AQA English GCSE

Poetry: Love & Relationships

Before You Were Mine - ​Carol Ann Duffy

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 BEFORE YOU WERE MINE
Carol Ann Duffy

Brief Summary

This is a poem addressed to the speaker’s mother.

The speaker is looking at a photograph of her mother
and blending her own childhood memories of her
with the life she imagines her mother had before she
was born. The poem shifts tone to one of regret as
Duffy reflects on the sacrifices her mother must have
made when she was born to accommodate her in
her life.

Synopsis
● The speaker is thinking back ten years before
she was born to her mother’s life, and she
imagines her on a street corner with two friends in a polka-dot dress.
● The speaker compares her mother to Marliyn Monroe.
● Describes her mother dancing and having a good night out, before getting told off by her
parents when she returns home.
● Then, when the speaker is born, she is taken to Mass by her mother and they would dance
down the street together.
● Concludes with a tone of regret, comparing how good her mother’s life seemed to be before the
speaker was born and disrupted it.

Context

Carol Ann Duffy (1955 - )

Duffy’s mother died in 2005, about a decade after this poem was written. The impact her mother
had on her life is evident as she told the Guardian about the “​bereavement following close behind
the heartbreak she chronicles with such searing brilliance in Rapture​”. ‘Rapture’ is another poetry
collection by Duffy.

She was raised in the 1950s by her parents as a Roman Catholic, which helps to explain the
religious references within her work. The poem explores the strong conventions of society women
were expected to adhere to during the 1950s, such as to remain at home, not work, and raise their
children.

Generationally, she would have been separated from her mother by the Second World War, which
may contribute to this perceived distance between them in the mother // daughter relationship.

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From the collection ‘Mean Time’ (1993)
About ‘Mean Time’ Pan MacMillan (the publisher) wrote: ​“Poet Laureate Carol Ann Duffy
dramatises scenes from childhood, adolescence and adulthood, finding moments of grace or
consolation in memory, love and language amid the complexities of life. These are powerful poems
of loss, betrayal and desire.”

KEY THEMES BREVITY OF HAPPINESS, REGRET, CHILDHOOD, AGING, SACRIFICE

RELATIONSHIP MOTHER / CHILD

LOVE PARENTAL, MATERNAL, DISTANT

Before You Were Mine

This is a poem centred around a daughter reflecting on her mother’s life before she was born, and
her life during the speaker’s childhood. It explores an intimate, yet ​distant, maternal relationship​,
between the speaker and her mother. The poem also explores the ​theme of female suppression
and the restrictive society for women in the mid 1900s​.

The distance implied throughout the poem may be reflective of generational divide. It is assumed
that the poem is auto-biographical (and this fits in with the popular culture references made, for
example “Marilyn.”), then the speaker and her mother will have had their childhoods and formative
years separated by the second world war. ​This may imply that there is a tertiary level of theme,
with Duffy exploring the effects of childhood and motherhood, and relationships involved,
in a conformist, post-war society.

The poem uses an array of poetic devices, which is

typical of Duffy’s work, as well as a stable stanza
structure, which could possibly be considered atypical of
her poetry - this may set it aside from the majority of her
work, as it is a more intimate piece than the
concentration on societal commentary she often works
within the frame of.

The speaker appears to flit between a defensive stance

and tone of regret, when considering her mother’s past,
and seems to express guilt that she may have changed
her mother’s life for the worse. This could be interpreted
from the line: “you sparkle and waltz and laugh before
you were mine”. The poem also works to ​reverse roles
in the traditional maternal relationship​ - the speaker
describes her mother as “mine”, and this can be seen as
a reversal on the typical power balance in a mother -
child relationship.

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 Before You Were Mine

This situates the poem in The relaxed, informal tone of

fiction, as Duffy cannot be “pals” suggests she is
sure of what is actually comfortable about her mother
happening in the photo, but it and they have an intimate
is taken ten years before bond.
Duffy is born. ​The separation I'm​ ​ten years away​ from the ​corner​ ​you​ laugh on “Shriek” suggests a very jovial
between the address “you” and playful image, and Duffy
and “I” highlights a tone of may be mulling over the
with your ​pals​, Maggie McGeeney and Jean Duff.
distance between the two carefree life her mother was
individuals​. ​“Corner” may able to live before her birth.
symbolise that the mother is She has no need at this point
The three of you bend from the waist, holding
in a liminal state between to consider the future, she is
childhood and adulthood, but simply living in the moment,
isn’t ready to get older yet. each other, or your knees, and ​shriek at the pavement​. and introduces the theme of
Duffy is comparing the freedom and independence
image of her mother to the which comes before women
famous actress Marilyn Your polka-dot dress blows round your legs. ​Marilyn​. give birth and have the
Monroe, and this is enclosed societal pressures of being a
in a single word sentence to mother. Duffy may be
really emphasise a commenting on the unfair
separation between her discrepancies in expectations
mother in the past and then between mothers and fathers
during Duffy’s childhood. when they have a child.
I'm not here yet. The​ ​thought of me doesn't occur
Monroe commited suicide,
so potentially this reference Sounds slightly bitter and
could reflect the in the ballroom with the thousand eyes, the ​fizzy, movie​ tomorrows
jealous.
unhappiness which was Duffy refers back to her earlier
associated with Duffy’s birth comparison of her mother to
ten years later. Monroe was the right walk home could bring. I knew you would dance Marilyn Monroe, and the
iconic and a symbol of mention of “movies” connotes
glamour. Female sexuality is fiction and stories, which
intrinsically linked to a like that. ​Before you were mine​, your Ma stands at the close contrasts with the harsh
woman’s individual freedom. realities of life she was
Duffy repeats the phrase subjected to when Duffy was
“before you were mine” to with a hiding for the late one. You reckon it's worth it. born, and the responsibilities
emphasise the importance of of being a mother.
this title and the separation
she feels from this earlier
version of her mother
compared to the version that
she knew as a child and then The decade ahead of ​my loud, possessive yell​ was the best one, ​eh​?
an adult, but also sets a
slightly ominous tone. Tone of regret that Duffy may
I remember my hands in those high-heeled red shoes, relics, have caused her mother to
lose the carefree nature of her
earlier life before her daughter
and now your ghost clatters toward me over George Square was born. “Eh” creates a
Duffy employs synaesthesia rather conversational tone.
by blending smell and sight,
and this may be Duffy till I see you, ​clear as scent​, under the tree,
reflecting on her first Referring to her mother as
memories of her mother, “sweetheart” is rather
with its lights, and whose small bites on your neck, ​sweetheart​?
though it is vague and patronising, and perhaps
unclear as to whether this is demonstrates a reversal in
roles.

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 a fictional or concrete
memory.

The religious suggestions of Cha cha cha​!​ You'd teach me the steps on the way home from ​Mass​, Contrasts with the “right path”
“mass” contrast with the from the second stanza, which
behaviour described of her suggests Duffy thinks her
stamping stars from the ​wrong pavement​. Even then
mother in earlier stanzas, mother made the wrong
which may be Duffy choice in having a child.
suggesting a level of I wanted the bold girl winking in Portobello, somewhere
hypocrisy in her mother’s
actions. On the other hand, Very positive and jovial verbs,
Duffy’s theme of admiration in Scotland, before I was born. That glamorous love lasts written in present tense, to
is clear as she attentively highlight the change in
recalls her childhood in a behaviour and lifestyle her
positive light, demonstrated where you ​sparkle and waltz and laugh​ before you were mine. mother experienced after
by the use of exclamatory having Carol as a child.
punctuation.

The title “Before You Were Mine”

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Perspective

The speaker is a child who is reflecting on the changes her mother had to make in her life before
she was born. There is also an element of the ​mother’s voice​ throughout the poem.

The poem is ​semi-autobiographical​, so the ​speaker​ in this case could be seen as Duffy
addressing to her mother. A mix of ​first and second person narrative​ is used in the poem, which
has the effect of creating a ​personal and intimate tone​ to reflect the relationship. It also ensures
the reader is engaged.

The opening

I'm ​ten years away​ from the ​corner​ you laugh on

with​ your pals​, Maggie McGeeney and Jean Duff.
The three of you bend from the waist, holding
each other, or your knees, and ​shriek at the pavement​.
Your polka-dot dress blows round your legs. ​Marilyn​.

The poem opens on a focus on time - ​“ten years away”​ ​- which immediately suggests to the
reader that the poem will be centered around reflection.
● This use of ​specific temporal deixis​ - which refers to events moving away - emphasises
the importance that Carol Ann Duffy feels the connection between herself and her mother
has on her life.
● The time reference shows how the speaker didn’t exist when the picture was taken.

The separation between the address ​“you”​ and ​“I”

highlights the distance between the two individuals. The
noun​ ​“Corner” ​may symbolise that the mother is in a liminal
state between childhood and adulthood, but isn’t ready to get
older yet.

On the other hand, the relaxed, informal tone of ​“pals”

suggests she is comfortable about her mother and they have
an intimate bond.

The ​verb​ ​“shriek”​ suggests a very jovial and playful image, and Duffy may be mulling over the
carefree life her mother was able to live before her birth. This is in contrast to the pressures placed
on mothers in the socially strict 1950s.

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Her mother has no need at this point to consider the future, she is simply living in the moment.

➔ This introduces the theme of ​freedom and independence​ which comes before women
give birth and have the ​societal pressures of being a mother.
➔ Duffy may be commenting on the unfair discrepancies in expectations between mothers
and fathers when they have a child.
➔ Including this in the opening sets up the theme of social commentary initially as a theme for
the poem.

Duffy goes on to compare the image of her mother to the famous actress ​Marilyn Monroe​, and
this is enclosed in a ​single word sentence​ to really emphasise a separation between her mother
in the past and then during Duffy’s childhood. Monroe commited suicide, so potentially this
reference could reflect the unhappiness which was associated with Duffy’s birth ten years later.
Monroe was iconic and a symbol of glamour, and female sexuality is intrinsically linked to a
woman’s individual freedom.

By including this vast quantity of imagery and information right in the first stanza, Duffy is creating a
vivid setting to mirror the visual image of the photo the poem is inspired by, as well as working to
engage the reader.

Language

Vivid imagery
Duffy uses a range of ​visual imagery​, much of which will appeal to the reader’s sense of sight,
including the lines:

high-heeled ​red​ shoes

ballroom with the ​thousand eyes
polka-dot​ dress blows round your legs

By referencing the patterns and colours of ​“red”​ ​and ​“polka-dot”​, Duffy is providing layers of
description behind the photo she is basing the poem off of. The colour ​“red”​ c​ onnotes passion and
beauty. The ​hyperbolic​ description ​“thousand eyes”​ suggests she has a lot of pride for her
mother and thinks that other people are fascinated by her as well.

The ​verbs​ ​“shriek” ​and ​“laugh”​ ​which describe noises suggest that Duffy’s bond with her mother
is so strong she can imagine the auditory accompaniments to the photo. This creates a more vivid
setting for the poem with this mild ​synesthesia​.

SYNESTHESIA​ | Technique where the poet uses two or

more senses to create a vivid tone or setting for the
reader of the poem.

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Colloquial language
Duffy uses a lot of ​colloquial language​, such as ​“pals”​ to demonstrate the close mother-daughter
bond she experienced with her mother. However, this ​juxtaposes​ with the formality of ​“mother”​,
which still implies there is an air of distance or perhaps a more traditional upbringing. This could
reflect both Duffy’s ​Catholic upbringing​ and the tight social expectations surrounding mothers
and children in the 1950s.

JUXTAPOSITION​ | Comparing two concepts,

characters, or clauses, in close proximity in a passage
for the effect of contrast.

Possessive language
The ​possessive language​ used in the title - such as​ ​“mine”​ -​ instantly sets up an ​assertive​ ​tone
for the poem. It juxtaposes with the vague premise of a title, and the fictionalised series of events
which Duffy imagines from the photo she sees of her mother.

Religious connotations
The​ religious connotations​ of ​“Mass”​ ​and her mother as a
Roman Catholic creates conflict with the carefree and
sexualised images of her earlier in the poem. This reference
may be to emphasise the environment of responsibility and
lack of freedom her mother is trying to break free from, but is
eventually forced to return to after becoming a mother.

Structure

Separated pronouns
The first three stanzas describe the mother and the poet as separate
entities. The ​separated pronouns​ ​“I” ​and ​“you”​ are still utilised to
highlight the distance between them generationally but also emotionally.

However, they come together in the final stanza as Duffy describes the
activities and behaviour they’d have together, such as ​“you’d teach me
the steps”.​

Simple sentence structure

As this is a poem from the perspective of a child, Duffy uses very short,
simple, sentence formats. This contrasts with the often​ polysyllabic
language​, which reflects that she is talking about her childhood but through an adult lens.

Stable stanza structure

The ​structure​ is very uniform and has ​four stanzas of five equal lines​. This may reflect the initial
structure of her mother’s life before coming a mother, contrasting it with the flexibility and sacrifice

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she had to make after giving birth. It could also
represent the intensely ​strong social conventions
in place for women during the 1950s. An alternative
interpretation is that the stable structure mirrors a
photo album.

Caesura
By using a lot of ​caesura​, Duffy is creating a
conversational tone to the poem, which suggests
familiarity and a level of comfort in her bond with her
mother, especially considering her mother was still
alive when the poem was published.

Enaleptic frames
The narrative uses enaleptic frames where the reader is provided with a range of ​flashbacks​ to
both Duffy’s childhood and her mother’s early adulthood.

ENALEPTIC FRAMES​ | Technique where the poet uses

stories written within stories, such as using flashbacks.

Comparisons

Before You Were Mine Porphyria’s Lover

“red shoes” “yellow hair”
“shriek” “murmuring”
“polka-dot dress” “dripping cloak and shawl”
Both poets focus on the women’s clothing, but in PL it’s to suggest a farcarde, whereas it’s
to enhance her mother’s personality in BYWM.

Before You Were Mine & Mother, Any Distance

Similarities ● Both written directed towards the speaker’s mother

● Brought up a relatively similar time, in the mid 1900s.
● Colloquial language - ​“back to // base”​ and ​“pals”​ - is employed in both
poems.

Differences ● MAD is situated in one main timeframe, however BYWM flits between
flashbacks through the use of ​enaleptic frames.
● Whereas MAD focuses on the changing relationship between mother and
child, BYWM only introduces the mother / child relationship at one point in
one time, so we don’t get that changing perspective. In BYWM, the change
is displayed in how the mother adapts from before being a mother after
giving birth, and the impact this has on her life.
● MAD is structured more flexibly and fluidly than BYWM, which could reflect

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 the changing familial relationship.
● MAD doesn’t include religious reference, whereas BYWM does.

Before You Were Mine & Eden Rock

Similarities ● Both poets present speakers who have fond memories of their parents, and
speak with a tone that suggests that love transcends the death of a loved
one.
● Both can be viewed as ​semi-autobiographical ​poems, if we examine the
similarities between the authorial context of the poem and the poem’s
content.
● Both connote the afterlife - in BYWM, Duffy mentions her mother's ​“ghost”
(though this could be a reflection of who she was before she had a child)
and Eden Rock seems to use the ​“drifted stream” ​as a metaphor for the
river Styx and ​“crossing is not as hard as you might think” ​as passing
through to the afterlife.

Differences ● ER’s speaker discusses a memory in the present tense, from the
perspective of still being in childhood, however BYWM flits between
different frames of memory, and goes beyond the speaker’s childhood
memories.
● Duffy’s speaker addresses her mother directly, using the pronouns ​“you”
and ​“your”​, which may show more intimacy than Causley’s speaker, who
refers to his parents as ​“they”​, which implies that there is more distance
between them.

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