Excerpt - WHAT KIND OF MOTHER by Clay McLeod Chapman
Excerpt - WHAT KIND OF MOTHER by Clay McLeod Chapman
Excerpt - WHAT KIND OF MOTHER by Clay McLeod Chapman
KIND
OF
MOTHER
BY CLAY MCLEOD CHAPMAN
This is an advance excerpt from uncorrected proofs.
Please check any quotes for review against the finished book.
Not intended for resale.
This is a work of fiction. All names, places, and characters are products
of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to
real people, places, or events is entirely coincidental.
ISBN: 978-1-68369-380-2
ABANDONED BOAT IN CHESAPEAKE CONNECTED
TO UNSOLVED MISSING PERSONS CASE
missing person
1
Such a simple invitation. I’ve asked it many times of many people over the last year.
Folks tend to forget how intimate the act is, how vulnerable you become when you surrender
your palm to another. Especially to someone like me. The tender flesh of your wrist, the meat of
your palm, the peninsulas of your fingers. Their secrets hidden from you but exposed to me.
The Brandywine Farmers Market has been around since I was a little girl leapfrogging
over the headstones in the cemetery behind Shiloh Baptist while my mother bought her greens.
Even longer than that. Every Saturday at nine on the nose, the church’s parking lot is overtaken
Each parking space hosts its own stall. Farmers pull in well before the sun even thinks
about rising, just so they can snag those hallowed spots up front where the foot traffic flows
freely. Truck beds become rusted cornucopias of fresh tomatoes, sweet potatoes, ears of corn
sheathed in leathery green husks, cucumbers covered in a fine dust of dirt, broccoli, zucchini,
pumpkins, strawberries, and baskets of blueberries. Some even offer jars of pickled okra and
peach preserves.
The local fishermen bring their bounty from Chesapeake Bay: blue shells, oysters,
herring, shrimp, mussels, clams, glass-eyed shad—all packed on beds of ice that slowly melt into
Hand-painted signs line the highway for a mile out on either side of the peninsula, luring
in passersby with promises of local produce and seafood. People who call Brandywine home still
you back twenty bucks. There’s tarot, too. I provide a full or half-deck reading. Aura cleansings.
This is as close to a career as I’ve got. Long as I can recall, there’s always been a palm
reader at the farmer’s market. Used to be my Gram. She’d pull out the same tattered tarot deck
and let you cut it anyway you liked. I’m not entirely sure why she even did it—wasn’t like she
was actually psychic—other than it got her out of the house on the weekends. I think she simply
got a kick out of spinning yarns for a couple quarters, getting the kids all giddy over their
destiny—You’ll live a long, happy life, hon… You’ll meet the fella of your dreams, darling… I
It was simple to pick up where she left off after she passed. Runs in our family, I’ll tell
any customer curious about my bona fides. I slip on the same boho tie-back dress with batwing
sleeves, armoring myself with enough bracelets that my wrists jangle, ting-ting. My work attire,
compliments of our local Goodwill. Got to dress the part. I rarely wear makeup nowadays, but
when I can afford it, I’ll give myself a little smokey eyeshadow, just to complete the effect. I’m
hoping to grow my hair out, but for now it’s cut in a bleached pixie crop, short on the sides and
longer up top, just to give my high cheekbones a fighting chance of catching somebody’s eye.
By the time I roll into church, most slots are already full, so I situate my card table at the
Rain or shine, the biddies of Brandywine come out to sell their jams and freshly baked
pies. These three hold court in their lawn chairs, watching over everyone with hawk eyes.
“Was wondering when you’d show.” Charlene always sits sweating away in her bowed
lawn chair before her stall, selling jams and jarred okra. She cools herself off with her paper fan
like some Madame Butterfly in a floral print Mumu hooked up to an oxygen tank on wheels. My
ride, she calls it, dragging it along with her wherever she goes. The rubber tubes branch out from
her nostrils, leaving her looking like she’s sprouted a pair of catfish whiskers.
“What did I miss?” I ask as I lay a silk scarf across my table, along with a handwritten
“Worried, nothing. You owe me for two weeks now.” Charlene serves as the farmers
market treasurer, collecting everybody’s deposit for the church. “You can’t be running a tab.”
“Mind spotting me? Just until the end of the day?” I’m not breaking the bank reading
folks’ fortunes on a Saturday morning. There certainly isn’t a divination 401k, but it takes the
edge off rent. If any of these fine people wish to look further into their future, get themselves The
Madi Price Special, well, I always tell them right where they can find me: Swing on by the
Henley Road Motel, just off Highway 301. I’m in room five. Just look for the neon sign…
“If I let everybody lapse on what they owe, where would we be?”
“She ain’t going nowhere,” Mama May mutters. Ever since her stroke, she’s been
partially paralyzed, only talking out of half of her mouth, slurring her words. “Let her pay later.”
Charlene adjusts herself in her lawn chair, grumbling to herself. “End of today. In full.”
lying. Millie’s mascara clots her eyelashes in charcoal clumps. It looks like she’s wearing a pair
of melting wax lips, all thanks to that thick shade of crimson she’s run over her mouth.
“Weatherman says it’s only gonna get hotter,” May says. “Well on into the triple digits.”
“Then stop listening!” Charlene rests her hand on top of the tank, palming the nozzle as if
it were a cane, with a freshly lit Pall Mall nestled between her knuckles. “What’d you predict,
Charlene waves her paper fan at me—oh hush now—before moving onto more pressing
Most vegetables are gone by noon, but folks tend to stick around and socialize. Not to
mention gossip. Brandywine is small enough that everybody’s business belongs to everyone else.
If there’s anything worth knowing, these three will be chattering on about it.
“I thought they were working things out,” I say. Loraine hasn’t come to see me for a
consultation in over a month. Probably high time I pay a visit, see if I can be of any assistance.
“Tell that to Noah Stetler,” Mama May mumbles under her breath.
“What’re we talking about?” Auntie Millie asks, leaning in with her good ear.
“Oh, yes,” Millie nods. “Loraine’s been sneaking off whenever Jesse’s outta town.”
“You want a reading? Really?” You’d be surprised how my personal enterprise doesn’t
sit so well with the Sunday service set, always judgey about my witchy ways. But when push
comes to shove, these ladies are just as eager for a peek into their future as everybody else.
“Five.”
“Deal. Let’s see what we got here...” I pore over her palm like a miner sifting for mineral
deposits.
“Spot some lottery numbers in there and I’ll give you half.”
“If I see any winning numbers, you better believe I’m keeping them to myself!” I hear the
rasp in her chest, water flooding a phlegmy engine. “How’s your health been lately?”
I run my fingertip along the shallow crease within the left hemisphere of Charlene’s
palm, as if I’m heading upstream. “Maybe you should schedule yourself an appointment.”
“I’m no doctor,” I try distancing myself from a diagnosis. “Can’t x-ray you with my
mind, hon, but when I see a line dry up like this, that tends to suggest something needs checking
out.”
“Good. Let’s keep you nice and healthy. Who else am I gonna buy my okra from?”
“Lord, you haven’t bought okra from me in ages.” Charlene coughs, then asks, “How’s
Kendra?”
Hearing her name hits me right in the chest. I’m sure Charlene notices. “Doing just fine.”
“She still living with Donny?” Of course she knows. Everyone in town knows Kendra is
living with her father after spending nearly all sixteen years of her life with me. That’s the whole
reason why we moved back to Brandywine recently. Back to the town where my parents
disowned me and my baby daddy made it clear he wanted nothing to do with me.
Charlene’s simply testing me, I can tell, digging around for a juicy morsel. Most days I
can deflect, but for some reason this morning, it takes all my strength to maintain my smile. I’m
not about to give Charlene the satisfaction of knowing she struck a nerve.
“Don’t change the subject on me,” I manage. “Promise you’ll schedule that checkup?”
“Lord above, as I live and breathe.” Charlene’s eyes widen. Something’s caught her
attention just over my shoulder. “Look who the cat just dragged in…”
“Whose cat?” Auntie Millie leans forward in her lawn chair, straining to pull herself up.
“Over there.”
“I don’t see—”
“Over there, you blind ol’ bat. Is that the McCabe boy?”
“Who?”
“Henry.”
I turn to look. Most boys I grew up with lost their hair and gained beer guts, raising a
littler of kids in the nearby trailer park. Henry’s still got a lion’s mane of sandy blonde hair.
Lucky him. He’s grown himself a beard, which doesn’t look all that bad on him, to be honest.
He’s wearing a fleece jacket over a flannel shirt. The stained jeans are a dead giveaway he’s
living off the river. The Chesapeake raises its fair share of fisherman. He works with his hands,
But it’s his eyes that stop me. There’s a weight to them.
When’s the last time I laid eyes on Henry? Bound to be decades by now. Well before
Kendra.
“What’s he doing here?” Charlene rumbles, offended she wasn’t consulted first.
“I hear he’s living on his boat,” Millie whispers. “After he lost his house, he had no—”
“We’ll have none of that talk now,” Charlene shuts her down. “You leave Henry alone.”
“Their son went missing five years ago,” Millie whispers. “Eight months old, vanished,
“That’s one version goin’ ‘round.” These ladies couldn’t mind their own business if they
were paid. “His wife had herself an absolutely awful case of baby blues. Nobody saw her for
months and—” Millie leans in closer to me and whispers, “She hung herself. In their house.”
“Do they think she had something to do with…” I can’t finish the thought.
“He’s one of ours,” Charlene chastises them, having heard enough. “Is that how you treat
one of our own? A man’s got a right to move on. Lord knows he’s been through enough.”
Millie sinks into her chair, pouting. “That man’s story never made a lick of sense to me.”
Charlene straightens her back to let her lungs flex in her chest, easing her wheezing for a
spell. “Henry,” she belts out across the parking lot. “Get your behind over here, young man!”
Millie pulls out her compact, panicking as he approaches. “How’s my face? How is it?”
Henry’s eyes find me first and won’t let go. He smells like a bouquet of Old Bay
“Lord, Henry, look how you’ve grown,” Charlene starts. “You’re a weed on two feet!”
“Hush now.” Charlene is all charm. “You’ll always be that little boy sitting in the back
pew to me. Still got those cheeks I’d pinch every Sunday, even if you’re trying to hide them…”
“Still got ‘em.” He smiles, then nods to the other ladies. “Morning, Millie. May.”
“Helllooooo,” they both coo back.
“I had,” I say. “For a while. Family brought me home.” There’s some truth sprinkled in
there, somewhere, but I don’t necessarily feel like dredging up much more than that right now.
Henry McCabe. Just look at him. It’s like the last sixteen years simply wash away with
the tide, swept out to sea, dragging the past back with the undertow. I’m suddenly sent back in
time, slipping into high school all over again, thinking about those three months our junior year.
Three months. Doesn’t seem like much in the grand scheme of things, but back then, lord, it felt
like a lifetime. Henry is, heaven help me for saying this, the boy that got away.
The what-ifs start stockpiling in my mind: What if we’d lasted just one more month
together? What if I’d stuck with him instead of drifting off with Donny?
“Wasn’t there something between you two back in school?” Charlene prods, even though
she damn well knows the answer already. “There was, wasn’t there? Now I remember!”
“You, too,” I say. “Didn’t recognize you with the beard. You can finally grow one.”
“My finest hirsute accomplishment, don’t you think?” Henry always tried to hide behind
his shoulder-length hair, looking like a pockmarked Eddie Vedder. He’d strum his guitar during
lunch, laying low in the school’s parking lot where nobody else was listening. But I certainly
was.
I’d always sneak out to get stoned in my Nova. Henry set my soundtrack. His voice
drifted through the lot, flitting along the parked cars. I went on a mission to find the source of
I finally caught him sitting between cars, strumming to himself. What song is that?
For who? He didn’t have an answer for that, so I said, Whoever it’s for, she’s a lucky
gal…
Henry always found himself in the crosshairs of the good ol’ boys at school. Anyone who
didn’t pick up a football with one hand and a can of Coors in the other was bound to be a target.
Donny definitely gave him shit. But Henry always seemed destined for better things beyond
Brandywine. I believed he could’ve been somebody. A rock star. He could’ve taken me with
him.
“You’re looking just like I remembered,” he says, pulling me out of the past. “You
“I got a daughter who’d say otherwise.” My fingers find their way to my ear, combing
“Kendra, right?”
Donny Goddamn Watkins? You wouldn’t have Kendra for one thing, I say to myself, shooting
down this fleeting fantasy before it actually has a chance to take off in my mind.
“You staying out of trouble, Henry?” Charlene asks. “Haven’t seen you at services.”
“Never too late to come back… Are they still doing that support group on Tuesdays?”
“Not enough people signed up,” he says without pause. “Closest meeting for families is at
Trinity Baptist, but that’s a bit far. I’ll go every now and then when I feel like I really need it.”
“Glad to hear it. What’re you doing for work these days?”
“Leave the poor man alone, Charlene,” May mumbles out the side of her mouth.
“I don’t mind,” Henry says. “Little bit of everything, I reckon? Landscaping in the
summer, whenever I can find the work. Crab most mornings, but there’s not much running.”
“Good pickings?”
“Pretty slim, but I’m getting by. Used to sell directly to Haddocks, but they shut down.”
“Way of the world,” Charlene says. “What’re you selling? Those blue shells I see?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“No peelers today, sorry. Maybe in a month. It’s been slow this season.”
“How much you sellin’ them for?” It strikes me that Charlene hasn’t harped on Henry for
his five dollar deposit like she did with me, but I figure it’s better to let her flirt.
away! I’ll take a dozen off your hands. Been ages since I steamed myself up some blue shells.”
“Ma’am, nothing. Call me Charlene, you hear?” Her breath catches and, for a moment, I
worry one of her air tubes got a kink in it. The oxygen’s not reaching her lungs anymore.
“Madi.” Her expression ignites as she turns toward me. I know where this is all heading
before she even breathes a word of it. “Why don’t you give Henry here one of your readings?”
“Nonsense. If there ever was anyone in need of a forecast for some good weather, it’s this
young man right here.” She lifts her hand and motions to Henry, almost like she’s guiding his
truck to back into a tight parking spot. “Henry, did you know Madi here is touched?”
Jesus, this is embarrassing. I feel myself blush, all the blood running right to my cheeks.
“Go on, Madi,” Charlene insists. “See what you can see.”
Henry steps back, holding his hands out in a surrendering gesture. This is all a little too
rich for his blood. “That’s a mighty kind offer, but… I’m fine today, thanks.”
“I won’t hear it.” Charlene takes another puff from her Pall Mall, straining to inhale, the
This is only getting more awkward. The two of us are acting like a pair of eighth-graders
being forced to dance with each other at the Spring formal. “You sure about this?” I ask.
“Doesn’t sound like we have much of a choice, do we?”
“Let’s get a little privacy.” I lead him away from the ladies. I don’t want them
eavesdropping. Nothing but a bunch of beaming queens giggling on their foldout thrones.
“We don’t really have to do this,” I whisper as we head to his truck. Lord knows how
long he’s been driving it. From the rust chewing through its chassis, he should put his Toyota out
of its misery before it keels over. There are about five laundry baskets nestled together in the rear
truck bed, each one filled to the hilt with blue shells, nothing but a knot of claws.
“I can make something up.” I’m still focused on the crabs. “Get Charlene off our backs.”
“Oh yeah, coming from a mile away. A whole lotta dark hues radiating off of you.”
He glances over his left shoulder, then his right, checking his personal space for any
cumulus clouds gathering around him. “Usually takes longer before the ladies spot my aura.”
Flirting feels so familiar with him, it’s easy to slip right back into the habit of it. The
tangle of blue shells shift in their baskets, stirring themselves. Something’s agitated them. The
wet clicking from their jaws picks up, a froth of air bubbles spuming out from their mandibles.
One crab tries to make a run for it, crawling across the others until it’s situated on top. It
halts along the basket’s handle, inches away from me. It raises its claws over its head.
Henry clasps the crab with his bare hand, unafraid of getting pinched. He tosses it back in
the basket. “So how come you don’t go by Madame Madi or something like that?”
“Would you trust me if I did, darlin’?” I let my accent linger a little longer. The twang
tends to sell the prediction just a bit more. “I’m not gonna glimpse into a crystal ball to sell you
on some ham-fisted future. If that’s what you’re after, try a psychic hotline. They’re cheaper.”
“Just you.”
“Yeah,” he says with the slightest laugh. Or is it a sigh? “I see you’re hurting.”
Henry goes silent. I can’t read him. He’s all walled up except around his eyes. There’s
I glance through the window of his truck. The inside is filled with paperwork. No—not
paperwork. Flyers. Piles of photocopies occupy the passenger seat, spilling into the footwell.
I lean in and spy a child’s blackened eyes peering up from the stack.
It’s him.
I hold out my own to Henry, palm up, ready to receive his. “Give me your hand.”
Henry suddenly hesitates. His hands are still stuffed in his jacket. “I doubt you’d be able
“Either we’re doing this or not. You gotta give me your hand so I can do my job.”
“Come on,” I give him one last nudge. “What’ve you got to lose?”
Everything. His eyes pinch and I know I’ve crossed a line.
“It’s alright.” Henry hesitates before pulling out his hand. I forgot that he’s left-handed.
The only southpaw I’ve ever met other than Kendra. He twists his wrist to expose his palm. The
sleeve on his jacket pulls back, exposing thin rivulets winding up along his forearm. Scars. I
can’t see how far they reach, but I can tell these creeks run deep.
I take his hand and there’s a sudden rush of water all around me, everything going wet in
seconds, a flood rising up from his hand into mine like the high tide and I swear I see a—
duck blind
—I let Henry go and stumble back a step. I hear myself gasp, taking in the air so fast, it’s
The image persists even after our hands separate. It still feels like I’m in the water. Where
did this river come from? It’s fading now, I’m losing the image, but there, right there, just up
ahead, I swear I can still glimpse a manmade structure rising up from the water’s surface.
A duck blind. Nothing but a freestanding shack on four utility posts, dead center of the
river. Do they even make those things anymore? I can’t remember the last time I saw one.
Then it’s gone. The river recedes all around us, even if I can still feel it.
“What was that?” I hear myself ask, picking up the startled tremor in my own voice.
I’m dripping wet. At first, I think I’m drenched from having fallen into the water—but
no. It’s simply sweat. The humidity’s clinging to my skin, a wet presence, nearly alive. Organic.
I see Henry’s sweating, too. Beads of perspiration pebble his temples. “You okay?” He
asks as his hand retreats into his pocket, a fiddler crab slipping inside its sandy hovel.
“Yeah, I...” I try to gather myself. A dizzy spell has me now in its grip. I can’t focus on
what’s in front of me, my mind still stuck between two places. What just happened to me?
I’m thinking heatstroke. I’m thinking I didn’t eat anything this morning. I’m thinking
seeing Henry after all these years has thrown me off balance. He stares back at me, an anxious
expression working its way across his face. “Did you see something?” he asks. “Did you see…”
He’s about to say his name. It’s right there at the tip of his tongue.