AUTOETHNOGRAPHY 1

Autoethnography:

Reflecting on My Multicultural Development and its Significance in Student Affairs

Rita Manalastas

Graduate Programs in Student Development and Administration, Seattle University

SDAD 5400 01: Student Development Research Theory Practice

Dr. Yamamura

January 11, 2022

Autoethnography: Reflecting on My Multicultural Development and its Significance in

Student Affairs

I’ve spent all of my K-12 experience in my hometown of San Jose, CA. I am a proud

former student of our public school system that had some of the most diverse student

populations. I rarely felt alone. My classrooms were filled with students who held various

identities and brought their values and culture with them to school every day. This is something I

reminisce often and reflect on because there are days in which I would do almost anything to

experience my time surrounded by people with who I felt at home with. These are the same

people I would witness with today’s social media to become nurses, educators, business owners,

parents, and individuals who have their own rich lives and achieved their own meaning of

excellence. My multicultural development would have gigantic holes in them if I didn’t talk

about the impact of my peers who were authentically and proudly themselves. I’m grateful to

have been raised in an environment that allowed me to be exposed to diverse identities while I

consciously and critically have the opportunity to learn from a young age about the importance

of acceptance, cultural humility, and educating one’s self that went beyond socializing with my

peers and learning about their backgrounds.

I Am Not in What I Learn

During some of the most formative years of my life, the lens through which I viewed the

world was colorful and abundant. However, the curriculum that was presented to me cast a white

shadow. Imagine a room filled with children of color and they were all being subliminally taught

that only white voices, acts, and art were the ones worth learning about. I noticed this

juxtaposition when I was learning about Christopher Columbus's "achievements" in Ms. Evan's

class. This Westernized curriculum felt awkward, painfully normalized, and would soon
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complicate the relationship between me and my identities. My self-portraits were white, my

Tagalog turned to English, and I was too afraid to bring last night's leftovers for lunch. I can't

speak for my other classmates, but my multicultural development was met with the reality of

who held centuries of power and privilege that was enough to transform the education of

thousands of BIPOC students.

Shaped by My Undergraduate Experience

My undergrad experience at Seattle University was a shift in surroundings, people, and

educational mission. It was my K-12 experience, but inverted. I went from seeing students who

looked like me to being in a PWI. But instead of the non-questionable, white-washed education I

got in San Jose, I was met with more perspectives and narratives that felt more familiar despite it

being the first time I would come across them. Once again, my multicultural development was

challenged and confused. While I was absorbed and captivated in the diverse history, figures,

and world views, I didn't feel motivated to engage with many white students and faculty who

would tokenize BIPOC stories for clout. It felt like they would feed on oppression and injustices

to gain points for their own multicultural development. The concept of DEI and social justice felt

shallow and far removed from the actual issues humanity is suffering from. I could think of

several moments where I've felt enlightened by my courses and new ways of thinking while I've

also felt a lack of belonging in my new community. Those four years was the height of my

multicultural development because I was forced to reflect on my position as a first-generation,

student of color in an institution of immense privilege. This was also the first environment where

I first saw, felt, and experienced "intersectionality". This was the environment in which I

explored my oppressed and privileged identities. As an able-bodied person, I listened to the

accessibility issues on campus that were amplified by my peers with disabilities. I now
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understood the significance of having two working, married parents whose jobs gave me an

upper-middle-class childhood. I was not ineligible for scholarships and resources because of my

citizenship status. My San Jose bubble had burst for the better as I had gone through internal and

external reflection, but my inner child was perpetually shocked at the higher amount of white

privilege and elitism around me. My college self was thriving in self-reflection and newness in

the context of social justice. But as a student of color, I just felt lucky to be there. My mind was

blown by the past and present events happening in the world that were formerly withheld from

my education. But the inherent systemic oppression of higher education weighed heavy on me.

I've concluded that my time in undergrad was equally defined by immense growth and jarring

realizations.

Shaped by My Filipino Family

The only way to explain my family's impact on my multicultural development is to

describe their assimilation moving from the Philippines to the United States. My dad was in the

Army and soon after, both he and my mom became nurses. I've gotten mixed signals from them

that would tell me to never forget where we came from but if white people were in my space, I

was to follow them. Be like them. My dad was particularly passionate about ensuring that I don't

lose my native Tagalog tongue. Yet, we would go through English phonics and vocabulary

flashcards every night when I was four or five years old. It was with my family that I could feel

so proud to be a Filipina and feel so ashamed. I was torn on who to be, constantly. My

multicultural development has always experienced dichotomies, and the first one started at home.

The Power of Food

The most positive memories I hold dearly have always been associated with the Filipino
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food I was blessed to be around. My family had no problem keeping these traditions alive. My

understanding of the concept of values and culture was born in my family's kitchen. If they had

one influence on my multicultural development, it would be my strong connection to artifacts

that I can smell and taste, which in turn is how I connect to other people. I know how these

artifacts can make people feel at home.

A Model Minority

As cooking and eating reinforced my identity, the Model Minority idea would unravel it.

My parents wanted success in the U.S., and I saw them lose some parts of our Filipino identity

without them even knowing. This produced the unrelenting pressure to perform to Western

standards and sacrifice my identity if it meant getting further in life. This traumatized me as I

cultivated my own perspective of multicultural subjects. I believed the harmful notion that labor

and tangible success were what made me worthy of being here.

Points of Multicultural Clarity

It is challenging to think about what areas I am the most developed in because these didn’t

click over-night and I can’t pinpoint an exact moment where I felt like I “got this”. But despite

the fact this journey has felt like a blur, I can reflect on the most impactful thoughts and events

that have shaped me and my thinking. The biggest area I’ve developed, and am continuously

developing in, is the meaning and implementation of diversity and intersectionality. Like I

previously described, my childhood was set in a diverse community. This was obviously

something that I saw was diverse. As a child, I didn’t know what the worldly significance was.

Diverse was just meant something that I could describe. At Seattle University, It was when there

was an absence of diversity that triggered me to think deeper about it. Because diversity is more

than a room filled with different races and ethnicities. It is what diversity does. I remember being
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in my first meeting as an orientation advisor with the rest of the team. This team was

intentionally diverse in not only race and ethnicity, but also class standing, undergrad

experiences, backgrounds, hometowns, etc. I think back and realize that diversity doesn't further

anything if it isn't for the purpose of enriching an environment and creating steps towards equity

and social justice. The older I become and the more weight my actions have, diversity needs to

be beyond what a room looks like. My orientation team had stories that could influence the

functions of our roles. Their intersectionality deepened our understanding of each other and our

identities' relationship to our leadership. As I am now the graduate coordinator of orientation, I

am careful that our diversity means something meaningful and tangible because diversity isn't to

be exploited or performative. My inclusivity training is transparent about my "non-professional"

knowledge and responsibility to educate myself further.

My Intention to Grow

I wanted to pursue student affairs because I wanted to be a part of something bigger: the

higher education system. My foundations in social work and passion for working for and

alongside students have introduced me to a topic I've only witnessed a crumb of. Social justice is

an abstract topic that I like to explain using micro, mezzo, and macro examples. But how do we

execute initiatives that can produce high-impact change? How can student affairs personnel

participate in the transformation that disrupts harmful norms and promote a practice that is based

on diversity, equity, and inclusion? I abandoned the possibility of working in the field of social

work because I was tired from experiencing unethical systemic issues. I soon discovered that

higher education has similar problems. I wish to be a part of something bigger, but higher

education can be overwhelming to tackle. During my time in the SDA program, I hope to explore

tangible, measurable options for change. How can I better comprehend the needs of student
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populations and determine the next course of action to better serve them and foster positive

experiences?

Centering Community

I know that this goal isn't possible without community. This means my community within

SU and the community beyond its borders. My multicultural development is a collective

responsibility, and I am constantly inspired to collaborate with departments, organizations, other

schools, and institutions to acknowledge our responsibility for more accessible and inclusive

education. My "why" for these goals is anchored by my "who". I do this learning and imagining

for people who are continuously ostracized by a system that they are taught is too out of reach

for them. My passion for supporting students cannot be separated from my role in revealing and

acting upon the potential of social justice in the context of education. I strive to create a setting

that is boundless and empowering where students have control over education, not the other way

around.