A.Y.

2022-2023,
G11 COMPLIANT

PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT
TEXTBOOK GRADE 11

ANDRIA AMOURE C. ESPEJO

No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any

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Any copy of this book without the signature of the author is considered from
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the same.
 PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT

Dear Student/Reader:

This textbook on personal development is specifically designed to

cater to the demands of life-skills courses for senior high school
students like you in order to improve your functional efficiency
while you are at your most accommodating age.

This book is aimed at the promotion of strategies for effective

personality development. The rationale behind this endeavor is the
recognition of the multifaceted influence of your genetic,
environmental and personal choice in the development of who you
are.

The objective of the subject is to bring about personality

development by starting with:

 Knowing who you are

 Promote mental health awareness

 Understanding the significant people around you

This book includes fun creative activities or intermissions

addressing each concern in your adolescent life.

For stronger personal impact, it is therefore encouraged that you go

through each reflection, activity, and sharing and participate in
every lecture organized for you by your teacher/facilitator to help
reveal and articulate relevant concepts, theories, and tools in
different areas of your development.

Enjoy your journey and may your internal force lead you to a more
fulfilling and contented life!

-Author

i
 FOREWORD

Welcome to a World You Truly Know!

Welcome to YOURSELF!

This textbook guide will direct you to certain paths not trudge
typically in schools. By knowing yourself more. After going
through each activity, be ready to see soft skills developing in you
like self-awareness and identity, developed talents and potential,
building human capital and facilitating employability, enhancing
the quality of life, and contributing to the realization of your
dreams and aspirations.

It is hoped that this course will make senior high school students
aware of the developmental stage that they are in, to better
understand themselves and the significant people around them as
they make important career decisions as adolescents. The course
consists of modules, each of which addresses a key concept in
personal development. Using the experiential learning approach,
we invite you dear student to explore specific themes in your
development.

This module will not be limited to self-help, the concept involves

formal and informal activities for you as facilitated by your teacher,
counselor, manager, life coach, or mentor.

The author hopes that in the process of understanding and

developing yourself through this module, you, dear students will
achieve your fullest potential. Personal development is a vital part
of a person's growth, maturity, success, and fulfillment.

ii
 TABLE OF CONTENTS

PAGE
LETTER TO STUDENTS i
FOREWORD ii

QUARTER 1
UNIT 1 SELF DEVELOPMENT
LESSON 1: Knowing Oneself 2
LESSON 2: Human Development 7
LESSON 3: Development Tasks and
Challenges Experienced During 13
Adolescence

QUARTER 2
UNIT 2 BUILDING MENTAL
WELLNESS AND ESTABLISHING
RELATIONSHIP
LESSON 4: Mental Health and Stress 18
(How to Cope with it?)
LESSON 5: Personal Relationship 23

NOTE TO STUDENTS 28

iii
 QUARTER 1
SELF
DEVELOPMENT

1 １
LESSON # 1: KNOWING ONESELF
CREATIVE INTERMISSION: WISDOM IN A
FISHBOWL

The entire class will be divided into 3 groups. The

teacher/facilitator will ask one representative from each group to
pick one quote in the fishbowl and each group will be given 10
minutes to brainstorm what the quotation means to all of you and
whether the members agree with it or not.

After the time allotted, big group discussion follows:

Group Number 1: "Knowing others is intelligence, knowing

yourself is true wisdom; Mastering others is strength, mastering
yourself is power." -Lao-tzu, Tao te Ching

Group Number 2: "Knowing yourself is the beginning of all

wisdom."
-Aristotle

Group Number 3: “When you know yourself you are empowered;

when you accept yourself you are invincible" - Tina Lifford

Important Notes About Knowing Who You Are:

Life is simply the process, or journey, of knowing yourself

Personal development, also known as self-development, refers to

the practice of improving oneself through intentional and
continuous efforts. It involves taking conscious steps to enhance
one's physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual well-being.
Personal development is a lifelong journey that requires a
commitment to personal growth and self-awareness.

Self, in psychological terms, refers to the individual's sense of

identity, consciousness, and personality. It is the core of an
individual's being, which is distinct from others.

Self-concept, on the other hand, refers to an individual's

perception and understanding of oneself, including one's abilities,
traits, and values. It is shaped by various factors such as
experiences, social interactions, and personal beliefs.

２
- Self-image refers to an individual's mental and emotional
perception of themselves, including their physical appearance,
personality, and abilities.

- Self-esteem is an individual's overall evaluation and perception

of their worth and value, which can be influenced by their self-
image, social interactions, and experiences.

- Ideal self refers to an individual's perception of their ideal or

perfect self, which may differ from their actual self and can serve
as a motivator for personal growth and development.

2 BROAD CATEGORIES OF SELF CONCEPT

1. Actual self: It refers to an individual's perception of their

current qualities, abilities, and characteristics. For example, a
person may view themselves as introverted, athletic, and creative
based on their current traits and behaviors.

2. Ideal self: It refers to an individual's perception of their perfect

or ideal self, which may differ from their actual self. For example,
a person may view their ideal self as confident, outgoing, and
successful, even if they currently struggle with self-esteem or
shyness.

 Social self: It refers to an individual's perception of themselves

in relation to others and their social roles. For example, a
person may view themselves as a responsible parent, a loyal
friend, or a respected community member.

 Ideal social self: It refers to an individual's perception of their

ideal or perfect social image or status. For example, a person
may view their ideal social self as popular, well-liked, and
influential, even if they currently struggle with social anxiety or
insecurity.

 Expected self: It refers to an individual's perception of

themselves based on others' expectations or societal norms. For
example, a person may feel pressure to pursue a certain career
or lifestyle due to their family's expectations or cultural norms,
even if it does not align with their personal interests or values.

３
 TYPES OF SELF ESTEEM

1. Positive self-esteem: It refers to an individual's overall positive

evaluation and perception of themselves, which can lead to
confidence, resilience, and healthy relationships. For example, a
person with positive self-esteem may feel proud of their
accomplishments, comfortable with their flaws, and assertive in
social situations.

2. Negative self-esteem: It refers to an individual's overall

negative evaluation and perception of themselves, which can lead
to self-doubt, anxiety, and poor relationships. For example, a
person with negative self-esteem may feel ashamed of their flaws,
fear rejection in social situations, and struggle to accept
compliments or praise.

3. High self-esteem: It refers to an individual's overall positive and

realistic evaluation and perception of themselves, which is based
on their accomplishments, strengths, and values. For example, a
person with high self-esteem may feel confident in their abilities,
but also acknowledge their limitations and work to improve
themselves. High self-esteem is associated with better mental
health, resilience, and success in various areas of life.

CATEGORIES OF SELF (DAN MCADAMS)

Dan McAdams identified three categories of self:

1. Social Actor: It refers to the self that interacts with others in

social situations, and is shaped by social roles, norms, and
expectations. For example, a person may behave differently as a
parent, friend, or employee, depending on the context and social
expectations.

2. Motivated Agent: It refers to the self that strives for goals,

values, and desires, and is driven by motivations such as
achievement, power, and affiliation. For example, a person may be
motivated to excel in their career, build meaningful relationships,
or make a positive impact in the world.

４
3. Autobiographical Author: It refers to the self that constructs a
personal narrative and makes sense of past experiences, present
situations, and future goals. For example, a person may create a
narrative of their life as a journey of self-discovery, with certain
turning points, challenges, and achievements that shape their
identity and sense of purpose.

Sigmund Freud'S Psychoanalytic Theory

This thoery suggests that human behavior is influenced by

unconscious desires and conflicts that originate in childhood
experiences. Freud proposed three components of the psyche: the
id (primitive instincts), ego (rational thought), and superego
(internalized moral standards).

For example, a person who struggles with overeating may have an

unconscious desire to satisfy their oral needs (id), but also feel
guilty or ashamed (superego) for not adhering to societal norms of
body image. The ego tries to balance these conflicting forces by
using defense mechanisms such as repression, denial, or projection.
Psychoanalytic therapy aims to bring these unconscious conflicts
to conscious awareness and resolve them through interpretation
and analysis.

５
Personal development starts with self-awareness, which involves
gaining a deep understanding of oneself, including one's strengths,
weaknesses, and aspirations. It is through this process of self-
reflection that individuals can identify areas for growth and
development.

Developing a positive self-concept and belief in one's abilities is

also crucial in personal development. By cultivating a growth
mindset and adopting a proactive approach to personal growth,
individuals can achieve their goals and unlock their full potential.

To know yourself, we will journey together in:

 Being aware of your strengths, weaknesses, likes and dislikes.

 Observing and being aware of your moods, reactions and responses to
what is happening around you.
 Become aware of how these moods and emotions affect your state of
mind.
 Examine how you interact with others.
 Observe how your environment affects you.

References: Web- Article-Self and Identity across the Life Span - McAdams - 2010
https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/1745691612464657
McMahon, D. M., & Pursell, C. R. (2017). Mindfulness and self-compassion as tools to
enhance self-development: An integrative review. Journal of Counseling &
Development, 95(3), 269-278. doi: 10.1002/jcad.12146

６
LESSON # 2: HUMAN DEVELOPMENT
Creative Intermission:

Bring 1 picture of you in the following ages:

 Infancy
 Babyhood
 Childhood
 Adolescent

Make a collage out of these pictures and describe how you changed
overtime. What changes did you observed specifically on:

 Your body
 Your feelings and emotions
 Your socialization with other people
 Your beliefs, thoughts and cognition Your spiritual core
values/beliefs

Group Sharing follows.

Different Aspects of Development

The many changes experienced by an adolescent can be grouped

into five major categories:
 Physical
 Cognitive
 Emotional
 Social
 Behavioral

A. Physical Development

1. Growth Growth, refers to the physical changes in size,

shape, and mass of an organism over time.

2. Development, on the other hand, refers to the

progressive and orderly changes in structures, functions,
abilities, and behaviors that occur throughout an organism's
lifespan.

For example, a child may experience growth spurts during

adolescence that result in increased height and weight, but
they also undergo developmental changes such as
developing cognitive abilities, social skills, and emotional
regulation.

７
Similarly, a plant may grow taller and wider, but it also
undergoes developmental changes such as producing
flowers, fruits, and seeds that enable reproduction. Growth is
a more narrow concept that focuses on quantitative changes
in size and mass, while development is a broader concept
that encompasses qualitative changes in structure, function,
and behavior.

 Adolescents experience a growth spurt, which involves rapid

growth of bones and muscles. This begins in girls around the ages
of 9-12 and in boys around the ages of 11-14. Sexual maturation
(puberty) also begins at this time During puberty, most
adolescents will experience:

 Oilier skin and some acne

 Increased sweating especially under arms
 Growth of pubic and underarm hair, and facial and chest hair in
boys
 Changes in body proportions
 Masturbation and fantasies about sexual intimacy
 In boys, enlargement of testicles, erections, first ejaculation,
wet dreams, deepening voice
 In girls, breast budding, increased vaginal lubrication and the
beginning of the Menstrual cycle.

 Lev Vygotsky's study in physical development

emphasizes the role of social interactions and cultural factors in
shaping cognitive development.

Vygotsky's sociocultural theory suggests that learning occurs

through interactions with more knowledgeable others, and that the
development of higher mental functions such as language, memory,
and problem-solving is closely linked to cultural tools such as
symbols, language, and technology.

For example, a child who grows up in a culture that values

education and encourages social interactions may develop stronger
cognitive skills and problem-solving abilities than a child who
grows up in isolation or neglect.

Vygotsky's concept of the zone of proximal development

highlights the importance of challenging but achievable tasks that
require the guidance and support of a more skilled teacher or peer.
By scaffolding learning experiences and providing appropriate
feedback, the teacher can help the student gradually develop their
cognitive abilities and reach their full potential.

８
B. Cognitive Development
A dramatic shift in thinking from concrete to abstract gives
adolescents a whole new set of mental tools. They are now able to
analyze situations logically in terms of cause and effect. They can
appreciate hypothetical situations.

This gives them the ability to think about the future, evaluate
alternatives, and set personal goals. They can engage in
introspection and mature decision-making.

 As a result of their growing cognitive abilities, most developing

adolescents will:

 Become more independent.

 Take on increased responsibilities, such as babysitting, summer
jobs, or household chores.
 Shift their school focus from play-centered activities to
academics. .
 Begin to consider future careers and occupations. Look to peers
and media for information and advice.
 Begin to develop a social conscience: becoming concerned
about social issues such as racism, global warming and poverty.
 Develop a sense of values and ethical behavior. recognizing the
value of traits such as honesty, helpfulness, caring for others.

 Jean Piaget's theory of cognitive development focuses on

the stages of mental growth that occur from infancy to
adolescence. Piaget believed that children actively construct
their understanding of the world through interaction with their
environment, and that cognitive development progresses
through four stages: sensorimotor, preoperational, concrete
operational, and formal operational.

For example, a child in the sensorimotor stage may learn about

objects by touching, tasting, and manipulating them, while a child
in the preoperational stage may develop the ability to use symbols
and engage in pretend play. A child in the concrete operational
stage may begin to understand concepts such as conservation and
reversibility, while a child in the formal operational stage may
develop abstract reasoning and hypothetical thinking.

Piaget's theory emphasizes the importance of active engagement

with the environment, as well as the role of maturation and
experience in shaping cognitive development.

９
C.Emotional Development
Adolescents are faced with the large task of establishing a sense of
identity. The new cognitive skills of maturing adolescents give
them the ability to reflect on who they are and what makes them
unique. Identity is made up of two components (American
Psychological Association, 2002):

Self-concept- The set of beliefs about oneself, including attributes,

roles, goals, interests. values and religious or political beliefs

Self-esteem- How one feels about one's self-concept

 The process of developing a sense of identity involves

experimenting with different ways of appearing, sounding and
behaving. Each adolescent will approach this exploration in his
or her own unique way. Adolescents must also develop
relationship skills that allow them to get along well with others
and to make friends.

 The specific skills that they need to master as part of their

emotional development include:

 Recognizing and managing emotions.

 Developing empathy.
 Learning to resolve conflict constructively.
 Developing a cooperative spirit.

D.Social Development The social development of

adolescents takes place in the context of all their relationships,
particularly those with their peers and families. Key features of
adolescent social development are summarized in Table 6 (American
Psycholo
gical
Associati
on, 2002):

１０
One of the greatest social changes for adolescents is the new
importance of their peers. This change allows them to gain
independence from their families. By identifying with peers,
adolescents start to develop moral judgment and values, and to
explore how they differ from their parents (American
Psychological Association, 2002).

Young adolescents are very concerned with being accepted by a

peer group. This great desire to belong can influence some to
engage in activities that they normally would not consider.

By middle adolescence, the intensity of involvement with a peer

group gives way to more intimate friendships and romances. Peer
groups may remain important longer for adolescents belonging to
ethnic minority groups. For these teens, peer groups provide a
much-needed sense of belonging within the majority culture
(American Psychological Association, 2002).

The relationship between adolescents and their parents is changed

by the adolescent's social development. However, the shift in the
adolescent's social world from family to peers does not lessen the
importance of the family in the adolescent's life. Family closeness
has been confirmed as the most important protective factor against
certain high-risk behaviors such as smoking, alcohol and drug use,
and early initiation of sexual intercourse (Resnick, Bearman &
Blum, et. Al. 1997).

E.Behavioral Development

All of the developmental changes that adolescents experience

prepare them to experiment with new behaviors. This
experimentation results in risk-taking, which is a normal part of
adolescent development (Dryfoes. 1998; Hamburg, 1997; Roth &
Brooks-Gunn, 2000). Engaging in risk-taking behavior helps
adolescents to:

 Shape their identities.

 Try out their new decision-making skills.
 Develop realistic assessments of them.
 Gain peer acceptance and respect. (Ponton, 1997, Jessor, 1991)

１１
On the other hand, Human development is influenced by a
combination of heredity, maturation, and environment. Heredity
plays a role in determining physical traits and predispositions to
certain diseases and disorders. Maturation refers to the natural
biological process of development, while environment
encompasses all external factors such as social interactions, culture,
and nutrition that can affect development.

For example, a child may inherit genes for certain physical

characteristics such as eye color or height, as well as genetic
predispositions to health issues like diabetes or heart disease.
Maturation processes such as brain development and hormonal
changes can also impact development. Environmental factors such
as access to healthcare, nutrition, and education can have
significant impacts on development, as can social factors such as
family relationships, peer interactions, and cultural values.

Furthermore, Abraham Maslow's Holistic Dynamic Theory

proposes that human needs are arranged in a hierarchical order,
with basic physiological and safety needs at the bottom, followed
by needs for love/belonging, esteem, and self-actualization at the
top.

Maslow believed that individuals must first satisfy lower level

needs before they can progress to higher levels of need fulfillment.
For example, a person who is hungry and does not have a safe
place to sleep will be primarily motivated to satisfy their basic
physiological and safety needs before focusing on other needs such
as relationships or personal growth.

References: http://recapp.etr.org/recapp/index.cfm?fuseaction=pages
TheoriesDetail&PageID=336
American Psychological Association, 2002 Journal

１２
LESSON #3: Development Tasks and Challenges
Experienced During Adolescence
Creative Intermission:
Find a group you are comfortable working with. Interview at least
three (3) teens from the age categories below and ask them to
describe the changes they observe from their bodies, their beliefs
and how they think, how they socialize with peers and their major
emotions.

Report your findings in the class.

Age Categories:

 Early adolescence: ages 9-13

 Middle adolescence: ages 14-16, and
 Late adolescence: ages 17-19

A. PHYSICAL CHANGES DURING ADOLESCENCE

Girls can begin experiencing physical changes associated with

puberty around the age of 10 or 11, though it can occur earlier or
later. These changes can include breast development, pubic hair
growth, and the onset of menstruation. The timing and pace of
these changes can vary widely between individuals.

Boys typically begin experiencing physical changes associated

with puberty around the age of 11 or 12, but it can occur earlier or
later. These changes can include testicular and penis growth,
pubic hair growth, and voice deepening. The timing and pace of
these changes can vary widely between individuals.

Many adolescents succumb to pressures on how they look, feel and

act in a society obsessed with people’s appearances with the desire
for immediate gratification. Body Image Concerns refer to an
individual's thoughts, feelings, and perceptions about their own
body and appearance. These concerns can range from mild
dissatisfaction to severe distress and can lead to negative mental
health outcomes such as depression and anxiety.

Examples of body image concerns include feeling self-conscious

about weight or physical features, comparing oneself to others, and

１３
engaging in harmful behaviors such as disordered eating or
excessive exercise.

Nutrition, Health and Hygiene: During adolescence, there is a

significant increase in nutritional requirements to support rapid
physical growth and development. Factors such as age, gender,
pregnancy, and physical activity level can all impact an
individual's nutritional needs. For example, adolescent girls
require more nutrients such as iron and iodine than boys due to
factors such as menstruation.

Additionally, heavy physical activities such as sports may also

increase nutritional needs to support energy demands and muscle
growth. It is important to maintain a balanced diet and good
hygiene practices during this period to support overall health and
well-being.

Improving the Nutrition of Adolescents, involves recognizing

their increased nutritional needs, providing nutritional education to
promote healthy eating habits, controlling excessive intake of
unhealthy foods, and encouraging regular physical exercise.
Adolescents should also be encouraged to consume breakfast
regularly, minimize sweets and junk food snacks, and use sugar
replacements if prone to obesity. Thus, it is important to ensure
that meat and poultry products are well-cooked and clean to
prevent food-borne illnesses.

Youth today face a number of pressing Health Concerns such as:

Obesity is a major health concern among adolescents due to
excessive intake of high-calorie food and lack of physical activity,
leading to various health problems such as diabetes, heart disease,
and joint problems. Anemia is prevalent among adolescent girls
due to menstruation and poor nutrition, causing fatigue, weakness,
and decreased cognitive function. Iodine deficiency affects the
cognitive development of adolescents, causing goiter and
impairing mental function. Adolescent's dental hygiene is also a
concern due to poor oral hygiene habits that can lead to tooth
decay, gum disease, and bad breath. Depression, the feeling of
being drowned in sadness, moodiness, or disappointment. A lethal
Mental Health case.

Adolescents should practice good personal hygiene habits such as

daily bathing or showering, wearing clean clothes, brushing teeth
twice a day, and washing hands frequently.

１４
They should also learn to take care of their hair, including
shampooing and brushing it regularly, and to practice proper
skincare such as washing their face to prevent acne.

Additionally, adolescents should pay attention to their body odor

and use deodorant or antiperspirant as needed to stay fresh and
clean.

B. EVALUATION OF AN ADOLESCENT'S
DEVELOPMENT THROUGH THE SIGNIFICANT
PEOPLE IN THEIR LIVES

As adolescents become more emotionally mature, they turn to their

peers for emotional support, rather than their families. However,
family still plays an important role in their lives, as they begin to
question and form their own identities. Parents continue to have a
vital role in their teenager's life, but must be flexible and adapt to
their changing needs. For example, a teenager may turn to their
friends for advice on romantic relationships, but still seek comfort
and guidance from their parents when facing a difficult decision.

PEERS
As teens' emotional maturity increases, their relationships with their
peers change as they become more vulnerable and emotionally intimate.
Teens turn to their friends for help; instead of their families as the first
line of support during times of worry or upset.

FAMILY
Developmental theories view adolescence as a period of growth in
which identity formation is addressed. This view means that the
family's role is lessened or that family has only a limited role in the
lives of young people at this time.

Family is still important. It is typical for young people to begin to think

for themselves and question aspects of their lives and family
relationships.

PARENTS
A parent's relationship and caring role with a young person continues to
be vital, although the relationship will need to be flexible to adapt to
the teenager's changing needs.

１５
 Here are the 8 simple rules that can help teenagers become
responsible adolescents prepared for adult life:

1. Concentrate on your studies and excel in your pursuits. For

instance, study hard, complete your assignments, and attend
classes regularly.

2. Take care of your health and hygiene by maintaining a

healthy diet, staying active, and regularly washing your hands and
body.

3. Establish a good relationship with your parents or guardians

by communicating effectively and listening to their advice. For
example, ask for their input on important decisions and
communicate respectfully.

4. Before acting, think carefully about the potential outcomes.

Practice self-control and self-discipline by considering the possible
consequences of your actions.

5. Choose to do the right thing, even when it's challenging. Use

your mind instead of your emotions to make difficult decisions.

6. Resist the temptation to engage in negative behavior and

commit to being a responsible adolescent. For example, avoid
underage drinking and drug use.

7. Respect yourself as a developing adult and avoid letting your

teenage hormones control your behavior. When you respect
yourself, others will also respect you.

8. Accept responsibility for your actions and behavior, which is

a crucial part of becoming an adult. For example, take
accountability for missed deadlines or poor grades in school.

１６
 Reference:http://recapp.etr.org/recapp/index.cfm?fuseaction=pages.ojse
TheoriesDetail&PageID=317#keyFeatures ve
http://www.upstate.edu/gch/services/adolescent/about_adolescence.php

QUARTER 2
BUILDING MENTAL WELLNESS
AND
ESTABLISHING RELATIONSHIP

１７
LESSON # 4: MENTAL HEALTH AND STRESS
(How to Cope with ‘it’?)

Creative Intermission:

Your class should make a large mural where all the students are
allowed to write down all their stresses. No limitation is set on the
number of stresses per student Everybody can write as many
stressors as they can. After which, appointed students can look into
the large mural and list down the top ten stresses adolescents face
in their life now.

MENTAL HEALTH DISORDERS AND THEIR CAUSES:

Mental health disorders or issues can significantly impact a

person's daily life, relationships, and overall well-being. Treatment
options may include therapy, medication, and lifestyle changes to
manage symptoms and promote overall mental health. Here are
some mental health issues that was proven to be the leading cause
of morbidity and mortality among young people:

Depression is a mental health

disorder that causes persistent
sadness, hopelessness, and a lack
of interest in life. It can be caused
by various factors, including
genetics, life events, and chemical
imbalances in the brain.

Eating disorders, such as anorexia

and bulimia nervosa, involve
distorted body image and an unhealthy relationship with food.
They can be caused by a combination of genetic,
environmental,and psychological factors.

Anxiety is a mental health disorder that causes excessive worry

and fear, often about everyday situations. There are various types
of anxiety, including generalized anxiety disorder, social anxiety
disorder, and panic disorder. It can be caused by genetics, brain
chemistry, and life events.

１８
Types of Anxiety: Separation Anxiety Disorder, Generalized
Anxiety Disorder (GAD), Obsessive Compulsive Disoreder, Panic
Disorder, and Post- Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

Special Note about Coping with Stress in Adolescents

Stress in teenagers is pretty common, so recognizing stress and

learning how to reduce stress are important life skills for teenagers.

Stress in teenagers: what is it?

Stress in teenagers - and anyone - is not necessarily a bad thing.

Stress is the way your body responds to challenges and gets you
ready to face them with attention, energy and strength. Stress gets
you ready for action. When you feel you can cope with these
challenges, stress gives you the motivation to get things done. But
there can be problems when your stress is greater than your ability
to cope.

Signs of stress in teenagers

Signs of stress in teenagers can show up in their behavior,

emotions, body and thinking. Changes in behavior might include:

 Withdrawing from friendship groups or activities she usually

enjoys seeming nervous or anxious

 Sleeping too little or too much eating more 'comfort food'

eating less
 Refusing to go to school
 Being aggressive
 Going down in schoolwork
or results not caring about
appearance
 Wanting to be by herself
more than usual
 Crying
 Having emotional 'ups and downs' for no obvious reason
 Having less energy than usual
 Drinking more caffeine products or taking over-the-counter
painkillers - for example, paracetamol, codeine or ibuprofen

１９
 Behaving differently in relationship with parents - for example,
suddenly not talking to you.

 People might also see some changes in your emotions, such as:

Being cranky or moody, feeling sad, down or hopeless, feeling

worthless, finding it hard to relax or switch off, getting more angry
more than usual feeling that 'nothing is going right, and feeling on
an 'emotional roller-coaster ride'.

 Sometimes physical signs of stress also comes out:

Feeling sick-for example, headaches, shoulder pain, stomach aches,

jaw pain, not being hungry, feels more tired than usual, even if
she's getting enough sleep, losing or gaining weight getting
frequent colds or infections, having panic attacks, dizzy spells, fast
breathing or pins and needles, and having changes during period.

Finally stress can affect the thinking:

Finding it hard to concentrate and stay focused losing the thread of

thoughts or conversations, having trouble remembering things
making snap decisions or errors in judgment, having trouble
organizing and planning or making decisions, and getting confused
or irrational.

Causes Of Stress In Teenagers

Some of the things that cause stress in teenagers include academic
worries, looking after other family members, friendships, family
conflict, body image, work, bullying. discrimination, alcohol and
other drug use, tension between cultural worlds, high personal
expectations or high expectations from parents, teachers and
friends.

Here are additional suggestions for coping with stress provided

from the APA (2014).

 Get some sleep -Between homework, activities and hanging

with friends, it can be hard to get enough sleep, especially
during the school week. Ideally, adolescents should get nine
hours a night. To maximize your chance of sleeping soundly,
cut back on watching TV or engaging in a lot of screen time in
the late evening hours. Do not drink caffeine late in the day and
try not to do stimulating activities too close to bedtime.

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 Focus on your strengths -Spend some time really thinking
about the things you are good at, and find ways to do more of
those things. If you're a math ace, you might tutor a younger
neighbor who's having trouble with the subject. If you are a
spiritual person, you might volunteer at your church. If you're
artistic, take a photography class. Focusing on your strengths
will help you keep your stresses in perspective.

 Engage in physical activity -Physical activity is one of the

most effective stress busters. That doesn't mean you have to go
for a jog if you hate running. Find activities you enjoy and
build them into your routine such as yoga, hiking, biking,
skateboarding or walking. The best types of physical activities
are those that have a social component. Whether you're into
team sports, or prefer kayaking or rollerblading with a friend or
two, you're more likely to have fun- and keep at it if you're
being active with
friends.

 Do things that make

you happy -Besides
physical activities, find
other hobbies or
activities that bring you
joy. That might be
listening to music,
going to the movies or drawing. Make a point to keep doing
these things even when you're stressed and busy.

 Talk to someone -It's so much easier to manage stress when

you let others lend a hand. Talk to a parent, teacher or other
trusted adult. They may be able to help you find new ways to
manage stress. Or they may help put you in touch with a
psychologist who is trained in helping people make healthy
choices and manage stress.

As we conclude this discussion on mental health and stress, it's

essential to acknowledge that mental health struggles and stress are
a common experience for many people. Whether it's caused by
work pressure, relationship issues, financial difficulties, or any
other life challenge, stress can be overwhelming, and it's crucial to
recognize and address it.

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We must prioritize our mental health and well-being and seek help
when we need it. Mental health is just as important as physical
health, and we must treat it with the same care and attention.

Remember, it's okay not to be okay. Seeking help and support is a

sign of strength, not weakness. Let's continue to have open and
honest conversations about mental health and stress, and work
together to build a healthier and happier world.

Reference: American Psychological Association 2014 Journal

http://www.cmha.ca/mental_health/mental-health-meter/#.VZ3xul
Ud7IU
http://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/bhcv2/bhcarticles.nsf/pages/ten_t
ips_to_stay_mentally_healthy?open

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LESSON #5: PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
Creative Intermission:

In a small group answer and brainstorm on the following:

1. What are some common characteristics of a healthy relationship

and characteristics of an unhealthy relationship?
2. What are the benefits of a healthy relationship?
3. What controllable and uncontrollable factors affect relationships?

Big Group Sharing follows.

Adolescence is a time of dramatic change. With adolescence

comes puberty, expanded cognitive abilities, a new sense of self
and identity, and often new and increased expectations at school
and work. Relationships with parents and peers change too. As
they mature, adolescents' social skills are called upon to form and
maintain relationships.
Fortunately, with these relationships, especially those of high
quality, come beneficial outcomes, such as psychological health,
improved academic performance and success in relationships as
adults. Conversely, the absence of such quality relationships is
associated with negative outcomes, such as delinquency and
psychological problems.

Truly, Personal relationships are an essential part of our lives, and

understanding the science and psychology behind them can help us
build and maintain healthy relationships. From the three stages of
falling in love to the seven types of love, this Chapter has explored
the many facets of personal relationships and provided insights
into how we can create and maintain meaningful connections with
others.

Whether you are looking to strengthen your existing relationships

or build new ones, this can serve as a guide to help you navigate
the complex world of personal relationships.

Personal relationships are connections that we have with other

people, such as family members, friends, and romantic partners.

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These relationships are an essential part of our lives and can bring
us a sense of belonging, love, and support. Here's an example to
help illustrate the importance of personal relationships:

Example: Sarah is a college student who has been feeling

overwhelmed with her coursework and the stresses of college life.
She feels alone and isolated and struggles to cope with her stress
and anxiety. She decides to reach out to her friend Maria, who she
has not spoken to in a while. Maria is happy to hear from Sarah
and invites her over to her house for dinner.

In this example, Sarah's personal relationship with Maria serves as

a source of support and comfort during a difficult time in her life.
By reaching out to Maria, Sarah is able to alleviate her feelings of
isolation and connect with someone who cares about her well-
being. Maria's willingness to invite Sarah over for dinner
demonstrates the importance of building and maintaining healthy
personal relationships. Through her relationship with Maria, Sarah
is able to receive the emotional support and companionship that
she needs to navigate the challenges of college life.

CATEGORIES OF RELATIONSHIPS

Relationships can be categorized into different types based on

the nature of interaction, such as business transactional
relationships for conducting financial deals, professional
relationships for collaborating on work-related projects, family
relationships for sharing genetic ties and close emotional bonds,
friendly relationships for socializing and leisure activities, and
romantic relationships for intimate and emotional connections.

Attraction is driven by
physiology, including
hormones such as
testosterone, estrogen,
dopamine, norepinephrine,
serotonin, oxytocin, and
vasopressin. These hormones affect mood, behavior, and
physiological responses, such as heart rate and blood pressure.

The three stages of falling in love, as proposed by Helen Fisher,

are lust, attraction, and attachment. Lust is driven by sex hormones,
attraction involves neurotransmitters such as dopamine,
norepinephrine, and serotonin, while attachment is associated

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with long-lasting commitments and bonding hormones such as
oxytocin and vasopressin.

Examples of these hormones in action include dopamine being

released when eating food that we crave, norepinephrine
increasing heart rate and blood pressure, serotonin regulating
mood and social behavior, and oxytocin provoking feelings of
contentment, calmness, and security often associated with mate
bonding. Vasopressin is linked to behavior that produces long-
term, monogamous relationships.

 Love and intimacy are interconnected and often used

interchangeably. Love can be defined as a feeling of deep
affection, passion, or strong liking for a person or thing.
Intimacy, on the other hand, refers to a close relationship
characterized by deep knowledge, understanding, and
familiarity between individuals.

7 Types of Love

To give the overriding idea , Love is a complex concept that have

been debated for centuries. Given that there are different types of
love, each with their own unique characteristics. Namely:

Infatuation is characterized by feelings of lust and physical

passion without liking and commitment. Liking involves the
presence of intimacy or liking, but without passion or commitment
in the romantic sense. Empty love is characterized by commitment
without passion or intimacy, and may start out as an arranged
marriage that develops over time. Fatuous love is characterized by
commitment and passion, but without intimacy or liking, and may
be driven by a whirlwind courtship and marriage.

Romantic love involves emotional bonding through intimacy and

physical passion. Partners in this type of relationship have deep
conversations that help them know intimate details about each
other, and enjoy sexual passion and affection. Companionate love
is an intimate, non-passionate type of love that is stronger than
friendship because of the long-term commitment involved.

Consummate love is made up of all

three components - intimacy, passion,
and commitment - and represents an
ideal relationship where couples have
great sex several years into their
relationship, cannot imagine

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themselves with anyone else, and manage to overcome differences
and face stressors together.

Creating Healthy Relationships

Healthy relationships are enjoyable and respectful and provide
opportunities for many positive experiences that affect self-esteem.
Teens can develop healthy relationships with anyone, including
family, friends, and special someone. It takes time, energy, and
care to develop positive, healthy relationships. Relationships made
during the teenage years can become very special and may form an
important part of life.

All healthy relationships between two partners are

characterized by communication, respect, sharing, and trust.
They are based on the belief that both partners are equal and that
decision making in the relationship is shared equally.

In healthy relationships, we must maintain the freedom to be

ourselves. It is important to maintain an individual identity,
regardless of the type of relationship being pursued.

A healthy relationship should be satisfying and promote

individual growth. Establishing mutually acceptable boundaries
based on personal values is important in any relationship.
Romantic partners should never pressure each other to do things
they have agreed not to do. Mutual respect means not only giving
respect to a partner, but also showing respect for oneself.

HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP CHARACTERISTICS

Some important characteristics of a healthy relationship are

identified below.
 Closeness
 You are caring and loyal.
 You trust your partner.
 You share your feelings.
 You support your partner
during illness or during
stressful times.
 Shared Goals and Beliefs
 You share beliefs and
values.

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 You recognize and respect differences in each other.

Shared Experiences

 You share common interests

and friends/acquaintances.
 You talk about your
experiences and accept and
 Respect each other's
individual interests.

Communication

 You are honest with each other.

 You listen to each other.

Respect

 You use respectful language and do not act in ways that demean
your partner
 You understand your partner's wishes and feelings.
 You are ready to compromise to meet your partner halfway

Humour
 You and your partner enjoy being with each other and can
laugh together.

Affection

 You show your partner

you care.
 You show each other
affection in many ways

References; MyLaurier Student Portal. "Healthy Relationships." Student Health and

Development 2007. <www.mylaurier.ca/development/info/Relationships.htm>.
Palo Alto Medical Foundation. "ABCs of a Healthy Relationship." Teen Health Info.
Jan. 2008. <www.pamf.org/teen/abc/> Thompson Rivers University (TRU). "Healthy
Relationships." TRU Wellness Centre. 2009.
<www.tru.ca/wellness/physical/sexualhealth/healthy.html>.
Adams, G. R., Schvaneveldt, J. D., & Jenson, G. O. (1979). Sex, age and
perceived competency as correlates of empathic ability in adolescence.
Adolescence, 14 (56), 811-818
Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love (verywellmind.com)
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 NOTE TO STUDENT/READER

Congratulations! You just finished a special

journey to yourself! It is indeed a rare
opportunity to walk through your
development and your career plans in the
future.

Please remember that you came to this

world with a purpose. I hope your
journey to yourself will help you fill your
life with passion, purpose, love, laughter,
peace and all forms of abundance.

Good luck in your next journey to knowing

the land you know very well-your life!

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