5 Simple Ways to High Self Esteem

By Peter Murphy

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reproduced in any format without the expressed written permission of Peter Murphy. All violators
will be prosecuted.

While attempts have been made to verify information contained in this publication, neither the
author nor the publisher assumes any responsibility for errors, omissions, interpretation or
usage of the subject matter herein.

This publication contains the opinions and ideas of its author and is intended for informational
purposes only. The author and publisher shall in no event be held liable for any loss or other
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Use this information at your own risk.

(C) Copyright 2007 by Peter Murphy support@workwealth.com

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Why is it so Important to Build High Self Esteem?

First of all, we need a practical definition of self esteem…

Self esteem is a subjective appraisal of your intrinsic value as a person. It is not

a fixed valuation of your true worth – you can change the way you think about
your self worth. This is good news because this means you can transform low
self esteem into high self esteem if you know how to change that subjective
appraisal of your value. That is what this special report is all about!

Low self esteem is the silent thief that robs you of success, happiness and
supportive relationships. It can be a pervasive feeling of self-doubt that stops
you from really going for it. When a poor self image dominates your life you may
appear unsure of yourself, serious minded and anxious.

Meeting people can be nerve wracking because you worry about what others
will think of you and this anxiety keeps your true personality hidden from view.
Consequently few people ever get to see the real you and you fear that if you
did show more of your true self that people would not like you. Life appears
difficult, stressful and full of uncertainties that cause you to worry.

When low self esteem gets in the way, you start to doubt your skills and
abilities. Your self-confidence suffers so you avoid challenging goals and settle
for mediocrity even though you know you are capable of much more. You under
achieve in your career because despite your best intentions it seems incredibly
difficult to step up and start living to your full potential. If you ever wonder what
is holding you back from enjoying much more success and happiness it is very
often a poor self image that stops you from being all you can be.

For these reasons it is critically important that we transform low self esteem into
high self esteem as soon as possible. Having high self esteem ensures you will
have a happier life: one with more success, deeper friendships and a pervasive
self-acceptance that is unshakeable. High self esteem will give you an inner
strength you can count on even in the face of setbacks and disappointment –
this ensures you can always bounce back.

High self esteem is characterized by a sense of self assurance that allows you
to boldly move towards your goals secure in the confidence that you will prevail
even in the face of obstacles. You enjoy meeting people and you joyously let
your true personality shine – as a result you are interesting to talk to and people
are keen to get to know you better. Life becomes a joyful adventure.

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Now that we know why it is so important to cultivate high self esteem it is time to
discover several powerful ways to transform low self esteem into high self
esteem.

The Healing Power of Love and Forgiveness

Many of us are punishing ourselves on a daily basis for perceived failings and
oversights we committed in the past. Even though perfection is an
unreasonable standard to judge our behavior against we do so anyway. This
has very negative consequences for our self esteem.

If you habitually measure yourself against a model of perfection you will always
feel that your behavior is inadequate. Live like this for long enough and your self
esteem will take a severe beating. Living with low self esteem then becomes a
habit we slip into without even noticing how it came about.

You can change this by reversing the polarity. Instead of beating yourself up
switch the polarity from negative to positive and look for positives all day long.
The key is to find positive attributes and behaviors to acknowledge and do so in
the moment with emotion.

In the same way you would encourage a child or a good friend who needs
support – look for all the small successes that fill a day and praise yourself in
the moment with enthusiasm and love. Let´s say you park your car and line it up
beautifully outside the store – give yourself enthusiastic praise right in that
moment.

The trick is to spot the many, many little achievements you are responsible for
daily. Don´t wait for your big public success stories – you could be waiting all
year! Start today by noticing all the small things you do well such as showing
kindness to someone who needs a smile, being a good friend at a time of need,
completing a project on time, making a great cup of coffee, going to the gym
because you’re worth it etc.

How do you acknowledge the little successes?

You can do this aloud or quietly inside your mind but make sure to do it with
enthusiasm. As you make a habit of doing this throughout the day you can’t
help but feel much better about yourself. It’s impossible not to boost your self
esteem.

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Now, as you read this you might be thinking this is silly. Listen, what is silly is
beating yourself up every day. People with high self esteem spot all the little
results they achieve and give themselves love and approval all day long. Why?
Because it works!

Talking Mirror Method

As we learned earlier self esteem is a subjective appraisal of intrinsic value. It is

not based on objective reality - it is a product of our imagination. This is good
news because we can change our mind and change our self esteem right now
without having to spend years becoming a millionaire, the best in our
profession, and the ideal parent to our children and so on.

We can cultivate high self esteem today. One of the best ways is to give
ourselves love and forgiveness for no reason whatsoever.

Stand in front of a mirror, look into your eyes and say “I love and accept you
as you are!” Repeat this statement aloud with feeling. Your brain will kick in
after a few minutes to find evidence to support the statement and you’ll start to
feel better and better about yourself.

At first you’ll notice things you do not like about yourself but if you continue to
say “I love and accept you as you are!” The resistance to loving yourself starts
to melt. Those feelings of self acceptance get stronger and stronger until a
small smile becomes a wonderful loving smile staring back at you from the
mirror.

I recommend doing this exercise for at least five minutes to notice the benefits.
However, the results will be much better if you can give yourself up to forty
minutes. Just make sure to do so with strong positive feelings – that is the key.

Then, after you have some experience with this exercise, I suggest you also
work on forgiveness. Use the statement. “I forgive you, you are forgiven!”
Use your name in the statement to give it even more impact e.g. “I forgive you
Peter, you are forgiven Peter!”

The whole point of this exercise is to feel forgiveness, the purpose of the
exercise is not to analyze why or if you should be forgiven. Analysis hasn’t
helped much up to this point in creating high self esteem so give it a rest and
discover the healing power of your positive emotions. Keep your complete
attention on saying the statement with feeling.

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As outlined above, stand in front of a mirror, say the statement aloud with strong
feelings and give it up to forty minutes. You can also do these exercises
whenever you find yourself in front of a mirror during the course of the day.
Take a moment anytime you like to give yourself a self esteem boost.

There is one final point that can help you to feel more of the positive emotions
you want to experience. Hold one or both hands on your heart and feel the
emotion in your heart as you say the statement aloud. This will help you to
connect with the feelings of love and approval.

Warm Sunshine Transformation Process

One of my favorite ways to build high self esteem is actually surprisingly simple
and very, very powerful.

1. Think of someone who loves and appreciates you. Imagine how good it feels
when you meet this person. It helps if you act out the scenario in your mind with
your eyes closed. Hear the opening sentences when you meet, see him in front
of you, hold your hand out and feel the warm, firm handshake.

2. Close your eyes and replay the initial seconds of meeting – that first moment
of recognition as you shake hands or hug when you meet this person. Notice
how happy this person is to meet you – see the love and approval in his eyes at
that very moment when he makes eye contact and recognizes you. See the
warm smile on his face and notice how good it feels to be loved by this person.

3. Breathe in and as you inhale imagine that all of that love and approval from
your friend is absorbing into your body like warm sunshine on a beautiful sunny
day. Allow in those feelings of love and appreciation. Then, exhale and as you
do let those feelings radiate throughout your entire body.

Now, repeat that process until you have observed and allowed in the love of five
good friends or family members. It just takes a few minutes for each scenario
and before you know if you will feel fantastic.

4. Imagine a highly evolved version of you is standing right in front of you. This
is a super version of you who knows how wonderful you are, he loves you more
than words can express. See this super version of you smiling at you with deep
love and appreciation and feel the unconditional love radiating to you like warm
sunshine filling you with a warm glow. See the sparkle in his eyes as he looks at
you with deep appreciation.

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Allow yourself to absorb that positive energy and in your imagination see that
super version of you slowly moving towards you until that super self is inside
you. At this point you will feel lighter, happier and more positive about who you
really are.

Test your work

Do you now feel lighter, happier and more loving towards yourself? You can
expect to. If you do not then repeat the exercise and put more attention on
imagining the experiences to be as real as possible while taking care to
generate strong feelings of love and appreciation.

Do experiment with this exercise. Choose different friends or family members

and specific scenarios that produce a greater sense of feeling loved and cared
for. There will be special moments from the past that make you feel fantastic.
Find those magic memories and tap into that love to boost your self esteem
today!

This simple but powerful exercise can be used daily – it only takes 2-3 minutes
once you have run through it a few times. This is a great way to build solid self
esteem that just gets better and better over time.

Let Go of a Poor Self Image the Easy Way

When it comes down to it, you may blame someone else for your poor self
image. Maybe you blame a parent, a teacher, your peer group or a previous
employer. It is likely you don´t feel responsible for your level of self esteem.

It is important to take responsibility however because we then have the

opportunity to change whatever is bothering us. This new perspective allows us
to change our thoughts, our feelings and our sense of self. The secret is to let
go of those situations from the past that affected your self esteem. You may
recall significant events or maybe a series of minor situations that affected you.
Regardless of what happened, you can let go of those limiting feelings that you
have held onto until now.

How do you let go of limiting feelings?

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Pick a situation from the past that affected your self image. It can be something
that happened a long time ago or as recently as a few days ago. There is no
need to relive the experience simply select one.

Observe how you hold in mind that experience from the past. Notice how you
feel: pay close attention to how you feel in your stomach and chest area. You
may notice tension and a sense of restriction. It helps to pick up on the feelings
if you put your chin to your chest.

As you feel those feelings ask yourself:

Could I hold onto these feelings?

Could I let go of these feelings?

Ask the first question and then the second question. Cycle through these two
questions again and again and notice your feeling response not your thoughts.
Your feeling response is the feeling you sense in your stomach and chest in
response the question – this may be accompanied by a “yes”, “no”, “maybe” or
some other intellectual response from your mind.

As you observe your feeling response you will notice that those feelings of
tension or tightness tend to loosen up. After a matter of minutes the tension in
your stomach and chest will be replaced with a feeling of ease and lightness
while your breathing will be deeper and easier.

When this happens you know you have let go of the limiting feelings from that
experience that affected your self esteem. Depending on the particular
experience this exercise will usually take from only a few minutes up to twenty
minutes. You know the exercise is complete when you feel lighter, happier and
more at peace.

Use this simple process to let go of all the experiences from your past that
dented your self image. And remember, there is no need to relive those
experiences. Simply identify the experience and let go of the attached feelings
directly without analyzing or judging what you did or didn’t do, should have done
or shouldn’t have done.

This process is also useful for letting go of any issues that pop up during the
day. Simply run through the two questions, observe your feeling response and
then let go until you feel lighter, happier and more at peace. In a matter of
minutes you will boost your self esteem and be much more care free.

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Absorbing Love and Approval

This technique is more complex than the other ones we have covered in this
report. I am including it because it works so well. Take your time, follow the
exact instructions below and you will be amazed by the huge improvement you
can make to your self image.

1. Choose someone you love, approve of and respect deeply. This can be a
family member, a friend, a colleague or even a character from a movie. The
important point is to choose someone you have strong feelings of love and
approval for. Use your heart not your head to choose a suitable person for
this exercise.

2. Hold in mind that person and notice how you think about him. Pay
attention to the feelings, images and sounds that come to mind when you
recall how much you love and approve of him. Let the feelings build until it is
almost as if this person is present and the love and approval you are feeling
is overflowing from your heart.

3. In this step we want to notice the details of how we subjectively represent

this person in our mind. i.e. we want to map out the representation systems.

Representation Systems

Whenever we represent experiences either real or imagined in our mind we use

several senses – seeing, hearing, feeling, smelling and tasting. And it is the
manipulation of these modalities, which determine how we feel about our self,
others and any experience.

Remember earlier we learned that self esteem is a subjective appraisal of our

intrinsic value. We can change that subjective appraisal by changing the
modalities or building blocks of how we represent experience. Low self esteem
is represented in the mind in one way while high self esteem is represented in a
different way. Facts and objective reality can stay the same but if we change
that internal reality our self esteem will change in an instant.

Why is this so?

Self esteem is simply a representation of our own value not an objectively

assessed valuation. This is very good news because it means that all we need

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to do to create high self esteem is to create a positive representation of our
subjective valuation. i.e. in your mind see your self as having high self esteem

The three most important modalities to master are the visual, auditory and
kinesthetic ones. We can adjust these elements to transform low self esteem
into high self esteem in a matter of minutes.

In the chart below I introduce the sub modalities of these three modalities:

Visual
Viewpoint Associated Dissociated
Location Up/Down/Left/Right In Front/Behind
Distance Close Far
Brightness Bright Dull
Color Vivid Black & White
Size Large Small
Clarity In Focus Blurred
Angle Frame Panorama
Depth 3D 2D
Duration Short Long
Speed Fast Slow
Movement Movie Slide show

Auditory
Volume Loud Soft
Tone High Low
Distance Close Far away
Location Up/Down/Left/Right In Front/Behind
Type Words Sounds
Clarity Clear Muffled
Speed Fast Slow
Voice Self Others
Quality Stereo Mono
Duration Short Long
Viewpoint Associated Dissociated
Consistency Continuous Interrupted

Kinesthetic
Location External Internal
Size Big Small
Pressure Hard Soft
Intensity Strong Weak
Temperature Hot Cold
Texture Rough Smooth
Movement Yes No
Shape Uniform Irregular

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Now, recall that person you love and appreciate and notice how you represent
that person in your mind i.e. the quality of the image, sound and feelings that
make up the memory you have of that person. Closely observe the sub
modalities, as listed above, in the image of the person you love and appreciate.

As you pay more attention to the sub modalities you will notice that some of
those elements are very important in making the representation come alive. For
most people making the image bigger, closer, colorful and bright makes the
experience more powerful. And for the auditory channel – volume, location and
clarity are key factors. While for the kinesthetic information – location, intensity
and texture are important.

4. Next, we will use these special ingredients to build an internal representation

of your sense of self using the exact same sub modalities. Use the same
combination and we can transfer those feeling of love and appreciation to you to
shift from low self esteem to high self esteem in a matter of minutes.

All this is possible because self esteem is simply a subjective experience we

create in our mind and build with sub modalities. Change the sub modalities and
we change our self esteem.

Now, that you have mapped the key sub modalities that apply when
experiencing love and appreciation for someone special we will apply that
combination of sub modalities to your self image.

Consider how you think of your self. Close your eyes and notice what you see,
hear and feel when you think of yourself. Choose a positive activity or pretend
you are in a similar scene to that one the person you love is in.

Now, one sub modality at a time, change that image in your mind. Start with the
modality (visual, auditory or kinesthetic) that is easiest for you to manipulate.
Little by little your feelings will change and something strange will happen. You
will feel that love and approval you felt before but this time those feelings are
directed to the image of your self.

5. The final step is to check for ecology. We need to ensure these changes are
acceptable to all parts of you. To do this, ask yourself is it okay to keep this
change in self esteem? And then listen to your heart. If you get a feeling or a
sense of “yes” you are done.

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Any other response means you need to ask one more question: can I take on
as much of the change as is right and appropriate for me at this time? Then
allow your wisdom and intelligence that is other than conscious to take care of
the change.

This ecology check is extremely important so make sure to follow these

instructions. You can only make and keep changes that are acceptable to all
parts of your mind – if you try to force a personality change you will fail because
there are wider implications for you as a whole person that need to be
considered whenever you make changes in personality and behavior.

You will only change as fast and to the degree that is appropriate for you overall
well being. If you make gains in your self esteem today and still want more.
Give your mind a few days to integrate the changes in your behavior and then
run through the above exercise again.

Looking Ahead – Getting Results with these Strategies

We have covered some very powerful concepts and strategies for personal
change in this report. Play with these techniques and this new mindset will soon
be second nature to you. You will be pleasantly surprised at how much you will
love and accept yourself… as long as you go and use these exercises!

And one last point before I go, if you want more great material to study I have
two solid recommendations in the next section.

Recommended Resources:

1. How To Communicate With Unstoppable Confidence by P. Murphy

This course has sold like crazy ever since I released it and I love hearing the
amazing success stories that come in from all over the world. At the time of this
writing, I’m offering seven great bonuses with this course. If you liked this
special report on self esteem you will love the first two bonuses:

#1 - Conversation Fear and the Three Ways to Kill It

#2 - How to Start a Great Conversation with Anyone

Click here now to see why people rave about this breakthrough course:

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/

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2. The Release Technique

This is the best course available to learn how to completely lose the need for
approval from others which directly impacts your self esteem.

If you want greater happiness and great relationships you’ll love this course. It’s
called the Abundance Course although it’s not just about financial abundance.
In fact, it’s more about taking charge of your emotional life so that you drop the
fear of rejection, failure, and success and enjoy more abundant relationships
and a happier life.

You can get a free introduction to the Abundance Course by clicking here:

http://www-abundancecourse.com/

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