Official Correspondence in

English
Lakshuman Khanal
Undersecretary, MoFA

Lakshuman Khanal,
Under Secretary, MoFA

1
Session One

2
 Why official Communication?

 To deliver the intended message

 To get things done
 To state one’s position
 To disseminate information
 To express one’s emotions
 To maintain goodwill and relationships
 To win support
 To record as evidence
 To maintain record

3
Types of communication

Communication

Verbal Non-verbal Written

Speeches, Gesture, Posture, Correspondence,

Conversations, facial expressions Press Release
Dialogues STP, RoT, Messages,

4
 Writing for office

Official Pre-Event Post Event

Communication Documents Documents

First Person Position Press

Letter Paper/ Briefs Release

Official Aide Record of

Letter memoire Talks

Suggested
Emails Talking Reports
Points

5
 Writing for office…

 Formal letters
 Email correspondence
 Internal documents
 Information for public consumption
 Use of social media (Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp)
 Regular publications

6
Writing for office…

Official
Correspondence

Letter of
Condolences Messages
Formal
Letters

Letter of
Thanks Invitation

7
 The Writing Process

 A good writer is also a good reader.

 Enough/as much information on the topic.
 Sketching an order of content.
 Drafting the first version (zero draft)
 Editing and re-editing brutally. (It is perfectly ok to write
garbage – as long as you edit brilliantly)
 Getting opinions of colleagues/supervisors.
 Proofreading and fact-checking. (Use of ICT)
 Giving a reader’s view.

8
3 Golden Rules of Drafting

Brainstorming
Revising/Editing
and outlining
(Rewriting)
(Pre-Writing)

Drafting (writing)

9
Think before you speak
&
Plan before you write

10
Basics of official writing
Purpose

Form Writing Content

Language

11
 Purpose

 Understand your message

 Frame your situation objectively
 Break it into pieces
 State in most direct but courteous way
 Call to action-essence of official communication
 Knowing the recipient/audience

12
 Content

• Gather as much information on the topic

• Go through official files/records
• Search literature/information from other sources when
necessary (including internet)
• Consult with relevant (past) officials
• Understand the context
• Figure out the stakeholders’ perspectives
• Look for relevant legal instruments
• Consult supervisors

13
 Language

• Vocabulary
• Grammar
• Syntax
• Sentence structures
• Consistency
• Appropriateness
• Stylistic

14
 Language:
keep it short and simple= KISS

• Formality of language
• Short and simple sentences
• Variety of structure
• Use of linking words
• Absence of redundancy (Always avoid
unnecessary words in a sentence and avoid unnecessary
sentences in a paragraph)
• Diplomatic touch
15
Short and simple sentences (a case)
 First Draft
According to the research found in business-related
literature, many companies and firms cite cost savings and
reducing spending as their most important goals in
preparation for a more economically viable future.
Company executives and managers demand their
employees cut back on excessive spending and waste so
that the company can become more competitive in the
world of business.
 Revised Draft
According to the literature, many companies cite cost
savings as their primary goal. Employees are urged to
reduce waste so companies can increase competitiveness.

16
Examples of redundant phrases

 “small in size” or “large in size”

 “true facts”
 “basic fundamentals”
 “past history”
 “smiled happily”
 “evolve over time”
 “consensus of opinion”

17
 Diplomatic Touch
 1) Use of modal verbs (could, would, may)
 Could we infer that your office is interested in hosting the
event?
 2) Use of passive voice (to avoid blame/responsiblity)
 The MoU was signed two years ago to facilitate cultural
exchanges.
 3) Choice of positive expressions
 Although last year’s project was not a success (for although
last year’s project was a failure)
 4) Rephrasing
 We are consulting relevant stakeholders and hope to reach a
conclusion soon (instead of we don’t know how long it will
take)
 5) Using minimizers (slight, small, a few, a little)
 There has been a slight delay in the communication.
18
Form: OBC of writing

Opening (draw the attention of

the reader)

Body (justify your point)

Closing (maintain relation with the

reader)

19
 Gandhi’s Letter to Hitler


23 July 1939
 Dear friend,
Friends have been urging me to write to you for the sake of humanity. But I
have resisted their request, because of the feeling that any letter from me would be
an impertinence. Something tells me that I must not calculate and that I must make
my appeal for whatever it may be worth.
It is quite clear that you are today the one person in the world who can
prevent a war which may reduce humanity to the savage state. Must you pay the price
for an object however worthy it may appear to you to be? Will you listen to the appeal
of one who has deliberately shunned the method of war not without considerable
success? Any way I anticipate your forgiveness, if I have erred in writing to you.

Herr Hitler I remain,
Berlin Your sincere friend
Germany (signed)


20
Form: Organization of the text

Chronological

Problem/Solution

Order of importance

Space management

Neat paragraphing
21
 Design and Lay out (a case)
2 January 2018

Dear Ms. Steiner,

I thank you for your letter dated 20 December 2017 covering your brief stay in Kathmandu and indicating future
engagements and cooperation.

I take this opportunity to offer my sincere and cordial greetings for a happy, prosperous and fruitful New Year 2018. I
hope you have had memorable festive season after your brief visit to Kathmandu last month.

It was my honour and privilege to welcome you as the first South African State Secretary visiting Nepal. I
must thank you for availing your otherwise hectic schedule to visit Kathmandu on the eve of the historical elections
for the federal and provincial parliaments.
I am confident that the mutual discussions we had during our meeting on 6 December 2017 will give impetus to taking
forward our existing bilateral relations towards deeper level of cooperation and higher level of engagements. Our
frank discussions on multilateral issues of mutual concern also reflect more avenues of cooperation at the multilateral
front.

Please accept, Your Excellency, the assurances of my highest consideration.

(signed)
Shankar D. Bairagi

H.E. Ms. Elisabeth Steiner

State Secretary
Ministry of Foreign Affairs
South Africa

22
4 in 1: The Final Product

23
Read and study in general
Study files/ records
Focus on the message
Appropriate language
Editing and Revising
Consultation/approval of the superviser
Last moment proofreading
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Session Two

25
 Types of Correspondence

 Notes
 Letters
 Messages
 Press Release
 Email
 Others (Minutes, aid-memoire, non-paper, STPs,
Briefs, RoTs etc.)
 Social Media (Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp)

26
Parts of a letter

27
 Third Person Note
• Regular channel of diplomatic correspondence- most
widely used
• Contains only third person pronouns - he, she, it, they,
them
• Has formulaic opening and closing
• Is printed in letterhead, initialed and stamped over
the initial
• Title -‘Note Verbale’ may carry; usually no title
• Place of issue and date on the bottom right
• Addressee: bottom left
• Enclosure: if any
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 Third Person Note- NV

1) Beginning:
The Ministry of … presents its compliments to the
Embassy of …and has the honour to … that
2) Substance:
The main message
3) Closing:
The Ministry avails itself of this opportunity to renew to
the Embassy the assurances of its highest
consideration.
29
 Third person note: sample

No: Tr/2018/18

The Embassy of the Federal Republic of Barios presents its compliments to the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, Government of
Nepal, has the honor to request for the nomination of three participants for a Regional Workshop on “LLDCs and Law of the
Sea: The Way Ahead” organized by Barios Institute of Law in Pakiza, Barios from 09 to 13 July 2011.

The nominated participants are requested to prepare a country paper on the problems of landlockedness and ways of
overcoming them.

The selected participants will be offered two way tickets, accomodation and a subsistence allowance. The nomination of
appropriate candidates should reached the Barios Institute of Law by June 22, 2001 by email. Kindly find enclosed a
nomination form for each candidates.

The Embassy of the Federal Republic of Barios avails itself of this opportunity to renew to the Ministry of Foreign Affairs,
Government of Nepal, the assurance of its highest consideration.

Kathmandu, 10 January 2011

(stamp, initial signature)
Ministry of Foreign Affairs
Kathmandu

Encl: Nomination form

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 Letters: First Person
Written by head of the offices/Ministries, head of the states or
heads of the governments to their counterpart on various
occasions including:
• Highlighting the concern/issue at the highest level
• Extending invitation
• Conveying messages
• Conveying congratulations
• Expressing condolences etc.

31
 First Person Letter
 Beginning- letter head, date, salutations
 Body- substance/message
 Closing- Formulaic closing, Name and signature of the
sender and details of addressee
• Salutation may vary- depending upon context of
communication and degree of closeness
• Your Excellency, Excellency (US) Sir, Dear Sir, Dear Mr. (Full
Name) My Dear …(British) followed by “I have the
honour…” and ends with closing phrase “I avail myself of
the opportunity to assure Your Excellency of my highest
consideration.
• Name and signature of the sender on the bottom right and
details of the addressee on the bottom left of the paper
• No stamping is required (usually for HoS/HoG/FM).

32
Meeting Request- First Person Letter
27 February 2018
Dear Mr. ……

I take this opportunity to inform you that I have recently assumed my office as Immigration Chief of
Rasuwagadhi Border Point. I am pleased to learn that our two sides have been enjoying excellent
working relations thereby making business of this border point smooth and effective.

The exchange of meeting that have been taking place between our two offices have contributed
such efficient operations on both the sides. Such meetings have provided us with the opportunity
to share our views on varieties of issues especially of recent issues of challenges we face in course
of discharging our duties.

In this context, I would like extend an invitation to you for a bilateral official meeting on 4 March
2018.
I look forward to welcoming you and your delegation.
Yours sincerely
Mr. ….
Immigration Chief
Rasuwagadhi Immigration Office
People’s Republic of China

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First Person- Invitation for meeting
12 June 2017
Excellency,

It is my pleasure to inform you that the Government of Nepal is hosting the Third BIMSTEC Energy Ministers'
Meeting in Kathmandu on 9 August 2018.

BIMSTEC region is endowed with huge energy potentials such as hydropower/water, wind, bio-gas and solar
sources which, if harnessed properly and shared in the region, can be a propeller of development and means
of poverty reduction in the region. Since the second Meeting of BIMSTEC Energy Ministers held in Thailand
in 2010, considerable progress has been made in the energy sector.

We all agreed in our previous meeting to accelerate the efforts to develop a comprehensive plan for energy
cooperation with a view to augmenting interconnectivity and promoting regional energy trade.

In this connection, I have the honour to extend a cordial invitation to Your Excellency to participate in the
Third BIMSTEC Energy Ministers' Meeting in Kathmandu.

I am confident that in view of our excellent bilateral relations and our common commitment to regional
energy cooperation, you will attend this Meeting and contribute towards its meaningful outcome with your
invaluable experience and wisdom.

I look forward to welcoming Your Excellency in Kathmandu.

Please accept, Excellency, the assurances of my highest consideration.

(signed)
Kamal Thapa
H.E. ……….
Minister of Energy
34
Government of …
 Message

Formal way of expressing closeness in diverse occasions to:

 Congratulate
 Express condolences
 Felicitate
 Show close relations

Messages are usually first person letters by high officials to their counterparts.
Messages are meant to:

 Establish official relations

 Cultivate relationship
 Immense importance in diplomacy
 Convey direct/subtle meanings
 Demonstrate close association

35
 Congratulatory Message

• National day
• Election of new government
• Important national events- mega events, scientific
breakthrough, achievements
• Important political development- promulgation of
new constitution, success of people’s movement
• Birthday of HoS/G/FM to show personal care - Xi’s
message to President Bhandari

36
 Congratulatory Message- Election

January 05, 2018

Excellency,

On behalf of the Government and people of Nepal as well as on my own, I

would like to extend to Your Excellency my sincere congratulations and best
wishes on your assumption of the high office of the Chief Minister of the State
of Utter Pradesh India.

I am confident that the friendly relations so happily subsisting between our two
counties and states will be further strengthened during your Excellency’s
tenure.

Please accept, Excellency, the assurances of my highest consideration.

Shanker Pokharel
Her Excellency
Shri Yogi Aditya Nath
Chief Minister of Utter Pardesh 37
the Republic of India
Congratulatory Message- Appointment
DEPUTY PRIME MINISTER AND MINISTER FOR FOREIGN AFFAIRS

25 January 2017
Excellency

I am pleased to extend my warm congratulations on your appointment as the Minister of Foreign

Affairs of the Federal Republic of Barios.

I am confident that the cordial and friendly relations so happily existing between our two countries
will be further strengthened during the tenure of your office.

I look forward to working closely with you on issues of mutual concern at the international forums.

Please accept, Excellency, my best wishes for a successful tenure.

(signed)
SUJATA KOIRALA
H.E. Marino Dilano
Minister of Foreign Affairs
The Federal Republic of Barios
Pakiza

38
Session Three

39
 Condolences Message

 To express sorrow and sympathy usually on demise of

national figures, natural calamities and loss of human
lives and property by various reasons
 To show association in the effort of international
community against some acts such as terrorism,
extremism, aggression

40
Condolences Message - demise
The Prime Minister

Excellency,

I am saddened to learn of the untimely passing away of Mr. Pierre Werner,

former Prime Minister of the Federal Republic of Barios on 4 June 2017.

At this hour of tragedy, I wish to extend my heartfelt condolences and

sympathies to Your Excellency and through you to the bereaved family
members and the people and the government of Barios.

Please accept, Excellency, the assurances of my highest consideration.

Sher Bahadur Deuba

H.E. Mr. Xavier Strolton
Prime Minister of the Federal Republic of Barios
Pakiza

41
Condolences Message – natural calamity
The President

Excellency,

We are deeply saddened to learn of the heavy loss of lives and extensive damages
caused to properties as a result of massive floods in the western parts of the
Federal Republic of Barios in recent days.

In this hour of grief, on behalf of the Government and people of Nepal, I would like
to extend deepest condolences and sympathies to Your Excellency, and through
you to the government and the friendly people of the Federal Republic of Barios and
the bereaved families.

The people of Nepal join me in wishing an early recovery from the flood situation
and resumption of normal life in the flood affected areas.

Please accept, Excellency, the assurances of my highest consideration.

• Ram Baran Yadav

H. E. Ms. Pascale Sheron
President of the Federal Republic of Barios
42
Pakiza, Barios
 Briefs: Sample
 Nepal-Serbia Relations

Bilateral Relations
 Nepal and Serbia (former Yugoslavia) established diplomatic relations on 7 October 1959. Both Nepal and Serbia are
landlocked developing countries. The relations between the two countries have always remained close and cordial
ever since. The Ambassador of Nepal in Germany is concurrently accredited to Serbia and Serbian Ambassador in New
Delhi, India is concurrently accredited to Nepal.

Exchange of Visits
 Minister of Foreign Affairs of Serbia Mr. Vuc Jeremic visited Nepal in October 2011. High level officials of the two
countries frequently meet at the sidelines of the UN and other international forums.

Development Cooperation
Trade/Investment
 Nepal and Serbia have concluded the following three agreements:

 Trade Agreement signed on 05 September 1965
 Agreement on Agricultural and Technical Cooperation signed on 05 September 1965, and
 Agreement on Cooperation in Science and Technology singed on 14 September 1975

 The trade between Nepal and Serbia is at the nascent phase. In 2012, the value of trade amounted to US$ 38,000
(Nepal exported US$ 37,000 worth of goods to Serbia and imported US$ 1,000 worth of goods). The disaggregated
data of the trade between the two countries after that is not available.

Scholarships

 Serbia has been providing scholarships to Nepalese students for higher studies under "The World in Serbia" program.
The program is devised for the students from Member and Observer States of the Non-Aligned Movement.

Europe-America Division
Ministry of Foreign Affairs 43
November 2017
Suggested Talking Points (STPs)

 A brief prepared for higher authority for any meeting

 Current status of the issue is briefly reflected.
 Suggestion is made on the issues to be discussed or
taken upon during the discussion/meeting.
 Agenda-wise or issue-wise presentation of
information and suggestion
 Relevant concrete details/information can be included
for reference.

44
 Suggested Talking Points for
Prime Minister Rt. Hon. Mr. K.P. Sharma Oli
During the Courtesy Call on by the
Deputy Mayor of Pakiza, Hon. Mr. Luis Carlos Cueto and his delegation
Tuesday, 27 February, Kathmandu

Rt. Hon. Prime Minister may wish to:

•
• Welcome the Deputy Mayor and his delegation to Nepal and to his office.
•
Bilateral Relations
•
• Express satisfaction over the cordial and friendly relations so happily existing between Nepal and Barios ever since the
establishment of diplomatic relations in 1968.
•
• State that the five decade long relationship between the two countries are based on mutual respect, understanding and
cooperation.
•
• Recall the State visits from both the countries in the past and express that there is need to continue high level visits in the years
ahead as well.
•
• Express happiness that Nepal has established its residential Embassy in Pakiza. Express confidence that Barios will consider
establishing its residential Embassy in Kathmandu.
•
• Appreciate the current visit of the Deputy Mayor to Nepal. State that such visits will further consolidate the existing relations.
•
Development Cooperation

 Appreciate the role of Barios in supporting Nepal's efforts towards socio-economic development by extending economic
cooperation.

 Point to the need of an enhanced level of investment, trade and tourism exchange between the two countries. (The two way
trade volume between the two countries is around Rs 1 billion whereas
45 around 15,000 tourists from Barios visited Nepal before the
earthquakes)
 Continued………….
Sister-City Relationship between Kathmandu and Pakiza

 Express happiness over the signing of the MoU between Kathmandu and Pakiza cities to establish sister city
relationship. Express confidence that the MoU will open avenues for deeper relationship between the two countries
at municipal and people-to-people levels.

 Express confidence that the two capital cities will enhance cooperation and deepen collaboration in the areas of
mutual interest, including in waste management, water management, heritage protection and promotion, cultural
exchanges, knowledge sharing, capacity development among others.

Current Political Situation and the Priorities of the Government

 Refer to the recent formation of new government after the historic and successful local, provincial and federal
elections held in 2017. The elections were a milestone on Nepal’s journey to an inclusive federal democratic republic
system.

 State that the successful conclusion of the elections and the subsequent formation of new government have now
paved way for more focused pursuit of economic development. This will also be instrumental in institutionalizing
federalism at the grassroots level.

 State that since there is so much of good-will and support from the international community to Nepal, it is our earnest
expectation that friendly countries like Spain will continue and enhance their valuable support and cooperation to
Nepal's economic aspirations so that the historical and forward-looking political achievements are sustained over the
long course.


24 February 2018
Africa Division
Ministry of Foreign Affairs

46
 Record of Talks (RoTs)

 It is official record keeping of the discussions held

between the participants of a bilateral meeting.
 The main issues of discussion and points of
agreement, if any, are included in the record.
 The perspectives expressed by both the sides are also
recorded.
 This is for internal consumption of an office, hence,
sensitive/classified information, if any, is also
recorded.
 The RoTs are shared with relevant
agencies/authorities.

47
 Press Release

• It is usually issued on the occasion such as visit,

meeting, any incident, reaction to some events.
• A way of disseminating information to the wider
public on important matters.
• It is sometimes a means to state official position
towards an issue.
• It is a way of showcasing an institution’s
performance.
• It may carry a specific title or just ‘Press Release’
• Issued on official letterhead and stamped.

48
 Press Release
Press Release

The Prime Minister of the Islamic Republic of Pakistan His Excellency Mr.
Shahid Khaqan Abbasi is paying an official visit to Nepal from 5 to 6 March
2018.

During the visit, the Prime Minister of Pakistan will call on The Rt. Hon. Bidya
Devi Bhandari, President of Nepal.

The Rt. Hon. Prime Minister Mr. K. P. Sharma Oli will hold bilateral meeting
with the visiting Prime Minister of Pakistan and exchange views on matters
of mutual interest. He will also host a dinner in honour of the visiting
dignitary.

Upon completion of the visit, the Prime Minister of Pakistan will leave for
Islamabad on 6 March 2018.

Ministry of Foreign Affairs

Government of Nepal
04 March 2018
49
 E-Mails
• Modern and widely used means of official
correspondence
• Easy, instant and efficient mode of communication
• Subject: clear and short
• Message:
• Salutation-less formal but need to maintain
appropriate courtesy
• Body- to the point with expected action
• Closing and signature essential

50
 Sample Email
Dear Sirs,

An official of Barios Embassy came for meeting this morning. Main matter was that a
delegation from Barios wants to visit Nepal on Feb 15-20 to 'discuss about Export 2025'
(note attached).

The delegation will be led by a deputy minister (they will send more info shortly) and will
want to call on Hon. Foreign Minister/Foreign Secretary.

I informed them about the impending process of new government formation. On learning
this, the Azerbaijan official said his deputy minister's delegation will be happy to conduct
the entire discussion with the Foreign Secretary.

Early response on the visit request will be appreciated.

Regards,

ABC
(Designation)
(Office)

51
 Sample Email...... continued
Dear Sir,

I am writing with regard to the recent exchange of communications between the Embassy of Barios and the Embassy of
Nepal in New Delhi concerning the visit of a delegation from the Secretariat of the First Vice-President of Barios to
Kathmandu.

I wish to express my gratitude for your prompt positive response on the readiness of H.E. Foreign Secretary of the
Nepalese MFA to receive the Bariose delegation on 20 February at 11 am. In light of unforeseen circumstances, which
require our presence in Pakiza on that date, we would like to seek your indulgence and request to reschedule the meeting
for either Friday 23 February or Tuesday 27 February at any time.

As was mentioned before, the composition of the Bariose delegation will be as follows:

- H.E. Mr. Tariq Azabev– Deputy Chief of the Secretariat of the First Vice-President of Barios (ministerial status),
- Mr. Nechin Suneli- Senior Adviser in the Secretariat of the First Vice-President of the Republic of Barios.

I do apologize for any inconvenience that this request may cause to you. At the same time, we are looking forward to
having a meaningful meeting and dialogue with the leadership of the Nepalese MFA.

Sincerely,

Nechin Suneli (Mr.)

Senior Adviser
Secretariat of the First Vice-President of the Republic of Barios
Administration of the President of the Republic of Barios

52
 Social Media: Twitter
Extremely shocked by unfortunate crash of US_ Bangla Aircraft carrying 67 passengers
and 4 crew members. Express deep sorrow on loss of lives and condole to bereaved
families and also wish for early recovery of injured persons. Govt will investigate the
incident immediately (The Rt. Hon. Mr. K. P. Sharma Oli)

Deeply anguished by the loss of lives due to the plane crash in Kathmandu. My thoughts
are with the families of the deceased and I pray that those injured recover at the earliest.
(Prime Minister of India)

EAM @SushmaSwaraj spoke to #BangladeshForeignMinister & expressed deepest

condolences & sympathies for the loss of lives in the crash of #USBangla Airlines in
#Kathmandu today. EAM offered any assistance required in Kathmandu, and shared
thoughts and prayers for those injured. (Spokesperson of MEA India)

Shocked by the crash of US Bangla Airline's passenger plane in Kathmandu today. Deep
condolences and sympathies to those killed and wish for speedy recovery of the injured.
(MoFA Nepal)

53
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