Writing Concisely / Writing Plainly / Plain English

Exercise 1
Replace the following with a single word.
 A large number of
 Despite the fact that
 Personal opinion
 Each and every
 Has the opportunity to
 End result
 At this point in time
 Compare and contrast
 At an early time
 In a case in which

Exercise 2
Circle the unnecessary words in the following sentences.
1. The creditor must first establish that the debtor is undoubtedly bankrupt.
2. Our main role is to raise money by way of donations in order to fund the works of these charities.
3. Professor Smith was picked by each and every person on the committee.
4. As a matter of fact, Pleasantville has a strong position in the forestry industry.
5. The student needs to obtain high marks in science in order to study medicine.
6. The manager will, insofar as is possible, make sure that the information is true and accurate.
7. We will send out brochures to the general public.
8. You must be willing to challenge yourself in order to get the most out of your education at
university.

Exercise 3
Make the following sentences more concise without removing any information.
1. We are working hard so the poor are given the basic essentials to lift themselves out of poverty. (to
give / need)
2. Students should make contact with us for help with their future plans prior to the start of semester.
(Before semester…)
3. It is apparent that the tragedy could have been avoided if the company had talked to workers
regarding hazards that existed in the workplace. (The tragedy / dangers)
4. The total population of the island is 12,046 with the future possibility of 5% growth by 2012. (two
sentences / go up)
5. A commerce graduate can leverage knowledge they have acquired in their coursework and apply it
to the real world. (apply / their work)

Exercise 4
Make the following paragraphs more concise without removing any information.
1. As of 4 August, students will be selected using processes which have been created in accordance
with legal requirements. These processes will be used along with our diversity strategy and all of its
relevant policies about student selection. ( active / meet / join sentences / take out ‘relevant’)
2. The Passport Office is replacing free of charge until the dates specified any current passport lost,
damaged or destroyed as a result of the recent floods. Eligible applicants should contact the

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 Passport Information Service (PIS) on 998 9988 for further information. (offer free / unnecessary
dates / you / us)

3. If an agency or organisation breaches the privacy principles , our office may investigate the matter.
Individuals can also make a privacy complaint to us about an agency or organisation if they think
their information has been mishandled. (change order / We… / join sentences / unnecessary)

4. Aid Agency works to bring immediate assistance to people whose lives have been devastated by
natural disasters and conflict. Through our work, we provide emergency relief in the initial stages of
the disaster, and we also provide continued support to affected communities as they rebuild and
rehabilitate towards a sustainable future. (help / affected by / unnecessary / when… occurs /
support as a verb)

Exercise 5
Which of the following are everyday words?
• administer • change • enough • procure • start
• aim • competency • main • reflect • subsequent

Exercise 6
Which of the following are uncommon words?
• acquire • before • mitigate • staff
• agree • constrain • name • administer
• approximately • methodology • search

Exercise 7
Find the uncommon words in these sentences:
1. Government in Australia is secular.
2. Young children can become entangled in curtain and blind cords.
3. The objective of the newsletters is to facilitate communication between the Local Diabetes Service
Development projects.
4. The Graduate School of Business offers a suite of business programs.
5. You need to demonstrate that you have knowledge equivalent to the subjects specified below.

Exercise 8
Rewrite the following sentences using everyday words:
1. In 2003, the Parliament made fundamental and extensive amendments to the Local Government
Act 1989.

2. An applicant whose English language skills are found to be below the necessary standard may be
required to undertake a remedial language course conducted in the University concurrently with
their undergraduate course, or may have their provisional offer withdrawn.

3. Commercial premises are permitted to participate in the kerbside collection service. For additional
bin requirements, the business is to liaise with a commercial contractor directly to organise.

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Exercise 9 - Structuring Information – Sentence Shortening
1. The human resources department will process your unemployment insurance application and let you
know within two weeks if you are successful.
2. Once you are hired you will require first aid training but be aware that the training will have to occur
before your first day of work.
3. Although the ministry requires you to apply for coverage before your contract is up, Form B can be
submitted anytime during the calendar year whether or not your contract is completed.

Exercise 10 - Structuring Information – Bullet Points

All individuals who work with children or vulnerable adults, or have unsupervised access to children or
vulnerable adults in the ordinary course of their employment, or in the practice of an occupation, or during
the course of an education program and who are employed by or licensed by, or receive regular ongoing
operating funds from the provincial government are covered under the Criminal Records Review Act.

Exercise 11 - Structuring Information – Toast

Toast is most commonly eaten with butter or margarine spread over it, and may be served with preserves,
spreads, or other toppings in addition to or instead of butter. You may need more slices because it is so
good. Later, simple devices were created to toast bread in the fire, such as wire frames to cook the toast
more evenly. Some sandwiches, such as the BLT, call for toast to be used rather than bread. The practice of
toasting bread became popular in the Roman Empire. Toast with jam or marmalade is popular. The word
“toast” actually comes from the Latin “tostum,” which means “to burn or scorch.” You will need a toaster
and a slice of bread. Toast is considered by many to be delicious! The first breads were likely toasted by
laying them in front of the fire on a hot stone. Toast is a common breakfast food.

Exercise 12 - Structuring Information – Chunking and Headings

In the United States, large globe artichokes 1 are frequently prepared by removing all but 5–10 mm of the
stem2. Sometimes they may have thorns which can interfere with eating. To remove thorns, around a
quarter of each scale3 can be cut off. To cook, the artichoke is boiled or steamed. A cooked, unseasoned
artichoke has a delicate flavour. While the outer stem is often tough and bitter, the core of the stem tastes
similar to the artichoke heart, and is edible. Salt may be added to the water if boiling artichokes. Covered
artichokes, in particular those that have been cut, can turn brown due to enzymatic browning and
chlorophyll oxidation. Placing them in water slightly acidified with vinegar or lemon juice can prevent the
discoloration. Leaves are often removed one at a time, and the fleshy base eaten with hollandaise, vinegar,
butter, mayonnaise, aioli, lemon juice, or other sauces. The fibrous upper part of each leaf is usually
discarded. The heart is eaten when the inedible choke 4 has been peeled away from the base and discarded.
The thin leaves covering the choke are also edible.

1
alcachofra
2
Caule/pedúnculo
3
folha
4
Inedible part of the artichoke

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Exercise 13 - Passive to Active:
1. Via Verde was invented by a Portuguese company.
2. It was decided by the court that the contract was unconstitutional.
3. Today’s blog was written by staff working on customer relations.
4. The effects of an opioid overdose can be reversed by Naloxone.
5. The shareholders of a company are served by its elected management.
6. The original repair was designed by the same registered professional.
7. One type of air pollution is caused by hydrocarbons emitted by factories.
8. Today in a speech to the Union of Municipalities, a new programme was announced by the
chairman.
9. The dividends of a strong and diversified economy and prudent fiscal management are delivered by
the country’s first balanced budget.
10. The tax applies even if the insurance was purchased by a non‐resident on your behalf.

Exercise 14 - Sentence Shortening

1. She is going to order supplies for the party. (Simplify and activate the verb)
2. She organized a meeting during which she consulted with the director. (Remove redundant and
unnecessary phrases)
3. The training gives you the opportunity to increase your skills and abilities in using CMS Lite. (Simplify
sentence form, remove wordy phrases)
4. I am interested in the topic about which you wrote. (Activate the verb, use a conversational tone)
5. There is no current estimate of the number of boxes of records in the possession of the school.
(Simplify sentence form, reduce prepositions)
6. A knowledge of correct web style is the duty of all of the writers of the content of this website. (Find
hidden verbs, activate the verb, reduce prepositions)
7. The politician responded to the allegations with vehemence. (Replace prepositional phrase with
adverb, simplify vocabulary)
8. She was disturbed by the violent images in the movie. (Use the possessive)
9. Their attempt to achieve a reduction in paperwork was unsuccessful. (Reveal the hidden verbs)
10. The best outcome for this scenario would be a change in policy. (Remove unnecessary wordy phrases)
11. It is imperative that you do not leave the waffle iron belonging to Tom unattended as it has a broken
fuse and it could catch fire. (Use contractions, use possessives, split long sentences)

Exercise 15 - Simplifying Text

Effective June 1, 2017, in response to client feedback, hiring managers are no longer required to submit
competition documentation to the BC Public Service Agency to confirm a hire.
Eliminating the requirement to submit competition documentation to complete a hire does not remove the
requirement for hiring managers to retain competition documentation. Hiring managers are still
responsible for documenting and retaining all competition files, as they currently do, for a minimum of two
years.

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Exercise 16 - Changing the person

In the texts below, replace the words that refer to the agency and the user with pronouns. Make no other
changes, except those needed for grammatical correctness.

Text 1

The applicant will be the primary source of information regarding his circumstances for the purposes of
determining eligibility and need. If the Secretary needs to secure information from other sources, the
Secretary will ask the applicant to authorize the release of information. The Secretary will inform the
applicant of the kinds of information needed and the source to be used.

Text 2

To establish eligibility for selection to receive a grant, an applicant must show that:

a) The applicant is an Indian;

b) The present housing of the applicant is substandard and inadequate in terms of capacity to meet
the physical needs of the family;
c) The applicant has been denied, or is ineligible for, housing assistance from other sources.
d) The economic resources of the applicant are inadequate or the applicant is ineligible to obtain
housing from other sources.

Exercise 17 - Shortening Sentences

Divide each of the texts below into shorter sentences. Don’t rewrite them extensively – put a full stop where
you need to and make one or two minor word changes.

Text 1

If you are a party to an appeal, and you want to supplement the record or any Statement of Facts and
Issues at any time after the Department deems the record complete under § 4.916 through the time
additional responsive pleadings are filed under § 4.940, you must file any additional material together with
a written request for permission to IBLA (or an Assistant Secretary who is deciding your appeal under §
4.933) to supplement the record or any Statement of Facts and Issues.

Text 2

Note: To divide the second text into two sentences, begin your first sentence with the words “You may” (or
something similar) and begin your second sentence with the words “If that document omits” (or something
similar).

If you submit a bond to the Regional Director executed on a form approved under paragraph (b) of this
section that you have reproduced or generated by use of a computer and that document omits terms or
conditions contained in the text of the form approved by the Director, the bond you submit will be deemed
to contain those terms and conditions.

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Exercise 18 - Using Lists

Use lists to simplify the texts below. Don’t rewrite the sentences! Just put a colon where you need to,
insert item numbers, and make one or two minor word changes.

Text 1

Failure to file an answer within the 30-day period may be treated as a consent to the award requested,
unless the Department or other agency requests an extension of time for filing or files a statement of intent
to negotiate under paragraph (b) of this section.

Text 2

The applicant and the operator must provide a statement in the permit application as to whether it is a
corporation, partnership, sole proprietorship, or other business entity and the taxpayer identification
numbers.

Text 3

If you determine the value of your oil under this subpart, you must retain all data relevant to the
determination of royalty value. You must be able to show how you calculated the value you reported,
including all adjustments for location, quality, and transportation, and how you complied with the
requirements of this subpart.

Text 4

The Superintendent or Area Director will provide you a written notice specifying the action that we will take
under this part and explaining the reason(s) for the action. The notice will be delivered to you by certified
mail or in person. The notice will include your appeal rights under § 70.10.

Exercise 19 - Avoiding Confusing and Wordy Language

The texts below are wordy and awkwardly constructed. How many errors can you repair?

a) We will promptly review your proposal and provide you with a nonbinding determination of the
guidance you request.
b) If we find that the evidence you submit is convincing, we may grant a reduction in the amount of
supplemental bond required.
c) We will send to the applicant copies of any comments made by State or local governments on the
applicant’s request after the comment period has ended.
d) We periodically will publish a list of aggregation points and the associated market centers. We will
monitor market activity and, if necessary, add to or modify the list of market centers and
aggregation points and will publish such modifications.
e) A performance system will allow for the development of new and innovative training techniques
and methodologies and allow companies added flexibility in tailoring their training to the specific
job duties of their employees.