How To Overcome Fear
How To Overcome Fear
How To Overcome Fear
Can you disagree with the fact that you have experienced fear of anything or any kind at least once in a lifetime? Every single person on this earth has felt fear at a certain point of time in his life. Though fear is an emotion that we would best like to avoid, it creeps up every once in a while. It is true that you cannot avoid fear, but you can certainly follow tips that will help you to remain level-headed in situations that can otherwise make you scared. Fear is the natural response of every human being when he is placed in a situation that he has not been waiting for or has not experienced before. Sometimes, a sense of shame and insecurity also leads to development of fear within a persons mind. Fear is often the result of aggravated tensions and an agitated mind. It is very important to know the reasons of your fear if you have to overcome it. So to kill fear you have to first identify the source of that fear. Here are some tips to overcome fear.
Overcoming Fear
Understand Your Fear Try to understand why you fear or what causes you to fear. Only when you have identified the source of your fear can you start on the process of overcoming it. You can start by listing all your fears on your notepad and then striking them off once you have overcome them.
Breathe Deep Taking deep breaths when you are scared or worried helps you relax to a great extent. Make sure that you exhale longer than you inhale. Fear will automatically reduce since you will also calm down. This can also help you to think things out effectively. Breathing exercises can be practiced during meditation.
Chalk Out A Plan & Be Positive Always have a plan for situations which may not bring you certain results. For instance, you may be afraid to attend an interview in fear of being rejected. You may also fear a date for similar reasons or may feel scared about losing your job as you do not know how life will be after that. But in all these situations, you can chalk out a plan beforehand, a plan which will bring you favorable results and thus kill all fears. Though plans do not work always, a positive attitude always does, therefore think positive in every walk of life.
Confront Your Fears Many people are scared of something specific, like being in the dark or driving or swimming. If you too fall in the same category, make it a point to learn the thing that you fear doing. Even if you fail once or twice, dont give up on your hope and practice hard to overcome your fear. Switch off the lights when you are alone in a room and see what happens. You can be assured that nothing is going to attack you! Once when you have confronted your fear by actually performing the same thing that you fear, you will successfully kill your fear.
Boost Up Confidence Sometimes, fear is the result of extreme low belief in oneself and low confidence. Practice exercises which help to boost self confidence. For example, you can stand in front of the mirror and pretend to speak to a stranger, so that you do not have to fear mingling with a new group of people the next time you come across one. This exercise can also help you overcome stage fright.
Seek Medical Help If nothing seems to be working for you and you still feel intermittently scared, there is no harm in seeking medical help, for who knows, after a couple of sessions, you might actually be able to ward off your fear. Nowadays, there are psychiatrists who help people to overcome their fear and shortcomings. However, resort to this, only when all the above have failed.
Do not feel afraid; always know that there is an end to every fear. Keep the scary ghosts at bay and enjoy life the way it is meant to be enjoyed!
Fear Of Intimacy
Fear of intimacy is a major reason behind undermining of relationships. It is a major factor behind the relationships falling apart. Sharing ourselves becomes a problem when we feel that that we are defective, unworthy, and unlovable.
What is Fear of Intimacy In simple words, fear of intimacy is the hesitation of a person in revealing him/her self to another person. This could lead disastrous effects on a person.
Causing Factors A slew of factors could be behind the fear in relationships. Childhood plagued with abuse and neglect, may make an individual fearful of his new relationship. He could unwillingly think that the new relation could also bring him abuse. Fear of abandonment could force a guarded behavior, eliminating the possibility of an intimate relationship. Persons who have got a little emotional intimacy have problems developing emotional intimacy with other persons. They feel that if they reveal themselves to other people it could be harmful to them.
Result of the Trauma A traumatized person could suffer in lowered self-confidence, self-esteem and self-worth. A feeling of guilt could arise in the person. He could suffer from feeling guilty or feeling like a failure. The person could feel
depressed, hopeless and empty. He could even feel that his personality is defected. He could feel as if his pride has been sabotaged and all the world is behind him. Fear of intimacy could have serious implications for a persons personality.
Healing Head and Heart For getting out of the quagmire, we have to first heal our head and then heart. We have to try intellectually and push out false beliefs. We have to intellectually understand the importance of love and intimacy. And then we have to integrate it with our day-to-day human existence. When we will be able to integrate the head and heart totally, we will be able to substantially change the dysfunctional behavior patterns. The integration will heal our emotional wounds and lead to normal life. In short, we will have to deal with the subconscious emotions. Once we rectify these feelings, we will be able to remove fear of intimacy.
Reveal yourself with words and actions. In place of turning your back at the problem, step out and reveal yourself. Your behavior should be authentic and the other person must not feel that you are hiding your feelings.
Share your personal and everyday experiences with your partner and close friends. This will open you up and reduce fear of intimacy. Talk to your friends and what is going in your life. Share your thoughts, your hopes and your frustrations. You will feel that you are not alone. Intimacy in relationships will help you feel complete and enhance your self-worth. You must try and inculcate this in your subconscious self.
Identify your fear in detail and name it. Your enemy, once identified, is just like any other challenge to be dealt with. Consider your fear like a room that is to be painted or some similar task. A process known as systematic desensitization is often used by most psychologists. This process helps you in getting closer to the fear each time you are around it. Get used to the way the fear makes you feel.
Do no try to get rid of the fear. Sometimes, it can be stubborn and determined. Overcoming the fear is a time-consuming process but the reward is worth it. Do not preoccupy yourself with fearful or troubling thoughts. Although this is challenging but it is very necessary. Turn off unwanted thoughts in the same impersonal way as you may think of your stomach rumbling, Oh, there goes my brain rumbling again.
You may often think that fear can rage like an inferno, where as in reality it may be nothing but a little more than a candle flame. Do not waste your energy fearing too much. Old fears raise their head from time to time, so do not be too hard on yourself. Be patient and determined and let yourself be exposed to the change. Examine your fears and see how foolish or crazy they are. Pen down the reasons why you are paralyzing yourself by those fears. Prepare yourself well and be committed as fears become more uncontrollable at first when you challenge their hold on you. Inculcate healthy habits like yoga and meditation. As you become rich inside yourself, peace and serenity will manifest your life. Stop over-analyzing any situation. Develop a habit of taking every experience positively. This can be practiced on a daily basis. Stop being obsessed with anyone and anything. Laugh out your troubles and let life free for sometime. Youll feel free from fear, jealousy and attachments. Avoid thinking too much. Worrying is a slow poison that eats you up daily. Forget the past and start moving ahead. Mistakes are part of life and so are bad experiences, hence, do not carry the burden and delete them from the memory.
Fear Of Talking
Fear in any form can be terrifying and paralyzing, be it the fear of failure, fear of the unexpected or the fear of losing a loved one. Fear, in general, is unhealthy. However, if we are unable to control our fears, eventually they start taking complete control on us, thereby weakening us emotionally, mentally and physically as well. Hence, the best way to overcome our fear is by mastering it and preventing it from controlling us. The fear of talking, whether on the phone or in public, has become a common problem seen in most people nowadays. Not only does it stop the person from contacting loved ones, it also blocks work and business opportunities, causing anxiety and distress. The fear of talking results in delay in picking up
important calls and delivering speeches in public. Does the problem sound similar to what you are facing? Looking for ways to overcome this problem? Scroll these lines to find tips on overcoming the fear of talking on the phone as well as in public.
Phone Calls
Make a note of all the conversation that you would be talking on the phone. Most people are scared about forgetting what they intend to say to the other person on the phone. The best way to deal with this is to write down all that you will speak. This would help ease all your worries.
Most people panic when they receive a rude phone call, as they do not know how to react to such calls. In such a case, ask your friend to behave like one of those people. He/she might enact the way your boss or the bill collector does. Practice your responses in order to better behave when the actual call rings.
If you are into a marketing job where you have to promote various products to strangers, it is natural to get anxious about the questions that the customers would pour in. Hence, gather all the possible knowledge about your product to speak confidently and answer the questions accordingly.
While making calls to an unknown person, some people fear that the person on the other end would respond negatively or start cross questioning. To overcome such a situation, prepare for the negative reaction in advance.
Always make a call when you feel comfortable rather than talking when the person feels better. Do not worry about the time that you would be calling, simply focus on your comfort level. For example, if you are a morning person, it is best to make calls in the morning rather than when you are dull.
Public Speaking
Always pick up a topic that you are comfortable with, such as sports, television, fashion or anything that interests you and puts you on the front. Gather all the possible extensive knowledge on that subject.
While speaking, always look at the audience and make eye contact. Though this is the basic rule of public speaking, it takes considerable time for a person to get adjusted. Many new speakers always look over the heads of the audience or at the floor or ceiling.
Never ever converse with the first friendly face that you find in a gathering. Try and make efforts to talk to everyone present. Eye contact plays a vital role here in keeping the audience glued to your talk.
Practice speaking by recording your speech in a small tape player and listening to it later on. Initially, you will be surprised to hear to your voice but with time, you will love to hear it. While recording your voice, start looking into a mirror reflecting how you project yourself in front of the audience. This will give you an idea of what gestures and expressions you pose to your listeners and how you can work on them so as to improve.
Logic Fear may be emotional but in most cases it is not logical. The problem is that fear numbs the mind so much that the person cannot exercise his or her logical faculties. In that case some other person must take the responsibility of explaining that the fear is illogical. Gradually the victim must be taught to apply logic to the situation.
Investigate You see a shadow in the corner and curl up on the bed not daring to go to the next room. In situations like this investigation can drive away your fears. Instead of sitting, switch on the lights and see what the shadow is. In this way you can counter your fear with facts. When we are in fear we tend to see images and the best way to drive these is to counter it. If you cant switch on the lights then throw something at it, like a pillow. More often than not you will manage to drive out a cat or your sibling.
Since darkness is the best friend of fear it is always better to locate a source of light. In case you cannot find any, start picturing to yourself the various object near you. And say them aloud. Like you can say that on my right is the TV, on my left is the cupboard and so on and so forth till you can visualize everything.
Relax Learn to relax. Read inspirational books or anything that warms the heart. Thrillers and mystery novels are great as they engage your complete attention. In this way when you are faced with fear you can relax your selves and think about these things.
Sing Or Talk Sounds funny but when you are alone and fear grips you, act as if you are not alone. Talk to yourself like you would talk to a friend. Better still sing as you can make yourself oblivious to the fear. The trick is not to remind yourself of the fear. As long as you dont realize fear, you wont have fear. Also remember that silence heightens the fear and so hearing your own voice, either in singing or in talking, goes a long way in driving it.
Psychotherapy If the fear is extreme then psychotherapy is advised. In therapy the root cause of the fear is analyzed and the patient is slowly brought to terms with it. The therapy goes on or an extended period of time and varies from individual to individual.
Dogs are lovable animals and loyal to their masters. They can have a fierce side but remember that they attack only when provoked. To get rid of your fear, you have to be sensitive, knowledgeable, positive, careful, and responsible towards the animal.
Find out why you are scared of dogs. Remind yourself that dogs are the best friends of man, and repeat this in your mind every day. Visit your local dog park. Watch the dogs and their activities from a distance for at least a few minutes. Do this activity for about a month. Try to befriend a dog. You dont have to hug or touch them instantly. A slow gradual process will help you. Choose a dog that you are familiar with like a friends pet or one that a family member owns.
You can watch a film on dogs, or look for cute pictures and images of puppies or dogs cuddling with humans, and indulging in playful activities. It really can have a positive impact on you, and your approach towards the dogs.
There are some people who like dogs but are afraid to touch or go near them. If you like dogs but the fear puts a barrier between you and the dog then you should collect information on dogs, and you will be surprised to learn a lot of positive qualities about them. Try to understand the nature, and behavior of the dogs, and you will learn to admire them.
Do not harbor any wrong impression about the size or the appearance of the dog. Dogs like Labrador may be large in size but they are one of the gentlest creatures. On the other hand, a Pekinese which is smaller in size can be very aggressive.
Start playing with puppies. They are harmless, small, with no sharp teeth, no growling, and no snarling. You will be surprised to find those puppies recognizing you within a few days of your friendship.