.
When I elevated her, she whispered into my ear. “She’s
got a really ugly bruise on her back.” I closed my eyes,
sighing. Nyx hadn’t mentioned what happened after her
dad had finally returned home. I assumed it was too painful
for her to talk about. Or she didn’t want me to get involved
again.
Handing Indigo to Grayson, I strolled towards Nyx and
settled my hands on her shoulders, nodding my head at the
designers. They’d been wary of me throughout the show
because whenever one of them tried to get me to go onto
the stage, I flipped them the bird. Nyx stiffened as I gently
peeled the cardigan from her skin. I kept myself pressed
close so that her back was only for my eyes.
Once the cardigan was off, I found the purple bruise on
her lower back. Indigo was right when she’d said it was
ugly. The edges were yellow and the closer it got to the
centre; it deepened to several shades of blue and purple. I
didn’t want to envision what her dad had done to leave a
brand like this. Twirling her around, I splayed a hand over
the bruise, concealing it from everyone’s view.
“C’mon,” I hummed and directed her towards the wings.
We stopped at the curtain, waiting for Jasper to finish his
dramatic production. Although the skin beneath my hand
was creamlike, I could still sense the distress it had gone
through. “Does it hurt?” I urged, watching Jasper strut his
stuff in a pair of wedges as the audience laughed,
pretending to throw money at him.
Nyx shuddered, blinking hastily. “It always hurts,” she
responded without looking at me. “Even when the marks
have long left my skin. I still sense his hands.”
It was just us in the wings so she didn’t bother to
whisper. She dipped down and began pulling up her dress
until it was bunched around her waist. I cleared my throat
and looked away. Too much confidence was never a bad
thing, but I always dreaded the day Nyx stripped naked in
front of the entire school.
Her black thong was exposed and she took my free
hand, leading it to her hip. Just beneath the waistband, I
felt a smooth bump on her hipbone that I’d never noticed
before. Or maybe I had, but chose to see it as a childhood
scar. We all had one of those.
“What’s that?”
She attempted a smile and I knew this was her way of
letting me in. “My dad burned me with a cigarette when I
was ten. I—”
I pressed my lips against hers and her dress fell back to
her feet as her hands went to my hair. Mine slid to her ass,
one covering the sordid bruise as if I had the mystic ability
to make it vanish. She melted in my arms again, just like
the first two times, and I tugged her closer, moving my lips
against hers. Her mouth opened and I thrust my tongue
inside. As I kissed her, I made a vow to myself to never pick
up another cigarette, not when something as insignificant
as that could cause a woman so much pain.
When I drew away, her eyes were still closed. I took a
moment to gaze at her creamy skin, long lashes, button
nose and plump lips. I’d despised this girl for so long
because of what she’d done. But I was beginning to think
there was more to the story than what she allowed me to
read.
“Do you miss it?” I asked abruptly, frantic to know the
answer. She blinked in bewilderment, tilting her head. I
cleared my throat before muttering, “Us. Do you miss it?”
Nyx smiled, one filled with memories. “You sound a little
desperate, Hunt,” she taunted, looking reluctant to spill
how she was truly feeling. I should’ve expected it. “Are you
sure you wanna know the answer?” I nodded. She pursed
her lips, eyes closing in deliberation. Or maybe she just
didn’t want to meet my gaze. “You were the first man I’d
ever felt safe with,” she expressed in a quavering tone, no
matter how hard she tried to stabilise it. “So what do you
think? Do I miss it?”
“I’m sorry.” It seemed to be the only words I could form;
like my body was making up for all the times I should’ve
apologised to her but hadn’t. “If I’d stayed, maybe things
would’ve been different,” I told her truthfully.
She would’ve trusted me enough to eventually know
more about her family. Money wasn’t an issue for me. I
would’ve used all that I had to get the Taylor girls away
from their abuser.
“If,” she whispered, pithily glimpsing over to where
more students took to the stage. “If my mom hadn’t been a
doormat, she would’ve taken us with her or gotten us out of
that situation. If I hadn’t met Nate and cared so much
about him,” I bristled, “I would’ve left his problems and
focused on my own. If I wasn’t so terrified of letting you in,
maybe you could’ve helped. There’s no end to the ifs,
Beck.” She closed her eyes again.
I spoke without thinking. “There didn’t have to be an
end to us, though.”
If we’d just handled things differently. If she’d told me
why Nate was more important. If I’d allowed myself to stay
instead of leaving, to listen.
“Maybe,” she murmured, pulling me from my thoughts.
Her eyes were open now, watching me in understanding. I
bit back a curse because she knew what I was thinking
about. She removed my hands from her and stepped back.
“But I can’t bring myself to say sorry.” My jaw twitched as I
stared at her. “As much as you want to lie to yourself, you
know you still somewhat resent me for it.”
I crossed my arms. “We’re not the same people we were
last year. Change is inevitable.”
She shook her head, pursing her lips. “But, if given the
opportunity to rewind time, I’d do it all again.” Her words
held an underlying meaning, one I couldn’t figure out. “You
got what you wanted, which was the captaincy. If even one
variable was changed, the outcome could’ve been way
different. Maybe Nate would still be here, maybe he would
still even be captain.”
Our truce had stated that she wouldn’t bring up Nate to
piss me off, but I could see this wasn’t one of those times. I
knew she mentioned him to keep me at bay, to switch from
a regular conversation to an argument that would allow her
an escape, and it always worked. But as I stared at her, I
saw something my anger hadn’t previously allowed me to
see. My mom had said Nyx kept me at bay because she was
scared of being hurt again, but there was something else. I
could see it.
 The answers I needed were in what happened with Nate.
And because I despised him, Nyx knew I would never want
to dive into my past with him.
It was a test.
She was checking to see if I’d repeat my past mistakes.
My hatred for Nate had made me walk away from her
before, all because I wouldn’t ask questions. But not this
time.
My mouth opened to say something, but I was
interrupted by the appearance of Jasper as he motioned for
us to take the stage. I settled my hand on her back,
covering the bruise.
“One day, you’re gonna tell me what actually happened
with Nate.”
She floundered, clearly not having expected that. “What
are you—”
“Trust is a two-way street, I understand that.” I glanced
down at her with a smirk, noting her wide eyes framed by
long mascara-coated lashes. “This is me saying I trust you.”
And then I guided her onto the stage.

The rain was hammering on the roof of Daisy’s Delicacies

where I sat after practice. The boys had all headed to Jai’s
place for a movie night, since it was a Friday, a few days
before our next match against UCLA. Although the fashion
show was another smash, Benson was right when he’d said
we couldn’t rely on the points accumulated by Nyx’s
events. We couldn’t risk slacking.
The next match was an away game and we were
departing Sunday afternoon and staying at a hotel to be on
time for the match in the morning. It was a mere
seventeen-minute drive to UCLA, but the school didn’t have
their own ice rink. They trained and held games at The
Cube Santa Clarita, a rink about a forty-five minute drive
away. I was going to lose my mind in a bus with Benson.
My brain was hurting because of how long I’d been
working on my essay. It was for my class in star and star
formation. We had the decision to select a star to work on
and I’d chosen the binary star because I’d felt like it related
to me. If you could relate to something, it was easier to
write about it. I typed a few more words onto the laptop,
grabbing my pen and making some notes in my journal.
Reaching for my coffee, I saw Annie over the screen of my
laptop. She was taking the order of an elderly woman, but
she kept peeping out the window, waiting for something.
She was friendlier than her sister, presumably because
Nyx was always the one who shielded her sisters. When I’d
arrived, Annie had grinned at me as if I was an old friend.
She didn’t seem to mind that I knew what I did, or that I’d
heard her crying that night. She was also more trusting
than her sister; I realised. I took another sip of my coffee.
“Slight warning,” Annie said as she stopped next to my
table. “Nyx is on her way and she’s not too happy with
you.” I snorted. She wasn’t ever happy with me. A cloth hit
me in the face and I glared at Annie. “I’m serious.”
It was weird seeing Annie return my glare. She had the
face that just made you want to give her the world and the
gaze of somebody seeking to give and receive affection.
“Don’t tell me you girls swap secrets at night?” I teased,
rolling my eyes. “What did she say about me?” Part of me
was serious. I wanted to know what Nyx told her sisters
about me.
Ever since I’d first met Indigo, I’d been intrigued. If she
knew me based on what she’d overhead Nyx saying, I could
only imagine what Annie knew. The latter examined her
surroundings, probably in case Donovan caught her
conversing with the customers. He was still a shit manager
and I wouldn’t be shocked if his business went bankrupt
soon. People stopped coming because of his ludicrous
prices and his treatment of everyone. His mother would be
disappointed.
“Nothing,” Annie revealed and I frowned. “That’s the
problem. Usually, she complains about you trying to force
your way into her life.” I said nothing, still firm in my
decision to trust Nyx. “I’m guessing you stopped forcing.”
Women were so fucking complicated. “Shouldn’t that
make her happy?”
The brunette gave me the stare of a discontented mom.
“No, idiot.” I threw my hands up in exasperation. “Men are
so stupid.” Saying nothing else, she left.
I scowled at the table, wondering why Nyx was so
fucking difficult to figure out. For the next twenty minutes,
I could get nothing done because whenever Annie passed
me, she muttered ‘idiot’ under her breath. It didn’t help
that Beth was working the cash register and she kept
laughing at me.
After another few minutes, Annie’s truck was stationed
outside and Nyx jumped out, tugging her hood up to shield
herself from the rain as she speed-walked towards the door.
It’d been uncomfortable between us—on her end—since the
fashion show, which had been four days ago. This was
probably because she hadn’t expected me to be a good dog
and lay down. Instead of using Nate against her, I chose to
trust her, something that my mom was hounding me on.
She’ll tell you the truth once you stop treating her like a
criminal that wronged you, dumbass.
I loved visiting my mom, nothing like a lecture from her
to whip me back into shape. Once I’d taken her advice, Nyx
began acting weird. I gave her space, only speaking to her
if it was important and regarding the team. The bell above
the door jingled upon her entrance and she shook the rain
from her hair. She waved at her sister, but her destination
was unmistakably me. I didn’t look at her when she slid
into the seat opposite me.
 “You haven’t been answering my emails,” she
commenced without greeting as she scoured through her
backpack, pulling out her notebook. “So I assumed it would
be better to deliver this in person.” She pushed a page
towards me. “This is a list of young boys from a struggling
middle school. It’s for my next event.”
I continued typing. “The last one just ended.”
The skin of my cheek burned where I could feel her
glare. “Yes, but I’m trying to plan everything out. For the
next event, it’s just going to be you and your team teaching
these boys how to play ice hockey.” I saw her shrug from
the corner of my eye. “We won’t be making any money
because the lesson will be free.” She grinned suddenly.
“Unless you count the brownies that Indigo and Poppy will
be selling at their little stand.”
I folded the page she delivered to me and tucked it into
my journal. “Thanks.” And then I concentrated on my essay
again. Nyx didn’t disappear, even after five minutes of me
typing away. I paused. “Was that all?”
She glowered at me. “What’s your problem?”
“I don’t have one,” I informed her, glancing at my notes
for a second. She opened her mouth to say something, but I
beat her to it. “I offered you help, and until you trust me
enough to accept it, I’m showing that I trust you. That
means no longer behaving like an asshole.”
“I believe you when you say you wanna help.” I still
didn’t look at her. “It’s just difficult to accept it. Wanting
you to hate me is a defence mechanism. It’s easier that
way.”
“And how is me hating you easier?” I questioned
rhetorically, gripping my pen to write something down. My
mind felt paralysed from overthinking.
She shrugged, numerous emotions passing through her
eyes. “Somebody has to hate me for what I did.”
“And you don’t hate yourself for what you did?”
Her gaze met mine, clashing. “I can’t.”
 She’d asked me what I had to gain from helping her, and
now I wondered the same; what did she have to gain by
helping Nate? We all knew he paid her for the resources
and everything, but that couldn’t have been enough.
Startlingly, she didn’t seem to hold him in the highest
regard anymore. If she hated him, she wouldn’t have
helped him. But maybe she had liked him. And then
something had gone wrong.
It was silent between us again until she spoke. “What
are you doing?” This was her way of changing the subject,
whisking our current predicament under the carpet. She
seized my journal and I grunted in annoyance, having
thought she’d leave if I kept my mouth shut. Her eyes
examined the pages before she looked at me with a
bewildered pout. “What exactly is your major?”
She’d never asked me that before, and that should’ve
been a hint for me that she wasn’t planning on staying. She
hadn’t planned on making me a fixed person in her life.
“Astrophysics.”
Her eyes widened and she stared at me in surprise. “I
was not expecting that. Holy shit. You’re a little nerd.”
“And you’re a little bitch,” I grumbled, still typing.
Few people knew what I majored in. They all just
assumed I was a thick-headed fool there to play ice hockey.
But I enjoyed what I studied. It was interesting and kept
me on my toes; like the minx in front of me.
Nyx crawled underneath the table and then darted back
up on my side, scooting against me. “Binary stars?” she
pondered out loud as she looked at my screen, trying to
make sense of it all. Her eyes were filled with curiosity, as if
she’d never given stars a second thought before.
Growing up, my mom would always take me to the
beach at night or we’d even lie in the backyard, trying to
spot and name stars. It was where my love for stars had
originated. With a sharp clench in my chest, I understood
Nyx wouldn’t have had something like that.
 “Two stars orbiting a common centre of mass,” I
informed her, feeling her lean closer to squint at my laptop.
I scrolled through my assignment and halted at a picture of
a binary star system. “See that? The brighter star is listed
as the primary star and the darker one is the secondary
star.” She nodded and I overcame a smile. “Binary pairs are
ranked according to their orbit. I’m concentrating on close
binaries. Stars in this system can shift their mass to each
other and sometimes exert a gravitational pull powerful
enough to pull the smaller star in completely.”
I didn’t tell her I imagined her as the primary star, the
brighter one, luring me in with each passing day. It was one
reason why I was puzzled about whether I hated her or still
desired her. You could never really tell with tension, and
there was always tension within a binary star system.
Nyx pulled a face. “So do they just continue to orbit
around each other forever?” To her, it may have sounded
confusing, but I liked the thought of it.
“If one star in a close binary system collapses in a
supernova, the other star can be destroyed.” Her eyes held
mine as I explained. I noticed her shudder and wondered if
the same thoughts were tearing through her head.
“However, it can survive and will proceed to orbit the newly
formed body, perhaps even passing on more of its material;
helping their partner to rebuild, even at the expense of
itself.”
She smiled. “So, a binary star system is just a
euphemism for a toxic relationship?”
Not really. If anything, it was a good thing. The stars
helped each other, keeping one another afloat. People could
learn a few things from them, how to trust and how to stick
by when things became difficult. It was a lesson I
apparently needed.
I chuckled. “Well, according to Sir William Herschel, a
binary star is the union of two stars that are formed
together in one system by the law of attraction.” Something
flickered in her bright eyes at the mention of the law. The
apples of her cheeks were red and she wouldn’t meet my
eyes. “Sound familiar?”
An amused smirk formed on her lips. “Law of
attraction,” she mused, sinking back into the seat. The term
was clearly familiar to her. It’d been popping up
everywhere when I’d searched for an essay topic. Maybe
the world was trying to tell her something, too. Nyx
climbed over my lap so that she could leave the booth.
Suddenly, she gripped my hoodie and yanked me close, her
nose against mine as she smiled. “Don’t ignore me, asshole.
I don’t like it.”
“Don’t be a bitch,” I shot back, lips brushing against
hers. “I don’t like it.”
Nyx grinned, stepping back and grabbing her bag. “Law
of attraction,” she echoed, still grinning. “You know, I
attended a philosophy class where they spoke about it.”
I raised a brow. “Did you now?”
She nodded, driving a hand through her wet hair. “Yeah,
what’s meant for me will find me and all that shit.” I
smirked. She picked up my pen, twirling it between her
fingers. I watched her in amusement. “Say, if I lost this pen,
if it was truly meant for me it would find me again, right?”
A laugh left me at the ludicrous analogy and I was
unable to stop it. Nyx wasn’t even attempting to be subtle.
Then again, she never was. “I guess, yeah. Why?” I asked
with a tilt of my head. “You lose something recently?”
Her eyes twinkled with barely restrained laughter. She
ran her tongue over her bottom lip before asking, “Did
you?”
My lips quirked. “Maybe,” I shrugged. “I’m an idiot,” she
hummed in agreement and I feigned a scowl, “I lose a lot of
things. We’ll just have to see if the law of attraction brings
any of my shit back.” I offered her a smile.
She snorted, swaying on her feet. “Tinkerbell finds lost
things, you know?” she spoke, referencing the nickname I’d
once given her. It was fitting. “I could help you find the shit
you’re looking for.”
Without looking at her, I said, “Maybe this time
Tinkerbell’s a lost thing herself.” She stayed silent and
when I looked up at her, her cheeks were flushed. I wanted
to reach out and pull her into my arms. I’d missed it,
missed the way I could make her blush. Only I could do
that, she gave everybody else the death stare.
After we’d parted ways, I’d thought I would never be
able to pull a reaction like that from her again. Nyx was
biting her lip now, trying not to smile. And then she turned
on her heel.
“Law of attraction!” she yelled suddenly and I snorted,
questioning her sanity. She’d do whatever it took to avoid
talking about her feelings.
Donovan peeked his head out of the staff doors. “Stop
disturbing my customers!”
She held up two middle fingers and Beth laughed. “Suck
my fat cock, Donovan!”
Before he could say anything else, she left the cafe,
trudging to the truck. Her hood was down, and the rain
completely drenched her. As she hopped into the vehicle,
she caught my eye and mouthed something. I didn’t have to
hear her to know what she said.
Law of attraction.
I turned back to my essay, laughing. Annie paused next
to me again, waving as Nyx drove away. “You know, she’s
already had that happen to her, the whole exploding into a
supernova thing. Last year, when everything fell apart,” she
mumbled and I apprehended she’d been eavesdropping.
Her deep brown eyes landed on me and she squeezed my
shoulder in comfort. “And you’re proving to her you
survived it.”

OceanofPDF.com
P oppy and Indigo had been up late last night, having a
Barbie marathon on my laptop, so it was no surprise
that they were sleeping in. What was a surprise was
the man sitting opposite me, peacefully eating breakfast.
He had a plate of scrambled eggs and bacon with a cup of
steaming coffee. I forked some bacon into my mouth,
keeping a wary eye on him. He hadn’t slept here last night.
I would’ve heard him come in.
“This is amazing,” he spoke around a mouthful of food,
the bruise at his cheekbone dancing with each chew.
“Compliments to the chef.”
Annie was behind the kitchen counter and she looked at
me with wide eyes, miming with her hands as if asking
what the fuck our dad was doing home. Scrambled egg shot
off from her fork with her wild movement and she bent to
pick it up.
We hadn’t seen our dad since the night he’d came home
to deal with me after I’d destroyed his car. Perhaps it had
been naïve of me to think that Beckham’s threat had
cautioned him. I still couldn’t touch the broom after he’d
beaten me with it. Annie had kept the girls in our room and
I’d tried my hardest to not make a sound. I never wanted
them to have to hear my cries.
A bonus point was that it pissed good old Matty Taylor
off I didn’t make a sound of agony.
Picking up my fork, I chewed around some eggs. “Your
wife doesn’t cook for you?” I sought absentmindedly,
reaching for my orange juice. Annie hopped to her feet,
mouth open. She looked at our dad, anticipating him to
lunge across the table.
He didn’t. I thought he’d be unsettled about us knowing
about his other family, yet he wasn’t. If I wasn’t so good at
reading him, I wouldn’t have picked up that he was
gloating. He was proud of his other family, loved them more
than us.
Inquiries were working through my mind about why his
life hadn’t worked out here. It felt like my family was
nothing but a trial run for him, to see if that life befitted
somebody like him. And then when he’d apprehended he
did want a family, he preferred others.
Somebody needed to let him know that this wasn’t The
Sims. There were no swapping families after you got sick of
them
A wicked smirk formed on his lips, made even more
ghastly by the black eye he was sporting. “Not really,” he
answered, nibbling at his bacon and crunching in
contentment. “If you hadn’t noticed that day you kindly
destroyed my new car,” I smirked, “she lives in a pleasant
neighbourhood so she’s rather well off. Has her own cook.”
It was supposed to anger us because he was living
lavishly whilst we struggled. Regrettably for him, I didn’t
care and would’ve let the comment spiral down my back.
But I marked Annie’s crestfallen expression. She tried to
hide it, preparing the lunchboxes for the girls for when
Georgia took them to the park with Julie later today.
“If she’s so rich, why do you still take money from us?” I
demanded, keeping my gaze levelled with his. If I dropped
my stare, he’d think he won. And I would never let him.
He placed his cup of coffee down, fists clenched. It
delighted me when he got like this. He sought to give off
the impression that he was in a jovial mood and refused to
let me get to him. But I always did. I was like an annoying
rash. In your asshole. He’d mistaken my heartbreak for fear
that day he'd picked me up from the station.
But I wasn’t scared of him.
“Are you trying to start a fight?” he asked.
A father trying to start a fight with his daughter. How
cute. I shrugged. “If there’s a worthy opponent, then sure.”
His eye twitched. “But, I don’t see any. Pity.”
“You’re testing me, Nyxie,” he tutted, shaking his head
whilst speaking in an admonishing tone. “I thought you
learnt your lesson about disrespecting me.”
“And I thought you learnt your lesson that I’m not a little
girl anymore.” I gesticulated to the split lip he was
sporting. “Matches the one you gave me when I was eight.”
He clutched the end of the table, prompting my cup of
orange juice and his coffee to flounder. “It’s repugnant that
you have to hit a woman to feel like a fucking man—”
My dad slammed his hand on the table. “You better wash
that mouth of yours!”
Tilting my head, I blasted back, “It’s gonna stay dirty
whether or not I wash it because I suck my boyfriend’s dick
with it.” Everything went still. Annie froze as she poured
herself juice and my dad appeared to be containing an
outraged bellow. “You remember Beckham, don’t you?”
I didn’t bother to conceal my smile. My dad knew better
than to maintain this dispute when he knew I could easily
involve Beckham’s dad. I wouldn’t, but he didn’t know that.
“I don’t approve of your boyfriend, Nyxie, treating me
the way he did,” he tutted, keeping his anger in check as he
shifted tensely. The very mention of Beckham seemed to
put him on edge, making me think that his threat hadn’t
gone unheard after all.
 “Your opinion means squat to me,” I easily replied
before nodding towards his black eye and bruised
cheekbone. “The fuck happened to your face? I gave you
the split lip—you’re welcome, by the way—but I think I
would’ve remembered if I rammed your face into a pole.”
My interrogation pissed him off. Did the man really think
we wouldn’t question his appearance? He looked as if he’d
gotten hit by a truck and I didn’t miss his wince each time
he shifted in his seat.
Before he could say anything, Annie appeared with more
bacon. She laid it on his plate, smiling. Peacekeeper, as
always. Just like she’d hoped, he calmed down.
“You know, Annie,” our dad began, picking up another
piece of bacon, “speaking of respectful boyfriends; a
colleague of mine has a son your age.” When he wasn’t
looking, Annie pulled a face and I rolled my eyes. “I think
you guys would make a perfect match.”
Anybody who was friends with him was insane, so I sure
as shit wouldn’t let him set Annie up with anybody that he
knew. Besides, she had Beth.
“You don’t know her, so how would you know if they’re a
perfect match?” I questioned lightly.
My dad glared at me. “I know my daughter.” His words
were suddenly heated.
“Still jealous of a dead man I see,” I hummed.
Everything went hushed.
Annie’s mouth was open in surprise at the fact that I’d
dare mention the man he hated the most. He’d never
gotten over how much we’d preferred Uncle Robbie over
him. The latter had done duties that were supposed to
belong to our dad. Pathetic. Our dad was pathetic and
instead of appreciating that we’d had somebody when he’d
gone rogue—he chose to be jealous.
I watched his eye twitch, his chest vibrating with
restraint. I waited for him to start yelling. Weirdly enough,
he didn’t. But the smirk on his face made me wonder who
truly had the upper hand. He continued speaking as if I
didn’t just provoke him.
“I know that Ted’s son is a better person than the last
asshole that broke her heart.” Annie tensed as he pointed
at me. “And if I remember correctly, you brought him into
our lives.” My frustration grew. He just had to bring that
up.
Annie blanketed my mouth with her hand to prevent me
from retaliating. “Dad, please,” she begged the ruthless
man that was glowering at me. “Let’s not bring Nate into
this. It’s in the past and I’d like for it to stay that way.”
I pushed to my feet and went straight for my room,
shutting the door behind me. Why did it feel as if all my
fucking problems began and ended with Nate? He was a
major obstruction between me and Beckham.
I thought back to what he’d said about binary stars. Last
night, I’d been on my phone; investigating as much as I
could. The law of attraction meant that like attracted like.
It was vexatious to think that Beckham and I were still
attracted to each other. And I couldn’t forget the effect of
his kisses on me. I didn’t enjoy having a weakness and I
needed to figure out how to get rid of it.
Beckham could end up being my downfall—again.
The door to the room opened and Annie slipped inside. I
abhorred hearing Nate’s name on her lips. It was painful to
hear the heartbreak in her voice, even after all this time.
She opened her mouth but I articulated before she could.
“Annie, don’t.”
She didn’t listen. “I’m sorry.”
“Try saying that without looking like you’re a breath
away from bawling your eyes out,” I expressed, making
sure that I had everything packed. “I’ve told you before,
there’s nothing to be sorry about.” We’d had this
conversation one too many times.
Annie groaned, tugging at her short hair. “There’s a lot
to be sorry about, Nyxie.”
 “Yeah,” I nodded, “I’m sorry that I ruined your
relationship with the one fucking man you were able to love
and loved you in return,” I fired at her, feeling my eyes
sting. My dad knew it hurt both of us when he brought
Nate up, and he still did it. When I heard a sniffle, I knew I
had to leave. The guilt was suffocating.
Her hand was suddenly around my wrist. “Funny,” she
stated, but her tone conveyed that she didn’t find it funny
at all, “I was about to tell you the same thing.” I froze,
seeing my reflection in Annie’s moist eyes. “Nate chose to
leave me—”
“And Beckham chose to leave me,” I finished, annoyed
that we were still on this topic.
Yet, Annie wasn’t done. “Beckham wouldn’t have felt the
need to leave if I didn’t let you go along with that foolish
plan to help Nate—”
“And Nate wouldn’t have felt the need to leave you if I
hadn’t formulated that foolish plan in the first place,” I cut
her off, breathing heavily. We stared at each other, both of
us practically overflowing with pent up emotion.
She spoke first. “But ask yourself which one of them is
back.” My lips parted, but no words came out. “Nate knew
about our home life and he still left me because his pride
was hurt. Beckham knew nothing about your family and he
left because his pride was hurt. Now he knows and he’s
back. Are you really gonna let that go to waste?”
Childishly, I grimaced. “You know I wouldn’t let myself
be happy if you weren’t.” It was an immature response, but
the truth, nonetheless. “My plan was supposed to benefit
both sides, Annie,” I sighed, “Beckham got what he wanted,
but is that enough? Was the captaincy worth the expense of
your relationship?” She opened her mouth but I spoke
again. “I’ll answer it—it’s not worth it. But hey,” I laughed
sarcastically, “at least we’re even.”
Annie bristled, her nostrils flaring. “No, don’t do that.
Do not put us in the same boat, Nyx. Nate and Beckham are
two different people. We are two different people. Just
because my relationship didn’t work out does not mean you
should jeopardise your own,” she scolded, stepping closer
to me. “I don’t want you risking your happiness for me
because you already did that before. You have the chance
to be happy again and I have Beth now—”
“It’s selfish,” I interrupted, shifting uneasily. How could I
move forward knowing that I was the reason it all
happened? “I know you have Beth and I’m glad you do. But
your relationship wasn’t the only thing that suffered at my
hands. Our family did too. Remember when I got sued?”
Annie flinched. “Yeah, I was the reason for it all. This is my
punishment and I’m not going to be selfish again by
wanting more than I deserve.”
Something bizarre flickered behind her eyes but it was
gone before I could identify the sentiment. “Sometimes,
you have to be selfish, Nyxie. Sometimes you have to put
yourself first, for once. People make mistakes, people hurt
other people—it’s the way of the world. But we move on,
we learn and we grow. Don’t punish yourself, it won’t
change the past.” She squeezed my arm. “You’ve taken
enough punishment. Maybe it’s time for a reward.”
And then she left, hearing our dad call for her.
Her words played in my head. Annie was my best friend,
I knew her better than anyone else. And the words she’d
just left me with, she’d uttered them with knowledge. But
never once had Annie been selfish. It was unheard of in the
Taylor household. Almost as if the universe was listening to
me, Annie’s phone flashed from its place on the dresser. I
stared at the vibrating phone for a good few seconds. No, I
had no right to snoop through her things. From where I
was standing, I could see it wasn’t a saved contact, just a
phone number. I didn’t make a move. Instead, I monitored
the phone like it was a bomb that could go off at any
second.
 The vibrating stopped and I could hear our dad
conversing with Annie, not a care in the world. When it was
just the two of them, he seemed almost more content. None
of us had that same feeling with him, not even Indigo who
looked like him.
A message suddenly flickered onto the screen.
Anniecat, just a few more weeks. Georgia’s got it all
under control. I’m sorry I couldn’t do more for you girls, I
really am.
The screen went black, but I felt the vomit in my throat.
Anniecat. Only our mom had called her that. Our mom. She
was messaging Annie. Anger formed deep in my gut, anger
at the woman who had birthed us. I wondered if she’d
targeted Annie because she knew she’d get sympathy
there. Me? I wouldn’t pick up the fucking phone. Georgia
moving to town suddenly no longer felt like a coincidence,
her eagerness to help us.
The word selfish could only be associated with our mom.
Did Annie sympathise with her for being selfish and
leaving? It made sense but I didn’t know how Georgia could
be involved in it. My brain ached and I swore softly.
Another time. Annie and I could talk when our piece of shit
dad wasn’t home. Mentioning our mom around him would
only trigger the idiot.
And the things he could do whilst controlled by rage at
my mom—it could be more damaging than ever.
I picked up my suitcase, furnished with necessities for
the next day. We’d be leaving for the city of Santa Clarita
later. I was not looking forward to spending almost an hour
with those nincompoops in a small space. It was only the
first and second teams, but that was still way too many men
for me to deal with. I seized the handle of my suitcase and
hauled it into the hallway. The girls were still asleep when I
entered their room so I kissed their foreheads.
My dad stared at my suitcase when I hugged Annie
goodbye, trying to ignore the heavy feeling in my chest.
“And where are you going?” he asked.
“To do my job,” I easily riposted as Annie handed me the
truck keys. I’d drive it to the rink and then Nailea would
take her to pick it up later. We’d had a spare key made the
other day. My dad’s anger built and I gave Annie a look,
telling her she could explain my internship to him, but not
to mention the money. “I love you,” I told her and she
kissed my cheek. Smiling at my dad, I stated, “See you
when you need money again.”
I shut the door on whatever he was saying, stored my
suitcase in the passenger seat before hopping in. Turning
the keys, I pulled out of the driveway and made my way
onto the road. Hopefully, the drive would calm me down,
stop me from overthinking. I reminded myself to text
Nailea and thank her.
My phone rang and I dug into the pocket of my skirt,
seeing the name ‘Santa’ flash on my screen. “Santa’s come
to the perfect hoe. What can I do for you?”
“You’re insane,” Benson retorted and I could hear skates
on ice in the background. He was no doubt trying to get a
last session of practice in. “Please tell me you’re on your
way.”
I laughed. “Yes. I already told you I’m joining you on this
trip.” He sighed in relief and I laughed harder. His
relationship with the boys may have been getting better,
but I knew he wouldn’t survive a bus ride with them all on
his own. When I wouldn’t stop laughing, Benson hung up.
We all favoured home games, not only because there
wasn’t a need for a long trip, but because all our
supporters would be with us. Few would drive for an hour
to watch a game. The thought of running into Nate also
crossed my mind. I didn’t know what I’d do if I saw him.
Part of me would want to disregard his presence, but also
attack him. Contrary to what many believed, Nate had the
potential to be a good person.
He just chose not to.
 A huge bus was stationed outside of the rink and I pulled
up next to it. I delivered my suitcase to one guy that was
helping to load everything. A spider-shiver wriggled down
my spine when I stepped inside. The rink was always ice
cold, opposing my sunny outfits. Despite it being winter, it
was still fairly hot outside. The glacial atmosphere inside
the rink howled at my pleated skirt and tank top. At least I
wore a denim jacket over, but it was no help.
The second team was on the ice, Benson skating after
them and barking orders. It had been my suggestion to
work on them first this morning. The first team already got
so much attention. Although the second team was just
substitutes, it didn’t mean that we could neglect them. It
was guaranteed that they’d get ice-time, and they needed
to be ready.
Jasper was the first to detect me and he grinned. I
smiled in return. He was one of the first men that I hadn’t
despised immediately. The guy was hilarious as fuck and
had the ridiculous ability to make me laugh every single
time. He was sitting with Oliver, the two observing
practice. Grayson was on the ice because he rarely ever got
substituted and played every game. Sebastian was leaning
on the bar, eyes narrowed in thought as he watched his
substitute, Levi, skate. The latter hadn’t given me lip again
and I had a feeling that was due to Beckham.
The captain in question stood shirtless, wearing his
signature grey sweatpants. He held a towel to his face,
mopping sweat. Even though it was freezing, I could see
how moist his skin was and the same could be said for Jai.
They’d probably been in the rink gym. Jai looked on the
verge of having a stroke and he thumped onto the bench,
fanning himself. Beckham laughed at his teammate and the
sound nearly caused my knees to buckle. I mentally
criticised myself.
When Jai sat up to throw Beckham with his sweaty
towel, he noticed me and winked, flirty as ever. Beckham
turned around and his eyes met mine. So many unspoken
things passed between us and when his eyes darkened; I
knew he was thinking about the last time he’d kissed me.
His eyes dropped down to my exposed legs and I crossed
my arms.
Ever since he’d mentioned binary stars, I couldn’t stop
thinking about it. Or him. I felt that gravitational pull he
was talking about—I’d always felt it.
Before I dissolved into a fucking puddle, I left and went
straight for Benson’s office. I didn’t enter, though, just
stood there hyperventilating. Tired. I was tired, that was it.
Blaming my not-so sudden attraction to Beckham on my
exhaustion seemed like the best idea. I pitched against the
wall and dozed off for what felt like a minute when the
sound of footsteps reached my ears.
My eyes opened and I watched Beckham saunter around
the corner. A block formed in my throat as I watched him
fix the drawstring of his pants, his stance casual and
tattoos dancing with the movement of his arms. He was yet
to locate me and I suddenly wished I could walk through
walls so that I could hide.
Since when did I fucking hide? I was heavily attracted to
him. There was no hiding that. Imprudently, I thought it’d
pass. Beckham was an attractive man. I’d seen other
attractive men before. So what made Beckham so different?
I knew the answer to that.
He was my first. The first guy I’d ever let close. His
touch was the most gentle I’d ever experienced. The first
man I’d felt safe with. There was history; that was more
than enough.
Beckham ran a hand through his hair, glimpsing around
—and then his eyes found mine. Instantly, I looked away,
paying close attention to the wall opposite me. Beckham’s
chuckle carried across the space between us and I felt
myself quiver.
 “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were hiding,” he
stated, shoving his hands into his pockets. The corner of his
mouth tipped into his cheek, forming a smirk.
Clearing my throat, I responded, “I need something in
Benson’s office.” Like an idiot, I gesticulated to the office
door and he grinned. There was an awkward silence and I
knew he was doing it on purpose, trying to make me
uncomfortable. Well, it was working.
“You should get back to your team,” I pronounced
resolutely, eyeing the door and contemplating dashing
through it. Benson wouldn’t mind me hiding there, seeing
as he was on the ice.
He narrowed his eyes, mouth set in a straight line. “Do
you want me to go?”
“Yes.” A low grunt left his mouth and I proceeded. “I’m
sure practice sounds far more appealing than arguing with
me.”
And I was going to start an argument to get him away.
He knew I started arguments because I didn’t know what
I’d do if I let him get too close again. Something stupid,
most probably. Frustration coursed through my blood.
There was no telling what I’d do.
Instead of snapping at me as I presumed, he laughed, a
deep sound that made my chest ache. “And are you gonna
start an argument—”
“You know I will,” I cut him off.
Beckham eyed me for I moment and I felt exposed.
“There’s that defence mechanism again,” he articulated
over me when I attempted to argue. “I wonder what’ll
happen if I get past it.” In three strides, he forced himself
into my space, hands framing my hips. He pushed me
against the wall, nose skimming the side of my jaw. I
shuddered, hearing him chuckle to himself. “Wonder
what’ll happen if I don’t let you bait me with an argument,”
he hummed, pressing kisses to my neck and I couldn’t help
but sigh.
 “Beck—”
“You can’t deny that you’re attracted to me, Nyx.
Instead of fighting it, let’s see what happens,” he grumbled,
hands roaming my body. His thumb brushed my bottom lip.
“Open up for me, sweetheart.”
“Beck,” I hissed when he bit the skin of my neck before
running his tongue over it to ease the prickling. When it
stopped, he bit into that same spot, no doubt leaving a
clear mark. “We can’t do this. This is a bad fucking idea—”
He stilled. “Nyx—”
I tried to move away but was confined between him and
the wall. “Emphasis on bad idea.”
“Can you stop thinking about what happened last year,
for once,” Beckham all but growled, grip tightening around
me. “I’m not talking about the past. This is right now.”
Sagging in his hold, I closed my eyes. I dropped my head
against his chest, feeling my resolve disintegrate. “I
fucking hate you,” I mumbled, trying to mean every word.
Beckham pressed his body against mine and I felt the
bulge straining against his pants. Another tremor. “Just this
once.” I shook my head in response, sighing when his
fingers trailed up my leg.
He raised my leg, wrapping it around his waist and
thrust, pressing his bulge against my warmth and I choked
on a moan. I could no longer hold back, not when my body
and my mind were on conflicting sides. I needed them to
work in sync to focus. So I’d give in. “Just this once,
asshole.”
Beckham ground against me, making another feeble cry
leave my mouth. I’d never wanted somebody so desperately
before. “Just this once.” His free hand collared my throat.
“Mouth, baby.”
And then his tongue was inside my mouth, battling with
mine. The kiss was exactly how I remembered it. He nipped
at my lips, groaning when I tried to take control. I sucked
on his tongue, moaning. If anyone turned the corner they’d
see us. The risk of getting caught thrilled me. Picking up
my other leg, he bucked furiously against me. His skin was
warm underneath my touch, courtesy of his time in the gym
with Jai.
We were dry humping like two teenagers who’d just
discovered sex. “Shit, Beck,” I hissed when his fingers
clutched my ass tightly.
“I knew you’d melt again,” he grumbled against my lips
as I tugged on his hair. “Because you’ve been aching for
this. You’ve always been mine.” A humourless chuckle left
his swollen lips. “Isn’t that right, Nyx?” I nodded, too
focused on rubbing myself against him like a cat. “Use your
words, baby.”
“Yes,” I moaned when he palmed my breasts. I felt the
familiar tingle in my spine, signifying that I was close.
Beckham sensed it too, slipping a hand under my skirt and
into my panties. “Fuck.” He rubbed furiously at my clit and
I nearly sobbed. “Beck, I’m gonna—”
“Yo, Beck!” Jasper hollered as he rounded the corner,
eyes aimed at the paper in his hands and not yet spotting
the predicament I was in. Beckham halted his actions and I
dropped my head onto his shoulder, trembling because of
my release being interrupted. “Benson’s got a list of the
team at UCLA. He wants you to look through it and see if
you can remember any of their weaknesses on the ice—”
He glanced up, mouth going slack at what he was
witnessing.
Then an amused grin emerged on his lips.
Beckham withdrew his hand and I whined, making him
chuckle. “I hate you.” I directed my words at both of them.
“I really do.”
I also refused to lift my head because the cognisance of
what I’d just done hit me hard. The shame was threatening
to drown me. How desperate was I?
Answer: very desperate.
 Ungracefully, I unwrapped my legs from Beckham, my
body still quivering lightly. I felt drowsy, as if I was minutes
away from passing out.
Jasper was beaming like an idiot. “I fucking knew you
guys were back together.”
Irritated, I remarked, “We were never together in the
first place.”
Beckham’s hand was suddenly in my hair, turning me to
face him. His pulling at the strands was not helping my
situation. “I’d like to hear you say that to my face.” My eyes
narrowed and I could hear Jasper chuckling. “Jasper, you
think of Nyx as your sister, right?” he asked without looking
away from me.
“Is that a trick question?” Jasper questioned in
confusion. Beckham tilted his head slightly to glare at him
and Jasper laughed awkwardly, no doubt thinking of the
time we’d made out at the club. “Of course she’s my sister,
man. Like a totally hot stepsister.” He smirked at me. “I’m
bisexual for a reason, darling.”
Finding my moment to shine, I looked at Jasper, a
teasing smile on my face. “What are you doing, stepbro?”
Jasper looked ready to burst into laughter but his smile
slipped when he caught Beckham’s aggravated gaze. “No,
not at all. Completely biological. Nyx is like my biological
sister, no incest over here. No, sir—”
“Jasper?” Beckham called over my laughter.
He stopped his rambling. “Yes?”
“You might wanna fuck off,” Beckham responded
smoothly. “Unless you think it’s normal to watch me finger
your sister?” Jasper didn’t need to be told twice, already
scrambling away. I was about to follow, but Beckham
dragged me back. “We’re not finished here,” he murmured,
palming my nape.
“As if,” I scoffed, still feeling on edge. Beckham burst
into deep laughter, dabbing a light kiss on my lips. His free
hand trailed down my stomach before returning beneath
my skirt. I sucked in a breath when his fingers found my
clit again. He found my opening and slipped one finger
inside and I clutched his bare shoulders, not trusting my
legs to keep me upright. “Beck.”
He shushed me, lazily working his finger in and out
before adding another. I clenched my teeth, feeling my
release come alive again. “So tight, fuck. Almost forgot
what you felt like.” A loud moan left me and he consumed it
by kissing me again. “That’s it, baby.” He moved his fingers
faster and faster, pushing me to the edge. “Come all over
my fingers. That’s my girl.” My release slammed into me
and I cried out. He gripped my hair to keep my head up so
he could watch my orgasm take me.
My skin was tingling as Beckham kept his hand in my
panties, making me shiver with aftershocks. Trying to catch
my breath, I leaned my head against his chest, panting. I
couldn’t lift my head to meet his gaze because I felt that
familiar sensation inside of me. It was still there, even after
all this time.
Intimacy was difficult for me. The only man in my life did
whatever he could to hurt me. I wouldn’t let boys in high
school close enough to leave a peck on my cheek. Yet, I’d
kiss Beckham with my dying breath. Being with him gave
me hope, it was why I could be with others after we’d
separated, why I could move on. But it just didn’t feel the
same; I had to admit it to myself. I had to. It was why that
feeling was back, a knowing. This was what I’d been
missing.
I slowly fixed my skirt and underwear as Beckham
stepped back slightly. Still breathing awkwardly, I asked,
“We still hate each other, right?” He grinned at my attempt
at downplaying what happened. Feelings were a fucking
nuisance. “Because I’ll still fucking kick your ass.”
“I’m counting on it, Tink,” he answered with a huge grin
and I scowled.
 I shoved his chest and he chuckled. “This changes
nothing between us,” I affirmed steadily, but my
professional tone only appeared to entertain him because
he laughed harder. “I’m serious, asshole.” I tugged at my
skirt. “Let’s head back separately. I’ll go first. How do I
look?”
He snorted. “Like you got fucked.” I ventured to push
him again, but he only pulled me to his chest. “I may or
may not have left some marks.” He ran a finger over my
neck before fisting my hair after I’d just attempted to fix it.
Before I could say anything, he leaned down and pressed
his mouth to mine. “You know what I realised,” he mumbled
against my lips, “I’ve never seen you sporting anybody
else’s hickeys before.”
Yanking his hair, I replied, “Don’t flatter yourself.”
“How can I not?” he asked with a smirk, pulling back
slightly. It felt like he was able to read my mind. He was
right though, as much as I hated to admit it. No other guy
had ever left a hickey on me because I wouldn’t let them.
It made me feel like they were trying to place a mark of
ownership on me. So why wasn’t I ever opposed to the idea
of Beckham leaving one on me?
As he moved to brush the hair from my face, I noticed
the split knuckles of his right hand. It was a coincidence. It
had to be a coincidence. Still, I asked, “What happened to
your hand?”
Beckham stilled, gazing down at me with an unreadable
expression. “My answer depends on whether you’re gonna
get pissed or not.”
“Why would I get pissed?”
He smirked. “Because you don’t like being a damsel in
distress.” Flicking my nose, he added, “I promise I didn’t do
too much damage.”
“Understatement of the century,” I scoffed, recalling my
dad’s black eye. “Where’d you even find him and why—”
 “Grocery store,” he answered. “He and I had a little
chat. The fucker seemed to think I was joking when I said
he’d have hell to pay if he touched you again.”
I bit my lip, feeling an unexplainable wave of gratitude
wash over me. “You didn’t have to do that, but thank you.”
He didn’t say anything, his hand still holding my neck.
“What did you do, by the way? He looked horrible.”
Beckham laughed. “Hey, not all of it was me. He had
that split lip before I fucking touched him.” I crimsoned. He
froze, lips parting in confusion before realisation dawned.
He raised a singular brow in question and I nodded. “Good
girl.”
Wow.
I wiggled out of his hold and headed for the bathroom,
knowing that he was following me, the idiot. My panties
were ruined—even more so after his praise—and I needed
to change into a fresh pair on the bus, like right now, whilst
there was nobody there. Beckham watched me slip the
soiled panties off from underneath my skirt and, just as I
was about to fling them in the trash, he gripped my wrist.
Frowning at him, I watched as he took the flimsy black
material before tucking it into his pocket, maintaining eye
contact. Without another word, he spun on his heel.
“Where are you going?” I questioned.
He smirked, gesturing to his pants. “To take care of
this.” I gaped at him as he left. Once out of his presence, I
took in a deep gulp of air. My feet led me to the benches
where Jasper and Oliver sat.
“Hi,” I croaked out, my voice suddenly disappearing. I
swayed on my feet before sitting down between them.
Jasper was giggling like a little girl, and for a second I
thought he knew I was commando.
Oliver eyed me weirdly before laughing. “You look like
you just got fucked.” I blushed, recalling Beckham saying
the same thing. “Nice.” Jasper handed him some money
and I frowned. “We had a bet going on,” he revealed.
“About how long it would take Beck to make his move to
get you back.”
I glared at them both. “I said around the time of our
second match. Jasper over here said around our first
match.” He smirked at the scowling man on my other side.
“And he lost fifty dollars because of it.”
I punched Oliver’s shoulder and he pouted. Taking the
money from him, I handed it back to Jasper. “Technically,
he made his move in that toilet two days after your first
match. So you owe Jasper fifty dollars.”
Jasper whooped, pulling me to his chest. “I knew you
were my biological sister for a reason.” I smiled as he
kissed my head repetitively, Oliver frowning in
bewilderment. My face was still red when I left them to go
to the bus because I couldn’t stop thinking about what had
occurred between Beckham and me.
We’d said just this once.
But the pounding in my chest, the ache between my legs
said otherwise.

OceanofPDF.com
T here was one thing that always exasperated me about
those coming-of-age books and movies; the friendship
aspect of things. I’d always detested the way those
stories played out. You’d be standing in line at a grocery
store, wanting to buy a carton of milk or some shit, and
then the cashier would say something about how that batch
of milk was expired. And the only other person in the line
who had expired milk was this dorky person who laughed
at the misfortune you both walked into. The cashier would
then take you to fetch new milk and you and your new
friend realised this was the start of a glorious friendship.
That wasn’t how it worked in the real world.
But if it had happened to you, congrats bro, you were
one of the lucky ones. Many of us didn’t have that privilege.
The world wasn’t the same as it had been during the time
our parents were growing up. Kids had started gossiping
and bullying as young as four years old. It was horrifying to
sit through a class and constantly stress about whether
anyone was talking about you behind your back. Making
friends was tough. There wasn’t a love-at-first-sight thing
going on. I could honestly say none of my friends had
trusted one another when we’d first met, or liked one
another. It took time. Even if we’d had a meet-cute, we
were still wary about the next person.
Grayson was the perfect example.
We hadn’t started off great. I’d been a spoilt only child,
I’d admit that, and he’d come from a struggling family.
We’d met back in middle school and hadn’t necessarily
liked each other. Sometimes, you had to go through the
worst to discover who you could truly rely on. That one day
in middle school, when Grayson had appeared looking like
the living dead, his friends hadn’t bothered to question
him. They hadn’t questioned when he’d missed a few days
or when he’d spent lunch sobbing in the toilet.
Nobody had said a damn thing.
But I’d heard my dad talking about the Carter family one
night at dinner. I hadn’t understood what he was going
through, nobody had. All I’d known was that nobody
deserved to suffer through something like that on their
own. I was the worst at advice and I soon came to discover
that was his forte.
I’d been by Grayson’s side through the worst, watched
him claw at his bedroom walls, and struggle with drugs and
drinking through high school. I’d never told him what to do.
It was an unspoken rule between us. There was a
difference between telling someone what to do and letting
them see things from your viewpoint. I hadn’t told him to
stop drinking and smoking, but I’d made it clear what
would happen to him, and how his parents would feel. I’d
followed the rules of our friendship.
If only the fucker would do the same now.
“Are you telling me to forgive Nate?” I sought, not
attempting to conceal the outrage in my voice and
character. My dad had suggested the same thing before.
We’d arrived at the hotel just over an hour ago. The
drive was supposed to take about forty-five minutes but had
taken over an hour because Benson had gotten lost. He
didn’t trust technology enough to use a GPS and then he’d
taken a wrong turn.
It was dark outside and Benson had recommended we
all get some rest. Grayson was rooming with me and he
was currently sprawled across his bed, gazing at me with
those oh-so-perceptive eyes of his. The moment Benson had
declared that I’d be staying with Grayson, I knew I was
going to get a speech. I’d been predicting it since the
fashion show. He’d been giving me shrewd glances ever
since, informing me that he was preparing a lecture.
“That’s not what I’m saying.”
“Then what?” I pressed, sagging back against the
headboard.
I was already pestered because Nyx had snubbed me
through the entire bus ride as she sat with Jasper and
Oliver. She may have urged just this once, but I knew that
was far from the truth. If the ongoing glimpses she’d sent
me told me anything, it was that she wanted more. And it
terrified her. So she’d elected to pretend that I didn’t exist.
Grayson sat up. “Don’t you think you deserve peace?”
He tilted his head, looking genuinely concerned. As if I
wasn’t at peace with myself. “What will you benefit from
hating him for the rest of your life?” I looked away. “You
may try to hide it, but it’s always on your mind. I see it
when you’re training, when you’re talking to Nyx.”
I scoffed. “Thanks for that life lesson, Mother Teresa.”
“Look, all I’m saying is that you can’t expect to move
forward with Nyx when you’re still thinking about the
past,” he vocalised, wiping non-existent dust from his bed.
His words thumped something deep within me and my
chest throbbed, like concrete drying inside me. Everything
felt heavy.
Instantly, I sat straighter and scowled at him. “And who
says I wanna move forward with Nyx?”
As far as anyone knew, we hated each other and we
never gave the impression of otherwise. Well, except maybe
Jasper. He’d had the absolute fortune of seeing me knuckle-
deep inside her.
Grayson gave me a look, nose scrunching. “Do you think
I’m stupid?” I said nothing because he was the furthest
thing from stupid. “You don’t hate her.” He said the words
with weight, daring me to contend. “You never really did.”
Smoothing a hand over my face, I groaned. “I did. For a
brief period.”
And we both knew what brief period that was. It was
just around the time she’d turned her back on me and went
scrambling to help Nate. When that had happened, I’d
taken what little admiration I had for her and buried it,
buried it with my own hands and watered it with the hurt
I’d felt. And from that, hatred had grown.
“If a stranger was to steal your laptop and phone,” he
started and I frowned, “you’d be upset but get over it.
You’d say that life happens or maybe he needed money for
his family.” I was about to interrupt because I was confused
as fuck but he continued speaking. “However, if somebody
you loved hurt you, you’d automatically hate them.”
I rolled my eyes, not startled at his cogitative
standpoint. “So the lesson to be learnt is that I’m in love
with Nate? Nice. Always thought he had a great ass.”
“You hated Nyx because she hurt you,” Grayson
proceeded as if I didn’t say anything. “She hurt all of us by
choosing Nate. But, it’s been months, Beck. People change
—”
“If people change then why isn’t she willing to move
past Nate either?” I demanded gruffly, towing at my hair. It
was the one thing that’d been pounding on my mind. That
defence mechanism. I wanted to know why she needed me
to hate her and I was beginning to think I’d never get
through to her.
Grayson shrugged. “What happened between her and
Nate has nothing to do with you.” I chilled, looking at him
in confusion. He was speaking as if he knew something I
didn’t. “She had a choice, she chose the one she thought
would be the best for everyone. But everything she’s done
has led her here, back to us. Things worked out so let’s just
fucking move on.” I pinched the bridge of my nose, feeling
my head spin. “There’s also this thing called fucking
communication.”
“I know what communication is, Gray,” I riposted.
He raised his brows, fabricating shock and I wanted to
punch him in the face. “Oh, you do? Well, that’s a mighty
fucking surprise considering you haven’t done the one
thing that could fix all of your problems. Talk to her.”
“How about you talk to River,” I shot back and he
gasped dramatically, turning crimson. “Yes, I went there.”
Grayson was glowering at me. The door opened and
Sebastian strolled in, holding a cupcake. “Where the fuck
did you get that?”
It was only then that I discerned he was wearing swim
shorts. “Never mind that,” Sebastian answered, motioning
his head towards the door. “Benson just went to bed and
some of the guys are gonna head to the hot tub.”
The idea sounded great, but as the captain, I knew
Benson was right when he’d said we needed the sleep. He
and I may not have seen eye to eye all the time, but when it
came to the well-being of the team; we could agree on
many things.
“Guys, we have a match tomorrow,” I told them, tilting
back against my bed again.
Sebastian and Grayson shared a look before the former
stated, “Nyx is there.”
My body jerked but I didn’t get up. Two minutes of tense
silence must’ve passed before Grayson changed into swim
shorts and followed Sebastian out, but not before the latter
hurled his cupcake wrapper at me. I scowled, throwing it
into the tiny metal bin.
I knew Grayson’s advice was coming from a place of love
and concern. He knew that all my problems with Nyx
originated with Nate and if I didn’t let go of that animosity,
I couldn’t move forward, as much as I wanted to. But even
if I did trust Nyx, I feared that she’d keep that defence
mechanism up—so what would be the point? I stood up and
stepped to the balcony.
When I peeked down, I could see some of the guys in the
boiling tub. But Nyx wasn’t there. I could see Jasper and he
plucked Oliver from the hot water before launching him
into the probably freezing pool.
He hadn’t mentioned what he saw, and I wondered if
Nyx had told him not to. I didn’t necessarily want the guys
to know what went on between us because gossip like that
would spread like wildfire. They’d no doubt assume she’d
gotten her internship like that. I didn’t want to be the
reason for another rumour.
“I think Grayson and Annie are scheming,” Nyx spoke as
she entered my room, wearing a short satin robe. She
looked freshly showered and ready for bed. Holding her
phone up, she laughed. “I just got a call from Annie.
Something about communication?”
I snorted, closing the balcony doors and wandering back
inside. “I thought you were ignoring me.”
She cast her phone onto Grayson’s bed and sat down.
“Would you have preferred I jumped you in front of
everyone?” I quirked a brow, wondering what she was
trying to achieve. Glimpsing at me, she grinned. “What?
You expect me to sit in an enclosed space with you after
you finger fucked me against a wall?”
No filter, whatsoever. Gesturing to the room, I
responded, “This is an enclosed space.” My words sounded
rough even to my own ears. She had a plan, it was evident.
No wonder she’d avoided me; she’d been plotting.
Nyx smirked. “But we’re alone.” She cleared her throat,
going into her professional mode. I was surprised she
didn’t have a clipboard with notes. As she articulated, she
gradually unknotted the string holding her robe together.
“So, I was thinking,” I swallowed, “since this attraction
between us is making it difficult to ignore your existence.”
Her robe fell to the ground, exposing her black lace
underwear. Her bra had a tiny bow in the dip between the
two cups and a matching one was at the front of her
panties. My jeans grew tight as fuck as she sat down at the
edge of my bed. She definitely had a plan. And part of it
involved seducing me.
I tried to maintain eye contact and not have my gaze
roaming. “Nyx, what the fuck are you doing?”
She frowned. “Oh, I thought this was what you wanted. I
suppose I could always go find Jai. He seems like he knows
how to have a fun time.” The little minx knew exactly what
she was doing. I stepped closer until she had to tilt her
head to look up at me. “So, are we doing this or should I
find somebody else?”
I knew her better than that by now. In the past, I’d have
let her trick me without even knowing it. Like when she’d
used me at the party, danced with me. But the thing about
using the same trick all the time meant that I could now
see it coming from a mile away. She thought she could
control what happened between us.
Anyone who knew Nyx Taylor knew that she liked being
in control. She was used to it. If something scared her,
she’d try to tame it. She’d grown up being terrified of her
father and now she made it her mission to succeed at
everything she did, to not let men put her down. This
attraction between us alarmed her, made her melt in my
arms—and she didn’t like that all too much. This was her
attempt at taming it. But I wouldn’t let her be in control,
not at all. Because she had nothing to fear when she was
with me.
And I intended to show her that.
“Nice try,” I murmured, sketching featherlight touches
on her lower back. Gently moving her, the back of her
knees hit the bed and she had no choice but to sit down.
“Whatever happens between us will be on my terms.” She
tensed, scowling up at me. “Because you always have an
ulterior motive. Elbows. Now,” I whispered, seeing her lean
back and prop herself up on her elbows. Sliding my hands
beneath her, I clutched her ass and dragged her to the
edge of the bed.
Nyx shuddered. “I’m still in control here. This was my
idea.” She was grasping at air now, desperate for some
form of power.
“This wasn’t your idea. This was your plan,” I
emphasised, hooking my fingers through the thin straps of
lace covering her and dragging it down, tossing it behind
me. “A plan to try and dwindle this need you feel for me.
You were certain that if you did things your way, your body
would be content and want nothing more to do with me.”
Her legs were dangling from the edge of the bed and I
spread her thighs, seating myself between them. I’d started
what happened between us in the hallway and she clearly
believed that the only reason she wanted me again was that
her pride was wounded. She’d let me touch her, let me take
control, and now she wanted that control back.
“Since when did you become a professional at reading
me?” she questioned, contempt in her voice. I could feel my
jeans grow tight at the sight of her. If there was one way to
die, this would be my pick. Raising a hand, I parted her
folds, spotting the moisture accumulating there. “Are you
gonna stare at me the entire time or actually do
something?” Nyx queried, my eyes snapping to hers. She
lifted an obstinate brow. Smirking, I gently nipped the
inside of her thigh. “God, you’re an asshole,” she hissed.
“I’ve barely touched you and you’re already so wet,” I
hummed, tilting forward to lick through her slit, feeling her
quiver. “The things I could do to you.” She bit her lip to
contain a gasp and I smiled against her as I buried my face
in her pussy.
 Nyx was far from ashamed, finding no problem with
voicing what she wanted. And I did exactly as she asked,
groaning when she yanked harshly at my hair. She
squirmed and curved her back, moaning uncontrollably as I
ate her out. I lapped at her, sucking her clit into my mouth
and revelling in the full moans that left her mouth.
“Shit,” she cussed, throwing her head back. I shifted my
tongue inside her and groaned deep in my throat. She was
a whimpering mess, but I wasn’t about to hold back. She
thought she could brush this under the carpet. Well, she
couldn’t. “Beck.”
Her legs clamped around my head and I tapped her
thigh. “Wider.”
Nyx palmed the back of my head and spread her legs. I
nearly laughed. Nyx Taylor spreading her legs for me. She
let out a sound that nearly had me coming in my fucking
pants like a young boy watching porn for the first time.
“Why did I hate you again?” she pondered out loud and I
chuckled against her, savouring the way she trembled. I
could spend hours between her legs, listening to her moan,
watching her writhe.
There was something so stimulating about the sight of
her at the edge of the bed with her legs spread for me. My
hands made their way underneath her bra until I was
cupping her breasts, tweaking her nipples.
“Fuck,” she whined. “I guess that mouth is good for
things other than spewing absolute shit.”
I suckled her clit. “Even seconds away from an orgasm,
you’re still a bitch.” She grinned, pulling my hand so she
could suck a finger into her mouth. I swore. “Fucking
minx.”
“You should consider a career in prostitution,” she
blasted back, wiggling when I pinched her ass. “You’d
make some serious cash.”
“Fuck off,” I mumbled, biting her thigh.
 “How about you get me off?” she suggested, her words
fading into another moan.
I paid attention to what had her on the brink of
screaming and repeated those actions. Pulling away slightly
to gaze at her, I shoved a finger inside and curled it. Nyx’s
mouth dropped open and her eyes fell shut, her chest rising
and falling rapidly with each pant.
“So pretty,” I mused, adding another finger and plunging
into her. It was mesmerizing, watching her tighten around
the digits. “That’s it, baby. Can you take another one?” She
nodded, features twisting with pleasure. I added a third
finger, crooking them slightly, and she moaned my name. I
groaned as she tensed. “Good girl.”
“I’m gonna—”
“Come,” I grunted, doubling the pace of my fingers. Nyx
pressed a hand to her mouth and I hissed. “Don’t cover
your mouth. I want to hear you.” She practically collapsed
into the bed as she convulsed with her orgasm. I watched
her eyes glaze over. “That’s my baby. Come all over my
fingers.” I scissored my fingers and she let out a
strangulated sound.
Nyx gripped my hair. “Wait,” she wheezed and I paused,
moving back to look at her. “Come here.” Nonchalantly, she
dragged me towards her and then pushed me onto my
back. I was smirking, not at all astonished that Nyx would
have an idea of her own. “Stop looking so smug,” she
stammered. “Can’t have this being an unfair exchange.
That’s not how this works.”
She unzipped my jeans, freeing my dick and taking it
into her hands. A throaty moan escaped me. “Shit, baby.”
All air left my lungs as she squeezed me, her tongue
whispering over the head. “Suck.” I nearly lost it when she
finally sealed her lips over my dick, sucking me deep.
I hoisted her by the hips and had her pussy hovering
over my face. There was no way I was done with her.
Control needed to stay in my corner. Not wanting to be
outmatched, I clamped my lips around her clit and felt her
moan around me.
The vibration sent a shiver down my spine. I clutched
her ass cheeks and spread her wide, breathing cold air onto
her clit. I could scarcely concentrate with her sucking me
off as if her life depended on it. Three fingers slipped inside
her again and she whimpered, fisting my length in the
creamlike skin of her hand. I watched my fingers sink
inside her, feeling her clench around me.
“Fuck, you taste so good,” I muttered, biting her ass
cheek and hearing her moan. My release was near and I
could tell she was fast approaching another orgasm. But I
didn’t want it to end. She bobbed her head; I felt myself hit
the back of her throat. Fuck, she didn’t even gag. And
that’s when my resolve broke. I groaned deeply and she
sucked whatever I gave her into her mouth.
Simultaneously, Nyx quivered as she orgasmed above me.
Nyx sat up and twisted around, straddling me. My eyes
rolled to the back of my head as I felt her rub her warm
and wet pussy over my dick. She moaned, placing her
hands on my chest. “Beckham, please—”
I gripped her hips, stilling her. Neither of us were
thinking straight, too high on each other. And that was bad.
It was like all the tension between us fried our rational
thoughts. “We can’t—” My own hiss cut me off when she
dragged the head of my dick through her slit.
What was I saying again?
I kissed her throat when I dragged her down, sucking at
her skin. Finding her mouth, I plunged my tongue inside. I
roughly ground against her and she squeaked, gripping my
shoulders tighter.
Our kisses and touches were desperate, frantic. Nyx
leaned down, placing her forehead against mine. There was
a battle in her eyes, showcasing her internal conflict. Her
body wanted me, but her mind was still hesitant.
“Please,” she whispered, still grinding against me.
 I shook my head. “I don’t have a condom, baby.”
It took way too much energy to deny her, but it needed
to be done. She wasn’t thinking clearly and I feared she’d
come to regret the decision to have sex with me in the
morning. Messing around was one thing, sex was an
entirely different game. Her orgasm was fucking with her
head.
Not liking the rejected expression that appeared on her
face, I kissed her, showing her I felt the exact same way
about her. But we didn’t need to rush things. I kissed her
exactly the way I would’ve fucked her for the first time in
almost ten months. Slowly, lengthening each second. Nyx
moaned.
“Easy, sweetheart,” I murmured.
“Get inside me, dipshit,” she grumbled against my lips,
grinding against me again. I could hear how wet she was
and it made my decision all the more harder.
And my dick.
I chuckled. “Nyx, calm down.”
She groaned in exasperation and launched herself next
to me, landing with a huff. After a few seconds, she turned
to face me, not at all concerned about her half-naked state.
Despite the circumstances, I’d missed that adorable look of
pleading she used to give me.
It was back now, her eyelashes fluttering. “Don’t look at
me like that, you little minx.”
“Just listen, I’ve got a hypothesis,” she beseeched with
dazed eyes.
Dipping my head, I glanced at her. Her face was still
flushed and her eyes were glossy. There were marks
covering her neck and I wasn’t looking forward to her
spotting them in the mirror. “You’ve got a hypothesis?”
Of course she had a fucking hypothesis.
Nyx nodded, brushing hair out of her face. “If this is
supposedly the law of attraction at work,” cue air quotes,
“then shouldn’t we just—boom!” I watched her slam her
hands together and I blinked. She waited for my response,
but I didn’t know what was happening. “Me,” she raised
one hand, “and you,” she raised the other. “Boom!” She
slammed them together again.
“You want us to murder each other?” I asked. I knew
what she was implying, but it was beyond comical watching
her get frustrated with me. “High five?”
Her eyes narrowed like a snake. “You know what I mean,
fuckwad.”
I shook my head. “No, I don’t—”
“Liar!” she exclaimed and I burst into laughter, pushing
to my feet and buttoning my jeans again. “We should just
fuck. Then maybe this feeling will go away.” I wanted to tell
her that she didn’t sound like she wanted the feeling to go
away, but she’d yell at me. “I’ll come up with a better plan
soon enough.”
“You do that,” I returned, grabbing a towel and strolling
into the bathroom.
It was smaller than the one I had back home yet
managed to look more luxurious. White tiles covered the
walls and floor with gold ornaments. It was quiet in the
room and I wondered if Nyx left. As much as she’d argue
against it, seducing me wasn’t the only reason she was
there. She genuinely wanted me, it was clear by the way
she’d yielded so easily. That was a conversation for another
time.
Once the water was hot enough, I undressed and moved
into the shower. I wet my hair and examined the shelf of
products. Many of them looked like they smelled like fruit. I
was proven correct when I opened a tube and got a whiff of
strawberry. And then the shower door opened.
I turned as a fully naked Nyx stepped inside, shutting
the glass door behind her. She didn’t say anything, she
didn’t need to. In the blink of an eye, her legs were around
my waist as I pressed her against the wall, my mouth
attached to hers. I kissed her thoroughly, running my hands
all over her. If this feeling was going to go away the
moment we had each other, I was going to enjoy it as much
as I could.
It felt right, having her in my arms again.
My hands tightened in her wet hair as she suckled the
skin of my neck, leaving marks of her own. I could barely
even shower with her latching onto me, but I didn’t care.
Not in the slightest. Once I was done showering, I wrapped
Nyx up in a fluffy towel, carrying her back to the bed. She
used a spare one to dry her hair as I dried myself, slipping
into a pair of sweatpants.
One of the things I’d noticed about Nyx was that when
she was exhausted, it was more challenging to camouflage
her emotions. So as I ruffled my damp hair, I could see the
look of affliction on her features. She was back in her
underwear, the satin robe loosely belted around her waist
and giving me an eyeful of her tits.
“Why do you always have that look on your face after
spending time with me?” I teased, disposing of our towels
into the hamper.
Nyx looked up. My words only hit her a second later and
a delicate laugh left her. “No, I, uh,” she wavered, flushing
slightly. It was difficult to imagine this was the same girl
who’d initiated the sixty-nine with me. “I was thinking
about what you said the other day, about me trusting you.
Annie’s been encouraging me to do so, but I feel like she’s
—”
“Hiding something?” I finished for her, taking a seat at
the edge of the bed. Nyx nodded, looking ashamed of her
thoughts. “Yeah, I kinda got the same from Grayson.
Initially, I thought he was crushing on her.” She frowned in
inquiry. “But as much of a gentleman as he is, Grayson’s
not looking for a relationship, trust me. And he’d never
disrespect Beth like that. Friends? He can never have
enough of those.”
 The blonde pouted. “Annie doesn’t have any friends
besides Beth. Well, Beth’s a little more than a friend now, I
guess.” She appeared to be thinking something through.
“But why Grayson and not Nailea?” she asked rhetorically.
“Nailea’s been around her more than him.”
“Grayson,” I began with a sigh, “he’s a peculiar one, to
be honest. You know he’s the most feeling out of all of us,
the mom-friend if you will.” Nyx nodded. “Let’s just say he
has this weird ability to sense when something’s…” I trailed
off, floundering to phrase my words without hurting Nyx.
She sat straighter, looking distressed. “When
something’s what?”
Her emotions were clear as day, something that I never
even knew I’d missed. The very fact that she was talking
about her feelings, about her problems with me gave me
hope.
“When something’s wrong,” I concluded, pinching the
bridge of my nose. “Or better yet, when somebody’s
hurting.”
Grayson was like the fucking Dumbledore of the hockey
team. Sometimes it felt like he could read everyone’s
minds. It was him who’d always encouraged me to speak to
Nyx, to talk to Nate and settle things.
I saw the combination of emotions in Nyx’s eyes. “If
Annie’s hurting, why wouldn’t she tell me?” I didn’t have
the answer to that and neither did she. Nyx wanted the
truth, but the truth seemed to excavate a ridge of
insecurities. “Maybe I should ask Georgia. Something
weird is going on there, no matter how hard I try to ignore
it,” she mumbled more to herself than me.
“Georgia?” I pulled a face.
Nyx was rambling now, anxiously tugging at her damp
hair. “Georgia Lowe. She’s a parent at Poppy’s school, and
helps out when we need it sometimes. I think Annie’s been
talking to her about our—”
 She was going so fucking fast but all I needed to capture
was the beginning. “Did you say Georgia Lowe?”
The name sounded familiar and I wracked my brain for
it. My mom’s friend? She could be part of her cooking club,
or maybe something else. My mom was part of too many
fucking clubs.
“Yes,” Nyx responded, freezing at the expression I wore.
“How do you know her?”
“I don’t,” I answered, eventually acknowledging where I
knew her from. I’d seen her around the station before. “But
my dad does. Georgia’s a social worker.”

OceanofPDF.com
I t felt weird, thinking that you knew everything, only to
find out you knew nothing. The moment the words had
left Beckham’s mouth, I’d been able to feel a string
being tugged inside me, a string stitched into every
encounter I’d had with Georgia. Our first meeting, her
offering to help, offering to host sleepovers. It had never
occurred to me I should piece it together. Why should I
have to? Georgia was a friend.
But pulling it all together was inevitable and as I sat
there, allowing myself to really think about Georgia Lowe, I
could see the fissures in the portrait that I’d put together.
Where had she come from? And why had she arrived at the
perfect time? If she was a social worker, why weren’t my
baby sisters taken away yet? Why wasn’t my dad arrested?
Was she even helping us?
It was an hour later and I sat in my designated room,
legs crossed and phone clenched in my hand. My thumb
hovered over Annie’s contact. She’d no doubt be awake,
probably baking. Whilst I was overthinking everything, my
finger slipped and I watched the phone ring. Immediately, I
ended it after one ring, throwing the device a foot away
from me.
A second later, my phone was ringing and I suppressed a
groan. “Hey, Annie,” I greeted, putting the phone on
speaker and letting it lay in front of me.
“Hi,” she returned with a yawn and I could hear her
moving around the kitchen. “Everything okay? Or did you
butt-dial me again?” I couldn’t find it in myself to laugh
along with her, too many questions swirling around.
I forced a laugh. “Yeah, um, I just got into bed now.
Figured I’d give you and the girls a call.”
She was silent for a moment. “Um, it’s just me tonight,
actually.” I frowned, automatically assuming the worst.
“The girls are at Georgia’s for the weekend. She picked
them up earlier.”
Okay, that did not make me feel better, especially after
discovering what Georgia was. There was no way Annie
couldn’t have known. So the question was: why hadn’t she
told me?
“Annie,” I murmured, feeling my eyes sting with unshed
tears. She hummed. “We tell each other everything, right?”
Another tense beat. “Of course. Is everything okay?”
With no idea how to phrase my question, I just threw it
out there. “Did you know that Georgia’s a social worker?”
The insecure part of me expected a tense silence, one
that allowed my sister formulate a lie. But she didn’t miss a
beat, her voice as gentle as ever.
“Not at first, no. But everything changed a few weeks
ago, after that first call from Mom.”
The phone call that I’d begged her not to tell me about.
Young me had been upset over the fact that her mom had
left and wanted nothing to do with her. “And I begged you
to never mention anything regarding her around me.” I was
beginning to regret that decision now.
Annie hummed. “She explained that Georgia was there
to help us, seeing as she couldn’t be. I wanted to tell you, I
really did—”
“But I wouldn’t listen,” I finished, feeling horrible. “I let
you deal with all this crap on your own.” My eyes burned
and I hugged a pillow to my chest.
“Nyxie,” Annie began, her easy tone making me want to
bawl. “You were hurt. If you wanted nothing to do with
Mom, I couldn’t fault you for that. What did I tell you the
other day? I’ll tell you everything you want to know when
you’re ready and not a moment before—”
I sniffled. “Annie—”
“I knew this day would come, knew you’d eventually
overcome the hurt and want to know what happened,” she
continued, leaving no room for me to be angry at myself.
“I’m your big sister. I shoulder what you can’t until you
have the strength. That’s how we work, remember?” I
nodded, although she couldn’t see me. “I want you to know
that you can always come to me. If you have questions, ask
them.”
My throat ached as I thought of everything Annie had to
shoulder on her own, all because I was a petty bitch. “For
now, I just wanna know what Georgia’s purpose is.”
“To be honest, I don’t even fully understand. I
recommend talking to Georgia, but what I do know is that
Dad knows she’s a social worker.” My jaw slackened. “It’s
why I didn’t suspect him of having another family,” her
voice broke at the reminder, “because he usually
disappears to compulsory counselling that Georgia makes
him go to. When he lashes out, the girls are technically in
Georgia’s care until his therapy sessions ends, but to not
frighten them, she leaves them with us whilst Dad is gone
and passes nights with her off as sleepovers. Ever since
she’s been in our lives, he’s been making an effort to not
hurt Poppy and Indigo. They’re minors, you see, so he
doesn’t hurt them as much as he hurts…”
She didn’t want to say it. So I did. “Me. As much as he
hurts me.”
 “We willingly stay with him,” she said, that sentence
carrying so much weight. “Georgia’s there to protect Poppy
and Indigo. The counselling is compulsory, only when Dad
refuses to attend and constantly or purposefully hurts the
girls can Georgia take them away. But the thing is, the
sessions have been working, and that scares me because—”
“Because you don’t want them to stay in his care,” I
mumbled, feeling my head spin. “Annie, I can’t believe
you’ve been struggling with these worries all on your own.”
She forced a laugh. “Somebody has to be the mom,
huh?”
“Thank you for telling me,” my words were soft.
There was rustling on her side before she said, “thank
you for asking.”
That one sentence made my chest ache. This was only
some of the weight I was taking from her. I didn’t want to
imagine what else she had to do as the mother figure in our
household.
“Annie?” I said suddenly and she hummed again. “I don’t
want you to feel like you can’t tell me things.” Or feel like
she had to listen to my petty requests, especially if it meant
suffering for her.
“I know I can tell you things, Nyxie,” she responded, her
voice dripping with sincerity. “Which is why I’m telling you
that I’m thinking of asking Beth to be my girlfriend.”
Now that took my breath away. “You’re ready to make it
official with Macbeth?”
And then the cackles came, Annie hastily speaking over
me about how much of a great person she was and how she
felt it was the right time with her going to an event that
Beth’s maternal family was hosting and all. But I was too
far gone, too elated at the fact that Annie was finally taking
what she wanted from life. Beth was good for her, that
much I could gather.
She spent the next few minutes expressing her outrage
for somebody named Vivian, Beth’s mother. I listened to her
speak, promising myself that I wanted her to always sound
this happy. If that meant putting on my big girl panties
when it came to my mom, then so be it.
It felt weird, thinking that you knew everything, only to
find out you knew nothing. But perhaps not knowing
everything was for the better. Important facts would reveal
themselves when the time came, and because of my
experience with the law of attraction, I believed the
universe knew exactly what it was doing.

The match had been going on for almost two hours already.
I’d forgotten how invigorating it could be. I felt each scrape
of skates against the ice in my teeth and I felt my heart
soar each time somebody from our team scored. The guys
were putting in their all. The Bruins clearly upped their
game since the last time we’d gone against them, but so did
our Trojans. I’d been so close to launching myself onto the
ice whenever the other team scored. But I knew Benson
had trained them to the best of his ability.
He may have arrived empty-handed, but he’d been
willing to learn. I knew that the team had the best coach in
him, although I would never admit that to him. He’d never
let me hear the end of it.
Just five minutes ago, Sebastian had to be taken off the
ice and replaced with Levi. From the moment we’d driven
to the rink, I could tell there was something wrong with
him. He wasn’t normally chatty, but this time was weird. It
looked like each time he’d opened his mouth; he’d turned
an alarming shade of green. Like the dedicated player and
alternative captain that he was; Sebastian had still played
the game. But although people regularly called him an
angel, the guy was still human and had nearly thrown up
his guts on the ice when a Bruin had slammed into him.
 After I’d gone with him to the toilet and he’d coughed up
the rest of his breakfast, I’d found out that he’d eaten a
cupcake with buttercream frosting last night. Since he
wasn’t lactose intolerant, the only plausible answer was
food poisoning.
“Wasn’t the cupcake sour?” I inquired as I sagged
against the wall, watching Sebastian take huge gulps of his
bottle of water.
He was still wearing his uniform, but the skates and
helmet were removed. His face was pale and I could only
imagine how his abdomen was hurting because of the
heaving. But then again, he had abs of steel.
He gurgled the water, grimacing as he swallowed. “I
thought it was supposed to taste like that.”
Now I understood what Grayson meant when he said
Sebastian ate everything. I’d seen it with my own eyes
before. He would always have some form of food in his
hands.
“Well, now you’ve probably got food poisoning,” I
appended, hearing the audience collapse into cheers. A
poignant look passed over Sebastian’s features. He
wouldn’t be able to get back onto the ice, not when he was
sick. Well, that was a lesson learnt. “This is why you
shouldn’t eat everything you see.”
His glass-like eyes snapped to me and the corner of his
lips quirked. “Somebody should tell Beck that.” I tensed.
“Didn’t he like eat you out last night?”
Oh. My. God. I knew people gossiped all the time, but I
didn’t think Beckham would tell his friends about what had
happened between us.
“Do you not have anything better to do with your life?” I
seethed through clenched teeth. My body felt feverish all
over and not in a good way.
Sebastian must’ve seen the murderous look in my eyes
because he raised both hands in surrender. “Chill, dude.” I
scowled at him. “He didn’t tell us,” he chuckled, “we kinda
just knew.” That wasn’t helping things. “Besides, we need
you so it’s not like I’ll run to Benson with this information.”
I didn’t respond. “As long as you don’t backstab us again.”
And that sparked a fire underneath my ass. I stood
straighter, studying him before stopping at his eyes. “Was
that your attempt at a threat?” Sebastian shrugged. “Listen
to me, asshole, I don’t take threats lightly. Try it again and
I’ll make your life hell.”
I knew I had too much anger because of one diminutive
threat, but it was so much more than that. All the team saw
was me supposedly turning my back on them, but they had
no idea what I had gone through because of it. They
weren’t the only ones that suffered.
And I was getting a little sick of the judgement.
“Beck might be bewitched by your pussy but I’m not as
trusting as him,” he informed me, looking all too
presumptuous for somebody who’d had his head buried in a
toilet a few minutes ago. There was a hint of teasing in his
tone, veiled with annoyance. “He made the mistake of
trusting you once before. I don’t know what the fuck your
plan is because you’ve been helping us so far—”
“Speak to her like that again and you’ll leave this rink
missing an appendage.”
Both Sebastian and I turned to the end of the hallway.
And there stood Nate Wyatt, ornamented in his new school
gear. He looked exactly as I remembered, from the rumpled
brown hair to the sparkling green eyes. Those same eyes
had once been filled with love for my sister, even for me.
He wasn’t looking at me, but rather at a scowling
Sebastian. The latter’s mouth dropped open, but no words
left him. Even I was at a loss for words. I understood there
was a possibility of running into Nate, but I didn’t think it
would actually happen. The blonde must’ve been thinking
about many things. This was the captain that had put his
team through hell. This was also the guy they supposedly
believed I’d helped.
 Sebastian glanced from me to Nate and I felt myself roll
my eyes. “Oh, I see,” the blonde grumbled, looking like he
was about to barf again. He nodded to himself, glancing at
me one last time before heading back to the match.
“That was a dumb move,” I articulated without looking
at Nate. Sebastian already thought I had ulterior motives,
and Nate standing up for me only fanned the flames. It
even disturbed me. We didn’t part on the best terms. The
last time I’d seen him was probably when I’d chewed his
ass out for breaking my sister’s heart. “If he wasn’t
sceptical before, he definitely is now.”
Nate strolled past me with the confidence of a God. He
was always like that. It was one of the many things we had
in common. “Walk with me.” I bristled at the command but
followed him anyway. If there was a time to get things off
my chest, tell him things I hadn’t had a chance to, now was
the time. He paused at the foyer doors and then whirled
around, soundlessly examining me. “Are you okay?”
“Why’d you defend me?” I countered his inquiry with
one of my own. He didn’t react, but his eyes flared. So
many unsaid things.
“Nyxie,” he started in a tasteless tone and my shoulders
tensed at the nickname. I’d once allowed him to use it
because he was family. “You just never learn, do you? You’d
let an arrogant bastard like Sebastian Hayes treat you like
shit even after all—” A look of realisation surfaced on his
features when I didn’t oppose, and then he chuckled. “You
didn’t tell them.”
I tugged at the Trojan jersey I was wearing. Looking at
Nate was like looking my past in the eyes. “What I do is
none of your business.”
He nodded, pouting. “True. But what’s a villain without
a redemption arc?” There was a smile on his face now, one
that made me see exactly why Annie had fallen for him.
She’d first spotted him at the grocery store where she’d
previously worked. Nate was always aware of his
surroundings and he had easily put two and two together;
Annie was my sister. His advances had never been bad.
Nate had loved her.
As much as I should’ve fought against it, we were both
villains. It wasn’t a nice thought, but it was the truth. We
both had done bad things to help the people we loved.
Nate’s dad didn’t reciprocate those feelings and never
would. Beckham didn’t even know the full story.
“That’s funny,” I grumbled, eyes narrowing. “I’m not the
only one hiding my redemption arc, am I?” It was his turn
to tense up. Because I’d grasped that he was a good
person; he just buried it very well. “I’m surprised you
haven’t joined the hockey team.”
It was my crack at hurting him, hurting him the way
he’d hurt my sister. All I could see was the heartbreak in
Annie’s pretty brown eyes when he’d left her without a
word. My baby sisters had loved him and he’d left as if he
hadn’t been there to begin with.
All because of a man who didn’t deserve his respect, his
admiration.
Hockey had been his life and it was a surprise to many
to see that he hadn’t tried out for the UCLA team. Like
Beckham, his dad had played hockey when he was younger.
The difference between Nate and Beckham, however, was
that Beckham’s dad hadn’t forced him to do anything he
hadn’t wanted to.
But he fired back with a low blow of his own, one that
made me recoil. “I’m surprised you haven’t told Hunt that
everything you did was for him.” I had to remind myself
that it was illegal to murder somebody. The one person,
other than Annie, who knew the truth. Loud cheers broke
the stiff air and he quirked a brow. “Who do you think
won?”
Without missing a second, I answered, “My boys.”
Nate grinned, stepping closer. He placed his hands on
my shoulders and leaned down to my height. “All of this
hurt for a guy who told everyone I was paying you to sleep
with me.” I rolled my eyes. “You didn’t know?”
“Are you saying Beckham started that rumour?”
I’d already surmised it was him so whatever Nate was
seeking to accomplish with that information wouldn’t work.
I knew Beckham was an asshole so I automatically thought
the worst of him. It helped in situations like this.
Now Nate couldn’t take me by surprise.
He nodded. “Well, that’s what I’ve heard—”
And because I knew him so well, I apprehended he was
nervous when he began scratching the back of his neck. It
was a habit Annie had found utterly enchanting. I thought
it was stupid. It allowed people to have the upper hand on
him.
“And what was your source, www.trustmebro?” I
riposted, feeling the opening of a headache developing.
“And don’t pretend you care, you little bitch. Not after what
you did to us.”
Nate gawked at me. “After what I did? Everything that
happened to your family was your fault and you fucking
know it. All you’ve been doing is trying to shift the blame to
me, but it was you who nearly ruined your family’s life for
some asshole who walked away without a backward
glance.”
It was always the same story; us transferring the blame
to each other like a game of catch. Annoyed, I responded
with, “You could’ve said something. Went against your dad
but you let him do what he did, let him ruin our lives. Suing
me for defamation? Really Nate? Was our situation not bad
enough and then you let your dad take more money from
us?”
He shook his head. “You did that yourself. All of that
effort and Hunt still doesn’t trust you, right? So what was
the point? You caused the rift between me and Annie—”
“That was all you, Nate,” I cut him off. “If only you stood
up against your fucking dad. My dad may beat me, but I
never cower. If only I could say the same about you.”
This was the Nate nobody knew, the one that was always
stowed in the dark. This was the Nate who was exactly like
me; an abused child, deep inside. I channelled my anger
and hurt differently. I put it towards succeeding. Nate, on
the other hand, still strived for favour from his dad. And as
long as that proceeded, he’d have no real friends. I’d
discerned right off the bat that his dad’s mission was to
isolate his son because my dad had tried that once, too.
Only, I had siblings.
Nate was alone.
His eyes gravitated to his feet, his throat bobbing.
“We’re not the same person.”
Swallowing, I spoke, “I did you a favour because I loved
you. Annie loved you and I’d do anything for her, even risk
my own fucking happiness. Do you think she enjoyed
watching your dad constantly criticise you? Force you to
play a sport you hated? Fucking beat you each time you
opened your mouth against him?”
Nate boosted his emerald gaze to mine. “I didn’t deserve
her, Nyxie. I didn’t deserve any of you, to be honest.”
“But Annie loved you,” I flung back, watching his eyes
moisten slightly as he looked away. “You know, Beck and I
may not have worked out, but I thought for sure you and
Annie would’ve. Then you left her—”
He groaned. “My dad—”
“Fuck your dad, Nate.” I interposed. “I risked my own
fucking relationship so that you and my sister could be
happy and how do you repay me? You break her fucking
heart.” My heart was banging wildly against my ribcage.
“You’ve always despised hockey and as long as you were
around your dad, you’d never escape him. Now, you’re out
of his sight. Ask yourself who put that distance between
you and your abusive dad,” I finished, wiping at my burning
eyes.
 “My dad couldn’t stand the embarrassment after I lost
the captaincy,” he stated in a coarse tone, shoving his
hands into the pockets of his jeans. “The only option was to
transfer. The UCLA coach also had a few words with Coach
Ford.” He shrugged. “I’m not allowed to join the team after
how I treated the Trojans.”
He didn’t look too sad about not being able to play. Not
at all. I’d intended to get Nate away from his dad and
hoped that he and Annie would try to maintain their
relationship. It hadn’t been in my plans to ruin their
relationship. That had all been Nate’s dad.
“All you had to do was let Annie love you, let her care for
you,” I said with a sardonic laugh, slowly shaking my head.
“Nate, I know what it’s like to feel like nothing, to be told
you’re nothing by the very person that had a hand in
creating you. I knew that he was going to shit on you for
losing the captaincy, but what’re a few minutes of a
drunken asshole berating you when you know that you’ll
never have to go through that again, that Annie, the girl
you loved, was going to help soothe those final wounds?”
He stared at me, remorse evident in his leafy eyes. “I let
him get to me.”
When I’d thought about running into Nate, I wanted to
hate him. I wanted to hurt him, yell at him. Even if I’d had a
hand in what had happened with my family, so had he. He
could’ve prevented it, served as a blockage because he’d
had the power to do so. But all I saw was that frightened
boy, again.
All I could see was me.
“Yeah, I figured.”
He sighed. “I should’ve known it was a bad idea when I
hired you to plan my events for the captaincy.” A rough
laugh escaped his lips. “I mean, you were always Hunt’s
girl, even if you didn’t acknowledge it.” He smiled slightly
when I flushed. “Having you as his supposed enemy only
fuelled his desire to win. Let’s not add the fact that you—”
 “Let’s not revisit what I did exactly,” I stated with an
embarrassed groan. When it came to people I cared about,
I could be vicious. My situation with Nate was a prime
example. “If it helps, part of me does feel bad about the
position I put you in. But it all brought you here, with a few
costs.”
On both sides; because I had some costs too.
Nate nodded, his eyes becoming dazed. “Annie being
one of the costs.” I looked away at the pain in his voice.
“Does she hate you for it?” Before I could respond, he
chuckled. “That’s absurd. Annie can’t hate anyone, not
even if she tried.”
“She doesn’t hate me,” I confessed. “Because she knows
that my goal wasn’t to break you two up. But she’s still
upset that you left so easily after what your dad did. If
you’d just sat down and spoken to her, she would’ve
listened.”
He cleared his throat. “Can I be honest?” I nodded. “I
felt like a coward, running away from my dad. Annie
deserves better than a pushover, one that couldn’t even
stop his dad from trying to ruin his girlfriend’s life. It’s one
of my biggest regrets.”
“Nate—”
“You sabotaged my chances of staying captain,” he
stated and I wrinkled my nose at the reminder. “But you did
it for Hunt because he deserved that title. You did it for me
because you wanted me away from my dad. And you did it
for Annie so she could be with me without my dad
breathing down our necks.” I shifted uncomfortably with
my past actions being revisited. “I was jealous of your
strength, especially after discovering your true intentions.
And I couldn’t even stop my dad. My apology is worth dirt
but I’d like to offer it to you anyway.”
I didn’t know how to respond. He moved closer, hand
reaching out to me. I stared at it for a while, stared at that
soft look in his eyes. It was the same look you’d see on a
toddler after they were yelled at for making a mess. It was
a look of defeat. It was a look of utmost regret. So I let him
pull me into his arms.
If not for me, then for him.
Because like I’d told Beckham before—Nate had nobody
in his corner, nobody to help him out of the dark room he’d
locked himself in.
It wasn’t my place to forgive him for what he’d put the
guys through. That was between them. But it was my place
to try to forgive somebody who had once been my brother.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered into my hair, squeezing me. I
could hear the emotion wrapped around each word.
“I’m sorry too,” I mumbled, burrowing my face into his
chest. His arms were firm around me, keeping me in the
familiar hold. “And I know you’re only prolonging this hug
because Beck’s watching.” Nate erupted into laughter,
stepping back but keeping his arm around me. “I fucking
know you.”
Nate shrugged, eyes crinkling at the sides. “What can I
say? Old habits die hard,” he said, referencing the times he
had made Beckham jealous.
“Did you come to scold me?” I demanded without
turning around, knowing that Beckham was lurking in the
shadows. He wasn’t as slick as he thought. The sound of his
thick uniform was enough to alert me to his presence.
“Come to question whether I’m working with Nate?”
Beckham stepped closer. His stormy eyes were trained
on Nate, but there was no animosity. “Wyatt.”
“Hunt,” he replied with a nod before turning to face me.
“Thanks for the talk. I’ll see you when I see you, Nyxie.”
Before he could walk away, he stopped, glancing at me one
last time. “I’m attending therapy, by the way.”
The smile I sent him was genuine. Some words went
unspoken. He didn’t want to be like his dad. A small nod
was sent in Beckham’s direction. It wasn’t an apology. In all
honesty, I didn’t think Nate was capable of apologising to
the boys yet. That would be like apologising to somebody
for stabbing them whilst still holding the knife. Nate
needed to get rid of the knife, get rid of the negative
thoughts and anger his dad had taught him was normal.
The therapy was only the beginning, and it was conveyed in
that nod he’d sent Beckham.
It was a promise that he would return to pay his debts.
He didn’t say anything else, just disappeared through the
doorway and into the parking lot. There was a look of
understanding as Beckham watched Nate drive away. He
must’ve heard a good portion of the conversation for him to
look at him with anything but contempt.
This was the same guy who had put his team under
intense emotional strain. His arm coiled around my waist,
pulling me against him. I could see the questions swirling
around in his eyes, but he didn’t know where to start.
“He’s right,” he declared. “Having you as my enemy
made me want the captaincy even more.”
I tried my best not to blush because if he’d heard that
far into the conversation, he’d surely heard Nate refer to
me as his girl. That I’d even sabotaged Nate.
“Good,” I hummed, attempting a smile.
Beckham stared down at me and then he grinned. “We
won.” There was no doubt about it. I could still hear the
cheers going.
“I know,” I murmured. Placing my hands on his chest, I
mumbled, “I know you won.”
His voice was a low murmur as he said, “And I
apparently have you to thank for that.” Adoration filled his
eyes and I smiled up at him, some tension leaving my body.
“You really sabotaged him?”
I smirked. “Say it.”
Suddenly my feet were off the ground, my legs wrapped
around his waist as he cupped my nape, making sure that I
maintained eye contact. “You little minx.” What used to be
an insult now held so much meaning. “You’re not gonna
explain further, are you?”
Laughing, I muttered, “I’ve got to hold something over
your head, right?” The corner of his mouth lifted. “Baby
steps, please.” My eyes drifted back to where Nate once
stood. “I’ve got a lot to think about.”

OceanofPDF.com
G uilt; it had been my best friend for the past few days.
I felt like I was trapped inside a complex maze, forced
to accept the reality of the situation. There was no
way to escape my guilt unless I confronted it. But I was
terrified of what I’d find at the heart of that maze. It was
why I’d been all over the place since our last game against
the Bruins, although it was a win. My mind kept deviating
back to that brief moment between Nate and Nyx.
When Sebastian had first told me that the two were
together, a spark of rage had blazed inside me. The
vulnerable side that I fought to hide had jumped into gear
and I’d immediately thought of the worst likely scenario. I’d
thought that although I was making progress with Nyx,
Nate could easily take her away again. But then I’d
apprehended the idea was preposterous. Nate’s hands had
been on her shoulders, but she hadn’t been hostile. She’d
looked hurt. Obviously, the green monster inside of me had
strived to get to the surface, but I’d contained it.
My unnecessary anger would only cause problems when
the obvious solution was to talk things through.
Communication, Grayson always reminded me.
 I hadn’t been able to hear much of their conversation
because I’d stood quite a distance away, and the audience
had still been celebrating our win. At first, I hadn’t moved
closer because I’d apprehended it was a good thing. It was
better to ask her about it than to eavesdrop. Countless
movies proved that eavesdropping was bad because you’d
end up getting the story completely wrong.
It was like picking up a new book and trying to figure
out the entire plot merely by going off from what you read
of the blurb. My plan had been fine until Nyx’s expression
had contorted into one of pain. That’s when I’d stepped
closer and grasped something monumental.
If only you stood up against your fucking dad. My dad
may beat me, but I never cower. If only I could say the
same about you.
After that, I hadn’t known how to react. We all lived such
privileged lives that we never cared to peek outside of our
bubble, afraid that it would pop. Never would I have
suspected that Nate Wyatt was a victim of abuse. His
expression had said it all when Nyx had confronted him. I
thought back to the past two years he and I were on the
same campus.
There’d never been any bruises and he’d never reached
out to anyone. But then again, neither had Nyx. I felt stupid
for not discerning these things, too caught up in my own
shit. Nate had still hurt my team, but a bully only became
one because they were bullied themselves. It didn’t justify
his actions against us, although it made me question
everything.
That’s where the guilt came in.
The obvious answer was that Nyx had commiserated
with Nate because they were comparable and had corrupt
home lives. And I’d spent all my time hating the two of
them. Well, I had a valid reason to despise Nate because of
how he’d treated us like his puppets. But all this time, I’d
believed Nyx had turned her back on me when she’d only
been trying to help somebody who she’d seen herself in.
There were people outside of the bubble I lived in.
Perhaps it had had nothing to do with me at all, just her
wanting to help Nate by getting him away from his dad. So
she’d sabotaged him.
That was something I still couldn’t wrap my mind
around.
“Why’s your heart beating so fast?” a dozy voice piped
up with a tap against my chest where her head was resting.
I peeped down at Indigo, who I held in my arms as I sat
waiting in the food court. For a Friday afternoon, the mall
was relatively peaceful. Back when I’d been in high school,
the mall was always filled with teenagers, highlighting my
argument that teenagers were fucking scary. Walking past
a group of them was like hiking past a pack of wild animals.
“Aren’t you supposed to be asleep?” I countered her
inquiry with one of my own.
Nyx had left us just five minutes ago to get some
groceries and Indigo had declared to be too exhausted to
walk around the supermarket. So I’d stayed in the food
court with her and she’d said she was going to take a nap
because school was so tiring. When I’d asked her what she
did at school that was so tiring, she’d told me that dealing
with other human beings was what distressed her.
“How can I with your heart drumming in my ears?” she
questioned whilst rolling her eyes and I smiled. Indigo
really did have Nyx’s personality. Poppy was more sweet
and quiet, like Annie. Nyx and Indigo could never keep
their mouths shut about what they were thinking. “Are you
thinking about Nyxie?”
Grimacing, I watched her brush hair out of her face.
That question came out of nowhere. “Why would you think
that?”
Indigo shrugged, which I discovered was a habit she had
when she thought you were being silly. “Your heart’s
beating fast. Annie says if you think about someone you
love, your heart beats fast.” I nearly stopped breathing.
Were all Taylor girls this blunt? “Annie says you love Nyxie
—”
“Okay,” I cut her off and prayed to God my face wasn’t
as red as it felt. I needed to have a word with Annie. My
face inflamed further when I wondered if Annie had told
Nyx the same thing. “Enough of that.”
She blinked up at me, seeming pestered. “Why else
would you offer to take us to the mall? Shouldn’t you be at
a club or something?”
This was merely another step in righting my wrongs,
making up for all the times I’d been an asshole to Nyx.
Now, more than ever, I needed to make up for my blunders
because there was an enormous chance all of my
resentment and rage had been for nothing. Not even a
chance, it was a reality. Despite Nyx not yet being ready to
explain, it was obvious that I’d been wrong.
And I was going to grovel the fuck out of this situation.
“Can’t I be a nice person?” I riposted, finding offence.
Indigo stayed silent for a minute, peering into my
fucking soul as if she was searching for answers like some
sort of therapist.
Once she nodded to herself, I found myself fearing what
she was going to say. “I know what it is,” she stated
resolutely, and I waited patiently, wanting to hear what she
had to say. “You want to mate with Nyx—”
I began convulsing violently, startling the girl in my
arms as I choked on air. She hit my back when I tried to get
air into my lungs. My throat felt raw as I coughed and
people began to look over. Indigo beamed at them and
showed them a thumbs up.
“I want to what?”
She shrugged again. “Mate,” she echoed slowly. “You
want to have babies with her. That’s why you’re helping
her, because you need to impress her. It’s like a mating
dance.”
My tongue felt numb and I didn’t know what to say.
Luckily, I didn’t have to say anything because Nyx was
walking towards us. Hopefully, Indigo would keep her
mouth shut about our previous conversation.
I turned around when I saw Nyx getting closer, empty-
handed. She constantly carried herself as if she had an
audience. There were always a few eyes trailing her and I
couldn’t blame them.
She sighed, looking just as annoyed as Indigo. “Okay, a
bad idea going for groceries first. The lines are so long.”
Checking her phone quickly, she tucked it back into her
jeans.
Those jeans would honestly be the death of me. It had to
be a new pair because I’d never seen her in it before. It
was a dark blue colour and practically painted onto her
legs. Plus, it did wonders for her ass. My dick had nearly
saluted her when I’d arrived at Daisy’s Delicacies to pick
her up. I’d had to remind myself that we were in the
presence of Indigo.
“Now what?” Indigo urged her sister, tugging at my
earlobe.
“Now, we get some other things,” she said, gesturing for
me to get up. “Poppy needs new kneepads for her next
volleyball match and you, little miss,” she kissed Indigo’s
head, “need a new leotard and tutu for your recital.”
Nyx had mentioned Poppy was at volleyball practice this
afternoon. It was why she didn’t have the truck because
Annie needed it to go to Poppy’s practice after her shift. I
stood up, hoisting Indigo in my arms as she clung to my
neck. Nyx led us to a store with sparkles in the windows.
The mannequins wore elaborate costumes and Indigo
clapped at the sight of them. It looked like the store
stocked all kinds of supplies for dancers because the space
was humongous with different sections dedicated to
different types of dance genres.
“When’s the recital?” I questioned, following behind Nyx
as she examined the racks. She held up a few and
compared them to Indigo. The latter was small for her age
and Nyx strolled towards the younger ages.
“Sunday,” she returned, eying a sparkly purple leotard.
“By the way, you boys have next week free. The
fundraiser’s only the following weekend and the next match
is the next week.” My relief must’ve been evident because
she laughed. “Benson and I thought you all deserved it. I’ll
leave it to you to tell your team.”
The past four weeks had definitely been rough on us
with practice every day and attending fundraisers plus
matches. I could just picture their excitement once I told
them. Hockey wasn’t everything for us. We had classes as
well, and I knew quite a few of the guys were behind on
assignments and lectures. An entire week off meant
catching up on everything and unwinding.
Indigo saw something, squealed, and kicked her legs for
me to put her down. I nearly toppled over when her foot hit
my dick. She apologised softly but Nyx was howling with
laughter. I’d been slammed into the plexiglass during
matches, hit with a hockey stick against my jaw, and not
even those hurt as much as getting kicked in the dick.
“Can I try this one?” Indigo urged, holding up a white
leotard with little diamonds stitched all over. The sleeves
were long and made of lace.
Nyx struggled to speak through her laughter as I cupped
my crotch, so she nodded. When she followed her baby
sister to the fitting rooms, I cursed under my breath
because that kick had hurt like a bitch. Part of me
wondered if she’d done it on purpose. I wouldn’t put it past
Indigo.
There was an elderly lady gawking at me as she picked
out a pair of tap shoes, probably for her grandchild. She
glanced down at my hands on my crotch, pulled a face and
then scurried towards the other side of the store. I
probably traumatised her. After taking a few deep breaths,
I headed towards the fitting room.
“Are you sure you don’t need any help?” Nyx asked
through the shut stall door. “I’m gonna look for a tutu that
goes with your leotard. Lock the door and stay put until I
return.” Indigo yelled her agreement and Nyx backtracked,
nearly crashing into me. “She’s got a solo,” she told me
with a grin, whirling around and making her way towards
the tutus. “So she gets to wear whatever she likes.”
The pride was clear in her eyes and it brought a smile to
my face. “Of course she’s got a solo,” I mused, blinking at
the vivid colours of the surrounding tutus. Some were long,
some short and flowy, whereas others were poofy like a
ballgown. “Next you’ll tell me that Poppy’s the captain of
her team.” Nyx froze, smiling. “No fucking way.”
She smirked, favouring back against the shelf. “What
can I say? I’m not the only sibling that strives for success.”
There was a faraway look in her eyes, one that always
seemed to catch her when she was happy. Like everything
else, there was a more profound meaning behind it, a
deeper reason why the Taylor girls strived for the best.
The guilt came rushing back alongside regret. Each
wave was colder than the last and I dreaded that by the
time the full truth was unveiled, I’d be nothing but an icicle
solidified in my own mistakes. Reaching out, I tugged her
closer and she floundered into my chest. Nyx looked up at
me, bewildered.
“I’m sorry, baby,” I murmured and her brows furrowed.
“It shouldn’t have taken me this long to realise there was
obviously more to the story—why are you smiling?”
“Because you’re an idiot,” she returned, still smiling.
“You’re a real fucking idiot. Since when do you care about
what I think of you?” I shrugged, my action broadening her
smile. Startling me, she tugged me down to her height,
pushing my lips against hers. “You’ve been less unlikeable
recently,” she mumbled, looking disturbed. “And I hate it.”
I chuckled, sliding my hands down her back. “I’m
sorry?” She pulled a face. “If it helps, you’ve been less
unlikeable lately too.”
She tutted in displeasure. “You know, this could easily
be resolved if you considered my hypothesis.” I rolled my
eyes, and she jokingly punched my shoulder. “It makes
sense. Think about it. After we have sex, we’ll go back to
being normal around each other—”
“This sounds like a bad movie plot,” I proceeded,
squeezing her ass. I’d been wanting to do that since I’d first
seen her in those jeans. She pouted at my words.
I had to hear about her hypothesis each time we saw
each other and I never gave in. It made little sense. I’d
fucked Nyx Taylor before, and you didn’t just move on with
life after doing something like that. If anything, the
attraction between us would intensify after we had sex
again. This wasn’t a movie where everything miraculously
worked out after a badly thought-out plan. Then again, Nyx
was desperate to go back to having no weaknesses. And
attraction seemed to be a weakness for her.
Before she could quarrel, I kissed her again, relishing
the way she melted in my arms. Her hands strayed to my
hair where she tugged at the messy strands as I dragged
her closer. If I was ever worried about Indigo’s kick
breaking my dick, I knew now that my concern was
needless.
A throat cleared. “Shouldn’t you be saving that for the
bedroom?” I detached my mouth from Nyx’s and
recognised the elderly lady.
Nyx spun around in my arms and demanded, “Shouldn’t
you be picking out your tombstone?” The elderly lady
gasped in aversion and I was torn between apologising and
laughing. With one last huff, the woman hiked her bag with
her purchase further up her arm and then left the store.
Nyx looked back at me. “What?”
I shook my head. “That was rude.”
She rolled her eyes and shifted her attention back to the
tutus, settling on a white one. We went back to the fitting
rooms and Nyx knocked on Indigo’s door, telling her to
come out. The tiny girl stepped towards where we sat, her
hair all over the place. She had a good eye because the
leotard was really pretty.
“Come here,” Nyx told her, gesturing for her to step
closer. When she was close enough, Nyx held out the tutu
and Indigo slipped her legs inside. “Well, look at you,” she
stated with a big smile, causing Indigo to flush. “I guess
this is the one?”
Indigo nodded and I grinned at her. “Well, don’t you look
pretty?”
I poked her cheek and she scowled, despite the blush
coating her cheeks. “I will literally eat your finger.” Her
stomach growled suddenly and she tapped it as if it was a
monster. “Can we get something to eat that won’t turn me
into a cannonball?”
Neither of us corrected her because she already
stomped back to the fitting room.

“I meant to get something immediately,” Indigo complained

from her seat in the shopping cart, “not after we get
groceries.” I poked her nose whilst shifting the cart
through different aisles, attempting to find Nyx.
When I didn’t spot her in the cereal aisle, I groaned.
“Where’d she go?”
Indigo gave me a look. “You should try shopping with
Annie. She walks like a snail.”
 “And this one’s like a damn bullet,” I appended and she
snickered into her hands.
Nyx kept disappearing. Then she’d pop up with a few
things, throw them in the cart and then vanish again.
Considering that it was pointless walking around looking
for her, I grabbed a few things of my own that I wanted to
buy, throwing in some candy for Indigo, seeing as her sister
had a limit on candy in the house.
Everything today felt a little too domestic for my taste;
shopping with Nyx. Just a few minutes ago, a woman had
stepped up to me and said that Indigo looked just like me.
The little girl had glared at the woman until she walked
away and we had both promised to never speak of that
moment again.
“How about cookies?” Indigo proposed, shifting in her
seat so she could browse everything on the shelves.
“Chocolate chip.” I pushed the cart, looking for the cookies.
“There it is!” She pointed to the top shelf and I reached for
it, tossing it into the cart.
“Beck?”
Both Indigo and I turned our heads, spotting the tall
woman with slightly greying brown hair. She was adorned
in her usual long sundress and cardigan.
I blinked. “Mom?”
Of all places and times to run into her. Indigo pouted,
her thin little brows furrowing as if she couldn’t possibly
believe that I had a mother. Knowing her, she probably
believed me to have popped out from an alien egg.
“Mom?” But then she looked at me, repeating the word
slowly. “Mom.” Her features conveyed that the words felt
unnatural on her tongue, and I felt some part of my chest
squeeze painfully.
My mom glimpsed from me to Indigo and then smiled
that tender smile of hers, one that I’d seen many times as a
young boy when I’d stupidly injured myself.
 “Well, this is a lovely surprise. Never thought I’d see the
day you shopped for your own groceries.” She laughed,
turning to Indigo. “Hello, sweetheart. Are you a friend of
Beck’s?”
I clenched my jaw as Indigo snorted before saying, “He
wishes he was my friend.” My mom laughed, showcasing
that she always found delight in little kids. It was why she
was a teacher. Just when I thought Indigo was becoming
better at getting along with me, she articulated again. “But
he’s dating my sister.” Heat flared in my cheeks, like a
flame being lit there by Indigo herself.
“Beck!” My mom looked at me with wide hazel eyes.
“You have a girlfriend and you didn’t tell me?” I opened my
mouth to say something, but she spoke again. “Is this why
you haven’t been home to visit in the past week?” And all of
this was happening in the candy aisle.
Indigo grinned. “Her name’s Nyxie. Just earlier, they
were kissing in the store. His hands were on her butt and
everything—”
Through my embarrassment, I glowered at her. “You left
the fitting room after Nyx told you to stay put?”
She shrugged. “You guys were a few feet away. All I had
to do was stick my head underneath the door. I was
wondering why you were taking so long. Turns out, you just
wanna make babies—” Not the mating thing again.
“I’m becoming a grandmother?” my mom asked with a
provoking grin. She knew very well how disconcerted I was
at that moment and she was savouring it.
Growing up, she’d purposely try to make me shy in front
of my friends or tease me. Having her and Indigo gang up
on me was my worst nightmare. I could only imagine what
would happen if Nyx was added to the equation. Each of
them had a knack for making me want to peel my skin from
my body, purely for their amusement.
Cursing underneath my breath, I seized a lollipop from
the shelf, unwrapped it, and put it in Indigo’s mouth. “You,”
I told her, “shut up.” Then I twisted to my mom who was
laughing. “Nobody’s pregnant.” Indigo took the lollipop out
of her mouth to say something. “Shush.” She put it back in,
rolling her eyes. Clearing my throat, I stated, “It’s nice to
see you, Mom.”
She stepped forward, opening her arms and I hugged
her. In regular mom fashion, she pinched my cheeks. The
scent of cinnamon embraced my nose and I fell deeper into
the hug. My mom always smelt like cinnamon.
“It’s nice to see you, too. Your dad gets more visits out of
you because you visit the station but you’re too damn lazy
to drive and see me at the house unless you need a good
lecture. How have you been doing since the last time we
spoke?” There was a knowing look in her eyes, a subtle
question asking if I’d sorted things out with Nyx.
“Great. Our last two matches were a win and I’m on a
break for a while.” Again, there was an underlying meaning
to my words. I was making progress with my girl and
wouldn’t rest until she and her sisters were safe.
“Good. That means you can visit your poor old mother,”
she replied with a nod of her head. I knew she didn’t need
the visits because she was a busy bee, part of many clubs;
including sports, books and cooking. But I was her only
child and she enjoyed my company, probably because she
found happiness in humiliating and lecturing me. “I’ve
missed you, Hammy—”
“Hammy!” Indigo bellowed, nearly choking on her
lollipop as she cackled. “This is gold.”
I scowled at my mom as she laughed into her hand.
“Nobody ever called me that.”
It was a random name she’d loved to bring up whenever
I’d had a girl over at the house, whether it was for a project
or just to hang out. Suffice to say, they never returned after
my mom had brought out that horrible weapon of hers;
Hammy.
 “Nice tits!” The disturbance came from further down the
aisle and my mom gasped, tightening her cardigan even
though the man wasn’t speaking to her.
Completely forgetting that she was in the middle of
digging my grave of mortification, she declared, “The nerve
of some men to harass young women. I should kick him
where the sun doesn’t shine.” Indigo stared at her in
reverence and I sighed. New friends bonding over violence,
how exciting. My mom frowned. “Well, she doesn’t look
happy.”
I looked towards the commotion and groaned. “Oh,
fuck.”
Indigo poked my chest. “Bad word. You owe me a dollar,
Hammy.” Handing her a dollar, I pushed the cart closer and
my mom frowned at my concern. She’d be finding out soon
enough.
“Repeat what you just said,” Nyx responded with
narrowed eyes, standing taller despite her lack of height
against her opponent. The man opposite her was dressed in
a suit, similar to the ones the men at the bank wore. He
wore a name tag, but I couldn’t make out the name from
where I stood.
He grinned placidly at her, looking nonchalant in his
business suit and shopping in the candy aisle. “What?” he
sought with a chuckle. “I just said you have some nice tits.”
My hands clenched around the handle of the shopping
cart and my mom’s eyes zeroed in on the movement. Indigo
bit into the lollipop, the crunch sound filling my ears as Nyx
stared at the man. She had nice tits, but I doubted she
wanted to hear that from a stranger. As much as the flimsy
tank top she wore emphasised her assets, it didn’t give
strange men the right to objectify her.
“And do you think it’s okay to tell a woman that she has
nice tits?” Nyx was scowling at him now, gripping the
carton of milk in her hands. “How would you feel if I
walked past you and said I liked the fucking shape of your
dick?”
I heard my mom snort at her inquiry and I glanced over
at her. This was not how I was expecting her to meet Nyx.
“Just thank me for the compliment, fucking hell,” the
man shrugged, reaching for a bar of chocolate on the shelf.
Nyx glared. “No. I won’t thank you.” He glared back,
becoming annoyed. “Because that’s all this is for you, a
brief moment for you to objectify a woman, make her feel
uneasy. But are you the only man on this fucking planet?”
He went to articulate, but she acknowledged her own
inquiry. “No, you’re not. And you’re also not the first
strange man to tell me I have nice tits. So thank you for
making me feel even more uncomfortable than I was
before!”
He stepped back, raising his hands in capitulation. The
regret was visible in his eyes. He’d made a big mistake by
provoking Nyx. “Jesus, I’m sorry. Can’t you take a joke?”
Nyx laughed, disturbing the man. “Yes, because the ‘f’ in
sexual harassment stands for funny.” Her eyes dropped to
his name tag. “And I’m assuming the ‘f’ in Frank stands for
fucking asshole.” I chuckled at the expression he wore. He
probably wasn’t expecting to be chewed out by somebody
nearly half his size. She opened the carton of milk. “Here.
Since you like tits so much. Have some milk.”
Indigo cackled evilly as she watched her sister spray the
man with milk. He barked obscenities and dropped his
chocolate, hurrying away. At some point, he slipped and
tumbled into a nearby shopping cart. Even my mom
couldn’t hide her laughter and neither could the other
passing customers. Nyx placed the empty carton on a shelf
and sauntered towards me. She looked exhausted, as if
dealing with that man had taken all of her energy.
I opened my arms and she walked right in, falling
against my chest. Indigo was counting on her fingers. “You
cussed five times,” she told her older sister, “you owe me
five dollars.”
The blonde groaned, pulling away slightly before
stating, “I hate men.” I laughed, rubbing her back
soothingly. That’s when she noticed my mom; who was
grinning at us like a creep. I prayed internally that she
didn’t say anything to humiliate me.
My mom pulled Nyx away from me and enveloped her in
a hug, confusing me. “I knew I recognised you.” The two
stared at each other and I frowned in dismay. How the fuck
did they know each other? “But I had no idea you were
dating my son.” My mom’s smile grew, nearly splitting her
face in half as Indigo smirked.
Nyx swallowed. “Dating. Your son.” She looked at me
and I looked at Indigo. It was her mess.
Not noticing the awkward atmosphere, my mom clapped
happily. “How does supper at my place sound? We’d love to
hear all about the girl who stole Hammy’s heart.”
Fuck. My. Life.

OceanofPDF.com
I f you’d told me a few weeks ago that one day I’d be on
my way to have supper with Beckham Hunt’s parents, I
would’ve punched you in the throat. Then removed your
windpipe, used it as a flute and played a tune as I tap-
danced on your grave. Okay, that was a little dramatic, but
I was freaking out. Never would I have thought that I’d
ever meet Beckham’s parents. The closest I’d gotten to it
was that one time I daydreamed I’d murdered Beckham
and they came to my execution as I paid for my crimes.
Of course, I hadn’t known what they looked like, so my
brain had filled in the blanks.
Not even when Beckham and I had been somewhat
together had I ever imagined meeting his parents. That was
a milestone of sorts I hadn’t wanted to reach. It meant
things were getting serious and that scared me. If I already
hadn’t wanted to label us, imagine how I would’ve felt
about meeting his parents.
His mom had looked painstakingly familiar and I
couldn’t place my finger on it. It was only when Beckham
had driven me home that I realised she’d been one half of
the couple that always had breakfast at the cafe. She was
the same woman who’d questioned me about her son
without even telling me she was his mother. I’d known
there was something up with her.
She looked youthful, with creamlike skin and a great
sense of style. I’d been so immersed in my stupor that I
barely paid attention when she’d said she would meet us
back at her home in a little while for supper. Girlfriend. She
thought I was Beckham’s girlfriend. Indigo had had a merry
laugh about it on the way back home.
Beckham had waited in the kitchen as I went to my room
to change. I’d made him promise that he’d clarify things
with his parents at the supper. Having dinner with a friend
was fine but I was in no way taking it further than that.
Halfway through my panic attack on what to wear, Annie
had arrived home with Poppy.
“Try the blue dress,” Poppy pointed to the one I tossed
onto the floor. Her skin was tinged red with her activities at
practice, making it appear as if she had a disastrous
sunburn. She was still wearing her uniform, too excited
about my so-called date to go and change or even look at
the new kneepads I’d bought her. “It matches your eyes.”
Indigo sat at the edge of my bed, a bag of candy in her
lap, provided for her by Beckham. “No, she should wear the
silvery slip dress,” she shook her head, bouncing with
enthusiasm. Annie was going to have her hands full with
her tonight. “It matches Hammy’s eyes.”
Poppy did a double-take, gawking at Indigo. “Hammy?”
I disregarded them as Indigo frantically told her sister
all about her adventures at the mall. Although, her version
of events was completely exaggerated compared to what
had actually happened. The two consumed candy as I
fretted about what to wear. Eventually, I settled on the blue
dress, because it was informal, and paired it with sneakers
and tights (seeing as it was kinda chilly). To make up for my
lack of silver, Indigo planted a silver heart necklace around
me to equal Beckham’s eyes. I left the two sugar-high kids
in my room and went to Annie, who was talking to
Beckham.
“I’m done,” I announced, reaching into the fridge to take
a sip of a bottle of water. My throat felt drier than dirt. All
the water succeeded in doing was turn my throat thick, like
sand turning into mud. Silence was all that embraced me,
and I halted midway through a sip and looked at Annie. She
was smirking, holding a steaming mug of coffee to her
chest. I glanced at the only other person in the kitchen.
Beckham was staring at me with a weird look in his eyes
before he looked at Annie and then at his feet. My stomach
did a ghastly flip and I shoved the bottle back into the
fridge.
Annie snorted and then placed her mug down to squeeze
me. “Have fun.”
I yelled bye to my baby sisters and left the house,
following Beckham to his car. He opened the passenger
door and I stopped. “What’s wrong with you?” I asked.
He finally met my gaze and squinted at me as he held
the door open. “Opening the door for you?”
My lips tilted into a teasing smile. “Are you trying to
manipulate me—”
“Oh my fucking—just get in the car, Nyx,” he spoke with
a deep groan, tossing his head back in exasperation. I
crossed my arms, wondering why he was being beyond
charming. There was only so much nice Beckham I could
manage. “Get in the fucking car before I strap you to the
seat with rope.”
I rolled my eyes. “Kinky.” Sauntering past him, I climbed
into the car and he shut the door, walking around before
hopping inside. “This isn’t a date,” I felt the need to remind
him.
He didn’t reply, only scowled at me and started the car. I
didn’t speak on the way to his parent’s house, my throat
rammed with nerves until there was no space for words to
shift through. It was a surprise I was breathing evenly.
 “Who’s Uncle Robbie?” Beckham asked after about five
minutes of me panicking. I hid a smile at his question,
knowing that Annie had probably told him one of her
stories. Or a lot, considering how long it had taken me to
get ready.
“He was my mom’s best friend, passed away when I was
younger,” I answered, turning to look at him and forgetting
about my previous apprehension. “Annie speak about him?”
He nodded, seemingly satisfied that he’d distracted me.
“She mentioned that he would’ve enjoyed terrorising me
before he let me take you out.” I laughed quietly. “When I
asked who he was, it seemed to open a flood of stories.”
That was said with a smirk and I laughed harder.
“She takes any opportunity to talk about him. Usually
only with me because Poppy and Indigo weren’t born yet
when he died.”
Beckham lowered the sound of the radio. “She says you
don’t remember him.”
“I don’t remember anything before the age of seven,” I
mumbled, realising that I’d never mentioned this to
Beckham before. “Around the time of my seventh birthday, I
was in a car wreck—”
“You were what?” Beckham asked, disbelief etched into
his features and I smiled at his confused frown.
“I was in a car wreck. I’d gotten a concussion that left
some effects, unfortunately.”
He was still bewildered. “That’s why you can’t
remember?”
I nodded. “Retrograde amnesia. I can’t recall any of my
memories that were formed before the accident. Annie still
has hope, though.”
Beckham blinked. “You were in a car wreck.” He looked
suddenly tense, his grip on the steering wheel tightened.
I couldn’t help it, I laughed. “Beck, it’s not like I
remember the accident. You can calm down. I’m not about
to freak out.”
 His body eased slightly. “A car wreck.”
“I got off better than Uncle Robbie though,” I attempted
a dark joke, one that Beckham didn’t appreciate. His eyes
filled with understanding. Some part of me wanted to cry,
but there was no reason to. I’d be crying for a man I didn’t
remember. Sensing my inner turmoil, Beckham placed a
comforting hand on my thigh.
“I wish I remembered him,” I admitted, more to myself
than Beckham. “I never told Annie this because she wears
that look of pity—which I hate. I pretend that it doesn’t
bother me, that the fact that I can’t remember him doesn’t
unnerve me. But he loved me enough, was with me enough
times for me to begin calling him Dad. I wish I remembered
him because he was more of a father to me than my own.
He cared for me when my real dad was still debating
whether we were worth it or not. And he doesn’t exist
anymore, not even in my memories.” I rubbed my eyes in
aggravation. “It’s stupid.”
Beckham changed gears before he squeezed my leg.
“It’s not stupid. In fact, I think it’s amazing. You miss him
although—”
“Although I don’t remember him,” I scoffed,
comprehending that it sounded dumb. What was there to
miss?
“No. Your brain might not remember him, but a heart
never forgets,” he said firmly before wincing almost
dramatically. “Fuck. I didn’t just say that. You didn’t hear
that shit.” He looked pained. “Holy fuck. I did not just say
that. What the actual fuck?”
I was smiling so hard, watching him fight the urge to
shudder. “Thank you.” He cringed, stepping on the gas and
I leaned over to peck his cheek. “That quote of yours is
going on a t-shirt.”
He huffed. “Fuck you, Taylor.”
Grinning, I settled my hand over his, turning to stare out
the window. Beckham’s face was so red and I decided to
not tease him further. Unbeknownst to him, his supposedly
cringey words had meant something to me. So he escaped
my taunts; this time.
The drive was lengthy and I shook my head when he
took a detour into the fancy neighbourhood of Glendale.
Everything looked straight out of a movie. Even in the
light of the slowly setting sun, the street looked clean
enough to eat from. The grass was such a vigorous shade of
green that I had to blink a few times to make sure it was
real. Trees created an archway of sorts along the street,
giving everything a tranquil feeling.
Beckham pointed towards a house with a spacious
garden. If I closed my eyes, I could imagine rich blossoms
and swaying trees. But all that I saw was death, literally.
The flowers were withering, the vines that coiled around
the house looked more like maggots trying to plod through
the fissures. The sight made me quiver.
After a rigid moment of censorship, Beckham hummed,
“Grayson’s house.”
My mouth parted in surprise. It was eerie to think of
vivacious Grayson Carter once living in a house as dismal
looking as that. But then again, he was a third-year student
and had moved away from his parents long ago.
I licked my lips, trying to articulate around the blockage
in my throat. “The garden must’ve been really beautiful at
some point.”
Beckham passed me a look that I didn’t understand and
nodded. We drove a little further down the street. Everyone
looked friendly. There were some people tending to their
gardens, taking a stroll or even lounging on their lawn as
they watched the sunset. We pulled into a long driveway of
a three-storey house. The structure was old, yet it was
evident the property was well cared for. I took in a deep
breath and then climbed out of the car.
Beckham strolled around to my side, setting his hands
on my shoulders when I took in a deep breath. “Hey, chill
out.”
“Chill out,” I parodied in a high-pitched voice and he
chuckled, leaning down to kiss me. I allowed him to, even
dragged him closer until I realised where we were.
Elbowing him away, I said, “Don’t kiss me.” His lips were
swollen and he looked dazed. “Your parents are gonna
think we’re together, asshole.”
Beckham rolled his eyes and I saw somebody sitting in a
sun lounger at the house across the street. She was
wearing a bikini, trying to get the last of the sun. The sight
kinda threw me off because we were in the middle of
winter. The girl’s hair reminded me of the Weasley family
from Harry Potter. It was a blinding shade of orange. She
noticed me looking and so did Beckham.
“Hey, River!” he called, waving a hand and she grinned
as she reciprocated the action. An unusual feeling slithered
up my throat, the same way the vines were snaking up
Grayson’s house. Beckham discerned the look I was giving
him and smirked. “Jealous, baby?”
I huffed. “Fuck off.”
He tossed an arm around my shoulder, escorting me to
the door. “Put away those claws. She’s Sebastian’s little
sister.” The feeling went away and Beckham grinned at my
controlled appearance. He opened the door, allowing me to
enter first. “My dad’s car’s not here yet but he’s probably
on his way.” The house was even more pretty on the inside.
Elegant. I was afraid to touch anything, afraid that I’d
contaminate it somehow. “Mom!”
As Beckham called out for Helen, I gazed at the walls
that we passed. Professionally taken family photographs
ornamented the walls. There were plenty of Beckham; their
golden child. Many incorporated Sebastian, Grayson and
Beth, seeing as they’d grown up on the same street. His
parents looked in love in every photo of them. He guided
me into the living room where he motioned for me to sit
down.
 Helen tripped into the room, an apron bound around the
same dress she’d worn earlier, only the cardigan was
removed. Her hair was tied into a bun at her nape, and she
beamed at the sight of me.
“There she is!” she exclaimed. “I’d hug you but I was
busy with the steak and I wouldn’t want to get sauce all
over you.”
I merely smiled, almost trembling with nerves. “You
have a lovely home.” Was that a dumb thing to say? I’d
witnessed it in a movie before. I wasn’t a girl that guys
usually brought home to meet the parents so I had zero
practice with what was happening.
Thankfully, Helen looked pleased with my admiration.
She gave off the same energy as the sun. “That is the most
delightful thing you could’ve told me. Thank you,
sweetheart.” With the enthusiasm of Indigo during a sugar
rush, she beckoned me forward and ushered me into the
kitchen. “I’ve heard so many great things about you.”
Beckham groaned, following us. “Mom, please.”
“Go away,” she swished her hand as if she was sweeping
off a gnat, and I couldn’t help but smile. “It’s the first time
I’m properly meeting your girlfriend. It’s been over a year
since you first spoke about her? How are we only meeting
her now?”
Over a year. There was a fluttering sensation in my
stomach but I schooled my features, willing the feeling to
go away.
“About that,” he replied, scratching the back of his neck
as he cleared his throat. Helen froze and so did I. “We’re
not dating.” Helen looked between us repeatedly and I held
my breath. He should’ve added something a little more
because now it sounded like we were only fucking around.
“As you may recall, I’m helping the team during
championship season,” I appended with a grin, taking a
seat on a barstool that Beckham held out for me. “Event
planning.”
 Seeing my flushed face, she sighed in understanding.
“Oh, so we’re in that phase of the relationship.” I frowned
and Beckham looked at his mom with a dead stare. There
was no relationship to begin with. “So, who’s the one
unwilling to admit they’ve got feelings for the other? My
money’s on my boy.” She waved another hand, scorning
Beckham’s look of disbelief. “The entire world would be
able to see that he’s in love, yet he wouldn’t say a damn—”
“Nobody’s in love,” Beckham interposed instantly and I
felt my cheeks boiling again. “We’re just friends.” I cleared
my throat awkwardly. Were we even friends? Eh. Helen’s
smile didn’t leave her face and it made me apprehensive.
She was nodding but didn’t reveal her thoughts.
“Understand, Mom?”
Shrugging, she answered, “I understand just fine. Now,
go get the grill going before your dad arrives.” Beckham
glanced at me and I nodded, showing that I’d be fine. Once
he was gone, Helen giggled. “Do you mind waiting until a
little later for a tour? I’m starving and want to get the food
done as soon as possible.”
I shook my head. Helen spoke a mile a minute and it was
an effort to keep up with her. Her hands moved with every
word and there was always a smile on her face. She was a
highly animated talker. Beckham had told me she was a
teacher and it made so much sense. Her classes were
probably so much fun. Indigo would have the time of her
life if Helen was her teacher.
Not even five minutes later, the front door opened.
Footfalls played through hallway, keys settled on a wooden
surface, and then a tall man entered the kitchen, decked in
a police uniform. He had the same dark hair and silvery
eyes as Beckham. When his eyes descended on me, he
looked far from startled and smiled. He strode over to
Helen and planted a kiss on her lips.
“Anthony Hunt,” he said in a rough voice, holding a hand
out to me, which I shook gingerly. “You must be Beck’s girl.
Nyx, is it?” The man was intimidating as fuck and I couldn’t
find it in myself to correct him, terrified that he’d arrest
me. It was clear where Beckham got everything from. His
dad was a gigantic man, hinting back to his days as a
hockey player. “It’s good to finally meet you.”
The way he phrased it made me shudder in trepidation.
“Beck’s outback with the grill,” Helen stated, tapping her
husband’s arm. “You should help him.”
“I’ll get changed first,” Anthony motioned to his uniform.
With one last smile, he retreated upstairs. Helen watched
him leave, eyes levelled on his backside and I coughed
around a laugh.
“Married for 25 years and I’ll never get sick of that ass.
Especially in that uniform,” she muttered and I couldn’t
hold back my laughter this time.
I wondered what it would be like to have what they had.
The two were clearly in love after all these years. And it
would forever be immortalised in the photographs of them.
I thanked her when she delivered me a glass of orange
juice.
“25 years is a long time,” I mused.
Marriage never appealed to me, probably because I’d
had a poor example of it. In 25 years, I could be so much
more instead of being tied down. Annie seemed more like
the type to marry and have kids. My marriage would never
work out because my husband could never restrain me.
And I’d seen first-hand what happened to relationships like
those. Perhaps the lonely life befitted me. My sisters would
have kids and I’d have a big family, just not one of my own.
The thought of having one disturbed me a little.
I was gonna be the cool aunt for sure.
Helen nodded with a faraway look in her eyes,
presumably reliving her favourite moments. “It sure is. But
I remember every second. How long have your parents
been married?”
 Her question was asked absentmindedly. My smile
drained, but fortunately, Helen didn’t notice. She was
moving the steak to a clean tray and I was thankful for that.
I didn’t want her to see the moment of dread in my eyes.
“They got married when I was seven, but they aren’t
together anymore,” I apprised her, having to scrape the
words from my tongue. I hated talking about them. “My
mom left five years ago.”
Wiping her hands on a cloth, Helen frowned, seemingly
doing the calculations in her head.
The sombre expression told me everything I needed to
know. She apprehended that Indigo had just been a baby
when my mom had left. But I didn’t want pity. We were
doing fine without her and I believed we’d soon be out of
the clutches of my dad. The taste of freedom was mouth-
watering, just out of my reach. For so long, it seemed like
an unattainable goal and now we were so close. My dad
could run off into the sunset with his new family. My mom
could do what she wanted once she left rehab. I didn’t care.
Annie still cared. It was obvious. But she’d soon see that
hoping was futile. There was no hope for Matthew Taylor.
Poppy had never liked him, not after he’d berated her
solely because she looked like our mom. I could see the
hope slowly leaving Indigo too. No matter her age, she was
clever enough to understand a father wasn’t supposed to
act the way he did.
“Her loss,” Helen responded with a disdainful look,
displeasure glazing her words like a poisonous cake.
“Indigo’s got one hell of an attitude and Annie makes the
best coffee I’ve ever tasted.”
I grinned. “There’s Poppy too. She’s the shy one.”
“A house full of girls,” Helen was beaming again. “It
must drive your dad nuts.” I didn’t reply, just nodded. “I’m
satisfied with my two big boys. Do you mind taking this to
Beck?” She held out a tray with the steak.
 “What happened to Hammy?” I inquired, prompting
Helen to laugh as I wandered away, following the directions
she’d given me. I spotted measurements against the wall
from when Beckham was a boy. The latest measurement
was taken when he’d turned 21. I smiled.
The rest of the house was even more gorgeous and I had
to clench my jaw to keep my mouth from dropping open
when I entered the backyard. I first noticed the hot tub,
and then the large pool. There was a garden to the side
with a dainty little fence and a sign that read: Helen’s Little
Corner. There were three sets of handprints on it, the third
was a small pair. My eyes watered slightly as I took in
everything before me. I wondered if this was where
Beckham had laid stargazing with his parents and
discovered his fondness for stars, where Helen had taken
him to play when he was a toddler. Or where Anthony had
taught him the basics of hockey.
This backyard was like Pandora’s box, except it was
stuffed with memories. And I’d just opened it. I could feel
my throat locking with the inconsistencies between my
childhood and Beckham’s. He had parents who loved him.
Sure, my mom would try to protect us from our dad, but
she had still left. She’d given up.
A stubborn tear slipped out of my eye and traced down
my cheek. The tray was abruptly taken away from me and
settled on the picnic table. And then Beckham was in front
of me.
“What’s wrong?”
I despised that question because whenever someone
asked me that—everything would leave me in a torrent of
emotions. The dam would just burst. Usually, I was strong
enough to stop it, but not now.
“Why couldn’t I have had this?” I questioned in a tiny
voice, feeling more tears escape. Beckham frowned as my
voice cracked. “What did I do in my past life to have
deserved what happened to me? What did we do?” I
sniffled, pestered when my tears wouldn’t stop. “There’s no
rage within these walls.”
He wiped my tears. “What are you talking about?”
When he cupped my face in his hands, I laid mine over
his. “There’s no rage within these walls,” I repeated,
blinking to free myself from the useless tears. “When I
walked into your house it was silent. When I walk into my
house I can hear the remnants of the yells, the violence.”
“Nyx—”
“The walls are like sponges. They’ve swallowed
everything my dad ever said and each time I open those
doors, I can hear it,” I murmured, shuddering.
Beckham cursed and pulled me into his chest.
My voice was deadened against his sweater. “There’re
no holes in the walls here, holes that need to be fixed by
hanging something over it. The kitchen feels warm like
your mom is always baking something.” I sniffled again. “I
never had that. My dad scared my mom away. She was a
coward and ran but not before pushing my grandma away.
And my dad beat me because he hated the life he was
living. He was always scolding the little ones. Why? I could
never understand it. I could never understand why he’d do
that—”
Beckham leaned down to stare into my eyes, his voice
steady. “If you can’t rationalise why your dad did all that he
did to you, it’s because you’re not like him. You’re nothing
like him, baby. Understand that.”
His words reverberated through my mind. I’d spent
years trying to understand why my dad resented us. His
betrayal hurt the worst, the moment he’d first raised his
hands on me. It was like being propelled from a plane
without a parachute before you were ready. When I’d first
been pushed, I’d thrashed and yelled for help. My dad was
on the plane, and he was the one that had pushed me. He’d
watched me fall into a pit of despair. As I’d taken in my
surroundings, I’d found Annie alongside me. As the years
went on, Poppy had fallen too, and now Indigo.
I’d always been afraid of what would be at the bottom. I
think I’d hit the ground first when I’d seen my dad with his
new family. Every bone in my body had fragmented on
collision, but I’d felt nothing. My body had already been
comatose because I’d been anticipating the pain, the only
sister not clinging to hope as if it would crystallise into a
parachute and save me. Annie had fallen next, when I’d
told her. Seeing Beckham’s home made me apprehend what
I wanted, what we deserved. Although I was crying, it
furnished me with a new purpose. This was what we
deserved, and if our dad wasn’t going to give it to us, we’d
provide it for ourselves. I was going to find a new house
and we would leave our dad in the dust.
By the time Poppy and Indigo landed, Annie and I would
be there to catch them.
“I loved him,” I managed to get out after a few seconds
of Beckham just swaying with me. It felt good to say the
words out loud. I’d been stifling it for so long, disgusted
with myself because how could I love my abuser? But he
was my dad before he was my abuser. “I loved him so
much.”
My face scrunched in agony and I fought back heavy
sobs. Beckham kissed the top of my head and I could’ve
sworn his eyes were soaked with tears.
“I envy him because he had the absolute privilege of
being loved by you.” I held him tighter. “Because I’ve seen
what you’re willing to do for the people that you love. I’ve
seen the pain you’re willing to endure to help them.” He
swore softly. “Jesus, you risked everything when you
decided to help Nate; because you loved him, because you
loved your sister.”
My eyes felt blinded by flashbacks from last year. I saw
the team glowering at me whenever they saw me. They
didn’t know that I’d never chosen sides, not when I’d
wanted to help both. I’d wanted to save the Trojan boys
from their torment whilst saving Nate from his as well.
Sabotaging Nate had led to my family paying the price.
Richard Wyatt had used his position as a lawyer to sue me
for defamation after having found out I’d been ruining his
son’s reputation. So much money lost when we could’ve
escaped our dad already.
But like I’d told Beckham, I couldn’t hate myself for it. I
couldn’t hate myself when he’d gotten the captaincy and
Nate was free. Now that Annie was dating Beth, I couldn’t
even hate myself for what had happened between her and
Nate—she was happy now. Georgia was silently helping us,
and the girls were happy.
I glanced up at Beckham as he wiped the remaining
tears from my face. Maybe there was no longer a need for
hatred, for animosity. Maybe there was no reason for guilt.
And maybe this was the universe giving me a second
chance, one that I could finally take without worrying about
anybody else.
Maybe it was my turn to be selfish again; this time
without ruining everything.

OceanofPDF.com
“S econd-year sports management major,” Nyx
answered my mom after she gulped down the
portion of food she was eating. There were twin
stains of red on her cheeks, courtesy of the crying she’d
done previously. My parents didn’t question it and I had a
nagging impression they thought she was red because we’d
been doing something sexual. Not even close. As much as I
was aching to have Nyx in any way, she was hurting and
this wasn’t the time.
My dad’s brows nearly darted into his hairline at her
rejoinder and he looked at me with deep eyes. The man
looked like he stepped straight out of a caricature. All he
was missing were the exaggerated lines and features.
Desperate that Nyx didn’t see his reaction, I instantly shook
my head, and he glimpsed back at his food, disguising his
laugh with a cough. He’d heard about her before, but that
was back when I was completely obsessed with her. Then
that had changed to hatred. All that I’d ever done was
whine about her.
My mom had heard the same criticisms but apparently, a
woman’s mind worked differently so she had an entirely
separate view of Nyx compared to what I did. My parents
had heard everything there was to hear about Nyx Taylor.
My mom, seeing as she already knew who Nyx was,
maintained the conversation. “You sound like you know
what you want to do.”
Nyx turned even redder. For somebody who enjoyed
throwing her achievements around, she blushed a lot at the
mention of it.
“I’ve known what I wanted to do for a long time. It
wasn’t possible to risk not knowing. I had a deadline for
scholarships and college applications. If I picked wrong, it
wasn’t like I could redo the year. Hopefully, by the time I
graduate, I can get into sports PR management—”
“You’ll get in,” I appended, reaching for my glass. The
table went hushed and my dad was grinning. Nyx looked
befuddled, and I cursed under my breath. “I mean, you’ve
had a lot to do with the team in the past year or so. You’ve
attended every game and you wrote those awesome articles
on our matches in the school magazine—”
Her lips parted in astonishment. “You read those?”
Double fuck. She turned to my mom who was grinning too.
“I didn’t think anybody read those. My articles were always
too precise and detailed that they seemed a bore to read.”
Yet, I’d read every single one.
“That’s exactly the type of attitude you need in your
career choice,” my dad responded after clearing his throat.
“There’s no such thing as too detailed. If you always put
your best foot forward, nobody can ever doubt you. Take
Beck for example,” he said with a smirk, flinging me a look.
I tensed. “My boy wasn’t even the captain, yet they were
treating him like one—”
“Yes! You see because you showed you cared from the
very beginning,” my mom interjected excitedly. I sighed,
sharing a look of apology with Nyx. I was their only child so
they took any opportunity to gush over me. It happened all
the time, specifically at my mom’s club meetings. “I
remember they threw you a party after that one match,”
she proceeded, tapping her chin in reflection.
Nyx’s shoulders stiffened and I gaped at my mom,
silently telling her to shut up. The party had happened the
night of her birthday and I’d told her it was when I’d fucked
Avery Malcolm. We didn’t need to bring back those angry
thoughts of hers. We’d come a long way since that day.
“That’s so sweet of them,” Nyx muttered after shifting in
her seat. I knew I shouldn’t have told my mom what I’d said
in that closet with Nyx. She probably thought that I’d taken
long enough to explain myself.
So she was taking the reins. And she sealed my fate
when she spoke again. “It was, wasn’t it? Too bad he didn’t
go.”
I heard the tiny intake of breath. Nyx turned to me. “You
didn’t go?”
My mom was smiling but I glared at her. She stood up
unexpectedly, inviting my dad to help her carry the dessert
tray. The two of them vanished, leaving me with a frowning
Nyx. Her eyes were beseeching, wanting me to verify what
my mom had said. In the end, I nodded.
A glare appeared on her face. “You told me you fucked
Avery Malcolm that night at the party.”
A shrug was what I gave her. “I say a lot of things.” She
pinched my arm and I yelped, stroking over the red spot.
“What the fuck? I didn’t go to the party, okay?”
“Why not?” she pressed. “It was a party thrown in your
honour.”
I groaned. “Nyx, it was at a club. How the fuck was I
going to call you with all the commotion happening?” Her
lips parted in shock. “I stayed home so that I could call you
the second after midnight. Can we not talk about this?” I
asked, feeling my face heat up the longer she stared at me
with that delicate look in her eyes; a look reserved for
those she cared about.
 I’d missed an eight-hour party so that I could talk to her
for an hour on her birthday.
“What about Avery Malcolm?” she insisted, staring at
the plate in front of her.
I didn’t say anything, not wanting to confess that I’d lied
because she had hurt my pride. I felt a soft hand and
turned to feel her framing my jaw. In the blink of an eye,
she was out of her seat and on my lap, her arms sheathing
around my neck. And then she kissed me.
Her lips were silky against my own and I held the back
of her head, keeping her close. The kiss was gentle and
slow, something I wasn’t used to with Nyx, not for a long
time. When she pulled away, her forehead was against
mine.
“What was that for?” I whispered, squeezing her hip.
“For not fucking Avery Malcolm on my birthday,” she
expressed with a faint laugh, her words carrying only a
sliver of what she had tried to say through the kiss.
I grinned stupidly, helping her back into her seat when I
heard footsteps approaching. My mom entered the room,
carrying a peppermint tart, but the smile on her face told
me everything I needed to know. Nyx’s cheeks were red
with mortification, probably sensing my mom curbing her
cooing.
“I heard you’re helping this Coach Benson with the
matches?” my dad spoke as he sat down, placing a
chocolate cake in the middle of the table.
Nyx laughed, the soothing sound gliding through the
tense air. “I only gave him my notes, but I mainly plan the
events. The first time I tried to train them, one of the guys
hit on me instead of taking me seriously—”
“She broke Jai’s fingers,” I mused.
The memory brought a smile to my face. I’d never tell
her that, but watching her put Jai in his place had been a
major turn-on. In fact, everything she did was a turn on and
many of the guys would agree. Other than the fact that they
hadn’t trusted her in the beginning, the guys also hadn’t
wanted her around because how was somebody supposed
to concentrate with Nyx Taylor running around the rink?
“Sprained,” Nyx supplemented with an abashed smile.
She didn’t look too proud of her actions. The pleasure
had only been in her eyes for that few minutes after she’d
hurt Jai. But when I’d seen her tending to him, enveloping
his hand, I’d known she had felt distressed. Thinking back
now, after I knew what I did, she didn’t want to be like her
dad, to get her point across through brutality.
Melissa was a whole other story. That was revenge.
“And I helped him bandage it. He needed to be knocked
down a peg or two.”
My mom was laughing now, nearly suffocating. “Am I
correct in thinking that you’ve knocked quite a handful of
guys down some pegs?” She had no idea.
I used to think it was a sport of Nyx’s to embarrass the
guys around campus when they tried to make a fool out of
her. Even during the period when the team had been pissed
at her, she gave just as good as she received. And those
guys could be unmerciful, but Nyx had held her head high.
“Men,” my mom resumed, ready to offer her story. “This
one time back in high school this guy wanted to go down on
me—”
“That’s our cue to leave,” I stated, scrunching my face
as I stood up and carried some dishes into the kitchen.
Trust my mom to speak about her sexual history. She was
always too comfortable, but that wasn’t something I wanted
to hear anything about. Trying to quell the vomit clawing
up my throat, I practically ran away.
A few seconds later, my dad followed me, his eyes wide.
Woodenly, he placed his dishes on the counter, nearly
dropping his glass, and I laughed. As a cop, he was always
the most composed person in the room. But right now, he
looked completely ruffled and I had a sense he’d heard
something he wasn’t supposed to.
 “You okay there, Dad?” I questioned absentmindedly,
filling the sink with hot water.
He was nodding and then shook his head swiftly. “What
the fuck is a sixty-nine?”
“Shit!” I yelled when I stung my hand in the scorching
water, detecting laughter coming from the dining room.
Quickly running it under cold water, I veered to the
bewildered man. “Where did you hear that?”
Memories of a naked Nyx entered my mind and I nearly
dropped the cloth that I reached for. This was the worst
time to be reminded of what had happened between us.
“Your mother mentioned it just as I left. The way she
said it made me think she wants to try it soon—”
“Dad, please,” I pleaded, ready to throw up in the sink.
He wandered to the fridge and then gulped down a bottle
of water as I examined my hand. “I don’t want to hear
about that.”
Being an only child wasn’t the dream, as everyone
thought. I was constantly caught in the middle since my
parents didn’t have other kids to gossip with. But I wanted
to hear nothing about what went on in their bedroom.
My dad nodded to himself, looking a little traumatised. I
took the bottle from him and drank some water to pacify
the vomit that was screeching to be freed.
“So that’s her?” I stopped my actions and could hear the
grin in his voice. This man was up to something. He wasn’t
using his cop voice, but his character said enough. “I don’t
know what I was expecting, but it wasn’t a pixie-like
woman. With the way you spoke about her when you were
competing against Nate, she sounded like the devil
reincarnated.”
I began scouring the glass cups. “She’s hiding that side
of her,” I quipped, hearing Nyx giggle at something my
mom said. A weird sensation bloomed in my chest, the
same one I’d felt when she’d stepped out in that dress.
More than anything, I’d wanted to kiss her, right then and
there. But I’d been stopped by the knowledge of something
always on my mind. “I hurt her.”
He frowned. “Beck, I’m sure—”
“Dad,” I cut him off, sending him a bitter smile. “Trust
me. I hurt her, probably way more than how I was hurting. I
walked away when she probably needed me the most, all
because I was fucking jealous. She hated me because of it.”
The shit I’d put her through, I didn’t deserve
forgiveness. She’d been going through one of the gravest
times in her life and I’d made it infinitely worse by being an
absolute dick for no reason. She was being abused and I’d
added bullying into the mix.
“You know what I did. The rumour—”
“Wasn’t your fault,” he concluded my sentence, pitching
against the counter. “Stop blaming yourself. You were the
only member to speak to her other than Nate. And he was
gone. So who was the next best source? People will only
believe the rumour if it came from somebody trusted. That
was you.”
I’d heard that before when I had initially told him about
the latest rumour suddenly circulating campus with my
name fastened to it.
I groaned, feeling my throat close. “She didn’t deserve
any of that. Remember when I said she turned her back on
us?” He nodded. My throat throbbed with the words I
didn’t want to speak, words that had been playing on my
mind on a loop.
“Beck, what is it?” he inquired, voice communicating his
concern.
“Dad, she didn’t turn her back on us. In fact, she
sabotaged Nate to boost my chances of getting the
captaincy,” I told him, leaving out the part where she’d
needed to help Nate as well. “And I feel like shit because of
it. I could’ve stopped the team from bullying her because I
was the captain but I didn’t.” I planted my hands on the
sink and took in a thick breath. “I don’t even know why
she’s here. She could’ve said no. There’s no reason for her
to be nice to me after everything I put her through.”
My dad was soundless for a minute. “I hate to be the one
to tell you this but I told you so.” I glowered at him because
I didn’t need a lecture. I’d gotten many from my mom
already. “I told you not to do anything stupid and just focus
on saving your team.” I cursed quietly. “You won, you had
the captaincy but you made things worse by practically
bullying that girl inside and stressing over Nate. You won.”
I shook my head before whispering, “I didn’t.” He
crossed his arms, gesticulating for me to speak louder. My
words came out more potent the next time, tired of being
kept quiet for so long. “I didn’t win.”
His eyes hooded. “You had the captaincy—”
“But I thought he had her,” I choked out, closing my
eyes momentarily. There was a rigid silence, one that
scraped its talons on every inch of my skin. “Shit,” I spoke
after I understood this was his plan all along; to admit what
I couldn’t last year when I’d first found out Nyx was
helping Nate. “Did mom put you up to this?”
He shrugged, grinning, and I wanted to dig a hole and
die in it. “I always knew there was something else to it.
First, you were okay with me paying for the position and
you didn’t care about what people said, not at all.” I
bridled. “Then suddenly you’re ready to compete for the
position like a lion that hasn’t been fed in years. Tell me
why.” I scowled. “It’s because of her, isn’t it?”
“Fuck off,” I snarled, prompting him to chuckle heartily.
“You know how I felt about her.”
My dad nodded, a little smile on his face. “Yeah, I do. I
also know that seeing your girl aiding your enemy is
enough to light a fire under your ass. You fought so hard
because she was on the opposing side.” He gave me one
last look. “It’s obvious why she did that.” I frowned, brows
crimping. “She knew you’d fight for her.”
 And I had. I’d fought for her under the pretence that it
was all for the captaincy. But my pride had been wounded
and I’d walked away. Not this time though. This time, she
was going to know deep in her bones that she was mine
and only mine.

The ride back to her place was stiff, making me wonder

what she and my mom had spoken about. Nyx had been
fine, up until my mom had inquired if she could get a
moment alone with her before we left. I knew I should’ve
objected and insisted we get going. Because now Nyx was
being awkward as fuck. That behaviour carried straight
into Saturday.
It was currently just past midnight and all the Taylor
girls were staying with us. We’d obtained tickets to Indigo’s
recital; we being me, Grayson and Sebastian. Later in the
day, we’d leave straight from our place as it made things
easier. Instead of meeting at the auditorium, we could all
leave together. The plan was good, but the only one who
had a problem with it was Nyx.
And I knew my mom had something to do with it. I just
knew it.
Grayson and Sebastian were dispersed around the living
room, attention on the horror film playing in front of them.
Sebastian was sprawled out on the fluffy carpet, blonde
hair slovenly from twisting around in his blankets. Grayson
was in an armchair, hands resting behind his head and
eyeing the movie in amusement. If you asked me what was
happening in the movie, I wouldn’t be able to tell you
because I’d been lost in my thoughts the entire time. I kept
thinking of my conversation with my dad and trying not the
think of the fact that Nyx was upstairs in a spare bedroom.
 I was so close to giving in to her fucking hypothesis
because it had been hell trying to stifle what I was feeling. I
could understand why she wanted it to go away because it
was bothersome as fuck. Every single time she walked into
a room, it was like my entire body wanted to surge for her.
“Nyx?” The voice belonged to Grayson. I snapped out of
my daze and saw both Sebastian and Grayson looking at
the blonde girl who materialised as if she knew I was
thinking about her. “You okay? You look a little hot.”
Pressing her hands to her face, she probably felt that
the skin was on fire. Sebastian turned back to the movie
when a woman’s scream tore his attention from Nyx.
My gaze hauled across her body, taking in her boy shorts
and tank top. She held her breath when my eyes stopped
on her nipples. Then my lips tilted into a delighted smirk. I
knew exactly what she was going through. Because I was
going through the same thing. It was why I was attempting
to watch a movie with the guys. Each time I closed my
eyes, I saw her.
“I’m fine,” she said after clearing her throat. She didn’t
even realise she was staring at me; intensely. Sebastian
glanced between me and Nyx with a smirk before he turned
back to the movie again. He was enjoying seeing Nyx
ruffled because she was still giving him a hard time for
being an asshole at the last match. Grayson was still
worried, pushing to his feet and stepping towards her. My
smirk dropped.
“I’m just thirsty, Grayson.” Sebastian snorted at her
words and so did I.
“Do you want me to get you a glass of water?” Grayson
proposed, holding out his hand.
Okay, he was genuinely a friendly person. But his voice
was higher than usual and when Sebastian laughed, I knew
he was up to something.
I stood up, cracking my neck which was numb from
sitting in one position for so long. “Sit your ass down,
Gray,” I told him as I walked towards Nyx. “She’s my guest,
so that means I have to take care of her.” Sebastian choked
at that and Nyx crimsoned.
Grayson stared at me, grinning. He sighed and was
about to pull Nyx in for a hug but I scowled at him. There
was a firm silence. And then Grayson chuckled before
taking his original seat. Turning on her heel, Nyx entered
the kitchen and I followed behind.
“I can get a glass of water myself,” she muttered,
probably not liking the fact that she was alone with me.
Ever since Friday evening, she’d been doing her best to
dodge me. “You don’t need to take care of me.”
She sounded annoyed and restless. It looked like she
was having some sort of withdrawal symptoms, but I knew
she didn’t do drugs. The answer was obvious. She was
horny.
I apprehended then what Grayson had intended. He’d
noticed she’d been avoiding me and the thing he constantly
preached about was communication. He knew I wouldn’t
let him be alone with her when she was wearing that outfit.
He knew I would stand up. The fucker gave me a chance to
be alone with her.
Too bad talking wasn’t in either of our plans.
I sagged against the opposite counter, watching as she
opened the fridge and poured herself a glass. My mom
must’ve told her something hair-raising if it caused her to
disregard her need and try to elude me. I’d thought we
were past the avoiding stage. But my mom had just taken
us back a few steps.
Just as Nyx took a sip of her water, I said, “You’re wet.”
It was a statement. One that made her choke on her water
and begin coughing.
Water spilt onto her top and she glared at me, words
dripping with frustration. “Well, now I am,” she hissed,
dabbing at the front of her top. “Thanks to you.”
 In a fluid movement, I was in front of her, backing her
against the counter. The smell of strawberries hit me, her
usual smell. The conversation with my dad had made me
recognise that I wanted her even more than before.
Because I always had. She’d just never been properly
within my reach, something always keeping us apart.
Whether it was Nate or her trust issues, I could never
reach her.
And now I could.
“I’m talking about your pussy,” I hummed, grazing my
nose against the side of her jaw before nipping her ear.
“Thanks to me?” She stayed quiet. “Answer me, Nyx.”
“You’re quite full of yourself, aren’t you?” Her voice
came out unstable because I began suckling at her throat,
leaving marks. Marks that everyone would see.
More gunshots rang throughout the house, louder than
before. I had a feeling the guys knew exactly what was
going on in the kitchen and put the TV louder.
I mumbled against her skin, making her hiss. “Just say
the words and you can be full of me too.” Because I was
ready to give in to that hypothesis. She let out an
instinctive moan and quickly clamped a hand over her
mouth. I chuckled, trailing kisses all the way from her neck
to her mouth. “You said I don’t need to take care of you. Is
that true?” She nodded and I stared her dead in the eye.
Unyielding Nyx was back. “So you don’t want me to take
care of you? Don’t want me to relieve you of that ache?”
Nyx quaked when I cupped her over her shorts. She
couldn’t deny the magnetism between us, couldn’t contain
it as much as she wanted to. “There’s no ache.” Her tone
was chiding. Abruptly, I slipped my hand into her pants,
sliding my fingers through her folds. This time, her words
came out as a moan and I smirked. “Beck.”
“I’m right here,” I whispered, gently playing with her
clit. “Your pussy’s so soft and warm.” I plunged a finger
inside her, making her grip my shoulders with everything
that she had. “And wet.” Another finger. “Who made you
wet, Nyx? Tell me.”
I scissored my fingers and her legs began quivering. I
could hear the squelching sound my hand made, how wet
she was. She must’ve had a wonderful dream.
“You,” she managed to say through clenched teeth,
shuddering when I began moving my hand faster. I
wondered how much it took for her to say the words.
“Always you.”
That made the feeling inside my chest fracture. The
desperation in her voice nearly made my knees buckle.
“Good girl,” I murmured. And then I towed down her
shorts and panties before placing her on the edge of the
counter. Nyx barely had a chance to blink before I was
down on my knees, face concealed between her legs. Fuck.
She moaned and jerked at my hair as I ate her pussy. She
pulled me closer, clamping her thighs around my head. “My
baby tastes so good.” My words were a growl, sending
vibrations through her entire body. She was trying her best
to not make any sounds, afraid that the guys would hear.
Her body began trembling, hinting that she was about to
reach her climax. It was clear she was ready for it, aching
for it. But then I pulled away.
“What the—” I shoved two fingers back inside her,
moving in and out at a furious pace. “I want you to come all
over my fingers.” She moaned, biting into my shoulder to
deaden the sound as she jerked.
“Shit, Beck,” Nyx groaned as her back arched, pressing
her face into my neck. She tugged at my hair, my fingers
burying deeper inside of her. I used my thumb to flick her
nub, hearing her whimper against me. “Oh, god, yes.”
“Do you wanna come?” She nodded, tears pooling in her
eyes. “Come for me, baby.”
And she let go, crashing into her release. My hand never
stopped moving, riding her through the wave. She sagged
against me as my free hand rubbed her back. The other
pulled out of her and she watched me lick my fingers clean.
“That’s disgusting.”
A loud laugh left my lips before I pressed my mouth to
hers. “I was eating your pussy a few seconds ago and you
think me licking your taste off my fingers is disgusting?”
She shrugged, nuzzling her face into my neck. “You tired,
baby?” She nodded. “Let’s get you to bed.”
I pulled her pants up and instead of carrying her back to
the room she was staying in; I took her to mine. She didn’t
protest, just let me place her on the bed. Before I could
move away, she tugged me to her. And then her mouth was
on mine. She dipped her head, prompting our tongues to
graze against each other. Her hands moved to take off my
shirt, wandering the skin that she found. A deep noise left
my throat and I dragged her against me. I cupped her
breasts as she whined into my mouth.
“I need this to go away,” she muttered against my lips,
drawing me closer even though I was already pressed
against her. “This constant feeling of wanting you. I hate
it.” I knew exactly what she was talking about. “Maybe it’s
only here because we have a history? And if we just take
care of it—”
“What if it doesn’t go away?” I uttered the issue that had
been troubling me and she froze, hands caught in my hair.
The question had been hovering in the air for quite some
time and both of us were too afraid to reach for it. “What if
we have sex and this feeling doesn’t go away?”
Nyx beamed, nodding to herself and beginning to play
with my hair again. She didn’t sound too terrified, not like
I’d expected. In fact, she approached the question with
familiarity. I needed to have a talk with my mom because,
knowing her, she’d asked Nyx if we were sexually involved.
“It’s a hypothesis for a reason. There’s a chance that I
could be wrong.”
 She didn’t proceed, although it was apparent there was
more to say. If her hypothesis was incorrect, then we were
just two people who craved each other even after all this
time. And Nyx didn’t know what to do with information like
that. Because it scared her, just like it had the first time.
Tilting back, I stated, “After the recital.” She pulled a
perplexed expression. “After the recital, you and I are
having sex.” She wrinkled her nose, stunned that I was
giving in.
“And if the feeling doesn’t go away?” she demanded
after thinking it through.
I smirked, pulling her towards me again. “Then, you’re
mine.”

OceanofPDF.com
“O kay, nobody’s here right now,” I muttered, shoving
and twisting the key. The door wouldn’t open and I
was beginning to get annoyed. “Fuck this bitch ass
door—”
Beckham took the key from me with a laugh, easily
opening the door and I sighed in aggravation. “I guess I’m
just experienced in inserting things.”
I frowned at him, a little startled. “Refer to vaginas as
keyholes again and I will murder you.”
He laughed harder, following me inside. We had a
limited amount of time together. After Indigo’s recital,
everyone had gone back to his place for dinner, dinner that
Beckham and I were tasked with ordering and picking up.
Surprisingly, the guys had had a great time at the recital
and I wouldn’t tell them, but I was glad they’d attended.
Indigo had needed everyone there. Everywhere she’d
looked, she’d seen families clustering around her friends.
She’d seen enthusiastic dads tossing their daughters into
the air as they squealed. She’d seen emotional mothers
crying and fawning over their daughters. I knew it would
unnerve her. It always did. The same thoughts had ran
through my head during high school, when my parents
hadn’t attended my debate competitions or when I’d given
speeches. Surrounded by all those people, I’d never felt so
alone before. And I didn’t want Indigo to feel like that. She
was too young, too pure.
I’d told myself I wouldn’t cry. I’d promised myself I
wouldn’t cry. But the moment Indigo had stepped onto the
stage looking like a baby swan, there was no holding back
the tears. The fall had been gradual, slow streams running
down my probably red cheeks, and every few seconds, I
would reach up to wipe it away. I’d done better than Annie,
who had tried her best to stop her ugly crying. Indigo was
perfection and I wanted her to always know that. I’d
cheered when she’d done five consecutive pirouettes after
she’d been struggling with it for a few days.
“That’s my sister!” Poppy had roared, nearly leaping out
of her seat and Beckham had had to pull her back. Indigo
had been laughing, skipping to the front before dropping
into a middle split and then rolling into a backbend.
The tears had returned again when I’d seen her gigantic
grin as she twirled and the audience applauded. Just
earlier, in the dressing room, she’d gotten cold feet. And
there she was, enjoying every second of her solo. When the
final timbre of the piano had died down, we’d been up on
our feet, screaming her name and Indigo had been crying,
trying to laugh through her tears.
She’d had a family there to support her.
Even Georgia had been there with Julie. I’d done my
best not to behave awkwardly, trusting Annie when she’d
said she had everything under control. Georgia had given
me an understanding smile and an encouraging pat on the
shoulder. I just needed to figure out when I could talk to
her.
For now, sex.
“Did you order the food?” I demanded, placing the keys
down on the table.
 Beckham nodded, taking off his jacket. “Yep, we’ve got
forty minutes.” I checked each room, making sure that my
dad wasn’t home. We didn’t need him walking in on me
having sex with the son of a cop. “You know, I don’t think
normal people plan when to have sex.”
“This was your idea,” I riposted, starting to rethink the
normalcy of this plan. “The hypothesis was mine.” Beckham
was sitting on the couch now, looking all too comfortable.
Why wasn’t he nervous? Because I was nervous as fuck.
I’d always said I would never admit it, but Beckham was
handsome. His hair was just the right length, always falling
messily on his head. His eyes were the shade of a raging
storm and fuck, I wouldn’t even dare go down the path of
the tattoos.
A throat cleared and I glanced at him. My cheeks
flushed because I’d been fucking gawking at him like an
idiot.
“You look a little tense.” The teasing in his voice was
unmistakable whereas the smirk looked permanently
engraved into his stupid face.
I shrugged. “Tense? I’m not tense.”
What the fuck was wrong with me? Okay, this was
Beckham. Good old asshole of a man, Beckham. And as
soon as this desire for him went away, we could coexist
peacefully. No more unnecessary hatred and no more
unneeded attraction.
My chest constricted, making it feel as if I was about to
have a stroke. Beckham stood up and walked towards me,
making me back into the counter. I felt like prey. I was
usually the fucking predator. He caged me against the
counter and I held my breath.
“Breathe, baby.” Slowly, I let out a breath, causing him
to chuckle low at my apprehension. I took in another deep
breath because this was just Beckham. There was no need
to be nervous. We’d done this before. “There you go, deep
breaths.” My body felt lighter with each exhalation. “Good
girl.”
His lips grazed the shell of my ear as he spoke. I stopped
breathing again. How did he expect me to inhale and
exhale when he did shit like that? I quivered when his teeth
skimmed my ear.
“You’re an asshole,” I whispered.
He moved lower, caressing my neck. “I think I should
put that on my resume because you keep saying that.” I
clutched his shoulders when my body sagged as he nipped
the skin of my neck before sucking it into his mouth. “One
word,” he murmured, kissing my jaw. “One word will
determine how we spend the next forty minutes. Do you
want this?”
“Just shut the fuck up and kiss me.”
“That wasn’t one word,” he said with a taunting grin.
“Yes or no?”
I glared at him. “Yes.”
“Good girl.” And then his lips met mine. His arms went
around me, tugging me closer. I moaned against his mouth,
pulling at his silky hair. He bit down on my lip and I
moaned again. “I’m sick of you pretending that you don’t
want me.”
He lifted me onto the counter and I smiled. “The same
goes for you.” Pitching forward, he kissed me again, tongue
traversing every inch of my mouth and I sighed, breathing
heavily through my nose. Beckham moved back down to my
neck where he’d left the original mark and began sucking
again. “Beck.”
“I’m right here,” he whispered as he bit me again. There
was so much substance to the way he said it, that he was
with me. “I don’t think I’ll be able to stop.” His eyes were
flaring and I could hear the need dripping from his voice.
We were in the same boat.
So I said, “Then fucking don’t.”
 He picked me up and then stepped over to the couch,
sitting down. Our kiss was messy, a disorder of tongues and
teeth but I didn’t want it to stop. He kissed me like he was
chasing after his last breath. I began rubbing against his
thighs. All that separated me from him were my panties
and his jeans. My skirt was bunched up around my waist.
“That’s it, baby,” he grumbled, squeezing my hips as he
kissed my neck. “Get yourself nice and ready for me.”
I seized his shoulders, moving against him and whining
when he stroked his thumb over my nipples. His fingers
then moved up my thighs, playing with the band of my
underwear. I moaned, hearing him chuckle at my
desperation. I could feel the wetness pooling between my
legs and I was on the verge of begging.
“Please, Beck. I need you. Now.”
He merely moved my hips again, grinding me over the
bulge in his jeans. “Yeah?”
When I scowled, he chuckled again and stood up. I
resorted to kissing his jaw as he carried me through the
hallway to where he remembered my room was. He placed
me down on one bed, having to unwrap my arms and legs
from him because I wouldn’t let go.
When he stepped back to pull off his shirt, I found
myself saying, “I never dated Nate.”
Although it went without saying, it felt right to state it.
Beckham froze, his shirt partially over his head. Slowly,
he towed it over and then flung it to the floor, staring
intensely at me. He gulped. “What?”
I attempted a smile, panting. “There was never anything
between me and Nate. He was dating Annie.” He was still
staring at me as if I suddenly transformed into an alien.
“Based on what you know, it’s obvious there was only ever
familial love between Nate and me, but I just wanted to
clarify. I didn’t want that hanging over your head,” I
confessed, a lump suddenly in my throat. “You always said
you wouldn’t take Nate’s sloppy seconds—”
 “I—”
“But he’s never had me,” I stated and saw his entire
body tense. I had no idea what was going through his head
but I needed to get this off my chest.
Just as I was about to get up and lock myself in the
bathroom for being an absolute fucking idiot, he spoke. “I
never fucked Melissa.” I blinked. “She came over with
Sebastian, made a move on me and fell asleep in my bed. I
slept on my couch.” He cleared his throat, looking slightly
guilty. “And when I kissed her at the club, it was because I
hoped that if she thought she had the upper hand on you,
even just for a moment, she’d leave you the fuck alone. Not
my best moment at all.”
I couldn’t hold it against him; that he’d kissed her. I’d
basically eaten Jasper’s face off that night.
I grinned. “This communication thing isn’t too bad, I
guess.” And then I tugged off my panties and skirt, and
kicked off my shoes before leaning back on my elbows.
“Now let’s do this—”
I slumped back against the bed as he hovered over me,
lips pressed to my neck as his hand hunted down my leg.
His nose skimmed my cheek and I shuddered. When his
fingers found my clit, I moaned loudly.
“I need to be between your legs,” he murmured, moving
lower down my body until his face was between my thighs.
I sat up slightly to remove my sweater and unclip my bra.
Whatever he saw there made his eyes darken with lust, a
groan of appreciation leaving him. His tongue slid through
my folds and I sank back again, back arching. “So sweet,”
he grumbled against me.
A second later, he slipped two fingers inside me and
began pumping. It felt like all the air left the room because
I couldn’t breathe. All the teasing caught up with me. The
kissing, the grinding.
“Shit,” I hissed.
“Come on, baby. Be a good girl and come for me.”
 My fingers found his hair and I gripped it harshly as my
back arched again. “Shit, Beck. I’m gonna come—”
Pleasure slammed into me like a truck and it felt like I
was fucking floating. My eyes shut when my vision became
blurry. Beckham stood up and hovered over me again,
kissing me.
I bit his lip and he grunted. “Fucking minx.” I wrapped
my arms around him, holding him close. My body was still
reeling with the effects of my orgasm.
“Beckham,” I whispered, nipping his lip again.
He smiled against my mouth, unbuttoning his jeans and
kicking off his shoes. I made the task difficult with my
grinding against him and he chuckled. I whined when he
pushed away from me and dug into his wallet for a condom.
It was finally happening. I watched him slide it over himself
whilst holding eye contact with me.
This was fucking happening.
I leaned back as he walked towards me and breathed
deeply. A second later, he was between my legs. “You
ready?” he questioned softly, brushing my hair out of my
face. I nodded. He gripped the base of his cock, dragging it
through my wetness. “Fucking hell,” he groaned, jerking
slightly so he could press against me.
My nails burrowed into his shoulders as he gradually
pushed into me. He paused when I hissed. The idiot was
big. I mean, I knew that. I’d had his dick inside me before.
But that felt like forever ago. He forced my lips apart,
burrowing deeper until he bottomed out completely.
“Oh my god,” I moaned, arching slightly. He held me in
place, hands gripping my waist as he began thrusting.
“Holy—”
“Fuck,” he hissed, my body rocking against his as he
swivelled his hips and a silent scream left me. The arch of
my back left the bed completely when he hit a particularly
good spot. Tears were pooling in my eyes and I whimpered,
reaching for his shoulders. “That feel good, baby?” I
nodded, unable to form any coherent words. He jolted his
hips forward and my breath left me in a choked moan.
“Easy, sweetheart, that’s it.”
My hands met the sheets, gripping them between my
fingers. “Please, don’t stop.”
I was being stretched in the best way possible. He
leaned down, lips meeting mine in a breathless kiss. I
circled my hips against him, hearing him groan. The kiss
was scorching hot and I felt him grinding against my clit. I
wanted more because it felt like he was doing everything.
And I wasn’t one to be outmatched. Tapping his shoulder, I
forced him to turn over so I could straddle him.
Beckham smirked at me as he pushed back against the
headboard. I sank lower, feeling the head of his dick slip
inside me. The pain was short-lived, being supplanted by an
extraordinary wave of pleasure. My knees buckled and I
gasped, burying my face in the crook of his neck as I
lowered myself completely. The stretch stung, making it
feel as if I was about to be split in half.
An animalistic groan left Beckham and his hands were
clutching the flesh of my ass. “Jesus, fuck,” he groaned,
circling his hips, and I moaned. “You’re taking me so well.”
He was so deep inside me that it felt impossible. The
feeling was overwhelming; being filled to the brim. Bliss
poured out of my moan as Beckham pushed me against
him. I was frozen, trying to stabilise my mind. “Move,
baby.”
His voice was muffled, pinched. Setting my arms on his
shoulders, I raised myself slightly, eyes trained on his. But
Beckham wasn’t looking at me. He was looking at where
we were connected, his cock gradually sliding out of me.
With another groan, he gripped my hips and slammed me
back down on him.
I whimpered, eyes clenching shut. “Beck,” I moaned,
rolling my hips slightly before replicating the process. It
was a continual sound of flesh against flesh. The slapping
sound resonated through the small room, drowned out only
by Beckham’s rumbling grunts and my moans. “Fuck, that’s
so deep.”
“Just like that, Nyx,” he praised, prompting me to move
faster. My legs felt paralysed by the pleasure rushing
through my veins. “There you go—fuck,” he cursed when I
involuntarily tensed around him. My mouth was parted,
moans emerging as Beckham and I moved in sync with one
another.
My hands roamed up his broad shoulders, shifting to cup
his face. His stubble was scratchy, providing a ticklish
sensation against my skin. I placed my forehead against
his, palpitating with the effort of riding him.
“Shit,” I whined when he elevated his knees, hitting a
deeper spot within me. Beckham was gazing at me, eyes
cleared of its natural storm. All that greeted me now was
pure silver. “That feels so good.”
He slapped my ass, smirking when I squealed at the
unexpected move. “Who would’ve thought Nyx Taylor could
ride a man this good?” he inquired in a low tone, groaning
when I clenched around him again.
I sighed, tossing my head back. My voice was breathless
when I remarked, “I’m just full of surprises.”
Beckham’s thumb found my clit and I jolted. He stared
at it as he stroked furiously. “You’re full of something,
alright.” I didn’t have the energy to call him out on the
pride in his tone so I let it slide. I’d never felt so utterly
intoxicated before. In one fluid move, Beckham flipped me
over, placing himself between my legs.
His restraint snapped as he slammed into me at a
merciless pace. My senses felt stripped from me. My ears
were buzzing and I could barely see through the pleasure
of it all. Beckham was pressed so tightly against me, I
didn’t know where I ended and he began. I locked my legs
around his hips, pulling him closer even though there was
no more space between us.
 His abs stroked my stomach with each move and the
hair on his chest tantalised my peaked nipples. I was past
the point of pleasure now, plunging straight off the cliff of
overstimulation. I was high on my own personal drug, a
drug that’d I’d been abstaining from for so long.
Until now.
All that was leaving my mouth was his name, like a
breathless chant. The words leapt from my lips, gliding
through the tense air. There was a tightening sensation
from deep within me and I willed it to go away. I didn’t
want this feeling to end, this feeling of fullness.
“Beckham.” His name was the only thing I knew. It was
just me and him, rutting like animals on my bed. His skin
was moistened with sweat and so was mine. I yanked at his
hair, pulling a deep growl from the back of his throat.
His hands slipped underneath me, cupping my ass and
heaving me against him. I nearly passed out at the feeling.
“That’s it, baby. Move with me.” His voice was hoarse,
like pure gravel. There would surely be bruises on my
thighs because of the way he was gripping me. His palms
suffocated my ass, gripping it as if it was his salvation.
“Nyx,” he groaned into my neck and I bit my lip. “Are you
gonna come for me?” I was so close to sobbing.
The sensation in my stomach unwound and I shook my
head, not wanting it to end. “No, Beck—”
He pulled back, gazing down at me with lust-filled eyes.
His pace intensified and I cried out. “Come for me, Nyx.” I
shook my head, making him growl. “Do it.” I gave in,
moaning uncontrollably as I squirmed underneath him. My
orgasm viciously crashed into me and I could barely hear
the scream that left me. Pleasure wept from my every pore,
every nerve. “That’s my girl.”
My eyes snapped to his, something building in my chest
as my nails scraped down his back. It was a feeling I tried
to suppress. “Who said I’m your girl?” I asked breathlessly,
air returning to my lungs.
 He flexed his hips, emphasising that he hadn’t orgasmed
yet and was still filling me up. “Whose cock is inside you
right now?”
I scoffed jokingly. “That question’s irrelevant. I could
easily replace it with somebody else’s dick tomorrow.”
Beckham’s hand shot to my throat. I froze but the smirk
was still etched into my mouth. His nostrils flared, sensing
the amusement I was radiating. With his other hand, he
pulled out of me, leaving me empty as he dragged the head
across my overstimulated clit. I suppressed a whimper.
“Maybe I should just leave my mark,” he whispered,
kissing my jaw. “Brand you so that others know to stay the
fuck away.” He hissed as the head of his cock penetrated
me again.
I seized the sheets in my hands as he pumped slowly. I
couldn’t even respond to his previous words as my eyes
rolled to the back of my head, body arching to fit against
his like two puzzle pieces. Beckham didn’t hold back at all,
relentlessly grinding against me. My limbs felt like jelly but
I kept my ankles secured behind him, reluctant to let him
go. His mouth found mine, tongue slipping inside and
exploring to its heart’s content.
The intimate feeling emerged inside me. I scratched his
back, marking the skin with my nails, and he swore loudly,
pulling my bottom lip between his teeth.
“You’re gonna come again, Nyx,” he grunted against my
lips. Beckham ploughed into me at a pitiless pace, making
me chase after another orgasm. “Again,” he grunted.
“Come for me.” When my pleasure hit me, I fell into the
void of flames, branding and consuming my body in sheer
euphoria. Beckham’s body tensed and then I felt his cock
pulsate with his release. “Fuck, baby, that’s it. Just like
that.” His deep moans filled the air and I nearly cried at the
feeling hastening through me. “Shit.” He groaned against
me, moaning with his release.
 He collapsed on top of me, nearly cutting off my air
supply. But I didn’t mind, binding my arms around him and
stroking his back as he panted heavily into my neck. I felt
the indents of my nails and I smirked. He wasn’t the only
one who’d left marks. His teammates would surely question
him in the locker room and I could just laugh at the thought
of his response
“I can feel your satisfaction, you little minx,” he
grumbled, flexing his back muscles, and I snorted. “If
anybody asks, I can just say that I had some fun with a
puck bunny.” My smile dropped and he raised his head,
grinning tiredly at me. “Not so fun, is it?”
I scowled, shoving his shoulders and he chuckled. He
pulled out of me as he rolled over, making me whine at the
feeling of emptiness. He stood up to dispose of the condom
and I watched his ass. The man was so fucking lean and
every bit of him was sculpted to perfection. The tattoos on
his arms danced with every movement and when he turned
around, showcasing his magnificent length, I was suddenly
ready to take him again.
The thought alarmed me. This was supposed to
eliminate the tension between us, put a stop to it. But that
feeling was still there, concealed deep inside me. I felt my
heart rate spike, anxiety filling my lungs like water. If
anything, that feeling amplified.
I wanted him more than before, I couldn’t deny that.
Selfish. I was willing to be selfish again and take something
for myself now that there were no consequences. The
fearful part of me, the girl scared of being hurt again had
hidden behind my dumb hypothesis. If this feeling was to
go away, it wasn’t a good idea to go back to Beckham.
But this feeling was still very much present, the
intensity of it suffocating me.
When I glanced up, Beckham was staring at me as he
slipped on his boxers, understanding in his eyes. “Beck—”
 “I’m gonna go pick up our food,” he cut me off, pulling
on his jeans next. I took in a deep breath, trying to calm
down. His phone began vibrating and I knew our order was
ready. Once he pulled his shirt on, he stepped closer to the
bed where I sat, still naked as the day I was born. “When I
get back, we’re gonna talk about it. Sebastian can fucking
wait for his food.”
Talk about it.
That terrified the shit out of me. There was nothing to
talk about. Except, maybe the fact that I wanted to yank
him by the shirt and smash my mouth to his. He must’ve
read my mind because his hand slipped to my nape, albeit
gently, and kissed me. I moaned, trying to pull him closer,
but he stepped back, smiling. He looked as baffled as me,
which helped nothing.
His leaving so soon after we’d just fucked probably
looked bad. But I understood the message clearly. He was
giving me space, time to come to terms with what I was
feeling. I’d expected the annoyance to come back full force
once the desire was out of the way. But the barrier between
us was dwindling, hanging on by a thread.
And Beckham knew that. He laced his shoes, grabbing
the car keys on his way out. When the front door shut, I let
out a frustrated scream.
The point of sleeping with Beckham again was to relieve
the ache, but now that fucking ache was the size of Mount
Kilimanjaro and the only fucker who could climb it was that
arrogant asshole. I’d been lying to myself all this time,
fooled myself into thinking I didn’t care about him, that I
hated him. But one could easily mistake hatred for
something else. A feeling could only intensify if it was
already there.
I loved Beckham Hunt.
There was no way to pinpoint when it had happened, but
the fact stayed the same. This was bad. This was so fucking
bad. Of course I loved him. It was the only plausible reason
as to why he scared me so much. The knowledge was
always there, buried deep inside and I’d been too much of a
coward to acknowledge it. This was bad. There was nothing
stopping me from being with him now, except maybe the
toe-curling fear of him leaving again, of giving my absolute
everything to somebody who wouldn’t treasure it. Trauma
was a bitch. Beckham could leave when it became too
much. He could leave at the slightest misunderstanding.
That would hurt less than him not returning my feelings.
Oh my God.
My face felt feverish and sweaty. I stood up, slipping into
clean underwear and clothes again. I washed my face, but
the redness stayed, the bruises on my neck stayed. Fuck.
He wasn’t exaggerating when he’d said he’d leave a mark.
Five minutes later, my phone dinged. I had a message from
Annie that said we should pick up an extra burger because
Julie was staying with us. The second message came
through from Beckham and my heart fluttered.
Just so we’re clear, your hypothesis was bullshit. You’re
mine.
I shuddered, plopping onto the edge of my bed as I
thought things through. He had the potential to break me
and he didn’t even know it. The thought terrified me. I
must’ve sat there for about ten minutes when there was a
hasty knock on the door. Frowning, I stood up and headed
to the living room. We never received visitors and
everybody we knew, knew that we were at Beckham’s
place.
My dad had probably forgotten his key, the dumbass.
There was a dull ache between my legs and I slanted
against the wall as I opened the door. Georgia was on the
other side.
“Nyx?” she greeted me in surprise and I frowned,
wondering why she was at the house. She knew we were
celebrating at the boys’ place, she’d dropped Julie there.
 Which meant she wasn’t at the house to see any of us.
“What are you doing here?” I questioned, eyes narrowing.
She glimpsed around uneasily, checking for intrusive
neighbours. I heeded her gaze, knowing what this
neighbourhood was like, primarily when it came to my
family. Everybody wanted to know what happened in the
Taylor household.
“Come inside,” I advised, allowing her to slip past me.
Georgia scrunched her nose. “It smells like sex in here.”
I pursed my lips, but she’d already spotted my subtle limp.
A loud cackle ricocheted through the air, courtesy of her.
“Ah, I see. No wonder you’re home.”
I winced as I took a seat and ignored her smile. “Why
are you here?”
“To see your dad,” was her straightforward comeback
and I scowled at the mention of him. “I’m gonna assume
you know I’m a social worker,” she broke the ice, taking a
seat at the counter. “It’s gotta be the reason you looked so
peeved by me during the recital like I was suddenly an
outsider. But I want you to know, Nyx, I’m always gonna be
on your side.”
My mouth was parched and the words felt rough. “Annie
says my mom left you to help us. Is that true?” It was
difficult to imagine my mom wanting to help when all I
could remember was her leaving.
Judging by the way Georgia was staring at me, I could
tell she was glad she ran into me. She nodded, giving me a
commiserating smile. “Your mom and I go way back, fell
out of touch after high school but reunited about two
months ago.” Her brown eyes clouded with memories and I
found myself wanting to know everything about their
relationship, everything about who my mom was before she
became a shell of herself. “A group of friends and I opened
a private practice, and a while back, I got a call from your
mom. She told me she was in rehab and read about the
opening of my practice in the newspaper. There was no
beating around the bush, she asked me to visit her and
when I arrived, I barely recognised her.”
A scoff fled me as I remembered how my mom had
looked the years preceding her disappearance. “I
remember the drugs, it’s one of the worst memories for
me,” I conceded. “Can’t even pinpoint exactly when she
started using. But the alcohol made it worse. She was
always out of it and no help against my dad.”
The older woman nodded in understanding. “I’m not
going to lie to you and tell you she’s a good mother, Nyxie.
But she came to me, asked me to do whatever I could to
protect you girls.”
Irritation sparked inside me. “Why didn’t she ever try to
do anything?” After Indigo’s birth, all I could remember
was my mom being forced around by my dad all the time or
snorting coke. “Why didn’t she stand up to him? And why
did it take her five years to do something? The longest
program is ninety days, I checked when Annie first told me
where she was. What was she doing for five years?”
An unnerving silence passed. “Relapsing.” I swallowed
roughly. “She was relapsing, Nyx. It takes some people
longer to heal.” Georgia looked suddenly pained. “I came
here to speak to your dad about the next step forward. Your
mom, she was released about a week ago.” My blood went
cold.
I cleared my throat. “She’s out?” Georgia nodded. If my
mom was out then it meant she’d finally gotten her shit
together. This must’ve been what Annie meant when she’d
said we had to figure out where our mom fit into our plan of
leaving. Because there was always a chance of her
returning, no matter how much I refused to believe it.
“Where’s she now?”
Georgia took a moment to assemble her thoughts and I
shifted uncomfortably. “I was hoping to speak to your dad
first before you and Annie,” she began and I looked away at
the mention of him. “As you know, I’m evaluating him. The
past two instances when he hurt Poppy and Indigo while I
was on the case, he was forced to attend compulsory
therapy. Those sessions were helping. However, I only
recently discovered his other family. His wife has been
made aware of the person that he is.” His wife. “And of
course, she’s not exactly happy. As far as I know, she’s
filing for divorce.”
“Lucky her,” I muttered. At least she had the sense to
leave him.
Georgia sighed. “Your dad is unstable right now.” I
snorted. “With his wife leaving him and the situation with
your mom, I think it would be best if we remove Poppy and
Indigo from his care permanently.”
Her words were like a gunshot in a silent room. I was
barely aware of my hand going to clutch the front of my
shirt. This was what we’d been trying to prevent. We
wanted to be free from my dad before anybody tried to take
our sisters away, when Annie and I were certain we could
provide for them and be their legal guardians.
“What?” My voice trembled.
“I’ve been biased this entire time,” Georgia continued,
placing a hand on my knee. “When your dad goes to
therapy, the girls are temporarily out of his care and are
supposed to stay with me. But I let them stay with you and
Annie, popping in now and then to check up. But now that
it’s certain Matthew Taylor can no longer care for the girls,
they have to be taken out of this house permanently.”
I was shaking my head. “They’re not going to my mom,
right?”
She squeezed my leg. “They’ll stay with me, sweetheart.
At least, until a potential guardian can take them in—”
“And how long will that be for?” I urged swiftly, trying to
figure out if I could ask Benson for my payments early.
“Because I could try and secure an apartment—”
The older woman gently shushed me. “As long as it takes
for you to get settled and out of your dad’s reach.” I nodded
absentmindedly, relief washing over me. Georgia was doing
us a huge favour by taking them in. She was doing this as a
friend and not a social worker.
When Georgia shifted to get up, I found myself asking,
“And what about our mom? Are you not gonna let her try to
get her daughters back? Visits?”
That was if she wanted to be back in our lives. Her
presence could prove to be a hindrance.
There was a moment where Georgia’s lips parted but no
words came out. I waited until she had what she wanted to
say. “As I said, your mom has been out for a week. She
promised to keep me updated.”
She didn’t even need to continue. The moment she
uttered the word promised, I knew my mom had bailed on
her.
Unamused, I shook my head and muttered, “She ghosted
you, didn’t she?” I was already scoffing before she nodded.
When Georgia continued to stare at me, I raised a brow.
“What? It’s not like it’s a surprise.”
“Nyx,” she said my name firmly and I felt the hairs on
my arms stand to attention. “I don’t know how to tell you
this—”
But she didn’t have to. She didn’t have to finish her
sentence—because I could see it in her eyes, in her
posture, hear it in her tone and feel it in her presence. I
stood up, ignoring the dull ache between my legs, and
began to pace. My hands were shaking, my eyes were
burning, but I refused to let myself cry. Georgia merely
watched me as I traversed the length of the living room,
arms folded across my chest.
“It doesn’t make a difference,” I muttered eventually,
making Georgia frown. “It’s not like she was part of our
lives anyway—”
“She was still your mother, Nyxie,” she said in a
soothing tone, one that grated at my anger.
 I shook my head furiously. “No. No, she wasn’t.
Biologically, she was my mom, but she never deserved that
title.” There was a weird sensation in my chest, one that I
couldn’t name. I didn’t care about her, I didn’t care about
Eliza Taylor. But something inside of me was aching.
Something inside of me was hurting.
Georgia stood as well, looking like she wanted to pull me
into her arms. “Nyxie—”
“She didn’t call you because she wanted to be better for
us,” I spoke over her, leaning against the wall. “She called
you because she didn’t care enough to be better for us.
Nobody else. She had nobody else so she dumped us in
your care because she didn’t plan on coming back.” My
chest was burning. A dad who fucking hated us and a mom
who couldn’t give a shit. “God, her death was probably an
accident. She probably thought she was finally free of us.
She thought she’d done her part by contacting you. She
thought the burden of her girls was gone. She thought—she
was—she didn’t want us. She—”
When I sank to the floor and wrapped my arms around
my knees, the sobbing came. It came and it didn’t end for a
while. I cried for little Nyx who used to love the fact that
she looked exactly like her mom. Words crawled up my
throat, words I yearned to utter to a woman who no longer
existed. I wanted to tell her that I hated her, hated what
she’d become. I wanted to thank her for teaching me what
not to be.
Desperately, I wracked the deepest parts of myself for
good memories of her but I came up empty, gasping for
breath. So I clung to the pain she’d left me with. Because
that was all she’d ever given me. I only had pain to
remember my mother by.
Georgia sank down next to me, pulling me into a bone-
shattering hug as I sobbed into her peach-scented scarf. I
cried for the juvenile part of me that had secretly held out
hope her mom would return. I cried for Annie who
obviously believed our mom could be better. I cried for
Poppy, a girl who grew up hating both of her parents. I
cried for Indigo.
In the silence that followed my weeping, I murmured,
“She never met her. She never had the chance to know
her.”
Georgie swallowed. “She didn’t need to. Indigo has you
and Annie. You’re more than enough.”
I sniffled, wiping at my swollen eyes. “I don’t want to be
there when you tell Annie.”
Georgia only nodded, stroking my hair. Annie and I felt
differently about our mom so our reactions would vary. I
couldn’t offer real comfort to my sister, not when I couldn’t
give a shit about our mom. More than anything, Annie
deserved to put the thought of Eliza to rest with good
memories, and Georgia could give her that. But not me. We
sat like that for a long while, long enough for me to wonder
what was taking Beckham so long.
Beckham.
The moment his name whispered through my mind, I
realised exactly what sensation was happening in my chest.
They said the person you loved most was your mother, a
love so intense that it took up the most space in your heart,
regardless of other people you cared for. But that space
had been hollow for me, filled with a faux version of what I
truly deserved. It felt like the ghost of my mom’s whispered
words of affection were fading now that she was gone, her
manipulative love being forced out by something genuine.
Beckham was taking up that spot in my heart now that
he had permission to. He wasn’t replacing her, but rather
filling the void that she’d left behind. The thought soothed
me more than it scared me. So I clung to Georgia until I
could find myself in the arms that truly gave me comfort.

OceanofPDF.com
I was so fucking in love with Nyx Taylor.
My dad knew, as dads always know, that I’d been in
love with her since the very beginning. Even the other
night, he’d emphasised it with my initial reaction to Nyx
helping Nate. I’d been hurt, and thought that the girl I
loved was nothing more than a figment of my imagination.
But she was real. So very real and so very not my enemy.
The realisation had hit me the second after I’d stood up
from her bed. It didn’t feel right. It didn’t feel right leaving
her. When I’d turned around, I’d seen the panic in my eyes
reflected in hers. That moment, so insignificant yet
simultaneously monumental. I could still see it.
Her face was red and sweaty, blonde hair in tangles
because of how I’d gripped it. She was completely naked in
the centre of ruffled sheets, her body and emotions
completely bare to me as something passed between us—a
whispered secret that only we would ever know.
A thousand memories of her raced through my mind,
and I fell in love with her all over again. Loving her was
always the easy part, but admitting it to myself was an
entirely different game. The majority of my frustration this
past few months had come from my urge to subdue it. Even
when it had seemed we were on opposite sides, I always
found myself a little in love with her. The way she raised a
brow when she couldn’t believe I was being an idiot. That
look in her eyes when she insulted me and she could feel
me wanting to laugh.
Or that small smile she had whenever she won our
battles of banter, as if her subconscious reminded her I
wasn’t angry, just in love with her.
I’d known that I loved her the second I saw her,
ornamented in fluffy clothing at what was our first match of
the school year. She’d looked like a literal marshmallow,
hair tucked into her beanie, heavy clothes and cheeks red
with the frigid air. When I’d first spotted her in the
audience, I’d gotten thrown to the icy ground. I’d glanced
up and caught her eye—she’d smirked before looking back
at the notebook in her lap. Nate had admonished me at the
end of the match, but at least I’d gotten her attention.
After that, I’d started noticing her everywhere. She’d
been a freshman and I’d thought perhaps she would need
guidance being shown around campus. It had soon become
quite clear that she didn’t need help from anyone. She’d
made it obvious by chewing the head off every guy that hit
on her. I’d kept my distance, observed from afar. And then
I’d made my move, dedicating all of my free time to her.
Thinking back, I wish I’d labelled what we were, made
her my girlfriend. I wondered if things would’ve been
different if I’d stayed, listened to her or helped her instead
of leaving like a heartbroken coward. I scowled at the
memory of my actions.
“I know that look,” a soft voice spoke as I leaned against
the wall, waiting for my order. I had to place an extra order
for Julie, and the place was packed so now I had to wait a
while. “You fucked up, didn’t you?”
My brows furrowed and I glanced at the woman who
stood next to me, dressed in a lengthy coat with a scarf
bound around her neck. Leather boots were on her feet and
she had a fashionable pair of sunglasses atop her silvery
hair. She didn’t look a day older than thirty, but her greying
hair and maturing face said otherwise. This was a woman
who moisturised as if her life depended on it because her
skin was smooth. Benson could learn a thing or two from
her, seeing as he was slowly turning into a sea serpent.
I’d noticed her earlier, walking in with a bright smile on
her face although she’d nearly been bulldozed by the sheer
amount of people. What I hadn’t noticed, however, was
when she’d made her way over to me. I must’ve been deep
in my thoughts to miss her approach.
“Excuse me?” I urged blandly, not wanting to offend her.
People jostled past us, wanting to get in line for food.
Project Burger. Annie had said this was Indigo’s preferred
place to eat at because they supposedly had the best
burgers. I understood now why I had to place an order
through the phone because this place was bursting at the
walls with people.
“Ms Lewis,” she introduced herself, although I didn’t
ask. Ignoring my look of confusion, she proceeded. “I was
saying, I know that look. It means you fucked up.” I stared
at her, wondering how she got all that from a mere scowl.
“You good?” She seemed slightly amused.
I stared at the tall woman with her long grey hair. Her
features were tender, as if she was genuinely intrigued by
what had me so disrupted.
“It’s nothing,” I returned, shaking my head.
Except it was everything. My mom had a right to be
disappointed in me when it came to how I’d handled things
with Nyx. When she’d supposedly helped Nate, I’d tried to
stifle what I felt for her and converted it into contempt. But
that unneeded anger was leaving my body, breath by
breath.
“Doesn’t seem like nothing,” Ms Lewis mumbled with an
entertained smirk. She flapped a hand, chuckling. “Take my
advice, son. Apologise. Even if you don’t know what you
did. It’s the easiest route.” If I squinted, Ms Lewis
reminded me of my mom. She had the habit of engaging in
intricate conversations with literal strangers. “My husband
never apologised after he stuck his dick in another woman.
Joke’s on him because not even five months later, I stuck
him six feet under the ground.”
My lips pursed, eyes glazing over with horror. “You
murdered him?”
Ms Lewis chuckled again and shrugged. “Didn’t need to.
Cancer did it for me. Runs in the family, I guess.” I stayed
silent, allowing her words to bob in the space between us.
“Enough about me. We’ve got at least another few minutes
before our food’s ready. Wanna tell me what’s up with
you?”
After she revealed that little fact about her husband, my
body eased slightly, which was ironic considering that she
purposefully implied that she murdered him. A joke,
perhaps. She’d offered a piece of information and was
asking for some in return.
Was I really about to talk to a literal stranger?
Well, Grayson was unavailable. So yes. I always scolded
my best friend for being too philosophical, but life was
biting me in the ass and I was in desperate need of advice.
“It’s not that easy.” How did I apologise for all the hurt
I’d put her through? She’d let me tyrannise her about being
with Nate when she’d known the truth. “A sorry isn’t
enough.” I would know, I’ve been apologising so fucking
much but it didn’t ease my regret.
“You’d be surprised,” the older woman reflected, tucking
her glasses into her little handbag. “A sorry means
everything if you’re willing to put pride aside.” Her brown
eyes examined me and then she hummed. “My husband
never saw the wrong in what he did. Have you admitted to
yourself that you were wrong?” I nodded, remembering all
the nights I’d spent beating myself up for how I’d treated
the girl I loved. Her next question took me off guard. “Are
you ready for anybody else to know?”
I froze.
And she grinned.
For as long as I could remember, I prided myself on
doing the right thing. My mom always quipped that it was
because my dad was such a moral man, always followed the
rules, became a cop. I didn’t fret about the whispers when
people had found out that my captaincy was almost bought.
Because I knew it was the right thing to do to get rid of
Nate. But now, it meant that I’d hated Nyx for nothing, my
team had hated her for nothing, we’d put her through hell
for nothing. They always followed the lead of their captain.
I was their captain. And I’d hated Nyx.
Yes, I’d thought she’d turned her back on my team who
meant the world to me, but most importantly, I’d thought
she’d also turned her back on me. And that hurt more than
anything else. I’d been jealous. It was time to admit it. I’d
been jealous. And I’d let that impede everything.
Beckham Hunt had been reduced to a mindless fool by
envy.
Was my judgement even dependable? How could it be
dependable if I let emotions get in the way? The question
jabbing holes in my chest was whether my team would
trust me to make healthy decisions from this point forward.
“Exactly,” Ms Lewis articulated again after I was hushed
for a while, obviously thinking things through. “Your
apology won’t mean anything if you’re not truly sorry and
ready to face the consequences. I hate bringing him up
because he was a fucking asshole, but, once again, my
husband didn’t see the wrong in what he did but even if he
had—he never would’ve let anyone else know he’d made a
mistake.” She scoffed. “An honourable man, supposedly.
Honourable my ass.”
I weighed her words. “If he was truly sorry. Truly. Would
you have forgiven him for his mistake?”
 Her lips quirked. “It’s only a mistake if you don’t learn
from it.” I glanced away, chest feeling heavy. “He used to
wear that same look around the house, the little scowl
you’re wearing. It’s why I approached you.” I was about to
interpose and argue that, unlike her husband, I was sorry,
but she recommenced speaking. “He may not have thought
much of me, but he wore that guilty look for our daughters.
Can you imagine their little hearts being broken by their
dad before a lover?”
An image of Nyx and her sisters infiltrated my mind. I
saw Nyx and Annie crying at the sight of Indigo twirling on
stage. I saw Poppy screaming her head off as she cheered
for her baby sister.
And then I nodded. “Yes. I can.”
Ms Lewis had a faraway look in her eyes. “Although he
felt guilty, he couldn’t admit to everyone that he was
wrong. He took that guilt to the grave, never apologised. I
pray that it’s eating at his decaying body.” Her lower lip
shivered and she appeared to want to say more, but
stopped herself short, settling for something else. “Men
like that give women representations of everything a
relationship shouldn’t be. But it gets normalised, makes
them feel as if they should feel worthless and be in
constant pain.”
I thought of Nyx again. I’d already proven what a
heartless asshole I could be. If I could take everything
back, I would. She hadn’t deserved to be treated the way
she’d been, as if she wasn’t worth staying. Her dad had
already done enough damage. I didn’t need to add more
scars to her collection.
“She means a lot to me. My girl, that is.”
“Then fix it,” she acknowledged with a compassionate
smile. “How long have you been together?”
My face went pinched at the inquiry and Ms Lewis gave
me a sideways glance. “We’re not exactly together,” I cut
myself off, shaking my head, “well, we’re together now.”
 If she’d have me.
“Does this lover of yours have a name?” Ms Lewis
demanded, checking the time on her wristwatch.
I couldn’t stop my smile. “Nyx. Her name’s Nyx.” Even
saying her name brought on a surge of delight that I’d been
denying myself for so long.
She nodded, grinning. “Make things right. And Project
Burger is the perfect starting point. Their burgers are
magic.” I squeezed her hand. “And thanks for the talk. I
needed it just as much as you did.” A worker called out an
order number and Ms Lewis stood straighter. “That’s me.”
She pet my arm. “Good luck.”
Before she could step away, I held out a hand. “Beckham
Hunt.” She gripped my hand and shook it as she smiled.
“Thank you.”
She laughed again. “My pleasure, son.” She whirled on
her heel, but paused. Then she smiled and nodded.
“Annabelle Lewis.”
I watched her saunter towards the counter for her meal.
And then she was gone. It was only ten minutes later that
my order was finished. Once I had my order, I made my way
back to Nyx’s place, Ms Lewis’ words still working through
my mind. I wondered if she was a guardian angel or
something because she’d said exactly what I needed to
hear when Grayson wasn’t there.
When I parked outside of Nyx’s place, she came
scampering out of the house, her bag clutched in her
hands. She darted towards the car like a bullet, hopping in
before I could even turn it off. I frowned as she shut the
door, clumsily climbing over the console to settle in my lap.
Then her face was buried in my neck, her body sagging
against me.
I’d been gone for only an hour. Confused, I wrapped my
arms around her. “You okay?”
She shook her head. “My mom overdosed on cocaine last
week. They only just found her body.” She said it so
casually that I was about to ask if she was joking.
She stayed silent for almost ten minutes before she
explained her conversation with Georgia. But no matter
how much she tried to drive the point home that she wasn’t
hurt, I knew she was. There was no sadness at the
revelation of her mom’s death, only hurt at the fact that she
hadn’t tried. She elaborated on the role Georgia played and
what she understood now.
“She never cared enough to stay,” Nyx muttered, playing
with the lobe of my ear; a habit that I’d noticed Indigo had
too. I glanced down at her, at the small frown on her lips.
Another wordless conversation passed between us, and
then Nyx was saying, “She never cared enough to come
back.” But you did. She didn’t continue, yet the ghost of the
words she wanted to utter was there.
“Do you and Annie need a place to stay?” I asked,
realising now that Georgia was taking the girls, the eldest
sisters had no reason to stay with their abusive dad
anymore. That filled me with relief. Although I’d promised
Nyx that I wouldn’t involve my dad in her business until she
was ready, it still scared me that her dad could hurt her
whenever he felt like he could. My constant threats would
only keep him at bay for so long.
She shrugged. “Probably. Georgia still has to tell Annie,
though, and I have no idea how we’re gonna tell Poppy and
Indigo.”
Almost hesitantly, I pressed a kiss to her head. My
nerves made it feel as if every affectionate action would
expose the fact that I loved her. “You can stay with us.” In
fact, having her close would make me feel a whole lot
better.
Her eyes lifted, the blue standing out against the
redness from crying. “Thank you.” It was one sentence, but
I could feel everything else she was trying to say.
I leaned down, my lips briefly brushing hers and she
smiled. And that’s how we stayed for the next few minutes,
completely silent yet souls breathless after running a
marathon we couldn’t complete last year. Hurdles that we
hadn’t expected had popped up, hindering us from
completing the race. But now we did. We crossed the finish
line we were too scared to. It was an unvoiced achievement
between us, communicated by a gentle kiss.
Her hand in mine was my medal, showcasing that it all
had been worth it. My hand on her jaw was a promise. She
was mine as much as I was hers.

“I can confidently state that Indigo is the most talented

Taylor sister,” Oliver proclaimed, sauce dribbling from his
mouth like blood. He was lounging on the carpet, a plate
with his burger and fries atop his crossed legs.
Unannounced, he and Jasper had arrived at my house a few
minutes ago, claiming to have been passing by. I knew that
was bullshit.
They wanted food.
Grayson was willing to share his meal with him whereas
Jasper shared with Nyx. Nailea arrived shortly after with
pizza and plopped herself on the carpet by Oliver. Jai had a
date, and I was sure he’d tell us all about it in the morning.
He did, nevertheless, leave a dollhouse for Indigo to
congratulate her on her solo.
Indigo giggled, dipping her fry into ketchup as everyone
agreed with Oliver, including her sisters. Poppy was next to
her with Julie on her other side. The three girls had a couch
all to themselves with a big, fluffy blanket. Grayson and
Sebastian were squashed on a couch with Jasper, Annie and
Beth at their feet, the latter having shown up after her
shift.
Jasper gulped down a bite of his burger. “Nyx sent me a
video of your performance and all I could think about is
why you aren’t a professional ballerina yet.” He was
speaking directly to Indigo, who blushed profusely at the
compliments she was getting.
“My thoughts exactly,” Grayson added, winking at
Indigo.
“You did great,” Beth said after taking a sip from the
milkshake she shared with Annie.
Indigo gave an adorable grin, watching how comfortably
Annie sat in her arms. “Thanks, Macbeth.”
I felt Nyx quiver against me, highlighting that she
thought along the same lines as me. Indigo was thanking
Beth for more than the compliment. She was thanking her
for putting that smile back on Annie’s face.
The rest of the meal was eaten alongside loud laughs
and pathetic jokes made by Jasper. Nyx was laughing at
everything, a carefree smile on her face despite the
looming arrival of Georgia to speak to Annie. For this one
night, Nyx told me that she would keep a secret from her
older sister because she didn’t want to ruin what was a
joyous occasion.
Once we were done, Sebastian set up the TV as we all
watched in expectation. Nailea aggravated him by calling
him an idiot when he couldn’t switch the tv on. It took Nyx
threatening to throw them both out to get them to shut up.
Nailea muttered a curse in Spanish that had Sebastian’s
eyes bulging.
Annie stood up and walked towards the TV. Her brown
eyes found Indigo’s, matching. She clasped her hands
together when they began shaking. “As you all know, this is
a big occasion. It was Indigo’s first solo.”
“The first of many!” Oliver cheered and Sebastian
whistled, suddenly no longer angry. The latter had come a
long way for somebody who’d claimed to despise kids. He
seemed to cherish Indigo and got along well with her.
I knew, however, that it was still tense between him and
a certain blonde minx. For his sake, I hoped he apologised
soon. I didn’t like the idea of one of my best friends and my
girlfriend being at each other’s throats.
Because I was going to make Nyx my girlfriend this time
around.
“And Nyx and I decided we’d finally answer a question
she’d been dying to know the answer to,” Annie continued,
a timid smile on her face. The guys shared bewildered
looks.
Indigo, on the other hand, was far from disconcerted.
She nearly fell from the couch with enthusiasm and
shrieked. “Finally! It’s only been two years since I first
asked you!”
I turned to Nyx, whose head rested on my shoulder, and
quirked a brow. “She wants to know why she’s named
Indigo.”
When Annie summoned her forward, Nyx dug into her
bag and passed her a little hard drive. Grayson rammed it
into the TV and passed the remote to Nyx. The anticipation
grew, and even I was apprehensive about what was going
to happen.
“This video was taken on the day you were born,” Annie
said, making her way back to Beth. Indigo’s grin grew at
the new information, obviously excited. Nyx clicked a few
buttons. The screen went black. And then we were gazing
at a blank wall.
“The day has finally arrived,” an unknown voice
expressed, one that had us all going silent. “Eliza’s vagina
finally decided to spit out the last of the Taylor girls.” Nyx
snorted loudly at that and Annie blushed, glancing at the
three young girls but they were more focused on the
screen. “First up, we have our favourite Anna Banana
who’s becoming a big sister for the third time. Tell us how
you’re feeling, Annaconda.”
Everyone, besides Nyx and Annie, let out sounds of
surprise as the camera stirred to meet a very youthful
Annie, around the age of eighteen. Her brown hair was
even shorter and her eyes weren’t as dim as they were now.
She was leaping with nerves, face red and eyes wide.
“I’m nervous. Mom’s been in there for quite some time,”
she countered in a tremulous voice, but she was beaming.
“I’m hoping this one looks like me. Too many blondies in
the house.”
“I have a feeling you’ll get your wish, Anna Montana,”
the woman replied. The screen blurred for a second before
switching on again. “It’s four hours later and Eliza is
pushing harder than that time I was constipated.” I
snickered at that and Nyx grinned. “I now call to the stand
Nic Nac the Tic Tac.”
Nailea practically screamed when a tiny Nyx arrived on
the screen, long blonde hair and bright blue eyes. If you
didn’t look close enough, you’d think you were staring at
Poppy.
“It stinks here,” tiny Nyx spoke to the camera, looking
like she was in the mood to cause havoc. “And I saw a
doctor pull a nurse into the closet. The doctor was wearing
a ring,” she drifted closer to the camera, eyes wide, “but
the nurse wasn’t—”
“Enough of that, Nicky Mouse,” the camerawoman cut
her off, sounding frightened. “Let’s go check on your mom.”
“Who’s the camerawoman?” Jasper asked the question
we were all thinking, throwing an arm around Nailea who
snuggled into his hold. Sebastian glared at them both and I
held back a smirk.
Annie grinned. “Our aunt. She studied film, and because
of that, was always taping everything. We were the main
actors in every one of her homemade movies.”
I could tell everyone had more questions, like why there
was no mention of their dad yet. Grayson knew snippets,
probably having heard from Annie, and Nailea knew more
than she let on. The frown on Beth’s face told me that
Annie had already told her everything.
 The screen went black again. When it turned back on,
we were looking at Nyx, who kept a six-year-old Poppy on
her lap. Julie squealed at the sight of her best friend and
Poppy laughed, poking the dark-skinned girl in the arm
before grinning.
“Here we have our Popstar, the main Popsicle, the one
and only Pop-tart. She’s minutes away from becoming a big
sister. She—” There was a piercing scream and then the
screen went black once more.
This time, when the image cleared, we were gazing at a
blonde woman in a hospital bed. Doctors moved around her
but she was smiling through the pain. Her face was
crimsoned and moistened with perspiration, perks of going
into labour. In her arms, she held a tiny bundle in a pink
blanket. The woman was sobbing, but that wasn’t what I
was focused on.
Indigo stole the words right out of my mouth when she
pointed at Nyx, although her eyes were trained on the
screen. “She looks just like you.” Nyx’s smile dropped when
Indigo’s eyes watered. Her next question had my heart
stuttering. “Is that mommy?”
The room was even more soundless than before. It felt
like nobody was breathing. Indigo couldn’t even remember
what her mom looked like because she’d been abandoned
before she could even grasp a proper memory. At nearly six
years old, she was essentially seeing her mom for the first
time. There were no pictures of Eliza around their home,
I’d checked. I didn’t know whether that was a mutual
decision the adults had made or if it had something to do
with their dad.
Annie swallowed roughly before saying. “Yeah.” She
cleared her throat, gazing at her mom. “Beautiful, isn’t
she?”
Indigo nodded, finally ripping her eyes away from the
screen to stare at Nyx. “She looks just like you.” Her words
were a murmur, dripping with reverence.
 It was as if she couldn’t believe her eyes, couldn’t
believe that she’d spent so long trying to picture her mom
when she had the real thing in front of her. Despite the
constant teasing arguments and faux rivalry with the
youngest Taylor, I wanted to squeeze her against me. She
would never know her mother.
“I know, sweetheart,” Nyx said with a petite smile.
“Trust me, I know.” Indigo wiped away tears. “But look, it’s
you.” She pointed at the screaming bundle of pink. “You
nearly turned us all deaf.” Annie laughed, agreeing. Little
Poppy was the first to climb onto the bed to see her new
baby sister. Annie sat at the foot of the bed and Nyx
huddled into her mom’s side. The Taylor girls, all in one
picture.
“Wait!” the camerawoman bellowed, being hushed by
Eliza. “I need to be in this too.”
“Let me,” a familiar voice spoke up and I frowned,
unable to place where I knew it from. The camera was then
transferred, and soon, the original camerawoman was
entering the frame. She wore a bright red tracksuit and a
patterned scarf around her neck. Her head was bare of any
hair, but she had on a cute headband with a big red bow.
“Scoot over, LolliPop. Make space for your favourite
aunt,” she stated, binding her arms around the small
blonde.
Little Nyx snorted. “You’re our only aunt.”
Indigo tipped her head in bewilderment, glimpsing at
her sisters as the film played on. “I don’t remember her.” If
she didn’t remember her own mom, it wasn’t a surprise she
couldn’t remember her aunt.
Nyx was smiling, but her eyes were rimmed with tears.
“That’s mom’s younger sister. She had cancer. Died the day
after you were born.” A loud laugh got our attention and we
watched the hairless woman coo at the new baby. “Her
name was Indigo.”
 Tears were streaming down Annie’s face as she watched
the bright woman laugh in wonder at the infant, and I knew
Nyx was stifling it. Even Poppy looked on the brink of
sobbing. Because they were old enough to remember her.
The first Indigo.
I wanted to comfort Nyx, but the older Indigo implored,
“Come on momma bear. Don’t be such a bore. You never
wanna be in my films.” There was some muffled arguing.
And then the camera was being laid on a table. “Yes!”
Some doctors laughed as they scampered around the room,
but I was frozen, watching as Ms Lewis made her way to
Eliza’s side.
“Who’s that?” Indigo urged, pouting at the unfamiliar
woman.
Poppy was the one who spoke up, but I already knew the
answer. “Grandma.”

OceanofPDF.com
“F ucking ow,” I buzzed when my elbow banged into
the tinted window and my frown intensified when
Beckham laughed. “You asshole.”
Just as I went to protest again, his mouth capped mine
as he dragged me closer. I slanted into his embrace, coiling
my arms around his neck, making sure to not thump my
elbow into the window again. It ached like a bitch and I
didn’t want to go through it again.
Beckham groaned, hands clutching my hips and moving
me against him. I dragged myself over his lap, revelling in
the loud moan that left his lips. Kissing was always
satisfying for me. I’d kissed many people in the past.
But kissing Beckham was completely different, solely
because of the way his kisses made me feel.
Detaching his mouth from mine, he moved his lips down
my neck and I tilted back as he suckled on the exposed skin
above my bra. And then my back knocked into the car horn.
The ear-splitting honk carried through the campus parking
lot, causing me to shriek in surprise. Beckham was
laughing again.
 Cussing him out, I fixed my sweater and opened the
door, nearly falling off his lap. I snubbed him as I climbed
out of the car, staggering on my feet and trying to steady
myself. Beckham had a way of making me woozy.
“Where are you going?” he urged, still laughing and
shutting the door behind him, locking the car.
When he’d texted to meet at his car during lunch, I’d
gotten excited because I had some tension I desperately
needed to release. However, that was far from Beckham’s
mind. He wanted to talk about how I was doing since
finding out about my mom’s death.
The truth was, I wasn’t doing too great. Annie had taken
our mom’s passing better than I expected and I had a
feeling it was because she had somebody to ground her,
keep her afloat—somebody that wasn’t related to her. It
was the same way I felt about Beckham.
Poppy and Indigo were freshly placed in Georgia’s care,
something that excited them because it was like a long
sleepover. They understood it was for their benefit and
adapted quicker than what was normal. I assumed it was
because they hated our dad and we promised to visit them
every day. They also didn’t seem to care that their mom
was dead, something I couldn’t fault them for. Georgia said
she’d let us know about the funeral.
Annie and I still hadn’t moved out yet, in the process of
boxing our belongings because everyone had been busy
lately. Luckily, my dad hadn’t come home whilst we got our
shit sorted. But then he had arrived last night. I didn’t want
to talk about it and Beckham knew that which was why
he’d let me climb into his lap so we could make out. It irked
me that he was so fucking understanding. As much as I was
annoyed, I needed his comfort, the sanctuary that he
provided.
My dad had arrived, freshly divorced and widowed by
two different women. And then his two daughters were
missing as well. I’d forgotten what he looked like when he
got that mad. It was like being in the presence of a demon,
sucking all life from the room. His words had been pure
malignity and his fingers coated with destruction as he
lunged for me, yanking my hair and flinging me into the
wall.
Whore, he’d called me. The same word had been uttered
repeatedly as Annie tried to calm him down. Just like your
whore of a mother. He rarely discussed her so him talking
about her had taken me by shock. I couldn’t even explain
how much he despised my mom. It surprised me that he
wasn’t revelling in her death, considering how much he
hated her—but it only fuelled his anger. Now that she was
gone, he had the next best thing to hate. I would never
escape that hatred, regardless of putting my dad in my past
the moment Annie and I left.
“I need a moment,” I responded to Beckham, choosing
to take a stroll around the football field because the
memory of last night shrouded itself around my lungs and
now I couldn’t breathe. Beckham wasn’t stupid. He knew
something was up, knew it from the moment I’d placed my
lips against his instead of talking. “You can head back to
class.”
He accompanied me, tucking his keys into the pocket of
his jacket. “Nyx, what’s wrong?” He sounded concerned,
surpassing concerned.
I continued walking, feeling that froth of anxiety
swelling inside my chest. It was a frequent feeling, one I’d
dealt with for many years of my life. I stopped at the
furthest edge of the field, the most faraway point from the
main building. All this open space enabled me to breathe. I
was away from all the people, giving me the range to
reflect, to make sense of my fucked up life. Beckham still
stood idling expectantly and I shifted to face him.
“He mentioned you.”
Beckham’s eyes narrowed. “Who?”
I stifled a shudder. “My dad.”
 I watched Beckham’s eyes shadow with confusion, the
same look that I’d been donning since last night. Running a
hand through my hair, I sighed. The entire argument had
been about Beckham, but not in the way that I foresaw. I’d
anticipated him to call me out for being with the son of a
cop, or maybe even to bitch about Beckham threatening
him.. Yet, it wasn’t Beckham that was his problem.
It was me.
I’d be damned if I let you ruin that man the way your
mom did me, he’d seethed at me, slobber covering my face.
You’re already damned, had been my rejoinder, one that
had him clasping my hair tighter to the point where it felt
like my scalp was about to split. Like a professor giving a
lecture, he’d spent so long driving home his point; that he
wouldn’t let me wreck Beckham. The insane motherfucker I
called a dad was certain he saw himself in Beckham, was
certain we’d end up exactly as they did. The only
comparison was that they were both an only child.
But it stopped there.
My dad had revealed that I was doing exactly what my
mom had done to him, enticing and corrupting. He’d
maintained it was why he resented her; because she ruined
his life, and left him with unruly kids. He’d only married
her because she’d been desperate for her kids to have their
father. He'd thought the kids would make her less clingy in
their marriage than what she’d been when they were
younger. But his hatred for her had still outweighed his
duty as a father.
Whore, he’d repeated over and over again. Even when
he tried to move on, the memory of my whore of a mom
plagued him and ruined his marriage. He blamed her for
everything. Even in death, she tormented him. When I
relayed this story to Beckham, his body tensed in rage.
“Bullshit,” he snapped, stepping closer to me with an
aggravated expression. “Absolute bullshit.”
 I nodded. “I know, I mean, I definitely believe nothing he
said about the two of you. It was just very random.”
It alarmed me because I questioned if my dad was right
about the part where I was like my mother. We were
comparable in looks, and from what I remembered,
personality as well. Before my dad had broken her
completely, she’d stood up for us and taken the beatings so
we wouldn’t. She’d shielded us and enraged him so that he
would forget he was angry at us. She’d been doing what I’d
done for the past few years, putting the girls first.
And then she’d left.
Annie and I would come up with scenarios like pirates
abducted her and she was spending every second battling
her way back to us. At least, that was what we’d come up
with when we were around Poppy.
When it was just me, I questioned if she’d found a man
better than my dad, one that wouldn’t harm her, assured
protection. I wept because if that was the truth, that man
meant more to her than her daughters. She was willing to
leave us with a monster so she could run off. She’d left us
under the rouse to get better, but what if she actually just
wanted to get away? What if she had somebody else
waiting for her? Somebody that was more important than
her kids?
Her decision was selfish, and I knew selfish all too well.
That was the part that alarmed me. Because I’d already
chosen Beckham once before. And my sisters had suffered.
“You say you don’t believe him,” Beckham hummed, “but
your face says otherwise.” When I looked up, his eyes were
glazed with confusion and hurt. “Do you think I’m going to
hurt you?”
My eyes widened and I quickly shook my head,
apprehending how it looked. “No, Beck. No, I don’t think
that.” Seeing that he was still unsettled, I took his hand in
mine. It was rough and warm and so much larger than
mine. I laced my fingers through his. My heart was beating
so fast because I knew what was looming. The talk. To
explain to him why I thought I was like my mom, he needed
to know what happened fully. “I think he’s right about one
thing, that I’m like my mom. Selfish.”
I remembered nights spent huddled in the bathroom,
Poppy in my lap and Annie’s arms encompassing me as we
heard glass being flung around, heard yelling. My mom had
fought back and Annie and I wished that she’d leave him.
We couldn’t wait for the day she gathered our bags and left
our dad in the dust. But then she’d left. Without us. And
we’d stayed clutching each other in the bathroom, only
Poppy had been in Annie’s arms and I’d held a baby.
He scoffed, looking pestered through his furrowed
brows and pursed lips. “That’s the most absurd thing I’ve
ever heard. Anyone with eyes can see how much you love
your sisters, what you’re willing to do for them—”
“You know that I sabotaged Nate,” I cut him off, words
trembling and shoulders tensing. “I sabotaged every event I
threw for him, from stale food blamed on greedy vendors to
upset kids of rich parents. I even altered the reports that
he sent to Coach Ford.”
The grass beneath my feet felt too soft, the air felt too
intense, and the sky too polished. Everything was too
much, yet too little at the same time. I stepped back,
reaching for a leaf on the tree I was standing in front of,
enabling Beckham to process the words I just released like
a pack of famished wolves I’d kept locked up for almost a
year.
The wolves were after one thing, the stupid
misunderstanding between us. My words wanted to gorge
it. All this time, I’d had the capability to sever the supposed
rivalry between us.
Beckham shook his head. “I knew that already—”
I shredded the leaf into tiny little pieces, watching each
tear. “Nate was dating Annie and they were head-over-
heels in love with each other. I intended to help him, not
help him win.” I swallowed harshly when Beckham stayed
soundless. I ripped another leaf. “His dad’s a pompous
man. If Nate lost the captaincy, he wouldn’t allow his son to
roam the hallways of the place he lost at. His dad was so
disappointed that he no longer wanted anything to do with
him—which meant Nate could live without his dad trying to
control him.”
Beckham was visibly shaking with everything he was
feeling. He knew that I’d sabotaged Nate, just not the
weight of everything that had happened.
“Nyx, that doesn’t make you a bad person. It makes you
a good person, actually, wanting to help him when he had
nobody else—even at the expense of yourself. What I don’t
understand is why you never sought to explain—”
“Because I was scared!” I yelled back, voice quivering.
His expression turned into one of anguish. “Why would
you ever have to be scared of me—”
I shoved his chest, although he didn’t even stumble. The
remnants of the leaf slipped from my hands. “Because love
is fucking terrifying!” I exclaimed, making him freeze.
“People write all those pretty poems but seem to
conveniently leave out the fact that love is absolutely gut-
wrenching. I’m afraid of what I’d do for you, Beckham,” I
said, breathing heavily.
His eyes were so soft that I wanted to cry. “Nyx,” he
muttered my name, not finding the words. So I continued
speaking.
“I was selfish. Helping Nate only became part of my plan
weeks later when I felt like a guilty bitch for sabotaging
him even though I knew he loved Annie,” I explained,
nearly choking on my words as I recalled the heartbreak
etched into every inch of Annie as Nate left her, left behind
what they’d had. “Helping him get away from his dad
wasn’t the reason I started sabotaging him, Beck.”
His turbulent eyes halted on me and I could see the
contradictory emotions battling for dominance. His throat
bobbed when he swallowed restlessly and I zoned in on the
action because I wasn’t tough enough to hold his gaze for
that long, not when his emotions were so stripped.
In a second, his hands were cupping my face. His
features were hopeful, yet terrified. “I just want you to
know that as you speak right now, you hold my heart in
your hands, Nyx. Before you even continue, I want you to
know that.”
I planted my hands over his, breathing slowly. “There
were only three men I ever cared about. I can’t remember
anything about Uncle Robbie but I know he loved me. Then
there was my dad. He looked at me as if I was nothing.” I
forced a laugh. “And then there was you.” He closed his
eyes, leaning down to lay his forehead against mine. My
name left his lips in a guttural tone. “I guess I was just
desperate for you to look at me as if I was something—”
“You are something,” he vocalised, eyes still shut.
“You’ve always been something to me, baby.” I trembled,
letting my eyes fall shut as well. “My desire for you knows
no end. I was desperate to talk to you, be around you. I was
desperate to make you mine before anybody else realised
that beneath that hard exterior, beneath the bitchy
comments and kill-all-men attitude, beneath the scowls—
there was you, bare of any armour.”
Tears were dripping from my closed eyes, falling into his
hands. I felt more than saw his eyes open. His words
penetrated my skin, allowing the negativity from my dad to
flow out. His words embedded deep into my soul,
substituting everything my dad used to torture me, to make
me feel insignificant.
“I wanted you,” I confessed quietly. “I wanted everything
that you represented. Being with you gave me a sense of
peace like no other. I had nothing to offer you in return, I
didn’t even know if I could love somebody other than my
family, not after what I’d been through.” He tried to
intervene but I had more to say. “Still, I wanted to give you
something. I agreed to help Nate after I overheard some of
the older hockey players talking. Although you all were
desperate, they wouldn’t respect you as a captain if your
dad bought the captaincy because you didn’t fight to get
them out of Nate’s clutches.”
I remembered my rage after I’d caught their conference.
Although they were older, they weren’t the ones who had
worked their asses off to figure out a plan. It was the
younger ones; Beckham, Sebastian and Grayson. The
payment had been their last resort.
Beckham’s grip around me tightened like he was waiting
for me to evaporate and for him to discover that he’d been
standing alone all this time. “So you had me believe you
turned your back on me.” I nodded, matching his gaze.
“And I fought—”
“For the captaincy—”
“For you,” he ended his sentence as he brushed away
the last of my tears. “I was jealous of Nate because I
thought he had you. We were never official and it just
seemed so easy for him to take you from me. Why didn’t
you come clean afterwards? Why’d you let me hate you?”
And here came the part that I loathed, the thoughts that
kept me up at night. “I didn’t deserve you, not when I
ruined Annie’s relationship. Annie knew what I was doing
for you and she didn’t try to stop me. Nate never liked
hockey, so in her eyes, I truly was helping him. But when he
lost, his dad moulded all of his anger into something else.
And he broke Annie’s heart, believed his dad when he said
Annie was only with him for money.” It was as if the words
were scratching my throat because they felt biting. “His
dad’s a lawyer and I ended up getting sued for
defamation.”
“Asshole,” Beckham grunted, arms going around me and
drawing my body against his chest.
I sniffled. “We were already struggling, Beck. And I
made things worse. The next few months were the worst.
Indigo was frail from lack of food, even got sick.” Beckham
was practically reeling with outrage. I looked him in the
eye. “But I couldn’t regret what I’d done. Because you had
the captaincy, your team respected you—”
“And you needed me to hate you,” he echoed the words
I’d once told him at the cafe. “Because you couldn’t.”
I shook my head, shaking. “I was selfish. My dad’s right,
I’m just like her.” The resemblance was fucking uncanny. “I
didn’t know how greedy my heart was until I placed you
above everything else.” And I’d carried that, using it as a
reason to keep him at bay.
Beckham’s voice was rough when he spoke again. “I’m
not worth all of that pain, baby. And I proved it to you this
past year.” His broken voice conveyed how truly repentant
he was. “But you didn’t intend to hurt your family. You
intended to help two assholes who didn’t deserve an inch of
your love. You can’t spend the rest of your life atoning for
sins you didn’t commit, Nyx, can’t punish yourself.” I
buried my face into his jacket, trying not to sob. “The fault
lay at the feet of Nate’s dad. The beatings you suffered
through bore the mark of your dad’s hands.” I heard what
he didn’t want to say out loud. It wasn’t Nate’s fault either.
“You’re nothing like your mom because she left you girls.
You stayed.” He gulped. “And you turned me into an enemy
to put your sisters’ happiness above your own.”
I glanced up at him, eyes meeting his. There were so
many things I could’ve said, things that I’ve only ever read
or watched movies about. In the end, it came out as a
simple sentence.
“I love you.”
Beckham smiled. “I’ve always loved you, Nyx. I spent my
time alternating between hating the fact that I loved you or
loving how much I loved you.”
My cheeks warmed. “That’s a lot of love.”
“Yet infinitely less than what you deserve,” he
continued, brushing hair from my face. “And I’ll spend the
rest of my life filling in gaps that weren’t meant to be there
in the first place.”
The material of his jacket bunched in my hold, letting his
words soak in. Beckham wasn’t Matthew Taylor, and I
wasn’t Eliza Taylor. We were the furthest thing from them.
“Am I foolish for still wanting what my parents never
had?”
I felt him shrug. “Am I foolish for hoping the girl I put
through hell will still have me?” He pressed a kiss to the
top of my head as I shook my head. His hatred had been a
punishment I’d thought I deserved after what I’d let
happen to my family. But that family was happy now, on
their way to healing.
“You’ve always been a fool, anyway,” I mumbled into his
chest. “I’m sorry that I kept trying to put distance between
us recently, made light of what we felt. It wasn’t fair on
your behalf, making it seem like there was only a need for
sex with us. I know now that it was because I was scared,” I
admitted.
“Nyx,” he started, swaying slightly with me in his arms.
“I’m telling you beforehand, I’m never going to leave. I
don’t care how long it takes but I’ll earn your forgiveness
bit by fucking bit.” I suppressed a smile at his promise.
“Now that I understand that you pull away because you’re
scared, I’m going to do whatever it takes to snuff that fear.
There’ll never be a decision between me or your sisters,
their happiness or yours. It’s one and the same.” And the
fucker just put into words that deep fear of mine. “I’ll keep
them happy to keep you happy, and vice versa. And I don’t
care how many reasons you throw at me to leave, I only
need one fucking reason to stay.” He placed a finger under
my chin and tipped my head back.
“Sex?” I attempted a joke.
He grinned that boyish grin he kept reserved for his
teammates. “Sure. If you replace the S and E with an N and
Y.” I tried so hard to keep my smile from appearing. It
persisted, securing its grip around the edges of my mouth
and towing upwards. Soon, with aching cheeks, I was
smiling. “There’s my girl.”
And then he leaned down, pressing his mouth to mine. I
sighed, reaching to tangle my fingers in his messy hair as
his hands went to the back of my thighs to hoist me up. My
legs swathed around him and he shoved me back against
the tree, tongue slipping into my mouth. For the first time
in forever, I allowed myself to kiss Beckham with no
apprehension. In two minutes, he asphyxiated my deepest
fear, that I’d have to choose.
There was no need to choose when Beckham was
permanent.
“Can’t believe you thought you lost,” I mused as his lips
met my cheek.
He pulled away, his gaze soft. No words passed between
us for a few seconds. “I’m winning now.” Before I could pull
his lips back to me, a splatter landed just a few spaces
away from where I was clutching his hair. “Did a bird just
shit on my head?” I burst into laughter because there was
no denying what just happened. A delicate dropping of
white and green was splat in the middle of his head,
soaking into his hair. “Just fucking great.”
“Hey,” I smacked his shoulder. “Bird poop is a good
omen.” He rolled his eyes, pestered that there was another
being’s shit on his head. When he tried to put me down, I
bandaged my legs tighter around him, clinging to him like a
koala.
“You’re only saying that because you’re not the one with
shit on your head,” he groaned, though he smiled when I
scoffed. He tried to shake his head, but the poop was
already drying. I snorted at his futile attempt to get rid of
it.
“Symbolically, it’s believed that when a bird shits on you,
it means you have to pause and reflect,” I told him,
beaming at his exasperation. “You have to be honest with
yourself and an important part of this is the cleaning stage
—”
It was his turn to scoff. “When I have to clean the shit
from my head—”
“When you’re cleansing yourself and your soul,” I
finished, smirking triumphantly when he shut up. “But good
luck will only come your way if you’re open to receiving the
greatness that the universe has to offer,” I repeated the
words that I memorised from the time I’d joined the
philosophy students’ meeting. As much as people liked to
tyrannise them for being so philosophical, they made sense.
And maybe, just maybe, I’d start regularly attending their
meetings. “If you believe that good fortune is coming your
way, it will. Your thoughts attract similar thoughts,” I
paused, blushing, “and people tend to attract people who
are similar to them.”
Beckham, despite having shit on his head, smiled. “I’m
familiar with the law of attraction, baby.” He kissed me
again. “I’m very familiar with it.”

OceanofPDF.com
K ids. Everywhere. Some were having their lunch break
and gawked at me as I passed through the hallways,
paper gripped in my hand with the number of the
class that I was searching for. The school had potential. It
was in a pretty area but the buildings looked aged as if they
weren’t taken care of. I’d been here before to coach some
young boys alongside some of my teammates. Just last
weekend, we concluded our third fundraiser, the coaching
session. No money had been raised, but we figured that
those kids deserved a chance at a sport they loved. Their
school didn’t offer hockey, so we volunteered to coach
them.
As I turned another corner, I saw a giant banner with my
team on it. I was in the middle, helmet in hand. On either
side of me were Sebastian and Grayson, followed by Oliver,
Jasper and Jai. Underneath it was; support our boys in the
fight for the Crosstown Cup!
I grinned at the sight of it. When I got to the classroom I
was looking for, I found it empty with a sign that said the
kids were on a lunch break. Confused, I tried to make my
way to the cafeteria, recognising the layout of the building.
After five minutes of wandering around like an idiot, I
found the big blue doors that spanned into the cafeteria.
More kids were gawking at me now, probably recognising
me from the banner. I found Poppy sitting in one corner,
her right foot propped up on a chair, and Julie sitting next
to her. The cafeteria went hushed as I entered but my focus
was on Poppy.
She looked up when she saw me, beaming. “They sent
you? I thought your match was taking place.”
Julie waved at me and I flicked her head affectionately
before responding to Poppy, “Ended an hour ago. Annie’s
got a shift, Nyx has class and Georgia’s at work. So, here I
am. Disappointed?” Poppy giggled, shaking her head. I
glanced at her bandaged foot. “So what exactly happened?”
“She tripped when we were lining up for class,” Julie
informed me, her words a murmur as she gesticulated for
me to drift closer. “Or better yet, someone tripped her.”
Poppy gasped at her best friend’s words, looking
apprehensive and peeping around at the attention we were
receiving.
One glower from me had everyone minding their own
business, and I scowled when demanding, “Who?” The two
girls stayed soundless and I turned to the blonde. “Who
tripped you, Poppy?”
I’d already heard from both her and her sisters that
she’d once had physiotherapy for a sprained right foot, and
currently, that same foot was swathed. When Nyx had
gotten the call from the principal to pick her sister up, he’d
apprised her that Poppy had tripped, and looking at the
blonde now, she didn’t tell the principal what actually
happened.
Poppy pouted, melancholy eyes glistening. “If I tell you,
you’re gonna cause a scene, Beck.”
I was damn right going to cause a fucking scene. She’d
just finished physiotherapy and some intellectual decided
to fucking trip her. Poppy’s injuries could’ve been much
more critical this time around.
I crossed my arms. “You decide. You can tell me who did
it or I can tell Nyx that somebody tripped you.” Her mouth
dropped open at my threat, spluttering. “Three seconds.
Choose.” She glanced at Julie, who nodded rapidly,
muttering to her that I was the better choice between me
and Nyx, along with the allusion to a prior situation with
somebody named Marcus. “One—”
“Poppy Watson,” she whined to me, checking if anyone
overheard her.
“There’s another Poppy?” I sought.
Julie nodded, seeing as her friend was currently
frantically examining the cafeteria. “Poppy Watson thinks
she’s the better Poppy.” I rolled my eyes because middle
school drama was weird as shit. “She isn’t because she’s
the one who’s vice-captain and our Poppy’s captain—”
“She’s on the team?” I interrupted, and they both
nodded. Fuck. The little bitch must’ve had the motive to
injure Poppy. “Do you by any chance have a match coming
up?”
Poppy frowned, looking down at her lap. “Yes. And lots
of high school coaches are going to be there. I was hoping
I’d be one of their picks for a scholarship.” Her voice broke.
She didn’t utter the rest of her thoughts, but I knew what
she meant. The scholarship would’ve made things easier
for her sisters.
And this other Poppy would be the centre of attention at
the match, having to stand in for her absent captain. Kids
could be fucking brutal.
After a few seconds of rigid silence, I spoke, “I’ll discuss
things with your sisters and Georgia.” Poppy shook her
head. “Because Poppy Watson won’t get away with this.
She hurt you.”
She shrugged. “It’s just a small sprain.”
 Her indifference scratched against my chest. The look
Julie gave me flagged that this was a regular occurrence;
Poppy backing down. I knew she was the bashful sister, the
quiet one, but this was something else. This was years of
conditioning by her dad. Swallowing the bullet of
obscenities launching up my throat, I sank to my knees,
planting my hands on Poppy’s shoulders.
“Listen to me,” I started gently, wanting her to take in
every word. “Nobody has the right to hurt you. Do you
understand me?” She wouldn’t meet my gaze and I
groaned, drawing her to my chest. Her arms stretched
around my neck, and I stood up, bringing her with me.
Poppy adhered to me, her face in the collar of my jacket.
I picked up her bag, hooking it over my shoulder. It was
only then that I noticed their table was empty.
“Where’s your lunch?” I urged, seeing everyone else
eating.
Julie smiled tensely. “Poppy Watson threw it in the
trash.”
My rage mounted and Poppy stayed still. I muttered
bitch underneath my breath and Julie let out a heartfelt
laugh as she fist-bumped me. I fled the cafeteria, feeling
everyone’s stare. Travelling back to the main office, I found
Poppy’s teacher; Ms Hentley. I signed the forms needed to
take Poppy.
Before I left, I stated, “In around ten minutes, there’ll be
a delivery for Julie Lowe from McDonald’s. Make sure she
gets it.” Ms Hentley nodded. And then I left, locating my
car in the parking lot.
When I put Poppy in the backseat, she strapped her
seatbelt as I hopped in, starting the car. Frantic to change
the topic, she queried, “How was the match?”
Meeting her stare in the rear view mirror, I smirked.
“We won.”
It was a close call between us and the Bruins, and
Benson had practically been quaking with trepidation.
Their team had gotten better in the past two weeks. I could
tell Benson was regretting giving us a week off, because
UCLA had unquestionably stayed training. But he also
knew how important it was for us to rest, to take a step
back.
We’d been one point ahead of the Bruins in the last few
minutes. If it hadn’t been for Grayson suspending their last
shot, it would’ve been a draw.
Poppy scoffed. “Of course you won.”
I grinned. “What’s that supposed to mean?” She pulled a
face and I chuckled. “Julie mentioned a Marcus. Wanna tell
me what happened there?”
She crimsoned, concealing her face with her hands. “I
hate confrontation.” I’d noticed. “I think two months ago,
this guy Marcus said Julie was really pretty. She was the
new girl and I guess he liked her.” She shrugged. “He said
he’d consider hanging out with her if she dropped me
because apparently, I’m ugly.” I wanted to say something,
but Poppy didn’t stop talking. “Which is natural coming
from somebody as good-looking as him, and I knew Julie
thought he was cute. I didn’t want her to choose—”
This girl was like her sister in more ways than just looks.
She would’ve let her best friend leave her in the dust if it
meant she was more content. Yes, they were still kids and
crushes at this age didn’t really mean anything, but it was a
significant glimpse into the sacrifices Poppy would make
when she was older.
“And how does Nyx fit into all of this?” I inquired,
remembering Julie mentioning her.
“Julie told her,” she grumbled and I laughed. Their
friendship would last for ages if they kept putting each
other first like that. “Annie’s usually the one who picks me
up and all the guys were crushing on her,” she paused,
rolling her eyes, “then they saw Nyxie.”
I smirked. “Understandable.”
 “Marcus forgot all about Julie and decided that
fantasising about my sister was better than actually
hanging out with my best friend, somebody he had a
chance with,” Poppy revealed. A swift gleam of amusement
arose on her features. “Nyxie confronted him in front of all
of his friends about calling me ugly.” Sounded like her. “She
said, and I quote; Poppy has always looked exactly like me.
Keep that in mind.”
Deep chuckles left me as Poppy reddened again. “From
what I’ve seen, your mom’s genes are super strong,” I told
her, weighing how much Nyx looked like their mom. The
latter had only looked older, more mature. But her features
had showcased that she’d once looked exactly like Nyx.
“And I’ve seen what Nyx looked like when she was your
age,” I appended.
“Like me,” Poppy mused. There was no way she was
ugly, the furthest thing from it. Her features at that
moment were only a mere hint to what she’d grow into in
the future.
I nodded. “Exactly. And I’m sure your mom looked the
same at that age. So, basically—”
“I’m gonna look like Nyxie at that age,” she concluded,
appearing disturbed by the knowledge. If Poppy didn’t like
attention now, she was going to have to get used to it. Nyx
garnered attention wherever she went, whether it was
because of her words or her looks, it didn’t matter.
Smiling to myself, I proceeded to drive as Poppy
panicked morosely about the fate of her looks. Despite the
stress of the day, she didn’t look too unhappy. Nyx may
have taken the news of their mom’s death the best, but
Poppy was a close second. Indigo didn’t really care, too
attached to her sisters and Georgia.
When I stopped at a red light, I promptly ordered Julie’s
food online. “You hungry?” I questioned Poppy.
But she wasn’t listening to me. “Maybe I should dye my
hair. Nyxie dyed her hair blue when she was my age.”
 “She what?” I urged through a laugh. Because of course
she’d dyed her hair blue. I ordered another huge meal to be
delivered to my place.
“My,” she cleared her throat, “parents were so upset.
But it turns out it was my grandma who bought the dye for
her.” Poppy shook her head with a smile. “At least, that’s
what Annie told me. I was only around five.”
I nearly swerved us right off the road. Ever since
meeting Ms Lewis at Project Burger, I hadn’t known how to
bring her up with Nyx. She’d never mentioned her before
and I was doubtful of whether there was bad blood or not.
“Your grandma?” I pressed, wheeling another corner.
“The one from the video the other night?”
“She was the best,” Poppy beamed, “from what I
remember. But I think she’s dead now.”
I tensed, because Annabelle Lewis was the furthest
thing from dead. It appeared I was correct in thinking that
she was estranged from her granddaughters. I didn’t want
to pry, but perhaps telling Nyx that I ran into her grandma
was the best idea.
“I bet you miss her,” I added, nodding my head as Nailea
passed me in her own car, sending me an excited wave and
I grinned.
Poppy was busy blowing kisses as Nailea disappeared
before she turned back to my question. “A lot. Grandma
would bring presents whenever my mom and dad were
fighting. Sometimes she tried to help but my mom would
yell at her.”
Hearing Poppy speak about her parents felt weird. She
was a child but had still lived through the same experiences
as her sisters. It always seemed like their parents were a
problem Annie and Nyx had to deal with, making them
sometimes forget that Poppy was old enough to understand
what went on.
“Your mom yelled when she tried to help?” I asked,
suppressing a curse when we got caught in traffic.
 She met my gaze in the mirror. “My mom did drugs,
Beck. If anyone tried to take it away from her, she lost it.”
Her lips tilted into a grimace as she paged through
memories. “Grandma tried to take it away. If given the
choice, I would’ve chosen Grandma over my mom.”
Seeing that traffic wasn’t moving at all, I turned slightly
so that I could look at her. The girl’s expression was a
mixture of emotions. “I’m sorry for asking,” I muttered,
sensing that the topic unnerved her.
But then her frown deepened, eyes looking confused. “I
should thank you for asking. Nyxie and Annie don’t really
talk about them to us. I know they’re trying to protect us,
but sometimes I have things to say, you know?”
The traffic began easing. “Things like what?” I offered
her the chance she so clearly wanted; if her gaze was
anything to go by.
“Like the fact that I’m glad my mom is dead, that we’re
away from my dad,” she said without taking a second to
ponder my question. “She was a bad person but she’s gone
now. But my dad’s still here and we’re still his kids.”
Hearing the trembling in her voice, I said, “You’re never
going to go back to him.” She gave me an appreciative
smile, leaning to look out the window. “And I’m sure your
sisters would love to hear your thoughts on what you think,
trust me.” She stayed smiling, muttering that she promised
to speak to them.
We drove for another five minutes before I pulled up at
my house. Poppy hopped onto my back so that I could carry
her inside. She laughed when I pretended to flatten her on
the couch. I was afraid the topic of her parents would upset
her but she seemed almost lighter after expressing some of
what she felt. I switched on the TV so she could be
entertained whilst we waited for our food. Once it arrived,
we didn’t wait another second to dig in.
“I love their fries,” Poppy told me, ramming her face full
of it. “If I could eat one thing for the rest of my life, it
would be fries. How about you?”
I nearly suffocated on my burger because the first thing
that popped into my head was Nyx. And I nearly said it out
loud. Clearing my throat to get rid of the lodged food, I
answered, “Burgers.”
Poppy nodded. “Good choice.”
My face was definitely red and I swallowed some soda to
calm down. The girl next to me didn’t pick up on my
flustered state, thankfully. She did, however, pick up on the
designs on my right arm after I took off my jacket. I knew
she’d noticed it before, but she never questioned it.
“Do any of your tattoos have meanings?”
If I had a dollar for every time a girl asked me that, I’d
be dripping in wealth. The tattoos on my arm consisted of
numerous drawings, some dates of special days. The
drawings weren’t anything personal, just things I found
cool. When I told Poppy this, she sighed in displeasure. It
was the general reaction I got when I revealed my tattoos
held no significance.
“I love the crescent moon,” she said absentmindedly,
pointing to the little drawing on my right wrist. “When did
you get it?”
“Last year, I think.”
She pushed more fries into her mouth. “Did you know
that the crescent moon is the symbol of the primordial
goddess of the night? Nyx was her name.”
I turned my attention to the TV and responded, “No, I
didn’t know that.” But judging by the smirk Poppy wore,
she knew I was lying.
Tossing another fry into her mouth, she asked, “Do you
love Nyxie?”
Unlike before when Indigo had brought up the topic of
love, it didn’t take me by surprise this time. In fact, it was
like part of me was eagerly waiting for others to know.
My words left me smoothly. “With all that I am.”
 She glimpsed at me, nose crinkling as she phrased her
next words. “Does that mean you love us by extension?”
The sound of the TV faded into background noise when I
noticed how seriously she took her own inquiry. I thought of
how to phrase my answer.
“Not by extension,” I corrected, watching her pale
brows furrow in confusion. “Individually.”
The grin that she sent me was absolutely angelic. I felt
blessed to be on the receiving end of a genuine smile from
Poppy Taylor. Their dad didn’t deserve something this
beautiful, a love this pure.
Gently moving her leftovers to the coffee table, she
launched herself into my hold, face finding the collar of my
shirt as I wrapped my arms around her. Her eyes were
closed, smile still on her lips. When tears began leaking
from her eyes, she buried her face in my shirt to hide her
emotions, and I took that as my cue to not question her.
She stayed like that until she fell asleep, the day’s activities
finally catching up to her. In fear of waking her, I stayed
like that for the next two hours, watching whatever was on
the TV.
When Annie came home, Indigo was at her side, excited
to be spending the rest of the day with her older sister
before they returned to Georgia’s place. The youngest
Taylor dashed to the room Annie was staying in, ignoring
my presence completely. Annie, on the other hand, stopped
at the sight of the sleeping girl in my arms.
She sent me the same grin that her blonde baby sister
had. At my confused look, she murmured, “Matthew Taylor
doesn’t give hugs.”
Then she followed Indigo. It was a simple statement but
it struck me deep. I glanced down at a softly snoring Poppy,
comprehending that she’d never been hugged by a man
that cared for her before. At the painful realisation, I
pressed a kiss to her forehead.
I didn’t love them by extension, that was the truth.
 Each Taylor girl was unique in their own way, different
personalities and quirks that pulled you in. They didn’t
deserve to be grouped together when it came to love. Their
lack of it was enough of a reason to emphasise how much
they deserved it individually.
And later, when a tired Indigo forced herself to my side,
I held her in the same way my dad had held me when he
put me to sleep as a child. The smile on her face as she fell
asleep was a reward all on its own. If a smile from a Taylor
girl could evoke such happiness within somebody—their
love was a gift that few deserved.
Matthew and Eliza Taylor were idiots that didn’t know
what treasures they had. They’d sought to bury them. Then
along came an asshole with love he confused for hatred and
a shovel in the form of persistence. He’d dug and dug,
striving to find the blonde treasure he desired. He’d
unearthed more than he anticipated, bringing treasures to
light that could be cherished by him, his friends and family.
I’d never been more relieved to be that persistent
asshole.

“A themed costume party?” Jai echoed, browsing through

the page Nyx just delivered him. The entire first team was
seated around our regular table at the cafeteria, being
assembled by Nyx to discuss a few things. Four days after
our match on Monday and everyone was still high on the
win.
Oliver seized the paper, eyes skimming its content.
“Sounds fun.”
Jai glared at him, because before Nyx arrived, Oliver
had agreed with his plan. To beg for a different fundraiser.
“What happened to our plan?” he urged the redhead who
passed the paper to Grayson.
 “This sounds better,” Oliver countered.
“I was thinking more of a car wash,” Jai maintained,
snubbing his teammate. Jasper snorted at his insistence,
and Sebastian nodded along. Grayson, however, was the
only one reading the paper properly, examining it even.
Nyx stopped her stroll around the table, her dress
whisking against the very top of her thighs. It was a risky
dress, a deep green that made her look like Tinkerbell. The
little bun on her head added to the appearance. As it
neared the end of winter, it was absolutely boiling outside.
If I could crawl out of my skin, I would.
As promised to Poppy, I made sure that Nyx wouldn’t go
and confront Poppy Watson. Instead, the volleyball coach,
class teacher and principal would handle the situation. She
hadn’t been a happy bunny when finding out somebody had
hurt her sister. Though, I was happy to help her get rid of
her stress.
“Why?” Nyx probed, levelling Jai with that icy gaze of
hers. “If you want to see me all wet, just ask.”
I scowled, but Jai reacted instantly. “Your pussy’s
overrated.”
Just as fast she stated, “You’re only saying that because
you can’t have it.” Then, as if completely brushing off his
existence, she proceeded with her meeting. “Tickets will go
on sale tomorrow and the actual event will be held next
week Friday, five days before your next match.”
Grayson looked up from the paper. “It’s Annie’s
birthday.” Nyx nodded, grinning as she stopped next to
him. “So you’re trying to kill two birds with one stone? A
fundraiser and birthday party for Annie in one.”
“The fundraiser is the perfect way to keep it a surprise.
She can’t know that this is anything other than a
fundraiser,” Nyx glared at all of us, daring us to tell Annie
of her plans. “The money made from the tickets is going to
the Angelica neighbourhood which, for those of you who
don’t know, suffered a major fire last week. Many families
are left with close to nothing and whatever we make will
help them try to get back into the swing of things. How
does that sound?” Everyone nodded. “Good, we—”
She was stopped by the approach of Professor Coleman,
who taught French, if I remembered correctly. He was a
small and round man with a balding head, always dressed
in glossy shoes and pressed suits.
His throat being cleared dragged our attention. “Good
afternoon, boys,” he acknowledged the team before laying
his dull eyes on Nyx. “Miss Taylor.”
I watched them eye each other and I groaned, already
predicting an argument. The older man had a habit of
pissing off the girls at our school.
“Professor Coleman,” she granted him an obviously
fraudulent smile. “If you don’t mind, we’re kinda in the
middle of something. A meeting, actually.”
Professor Coleman grinned just as plastically. “So I’m an
interruption, how ironic. The reason I’m interrupting, Ms
Taylor, is that I’ve received some grievances about your
choice of outfit today.”
Oliver passed Jasper some money and I scoffed at the
thought of them betting on Nyx getting in trouble for her
outfit. There was no dress code, not at fucking college. But
Professor Coleman had been trying, for the past year, to
implement one.
Nyx raised a brow. “And who exactly complained?” She
didn’t get a response. “Or is that just a euphemism for you
can’t keep it in your pants around a woman more than half
your age?” She glimpsed down at her dress. “I’m nineteen
years old, Professor. I find it highly inappropriate for you to
be ogling me—”
“That’s enough, Miss Taylor,” he yelped, bridling at the
attention being turned to him. “What I’m doing is my job.
The rule I’m trying to implement is for the benefit of our
students. The amount of skin you’re showing has proven to
be a distraction to many of your fellow male students—”
 I tipped my head, glowering at the man. “So, you’re
telling me that her clothes determine whether we get any
learning done?” He returned my glare for interceding. “So
I’m more entitled to education than her? Is that what
you’re implying, Professor?” Sebastian was smirking at the
man’s red face.
Grayson raised a hand, mocking the man’s title as a
professor. “And also, if you haven’t noticed, it’s scorching
outside. Did you expect her to wear a tracksuit? If her
dress makes you uncomfortable,” Grayson chuckled, “with
all due respect, Professor, I’m pretty sure you’re the
problem.”
Nyx grinned before looking at a stuttering Professor
Coleman. I didn’t feel bad for him. He’d been a problem for
some time now and many faculty members were hoping
that his dress code idea would vanish over time.
Clearly not.
“I’m doing my job,” he maintained, “either you follow
the rules or leave.”
Nyx crossed her arms obstinately. Jasper feigned a gasp.
“Holy shit. She’s got skin, can you believe it? It’s too much
for me.” He fanned his face and Oliver snickered. “Nyx, I’m
ready to leave my boyfriend because you, darling, have got
skin capable of making a gay man straight.”
I smirked, running a hand over my stubble. I’d give it
three more minutes before Coleman was running away with
his tail tucked between his legs. A regular occurrence when
he tried telling the women of USC what to wear.
“Disrespecting a professor,” Coleman mused. “Any more
of this and you’ll all be banned from the next few games.”
Jai nearly leapt out of his seat. “Miss Taylor,” he ventured
again, exasperated, but Nyx wasn’t backing down. “I’m
sure many of these people, myself included, could do
without having to see the flesh of your ass each time you
bend over—”
 In a flash, I was out of my seat, seizing Coleman by the
front of his preciously steamed shirt. I shoved him back,
towering over him and stifling the urge to crush his face
against the table. “And why exactly are you talking about
my girlfriend’s ass, Professor?”
“Beck,” Nyx whispered in concern, placing a hand on my
back. Even the guys were staring at me in dread. Taunting
a professor was one thing, but physically threatening one
could lead to expulsion. And for me, it could mean the
stripping of my title as the captain of the hockey team. But
Coleman was essentially harassing Nyx, a habit that he
maintained under the guise that he was disciplining.
Coleman was nearly foaming at the mouth. “Get your
hands off me, Mr Hunt.” My hands had a mind of their own,
contracting around him and hauling him closer.
“Not only are you blaming her for the perception of the
surrounding students, but this immortalises rape culture,” I
groused, tugging at his azure tie. “And you know what I
find fucking weird? No other professor has approached her
about her outfit. You’re not the only one here. If students
had a problem, there’s more than one professor to go to.
The fact that you are here reprimanding her means that
you are the one staring at her ass, you are the one who
can’t concentrate because you’re too busy sexualising the
body of a student who came dressed appropriately to the
weather. She didn’t put that dress on this morning with the
intention of making you come in your fucking pants,
Professor. She wore it because it’s warm outside.”
“Mr Hunt—” Releasing him, I stepped back, swearing
when I realised many students were filming the entire
ordeal. My team looked anxious, but I couldn’t care, not
when Coleman was still in one piece. “Your actions are
going to have major consequences.” He glanced at
Sebastian. “I suggest you learn to be in charge for the next
few weeks, Mr Hayes, because your captain is going to be
unavailable. Twenty days, to be exact.” I didn’t react, but
Nyx seemed to be struggling to decide whether she wanted
to kiss me or kick me in the nuts. “Miss Taylor, you are to
go to Dean Waverly’s office for failing to agree to change
your inappropriate outfit.”
I wanted to strike his teeth out but Grayson pulled me
back. Because I’d already worsened things for our team.
Dean Waverly wouldn’t even do anything. She’d merely
apologise for the inconvenience. I hoped that they’d fire
Coleman at this point, that this was the final straw.
Nyx scowled at the man. “So, my dress is the problem,
then?”
Coleman clapped condescendingly. “I see you’ve got a
brain after all—” He stopped speaking, probably stopped
breathing. And I’m pretty sure we all did. Nyx clutched the
hem of her dress and yanked it over her head, flinging it at
the older man’s chest. She stood in her sneakers and black
panties with a matching strapless bra.
“You want my underwear too?” she provoked. There
were hickeys on the swells of her breasts and lower
stomach, remnants of our time in the storage closet earlier.
When he didn’t speak, she turned around, offering a
generous view of her ass that sported hickeys as well. The
guys whistled, tossing me amused glances. Before she left,
she glimpsed at me. “You called me your girlfriend. Is that
your way of asking?” She was smirking.
I shrugged. “What better way of saying I want to date
you than by tossing around the professor that’s leering at
you?” I told her with a grin, overlooking the fact that
Benson was going to be beyond fucking pissed.
“How romantic,” she nodded to herself and then left,
eyes on her until her presence was no longer in the
cafeteria. Just as she passed through the doors, she raised
her middle fingers at Coleman.
The older man tensed when he apprehended people
were still filming. He threw the dress at me. “Make sure
she puts that back on.”
 “I’m suspended,” I reminded him. “You have no
authority over me so I don’t have to do anything you
fucking say.” With a twitching eye, he left through a
different door, steam practically coming out of his ears,
nose and ass. When he left, I faced Sebastian’s gaze. I saw
uncertainty. Until we sorted this situation, I was no longer
part of the team. “Time to pull up your socks, Captain.”
Without saying anything else, I bunched Nyx’s dress in
my hands and followed the path to Dean Waverly’s office.
The area was barren, the receptionist behind her desk. I
ignored her and peeked into the office. Only Nyx was there,
seated with her arms crossed and an enraged pout on her
face.
“Where’s Waverly?” I asked, shutting the door behind
me.
Her eyes shot to mine. “You’re at peak dumbass.
Benson’s gonna be so pissed at you.”
“In a choice of who I’d want pissed at me between you
and Benson, I’d pick Benson any day,” I responded, taking a
walk around the office. “Where’s Waverly?” I reiterated my
question.
Nyx shrugged. “She just went into a meeting and I have
to wait until she’s finished.” She spotted the dress in my
hands and rolled her eyes. “He’s so unnecessary. What even
was the point?” When she stood up, I tilted back against
the desk, watching her approach me. “You racked up some
serious points with me, by the way. All of the boys did.”
There was a proud look in her eyes. Those guys had
come a long way, going from taunting her to standing up
for her at the first sign of a threat.
I placed my hands on her hips, pulling her closer as I
muttered, “As long as they don’t get to redeem their points
in the same way I do.” She laughed, arms going around my
neck. Slowly, my hands slid down, towing at her underwear.
Her dress was on the desk next to me. “Maybe you should
put some clothes on,” I advised, wondering what the dean
would think if she saw her sitting in her office wearing only
underwear.
She tilted her head, fingers encountering the button of
my jeans. “Or you could lose some of yours?” Her lips were
suddenly against the skin of my neck and my grip on her
tightened. “Waverly’s gonna be away for a while and,” she
murmured, nibbling my skin, “I’m in the mood to fuck my
boyfriend.”
And there went my restraint.
After so long of not being able to have Nyx Taylor fully,
she was mine. My dad would be disappointed in me,
honestly. I had zero self-discipline when it came to Nyx,
none whatsoever. With a teasing smirk, she unzipped my
pants as I pressed my lips to hers in a bruising kiss. She
moaned into my mouth when I eased my hands underneath
her bra, tweaking the flesh in my hand. I felt her fingers
teasing the skin above my waistband.
“If we get caught, I’m blaming you,” I mumbled against
her lips. She let out a faint, moaning gasp when my tongue
intertwined with hers. We parted for a few seconds so I
could tug my t-shirt off.
“If we get caught, we’re probably gonna get arrested by
your dad,” she quipped and I pinched her ass in retaliation,
not wanting to think about my dad when I was about to
fuck her. She was grinding against me, eagerly pressing
herself close whilst I dug into my back pocket, my hand
trembling as I pulled out my wallet. “Beck,” she complained
in annoyance at me taking too long.
I chuckled, pulling a condom from the wallet. “What?
Scared we’re gonna get caught?”
Her eyes were defiant, seizing the condom from me and
ripping it open. I picked her up, placing her on the desk
and she lowered her panties. She watched me with dazed
eyes as I dropped my jeans and boxers, sliding on the
condom.
 My hands smoothed up her silky thighs and she moaned,
tossing her head back. Swiftly, I pushed forward, feeling
her warmth swallow me and I groaned. If we got caught,
there was no way I’d even be able to stop. My senses were
overwhelmed by all things Nyx. I couldn’t see outside of
what was happening between us, couldn’t hear more than
her precious moans, couldn’t see more than the look of
pure need in her eyes.
A stuttered breath left her and she gripped my
shoulders, nails digging into the skin there. She mewled
and I moved deeper until I bottomed out. My stomach was
clenched and I kissed her again, allowing her to adjust to
my size. When I began rocking my hips, she moaned and I
buried my face in her neck, gradually finding my rhythm.
“Shit, right there,” she murmured, clenching around me.
“Oh God, please don’t stop.”
She slid further on the desk, papers flying to the ground
as I fucked her. Her legs curved around me, shaking when I
found the perfect angle.
“Fuck, baby,” I hissed, rubbing her clit with my thumb
and she trembled.
There was rustling outside and we froze. Nyx spoke first.
“Speed this up, bro.”
“My dick is literally inside you and you’re calling me
bro?” I questioned.
“I’m gonna be calling you my ex if you don’t get me off
right now.” Her words sounded like a threat but she was
grinning. I pulled out of her and in one move, I spun her
around, pressing her ass against me. “Okay, wow.” Her
surprise was evident when I pushed her flat against the
table, my hand pressed between her shoulder blades.
She wriggled at my teasing touches, knowing that I was
doing it on purpose. I angled myself at her entrance, hands
grasping her hips. On the first thrust, I forced myself as
deep as I could, quelling a loud groan. Unable to help
myself, I leaned over, biting the skin of her shoulders to
leave my mark. Her dress was backless, and I was filled
with a sense of satisfaction at the thought of everyone
seeing what I’d done to her.
Nyx was biting her hand, whimpering at the intrusion.
Swallowing roughly, I questioned, “You okay there, bro?”
“Asshole,” she swore, but her words came out as a
whine when I moved again, fucking her harder.
I spread her cheeks, watching myself disappear inside of
her. “I see your asshole. Want me to stuff that too?” She
didn’t get to respond because I grasped her hair, gripping
the strands as I pounded my hips against hers. “Fuck
yourself on me, Nyx,” I grumbled, tugging her up so that
her back was pressed against my chest. I kept a hand over
her mouth as she slammed herself back on me, her head
falling back in ecstasy. “Jesus. So fucking tight.”
Feeling her tense around me, I knew she was close,
knew she was experiencing that tightening sensation deep
in her stomach. “Oh my God, Beck, I’m gonna—”
“All over my cock, baby,” I groaned. “Do it.” Her name
was a guttural sound tumbling from my mouth as I
ploughed myself deeper, spilling inside the condom whilst
Nyx spasmed around me. “Fuck.” I pulled out, spinning her
around so that I could kiss her. Our mouths were sloppy
against each other. “Can’t believe you made me fuck you in
the dean’s office,” I murmured, making her smile. “Guess
I’m not a moral citizen anymore.”
She was dazed again, barely able to stand on her own
and I wanted to laugh. A few moments of silence passed,
filled with us trying to catch our breath.
“Do you think it feels like this for me because you’re my
first?” Her question made my heart stop. “I mean, there’s
been others after you but nothing felt like this. How it feels
with you.”
I couldn’t even be jealous, knowing that the others
didn’t even come close to me. There was more rustling
outside and I could hear the receptionist trying to keep
somebody at bay. Nyx gasped, shoving me away and I
quickly pulled up my pants, hastily pulling my shirt over my
head. Nyx slipped into her dress as I knotted the condom,
keeping it out of view.
The receptionist was arguing with someone and I turned
to Nyx. “I think it’s just us,” I responded to her previous
question and she squinted in confusion. “I mean, you
weren’t my first, but everything I feel when I’m with you,” I
kissed her pout, “makes me certain you’re gonna be my
last. I love you.”
She smiled. “I love you too, asshole.”
The door opened and Coleman walked in, wrinkling his
nose. He eyed our dishevelled appearances and scowled. I
stepped away from Nyx, walking past him.
“If you were ever worried about her seeking male
validation by wearing her outfits,” I held up her panties,
“now you know she doesn’t need it.” Nyx gasped in the
background and Coleman turned red. I smirked, looking at
Nyx who was trying to tug down the hem of her dress,
realising she hadn’t put her panties back on. “See you later,
baby.”

OceanofPDF.com
T he light was just beginning to seep through the
curtains, casting a golden glow right onto my face. The
room back at my dad’s place had always been dark,
the window at an awkward angle that didn’t allow any
sunshine to peek through. My dad’s place. It felt good, no
longer having to refer to that hellhole as my home. This
was a new book, let alone a new chapter of my life, and my
dad was no longer a character that existed in this story.
I hummed sleepily, feeling a heavy arm wrapped around
my waist and keeping me pressed against a firm chest.
Warmth, I felt it all around me. And I loved it. Beckham was
still asleep behind me, and I took a moment to bask in the
heat that he radiated. Waking up like this, it was something
that I had to get used to. I wasn’t complaining at all,
though. The only complaint I had was Sebastian sometimes
bringing girls over and then fucking them at odd hours, his
headboard banging against the wall.
Then again, he had to deal with me and Beckham. Poor
Grayson. And poor Annie too, although she spent most of
her nights at Beth’s new apartment.
 Trying, and failing, to dispel my sleep, I wiggled slightly
to get some life into my limbs. A deep groan rumbled from
behind me.
I snorted, a laugh getting stuck in my throat as I felt
something digging into my ass. That was enough to wake
me up, having the same effect as three cups of coffee and a
dip into an ice-cold pool. Testing the waters, I moved again.
The groan was slightly louder, and Beckham moved closer,
pressing his pelvis into me. This time, it was my own groan
I had to curb. The arm that was at my waist moved higher,
a hand suddenly gripping my braless breast. He squeezed,
hips simultaneously jutting forward, and I bit my lip.
Well, somebody was having a very good dream.
His hips moved again, and I whimpered, wondering
whether I should wake him or not. Before I could say
anything, his lips were at my ear. “Morning, baby.”
I could hear the smile in his rough voice, and it
triggered my own. “Do you always wake up with a raging
boner or am I being treated extra special?”
He squeezed my breast again, finger running lightly
across my nipple. “This raging boner is your fault.” I
smothered a laugh, the sound turning into a breathy moan
when he pressed his hips against me again. “Now are you
gonna be a good girl and take care of the problem you
caused?”
With my shirt bunched at my waist, his hand was
suddenly in my panties, fingers making quick work of my
already throbbing clit. “Beck,” I mumbled his name,
throwing my head back and feeling his lips meet my neck.
“Shit.”
When a singular finger probed my entrance, Beckham
chuckled, his voice still gravelly with sleep. “Do you always
wake up this wet or am I being treated extra special?”
“Asshole,” I hissed, clenching my legs when he added
another finger.
 Beckham hummed. “Maybe. But the difference between
you and me is that I fully intend to take care of this
problem.” He pressed a gentle kiss to my jaw. “And I’m
going to enjoy it.” He slipped his boxers down, grinding his
bare cock against my ass as he fingered me faster. “God,
you have no fucking idea what you do to me.”
I tossed an arm back to grasp his head, keeping his face
buried in my neck as I worked my ass against him. “Oh.” A
complaint formed in my throat when he moved away to
reach for a condom. The minute it was on him, I tried to
straddle him, but he tutted. “Beck,” I moaned.
He laughed against my jaw, slowly rolling us over so that
he was between my legs. Not a word left his mouth as he
pushed my shirt up further, quickly running his tongue over
a peaked nipple. I squirmed underneath him as I framed his
hips with my legs
“You’re so fucking perfect,” he muttered, leaving a
hickey on the breast he was currently fondling. That pulled
another moan from me, only widening his arrogant smile.
He leaned back slightly before dropping a kiss to my lips.
“I’m so in love with you.”
The fluttering sensation rose in my chest, and I held him
tighter, fingers playing with the hair at his nape. “Fucking
whipped,” I teased. “You’re lucky I love you too.”
Those were the last coherent words I could get out
before he slowly entered me, gently rocking his hips. Then I
was breathless, clinging to him with everything that I had
as he maintained that slow pace.
“Shit,” he swore, breathing deeply when I clenched
around him. One of his hands slid underneath me, taking a
handful of my ass to press me closer to him. The new angle
allowed his thrusts to hit a deeper part of me, one that had
me clawing at his back. I loved the feeling of him inside me,
on top of me, against me.
I loved him so much.
 With my legs around him as he murmured his love for
me in my ear, I knew this was what all those poets wrote
about. This feeling. Whatever Beckham made me feel was
something people spent years searching for, something
poets agonised over, trying to find the right words to
describe. As beautiful as those poems could be, they didn’t
hold a candle to the actual feeling. Nothing ever would.
It was unparalleled.
My eyes rolled to the back of my head when he buried
himself as deep as he could go. We could’ve stayed like that
for hours. Time felt non-existent. My body jerked with
every push of his hips. I was close, could feel it. And I could
feel he was close too. My back arched as I practically
sobbed his name when my release eventually hit me. His
mouth deadened the scream that wanted to escape, and I
felt him shudder atop me as he came. We stayed like that,
both too dazed to move.
I stroked his hair, feeling his stubble tickle my neck. “I
love you,” he said, sounding sleepy again and I wanted to
laugh.
“I love you too,” I muttered, my smile nearly taking over
my entire face. After a few minutes, Beckham pulled out of
me and moved to get rid of the condom. Sleep called us
both soon after and we welcomed it.
The sun was a little more aggressive when I awoke later,
and I rolled out of bed whilst trying my best to not wake
Beckham. Locking myself in the bathroom, I quickly
freshened up and got dressed. The smell of scrambled egg
was wafting through the house, and I was desperate to get
to whoever was in the kitchen.
Once I was done, I made my way downstairs; still
somewhat amazed at how easily I’d adapted to this house
and mornings with Beckham. Annie’s birthday and the
fundraiser had passed by in the blink of an eye. It felt like
time was moving faster now that we were no longer in my
dad’s presence. Living with the boys was better than I
expected.
Annie and, surprisingly, Sebastian would take turns
cooking dinner. The latter was the son of a well-known chef,
a piece of information nobody had deemed important
enough to tell me.
The truth was in his meals though.
Beth would join us most nights, and I found myself
drawn to her bubbly personality. I could see why Annie
liked her so much. She was a literal breath of fresh air, and
it was beyond entertaining to watch Sebastian get irritated
by her constant smile. Even now, the blonde angel was
glaring at me as I sipped at my water—and I was enjoying
it.
“The fuck are you smiling for?” he asked, moving around
me to get a tin of soda from the fridge.
“Sebastian, don’t be rude,” Annie scolded, distributing
the scrambled egg into different plates. She’d taken on the
role of mother hen, to nobody’s surprise. I snorted at the
disappointed stare she gave him, to which he responded
with a huff. Being older than all the boys by three years,
she had the motherly authority they couldn’t oppose.
I smirked. “Yeah, Sebastian. Don’t be rude.”
Annie’s glare turned to me. “Nyx,” she uttered
disapprovingly, causing Sebastian to snort. I grimaced,
leaning back against the counter. “Stop provoking him.”
It was Sebastian’s turn to smirk. He flicked my head as
he left the kitchen and I suppressed the urge to throw him
with a plate.
Once he was gone, I looked at my sister. “Aren’t you
supposed to be on my side?”
She laughed, turning back to preparing breakfast. “I’m
on nobody’s side. And you really need to stop pestering
him. Gosh, you’re like Indie when she went through that
phase of yanking Poppy’s hair.”
 The memory brought a smile to my face. “We’re having
them this weekend, right?” I asked, trying to figure out if I
had my dates correct.
Although they were staying with Georgia, the girls,
including Julie, would spend some days with us. I for sure
thought the boys would be annoyed with so many girls in
the house, but it didn’t faze them at all. In fact, it had been
Grayson’s idea so that we could spend more time with
them.
Annie nodded, sparing me a quick glance. “We’ve got
Mom’s funeral this weekend too.”
My smile dropped. “We’re going to that?” Immediately, I
winced at how heartless my words sounded. But it was too
late, Annie’s frown was in place. “I didn’t mean it like that.
It’s just, I don’t exactly want to go, Annie.”
Her gaze was understanding. “You don’t have to. But I
also don’t want it to seem like Indie and Poppy shouldn’t go
because we don’t want to—”
“You know Poppy doesn’t want to,” I interjected,
reminding her of the conversation we’d had with her. We’d
been so focused on protecting the girls that we’d forgotten
Poppy had her own thoughts about our situation, thoughts
she’d recently made very clear. “And Indie doesn’t even
know her,” I added.
Annie placed the pan in the sink before she looked at
me. “Then who’s going to be there?”
The question made my muscles tense. My mom had
nobody. She was cut off from our grandma, had no friends
and her daughters didn’t want to attend. I waited for the
sympathy to hit me, but it never did.
“I’m not going,” I informed her, my decision final. She
nodded, not looking upset at all. “She wasn’t a mother to
us. If she had been, I would’ve attended.”
“I know,” Annie murmured. “I’m not attending because
I’m her daughter. I’m attending because if I don’t, there’ll
be nobody else there.” Her smile was slightly teasing. “I’m
taking one for the team because I know neither of us wants
that on our conscience, that our mom’s funeral was
attended by nobody.”
She didn’t say anything else, beginning to place bread in
the toaster. I pushed off the counter, eyeing her for a
second.
“Mom never deserved you.” I watched her tense, but by
the time she turned around, I was already leaving the
kitchen.
My feet led me to Beckham’s room, the space we were
currently sharing. I wasn’t surprised by what I saw. His bed
was made already because Beckham Hunt was a fucking
neat freak. Everything he did was so precise, even when it
came to cleaning his room. Each object had a place where
it stood and if it wasn’t there, Beckham would flip.
He was standing at the window when I entered, just
ending a call. Because he was only wearing sweatpants, I
could see the marks I’d left on his back earlier this
morning, and I grinned.
When he spotted me, he grimaced. “That was Rick,” he
said, referencing the owner of Project Burger. “Still no sign
of an Annabelle Lewis.”
I pulled a face, plopping on the edge of the bed and
ignoring the slight ache between my legs. When Beckham
had first told me that he’d ran into my grandma, I hadn’t
believed him. We hadn’t heard from the woman in five
years and her running into my boyfriend of all people? It
didn’t seem believable. My doubts only became heightened
after what he just said.
“You sure it was her?” I asked probably for the
hundredth time since he’d first told me.
He rolled his eyes and I tossed a pillow at his face. “Yes,
I’m sure. It was the exact woman from the video you
played. Rick promised that he’d keep an eye out for her.”
“Did she know who you were?” I questioned, trying to
figure out why the fuck my grandma had been talking to
him. He shrugged, mentioning that he’d told her my name.
“It’s not a very common name,” I offered hopelessly. “She
had to know who you were. And it can’t be a coincidence
that she’s back after her daughter fucking overdosed. It’s
almost like she expected it.”
Beckham neatly placed his pillow back and I hid the
urge to laugh. And the urge to mess up the pillows again,
just to piss him off. “You think she’s going to the funeral?
Maybe you can speak to her there.”
I shook my head. “After my aunt’s passing, my mom
went downhill and my grandma wasn’t willing to be
dragged along. She’d lost both daughters a long time ago,
there’s no need for her to attend this funeral.” The same
expression of defeat that I wore appeared on Beckham’s
face. I poked his cheek. “Don’t stress about it. She’ll pop up
eventually.”
He pulled me into his arms suddenly, looking
determined. “From what Poppy’s told me, she’s always
been good to you girls. Your Uncle Robbie might be gone,
but your grandma’s still here. More than anything, you
need somebody like her in your life.”
I leaned into him, inhaling the fresh scent that he
carried and realising that in the ten minutes I’d been
downstairs, he’d already taken a fucking shower. The man
was a morning person like no other, getting shit done the
moment his eyes opened. I didn’t know whether to hate it
or love it.
I brushed my nose gently against his. “It’s not a need,” I
told him, running my fingers through his damp hair. “Not
when we’ve already got you and the boys. And Nailea. And
Georgia.” His lips barely touched mine. “And Beth,” I
added, making him laugh. “What?”
“You fucking hated Beth at some point,” he said,
pinching my leg and I smacked his shoulder.
“No, I didn’t—”
“You did.”
 “No, I didn’t—”
He scoffed, looking offended that I would even argue.
“You were jealous, baby. Admit it.”
My lips pursed. “Jealous? As if.” The asshole was fucking
smiling. I tried to get out of his arms, but he only held me
tighter. “Let go of me, loser.”
Beckham nipped the skin at my jaw. “Not until you admit
you were jealous.”
“I was not jealous,” I grumbled, quickly trying to think of
something. “I was angry because you were annoying and
Beth just happened to be standing in the shooting range.”
He raised a brow. “Nice excuse.”
“Fuck you,” I laughed, managing to fall out of his hold.
He didn’t let me get far though, immediately enveloping his
arms around my waist and pulling me back to his chest.
“Beckham.”
“When did you realise?” he whispered, spinning me
around so I could look up at him.
I gripped his biceps, trying to hide my smile. “I had my
suspicions after our first meeting. There was more sexual
tension between me and her during that one argument than
you and her probably during your entire friendship.”
He stole a quick kiss from me. “I don’t know how I never
noticed it. Even my mom knew.”
Sensing the subtle shame he carried at not knowing or
noticing more about his friend, I said, “I don’t think Beth
knew fully either.”
Annie had told me what her mom was like, a despicable
woman who sought to control her daughter’s sexuality. It
had made her question what she felt, compared it to what
her mom told her she was supposed to feel. That only led to
a lot of confusion, confusion that Annie had helped her to
unravel.
“I’m glad she’s happy,” he continued. “That they both
are.” He kissed me again. “And you. And your sisters. You
all deserve it.” Another kiss.
 I rolled my eyes at his dorky smile, but it only mirrored
my own. Because I could feel his own happiness, and
knowing that it was fuelled by mine—yeah, there was
definitely a poem somewhere out there about this feeling.

OceanofPDF.com
I was a demanding man and it had gotten me into many
rough tangles before. Even my dad had told me to try
and extinguish the monster. I tried to, and I succeeded.
At least, that was what I thought. As a captain, I was used
to getting my way. And it was never personal demands. I
only wanted the best for my team.
Naturally, I felt the same way about Nyx. I wanted her to
speak to me instead of bottling all of her emotions. With
her dad still on the run, she was completely out of it. There
was so much fear surrounding her; fear for what Matthew
Taylor would do while in hiding. He could pounce on them
when they least expected it. My dad and his team had said
they had it under control and I believed them. But I could
see Nyx felt guilty about making her problem everyone
else’s. The thought alone was stupid and I didn’t know how
to make her see that she deserved to be helped. Not only
was she and her sisters important to us, but it was the right
thing to do.
The rink was empty, although it would only be another
three hours before our fourth match against the Bruins
would commence. Sebastian was all too keen to relinquish
the title of the captain back to me. For an egotistical guy,
he really had zero confidence in himself when it came to
captaining. He was great at it, but he was wasting too
much time in my shadow. He wanted to be there, veiling his
talents. Something needed to be done about that.
Jasper strolled past me, holding a bottle of water in his
hands. “What’s up with Nyx?” he asked underneath his
breath.
And that was what had been tormenting me for the past
few days. I’d applaud her because she was striving to give
everyone the impression that nothing was wrong.
I shrugged. “No idea.”
He stared at me for a moment, but then made his way
over to Oliver. I kept my eyes on him before turning away,
swearing quietly.
“Beck,” Grayson called my name, stopping next to me.
“Benson wants to run through one last exercise with me.
Do you mind picking Annie and Beth up?” My eyes caught
Nyx, snuggled up to Jasper’s side. “They’ve got a shift right
now but they should be done in about twenty minutes.
Beck?”
“Yeah, I’ll go get them—”
“But they still have another twenty minutes on their
shift—”
“I’ll wait,” I cut him off, marching to the locker room to
get my car keys.
The noise in the rink was beginning to give me a
headache and I just wanted to leave. Add the fact that I felt
like the worst boyfriend ever. Once outside, I hopped into
my car and made my way to Daisy’s Delicacies. I hoped the
drive would ease my nerves.
It didn’t.
With an exasperated groan, I parked the car and jumped
out, feeling like my body was on fire. But then I stopped,
breath seizing in my throat. Because there, to the side of
the building, was Annie caught in a heated discussion with
Annabelle Lewis.
It was Ms Lewis that noticed me first. “Beckham Hunt,”
she stated in an amused tone. “I hear you’ve been looking
for me.”
When Annie located me, her eyes widened to threefold
their size and for a second, it looked like she was about to
start hyperventilating.
“How the hell did you find her?” I questioned Annie,
ignoring the smile Ms Lewis was wearing.
“She literally just showed up a few minutes ago,” was
her rejoinder. It seemed like she was still trying to come to
terms that I hadn’t imagined meeting their grandma and
was, in fact, telling the truth.
I turned back to the older woman, seeing her casually
leaning against the wall. “Did you know who I was?”
She smirked. “Of course I did.”
“And you knew I was looking for you?” I threw in
another question.
This time, she shook her head. “No, actually. I always
planned to come and speak to my granddaughters. You
were a variable I didn’t account for. In fact, I’m perfectly on
time.” Not once did she lose her smile.
Annie grimaced at her grandma’s words. “You consider
five years later on time?”
It took everything in me not to laugh. She may have
been the nicest of her siblings, but they’d been fucked over
one too many times, had hope for people who didn’t
deserve it. Eliza Taylor seemed to have been Annie’s last
straw.
“Annie, there’s much we have to discuss,” Ms Lewis
spoke, giving Annie’s shoulder a sympathetic squeeze. It
was like she understood exactly what she was thinking.
“And I assure you that there’s a very reasonable
explanation behind my lack of presence in your lives.”
 The brunette next to me still didn’t lose her snark,
although she probably knew her annoyance was
unnecessary. “Like what?”
Ms Lewis was quick to respond. “You know what, Annie.
A restraining order.” My arm around Annie’s shoulders
tensed and I felt her stiffen. “My daughter didn’t exactly
like me, and when I sought to take my grandkids away from
her—”
“She lost it,” I murmured, repeating the words Poppy
had told me.
Ms Lewis nodded. “Her death allows me back into your
lives. In fact, I’ve been here a few weeks before her death
since restraining orders only last—”
“Three to five years,” I finished again, seeing some parts
of her story stitch together.
She grinned. “Smart man. I was just telling Annie what I
was doing back in the city when you interrupted us.” The
girl in question paled. “It was the whole reason why I took
the risk of coming back into your lives earlier than what
was allowed.”
Ms Lewis gave Annie a photograph. I peeped over
Annie’s shoulder and she allowed me to look, passing it to
me. “They look like Indie,” she stated incredulously.
And they did. In my hands, I held a photograph of two
girls who looked remarkably like Indigo Taylor.
“Those are your half-sisters,” Ms Lewis explained.
“When I recently found out Matthew had another family, I
knew I had to watch from afar. He doesn’t exactly have the
best track record with daughters,” she gave a half-hearted
smile. “You girls had Georgia watching over you. They had
no one.”
Me, on the other hand, I was floundering at the new
information. Another family? That fucker had another
family when he couldn’t even care for the one he already
had? Nyx’s comment about her dad having two surprises
running around made more sense now. She’d seen him with
his family and she’d freaked out. I returned the photograph
to Annie and she took it with tremulous hands.
She stared at the innocent little faces, so much like
Indigo. “What are their names?”
Ms Lewis pointed to the taller one. “That’s Jade and that
one’s Rue. Lovely girls. Your dad plays pretend to the
public like he always has, but he beat his wife. I fear that if
they stayed in his clutches any longer, he would’ve taken to
beating them too, his anger at the news of you girls leaving
him getting the best of him.”
Sympathy seeped into Annie’s features. Their freedom
could’ve meant the suffering of Jade and Rue. All because
Matthew was a heartless asshole. I hoped that he was
caught soon and placed in a cell where he fucking
belonged.
“How do you know all this?” I asked her, articulating
because Annie looked like she was about to malfunction.
“I befriended their mom. She had no idea who I really
was, though.” Annie frowned at her answer. “I was the one
who encouraged her to talk to Georgia. She needed to get
herself and her girls out of that situation. I’d failed Eliza
already, I couldn’t fail her too.”
Annie was trembling again. She was still clutching the
photo of her half-sisters. “Why didn’t he hit them?”
“Because they’re not Eliza’s daughters,” was her easy
response, one that made sense almost as much as it didn’t.
“Annie, I’m sure you’ve noticed that sometimes your dad
will try to be better. But he always hated Nyx, and now
Poppy too. All because they looked like your mom,
something they can’t control.” She cleared her throat. “And
I know you remember those times when Nyx had to stay
with me after the wedding because your dad was so
unstable, angry about her very existence.”
It was the way she said it; with a deeper understanding.
Then abruptly, she remembered I was still standing
there. Her eyes widened, but I had her. She didn’t need to
say anything else, at least not for me. I glanced at the
photograph again, at Annie. My chest felt tight, my ribs
threatening to ram through my skin. It was right there. It
was always right there. Granted, I hadn’t known that
Matthew had other kids, but it made so much more sense
now.
I cleared my throat. “Could you drop her and Beth at the
rink once you’re done talking?” I asked Ms Lewis.
My voice was unsteady and she picked up on it. By the
rueful smile she gave me, she knew I’d figured it out. She
nodded. I stared at Annie’s terrified expression for a
moment and kissed her head before bustling back to my
car. The drive felt like years, probably because my brain
was completely jumbled.
Nyx. My poor girl. She’d been through so much already
and life just wouldn’t stop shitting on her. This was going to
break her.
And like most strong women, she’d feel the need to
suffer through it all on her own, she’d push me away. But I
wouldn’t let her. I wouldn’t let her isolate herself, take it all
on her own. I couldn’t let that happen. Regardless of having
me, Nailea and the boys, people who loved her—she’d try
to distance herself to save us from being pulled into her
problems. There was no way I was letting her do that, and I
needed to make that clearer than it already was.
Far from any possible wandering eyes, I parked the car.
Taking out my phone, I sent a quick text to Nyx, hands
quivering with the knowledge I’d uncovered. It took her
five minutes to find me after she read my text. The
passenger door opened and she hopped in, shutting it
behind her.
“The match starts soon,” she reminded me, confusion
evident in her eyes. When I still didn’t say anything, the
sides of her lips tilted downwards. “You alright?”
“Remember when I first took you to my parents’ place?
When we first had dinner there?” I blurted, weaving
together my words. Still slightly confused, she nodded. “I
knew my mom spoke to you that night because you avoided
me after that. There was the option of questioning her, but
I figured you’d tell me eventually. Part of me already
knows, but I’m going to ask you what she spoke to you
about.”
Her cheeks took on a red shade and she leaned back in
her seat, fidgeting with her top. “She said you always had
the best intentions and I had to remember that.” I watched
her swallow nervously. “I think it was the way she said it
that freaked me out. Maybe she was trying to tell me that
you loved me without actually telling me,” she said with a
laugh and I groaned at how intrusive my mom was.
“Her heart was in the right place,” I attempted to ease
her nerves. “I don’t know how she does it, but she always
knows things, without having to ask.”
Nyx smiled. “I figured that out the second I
complimented her house.” She bit her lip. “There was this
knowing in her eyes and she didn’t want to frighten me.
Before we left that night, she told me she’d overheard me
crying, told me that if I ever needed anything I was
welcomed there anytime. It scared me.”
“You’re afraid of people leaving you,” I murmured and
she nodded. “So you don’t give them permanent places in
your life. It was why we never dated.”
She looked down at her lap. “I hate giving people ammo
to hurt me. People I’ve trusted have held that gun before.
And it hurts every single time. My mom, my dad. I can’t
imagine going through that again.”
“Not everybody is gonna leave, Nyx,” I spoke in the most
gentle tone I could muster. Feelings weren’t my forte
either, but I was trying. For her. “Not everybody’s gonna
turn into a scar. You know that I love you. You know that
the people around you love you and your sisters. You’re
always going to have us.”
 “But what if I don’t?” Her words were accompanied by
teary eyes and she cursed softly. “I love you all, I really do.
But there always has to be caution. Forever with somebody
isn’t guaranteed.”
I placed a hand on her bare thigh, uncovered by her
skirt. “And why would it not be guaranteed in this
situation?”
“I’ve spent my whole life trying to prove that my sisters
and I deserve love, deserve to be treated with care but
nobody ever listened.” She sighed. “For so long, it’s just
been us. And now there’s everybody.” Overwhelmed. She
was overwhelmed. “My life is one big mess,” she mumbled,
throwing her hands up in exasperation. “And yours isn’t. No
matter how hard I try to push the thought away, it feels like
all I’ll ever be to you is a massive burden.”
And there it was. Nyx had people who loved her. Me, my
family, Nailea, Beth and the boys. Even Georgia. That was a
lot of people to somebody who’d once had nobody. I was
hoping the pessimistic thoughts wouldn’t creep up on her,
but it was expected. A burden. She and her sisters could
never be burdens.
They were blessings.
“I wish there was a way for you to look into my mind,” I
cleared my throat, “to see how much I love you. You could
never be a burden to me, Nyx. You never were. I tried to
cover it up with anger because I was so fucking in love with
you and everything you stood for.” I forced a laugh, feeling
embarrassed. “It still doesn’t feel real, this,” I squeezed her
leg.
Her eyes watered and I counted the seconds it took for
her to speak again. “I tried to rationalise why I’d risk
everything to help you. But there was never an answer. No
matter how hard I tried, I could never get a fixed answer.
Help Nate, help the team, help you. The answer was
constantly evolving. I don’t think I’ll ever find out why.” She
squeezed my hand. “But you can never rationalise the
things you do out of love. My mom took beatings for us
because she supposedly loved us, then she left. My dad
claimed to love us, but he beat us. What if love isn’t enough
to keep people?”
I leaned forward, cupping her face in my palms. “I love
you. We all do,” I whispered, watching her eyes shut, her
lashes flitting against the top of her cheeks. “I don’t just
want this facade you put out there, strong, independent
and no need for help. Whether you can do it alone or not,
you don’t need to anymore. I want the parts that you hide.
I’ve looked at you with so many different emotions over the
past year, resentment, admiration, dread—but never in the
absence of love. You’re a bitch, not gonna lie,” she snorted,
“but for valid reasons. And I want to know those reasons.
But most importantly, I want to love you in a way that you
deserve to be loved.”
There was a long beat of silence as she allowed my
words to caress her. Slowly, her eyes opened, a vivid blue
meeting my gaze. “What belongs to me will find me,” she
uttered, a petite smile gracing her lips.
I grinned. “Simple law of attraction, baby. You’re mine,
I’m not leaving you. If you believe in anything, believe in
that.”
With that, I pulled her in for a much-needed kiss. I
would never tire of kissing Nyx. For such an electrifying
woman, her kisses were affectionate, passionate, tender. It
was a preface to everything she burrowed inside,
everything I wanted to know. Feelings weren’t her area of
expertise, but her kisses told me everything I needed to
know, that she loved me.
Her arms went around my neck, clinging to me as if her
life depended on it. My lips found her tender spot, just
underneath her ear and she moaned when I nipped at it.
Impatiently, I pulled her over the console until she was
straddling me, her back against the steering wheel in a
position we knew all too well.
 As our lips met again, I slid my hands up the smooth
skin of her thighs, feeling her shudder at my touch.
Gripping her ass in my hands, I tugged her closer. Thank
fuck my windows were tinted. She dropped her head onto
my shoulder when I moved her panties aside, sliding a
finger inside of her.
“Fuck,” I muttered when she clenched around it. Slowly,
I added another finger and she whined. “Easy, baby,” I
whispered, pulling her face to mine for another kiss.
Her hips bucked against me as my fingers moved faster,
fucking her at a furious pace. It didn’t take long for her to
come all over my hand and I smirked. My fingers never
ceased their movements, pushing her over the edge. Even
when she finished trembling in my hold, coming down from
her high, I continued to thrust them into her until she was a
whimpering mess.
“Beck,” she moaned as I crooked my fingers. “Please.”
Her back curved, mouth parted in pleasure. Her eyes
met mine, the blue colour tinged with a darker shade. That
look she gave me was my undoing, filled with so much
trust, so much love. Impatiently, I worked my cock out of
my pants, looking for my wallet. Without needing to be told,
Nyx raised the condom, just as feverish. I groaned when
she slowly slid it over me, her hands smooth and warm.
I took off her camisole before cupping her breasts in my
hands. My mouth clamped over a nipple, sucking and she
arched into me. I pinched the neglected nipple and
alternated between the two.
All while I was enjoying myself, Nyx ground harder
against me. “My baby’s impatient.”
“Beckham,” she complained. With a loud pop, I let go of
her nipple and pushed her panties to the side again. I fisted
my cock, lining it up with her entrance. Slowly, she sank
down onto me.
“Fuck,” I hissed. I gripped her hips, before slamming in.
“Jesus, fuck,” I groaned as Nyx cried out, clutching my
shoulders for assistance. She was beyond wet, enabling me
to slide in smoothly. I waited for a few seconds, allowing
her to adjust to the intrusion. Her walls were clamping
around me and I moaned. “So fucking tight. Fucking killing
me.”
When I gently pulled out and then pushed back in, her
moans turned louder. I replicated the motions, slamming
into her over and over again. She countered my actions,
riding me. Heaven, absolute heaven. I wouldn’t have a
problem with dying like this.
I slapped her ass, prompting her to go faster. “Shit. Your
pussy’s so fucking tight.” She braced her hands on my
shoulder. “Ride my cock, baby.”
Nyx threw her head back and raised herself slightly
before pushing back down. I cursed and she stifled a
scream. Up and down. She repeated it, improving her pace
when it got more and more pleasant.
“Beck. You feel so good,” she moaned, sinking down to
kiss me. I cupped her ass and helped her slam down onto
me. “Yes.”
“Fuck, yes,” I growled through clenched teeth. “That’s
it. Squeeze my cock. Just like that—Fuck!” She tensed
around me and I grunted into her neck, slamming into her.
Her back curved and I took a nipple into my mouth again.
“I’m so close,” she moaned and I quickened my pace,
hands pinning her wrists behind her back.
My eyes were trained on her breasts as they swayed
with the movement. She whimpered, sensing her climax
slithering upon her. “You close, baby? You wanna come all
over my cock?” She nodded, eyes watering due to her
impending release. “Give it to me, Nyx.”
I tipped over and my pelvis rubbed her clit with every
thrust. It was the final straw. Nyx came with a scream,
shuddering atop me as I proceeded to work in and out of
her.
 “Oh, God. Beck!” The sound of my name on her lips sent
me over the edge. My vision went blurry, eyes rolling to the
back of my head.
“Fuck!” I felt the rush of my come shoot inside the
condom before I relaxed, sagging against the seat. The
tinted windows were murky with our breaths and
perspiration flowed down my back. I raised my head so that
I could kiss her, slow and sweet. “I love you.”
Her eyes were dazed and she was thoroughly fucked.
Nyx looked at me, smiling. She needed to know all that she
meant to me because her world was about to be tilted from
its axis. She needed to know that she could count on me,
that I would shoulder her problems so she wouldn’t have to
carry it on her own. She needed to know that she had
people she could rely on because this was going to
absolutely break her.
Matthew Taylor’s genes were strong as fuck, each of his
daughters the spitting image of him.
Except for Nyx and Poppy.
Because they weren’t his daughters.

OceanofPDF.com
T hey weren’t supposed to lose. That wasn’t part of the
plan. But as I watched UCLA score one last goal before
the timer went off, I knew it was over. One point
ahead. One damned point. It didn’t help that everybody
seemed to be caught in their own world. Perhaps the long
break had been too much. Sebastian and Jai weren’t able to
gel well this match, almost as if they could sense their
captain’s unease. Their footwork was sloppy and they
missed a few passes.
Jasper had been worried about me for a while now, I
knew that. I wasn’t behaving normally, too stressed about
my dad being on the run. One thing I had to get used to
was that I had more people who cared about me now. So
when I began acting off, Jasper had picked up on it, and it
showed during his performance tonight. His distraction was
what caused his partner, Oliver, to get slammed into the
plexiglass.
Of all people, I expected Grayson to remain the most
focused, but even he was out of it. Throughout the game,
he kept tossing concerned glances at Annie, who sat in the
front row next to me.
 Her features were contorted in dismay from the moment
she’d stepped foot into the rink. Even though I was still
high on Beckham’s touch, her expression was like a cold
bucket of water being poured over me. At first, I’d
wondered if it had something to do with the girls, but she
assured me they were safe with Georgia. Everybody
seemed to be out of sorts.
I was snapped out of my daze by Sebastian slamming his
locker shut. Two hours after the match had ended and the
boys were still mad. I didn’t know what to say to them. It
was clear they were taking this loss super hard. The look in
their eyes was the same as when they’d lost numerous
matches last year, back when Nate was their captain.
The blonde angel sighed, running a hand over his sweaty
face. Grayson sent him a look that said he felt the same
way. Oliver was on the bench, frowning as Jasper shrugged
his backpack on. Jai was silent, unlike himself. But it was
Beckham that held my attention. He didn’t look too irked
about their loss.
Instead, he was concerned about me.
“Losses happen,” Oliver muttered, standing up and
grabbing his bag. “It was one loss. We have a lot more
chances to make up for it,” he then glanced at me, “plus,
we have the points from our fundraisers.”
Sebastian nodded, listening to his teammate. “But we
have to ask ourselves why we lost. Why, after so many wins,
do we suddenly lose? What are we suddenly doing wrong?”
“Nothing,” Beckham added, his voice guttural. “I don’t
want anybody blaming themselves for this,” he said,
making eye contact with each member of his team. It was
just them in the locker room, the other teams having left
long ago after a few words from Benson. “We lost. We’ll just
try harder next time.”
They stayed silent, contemplating his words. They were
all still cooling down after a good lecture from Benson and
I knew they didn’t need another. What they needed right
now was support. As the coach, it was Benson’s job to
reprimand them. But Beckham was more than a captain; he
was a friend.
“Let’s go. Movie at our place.”
The guys shuffled out, making sure they had their bags.
The rink was empty, tired employees left to pick up what
the audience had left behind. Benson stayed in his office,
no doubt going through my notes, trying to do better.
“Can you drop Annie and me back at our old place?” I
asked Beckham, catching up with him, and he glanced back
at me, features going tense. “We have to pack up my mom’s
things so we can sell the house.”
It was something I wasn’t looking forward to, especially
with the knowledge that she was no longer with us. We had
to throw out our dad’s shit too.
“Twenty minutes,” he said, peeking over his shoulder
quickly. “I’m taking Beth home to her mom to pick up the
last of her clothes, and then I’m coming straight back to
you, okay?”
Knowing that his parents lived in Glendale, the same
neighbourhood where Beth stayed, I sighed. “Beck, there’s
no need to rush. You can pop in to check in on your parents
if you want. We’ll be fine—”
“Twenty minutes,” he said, voice firm as he gripped my
hips. “Understand?” I nodded in surrender because there
was no way to sway him once he had his mind set on
something. “Good girl.”
Beckham threw an arm over my shoulders and headed
for the exit. Annie followed closely, eyes darting around
nervously as Beth spoke quietly to her. The parking lot was
vacant too, filled with four cars. One was Benson’s, the jeep
belonged to Beckham, and the other two belonged to
Sebastian and Jai. Jasper and Oliver hopped into Jai’s car
and Grayson into Sebastian’s as Beckham informed them
that we’d be late. The ride was silent, Beth trying her best
to get through to my sister, but to no avail. I offered the girl
a smile, silently promising to figure out what was going on
with her.
Beckham dropped us outside, his face a mixture of
emotions, emotions that he was begging me to understand
as if it was a secret message. I couldn’t figure out what it
all meant, struggling to even figure out what I was feeling.
The entire night was tense, feeling like a bomb ready to go
off at any second. Beth pressed a gentle kiss to Annie’s lips,
the latter finally cracking a smile as her girlfriend
whispered something to her.
After an astoundingly long embrace from my boyfriend,
Beckham drove off and I shut the door behind me, eyes
taking in the place I’d once called home. Annie headed
straight for our parents’ room but ceased in her tracks. I
followed behind her, my breath hitching.
“What?” I questioned her, glimpsing around her
shoulder to stare at what had pulled such a reaction from
her.
And there he was: Matthew Taylor, lounging on the
couch with a half-empty beer bottle clutched between his
oil-stained fingers. There was no car in the driveway, giving
us no warning of his presence. His eyes were bloodshot and
slightly swollen. Younger Nyx would’ve questioned if he
was okay, if he was hurting. But older Nyx knew that he
was a manipulative bastard.
He always did that, shed a tear or two to forcefully pull
empathy from his daughters. We were supposed to believe
he was in despair. He was a single father with four
daughters, his wife was a drug addict who’d left him. It was
excuse after excuse. And back then, I pitied him. But not
anymore.
I felt my back pocket for my phone, ready to call
Beckham’s dad to tell him Matthew had finally appeared.
Slowly, he elevated his red gaze. I expected him to start
screaming, even hurl the bottle at me. It was usually during
one of his intoxicated stupors that he heavily mistook me
for my mom. But he didn’t do anything, his eyes drifting to
my practically petrified older sister. As if I was watching a
tennis match, I looked between the two, wondering why
their stare was so intense. An entire nonverbal
conversation seemed to pass.
“I thought you were on my side, Annie,” he expressed
after an eternity, his voice seeming to break with each
syllable that fell from his parched throat. A disgusting
cough followed. “You were supposed to be on my side,
Annie.” This time, his words were more firm, and if he had
more strength, he probably would’ve yelled. My stomach
felt hollow at the tension that was in the house. “But you
chose her,” he spat in absolute revulsion.
I took a step back, dragging Annie with me as I
questioned her, “What the fuck is going on?” She appeared
shellshocked, unable to let a word slip past her lips.
“Annie?” I reiterated, beginning to get fearful with her
silence. “Call the cops,” I whispered when I heard the
sloshing of beer.
My dad stood up, teetering on his legs before righting
himself. He raised a quivering finger towards Annie.
“Mine,” he accentuated drunkenly. “My fucking daughter
and you betray me?” His eyes crossed until he was
goggling at my sister again, a gruff laugh leaving him in a
wheeze. “You choose them?” he wailed, waving a shaking
arm in my direction as tears leaked from his eyes.
But I was no longer listening. Instead, I pivoted to
Annie. She was already looking at me, apology in her
bottomless brown eyes. I was muddled, my world was
staggering, yet I understood nothing. I didn’t understand
my dad’s words, I never understood him when he was
drunk. But there was a pang inside of my chest, one that
worsened with each breath. It was like my body knew
something was wrong, acting like armour before any pain
could reach the beating organ in my chest.
My body was telling me to leave.
 Pathetically, I said my sister’s name again. “Annie?”
She’d always been my equilibrium, kept me afloat during
the storm that was our lives. However, as we gazed at one
another, it felt like I was being cut loose. And there I was,
drowning all over again.
A loud thunk reached my ears and I shifted to see my
dad, sprawled out on the floor. Unconscious. The bottle
rolled away from him, leaving a stain on the carpet that I’d
seemed to spend my entire childhood scrubbing. Annie
reached for me but I stepped back, shaking my head.
Everything was hurting and a hug from her would shatter
me. I’d cry and I didn’t need tears. I needed answers.
“Nyx,” she murmured, but I held my ground.
The more I thought about my dad’s words, the more it
seemed to make sense. And I hated it. It was wrong of me
to compare abuse, but Annie had it the easiest. I always
thought it was because she didn’t look like our mom, but he
seemed to hold her higher than any of us, Indigo falling
into second place.
The words felt foreign in my mouth. “Why’s he saying
that you’re his daughter?” My breathing was rackety, each
breath a near pant. A choked sound left me.
She mewled in despair. “Nyxie, I swear to you I didn’t
know.” With each step she took towards me, I backtracked.
“I didn’t expect to see Grandma today but she was there
and she—” she inhaled shakily. Tears were streaming down
her face and I curbed myself from going to wipe them away.
“Grandma told me what Mom had been keeping from us.”
Her next words were barely audible through her tears. “I
would give anything to not be his daughter, to not be
related to a monster like him. I hate that he loves me so
much. I hate that he thinks he owns me.” She shook her
head. “I don’t want to be his.”
It all flashed by my eyes in a second, every time Annie
stood back, when she went to our dad instead of mom. I’d
thought it was because she preferred him, held out hope
that he would change. But it was his way of staking his
claim, trying to isolate her from me.
“Annie,” I said in a distressed tone. “Annie, you’re not
his. You decided that the second you stood up for me the
first time.” She was in my arms a second later, weeping
against my chest as I held her the same way she’d held me
all these years.
“I’m sorry,” she cried. “I’m sorry for all the hurt you’ve
had to suffer at his hands,” she continued, words dripping
with guilt. “Grandma planned to meet me here to tell you
but I didn’t expect him to be here. This was supposed to go
better than this and I’m so sorry.”
We must’ve stayed in that embrace for fifteen minutes,
the silence filled with my dad’s intemperate snoring. My
older sister pulled away, looking suddenly anxious. Her jaw
clenched and unclenched continuously. I could see her
teeth grinding against each other.
There were tears in her puffy eyes. “Dad’s always hated
you and Poppy.” I let out a humourless laugh. It didn’t take
a genius to figure that out. “It’s,” she sniffled, “I don’t want
to hurt you any more than you have been, Nyxie. But I want
you to hear the truth from me, somebody who loves you
instead of him,” she pointed at our dad, “somebody who’ll
only use this information to hurt you.”
More. There was more to the story that I hadn’t
captured yet. The sympathy in Annie’s gaze told me that it
was going to hurt. Childishly, I wanted to tell her to keep it
to herself. If it meant sparing myself the pain, I didn’t want
to know.
Coward. For this one moment, I was okay with being a
coward.
Then I thought of Beckham. I thought of the future I
wanted with him. Everything. I wanted everything with
him. Being with Beckham gave me a safe space,
somewhere we could construct our future. The foundation
was sturdy on his part. But I couldn’t put my all in, not
when I was still being held back by the unanswered
questions in my past.
So maybe I needed to hurt. Maybe I needed to break.
Maybe I needed to have everything I assembled on the
ground my dad gave me to be destroyed. I used all of my
devotion, my resources to construct a future where we
were enough for Matthew Taylor. But it was never enough.
Demolition was the only way. I wanted all those
resources back, all that love that I gave a man who never
really cared. I would use it to build a better place, a future
for any kids I might one day have.
But most importantly, for me. Wherever the future took
me and Beckham, I’d want to look back and see that I put
in everything that I had, not what I had left. So yes, maybe
I needed to break before I could build.
“Tell me,” I said to Annie in the strongest voice I could
muster.
She must’ve seen the determination in my appearance
because she offered me an encouraging smile. “Indigo and
I,” she commenced and I frowned, “are the only children
Matthew and Eliza share.”
I couldn’t contain the bewildered expression I sent her.
“Wait, what?”
Annie took my hand in hers. “Grandma told us the truth
when she said Dad knocked Mom up in their senior year,”
she elucidated, squeezing my hand. “But she left out the
fact that they’d separated before I was born. Mom moved
in with Grandma so she could help raise me. It was during
that time when Mom was with your dad; Uncle Robbie.”
My world stopped. Uncle Robbie. My dad. I thought of
the stories Annie always told me. I used to call him my dad.
Annie had also mentioned thinking our mom and Uncle
Robbie had once been together. But she’d passed that off as
childish assumptions.
“What?” I questioned dumbly, not expecting an answer.
 “When we were younger,” Annie continued, “I thought
you called him your dad because you were so little and I
took to doing the same, but Dad only ever got angry at me
because I was old enough to know better. I thought it
must’ve been confusing for you, being with Uncle Robbie
all the time when our real dad would appear once every
few months. I thought it was clear you’d gotten attached to
him and Dad hadn’t been upset because you were so young.
I just didn’t know Uncle Robbie was actually your dad,
Nyxie.”
There was a ringing sensation in my ears. My eyes were
murky and the floor was swimming underneath me. There
was nothing to hold on to. There was nothing stable to hold
on to. Nothing in my life was ever stable. I couldn’t hold on
to anything. Annie stepped towards me, but I lurched away,
muttering to myself.
It had to be a lie.
It had to be a lie. But it was all right there, plain as day
to see. But we never looked too closely. We looked nothing
like him, not like Annie and Indigo. Even his daughters
from his second marriage looked exactly like him.
Uncle Robbie. God. He’d died before he’d had the
chance to meet Poppy.
“I’m sorry,” Annie expressed with teary eyes, thinking
that I was trying to get away from her, that I was furious
with her. The misery was unmistakable in her features and
she looked on the brink of breaking down. “Now that you
know nothing ties you to Matthew,” she said in a tremulous
voice, “I only hope you won’t be too angry and want to
distance yourself—”
“No,” I cut her off, shaking my head as I leaned against
the wall for support. “You are my sister, whether we share a
dad or not,” I declared, trying to sound as firm as I could.
“He,” I pointed a shaking finger at the unconscious man, “is
nothing to me.”
 I thought back to the whips, his words of absolute
loathing as he slapped me around. As he shoved me into
the wall. As he attempted to drown me. And then I saw my
baby sister, my little Poppy, bleeding through the same
thing. I watched him cut all her hair off when she broke a
plate by accident. I could see myself banging on the trunk
of the car where he locked her for a full night after she’d
forgotten to clean her room.
And then I cried, sinking to my knees. Annie shuffled
towards me, but I nudged her away. I was still wailing, my
throat raw. I clambered around on the ground, seeking to
find the wall so I could stand back up. But I was drifting
around aimlessly. I glared at the room we were in. I took in
the furniture. This was always his house. And the moment
my mom had left, Poppy and I never belonged. He’d always
made it clear, but we never picked up on it. Ruination. He’d
said we ruined everything. We ruined his perfect family.
Something inside of me cracked. And then I was running
to the kitchen. I tugged open every cupboard. I tossed
every single plate against the wall. Annie was shrieking,
yelling at me to stop. I exhausted every drawer, hurling the
contents around. On unsteady feet, I stumbled into the
bathroom and dragged out the hammer that was under the
sink. And then I was blasting the metal into the walls. I
delivered blow after blow, simulating his hands as he struck
me.
“Nyx!” Annie wailed, weeping.
But I wasn’t listening. I couldn’t. After battering the
hammer through the walls, I crammed my hand through,
trying to split it apart. My hands were rattling, my face wet
with tears. I smashed it through the windows, rejoicing in
the melody of the fracturing. I didn’t feel the cuts on my
hands. I didn’t feel the blood dripping down them.
For a few minutes, Annie disappeared. And I was glad. I
didn’t want anyone to witness my breakdown. I threw
Matthew’s clothes all over his room. I grabbed a scissor,
hacked them apart, stitch by stitch, the way he’d done me. I
stumbled towards Matthew Taylor. He was on his back,
completely knocked out because of how much he’d drank.
I was quivering as I descended to my knees, throwing a
leg over his body. I could feel the rise and fall of his chest
beneath me. My hand went to his throat. And then I was
squeezing. His breathing became laboured until he could
no longer inhale. And then his eyes shot open in
trepidation.
“Nyxie,” he choked out, hand raising to slacken my grip.
But he was powerless. His body was feeble with the booze
rushing through him. My grip tautened as I watched his
eyes bug out of their sockets with the scarcity of oxygen.
“Please.”
“You’re a sorry excuse for a man,” I muttered. He shook
his head, slobber dribbling from his mouth. His body stilled
when my grip tightened.
“You won’t hurt me,” he conveyed through coughs. “You
can’t hurt me because you know I had to do what I did.” I
raised a brow, wondering how he could even begin to
defend his abuse. “Look how you turned out. You’re so
strong. And it’s because of me—Fuck!”
My fist landed on his nose with a nauseating crunch.
Matthew was writhing in pain. “Oops,” I muttered, “hand
slipped, Matty.” He was wailing, tears trickling from his
eyes.
“Nyxie, please,” he beseeched, choking on his vomit. I
tipped his head, permitting him to cough up the alcohol
he’d been living on for the past few days. He was begging
me, begging, in the same way, I had when I was a little girl.
I stood up, heading to the kitchen to get a glass of water to
toss at his face. When I returned to the living room, Annie
was standing there with wide eyes, gaping at her crying
dad. Beckham was next to her, his face blank.
“You’re a piece of shit, Nyxie,” Matthew cried
pathetically, pushing to his feet. “After everything I did for
you and your mom. She was a bitch that ran off with Annie!
Came crawling back to me years later after your dumbass
dad got himself killed. I took you little blonde beasts in
when you had nobody! Nobody wanted you!”
“No dad has a right to hurt his daughter. But I wasn’t
even your daughter!” I yelled over him, releasing the glass
of water and it narrowly missed my foot. “I wasn’t yours to
break, to beat, to completely fucking ruin!” My words were
rusted, I was shouting, sobbing. A complete fucking mess.
“Do you know how fucking long it took for me to let a man
touch me?!” I hollered, shoving past Beckham to get to the
crying man. “You fucking broke me to the point where I
could never imagine myself in a fucking relationship. For so
long, I’d been terrified of men.”
“Nyx, please,” Beckham sought, but I didn’t listen. He
pulled me into his arms and I trembled, screams crawling
up my raw throat. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered, kissing my
head. I turned to see Matthew trying to stabilise himself.
My outrage returned, anger for all the misery he’d brought
into our lives.
I pushed away from Beckham and he called my name
but I wasn’t listening. My body was on fire, my organs were
on fire.
Matthew was glancing around, still crying. I stepped
closer to him and he froze, uneasy. “You broke me,” I told
him. “You made me feel worthless, like I didn’t deserve
anything!”
“Nyxie,” he wailed, switching from anger to trying and
appealing to pity. “Please, your dad wouldn’t have done
this.” I blundered at his words. “Robbie wouldn’t have—”
“Don’t you dare say his name!” Annie hollered, her
knees staggering as she pointed an accusing finger at her
dad. “You have no right to mention him.” Robbie. The name
ricocheted around in my head. My dad. A dad I had no
memory of.
 Matthew fell back down again. “He wouldn’t have done
this,” he sobbed pathetically. “Please. Nyxie, I know you’re
merciful—”
“Which one am I?” I questioned, stepping closer and
sinking next to him. “Merciful or ruination?” The inquiry
left me in a hollow voice and he jerked. “According to you, I
believe it’s the latter. I cried, wanting you to love me. I
wanted to know why you hated me, and how I could be the
perfect daughter. But you are the problem. You’ve always
been the problem. So here, look what you’ve done. I’m a
mess. Is that what you wanted? Are you happy?”
He gulped. “Nyx, we can talk this through—”
I laughed. Loudly. “Fuck you! Fuck you for all that
you’ve done. The only good thing you’ve ever given me was
Annie and Indigo. Everything else was just misery. Did you
enjoy watching me cry, huh? Did you enjoy watching Poppy
cry? Did you enjoy breaking us?” He didn’t say anything. I
looked him dead in the eye. “One day, I’m going to have a
house. I’m going to have kids. And I’m going to love them,”
my voice throbbed. “My kitchen will smell like cookies. The
walls will be full of pictures, the fridge filled with drawings.
The house will be warm, everything this place never was.” I
spared Beckham a glance. “I will have an amazing man by
my side. And he’ll be the father you wish you could be.”
The tears were still falling from his face as he listened to
me, having his actions hurled back at him. “Are you going
to kill me, Nyxie?” he asked, whining with the discomfort in
his stomach.
My throat bobbed. “No. I’ll let you think about your
actions, Matty. Because they all have consequences.” I
pushed to my feet, glancing at Beckham. “Call your dad. I
assume there’s a prison cell with this bastard’s name on it.”
My hands were shaking.
Beckham ambled into my room to make the call and I
held out a bloody hand to Annie. The front door opened and
my grandma slipped through it, her entire appearance a
mess. My chest ached at the sight of the woman that had
once cared for us.
“I came as soon as I could,” she told Annie. “What—”
Her gaze landed on a crying Matthew Taylor. His head
lolled to the side. The fucker was unconscious again. Her
blue eyes filled with tears. I could see it happen, see her
relive the memories. Matthew had stolen her daughter
from her, stolen her grandkids and left her with nothing.
And then she lunged for him
I tackled her to the ground and she thrashed in my hold.
“Grandma, stop!” I screamed, but she still resisted. She
managed to escape, crawling over to Matthew with tears in
her eyes. I watched her hands wrap around his throat when
I dived for her again. I kept her between my legs, gripping
her arms and murmuring in her ears, “Breathe. Just
breathe.”
She was crying, the sound growing louder when Annie
sat in front of us, trying to wrap her arms around us both.
Beckham emerged, sending me a subtle nod to say his dad
was on his way. My grandma stayed crying, calling out for a
daughter she wished she could help.
I didn’t know how much time passed. My ass was numb
from sitting on the floor, my grandma in my arms and
Annie’s arms around me. Anthony Hunt soon arrived,
taking in the scene with perplexed eyes. He shared a few
words with his son and I caught ‘statement’ amongst them.
Anthony heaved Matthew over his shoulder and hauled him
to his car. Slowly moving my grandma into Annie’s hold, I
stood up, following Beckham outside and watching his dad
place Matthew in the back.
What I didn’t expect, was for Anthony to pull me into an
embrace. “You’ll be okay,” he whispered, sharing a glance
with Beckham. “When you’re ready, I need to ask you a few
questions, okay?” I nodded against his chest. After a soft
kiss to the top of my head, he let me step back into
Beckham’s arms. We watched him drive off, the silence
killing me.
Beckham had witnessed me at my absolute worst. I
didn’t know what to say. Thankfully, I didn’t need to. He
spun me around so I could face him, wiping my tears. Three
words. He said three words. And yet it managed to set me
completely at ease.
“I love you.”
When we walked back inside, my grandma was on the
couch, staring into space and Annie was making tea. This
house held bad memories and I could see it in my
grandma’s features. It was prominent in her posture, the
way she glanced around as if she was in a foreign land.
“I don’t know what came over me,” she muttered after a
few seconds, looking mortified as she ran a hand over her
tear-stained face. “I just saw him, after five years, and I
remembered all that he did and I just—I wanted to kill him
—I can’t—I just—”
“I know,” I concluded, feeling Beckham’s grip clench
around my waist. She didn’t have to explain. I knew exactly
what had gone through her head.
Beckham leaned down to mutter, “We have to get this
blood off you.” I’d forgotten what had happened when I’d
gone around smashing things. I glanced at the dried blood
on my hands and allowed him to lead me to the bathroom
where I’d made a mess earlier. I smiled sheepishly as he
grabbed a cloth and wet it.
“I’m sorry that you had to see that,” I voiced, watching
him cleanse my hands. He halted, gaze meeting mine. It
looked like he was about to repeat what he’d been telling
me for the past few days, but I spoke again. “I’m not sorry
that you’re here though.”
He smirked, going back to his job. “Good. I’m always
gonna be here, baby. No matter what. I love you.”
I smiled, feeling my cheeks flush. “I love you.”
 A kiss was placed on my lips before he cleaned my
hands in silence, using a clean cloth to then wipe my face.
My heart had calmed down, my nerves no longer feeling on
edge. It was weird. After all that happened, I felt a little at
peace.
It was probably because I knew the devil was out of our
lives now.
The sound of the front door opening again made me
frown. My first thought was that my grandma was leaving.
Our relationship was splintered, but I wanted to try at
least. Five years was a long time. It didn’t need to be
extended any further. Beckham trailed me as I peeked my
head into the living room just in time to see Georgia enter
with Julie and my baby sisters. My grandma gasped,
placing her tea aside.
Georgia stepped closer, Indigo in her arms. The little girl
was watching the blonde woman with wide, confused eyes.
Poppy peeked out from around Georgia, holding Julie’s
hand. Her blue eyes landed on the figure.
Her yell was deafening. “Grandma!” Poppy was
scurrying. “Grandma! Oh my God, Grandma!”
My grandma nearly collapsed. “Poppy!” I watched my
sister surge into the woman’s arms, crying and shaking.
She kissed her head, squeezing her. “My little Poppy-
Flower. You’re so big. When did you get so big?”
Beckham rubbed my back, pulling me close against his
chest. I fell into his embrace, clutching him as if he was my
lifeline. Indigo asked to be let down from Georgia, and then
she was walking towards us. When my grandma saw her,
her knees buckled.
“Grandma?” Another word barely passed her lips before
she was in the blonde woman’s arms. She was crying,
seeing her granddaughter for the first time after five whole
years. “My name’s Indigo,” she stuttered nervously. “I, um,
I’ve always wanted to meet you.”
 “I would know you by your scent alone,” she murmured,
kissing her head. “There’s no need for introductions.” She
caught my eye over their heads. So many unsaid things
passed between us. Eventually, she settled on, “My strong
girl.”
When I pulled away from Beckham, my grandma was
holding Annie. They made the perfect picture, together
after so long. I didn’t move towards them, but I could feel
Beckham’s arm around my waist, keeping me steady. Annie
met my gaze, uncertain compared to my optimism.
“We’ll be okay,” I mouthed to her. “I promise.”

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I t had been over a week since Nyx’s world had came
toppling down on her, since her grandma had plunged
back into her life, since Matthew had been arrested. And
most importantly, over a week since she’d last seen her
sisters. I knew it was picking at her, not having been
isolated from them for so long before. But I also knew she
needed space. It was a privilege she’d never really had. It
was always problem after problem and not for one second
did she think to stop and take a breather. So when she’d
asked for space, I promised that I’d do my absolute best to
make sure she had it. It was the least I could do after
everything she’d been through.
With permission from Nyx, Benson had been acquainted
with the entire situation. The two hadn’t gotten along in the
beginning, but when I communicated the news, it looked
like he was ready to go to battle on her behalf. But Nyx
didn’t want a fuss. She wanted peace and quiet. So Benson
took up her spot as an event planner, managing to balance
it with his position as the coach. Another match down plus
one fundraiser. The match had been another loss,
unfortunately.
 The fundraiser lacked enthusiasm, although it was a
success. And many people showed up too, having heard
snippets of gossip about Nyx and they wanted to see how
she was doing. As if I’d let them treat my girlfriend like a
new artefact in a museum.
“Where is she?”
I peeped over my shoulder at Annie as she followed me
into the rink parking lot. It was the same routine every day,
one I wondered if she’d ever get tired of. Personally, it was
becoming vexatious, her chasing me down. And she wasn’t
subtle about it either. She’d yell my name until I paid
attention.
“Beckham!” Annie hollered, tracing my footsteps. I
disregarded her, unlocking my car. “Beckham, please!” Her
voice was beseeching, and when I peered at her, I noticed
tears in her brown eyes. But it wasn’t going to work on me.
She’d tried that days ago already and her attempt was
futile. “Where is she?”
“I already explained this to you, Annie,” I countered,
opening the back door and flinging my bag there. After the
first few days, I thought she’d have given up. I’d forgotten
how stubborn Nyx and her sisters could be. “This is getting
old and you know it. So stop asking me—”
“Where is my sister?” she reemphasised, looking like a
madwoman. It was her signature look as of late. “It’s been
a week, Beck, and I haven’t seen her.” Her voice was
staggering and so was her body. The skin underneath her
eyes was a dull shade of purple whereas the rest of her face
was ashen. “I’m worried.”
Sighing, I pitched against the car, staring at her. “And
what makes you think I know where she is?” Annie blinked
owlishly at me, not having been prepared for that question.
It was the first time I actually engaged in a conversation
with her instead of just driving off. “Did it ever occur to you
that she left because she needed space? Give her time,
Annie. Her whole life was turned upside down—”
 “I don’t want her to go through it alone,” she cut me off,
becoming agitated. Her voice went a few tones higher and
her pale face turned a roseate shade. Angry. She was most
definitely angry. “I’m so scared it’s all become too much for
her. Poppy and Indie miss her. And you won’t fucking tell
me—”
“Shut up,” I said placidly, and she gaped like a fish,
blinking again. Her using the girls to guilt trip me was a
low blow. “Just shut up, Annie. You’re giving me a
headache.” I opened the driver’s side of the car and she
watched me jump in. “She needs time. If you haven’t
noticed, she just found out most of her life was a lie. Did
you honestly expect her to take it well?” Her censorship
said enough and I chuckled darkly. “I know she’s strong,
Annie, but nobody’s that strong.”
“I’m just worried,” she whispered.
“I know,” I nodded. “Believe me when I say she loves you
all. But she needs a little more time to sort out what she’s
feeling. Her questions need to be answered before she can
move forward.”
Annie stared at me, trying to make sense of what I was
saying. I could understand that she was delighted to have
her grandma back, truly, but Nyx and Annie were two
different people. They didn’t see it the same way. And I’d
rather die than let Nyx’s opinion be swayed by her sister.
Because I knew that would happen. Nyx would do anything
to make her sisters happy, even accept her grandma back
without complaint if it would satisfy them. But she wasn’t
ready for that. Even a blind person could see it. Maybe it
would’ve been a different story a few weeks ago, when
she’d been excited about the prospect of her grandma
returning.
But not now, not after what she’d just found out.
There was too much heartbreak, too many unspoken
feelings and unaddressed issues. Until Nyx could
disentangle everything she was feeling inside, she’d just
have to stay away. One little tug in the wrong direction
could compress the cluster to the point where she’d never
untangle it. She needed time to sort through it, pick on
each little knot with careful precision. Only she knew how
to get herself out of that mess.
Submissively, Annie moved out of the way, enabling me
to shut the door. I didn’t feel guilty, not when I knew Nyx
spent every night screaming into her pillow. She grieved for
a dad she couldn’t remember, and a dad who beat her.
Their house was sold, their things long moved out. The
girls were still with Georgia and Ms Lewis was trying to
adopt them. Annie hadn’t been staying with us, finding her
sister’s absence too much, so she’d been staying full-time
with Beth at her new place for the time being.
Nyx would only pop into campus to write her exams,
seeing as we’d been in the final stretch of the winter
quarter. Exams had given us something else to think about.
Even the boys were relieved to be studying instead of
practising. The quarter had ended a day ago and the brief
break from everything was something we all needed. I
chose to ignore the fact that the next quarter started next
week.
I turned up the radio and rolled down the windows,
needing to calm myself down after my daily discussion with
Annie. When I stopped at a red light, I sent Grayson a quick
text to let him know I wouldn’t be home this weekend,
instead, going to visit my parents.
Seeing all that Nyx went through made me more
appreciative of what I had. I had a mom who loved to annoy
the fuck out of me and a dad who was always ready with a
good lecture if I behaved like an asshole. After a pleasant
drive, I parked in front of the house and hopped out of my
car, moving to get the bags that I’d packed last night.
Without knocking, I entered the house, immediately getting
a whiff of muffins. My mom was always fucking baking.
 “Hammy!” she exclaimed upon noticing me and I rolled
my eyes although there was a grin on my lips. Dressed in a
picturesque apron and covered in flour, she looked a mess.
“How nice of you to stop by.”
Enclosing an arm around her, I pressed a kiss to her
head and wiped away some chocolate that was stuck to the
side of her face. “Hey, Mom. How was your day?”
My mom frowned at me, crossing her arms. I winked
and she shook her head with a smile. “Don’t pretend you’re
here to see me. She’s in the living room.” With an
appreciative nod, I heeded her directions and went to the
living room. The curtains were drawn and the TV was
playing something although it was mute.
On the couch sat Nyx, a fleecy blanket enveloped around
her and her hair in a messy knot atop her head. She was
staring off into space, her face red and eyes puffy. My heart
clenched.
“There’s my baby,” I hummed in a soothing tone and she
looked up. The smile she gave me was breath-taking. I
thudded down next to her, and without a word, she crawled
into my lap. Bandaging my arms around her, I inhaled her
familiar strawberry scent. “How are you?”
Nestling into my hold, she responded, “I was just about
to ask you that. How’s the boys?” The guilt was apparent in
her expression. Every day she would tell me that she’d
hated leaving Benson on his own like that, no matter how
much I assured her that he hadn’t minded. “I miss them.”
If only she knew how silent it’d been without her. We’d
gotten used to her yelling insults when we made dumb
mistakes. Benson’s professional remarks never really
helped. It was Nyx’s taunts that really did the trick, and
Benson just didn’t have it.
“They miss you too,” I told her, kissing her head. “Even
Sebastian.”
Without Nyx, it was like something was missing. She’d
become part of the team, one of our own. Everyone could
feel her absence. Even the guests at the fundraiser had
noticed her disappearance. Her phone suddenly lit up from
its place on the coffee table. The screen showcased a funny
picture of Annie, and I felt Nyx stiffen in my hold.
“You don’t need to answer that, baby.”
She sighed. “I miss them.”
Her words were a little whisper. She didn’t need to tell
me that she missed her sisters. It was evident to everyone.
Nyx had been staying with my parents for the past week,
after my dad commanded that she come to them if she
needed anything. My mom told me that Nyx would cry
herself to sleep or call out to one of her sisters. It had taken
a while for her to get used to being in a room alone, having
shared one with Annie for years and then rooming with me
at my place. When my dad worked the night shift, my mom
would sleep in the guest room where Nyx was.
“I know you do,” I answered, spreading a calming hand
over her back. “But I don’t want you deciding things based
on what everybody else wants. You’ve been doing that for
too long. Just this once, what do you want?”
Nyx went silent for a moment, pondering my words. “At
first, I wanted my original plan back,” she familiarised me,
squirming with my sweater. “I wanted to buy an apartment
and live there with my sisters, give them the life they’ve
always wanted. But now my grandma,” her voice broke,
“my grandma is back. And that changes everything.” She
took in a deep breath. “Don’t get me wrong, I love that
she’s back. I missed her so much, but with her back, I feel
useless. My sisters turned to me in their time of need,
always. Now they don’t have to,” she snorted, “I’m selfish, I
know.”
When her phone buzzed again, I stretched over and
flipped it around. Five missed calls from Annie. “You’re not
selfish.”
Nyx was the furthest thing from selfish. Everything she
did was for her sisters. I was afraid to ask when she last did
something for herself. The answer would most definitely
upset me.
She gulped audibly, staring at the phone. “All these
years, I did my best to protect my sisters, to love them
when my mom couldn’t, when my grandma wasn’t there.
Now she’s back and it just feels like I did everything for
nothing. Who needs Nyx when Grandma is back, huh?” Her
head shook. “It’s silly—”
“Your feelings aren’t silly,” I stated in a steady tone,
seeing my mom enter the room with muffins. With a tender
smile, she deposited it on the table and then walked away,
pledging to bring back some hot chocolate. “Everyone’s
depended on you for so long. Of course it’s gonna feel
weird without that weight. I’m sure you had to get used to
being in charge when your mom left. You made mistakes,
learned to care for your sisters and be the adult until it
became a second nature to you. The same applies here, you
have to get used to Ms Lewis being back, giving her duties
back to her, learning to be just Nyx. You’ve been a mother
and a big sister, now you have to remember to be a
daughter again. It’s gonna take time, baby.”
Nyx reached for a muffin, sniffing it before taking a
nibble as she nodded to my previous words. “I’m glad she’s
back because now Pops and Indie have somebody else who
loves them unconditionally. But with her comes answers I’m
afraid of. All this time, I thought Matthew was my dad. I
don’t even remember my actual dad,” she sniffled again, “I
have so many questions, Beck.” She took another bite,
licking her lips. “I’m not ready for more answers. I’m just
not.”
I kissed the side of her head. “And that’s okay.”
“I’m gonna try,” she announced, picking up a second
muffin. “I’m gonna try, for my sisters. I have my own
questions that I need to ask. Just, not now.”
After a few minutes, my mom stumbled back into the
room, looking sheepish. “Do you mind moving this upstairs?
I forgot I have a book club meeting in five.”
I groaned. “Mom.”
Whenever she hosted the meeting, she made me stand
in front of her friends so they could gush over me and how
much I’d grown. I abhorred it. Some even still pinched my
cheeks until they were red and gave me candy.
Nyx stood up, ignoring me as I reached out for her.
“Don’t be a baby, Hammy,” she taunted, striding around
the table with some muffins in her arms. I watched her
leave, frowning, and my mom cackled, shoving two flasks of
hot chocolate into my arms. With another groan, I followed
Nyx to my room, seeing her staring out of the window, the
muffins stacked on my desk. I placed the flasks next to it.
“What are you staring at?” I questioned, moving behind
her and pulling her back against my chest. Following her
gaze, I saw River seated on the lawn, soaking up the rays of
the sun. That was known as her spot, the place she went to
in order to get out of the house. “Have you spoken to here
yet?” Nyx and River had opposing personalities, but hey,
opposites attract.
She shook her head. “When she sees me taking out the
trash, she turns this weird shade of red and runs away.”
That sounded like River.
I snorted. “That’s because she knows who you are.”
“Your girlfriend?” Nyx pondered out loud, turning
around to face me. The smirk was inevitable, always
appearing when she referred to herself as my girlfriend.
“Annie’s sister,” I corrected. The puzzlement on her face
was amusing. “Back when we all thought something was
going on between Annie and Grayson, Sebastian and I were
talking to my mom about it. River overheard the
conversation.” I watched Nyx’s jaw drop, realisation
dawning on her as she pivoted to gaze out the window
again. “From what my mom’s told me, I’m pretty sure
River’s been in love with Gray since she was five.”
 Nyx cooed and I snorted again. “That’s fucking adorable.
Why aren’t they together?”
My smile dropped slightly as I thought of my best friend.
Nyx wrinkled her nose when she noticed my expression.
“Sebastian might be called an angel because of his looks,
but everything about River is angelic,” I paused, wondering
how to phrase my words, “Gray, he’d never go for
somebody angelic, probably because he’s the furthest from
it.”
“Oh please,” Nyx scoffed, seeming to find my excuse
preposterous. “Grayson’s the sweetest out of all three of
you.” I gave her a look. “I’m serious, bro. I hated him the
least because he’s always been the nicest to me.”
Rolling my eyes, I voiced, “Well, bro. He’s my best
friend, moved to the neighbourhood around when we were
in middle school. I’m pretty sure I can tell what’s a facade
and what’s not.” She was quiet, trying to find the deeper
meaning behind my words. “River’s too good for him, and
before you chew me out, that’s his words, not mine.”
Nyx stared at me intensely. “Gray knows River’s in love
with him?”
I shook my head. “I don’t think he sees her as anything
more than a sister. He probably thinks it’s familial love.”
She winced, glancing one last time at River. “That’s
tough.”
Gripping her waist, I spun her to face me again.
“Enough about River. I’m still stuck on the fact that you
think Gray’s sweeter than me—”
“That’s so one minute ago, bro,” she expressed, walking
away from me and I smiled, watching her devour another
muffin.
The moon gazed down at me as I slumped back onto my
towel, arms curled behind my head. A chilly breeze wafted
through the backyard, providing me with some relaxation. I
could hear splashes coming from the pool, a melodic sound
that’d been playing for the past ten minutes. My shorts
clung to my body, the material becoming frozen the longer I
lay in the icy breeze. But I didn’t mind.
Other than the moon, the backyard was lit up by strings
upon strings of fairy lights, set up by my mom. She’d
insisted she had them laying around, but I knew it was a
lie. My mom was never a great liar. A table stood to one
side, embellished with different snacks and drinks. Again,
my mom had claimed she had it laying around, but I’d seen
the grocery bags in the trash earlier.
I gazed up at the stars, trying to spot some
constellations. It was always a pretty sight, like sparkles
scattered across a dusky fabric. I turned my head slightly
to look at the clock against the door. Just a few more
minutes before it was midnight. My attention was clutched
by the silence. Sitting up, I glanced towards the pool,
where Nyx was. I didn’t see her.
Panicking, I stood up and walked to the edge, peering in.
But I still couldn’t see her. Just as I was about to call out
her name, a hand coiled around my ankle. I bounced nearly
a foot in the air and was met by boisterous laughter. Nyx
was shifting wet hair from her face, beaming up at me.
“You bitch,” I chuckled, splattering her with water as
she paddled away. “You fucking scared me.”
“That was kinda the point, bro,” she shrugged, drifting
on her back. “Get in here.”
I shook my head at her, still grinning. I’d gotten so used
to the perpetual frown, that it was weird seeing her smile.
The week away from everyone was doing her good. Her
sisters had their grandma and she could finally focus on
herself, and heal on her own without having to take
everybody else into consideration.
 Sitting down at the edge of the pool, I placed my feet in
the water. Nyx swam towards me, settling her arms on my
knees. I swept the wet hair from her face. “Have you
decided when you’re coming back?” I urged, towing a
strand and watching her wince.
She shrugged. “I was thinking next week, maybe?” Her
voice held a veiled inquiry and I groaned.
“Nyx, I’m not gonna tell you when you should come
back. That’s an answer you need to figure out on your
own.”
“Fine, then next week,” she declared doggedly, trying to
look as confident in her answer as possible. “I miss the
boys, I miss my sisters and I miss school. I never thought
I’d be saying that, but I miss catching on shit in class with
Nai.” Her eyes went hazy. “Fuck, Nai. I miss her so much.”
I gradually eased into the pool, sighing at the feel of the
chilled water. “She misses you too. I’m sure she’ll be happy
to see you back, taunting people again. I miss that you.”
“I do too,” she said with a rueful smile. “I’m gonna get
her back. I’m gonna get my life back on track and do what’s
best for me.” She’d had another few hours to herself earlier
to contemplate things and I was curious to hear the
conclusion she came to.
Pushing away from the wall, I paddled to the other end
of the pool and she followed. “Good for you, baby. You know
you’ll always have a place here, right?”
She snorted. “I know. But I feel too much like a third
wheel. Did you know your parents have a date night every
few days? It’s adorable.” I nodded because the two were
still in love after all these years. “But I was thinking about
getting my own place. It’s high time I stand on my own two
feet. I mean, instead of thinking of my grandma back as an
intrusion, maybe it’s a good thing?” I quirked a brow,
wading through the water. “Because Indigo and Poppy have
her now—”
 “And now you can do what you want,” I finished and she
grimaced.
“Why the fuck does everything I say sound selfish?” Nyx
exclaimed in an annoyed voice. “First I wanted everybody
to depend on me and not my grandma. Now, it’s like I want
them to depend on her so I can be free. Fuck,” she buzzed,
leaning against the side of the pool to catch her breath. “I
just can’t make up my mind.”
I swam closer, enveloping my arms around her waist.
“You’re torn between freedom, something you’ve never
had, and wanting to be there for your sisters. It’s gonna
take a while to get used to the fact that they no longer only
have you—”
“Yeah, I know. It’s just a difficult concept, sorry if I
sound repetitive.” I pressed a kiss to her lips and she
beamed. “I dunno, I guess I shouldn’t try to plan everything
out. Maybe I should just let things play out. What’s meant
to find me will find me, right?”
I kissed her again, tugging at the string of her bikini.
“Exactly.”
She screeched when a deafening alarm went off,
followed by hysterical screaming. The backdoor shot open
and my mom ran out, launching confetti everywhere. My
dad followed closely behind, carrying a huge cake with
candles. Nyx watched with tears in her eyes. She turned to
look at me, lips parted in astonishment.
“Happy birthday, baby.”
“I—you planned this?” she stammered, watching them
set the cake on the table. My dad disappeared for a few
seconds, carrying gifts that were dropped by the team over
the past few days. One by one, they’d sneakily delivered it.
We all knew she wouldn’t be back by the time her birthday
approached, but we still wanted her to enjoy her day, to
know that she had all of us to come back to.
 “The 27 th of March is just as special to me as it is to
you,” I whispered, kissing her cheek. “Race you to the
cake.” I didn’t give her a chance, already swimming to the
other end of the pool. But when I got there, Nyx was
already at the table, having climbed out to run. I laughed at
her move and she grinned foolishly. My mom planted a
party hat on her head, followed by a birthday sash. I
climbed out, sauntering to the table where the cake was.
“You gonna make a wish?”
She glanced at all of us. And then shook her head. She
blew out the candles, then shrieked when my mom
thumped her face into the cake. “Happy birthday,
sweetheart,” my mom spoke with a roar, rubbing the icing
all over her face. “The big twenty. How do you feel?”
“When you were twenty, we were already trying for
Hammy, weren’t we?’ My dad tantalised, tossing an arm
around my mom. Nyx’s eyes widened and she blushed. I
picked up the rest of the cake and smashed it into my dad’s
face. He pitched back before plunging into the pool. Nyx
slapped a hand over her mouth to stop the laughs from
escaping. “Asshole of a son! Helen, come help me.” When
my mom reached out a hand, he yanked her into the pool.
“Saw that coming from a mile away,” I told Nyx,
watching my mom try and swim away from my dad. “She
falls for it every fucking time.” But Nyx was no longer
watching them. She was gazing up at me, tears in her blue
eyes. Happy tears, of course. She’d done enough
deplorable sobbing to last her a lifetime. “I know it’s not
the best birthday because your sisters aren’t here but—”
Her arms went around my neck and I chuckled at the
icing that was still all over her face. In the background, I
could hear my mom cussing out my dad.
“I love you.” That shut me up. She smiled at my
quietness. “And I’m so damn thankful for you and all that
you represent. I’ve got a long way of healing to go from
here, but it makes it all the more easier to know that I have
you by my side. I love you.”
I bent down, pulling her up so she could bind her legs
around my waist. Clearing some icing from her face, I
muttered, “I love you too.”
She tilted her head, lips settling on mine and I held her
tighter. I disregarded my mom’s wolf-whistle, grinning into
the kiss. I overlooked my dad as he questioned my mom if
she wanted to recreate what Nyx and I were doing. I could
feel Nyx convulsing with laughter before collapsing into a
fit of giggles when my dad said we wanted to get started on
making Hammy Junior, or better yet, Pork Chop.
“Remember when you said that a star in a binary system
could explode into a supernova?’ Nyx inquired suddenly
and I nodded. “I thought it’s happened to me before. But I
think this was it. I called it toxic when you said the other
star gives off some of its mass to help the fallen star
rebuild. It’s not toxic, though, is it?”
Shaking my head, I stated, “It’s not. It’s something
entirely different.”
She nodded. “Law of attraction or love?”
I grinned. “Who cares? Either way, I’m winning.”

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I ’d spent years imagining the moment I’d see my mom
again. It was something I looked forward to; an end
goal. I’d envision what I’d say to her, to torment her the
way she had hurt us when she’d left. I could remember
Poppy’s screams. Sometimes I still heard it in my
nightmares. I had it all planned out, truly. How could I not?
When she’d first left, there was so much sorrow inside of
me that it constantly felt as if I was suffocating. The first
part of my plan involved questions, so many questions. Why
did you leave us? Were we not enough? Did you not love
us? Why would you leave us with him?
It was the inquiries of a girl who experienced so many
controversial things and all she wanted were answers;
answers that she never got. I became tired of seeking those
answers and decided to make my own.
But as time went on, as I saw Matthew take his hatred
out on Poppy and me, as I watched Indigo grow up without
a mother, the sadness dissipated. A surge of bitter anger
supplanted it, not even a blazing one. Ice cold. Fire meant
emotion, passion. And I felt nothing for her. All of my
emotions were solidified into little shards that I wanted to
impale her with, emotionally, of course.
I’d planned to tell her about the girls she had left
behind. I’d wanted her to know that Annie was a brilliant
cook and could very well open her own restaurant one day.
I’d wanted our mom to know that Poppy was fucking
amazing at volleyball and that Indigo had a personality that
could rival all the entertainers in the world. And me, I’d
wanted her to know that I was tough, that I could rise to
the occasion and protect my sisters like I always wanted to.
I wasn’t frail, wasn’t the porcelain doll Matthew had made
me out to be, a doll he’d smashed and glued together to his
heart’s content.
But then she’d gone and died.
What I had now was a grandma who’d been taken from
us. My tongue felt too heavy for my mouth. It was difficult
to hold onto my anger when it seemed like the universe
was paying me back for the anguish I’d been through.
There was just confusion now. Because I knew nothing
about my life and who I was. The air in the place felt too
muggy and my feet felt pulverised in my boots. I was all too
aware of how wet my mouth was, of the blood rushing to
my head and the sound of the clock on the wall. Each tick
sounded through the tense air like a bomb. Yet, neither of
us said anything.
The apartment was larger than I expected and situated
in a bustling part of the city. It was a different kind of noise
compared to a neighbourhood, and I could just picture
Indigo waking up early, rushing to the window to watch
people go about their morning once my grandma adopted
them. My heart clenched at the thought of her. I pushed
aside the guilt, telling myself that space was what I needed.
It had been my mantra for the past week.
I need space.
I’d always made decisions based on what was best for
everybody else. And I couldn’t do that this time. Just this
once, I needed to think about what I needed. And the
answer was space. So I trampled that guilt, buried it and
forced myself to not look back. Yes, I missed my sisters, but
I also missed myself. I missed the sarcastic Nyx who
taunted people. If Matthew couldn’t dim my light over the
years, I couldn’t let a small situation like getting answers
throw me off. I couldn’t allow it.
My grandma sat on a pretty brown loveseat, her hands
placed gently on her knee and head tilted as she gazed at
me. She’d left an awkward teen behind and was now
looking at a woman. Her blue gaze was piercing, and I
turned away, staring at the numerous pictures of my sisters
and me that bordered the walls.
I frowned. Many of them were old pictures of us, but
some were recent. There was a picture from Indigo’s recital
and one from Poppy’s last volleyball match. I swallowed
roughly when I saw one that Annie had taken of me on my
first day at USC. Annie and I were smiling like idiots at the
camera.
Afraid that I’d lose my nerve, I said, “Tell me about my
dad.”
My grandma stopped, a fracture appearing in the
peaceful facade she put out. Even I was stunned at how
loudly I’d spoken. I might as well have just screamed.
Slowly, she stood up and travelled towards a bookshelf. I
watched as she kneeled, ransacking through a little box.
When she returned, she held out a tiny photo of a man
with ginger hair and soothing green eyes. It triggered
nothing. “Robert Aster.” Her voice quivered again.
With trembling hands, I took the picture from her. My
head was whirling. I felt like I was on a boat, crossing wild
waves. My throat clogged and I could feel every hair on my
arms rise. I looked at the picture as if it was a piece of gold
that I’d just dug up.
My dad.
 He was beaming at the camera, his eyes creasing at the
sides in the same way that Poppy’s did. I sniffled, repeating
his name before I realised something. “Aster is Greek for—”
“For star,” my grandma concluded with a watery laugh,
dabbing underneath her eyes. “Nyx Aster. His little night
star, he called you.” The discomfort in my chest grew
tremendously and I worried that I was about to go into
cardiac arrest. “I always thought of him as a son. He was
like a breath of fresh air after dealing with Matthew and
Eliza,” she proceeded, returning to her seat and allowing
me to keep the picture.
Like me, she tried to feign indifference. “Is this the part
where Matthew knocks my mom up?” I urged, running a
thumb over my dad’s smile as I remembered what Annie
had told me.
She nodded, looking down at her lap and fidgeting with
her fingers. “There’s more to it than that, Nyx.” Her
shoulders were stiff with strain. “Eliza has always been
obsessed with Matthew, claimed to be in love with him. For
what reason? I have no idea. She spoke about him all the
time, throughout high school.” Her eyes met mine. “But I
was soothed by the knowledge that Matthew didn’t return
her feelings.” Her voice broke. “I didn’t know how obsessed
my daughter was until it was too late. Scraps, she’d take
scraps from Matthew as long as he gave her attention. She
let him treat her like a dog, only ever calling her when he
needed his bed warmed. As her mother, I was horrified.”
“I’m assuming Annie was the outcome of these nights.”
She nodded, looking slightly ashamed. “Matthew
claimed Eliza swore she was on birth control but she lied
—”
“Shit,” I mumbled to myself. I didn’t want to sympathise
with Matthew, didn’t want to understand him. Because no
reason was ever good enough for abuse. But his anger
towards my mom and his belief that she’d ruined his life—it
was all beginning to add up.
 Her lips quirked slightly at my muttered curse. “His
parents disowned him because they didn’t want anything to
do with him and his supposed bastard. Your mom ruined his
life by forcing her dreams of being with him. He didn’t care
for Eliza nor the baby, a fact that greatly upset her.”
“And of course she didn’t give up,” I mumbled, frowning.
If only she’d been that persistent when we needed her to
get us out of Matthew’s clutches.
“She did, actually,” my grandma muttered. “She cut
herself off from Matthew and dedicated her time to Annie
and finding a job. Robbie was the son of a friend of mine
and had been part of our lives since the day he was born.”
My breath hitched. “He was ten times the man Mathew is.
Without even blinking, he would babysit Annie whilst your
mom went job searching. He’d drive me around town when
I needed to get out of the house. He’d even take Indigo to
school—” Her eyes teared up at the mention of her
youngest daughter, the first to leave her. “Like I said,
Robbie was a breath of fresh air. It wasn’t a wonder your
mom fell in love with him or that they ended up together.”
I glimpsed back at the picture I held as my grandma
sent me a soft smile. “Why does it sound like you’re saying
that with guilt?”
“Because I think your mom loved what Robbie
represented; a good man. It gave her hope that Matthew
would pull up his socks and upgrade from monthly visits to
proposing marriage.”
My heart gave a weird squeeze. “Did Robbie love her?”
My grandma shrugged. “He loved everybody, whether
they deserved it or not. He had no regard for Matthew
though. I had to make sure they never ran into each other
during one of Matthew’s visits.”
“I’m finding it hard to believe that my mom didn’t care
about Matthew,” I added suspiciously. For my mom to have
gone back to an abusive asshole, she had to have been
obsessed. What my grandma was saying, it didn’t sound
like the woman I’d known.
“Maybe she did, maybe she didn’t. But I tried to limit the
contact between them. I didn’t want Eliza to be pulled back
to him. And Matthew didn’t really care either, so that
helped. He only visited out of duty to Annie.”
Frowning, I mumbled, “Poor Annie.”
My grandma shook her head with a smile filled with
memories. “I didn’t pity her. Robbie loved her more than
Matthew ever could. He was a father before he even
realised it, before you even came along. But boy, when you
did,” she grinned, “I’d never seen him that happy.”
My mouth felt dry. “Annie’s always reminding me about
how much he loved me.”
“He did. He loved you so much, Nyxie. I remember he
took you everywhere with him. Your birth healed wounds
he didn’t even know he had—wounds inflicted by your
mom.” My jaw slackened in shock. “She asked him to not
kiss or hold her in front of Annie in fear of confusing the
poor girl. That should’ve been my first hint Eliza still cared
what Matthew thought. He’d question Annie during visits,
and he didn’t want her to confuse Robbie for him; her dad.
Eliza complied. Robbie didn’t think much of it because he
may have been Uncle Robbie to Annie, but he was still your
dad.”
“So my mom didn’t want to give Annie the impression
that her and Robbie were together?” I asked slowly,
realising that she’d had that impression regardless.
She nodded. “Annie was still young, didn’t understand
romantic notions nor give much thought to it so the excuse
was pathetic. Robbie knew that, which was probably why it
hurt. As the years went on, I saw my little girl returning,
Eliza was happier and Matthew’s visits were becoming less
frequent.”
I changed my position on the couch, feeling my ass go
comatose. “Then what happened?”
 I watched her blink away tears. “Life was going well.
Then Indigo got cancer.” She stared at me for a long
moment and then swallowed. “Your mom was never the
same after Indigo got sick and it affected all of her
relationships. Matthew took that as an opportunity to dig
his claws into her.”
Glancing at the photo, with a shaky voice, I asked, “And
him?”
The silence was excruciating as I waited for an answer.
Then she articulated. “Just after your seventh birthday,
he’d taken you to the park. I remember you being sad
because your parents were fighting. Robbie was worried
about Eliza and the baby she carried but all she cared
about was the fact that Matthew was lonely, that he had
nobody and that they should help him. Eliza took Annie to
visit Matthew. So your dad took you out for the day, even
bought some clothes for your new sibling.” My breathing
slowed down. “A truck collided with his car,” she paused,
holding my gaze.
My breath left me in one whoosh. Although I knew what
happened, it struck me all the same. Maybe it was because
this time, it meant much more. This wasn’t just Uncle
Robbie. This was my dad. I couldn’t breathe. Not at all. My
eyes prickled and I blinked rapidly, not wanting to cry in
front of her. I’d done enough crying over the past few
weeks.
Whilst I tried to gather my thoughts, my grandma went
back over to the box by the bookshelf. I disregarded her,
feeling the lump push its way up my throat, triggering
more tears. My dad wasn’t even dead for long before my
mom had gone back to Matthew.
Before she’d fucking married him.
“And she just went back to Matthew?” I asked, my
disgust obvious.
She seemed slightly ashamed. “I hated her for it. But
she wouldn’t listen, claimed you girls needed a father more
than ever. I pitied both you and Poppy because you
wouldn’t know your dad.” Her next words made bile crawl
up my throat. “I know the amnesia made things worse for
you because you couldn’t remember the man your mom
was trying to replace. One of the first symptoms we
detected was that you couldn’t remember what occurred
before the accident. And you had great difficulty accessing
older memories. They said it’d get better as time went on,
but living with Matthew didn’t really help.”
“Get better?’ I questioned.
She nodded. “We’d have to keep bringing up some
things in your past as you grew older and I tried my best
while I was still part of your life. But Matthew forbid it.”
Her gaze was remorseful. “Although, it’s never too late to
try.”
A hand was in front of me. She was holding out another
picture. Breathing laboriously, I took it from her and flipped
it around. Staring back at me were two faces, mine and my
dad’s. I looked no older than five, donning a black dress
with little stars on it. My dad had me in his arms, pointing
at the camera and grinning. He was no doubt telling me to
smile before the picture was taken. His green eyes rivalled
my blue ones in brightness, like the sun gleaming directly
onto a fresh leaf.
As if the picture triggered something within me, I could
retrieve the moment of the picture almost perfectly. I could
hear him. I could hear his voice, light and filled with love.
Smile for the camera, pretty girl.
And then I smiled, my mom capturing the moment in a
timeless picture. I remembered it perfectly. And I was sure
there were millions of memories with him I was
suppressing because of trauma.
My grandma must’ve seen the recognition in my eyes
because she responded, “I have an entire box of pictures of
the two of you.” I raised my head, feeling tears streaming
down my cheeks. “Maybe it’ll jog your memory? Annie was
his daughter in every way but blood. But you, you were
completely his. He was obsessed with you, could never put
you down long enough for me to change your diaper.”
She handed me another picture. In this one, I appeared
at least two years old. I was asleep on my dad’s chest, and
he was knocked out too. Drool was trickling from my mouth
and onto his bare chest. I looked closely, and on the left
side of his chest, right where his heart was, were dark
words tattooed into the skin. Nyx Aster, followed by my
birthday. Daddy’s girl. I was a daddy’s girl.
“Thank you,” I spoke after a while, clearing my tears.
“For giving me clarity.” She nodded, muttering that I could
keep the photos of my dad. “Why’d you stay away?” Besides
the restraining order, I wanted to add.
“I didn’t want to,” she responded smoothly, honestly. “I
only wanted what was best for you girls and that best was
not with Matt and Eliza. When I tried to do something, my
own daughter took out a restraining order against me. Our
justice system is pathetic and ends up hurting some people
more than helping them.” She raised a hand to dab at her
eyes. “Regardless, the journey was dreadful, tumultuous for
all involved. I just hope we can get better now, to heal.
That’s all I want.”
Her words struck something deep within me because it
was what I wanted too. “Time,” I hummed, catching her
attention. “I’m gonna need time before everything will be
okay.”
Teary eyes followed her smile. “Time. I can give you
time.” We stared at one another for a moment.
Understanding passed between us.
The doorbell rang suddenly and my nerves spiked, not
anticipating her to have had visitors. She hopped to her
feet and hastened to the door. When it opened, I watched
her greet whoever was on the other side with enthusiasm,
pushing all grief from her expression.
 My heart plummeted as I saw her lead Matthew’s other
wife into the living room, accompanied by the two little
girls that looked like Indigo. I picked up my bag and
ducked out of the room, hiding behind my bag and
swerving around them to move to the door. It was rude of
me to not greet, but I was in too much shock. My grandma
excused herself and followed me into the hallway.
“What the hell?” I hissed, hoping the woman didn’t
recognise me from that time I’d beaten up Matthew’s car.
That would make things a little too awkward.
I slipped the photos into my bag as my grandma gently
shut the door behind her so they couldn’t hear our
conversation. She admonished my language and I rolled my
eyes. Somebody needed to remind her that I was a grown
woman.
“Fiona is her name,” she said gently. “I’m helping her
get through this. Matthew left her with next to nothing,
having gambled a lot of her money whilst he was in hiding.
She needs as much support as she can get. I won’t let her
do it on her own.”
I nodded again, like an idiot. “That’s good.”
She smiled and I was about to awkwardly walk away
when she stopped me. I raised a brow and she cleared her
throat.
“I just wanted to wish you a happy belated birthday.” I
stilled. “It’s been twenty years since you blessed our lives.
Your dad would be proud of the woman you’ve become.”
I didn’t say it, but that was the best birthday present she
could’ve given me. I’d spent years trying to be the ideal
daughter to a man who didn’t deserve it. He’d made me
believe there was something wrong with me. But I had a
dad. I had a dad, and he had loved me with everything that
he was. I didn’t get the chance to properly know him.
Poppy didn’t even get the chance to meet him. But he loved
us, and that was a balm for all the scars Matthew had left
us with.
“You wanna say a few words?” Annie asked, standing
beside the little pile of dirt that topped off where our mom
was buried. Her tombstone wasn’t ready yet. All that was
there was a little board with her information on it.
It was sad, I had to admit.
Beckham stood to the side, arms wrapped around a
sombre Julie. Georgia was with them and so was our
grandma. There were some benches that were occupied by
Nailea, Beth and Grayson. Sebastian chose to stand,
leaning uncomfortably against a tree. Although my mom’s
funeral had already passed, Georgia suggested that it
would be a good idea if we all went to make peace with her
—so we could move on.
Poppy was the first to step forward after Annie’s inquiry,
all cosy in her thick jacket to combat the cold weather. I’d
had a long talk with her the other night. She was old
enough to understand what was happening, and I didn’t
want to keep her in the dark. She’d cried, as I’d expected,
but along with that tears came relief.
“I’m sorry that we weren’t enough,” my blonde sister
began, her hand clutched in mine. Immediately, I saw
Georgia and my grandma wince. “I’m more sorry that you
didn’t get to see what happened to us. When you left, I was
seven years old.” Her lower lip quivered and I heard her
sniffle. “I don’t really remember you and I’ve stopped
forcing myself to. I’m turning thirteen soon,” her voice
cracked. “I’m sorry you can’t see me now. But I just want
you to know that I no longer flinch when a door slams,” she
uttered proudly. “I’m not scared anymore. And I think that’s
something to be proud of. I think I’m probably the angriest
—”
“Poppy,” I intervened when I felt her begin to shake with
rage, but my grandma stopped me.
 She gave me an encouraging smile. “Let her bury it. It’s
time.”
Poppy looked up at me. The two of us had been through
the most with Matthew because of our mom. I couldn’t
imagine her carrying that much hatred for the rest of her
life. So I nodded. She took in a deep breath.
“I have a lot of anger inside me. Grandma says it’s
because I was abandoned. But I don’t think I was. I think I
was freed from you. I only wish you could’ve had the same
freedom from whatever tormented you.” She stepped
forward, crouching down to place a stuffed bunny on the
dirt. “You gave this to me to protect me from the dark. It’s
time to give it back because I know it’s dark where you are
right now.”
She didn’t say anything else, moving over to stand by
Julie. Her shoulders were shaking and she wouldn’t meet
anyone’s gaze. Annie seemed to be composing herself.
“Indie,” she looked down at the girl. “Would you like to
go next?”
She shrugged. “How do I say bye to someone I didn’t
know?”
A loud crack of thunder filled the silence. I closed my
eyes, feeling my stomach clench. Annie looked like she was
fighting to find the right words. Neither Georgia nor my
grandma looked willing to open their mouths, heartbreak
keeping their words back. I glanced around, spotting
Beckham consoling Poppy, the latter holding him as if she
would sink to the ground if he let go. Julie was rubbing her
back.
Grayson tipped his head, motioning for Beth to move
forward. With a sigh, the tall woman stood up from her seat
next to Nailea and moved over to my youngest sister.
“I don’t think I knew my mom either and she didn’t
know me. At least, she refused to know me.” She spared
Annie a meaningful glance. “I’ve been putting this off
because I didn’t want to accept it, but I guess it’s time to
say goodbye to my mom too.”
Indigo pouted in concern. “Is she dead?”
Beth smiled sadly. “To me. Like your mom, she didn’t
take the time to know her daughter. Which is a pity
because we’re both awesome.” Indigo giggled. “So let’s say
goodbye together.”
“You go first.”
“Okay,” Beth said. Instead of staring at the pile of dirt,
she closed her eyes. “I’m sorry that our definitions of love
aren’t the same. Your love seeks to restrain. I know now
what love is supposed to be. And I’m sorry you couldn’t
know it with me.” She opened her eyes, a singular tear
slipping down her cheek.
It was Indigo that wiped it away. She looked at where
my mom’s tombstone would soon be. “I’m awesome and I’m
sorry you couldn’t know me.” That pulled some laughter
from our group and Beth grinned, standing up with Indigo
in her hold.
Annie slipped her hand into Beth’s before saying, “I’ve
already made my peace at the funeral.” Her gaze landed on
me, everyone seemingly holding their breath. “You ready?”
I licked my suddenly dry lips, stepping forward slightly.
My heart thrummed restlessly, urging me to do something.
I stared down at where the hole in the ground once was.
My mom was buried there. Arms that I would once burrow
into were now six feet under the ground. And I wasn’t sad.
I couldn’t summon that pain at the death of my mom.
“When Georgia first told me you were dead, I wasn’t
sad,” I said, staring down at my feet. “The guilt came next.
I felt guilty because you’re my mom and I’m supposed to
mourn you. But it’s not me that should feel guilty.” I looked
at the board with her name. “It’s you. You should feel guilty
because you have a daughter that doesn’t care for you. Ask
yourself why.” Thunder crackled above us again, telling me
to speed things up before it started pouring. Annie settled a
hand on my back. “The sadness that I feel right now, it’s
not mine. I think it’s yours.”
The first drop of rain hit. “I think it’s because you
understand that most of my scars fade with you not being
here. And that’s alright. That’s okay.” Thunder crackled
again. “I hope you’re at peace. Because I am. We all are.”
I didn’t know how long I stood there, the rain beating
down onto the earth. Georgia led my grandma and younger
sisters to her car, mentioning something about dinner at
her place. Poppy wouldn’t let go of Beckham so he was
forced to ride with them. He sent me a look and I nodded, a
small smile on his face. Pride filled my chest as he picked
Poppy up, carrying her to Georgia’s minivan.
My mom had brought a man into our lives, and he’d hurt
us in a way that I’d never forget. I’d brought a man into my
sisters’ lives, but he loved them. He loved them almost as
much as he loved me. The vast difference between me and
her made me want to scream in relief. The first step to her
downfall was choosing Matthew. Being constantly told that
I was exactly like her by Matthew, I think I’d proved him
wrong by choosing somebody like Beckham.
The rain drenched me completely and I watched
Sebastian hop into Beckham’s car, having to drive it
because the owner couldn’t. Grayson followed him,
beckoning for Beth and Annie to follow. My sister squeezed
my shoulder.
“You coming?”
I shook my head. “I need a moment.”
Nailea walked towards me, her curls plastered against
her face. “I’ll drive her.”
Annie nodded in thanks before dragging Beth away, the
two practically sprinting to the car to get out of the rain as
they laughed. Another smile pulled at my lips. Annie
deserved that.
I wrapped my arms around myself, seeing lightning
strike between dark clouds. “You’re amazing,” Nailea said
quietly, hooking her arm through mine. “I hope you know
that.” I rested my head on hers, seeing as she was too short
for me to reach her shoulder. “I also hope you know that
Beck wasn’t lying when he said you don’t have to do it all
on your own. I’m here, Nyx.”
“I know you are,” I murmured over the sound of the
rain. “And I love you for always going the extra mile. I love
you for never asking questions but still helping. I love you
for taking a chance on me. I love you for being my best
friend.”
Her grip on me tightened, followed by her teasing voice.
“So we’re using that term now? Am I allowed to call you my
best friend? You think I deserve that privilege?”
Turning to look at her, I smiled. “You earned that
privilege the second you decided to drive to Skid Row to
get me and another thirty minutes through traffic back to
school.”
Her eyes watered. “I can’t tell if I’m crying or if a really
heavy raindrop just hit my eyeball.” I laughed as her left
eye turned red. She smiled through the pain. “I love you.”
Having the admission said in front of my mom’s grave
held a deeper meaning. Somehow, I felt my mom’s sadness
increase. Because I was finally receiving the love I’d been
deprived of.
And she was witnessing it, wherever she was now.

OceanofPDF.com
I stared long and carefully at all of the men packed into
my living room. There were a lot of them, nineteen, to be
exact. Settled comfortably on the couches were Grayson,
Jasper, Jai, Sebastian and Oliver. In front of them, on the
floor around the coffee table was; Elijah, Levi, Maddox,
Aiden, Danny and Jonas—the full second team. I glimpsed
at the others that were pitching against the wall. It’d been
a while since all of us were in the same space since the rest
were away for most of the time, playing community
matches. But that didn’t mean that I knew them any less
than the two teams that I always played with. I was still
their captain, and we all were affected by our recent losses
against UCLA. It put them off which affected their matches
against other schools.
“It’s been a rough couple of weeks,” I started, taking a
second to run my eyes across all of their faces. Most of
them looked defeated. “And I’m talking about more than
just the losses.” At those words, I peered at my first team
and they stared back tiredly.
“Contrary, to what everybody else thinks, our lives most
definitely do not revolve around hockey. We don’t live and
breathe on the ice.” There were murmurs of assent. “We
have lives outside of it, lives that are sometimes overlooked
because of our dedication to the sport. And I don’t think
that’s healthy.”
Jasper beamed. “Preach, sister.”
I disregarded him but couldn’t stop the tiny twist of my
lips. “Before I was captain,” I didn’t say Nate’s name, not
wanting to perturb anyone, “there was no such thing as
breaks. We worked our asses off and received nothing in
return, not even acknowledgement. The praises were taken
by our previous captain.” Some of them stilled. “But a
captain is only as good as his team. And right now, we all
aren’t doing well. I want us to be able to say we’re okay
before we step foot onto the ice.”
Jai leaned forward, elbows on his knees. “UCLA won’t
know what hit them after we come back.” I nodded,
savouring the fact that enthusiasm was being passed
around the room. Some guys added in their own little
thoughts and I watched, nodding.
“Once we’re all back in shape,” Aiden appended, “I bet
there won’t be any losses—”
“Don’t jinx it!” At least fifteen of them barked at him and
he raised his hands in capitulation, chuckling lowly to
himself at the reception he was able to pull. I shook my
head at him, smirking in amusement.
Probably struggling to figure out how to phrase his
question, Jai peeped at me. “So, when can we expect the
return of our captain’s girl?”
“The captain’s girl has a fucking name, Jairaj,” Nyx
answered as she shifted through the front door, files
clasped to her chest. Her tone was dripping in joviality
which was why Jai didn’t look abashed but rather sent her
the biggest fucking smile that I’d ever seen on his face.
“Her name’s Froufrou,” she renewed, taking a few steps
into the living room before glimpsing at the rest of the guys
and stirring the files to one arm. “For those of y’all that are
confused, that’s his butt plug he hides in his sock drawer
—”
“You fucking liar,” I cut her off, about to move towards
her when Jasper abruptly bulldozed her.
The files plummeted to the ground and she was in his
arms, elevated high in the air and being spun.
Understandable, they hadn’t seen her in a while. Her face
was crushed into the side of his neck and he cupped the
back of her head, kissing her hairline repeatedly.
“God, don’t ever leave me again,” Jasper told her, still
kissing her head so his words came out warped. “I’m
getting us friendship bracelets soon, how does handcuffs
sound? That way, you can’t leave me.”
Nyx snorted, tossing her head back when Jasper shook
her as if he couldn’t believe she was in front of him. “Sorry,
Jas. Only Beck gets to handcuff me.” I chuckled when she
winked at me.
The next to stand up was Oliver and he did the same,
picking her up in his arms and dishevelling her hair. He
grumbled something about missing the only other pretty
person. Grayson soon followed, dropping a loud kiss on her
cheek and hugging her tightly, although he’d seen her last
week.
Jai then swaggered towards her and held out a hand.
“Who would’ve thought I’d end up missing you?” But he
embraced her anyway, wrapping his arms around her waist
and lifting her, squeezing, and then dropping her. “You’re
an absolute pain in my ass.”
Nyx shifted to me, face red from being suffocated by her
boys. “I thought guys loved pains in their asses. Isn’t that
why you have Froufrou—”
“Shut up,” I hummed, walking around Jai to drag her
into my arms. She slumped into my embrace, giggling the
entire time and I dropped my forehead to hers. “I hate
you.”
 She stepped back, softly patting my stubbled jaw.
“Cute.”
When she whirled around, Sebastian was standing there.
“Good to have you back,” he said stiffly. Rolling her eyes,
she pulled him into a hug, one that he returned
wholeheartedly.
After that, Nyx was welcomed back by each member of
the team and she questioned everyone about what she’d
missed. They filled her in on every single detail of their
lives, loving that she was giving them her full attention.
She was back, the vigorous Nyx, the funny Nyx. She was
finally back.
And this time, there was nothing holding her back. No
abusive dad, no missing mom, no heavy responsibilities to
provide for her sisters. She finally had the chance to be a
carefree twenty-year-old.
The development was only obvious to those who really
knew her. Jasper was beaming from afar the entire time,
seeing her joke around with the team. He caught my eye
and tipped his head and I did the same. Whilst Nyx was
enjoying herself, I picked up the files she abandoned and
brought them to our room, piling them on my desk. As I
passed the window, amongst the cars belonging to my
teammates, I saw Nailea’s car. I opened the window, ready
to call out to her, but stopped.
Nailea looked like she was hyperventilating. She
climbed out of her car, took two steps towards my house
and then turned around. This process carried on for about
five minutes. She placed a hand over her mouth and let out
a repressed scream, stomping her foot. And then the tears
came, pouring down her face as she furiously rubbed at
them. But nothing she did would stop it. It was weird
watching that because she was Nailea. There was never
anything but a smile on her face.
Laughter came from downstairs before I heard a loud
splash. They were moving to the pool. My mind was
spinning, trying to figure out if I should talk to Nailea or
not. The front door opened suddenly. Nailea was too busy
berating herself and wiping her tears to know that
Sebastian was marching onto the lawn to get something
from his car. He halted when he saw her, but there was
zero emotion on his face.
She hadn’t spotted him yet, still crying. When she did,
she looked mortified, cleaning her face. Sebastian didn’t
say anything, just observed her. Almost stumblingly, Nailea
hopped back into her car, nearly tripping over her feet.
With one last look at Sebastian, she reversed and raced
down the street. He watched the fading car for a second
before looking back at me. He knew I was watching.
Somehow, he always knew when somebody was
watching him.
I shut the curtain, turning in time to see Nyx enter the
room, her clothes and hair dripping wet. “Jasper tossed me
into the fucking pool.” I snorted, watching her strip out of
the jeans and sweater before trudging to my drawer and
snatching a t-shirt. I couldn’t even find it in myself to ogle
her, too busy thinking about what just happened. It
reminded me of what had happened last year.
“Do you remember that rumour that spread about you?”
I didn’t need to specify which one. Nyx slid the t-shirt
over her head before shedding her panties and bra so they
could dry. She raised a brow at the mention of the rumour
as she reached for a clean set of underwear and put it on.
“You mean the one you supposedly started?” she
quipped, grinning at me as she tied her hair up into a tight
bun.
I nodded, still pondering. “I saw you crying.” Nyx
frowned. “That day in the empty classroom.” She was
gawking at me now, scepticism in her eyes. “I saw you
crying and I’ve never felt guilt like that before. I felt worse
because the rumour was pinned on me and in a way, it was
my fault. So I put an end to the rumour.”
 Nyx took a step closer to me, nearly gliding in the
puddle that she’d built with her wet clothes. “You stopped
the rumour?” I nodded, barely able to say anything before
she was in my arms, hers swathed around my neck and her
legs around my waist. “Jesus, did you ever even hate me?”
She was laughing.
I shrugged, pressing a kiss to her lips. “That’s one of the
world’s mysteries, baby.” I brought her over to the bed
before sitting down. “How’s Annie doing?” I urged.
She ran her fingers through my hair and I overcame a
shudder. “She’s good. Beth wants her to move in, and I can
tell Annie’s scared to leave us behind. Leave me behind
specifically.”
I nodded. “Yeah, I’ve noticed some of her stuff slowly
being moved from the house. But she hasn’t openly said
she was leaving.”
“She’s scared to,” Nyx said. “But I told her it’s no
problem. She deserves her happily ever after.”
“And your grandma?”
“It looks like she’s going to get custody of the girls.
Poppy and Indie are ecstatic,” she responded, glancing to
the window. “I can’t wait to go back to classes. Normalcy, I
need normalcy now. And I called in, they’re changing my
name on the register to Nyx Aster.”
I grinned, kissing her again. “At that club that we went
to, your ID said Kennedy Taylor.” It was something that’d
been playing on my mind for a while. To me, she was
always Nyx. There was no way she seemed like a Kennedy.
She rolled her eyes and I snorted. “Matthew had my
birth certificate changed. The story I was told was that he
didn’t think Nyx was a suitable first name. But recently, my
grandma said he wanted no reminders of my birth dad,
even my name because he named me. And,” she paused,
“speaking of Matthew.”
Her features were pinched. “What?”
 “Fiona, who’s his other wife,” I nodded, “she got a call
from the prison he’s being held at. There’s supposed to be
a court hearing in two months and she was worried they’d
cancelled it or planned to release him or something.” She
was trembling and I could hear the anxiety in her voice. I
ran a hand down her back, trying to calm her down. “But it
was something else entirely.” Another pause, one that had
me worried. “He,” she lamented, “he was brutally
murdered when all of the inmates were being led back to
their cells after lunch.”
Absolute shock. Frost worked down my spine as I gazed
into Nyx’s eyes, at the muddle of emotions that I discovered
there. “Brutally, you said?”
Brutal could mean something disturbing to us outside of
prison, but to inmates, it was just a pinch.
She nodded. “I don’t know the full story, but a group had
been finding a way to smother utensils from the kitchen for
about two weeks. Knives,” she stressed. “Police are saying
it was an inside job, someone on the kitchen staff had to be
working with them. Whilst they were lining up they just,”
she shrugged, “attacked, I guess. Each member had a knife
and they went for it. 178 stab wounds all over his body, his
throat sliced and guts pulled out. A knife to each eye. They
sliced his ears off as well as his dick—”
“Okay, fuck,” I stopped her, quaking at the image of my
dick being cut off. “I believe you now when you say brutal.
And the police just stood aside?”
“I think you underestimate how many were part of this
plan. The police reacted immediately but there were too
many men to get around. The men that weren’t part of the
plan held the police back to prevent them from using their
weapons when they realised that something big was
happening. It was impossible to stop them.” Her eyes found
mine. “The moment they were satisfied with his mutilated
body, the prisoners just dropped their knives and got back
into line. The police were astounded that they didn’t try to
attack them. They just wanted Matthew. Word got around
what he got arrested for, I guess. A lot of those men that
went for him were fathers who had gone to extremes to
protect their families.”
And Matthew was a man who had abused his family. He
was a disgrace of a man and the inmates thought a lifetime
in prison wasn’t enough for him. They were the judges and
the jury that chose his fate. I thought about it for a second,
still astounded by what she just said. Murdered.
Brutally murdered when he hadn’t even expected it. I
couldn’t feel sorry, I couldn’t. He deserved it for what he’d
put the Taylor girls through. Aster, I corrected myself. All
of them, even Annie and Indigo, were Aster girls.
“There’s honour amongst criminals.” She nodded with a
small smile. “And how do you feel?”
It didn’t take long for her to think about her answer. In
fact, she answered speedily. “Grandma and Fiona won’t let
us see the pictures. Matthew suffered, without a doubt.
They left his throat and eyes for last so he was suffering
through most of the wounds.” Her lips quirked. “I feel
great.”
Smirking, I stated, “Sociopath.”
Her smile dropped and her features turned obstinate.
“Just because I enjoy—”
“Watching vile men suffer, doesn’t mean you’re a
sociopath,” I concluded, delighted to see her laughing to
the point where she nearly toppled off my lap. “Yes, I know,
baby.” She giggled into my neck when I pulled her closer
and I grinned. She was most definitely back. “Do the little
ones know?”
I felt her shake her head, getting a puff of chlorine from
her hair. “Indie, Jade and Rue don’t know. They think he’s
in prison. Grandma says she doesn’t want to traumatise
them. And Poppy was eavesdropping.” She pulled back so
she could look me in the eye. Her features distorted into
one of concern. “She was ecstatic.”
 Unable to help myself, I chuckled. “Definitely your
fucking sister.”
Nyx rolled her eyes, although she was smiling again.
“Georgia says she went to bed without turning on her
nightlight. That’s never happened before because she’d
been terrified of the dark for the longest time. When I saw
her the next day and asked why she’s no longer using her
nightlight, you know what she told me?” I gestured for her
to continue. “She told me she has no reason to be afraid
because there’s no monster in the dark anymore.” Her eyes
closed. “I don’t know how I never pieced it together. The
first time Matthew hit Poppy, it was the night our power
went out. There were no candles because Poppy cut them
all a while back to make snow for her dolls. Matthew was
pissed and beat her. And she couldn’t close her eyes in the
dark again.”
The only reason I wasn’t pissed as hell was because I
knew the fucker was already dead. And he’d suffered. “He
deserved the death he got.”
“He did. He most definitely did.” She sighed, cupping
my face. “Thank you for sticking around and helping me
through my worst, even when I was an absolute bitch to
you. Thank you for helping my family although you had no
reason to, although I did what I did last year. My standards
were so fucking low because of the image Matthew painted
of men. The bar was so low that you could step over it. But
you, Beckham Hunt, found a fucking plane and flew over
that bar even though you didn’t need to. You went above
and beyond for me and I will never stop loving you because
of it.”
Her eyes were damp and I knew it was because she
loathed talking about feelings. So I rubbed away the one
tear that succeeded to escape and replied, “I will do
anything for you. Anything.” I kissed beneath both eyes and
she closed them, leaning into my touch. “I love you.” I
pushed to my feet and she squealed, holding me tighter.
“Let’s go check on our kids.”
“Oh so you understood what I meant when I said Benson
wasn’t the papa,” she taunted, trying to tickle me but
stopped when I humorously threatened to fling her down
the stairs like a beach ball.
When we stepped into the backyard, we found 18 idiots
splattering in the pool in their underwear. Sebastian was
probably in his room after what he’d witnessed with Nailea.
“They are our kids, aren’t they?” Nyx mused. “I love
them.”
I dropped her to her feet, making sure my shirt covered
what it needed to. “I love them too, but don’t tell them
that.”
She grinned at me, turning to gaze at them. They looked
felicitous, no longer under strain because of the matches.
Hopefully, we’d be back on the ice in no time and better
than ever. We still had many months left to win the
Crosstown Cup, and we needed the break.
The first twelve weeks had already passed by in a blur.
So much had happened in that time span, I’d overcame the
obstacle impeding me from being with Nyx. And she’d
managed to get out of that godawful position she was
ensnared in.
A few months ago, it all seemed impossible. Yet, here we
were, I thought as I gaped at her, watching her grin at the
sight of my teammates. Her teammates. Because she was
part of the team, there was no doubt about it. She would
always be one of us and have a place among us.
Jasper was bouncing along the edges of the pool,
shaking his ass. Nyx twitched beside me and I fought a
smile. I knew exactly what she was thinking.
“Revenge, baby,” I murmured.
With a loud laugh, she dashed forward and shoved
Jasper with a mighty push. He screeched, flying back and
splashing into the water. Before Nyx could let out a jubilant
laugh, I was behind her and pushed. She landed in the
water, breaking the surface to give me a mocking look of
betrayal.
But she was stopped from scolding me when Jasper
tackled her and the two proceeded to try and drown each
other. I watched with a broad smile, feeling happier than
I’d ever been before. As I stepped back to remove my shirt
so I could swim alongside my pissed off girlfriend, I thought
back to after I’d first met Nyx, that fateful November of her
freshman year.
I’d gone home and I remembered telling Grayson that
one day, Nyx would be my girlfriend. He’d nodded,
believing me. It had taken a lot of tribulations to get where
we were, a lot of obstructions. But we’d overcame them all
and she was finally mine. I loved her with everything I was
and she loved me in return. A simple affirmation was like
an electromagnet. Like I’d told Nyx, what belonged to you
would find you. And we’d found each other, eventually.
Simple Law of Attraction.

OceanofPDF.com
 Seven years later

I was going to be so fucking late. For the past week,

they’d been hounding me; be there at one, Nyxie. It
played in my head like a mantra, and I thought for sure
I’d be on time. But it was past twelve and I was only rolling
over in bed now, a cheerio stuck to my fucking forehead.
With a disgruntled groan, I slipped out of bed and wiped
the cereal from my head. Through dazed eyes, I glimpsed
around the room, trying to figure out what the fuck was
going on. My eyes crash-landed on the clock and I freaked.
“Holy shit!” I launched to my feet, stubbing my big toe
against the edge of the bed. “Are you fucking kidding me?”
I bellowed, venturing to lift my foot to scrutinise the
damage but, incidentally, forgetting that my stomach was
the size of a fucking beach ball. I stifled the urge to sob,
moving to my closet to get an outfit. There was no time to
waste. Passing the mirror, I stared at myself.
My hair was long and tangled after coming out of the
bun I’d placed it in last night. There was chocolate on my
face, I didn’t know why. The strap of my bra was drooping
off my shoulder, the material straining to support my milk-
filled breasts. And the waistband of my shorts was rolled up
just below where my stomach swelled forward. The skin
was tight and smooth. I ran a hand over the humongous
bump and found another cheerio stuck there. I popped it
into my mouth before saying, “Twenty-seven never looked
this good.”
In record time, I cleansed my face and changed into a
flowy sundress because pants annoyed the fuck out of me
with this bump the size of Jupiter. I slipped my feet into
flats and grabbed my phone, dialling the familiar number.
When he answered, he was already chuckling.
I overcame the urge to scream when he said, “I’m
assuming you only woke up now.”
“Beck, you absolute asshole. I hate you so fucking much,
you two-faced piece of shit,” I spluttered, studying the
room for my bag. I needed to leave right now because I was
not in the mood to be teased for being late.
He snorted, and I could hear the sound of cars in the
backdrop. “I love you too, baby.”
I screeched into my hand and he laughed, enjoying my
frustration all too much. “Shut up. Where are you?”
Grabbing a brush, I put Beckham on speaker and quickly
tamed my hair. “I was relying on you to wake me up.”
He discoursed as I quickly made up the bed, disposing of
the stray cereal into the bin. “I told you I had to drop my
paperwork at the lab first thing in the morning.”
He didn’t take offence at me not remembering. He knew
all too well what pregnancy did to my brain. The other day
I’d been sobbing because I couldn’t find my shoes only for
him to point out that I was already wearing them.
“And I decided to save your grandma the effort, so I
headed into town to pick up the cake. I’m on my way to her
place right now. Think you can make it there in under five
hours?”
 I shook my head, snatching my bag and leaving the
room. “I hate you so much.”
Surprising almost everyone, Beckham hadn’t wanted to
get drafted into the NHL. During his fourth year of college
and my third, he’d discovered that he enjoyed astrophysics
and wanted to do it as more than just a hobby, he wanted
more than that. He’d done his masters in astrophysics the
following year whilst I’d obtained my bachelor’s in sports
management. It had taken him one year to complete his
master's because he’d graduated with honours like the
asshole he was.
The idiot was currently in his second to last year of
studying to get his PhD. A lot of it revolved around him
working as a research assistant at a private lab. The little
nerd that he was. It hadn’t taken me long to get picked up
and I could boastfully say that I was the PR manager of the
Westport Warriors, a local team that had finally gotten
drafted this year after years of hard work. Too bad my
assistant had to fill in for me now that I was nearing the
end of my pregnancy.
“Your grandma just texted,” Beckham announced as I
wobbled down the stairs and climbed over the toddler
gates installed there. “I’ve gotta make a quick stop to pick
up the balloons. I bet you I’ll still reach the house before
you,” he snickered.
I scowled, leaving the house and locking the door. “Jokes
on you, asshole, I’m already on my way to the car.” He was
silent as I hopped into the driver’s seat.
“Nyx,” he began in a slow tone, and I frowned, clipping
in my seatbelt. “You know I love you, flaws and all. We both
know that pregnancy does things to you,” like make me
extra horny or scream at the mirror at two in the morning,
“so I don’t want you to feel guilty, okay?” It sounded like he
was trying not to laugh, and I scowled. When he articulated
again, my heart nearly fell out of my ass. “Baby,” he
chuckled, “we have a child.”
 “Oh my God!” I screamed, hanging up on Beckham’s
laughter and unclipping my seatbelt. I nearly fell out of my
car in a hurry and dashed to the front door, unlocking it.
Heart in my throat, I climbed the stairs, manoeuvring
through the hallways before halting in front of a white door.
Shifting through, I scanned the area before my eyes settled
on a white crib. Inside sat a toddler, no older than three,
staring at me.
“Jesus, how could Mommy forget you, Percy?”
He raised his arms. “Silly mommy.”
I nodded, picking him up. “Silly mommy, indeed.” I
pressed kisses to his dark hair, unable to believe that I’d
nearly forgotten my fucking son. Beckham wouldn’t let me
live this down, he wouldn’t. I’d be hearing about this for
years to come. Shaking, I quickly dressed him as he asked
me random questions. His favourite recently was to point at
objects and ask what it was, followed by why.
Picking up his bag with extra clothes, I left the house,
Percy clinging to me and kissing my cheek. I’d been twenty-
four when I’d had him, two years after I’d graduated. We’d
gotten a good lecture about having a baby out of wedlock
from my grandma, but Helen had just been ecstatic to have
a grandbaby.
Soon after Percy’s birth, Beckham and I got hitched in
Vegas. We would be hearing about that today too, how
everyone was robbed of a big wedding. But we could still
have a proper ceremony, preferably after I popped out my
beach ball daughter and Beckham graduated.
Percy asked if he could click in the strap of his car seat
and I let him, kissing his head before I climbed into the car.
Almost paranoid, I peeped into the rear-view mirror to
make sure Percy was sitting there.
With a sigh, I started the car and drove to my grandma’s
house, barely a fifteen-minute drive. The entire way, Percy
sang a song from an infomercial. It was a thing of his.
Beckham knew I hated the annoying infomercial songs, so
whenever Percy was fussy, he placed him by the TV and
played fucking infomercials.
I parked the car and then hopped out, moving to fetch
Percy. “What’s that?” he pointed at the sky.
“Daddy’s girlfriend,” I countered, seating him on my
bump so I could grab both our bags. It was a joke between
us because Beckham spent a lot of his time staring at the
sky through a telescope that the entire family had taken to
saying he’d become one with it.
Percy coiled his arms around my neck, blue eyes gazing
up. “Her name’s Sky, right?” I loved that baby voice of his
and hearing how well he was learning to talk. It made me
want to squeeze his little face. “Why does daddy only think
she’s pretty when it’s dark outside?”
“Because otherwise, he can’t see the stars, munchkin.”
Without knocking, I opened the door and was met with a lot
of balloons. It made me wonder why Beckham had to pick
up even more. I dropped my bags on the counter and then
shuffled through to the kitchen, spotting a short figure
trying to lick the frosting from a cupcake. “Are you
supposed to be doing that?”
Indigo spun around in all her teenage glory. The second
she’d hit thirteen, we all had to respect her decisions and
accept her as a grown woman; so she’d said. Her brown
eyes flared with annoyance.
“I just want a cupcake.”
“What’s that?” Percy asked, pointing at his little aunt.
“A brat,” I responded with a smile, and Indigo couldn’t
help but laugh, forgetting her previous annoyance.
“Where’s Rue and Jade?” I urged, referring to her and
Annie’s half-sisters. Each year that passed, their
resemblance astounded me. Rue was Indigo’s age, whereas
Jade was a year younger.
She stepped closer and held out her arms for Percy, who
beamed, practically vaulting into her arms. “They’re
coming over later.”
 Without another word, she tottered into the living room,
where she had a stack of toys for Percy. I let her go,
nervous to tell her I’d discovered yesterday that Percy was
entering a throwing phase. It wouldn’t be long till Indigo
got a plastic truck to the eye.
I spotted a note on the fridge, one written by my
grandma. It said she was going to pick up Fiona, but she’d
be back soon. And then out of nowhere, I had to pee. This
fucking pregnancy bladder, I swear. Cursing underneath my
breath, I wobbled to the guest bathroom and then wished
I’d knocked. Squatting by the shower and inserting a
tampon was Poppy. For somebody that hated tampons, she
always used them.
“Oh Jesus, I didn’t need to see that,” I protested, moving
around her to sit down on the toilet.
“Do you mind?” Poppy questioned as she stood, slowly
tugging up her underwear.
“I just watched a tampon disappear inside you. I’m sure
you can handle seeing my vagina,” I returned, finished
peeing and cleaning up. “Happy birthday, you bitch. How
does it feel to be twenty-one?”
“Like my sister’s boobs are currently leaking,” Poppy
shot back with a laugh as she washed her hands and I
looked down to see two identical wet spots on my boobs.
“Glad to see you made it on time.”
“Shut up,” I grumbled, washing my hands and leaving
the toilet. I rounded the corner just in time to see Beckham
place a cake on the table. He saw me and my lower lip
trembled. “My boobs are leaking again,” I whined.
He quite obviously contained a laugh and pulled me into
his arms. “Oh no, my poor baby.”
“My boobs hurt, I pee out of nowhere and I can’t see my
feet,” I persevered, pressing my face into his chest. “You
did this to me, you asshole.” Probably deciding it was best
not to tease me further, he led me to the living room where
I could rest.
 Percy looked up and pointed at his dad, more specifically
the nametag around his neck. “What’s that?”
Indigo answered, “An idiot.”
Beckham glowered at her but she tossed him an
innocent smile. Seven years and the two were still at each
other’s throats whilst simultaneously being best friends. I
felt emotional all of a sudden because seven years had
passed. I blamed it on the pregnancy hormones.
Poppy just turned twenty-one, and I thought back to that
little girl that had followed me around and slept with a
nightlight. She’d evolved so much in the past few years
whilst simultaneously staying the same. Her eyes never lost
their brightness, thankfully.
Indigo was literally the same, still a little bitch, and I
loved her. My grandma had been getting some complaints
about her at school because she was always starting
arguments. But I knew it was just because she enjoyed
arguing. I reminded myself to tell my grandma to sign her
up for debate. Oh, who was I kidding? I was going to forget
that reminder in the next five seconds.
Annie was living her best life and currently with Beth—
her wife—trekking through some jungle with zero fucking
cell service. I missed them so much, but they’d promised to
be back soon so they could meet the new baby.
I was looking forward to having this baby, not only
because I’d get to meet our kid, but it was an occasion that
would bring everyone together. I’d get to see my busy boys
again. Sebastian and Grayson were a constant in my life,
and everyone usually hung out on the weekends. They’d
meet up to play hockey, just like old times.
And I was pretty sure something was going on between
Benson and my grandma, but I didn’t want to think of it for
fear of throwing up a lung.
The day passed in a blur. Georgia had shown up
alongside Julie and the girl’s boyfriend; Marcus. The latter
had gotten over when I’d first met him, back when they’d
been in middle school. Poor guy had been so scared of me
for the longest time. Julie found it hilarious.
Poppy nearly died when she saw the Mercedes we’d all
pooled in to get her. So much gratitude. The tears spilt
down her face and I knew what she was thinking, because
it constantly ran through my own mind.
Was this really my life? Did I really make it this far? It
was difficult to believe that we’d managed to crawl out of
that dark hole we’d been trapped in.
Once the sky dimmed, my grandma led everyone into
the backyard for some hot chocolate. Fiona, Rue and Jade
were there too. Beckham laid out a blanket for me where I
could recline and he sat down with Percy between his legs.
The tiny boy pointed up at the dark sky. “Look, Daddy’s
girlfriend is back—”
“Daddy’s wife,” Beckham corrected with a snort. “And
what’s her name?”
Percy thought for a moment before he answered, “Nyx.
Her name’s Nyx.” His eyes studied the vast space in
reverence. “And what’s that?”
Beckham grinned, running a hand over his son’s fluffy
hair. “Those are stars, buddy. Nyx protects and loves all of
them,. Daddy’s one of the stars because she loves him.”
I rolled my eyes and he leaned over to kiss my cheek.
Years later and I still couldn’t believe his middle name was
Rigel; named after one of the brightest stars in the sky.
The law of attraction really hadn’t come to play with us.
Indigo pushed to her feet, pointing at the sky. “What’s
happening?”
Beckham had been telling everyone for months that
something marvellous would be happening on Poppy’s
birthday, just when the sky would begin to darken.
Suddenly, everything lit up. I watched as hundreds of
falling stars shot across the shadowy space. They burned
brilliantly and I could feel everyone’s wonder. The stars
passed through with a tail like the stroke of an artist’s
brush.
It was an astonishing performance as they whirled
across the night sky. I turned my head slightly to see
Marcus place a kiss on Julie’s lips, the light of the stars
gleaming onto them.
“Explain, Mr Scientist,” Indigo said, poking Beckham’s
arms before sitting down next to him.
Beckham smirked. “It’s the Perseid meteor shower,
happens annually. We see the Perseids each year when
Earth crosses their orbit.”
Fiona nodded with a look of curiosity. Everyone turned
to gawk at the shower, looking like it would never end.
After a while, my grandma, Fiona and Georgia disappeared
into the kitchen for some cake. Poppy decided to take Julie,
Marcus and the girls for a late-night drive, leaving just my
little family in the backyard.
“Daddy, what’s that?” Percy inquired, looking at the
shooting stars.
I smiled, poking Percy’s cheeks as Beckham went to
answer. “That’s the Perseid meteor shower,” he explained,
and the young boy definitely didn’t understand what a
meteor shower was. “It’s called the Perseids because they
hail from a constellation, which is one of Nyx’s babies.”
Percy frowned. “A constipation? What’s his name?”
Already knowing this story, I spoke, “Perseus. The
constellation’s name is Perseus.”
He clapped. “That’s me.” I nodded, kissing his chubby
cheeks. “I’m a constipation!” he yelled, making me coo. “If
Daddy’s star and Mommy’s night, what’s sister be?” he
asked, his words a slight disorder.
Beckham looked over at me and raised a brow.
“Probably also a constellation.”
Percy pushed his hair out of his eyes. “Can I pick?” We
nodded and he pointed to the sky again. “Daddy, which
constipation is that?”
 It didn’t take long for the answer to come together. He
gave me that boyish smile that I’d fallen in love with so
many years ago, his grey eyes twinkling like the very stars
above.
“That’s Cassiopeia.”
I let out a gasp when Percy threw himself onto my lap,
short arms trying to wrap around my stomach. He kissed
the bump. “We’re gonna be the best constipations, Cassie.”
My eyes watered and I swore softly, hating that my
emotions were all over the place. Percy continued speaking
to his sister, pointing at different spots in the sky to explain
constipations.
Beckham glanced over at me and winked. “I love you,
Tink.”
“I love you,” I murmured in return, trying not to cry.
That was futile because him calling me Tinkerbell reminded
me of the first time I’d explained to him why I’d nicknamed
him Annika. He’d insisted that we watched Barbie and the
Magic of Pegasus. That led to weekly Barbie movie nights
with my sisters.
Percy gasped, pulling me from my memories. “Ew,
Mommy. Are you peeing again?”
My brows furrowed in annoyance at my bladder and I
raised the skirt of my dress.
But it wasn’t pee.
I looked at Beckham and he stared at me in amazement.
He kissed Percy’s head. “Well, buddy, looks like we’re
meeting Cassie soon.”

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 AUTHOR’S NOTE

Thank you so much for reading this story. Nyx and

Beckham—sigh—they hold such a special place in my heart.
I can’t even begin to explain how much I love them, and I
hope you do too. I was eighteen when I first penned their
characters and now that I’m about to turn twenty, I can’t
help but look back and marvel at how much my characters
have grown—not only my characters but my writing as
well.
As always, there remains tons of space for improvement
and I’m beyond excited to grow even more as a writer. And
as far as debut novels go, I’m proud of this little baby. It
may not be everybody’s cup of tea—hell, sometimes my
self-conscious ass even hates my own writing—but I’m
proud, nonetheless. I’ll remain proud, no matter where my
writing journey takes me.
This isn’t the last you’ll be seeing of Nyx and Beckham
as Law of Attraction is merely the first book in a series of
standalones. My next book revolves around our favourite
blonde angel and the gorgeous little troublemaker that
never fails to exasperate him. Stay tuned for Nailea and
Sebastian’s grumpy x sunshine story: Law of Polarity.
If you loved this book, please consider leaving a review!
If you want to talk to me or merely stay updated, then
follow me on my Instagram: raeesahauthor
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 ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

I never would’ve thought this day would come; me being an

actual published author. I started writing at the age of
eight, although my work mainly consisted of cringey poems
back then. This journey wasn’t one taken alone, and I’m so
grateful for those that have stuck by my side and
encouraged me to follow my dreams.
Firstly, a huge thanks must go to my readers. I started
out with nothing on Wattpad and as the years went on, my
readership grew. If it weren’t for my supporting readers, I
never would’ve taken the leap and published. Knowing that
they wanted my book is what pushed me. If you’ve read my
book, I’m forever grateful. I love you guys.
To my parents. Thank you for always believing in me and
my dreams. Thank you to my dad for remaining an
unwavering system of support, no matter what. Anything I
needed, you were there, ready to put everything on hold to
help me. Thank you to my mommy for laying down the
sturdy foundation for my dreams. Every whisper of
strength and motivation allowed me to reach places you
never had the opportunity to. I love you both—even though
you always get annoyed with me because I talk too much.
To Raaiqah, my favourite (and only) sister. Thank you for
not murdering me in my sleep after I spend hours telling
you about a new idea. You’re the funniest person I know
and my number one fan. By the way, thank you for putting
together the best playlist for this book. If anybody knows
Nyx and Beckham as well as I do; it’s you. I love you
(without spaces in between).
 To Diya. Words cannot express my love and appreciation
for you. You’ve been a reader since the very beginning and
since then, you’ve become a friend. I hope to have you by
my side the rest of this journey.
And finally, to Ammaarah Adams. My best friend. Thank
you for everything. Thank you for hyping me up all the
time, for giving me confidence. I believe the universe gave
me you after comprehending that I needed a friend equally
as annoying as me. Years ago, when I was fourteen and
your old ass was fifteen, I remember telling you that the
jersey you were wearing was ugly. That must’ve been the
first words I’d ever spoken to you, and right there, the law
of attraction began working its magic.

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 ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Raeesah, more commonly known as Rae—as lovingly referred to by her readers

—is a young author who always dreamed of one day becoming published. Her
favourite genres are romance and fantasy. She hopes to finally pen the fantasy
book she’s been brainstorming for years. For now, she has romance ideas
galore. When she isn’t writing, she’s reading one of the many books on her tbr.

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